Trump Says Giuliani Will 'Get His Facts Straight'

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  • čas přidán 7. 05. 2018
  • On Friday, the President told reporters that his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, would 'get his facts straight.' He was wrong.
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Komentáře • 1,6K

  • @abramporras7877
    @abramporras7877 Před 6 lety +277

    I had got a Jay walking ticket but I hired Rudy giuliani and he was able to bring it down to a attempted murder charge

    • @1989TaylorsVersiom
      @1989TaylorsVersiom Před 6 lety +7

      Abram Porras 🤣🤣🤣

    • @maryleedeferrari7020
      @maryleedeferrari7020 Před 6 lety +7

      Omg, that is priceless, Abram . . . :) LMFAO

    • @DIESEL0759
      @DIESEL0759 Před 5 lety +14

      +Abram Porras
      Keep in mind, however, I'm still learning the facts of your case. As soon as I get them all figured out, we can go for maybe Involuntary manslaughter.

  • @cymbalspecialist
    @cymbalspecialist Před 6 lety +50

    This is one of the best monologues in a while. Colbert is smart, sharp, and funny, as the ship sinks.

  • @ARMEN-wb7ve
    @ARMEN-wb7ve Před 6 lety +69

    Can't believe this guy was mayor of new york

    • @Steeleperfect
      @Steeleperfect Před 6 lety +8

      Some towns elect a cat as mayor.

    • @albertelnen4995
      @albertelnen4995 Před 5 lety +1

      Neither can the people of New York.

    • @dr.johannesmunch891
      @dr.johannesmunch891 Před 5 lety

      It was a crazy goofy time, bevore 9/11... There were many spooky people in charge out there. Remember the French president, or the Italian...

  • @DieselDad
    @DieselDad Před 6 lety +45

    Thanks Late Show for giving me a laugh during this sad, sad time of American existence.

  • @TheCstar07
    @TheCstar07 Před 6 lety +582

    FACTS.... [BUFFERING]

    • @bernardoheusi6146
      @bernardoheusi6146 Před 6 lety +9

      FARTS... [PLFTTTT]

    • @Jimmy_Jones
      @Jimmy_Jones Před 6 lety +1

      This is the weirdest video on CZcams for buffering. czcams.com/video/sXWJgUuuZvk/video.html
      After the first buffer it will buffer nearly every 5 seconds. At least 80 different people have the same issue on different speed internet.

    • @Cyromantik
      @Cyromantik Před 6 lety +8

      I think he lives on the 404 error page.

    • @azshadow32
      @azshadow32 Před 6 lety

      TheCstar07 🤣😂😂😂😂 And we thought only video streaming would buffer smh🤔😕😞

  • @TheCstar07
    @TheCstar07 Před 6 lety +473

    I didn't know "It's my first day on the job" was an acceptable defense. I need to speak to my lawyer, clearly burning down that children's ward wasn't my fault.

    • @jose9th
      @jose9th Před 6 lety +26

      TheCstar07 that and when that statement was made, he had already been working with him for more than a week...

    • @FuyuBiyori
      @FuyuBiyori Před 6 lety +14

      He stole that line from Homer Simpson. "It's my first day"

    • @TimeandMonotony
      @TimeandMonotony Před 6 lety +18

      Reminds me of George Costanza's excuse for getting caught having sex with the janitor on his desk at work: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell ya, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon...."

    • @autohmae
      @autohmae Před 6 lety +1

      What is amazing, he should know.. he's a lawyer. ;-)

    • @stevecampbell9670
      @stevecampbell9670 Před 6 lety +1

      Just make sure that your lawyer isn't Rudy Giuliani.

  • @spark9_
    @spark9_ Před 6 lety +173

    "How could I know if he would take the Fifth? He'd have to divorce the Third and the Fourth!"
    Could Stephen be more savage haha

    • @jrozay3788
      @jrozay3788 Před 6 lety

      Sachindra Bhattacharya Savage?? Lmao. In the real world Colbert wouldn’t last 30 seconds against real Savages!!

    • @brooklyna007
      @brooklyna007 Před 6 lety

      Well it is a family show that gets censored so I'm sure he holds back considerably. But geez...I can't imagine what he would be like with an uncensored show.

  • @pano3607
    @pano3607 Před 6 lety +51

    So let’s get this right:
    The president of the United States’ high profile lawyer went on TV and directly contradicted what the President had said previously. The president then backed that new “truth” up.
    24hrs later, the president went on TV and called both his lawyer and himself a liar.
    Meanwhile, the lawyer is still out there talking on TV saying more or less a different thing every time: it had nothing to do with the campaign/he didn’t know/he did know/it did actually help the campaign
    Somehow, despite the obvious lies and contradictions, that guy is still his lawyer and the president is still president. We live in insane times.

