Stephen Breaks Down Michael Cohen's Recording Of Trump

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  • čas přidán 29. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 2,2K

  • @ScytheNoire
    @ScytheNoire Před 6 lety +691

    Stormy was one time. Karen was 10 months. Sounds like Stormy got the way better deal.

    • @Inamichan
      @Inamichan Před 6 lety +61

      ScytheNoire but honestly you have to feel bad for both of them 🤢
      No amount of money makes that worth it

    • @STSWB5SG1FAN
      @STSWB5SG1FAN Před 6 lety +5

      But the Playboy® model got $20k more than the adult film star.

    • @freema9246
      @freema9246 Před 6 lety +49

      Bernard Gilbert but stormy was in and out. The other chick had to endure 10 months

    • @FunkyMonkey-ip4xy
      @FunkyMonkey-ip4xy Před 6 lety +38

      imanasaurus rex Nope I don't really feel sorry for them. Stormy was a one off and got 130k. The other one kept going back for more over ten months. So she either wasn't repulsed by him, is a bit simple or she's a gold digger like Melania. Unless of course she fell for his gentle personality, good looks, generous nature, warm and witty sense of humour and all round humanity.

    • @nathanmathews2148
      @nathanmathews2148 Před 6 lety +2

      And Shera got preggo, to the tune of 1.6 million

  • @calebjiang4056
    @calebjiang4056 Před 6 lety +306

    Yes! Entire monologue in a single video again!

  • @Kirsten_is_cursed10
    @Kirsten_is_cursed10 Před 6 lety +646

    Okay...I’m starting to think that someone who paid nearly $300k to have sex twice is maybe, possibly, not super good at making deals?

    • @leanie9660
      @leanie9660 Před 6 lety +37

      Kirsten S. ..and definitely not super good at sex (despite his own call to a scandal rag claiming to be someone else innocently calling to rave about trump's incredible prowess)

    • @Kirsten_is_cursed10
      @Kirsten_is_cursed10 Před 6 lety +9

      Marqwon Aka Big Lurch D ....gross

    • @shaka2352
      @shaka2352 Před 6 lety +16

      Forreal.. In amsterdam, you only need 200 euro for two

    • @jeannie3684
      @jeannie3684 Před 6 lety +2

      Kirsten S. OR sex!!!

    • @tamcon72
      @tamcon72 Před 6 lety +13

      Yep, and today he insisted that his panicked advisers should cede to his "business acumen" and have faith that imposing terrible tariffs on foreign cars will turn out OK, even though this will send the global auto trade into chaos. Mr. Art of the Deal, everybody!

  • @aleyahaforlife
    @aleyahaforlife Před 6 lety +110

    I was stunned when he said please asking for a coke.

  • @lw3269
    @lw3269 Před 6 lety +52

    "Snake preparing to eat a whole antelope", lol. Had to spit out my licorice before I choked to death.

  • @nancysherry9088
    @nancysherry9088 Před 6 lety +88

    dang Stephen, hearing the news from you is much more entertaining than any other source. Thank you

    • @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342
      @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 Před 6 lety +1

      agreed

    • @OpusTheLeftie
      @OpusTheLeftie Před 6 lety +2

      He's not very funny. He grasps at straws for jokes that his crowd finds funny because they're dense as fuck.

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Jacob YTP- Colbert has no talent, and he always has the lousiest guests. Rose Mcgowan for one thing. Beck? Shitty artist…sad really.

    • @OpusTheLeftie
      @OpusTheLeftie Před 6 lety

      Nobody Special I really love Beck, but otherwise, you're absolutely right.

    • @hubertnguyen7485
      @hubertnguyen7485 Před 6 lety +1

      Stephen doesn't deliver news, he deliver satire comedy. If you want news go to Fox and Friends kakakaka

  • @gabrielchemla1758
    @gabrielchemla1758 Před 6 lety +298

    So glad Cohen turned on Trump.

    • @jessicahildebrand9712
      @jessicahildebrand9712 Před 6 lety +11

      gabriel chemla he really hasn’t yet this most likely is a desperate plea to trump showing him what he can do if trump doesn’t help him

    • @rickeycroux
      @rickeycroux Před 6 lety +10

      he is only doing it to save his own ass

    • @rahullohana7087
      @rahullohana7087 Před 6 lety +11

      rickeycroux what other reason is there to turn on someone?