  • @223Drone
    @223Drone Před 6 lety +73

    Do they realize that constantly changing the story puts them in an even more negative light.

    • @Asher_Tye
      @Asher_Tye Před 6 lety

      223Drone a theory is going around that they're deliberately muddying the water to keep the facts from coming to light later.

    • @jonahlynx94
      @jonahlynx94 Před 6 lety +2

      Yeah but his supporters don't care, so honestly this changes nothing.

  • @everlastingwonder6126
    @everlastingwonder6126 Před 6 lety +49

    "Speaking of natural disasters, Rudy Giuliani" might be my favorite segue of all time. Definitely in the top 10.

    • @maryrosekent8223
      @maryrosekent8223 Před 6 lety +1

      Gus Wiedey: He uses that segue technique just enough to keep it from going stale but not enough to glut the market (as it were)-and you’re right, this one was a real zinger.

  • @censusgary
    @censusgary Před 6 lety +206

    OK, Rudy Giuliani, I’m a nuisance. Now pay me $130,000, please.

    • @jocomfiresin6982
      @jocomfiresin6982 Před 6 lety +1

      Gary Cooper I am a much bigger nuisance
      I will need at least 500k

  • @eldorados_lost_searcher
    @eldorados_lost_searcher Před 6 lety +744

    Whoever is in the White House after all this is going to have a terrible time rebuilding credibility for the office.

    • @Serprizebuttsecks
      @Serprizebuttsecks Před 6 lety +73

      Exactly! We've been saying the same (myself and friends here in the UK) we feel so sorry for whoever comes in after Trump because whether he gets impeached and goes early, goes 4 years or by some disaster (and the most likely outcome) he goes the full 8 years, whoever comes after is gonna have to spend somewhere between most to all of their time as president just undoing everything this idiot has done and trying to rebuild good will to the rest of the world cos you're gonna need it!

    • @jokerman1964
      @jokerman1964 Před 6 lety +86

      Garret LeBuis like President Obama had to do after king george the junior. Why is it the democrats are always cleaning up the messes republicans make.

    • @lizatanzawa7910
      @lizatanzawa7910 Před 6 lety +24

      That's why BERNIE2020!!

    • @shahusta
      @shahusta Před 6 lety +13

      Lisa Simpson?

    • @mikeylikesit6588
      @mikeylikesit6588 Před 6 lety +2

      Poor Kanye. Hopefully I can afford to expat by then.

  • @VietNguyen-nc9jq
    @VietNguyen-nc9jq Před 6 lety +138

    I think I have what it takes to be a lawyer.

    • @pamelacass9642
      @pamelacass9642 Před 6 lety +6

      Viet Nguyen We all do, but if our parents liked us, they beat it the hell out of us. Just sayin'. 😆

    • @jmcnern3342
      @jmcnern3342 Před 6 lety

      Viet Nguyen p

    • @mimimarcus
      @mimimarcus Před 6 lety

      Can you lie at all times in all places? Congrats, you're now Trump's next personal lawyer.

  • @kimjongfun5427
    @kimjongfun5427 Před 6 lety +1319

    Journalist: What's the true story about Stormy Daniels payment?
    Rudy Giuliani: We are still working on that.

    • @c.s.7266
      @c.s.7266 Před 6 lety +19

      Kim Jong Fun Hahahahaha!

    • @ZesPak
      @ZesPak Před 6 lety +40

      Would be funny if it wasn't so very true.

    • @cisco8650
      @cisco8650 Před 6 lety +28

      I think they're on their third draft by now.

    • @jeremyharris7811
      @jeremyharris7811 Před 6 lety +18

      Gulliani: The answer that doesn't incriminate the President pls.

    • @Shuizid
      @Shuizid Před 6 lety +20

      I like the idea, that they are "working" on that, because Trump lies to his own layers and they are actually working to get the facts out of him.

  • @maryanneslater9675
    @maryanneslater9675 Před 6 lety +141

    $130,000 isn't much money? Apparently this is how the rich think when they're paying to save their own reputation or political career. But if 130 minimum wage employees want a 50 cent an hour raise, it's a hell of a lot of money and could ruin the company.

    • @essentialworker2553
      @essentialworker2553 Před 6 lety +8

      Yup, not much at all. It's only about how much a minimum wage earner could make if they saved every cent after working for a quick and easy 5 years.

    • @schadenfreude3236
      @schadenfreude3236 Před 6 lety +10

      Maryanne Slater - Right? Kind of sad that $130k is throwaway money to people telling the rest of us that minimum wage doesn't need to rise at all to meet the current cost of living. XD

    • @ryanjapan3113
      @ryanjapan3113 Před 5 lety

      Maryanne Slater I get your point but I don’t think 50 cents would ruin a company

    • @Siathuan
      @Siathuan Před 5 lety +1

      @@ryanjapan3113 I think you didn't get her point, actually, since that's exactly what she was saying.