    • @rickeycroux
      @rickeycroux Před 6 lety +2

      that he has seen the light, he wants to be a good person..... I know I am a dreamer

    • @deborahbell6975
      @deborahbell6975 Před 6 lety +5

      rickeycroux For whatever reason I'm happy.

  • @reknown123
    @reknown123 Před 6 lety +190

    "You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

    • @thebeavpercabethftw9604
      @thebeavpercabethftw9604 Před 6 lety

      What is that quote from?

    • @DaveGIS123
      @DaveGIS123 Před 6 lety +4

      @thebeav, the quote is credited to Abraham Lincoln, but it might have just been an advertising gimmick: historynewsnetwork.org/article/161924

    • @thebeavpercabethftw9604
      @thebeavpercabethftw9604 Před 6 lety +1

      Either way, pretty applicable to the situation. That is something I always wondered. Abraham Lincoln went by Honest Abe, but he was still a politician. He couldn't have always been lie free, right?

    • @dsmith9412
      @dsmith9412 Před 6 lety

      thebeav PercabethFTW Was the phrase “Honest Abe” actually used during his lifetime, or was it applied to him later?

    • @thebeavpercabethftw9604
      @thebeavpercabethftw9604 Před 6 lety

      D Smith. I honestly don't know. No pun intended. That's just something I always heard people call him.

  • @zuwopjohnson781
    @zuwopjohnson781 Před 6 lety +19

    1:50 Notice how the sign doesn't even have room for double digits lol

  • @brindakalmada8966
    @brindakalmada8966 Před 6 lety +47

    I still find it hard to believe that some people trust him.

    • @catt4570
      @catt4570 Před 6 lety +2

      KeKe K And continue to defend him tooth and nail. Calling him "the best we've ever had" still...

  • @tamikoestomo3275
    @tamikoestomo3275 Před 6 lety +66

    It's almost noon here in Indonesia, and I am tremendously enjoying this! Go, go, Stephen, smear Traitor POTUS all over the map. We support you all the way!!

  • @oncoucharrest5910
    @oncoucharrest5910 Před 6 lety +87

    Lordy, there’s tapes!

  • @oncoucharrest5910
    @oncoucharrest5910 Před 6 lety +151

    Just remember don’t believe your ears and eyes....according to Trump

    • @thesoundsmith
      @thesoundsmith Před 6 lety +3

      In some circles, that's called "Sleight-of-hand."
      In Trump world, that's called "Slight-of-hand."
      In some circles, that's called "Illusion."
      In Trump world, that's called "Collusion."

    • @geoffbaumgartner5335
      @geoffbaumgartner5335 Před 6 lety +2

      His final and most essential command?

    • @jasonw7521
      @jasonw7521 Před 6 lety +5

      Hahahaha.... I almost fell of my chair when I heard him say that.

    • @jayzenitram9621
      @jayzenitram9621 Před 6 lety +3

      "Don't believe what you see, cause when you do it looks really bad!"

  • @robertw9677
    @robertw9677 Před 6 lety +97

    Colbert is just wonderful the truth must be very painful for trump supporters

    • @aggressiveattitudeera887
      @aggressiveattitudeera887 Před 6 lety +1

      Why do you think they all come here and talk shit about him? It's all good when Gutfeld or any of those troglodytes say what THEY say though, isn't it?

    • @pmboston
      @pmboston Před 6 lety +12

      They feel no pain, truth goes in one ear and out the other leaving no trace.

    • @marks7192
      @marks7192 Před 6 lety +1

      Unfortunately Mr.Walterman they just don't care.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před 6 lety +2

      It's hard to feel pain when you have no soul.

  • @censusgary
    @censusgary Před 6 lety +123

    C’mon, the White House NEVER needs to change the sign that says “It’s been 0 minutes since our last lie.”

    • @parnmurasake
      @parnmurasake Před 5 lety +6

      He needs to sleep sometimes

    • @Gottenhimfella
      @Gottenhimfella Před 5 lety +4

      @@parnmurasake But even his dreams are a pack o' lies

  • @tipoomaster
    @tipoomaster Před 6 lety +443

    My favorite part is just how Cohen speaks slowly and simply to him, like he's explaining things to a toddler.