    • @ryanjapan3113
      @ryanjapan3113 Před 5 lety

      Siathuan she was talking about how the rich see money differently than the non rich

  • @Jumana04
    @Jumana04 Před 6 lety +30

    I really don't get it.
    How can you work on facts?
    What a concept !!!!

  • @craigjgomez
    @craigjgomez Před 6 lety +48

    "Those are the facts we're still working on"? Really? Here's a fact that nobody has to work on, Rudy Giuliani has lost his mind.

  • @crucialblue
    @crucialblue Před 6 lety +166

    This administration is like a bunch of children lying to their parents about who broke the window.

    • @jurastakaune1423
      @jurastakaune1423 Před 6 lety +18

      Crucial Blue worse, some of them are arguing, that window is not broken. And Rudy is not exactly aware if window exists at all. Window might be just "opinion" 🙄

    • @essentialworker2553
      @essentialworker2553 Před 6 lety +8

      My question to you is why aren't you asking about all the windows that aren't broken?

    • @burny6666
      @burny6666 Před 6 lety +3

      It was Hillary obviously.

  • @Alcagaur1
    @Alcagaur1 Před 6 lety +38

    Anyone remember the conservative outrage (for months) over "It depends on what your definition of 'is' is"? Well, looks like it now has a twin across the aisle - "what you mean by 'met her'".

    • @redlightmax
      @redlightmax Před 6 lety +4

      +Alcagaur1 7:34 Also, what he meant by "No."

  • @Scott-J
    @Scott-J Před 6 lety +22

    Does Rudy not know we have this thing called "video recordings"? He must think we are all very very stupid.

    • @jurastakaune1423
      @jurastakaune1423 Před 6 lety +1

      Scott J he was born before even Tivo... and, seemingly, spent quite some time in a coffin, buried in his native land. That would explain him being so ... lost 🙄😉

    • @schadenfreude3236
      @schadenfreude3236 Před 6 lety +2

      Richard Parker - Sadly one of the better explanations I've heard...

  • @DanGolag
    @DanGolag Před 6 lety +36

    I'm enjoying the woman literally screaming with laughter in the audience. I thought that was just a figure of speech.

    • @redlightmax
      @redlightmax Před 6 lety

      +Gal Dagon Theory: that's the audience fluffer, someone hired to get people laughing.

  • @MyUniqueVibe
    @MyUniqueVibe Před 6 lety +52

    You can actually tell there are less and less dislikes as the weeks go by

    • @bernardoheusi6146
      @bernardoheusi6146 Před 6 lety +13

      Every one in the world laughs at the Orangutard, so Colbert get likes from everywhere, even here in Brazil we laugh at him (not that our president is much better...)

    • @maryrosekent8223
      @maryrosekent8223 Před 6 lety

      Dawn of Fyre: Fewer and fewer. Less for numbers, fewer for indeterminate amounts.

  • @tworains2
    @tworains2 Před 6 lety +36

    Bob Muller rubbing his hands like birdman right about now after seeing rudy's interviews.

    • @CButtonshaw
      @CButtonshaw Před 6 lety

      Mueller isn't allowed to drink/eat outside of sense-deprevation room. He kept choking over all the Trump stuff.

  • @danbarn2356
    @danbarn2356 Před 6 lety +39

    You can’t make this stuff up!

  • @GottuboiBeachVolleyball
    @GottuboiBeachVolleyball Před 6 lety +136

    Rudy G. got his 👨‍🎓Law degree from Trump University.

  • @jprsfragoso
    @jprsfragoso Před 6 lety +10

    "I don't separate fact and opinion"... The new Republican slogan right here.

  • @aquaperro
    @aquaperro Před 6 lety +27

    At least Rudy said one true thing, he can't tell the difference between fact and opinion.

    • @evannibbe9375
      @evannibbe9375 Před 6 lety +4

      garrithscots Two true things: he also said that Trump fired Comey to stop the Russia investigation (which is illegal).

  • @lisadee4490
    @lisadee4490 Před 6 lety +30

    saying anything in no particular order 😂😂😂🤣🤣

  • @Carlomagnus333
    @Carlomagnus333 Před 6 lety +40

    Is Giulani like the worst lawyer ever?

    • @sparklemotion1018
      @sparklemotion1018 Před 6 lety +2

      This is "spokesman" work, not legal work, and I'm not sure why anyone put Giuliani in charge of going on TV and spewing lies.
      Either way, Rudy's law firm took him off its web site and put him on "permanent unpaid leave" because - like all the other top NY firms Trump approached - Rudy's ex-firm (Greenberg Traurig) doesn't want anything to do with the shit-show in the White House; the firm's partners don't want to destroy their reputation by getting involved with Trump.