    • @karensmith3565
      @karensmith3565 Před 6 lety +3

      tipoomaster....lol

    • @bdogg20101
      @bdogg20101 Před 6 lety +19

      tipoomaster he had to explain it slow to him. He was busy with his coke. Lol
      Just like a 1 year old. I love how his "so call" wannabe attorney is explaining how screwed trumps situation is, and all he is concerned about and can focus is getting a coke.

    • @danieldarabos9381
      @danieldarabos9381 Před 6 lety +12

      He is, a 250lbs one"

    • @mariasoto8600
      @mariasoto8600 Před 6 lety +7

      I noticed that

    • @user-dv8fs6ml5z
      @user-dv8fs6ml5z Před 6 lety +2

      maybe because he was recording it and wanted everything he said made clear on the tape. geez

  • @nadiamahmood5893
    @nadiamahmood5893 Před 6 lety +115

    “would, wouldn’t, who the f*** knows at this point” 😂

    • @slinkeepy
      @slinkeepy Před 6 lety +8

      brilliant ad-lib if it wasn't staged

    • @cardexpert101
      @cardexpert101 Před 6 lety +4

      I don't think it was staged. The mental slip-up also caused him to say "Giuliani se-says" a few seconds later.

    • @slavetothecurb6527
      @slavetothecurb6527 Před 6 lety

      Best save ever 😂😂😂

  • @Tadicuslegion78
    @Tadicuslegion78 Před 6 lety +1171

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to begin sobriety

    • @samuelstensgaard4828
      @samuelstensgaard4828 Před 6 lety +88

      Tadicuslegion78 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

    • @FunkyMonkey-ip4xy
      @FunkyMonkey-ip4xy Před 6 lety +35

      Week? More like four years :)

    • @Myrddnn
      @Myrddnn Před 6 lety +41

      Tadicuslegion78 bad year to try and stop huffing rocket fuel.

    • @chickensdone1
      @chickensdone1 Před 6 lety +22

      Tadicuslegion78 Demi Lovato feels the same way

    • @gixellia8455
      @gixellia8455 Před 6 lety +23

      Tadicuslegion78 - NO, it's the perfect time for you :o)
      LET GO!
      Just go to as many meetings as you can, call your sponsor and and reach out to others. And be grateful. Now :o)

  • @jamesjpak
    @jamesjpak Před 6 lety +82

    Giuliani is doing quite a job trying to out stupid Trump

    • @Justanotherconsumer
      @Justanotherconsumer Před 6 lety +1

      James Pak just trying to make his boss look good.

    • @brittaniejones6807
      @brittaniejones6807 Před 6 lety +2

      At this point I’m convinced that Giuliani isn’t totally sure which side he’s on..

    • @Gottenhimfella
      @Gottenhimfella Před 5 lety +1

      Do Rudi and Donald share the one brain?
      Because if so, I think it might have accidentally ended up on a one way flight to somewhere USPS doesn't do pickups from.

    • @russmartin9549
      @russmartin9549 Před 5 lety

      It's funny I agree. Every time Giuliani gets on TV, Mueller opens 15 more investigations. He needs to shut his cake - eater. But hes too stupid

  • @talariswatts-el9832
    @talariswatts-el9832 Před 6 lety +18

    Thank God we have Stephen Colbert!

    • @zapkvr
      @zapkvr Před 6 lety

      Talaris Watts-El yeah god. Hahahahaha.

  • @thelostpiranha
    @thelostpiranha Před 6 lety +60

    Rudy is the only guy that could make Trump look smart.
    But then again, it was Trump who hired Rudy to be his lawyer.

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 Před 6 lety +4

      S'pose that's why he hired him, he wanted to look smart.
      Oooopsie.

  • @leifharmsen
    @leifharmsen Před 6 lety +51

    The Charleston, it's a dance from the 1920s. You stomp on your toe and rub it into the floor, "like putting out a cigarette". You stomp on it, put it out, and make it go away.

  • @spartankratos12
    @spartankratos12 Před 6 lety +168

    United States of Entertainment

  • @ehnat0502
    @ehnat0502 Před 6 lety +3

    BRILLIANT MONOLOGUE...LOVE COLBERT XXXXXX

  • @kpaterson9717
    @kpaterson9717 Před 6 lety +15

    We have to be thankful for Trumpy, he has given some of the best material for Stephen and Co!

    • @kpaterson9717
      @kpaterson9717 Před 6 lety

      evilcatlady 100% agreed! There is no rock bottom any longer, unfortunately the people have became nose blind with the s#$t stench of Humptys moronic behaviour

  • @KingOfMadCows
    @KingOfMadCows Před 6 lety +42

    $150,000, that must be $10,000 per second. Or was it per millimeter?

  • @kiza4178
    @kiza4178 Před 6 lety +261

    The Pecker...I spit my drink on the screen, you can't make this up!

    • @jeffjohn4690
      @jeffjohn4690 Před 6 lety +2

      karen knapp -

    • @hermitthefrog8951
      @hermitthefrog8951 Před 6 lety +7

      karen knapp - but they did...
      Strzok, Pecker, Weiner... c'mon.

    • @lemoynecastle6213
      @lemoynecastle6213 Před 6 lety +5

      Heard another cable host call him "David Pecker-Head of AMI". He ran the name and title together just like that... lolz

    • @christinemunn6123
      @christinemunn6123 Před 6 lety +4

      probably friends with "Weiner"........

    • @TunTheOfficial
      @TunTheOfficial Před 6 lety +1

      karen knapp lol

  • @jasonw7521
    @jasonw7521 Před 6 lety +346

    Giuliani - "No one is gonna talk about setting up a corporation and using cash, unless you're a complete IDIOT". Hahahahaha. Thank you Mr. Guiliani, the defense rests.

    • @gelmann2
      @gelmann2 Před 6 lety +6

      cash , meaning money on hand vs. taking out a loan ? Karen McDougal is WAYYYYYYY cuter and HOTTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @Laladanso1
      @Laladanso1 Před 6 lety +3

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃😃😃😃😃😃🤗🤗

    • @baleigh5610
      @baleigh5610 Před 6 lety +3

      Took the words right from our mouths.

    • @JudgeDredd_
      @JudgeDredd_ Před 6 lety +1

      One of the worst AG’s ever.

  • @rspainter7896
    @rspainter7896 Před 6 lety +160

    I'm not surprised he asked for a coke, I'm surprised he said please.

    • @ViktorHJ
      @ViktorHJ Před 6 lety +4

      RSPainter Trump is quite well mannered, if you are on his good side, and not asking difficult questions.

  • @Alstroemeria74
    @Alstroemeria74 Před 6 lety +93

    These late night shows almost write themselves now, don't they? :p

  • @Salchipapafied
    @Salchipapafied Před 6 lety +142

    "Don't quote me on that." -- Rudy Giuliani

  • @GrizzleyBruin
    @GrizzleyBruin Před 6 lety +13

    Love the writing on this show! You guys are the best ! ! ! ! !

  • @k07385
    @k07385 Před 6 lety +120

    I absolutely love that they got the tape. IMPEACH HIM. IMPEACH HIM.

    • @maggierezac5820
      @maggierezac5820 Před 6 lety +3

      K 'breaking news', as they always say! Following the taping of this show it was disclosed that it's not just a dozen more tapes, but 100 of them!!
      How did "our" Congressional Body react???
      Drafting Articles of Impeachment for Rod Rosenstein for "High Crimes & Misdemeanors". Welcome back to Earth 2! Peace.

    • @fatherlessfreddy754
      @fatherlessfreddy754 Před 6 lety +3

      K stfu trump is the man... face it

    • @cadeohler4072
      @cadeohler4072 Před 6 lety +1

      Idiot

    • @3finger10
      @3finger10 Před 6 lety

      Trump 2020......

    • @Warpig9
      @Warpig9 Před 6 lety

      K They can’t do shit. Trump 2020 u freaks

  • @TheSmeik
    @TheSmeik Před 6 lety +92

    This is not fun anymore.
    RIP USA

    • @dylanhaugen3739
      @dylanhaugen3739 Před 6 lety +6

      It stopped being fun along time ago my friend. Right around the when the idiot started actually hurting people with his policies.