  • @coosoorlog
    @coosoorlog Před 6 lety +302

    "There is no O"
    -The Alphabet Sceptics Society

    • @sonyahannah
      @sonyahannah Před 6 lety +12

      There's also no "L": Noel, noel. . .

    • @wesleyrodgers886
      @wesleyrodgers886 Před 6 lety +20

      The Alphabet Sceptics sciety

    • @coosoorlog
      @coosoorlog Před 6 lety +2

      just noticed there is no K either! :D

    • @daviddesosa
      @daviddesosa Před 6 lety

      Coos Oorlog explain yourself, or at least Colbert's joke, young man!

    • @humboldthammer
      @humboldthammer Před 6 lety

      Fuq M, if Q cannot take a joke.
      QQQ "flipped" is 666

  • @mika6516
    @mika6516 Před 6 lety +22

    This keeps me sane

  • @OverlordMango
    @OverlordMango Před 6 lety +23

    He couldn't keep up with all the alternative facts. Honestly no one can blame him.

    • @schadenfreude3236
      @schadenfreude3236 Před 6 lety

      Concerned - Probably the best point anyone's made in Giuliani's defense.

  • @bookjunk
    @bookjunk Před 6 lety +37

    In his interview with Hannity Giuliani prefaced his comments about Trump reimbursing Michael Cohen for the Stormy Daniels pay-off by literally saying: "Sorry, I'm giving you a fact now that you don't know." But apparently now it's an opinion, because "[he] can't prove that." Seems legit. #sarcasm

    • @redlightmax
      @redlightmax Před 6 lety +6

      +bookjunk I guess it's Rudy's opinion that it's a fact.
      I really hope interviewers hammer him on this, asking him, "Now are you stating an opinion or a fact? Do you know what the facts are yet? Do you know what day it is?"

    • @bookjunk
      @bookjunk Před 6 lety +4

      That would be awesome! "That was Rudy Giuliani, giving his completely unfounded opinion, for the facts we now go to..."

    • @maryrosekent8223
      @maryrosekent8223 Před 6 lety +2

      bookjunk: I would pay money for that if it were to come true.

    • @bookjunk
      @bookjunk Před 6 lety +1

      Has Jake Tapper been unleashed on Giuliani yet?

  • @crazyman8472
    @crazyman8472 Před 6 lety +25

    “Speaking of natural disasters, Rudy Giuliani...” I just love these little segues. 😎

  • @gunner678
    @gunner678 Před 6 lety +50

    The presidents attorney ladies and gentlemen.....what an aweful reality we live in!

    • @maryrosekent8223
      @maryrosekent8223 Před 6 lety +3

      Matthew Dobbs: And I am, indeed, full of awe at his awfulness.

  • @lazyperfectionist1
    @lazyperfectionist1 Před 6 lety +820

    "This is more _rumor_ than anything else."
    "But _that's_ what _you_ said. _You_ said that to _buzzfeed."_
    "Well, _yeah._ That's one of the possibilities and one of the _rumors."_
    Oh, dear. The Alzheimer's is taking dear Uncle Rudy.

  • @rysun8709
    @rysun8709 Před 6 lety +100

    As John Oliver stated Rudy Giuliani is going senile, but please keep talking.

  • @ariehill5631
    @ariehill5631 Před 6 lety +201

    We tried the "I'm new to this" argument out with Trump. How's that been workin for us so far?

    • @freema9246
      @freema9246 Před 6 lety

      Arie Hill just in case you forgot. It isn't. Unless it's your president, in which case, #winning

    • @Newuxtreme
      @Newuxtreme Před 6 lety +3

      But it's good though right? If this moron is to defend Trump he will FINALLY get kicked out and hopefully imprisoned (though I don't care about imprisonment as much as sanity in the govt) !

    • @CButtonshaw
      @CButtonshaw Před 6 lety +3

      1.5 years {plus campaign}..... don't think that qualifies as NEW anymore....... Giuliani just sucks lol

    • @humboldthammer
      @humboldthammer Před 6 lety +5

      I'm new to this. Why are we spending another $700 BILLION on the military, this year, next year, and every year for the last 20 years, when the Pentagon cannot tell us what they spent the money on, only that we already blew it all up, and on top of that, Every Single Damn Dollar is Borrowed against America's Future?
      Hint: You have just discovered the true meaning of DUMB. WAR APPROVED by the Silent Majority

  • @TimeandMonotony
    @TimeandMonotony Před 6 lety +852

    Remind me never to hire Rudy Giuliani as my lawyer.

    • @redlightmax
      @redlightmax Před 6 lety +35

      +TimeandMonotony Don't worry, he'll remind you with every interview.

    • @willritter4076
      @willritter4076 Před 6 lety +8

      at least Rudy understands that prostitution is popular with Trump's evangelical base... since the Stormy Daniels scandal broke in March, Trump's approval has risen by 7 points (from 38 to 45 percent)... i'd greatly appreciate it if some fans of 80s power ballads would check out my acoustic piano & vocal covers of IS THIS LOVE by Whitesnake, AGAINST ALL ODDS by Phil Collins, and SISTER CHRISTIAN by Night Ranger on my channel. Live acoustic with no autotune. Thanks and rock on.

    • @davidbates3057
      @davidbates3057 Před 6 lety +2

      I swear Rudy is just trolling Trump. Like, I know nothing of him other than he was a controversial figure as New York mayor, but I was under the impression that he was a somewhat competent lawyer. How can anyone be that bad if they're not intentionally going out to sabotage their client?

    • @LupineShadowOmega
      @LupineShadowOmega Před 6 lety +4

      David Bates, I wouldn't say he's bad. The problem is juggling and spinning plates at the same time. Trump has a lot of lies in the air to keep track of. Rudy was trying to avoid actual legal trouble over campaign finance law and not caring about the lies. Now he knows better. XD

    • @luvvinallmusik5748
      @luvvinallmusik5748 Před 6 lety +3

      jozier bell In the US it's called hedging your bets.

  • @BartAlder
    @BartAlder Před 6 lety +17

    Facts exist independently of opinions. In Rudy's case it seems opinions also exist independent of any facts.

  • @fidorover
    @fidorover Před 6 lety +1066

    "Kids, I just wanted you to know that my beloved attorney, Rudy Giuliani, has been driven to a farm upstate where a very nice family will take good care of him. He'll have plenty of fresh air and room to run wild and free for the remainder of his days."
    -- _President Donald J. Trump_

    • @TheFriendlyTroll
      @TheFriendlyTroll Před 6 lety +34

      LMAO! This should be the opening sketch on SNL this weekend!

    • @camelsheit_on_the_walls446
      @camelsheit_on_the_walls446 Před 6 lety +14

      fidorover Sweet ! :)

    • @rohypnotist6263
      @rohypnotist6263 Před 6 lety +25

      Can we go visit him dad ?

    • @buch1224
      @buch1224 Před 6 lety +22

      He will play on the rainbow bridge with Michel Cohen. Dodd and Cobb went to a different farm.

    • @rjonboy7608
      @rjonboy7608 Před 6 lety +17

      Would any children *want* to go to this farm? 😣 Sounds like a threat: "Eat all your carrots little Billy or we'll take you to the Griftweasel Plantation. You'll have to sit all day in the Museum of Three Thousand Lies listening to Mayor Stop and Frisk telling all his stories" 😭

  • @shanhussain6114
    @shanhussain6114 Před 6 lety +82

    My word, Giuliani is just digging that hole deeper.

  • @pamm5287
    @pamm5287 Před 6 lety +8

    "Before He Take's The 5th He'd Have To Divorce The 3rd & 4th." 🤣

  • @pamm5287
    @pamm5287 Před 6 lety +4

    "$130,000, Yeah You're Low Balling Her." 🤣

  • @TheEpicYak17
    @TheEpicYak17 Před 6 lety +206

    Rudy Giuliani continuing to make TV appearances is the equivalent of trying to put out a fire with gasoline. It only makes things worse and it makes no sense.

    • @aurora5481
      @aurora5481 Před 6 lety +5

      And like all things handled by try Trump, it still doesn't miss a chance of profiting oil companies.

    • @sonyahannah
      @sonyahannah Před 6 lety

      Fun to watch, though!

    • @MsBettyRubble
      @MsBettyRubble Před 6 lety +1

      I'm glad he's doing that. It might bury #45 faster.

    • @maggierezac5820
      @maggierezac5820 Před 6 lety

      sonyahannah, even more fun is to use the Closed Captioning on the TV machine! They've just given up trying to spell the name Rudy Giuliani & now just type in the words "Rude Jew"! True dat! Peace!

    • @aurora5481
      @aurora5481 Před 6 lety

      Trump's approval rating has actually gone up during this fiasco.

  • @erikroberts8307
    @erikroberts8307 Před 6 lety +5

    This is by far the funniest monologue I have ever seen in a long time. Stephen had me laughing so hard, I was in stitches nearly the whole time! 😂😂😂

  • @johnbaugh4988
    @johnbaugh4988 Před 6 lety +7

    Stephen Colbert was on fire in this show

  • @Steve27775
    @Steve27775 Před 6 lety +174

    Giuliani is a more cartoonish, incompetent and ridiculous lawyer than the Simpsons' Lionel Hutz (of "I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm"). "My, uh, client, Mr Trump, did indeed pay that porn star, uh... wait, no, he repaid the money, which, by the way, was peanuts compared to what the other women got, I mean, uh, no, forget I said that."

  • @KingOfMadCows
    @KingOfMadCows Před 6 lety +635

    Maybe the reason why there's no O is because Trump is constantly changing his position.