  • @CornishCreamtea07
    @CornishCreamtea07 Před 6 lety +52

    How do you argue against recorded evidence?
    Can I argue that the Hindenburg did not catch fire and burn up, it just had it's lanterns on as it landed at an odd angle.

    • @aknopf8173
      @aknopf8173 Před 6 lety +10

      It's called *alternative* facts. Easy.

    • @ZoeRaeMusic
      @ZoeRaeMusic Před 6 lety +7

      Idk same way you can say you had the largest inauguration crowd in history when there’s actual evidence that you didn’t

    • @catt4570
      @catt4570 Před 6 lety +1

      Same way you "change history", I guess. Create a "new" one, hen say the other was fake. "Tell people a lie three times and they'll believe it" is his motto, after all.

    • @catt4570
      @catt4570 Před 6 lety

      Joshua Jung True. If he didn't, his cult might start to think it's real! Lol

    • @agekee
      @agekee Před 6 lety +1

      Remember the grab tape it was I didn't say it then it was just locker room talk, a few months later that tape is fake
      And all the vids of him as a political figure from release my taxes to Mexico and the wall to ill never take a vacation or golf like Obama to now "that's not what I said"
      Latest being Helsinki and he didn't say that

  • @lenabickford6440
    @lenabickford6440 Před 6 lety +27

    Sounds like what Trump and Giuliani are really worried about is whether it looks like campaign contributions were used to pay for burying McDougal's story.

  • @MrShoopezino
    @MrShoopezino Před 6 lety +54

    that crazy laughing lady is back in the audience again lol

    • @RadhikaRukmangadhan
      @RadhikaRukmangadhan Před 6 lety +4

      H Damn she is annoying

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Any-body's crazy finding this show good.

    • @teubert2
      @teubert2 Před 6 lety

      @Nobody Special Or have a sense of humor.

    • @PointsofData
      @PointsofData Před 6 lety

      Radhika Rukmangadhan shes having a good time and you don't notice her unless youre listening for her. Chill.

    • @ericd.8054
      @ericd.8054 Před 6 lety

      4:44 like she getting murdered in the background LOL

  • @stefankoelsch788
    @stefankoelsch788 Před 6 lety +141

    Doing the truck driver ...

  • @sluttymctits4496
    @sluttymctits4496 Před 6 lety +35

    I think Cohen's elephants made me laugh the hardest in this video.
    I am not ashamed.

    • @aknopf8173
      @aknopf8173 Před 6 lety +5

      Yes, I loved to be able to laugh at such innocent humor. (In a show that has otherwise been pretty dark, lately)

  • @superiorbeing95
    @superiorbeing95 Před 6 lety +128

    Juliani is 12 sandwiches, 3 meat pies, a 6 pack of Budweisers, 2 apples, a wedge of cheese and a bottle of Pinot short of a picnic!

    • @jacobferrera1777
      @jacobferrera1777 Před 6 lety +3

      Budweiser? People actually drink that crap?

    • @annoyed707
      @annoyed707 Před 6 lety +6

      Don't worry, the blood of the living can sustain the creature.

    • @MsBettyRubble
      @MsBettyRubble Před 6 lety +2

      Superior Being Minus the Bud, that's a lovely picnic!

    • @g0679
      @g0679 Před 6 lety +1

      Superior Being ...Too bad, cuz he has such nice-looking fake choppers.

    • @eve36368
      @eve36368 Před 6 lety

      oh. he's a handbasket.

  • @charanko2971
    @charanko2971 Před 6 lety +20

    Yup! Melania is going to be so happy that he pays with checks. Look sweetie, it was not under the table. We did it over the table multiple times.

    • @RedroomStudios
      @RedroomStudios Před 6 lety

      ha ha! that was one of the best jokes in this monologue and a great point also!

  • @DuranmanX
    @DuranmanX Před 6 lety +9

    Elephants will be even more endangered this November

  • @quimbycub1216
    @quimbycub1216 Před 6 lety +7

    7:15 Pure, accidental, comic genius. This is why we LOVE Stephen Colbert!

  • @marilynjones5749
    @marilynjones5749 Před 6 lety +74

    Trumps needs to pay his taxes. No loop holes. It’s un-American to not pay your taxes while everyone else does.