    • @Clarkthek
      @Clarkthek Před 6 lety +6

      czcams.com/video/9CdVTCDdEwI/video.html

    • @Lupin788
      @Lupin788 Před 6 lety +46

      "There is no O" - on that, Stormy and Melania both agree.

    • @marriagecapital101
      @marriagecapital101 Před 6 lety +7

      KingOfMadCows ...good one

    • @AHDBification
      @AHDBification Před 6 lety +5

      You made me lol. Bravo.

    • @EmanDeMoan
      @EmanDeMoan Před 6 lety +1

      KingOfMadCows what's an O?

  • @maxxsbrother2
    @maxxsbrother2 Před 6 lety +77

    So many things wrong with this reality I don't know where to begin.

    • @cisco8650
      @cisco8650 Před 6 lety +6

      I'm pretty sure it's just Thanos using the reality stone. There's no way reality can become this absurd, right?

    • @jeffreyjavad145
      @jeffreyjavad145 Před 6 lety +1

      i guezz Hillary caused this reality by cheating Sanders

    • @Mcdonalotto
      @Mcdonalotto Před 6 lety

      well if you watch colbert he is going to spin things in a way to make you end up feeling like a victim every time but with some kind of comedic edge. you can find news anchors that will bring things down to earth and you will feel more empowered and not taken advantage of.

  • @turdferguson8928
    @turdferguson8928 Před 6 lety +2

    "First he'll have to divorce the 3rd and the 4th!" Okay, that's a pretty damn brilliant joke

  • @garybennett7835
    @garybennett7835 Před 6 lety +31

    Where are Trumps best people ? On holidays,in the gym,in the basement ,in hiding, in space? I mean I've looked everywhere & no can find!!

    • @beta269
      @beta269 Před 6 lety +4

      When they're the only people Trump can get, they end up becoming his 'best' by default.

    • @ummmidunno8308
      @ummmidunno8308 Před 6 lety +1

      gary bennett these are his best people.. with all the biggest words bc they know all best words like covfefe! Everyone else is just wrong and stupid!

  • @siwi666
    @siwi666 Před 6 lety +30

    is this country for real? I am in hysterics.

  • @animec-dramaskpop6362
    @animec-dramaskpop6362 Před 6 lety +1116

    The day Trump goes to jail should be made a national holiday.
    Edit: International holiday 😂

    • @chrismanuel9768
      @chrismanuel9768 Před 6 lety +51

      I'll be celebrating like it is

    • @CoachingHigher
      @CoachingHigher Před 6 lety +25

      afro curly girl YES

    • @kevinburnes3216
      @kevinburnes3216 Před 6 lety +1

      Is the NY AG gonna prosecute?? Nah, he just resigned but I doubt you have heard about it!

    • @TheKaiTetley
      @TheKaiTetley Před 6 lety +28

      afro curly girl. World wide holiday.

    • @beckv8526
      @beckv8526 Před 6 lety +10

      Kevin Burnes What? He won't be replaced? Was he the last AG? Justice in NY is no more?

  • @Maremons
    @Maremons Před 6 lety +102

    Has anyone used the phrase "Stormy Denials" in a segment? They should if they haven't.

    • @redlightmax
      @redlightmax Před 6 lety +2

      +Maremons There is a political cartoon:
      www.cagle.com/john-cole/2018/04/stormy-denials

  • @marriagecapital101
    @marriagecapital101 Před 6 lety +13

    There is no O... Melania knows that all to well

  • @zbsz92
    @zbsz92 Před 6 lety +150

    Goddamn, references on point todayyy

    • @bernardoheusi6146
      @bernardoheusi6146 Před 6 lety

      If Hillary was a goblin according to Alex Jones, what is Trump in bed?

    • @EvWuzhere
      @EvWuzhere Před 6 lety +8

      That dj khaled joke was actually used well

    • @muggleypoop
      @muggleypoop Před 6 lety +1

      aight thats a pretty damn good punchline but i hate you so much for it and that image in my head now!

  • @TheHua89
    @TheHua89 Před 6 lety +301

    The American people need to cancel the Donald Trump show

    • @Ms.gnomer
      @Ms.gnomer Před 6 lety +15

      TheHua89 the Mike Pence Designated Viewing Hour doesn’t sound better

    • @lyricbot8513
      @lyricbot8513 Před 6 lety +4

      Naomi Jones he'll get impeached too

    • @rohypnotist6263
      @rohypnotist6263 Před 6 lety +4

      The ratings are too high . Nr 1 shit-show on tv

    • @JT-xj1pg
      @JT-xj1pg Před 6 lety

      Rohypno tist on earth

    • @williampratama1670
      @williampratama1670 Před 6 lety +1

      TheHua89 is there even such thing? I'm sorry if I'm outdated.

  • @coleenparsons4905
    @coleenparsons4905 Před 6 lety +7

    Isn't low-balling the reason for those elevated toilet seats in assisted living facilities?

  • @TheNovellaB
    @TheNovellaB Před 6 lety +6

    So this is the story of O?
    Lol
    These unintended references crack me up.

  • @acciousername6776
    @acciousername6776 Před 6 lety +8

    That lava though🤤... have only seen it in cartoons. Hope their lives become safe and normal soon.

  • @awang557
    @awang557 Před 6 lety +35

    Ha ha ha! He is as senile as Trump.

  • @ricaard
    @ricaard Před 6 lety +15

    "I PLEAD THE FIF!"

  • @alainarchambault2331
    @alainarchambault2331 Před 6 lety +7

    Rudy Giuliani is so "all over the place", he's no longer viable as an interviewee.

  • @MforMovesets
    @MforMovesets Před 6 lety +215

    And Mr. Giuliani, you still call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled?

    • @jamesc210
      @jamesc210 Před 6 lety +14

      MforMovesets Someone PLEASE make a Steamed Hams with Giuliani. So appropriate

    • @deweygumdrops
      @deweygumdrops Před 6 lety +2

      AMAZING!!

    • @LaGuerre19
      @LaGuerre19 Před 6 lety +12

      I'm from Utica, but I've never heard that.

    • @tommyt1971
      @tommyt1971 Před 6 lety +12

      MforMovesets Yeah, and the Northern Lights shine exclusively in his kitchen.

    • @22patch22
      @22patch22 Před 6 lety +4

      mmmmm.... steamed hams

  • @madshansen1375
    @madshansen1375 Před 6 lety +12

    that last joke was CRAZYYYYYYY

    • @EmanDeMoan
      @EmanDeMoan Před 6 lety

      Mads Hansen in honestly don't get it please explain lol

    • @mistressfannypack9184
      @mistressfannypack9184 Před 6 lety +1

      Eman DeMoan DJ Khaled once made a statement that he doesn’t go down on women because “the rules are different for men”

  • @lypscratch
    @lypscratch Před 6 lety

    Best facts of life description I've ever heard! Thanks for the education! Special hug! Love it!

  • @sturdymule8967
    @sturdymule8967 Před 6 lety +4

    Dislikes are getting lower... even the Russian bots can't keep standing next to this mess.

  • @howtobicycle3853
    @howtobicycle3853 Před 6 lety +35

    If you listen carefully at 3:30 you can hear a wild minion

  • @Seraphvonteschen
    @Seraphvonteschen Před 6 lety +19

    Don't worry I'm sure Mueller knows the facts

    • @redlightmax
      @redlightmax Před 6 lety +1

      +ernesto garcia Fun fact: Mueller has requested 105 blank subpoenas (35 + 70) for the trial of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort. That's a lot of witnesses. Trial begins July 10. Mark your calendar.

  • @ELBlDu
    @ELBlDu Před 6 lety +2

    thank you for putting this up. I dont always get to stay up for his monologue. I LOVE Steven Colbert! He is so smart, clever and whitty, and HILARIOUSLY funny. Just love him.

  • @colechapman3382
    @colechapman3382 Před 2 lety +2

    That lady in the background laughing was having a very good time!

  • @profhase9202
    @profhase9202 Před 6 lety +7

    Do these guys care about anything? They believe they are so rich they will get through with anything.

  • @brianahicks4805
    @brianahicks4805 Před 6 lety +6

    That Khalid slam was 🔥🔥

    • @deprofundis3293
      @deprofundis3293 Před 6 lety

      Briana Hicks Super creepy and weird to me that DJ Khalid is against doing that!

  • @lazyperfectionist1
    @lazyperfectionist1 Před 6 lety +209

    "Speaking of natural disasters, Rudy Giuliani."
    Yes. The fellow who, try though he might be, just can't seem to figure out what the underlying narrative is.

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 Před 6 lety +3

      @lazyperfectionist1: I think Steven was referring to the Hurricane Rudy joke he made earlier.

    • @lizardog
      @lizardog Před 6 lety +3

      I think lazy was referring to Rudy, but it's hard to tell.

  • @napoleonibonaparte7198
    @napoleonibonaparte7198 Před 6 lety +6

    Admit it, John Oliver told us everything we need to know... especially his cousin

  • @ml6886
    @ml6886 Před 6 lety +110

    I knew Giuliani was a Trump supporter once I found out he married his cousin.

    • @adisciple9485
      @adisciple9485 Před 6 lety +3

      M L ,🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @mellow_mallow
      @mellow_mallow Před 6 lety +4

      M L keep in mind, second cousin. Weirdly legal and apparently not a genetic problem. I guess it's not really my problem. Still seems kind of weird, though.

    • @dorismotley6520
      @dorismotley6520 Před 6 lety +2

      HEE HAW!!!!!!!!