    • @danieldarabos9381
      @danieldarabos9381 Před 6 lety +9

      All his Cash is going for Bribery

    • @IssytheMiner
      @IssytheMiner Před 6 lety +3

      Especially when your rich

    • @tinybullfrog1955
      @tinybullfrog1955 Před 6 lety +3

      Astral Warrior Calling names, what an effective argument tactic. Any proof for the recording?

    • @astralwarrior2222
      @astralwarrior2222 Před 6 lety

      Andraste Deern I called her what I think she is,you don't like it tough shit.As for the recording it's available on CZcams.Why don't you look it up,shown at a White House briefing, Sarah Sanders was there.Not that I need to Prove anything to you since you're too lazy to get off your ass and look up yourself Liberal.

    • @peggypifer5010
      @peggypifer5010 Před 6 lety

      AMEN ASTRAL WARRIOR SOME MORE DEMOCRATS .
      HAS TO KEEP IT GOING

  • @laydieelle7069
    @laydieelle7069 Před 6 lety +46

    I wouldn't be surprised if Coca Cola sales have already dropped.

  • @etiennecouture1552
    @etiennecouture1552 Před 6 lety +10

    After the Roosevelt Room and the Lincoln Bedroom, Donald Trump says his favourite room in the White House is the Oval Office.
    He thinks that President Oval was a ‘really really great President.’

    • @Excludos
      @Excludos Před 6 lety

      Ethan Kutcher Hey now don't mock president Oval. He didn't add a ton of depth, threw people off of health care, closed the borders, committed genocide on Puerto Rico, committed human rights violations on immigrants, and started a trade war with practically the entire world. MAOA! (Make America Oval Again!)

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Ethan- From the U.K.?

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 6 lety +10

    Fitting that this came out during Shark Week.

  • @Inamichan
    @Inamichan Před 6 lety +57

    I’m upset that we still haven’t seen the pee pee tape. It’s the only thing that makes this craziness worth anything.
    I DEMAND THE PEE PEE TAPE.

    • @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342
      @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 Před 6 lety +4

      I'm sure it's real. He's really upset about it and is making a lot of pathetic attempts to ignore it lol.

    • @Inamichan
      @Inamichan Před 6 lety +4

      Giovanna Greeff I wouldn’t want to watch it! I’d just be thoroughly entertained by the lengths Sarah sanders would try and lie her way around it. Plus the pure embarrassment😂😂

    • @thesoundsmith
      @thesoundsmith Před 6 lety +3

      PEE PEE TAPE!!!
      PEE PEE TAPE!!!
      PEE PEE TAPE!!!
      PEE PEE TAPE!!!
      PEE PEE TAPE!!!
      PEE PEE TAPE!!!...
      LOCK HIM UP!
      LOCK HIM UP!
      LOCK HIM UP!
      LOCK HIM UP!... (If THEY can chant, so can WE...)

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp Před 6 lety +1

      After all the terrible things that happened already, the pee pee tape won't nearly be gross enough to make me gag.

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Obsessed with pee, thats pathetic.

  • @hadtocomment1
    @hadtocomment1 Před 6 lety +10

    This is the clearest I have heard the recording. Weird....and good job

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 Před 6 lety +1

      I think it's played at .75. I tried it a few times the other day, and it is easier to catch details.

  • @MrDeadsr
    @MrDeadsr Před 6 lety +2

    Its hard to believe that Giulianni is an actual lawyer and is actually working for Trump.

  • @masonallen3961
    @masonallen3961 Před 6 lety +16

    Stephen could you please get a shoutout to one Melania Trump. It was revealed today that Trump was upset at Melania for watching CNN so we know she doesn’t watch the same news as her husband. That means there’s a chance she might be watching. Please Help Her. She needs to know that someone cares about her because her husband sure as hell doesn’t.

    • @leanie9660
      @leanie9660 Před 6 lety +1

      Tyler Hill I doubt that Melania watches news programs....

    • @Excludos
      @Excludos Před 6 lety +3

      Tyler Hill She's still with the guy, and has been for a while despite surely knowing what and who he is. I feel no sympathy

  • @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp
    @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp Před 6 lety +377

    Spanked by "Two" magazines! LOL

    • @0123mandatory
      @0123mandatory Před 6 lety +6

      That second magazine costs extra. It's not part of standard service

  • @teresajanecinco3911
    @teresajanecinco3911 Před 6 lety +37

    When all late shows have their own takes on trump-cohen tapes and still you laugh at it everytime....
    And ur not even american 😂😂😂

  • @carolyngrinberg6889
    @carolyngrinberg6889 Před 5 lety +2

    THANK YOU - I've been yelling "Make a Pecker joke!" ever since that name was made public.

  • @carlos64030
    @carlos64030 Před 6 lety +1

    OMG he cracks me up with that 'STORMY WATCH' music and instrument playing bit. LOL!!!

  • @TroyTColeman
    @TroyTColeman Před 6 lety +4

    I love Jon Batise’s reference to Grandmas Hands by Bill Withers at 10:07

  • @lymarie1974
    @lymarie1974 Před 6 lety +33

    My nightly soap opera

  • @ellenjo86324
    @ellenjo86324 Před 6 lety +5

    "It's been ZERO minutes since our last lie."

  • @pschroeter1
    @pschroeter1 Před 6 lety +9

    "If you also take Eric, I'll double the number of oxen."

  • @MTortillaKitt
    @MTortillaKitt Před 6 lety +14

    If I could have one wish...that Mr. Colbert would become president of the USA.

    • @dougballou6108
      @dougballou6108 Před 6 lety

      Armchair President.

    • @MTortillaKitt
      @MTortillaKitt Před 6 lety

      Dave Long because even that would be better than who is in office now. 😎

    • @kristopher9023
      @kristopher9023 Před 5 lety

      Laura Barzano That's funny. He is definitely hilarious but Trump also keeps us laughing and confused and thinking WTF.

    • @russmartin9549
      @russmartin9549 Před 5 lety

      And bill Maher vice

  • @BlackHoleBrew42
    @BlackHoleBrew42 Před 6 lety +11

    The jokes write themselves.

  • @gixellia8455
    @gixellia8455 Před 6 lety +548

    Stephen, you did it again: YOU ARE THE BEST :o)

    • @B38132
      @B38132 Před 6 lety +4

      Stephen for president

    • @kpaterson9717
      @kpaterson9717 Před 6 lety +9

      Kevin Lopez 👏👏👏👏👏 well said mate

    • @kpaterson9717
      @kpaterson9717 Před 6 lety +3

      thomas oconnor O😂😂😂 You are pressed 😂😂😂 just relax Tommy, you'll be alright,!

    • @kpaterson9717
      @kpaterson9717 Před 6 lety +5

      thomas oconnor Malania?? Who is that? Is she related to Melania? Could, couldn't, would, wouldn't.?All the same when you're illiterate!

    • @juancarlosaponte6897
      @juancarlosaponte6897 Před 6 lety +2

      Go Trump mothefuckers 😠
      Stephen Rodent 🐀 is the best piece of horse shit 🐴
      Hahahahahahaha 😆hahahahahahaha , hahahahahahaha

  • @rickycollins7723
    @rickycollins7723 Před 6 lety +214

    People still like trump. After everything, they still like him. Let that sink in.

    • @neilm2794
      @neilm2794 Před 6 lety +44

      When people who aren't very bright form an affiliation they get married to it. That's who Trump's base is. Why would people living in trailer parks and watching Jerry Springer all day be upset about anything their hero says or does?

    • @dsmith9412
      @dsmith9412 Před 6 lety +12

      Dicky Collins not as much as last month, so his nonsense is finally sinking in

    • @bluepuppy1139
      @bluepuppy1139 Před 6 lety +15

      Dicky Collins It is so very hard to believe. It's like they are determined to be blind.

    • @TheGzillaman
      @TheGzillaman Před 6 lety +22

      Dicky Collins no they are just drowning in their own shit and to stupid to admit it that they all fucked up..

    • @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342
      @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 Před 6 lety +18

      Calling them people doesn't feel right. Trumpalumpas is what I call them lol.

  • @DalithaMW
    @DalithaMW Před 6 lety +58

    How do I convince Trump we slept together in the early 2000's, I could use a $130,000

    • @Warpig9
      @Warpig9 Před 6 lety +2

      Dali You have to be a playmate, sorry.