  • @boonlincoln
    @boonlincoln Před 6 lety +154

    Monologue Order:
    1. Trump Says Giuliani Will 'Get His Facts Straight'
    2. Melania To Today's Youth: 'Be Best'

    • @trinaholman4083
      @trinaholman4083 Před 6 lety +2

      Ta. =o)

    • @nancymesek
      @nancymesek Před 6 lety +14

      And she stole the initiative from the Obama admin. She just changed the name...to something too stupid for words.

    • @AHDBification
      @AHDBification Před 6 lety +5

      Ty

  • @bohemianwriter1
    @bohemianwriter1 Před 6 lety +1

    "We're still working on the facts", means "we're working on synchronizing our lies"....

  • @raolf7450
    @raolf7450 Před 6 lety +3

    Let's not forget that this is the same guy who was mayor of NYC at the time of 9/11/2001...

  • @lordlucius1341
    @lordlucius1341 Před 6 lety +3

    Love the long monologues guys keep it up!

  • @activatedrumble3625
    @activatedrumble3625 Před 6 lety +8

    why is rudy throwing trump under the bus?

    • @dminter1234
      @dminter1234 Před 6 lety

      because Trump refused to appoint him to a cabinet position.

    • @maryrosekent8223
      @maryrosekent8223 Před 6 lety +2

      Jason Sugrue: Because (A) the Cheeto-in-Chief deserves it, and (B) RG is certifiable.

    • @leanie9660
      @leanie9660 Před 6 lety

      Jason Sugrue ...because he's just that stupid

  • @FloydGirl51
    @FloydGirl51 Před 6 lety

    I cannot get enough of you, Stephen Tyrone!!!!

  • @FaithMatini
    @FaithMatini Před 6 lety

    They need to start keeping track of the lies...”I said that when?”

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 6 lety +21

    " Raise your right hand... Do you promise to tell the rumor, the whole rumor, and nothing but the rumor?"

  • @BenderRodriguez10
    @BenderRodriguez10 Před 6 lety +4

    Volcanoes gonna volcano.

  • @mitchkettles5242
    @mitchkettles5242 Před 6 lety +1

    If $130,000 is not that much, can you spot me Rudy?

  • @Ekkie101
    @Ekkie101 Před 6 lety +3

    How do you separate fact from opinion? Don't ask a right-winger. They think their opinions ARE facts.

  • @marilynn7799
    @marilynn7799 Před 6 lety +23

    Lol, he made a joke about DJ Khaled.

    • @michaellanders4311
      @michaellanders4311 Před 6 lety

      Marilyn N DJ Khaleed said he is never going to give Oral pleasure to a woman. HahahahA!! Oooo !! NooOO Ooo!

  • @Aqquila89
    @Aqquila89 Před 6 lety +17

    Trump's full sentence was "There is no O, it’s called Fighting Back" As Colorado Kristi wrote, "there's no O, just fighting back" is also how women who had sexual contact with Trump describe the experience afterwards.

  • @Lanse1984
    @Lanse1984 Před 6 lety +2

    What a disaster LOLOLOLOLOL. Avenatti was like. Did that just happen?

  • @jabberw0k812
    @jabberw0k812 Před 6 lety +1

    Funny that 'getting our facts straight' is what people do when deciding how to lie. And they clearly have not reached a decision yet...

  • @paxvesania2008
    @paxvesania2008 Před 6 lety +25

    Man, It would be a total shitshow when Trump plead the 5th.

    • @Kasino80
      @Kasino80 Před 6 lety +14

      Misericordia I don't think he's physically able to NOT talk. Taking the 5th would cause him bodily harm.

    • @xy6845
      @xy6845 Před 6 lety +1

      Misericordia It already is.

    • @nyanko8972
      @nyanko8972 Před 6 lety

      So basically, just like every other day...

  • @XX-gy7ue
    @XX-gy7ue Před 6 lety +4

    BRAVO STEPHEN COLBERT

  • @DavidfromBA
    @DavidfromBA Před 6 lety +2

    Remember when there was a clear distinction to be made between presidential administrations, and send-ups of said administrations on late night talk shows, SNL, The Onion, etc? Also, remember when blurring that line came with actual consequences?

  • @ThePartarar
    @ThePartarar Před 6 lety +1

    Transitions of gold, nice writing

  • @fractalwaves325
    @fractalwaves325 Před 6 lety +42

    You do great things Stephen!

  • @N_Moli
    @N_Moli Před 6 lety +37

    Rudy screws Spankey so hard, he's basically Stormy Daniels' rival.

  • @BuzryHaproMandalorianHunter

    I knew that playing "The Floor is Lava" will come in handy one day.
    I don't live in Hwaii.

  • @georgeparker8698
    @georgeparker8698 Před 6 lety

    All of this lying without consequences is out of control! This is absolutely insane.