    • @leanie9660
      @leanie9660 Před 6 lety +5

      Dali ....you'd have to be insane, too. You'd never get anyone else to date you...ugh

    • @DalithaMW
      @DalithaMW Před 6 lety +5

      Aileen McMillan already got a girlfriend, and she pays 0 attention to politics

    • @colaboytje
      @colaboytje Před 6 lety +3

      Just say you did. He'll deny it first, then he'll say it was true. He has to lie, it's his compulsion :-)

    • @aodayalnoame1184
      @aodayalnoame1184 Před 6 lety

      Dali ذذ لللسافللللقبغببلرىللغغابليلهلققب

  • @frankblack676
    @frankblack676 Před 6 lety +171

    I don't care about the mans sex life, that's between him and his wife but I love how every week he just gets more and more exposed as a liar; And then other liars come out to defend him and make asses of themselves. As if, we don't have video and audio.

    • @kaybonsu7731
      @kaybonsu7731 Před 6 lety +1

      Well said

    • @kykiske4711
      @kykiske4711 Před 6 lety +1

      that's between him and his wife, and his mistress, and his mistress*

    • @nikkishun1891
      @nikkishun1891 Před 6 lety

      Frank Black you are not a true Republican!!!!

    • @jessicazayac4195
      @jessicazayac4195 Před 6 lety

      But republicans went batshit when Clinton had an affair with his wife. Hmmm that’s stupid. It’s okay when trump does things when if any other president did or did anything close to it they would have been impeached before they even tried to cover it up.

  • @johanjoseph4802
    @johanjoseph4802 Před 6 lety +29

    Oh man. Last Week Tonight is gonna be awesome this week👌👌👌😂😂😂

    • @mathieuo3968
      @mathieuo3968 Před 6 lety +7

      They're gonna need to change the title to Last Month Tonight to catch up with everything that's happened

    • @astralwarrior2222
      @astralwarrior2222 Před 6 lety

      Johan Joseph Is that what you look forward to each week Stephen Colbert.You don't have much of a life do you.

    • @johanjoseph4802
      @johanjoseph4802 Před 6 lety

      Astral Warrior Stephen Colbert's Show is a Late Night Show. I was referring to Last Week Tonight which airs Sunday nights on HBO. My life on the other hand... I'm studying Engineering. So I have a lot if time in my life until I graduate 😂

  • @garysinnott340
    @garysinnott340 Před 6 lety +132

    Trump *isn't* a _complete_ idiot.
    Some parts are missing.

    • @garysinnott340
      @garysinnott340 Před 6 lety +4

      Keith Jackson - I do try.
      _Sorry_ - I've been corrected. Apparently I'm very trying.

    • @aggressiveattitudeera887
      @aggressiveattitudeera887 Před 6 lety +8

      You're not trying hard enough,+Gary Sinnott (Angeret).
      No angry Trump College Graduates throwing shade on your comment yet.

    • @garysinnott340
      @garysinnott340 Před 6 lety +6

      I know, it's terrible innit? Mind you, there was this one dipstick on another video trying to assert something which had nothing to do with the video (a Don Lemon piece) and I'm still waiting for him to tell me my facts are wrong. Maybe all the Russian trolls are in a meeting, trying to decide whether to just grief me or make my front door handle sticky...

    • @wintercomesearly
      @wintercomesearly Před 6 lety +4

      In a meeting, LOL!

    • @elainebrooksbank5281
      @elainebrooksbank5281 Před 6 lety +2

      Gary Sinnott thanks for that - there are times when, on the brink of certain disaster, you just need a laugh.

  • @susanneslizynski5150
    @susanneslizynski5150 Před 6 lety +13

    I so love you Stephen❤️❤️❤️

  • @YouTubeUtah
    @YouTubeUtah Před 6 lety +5

    Thank you for the business advice! I just learned so much about setting up my corporation.

  • @1985malibuexpress
    @1985malibuexpress Před 6 lety +14

    I absolutely love this silly bastard!

  • @Drecon84
    @Drecon84 Před 6 lety +52

    Eric jokes will never get old.

    • @danieldarabos9381
      @danieldarabos9381 Před 6 lety

      His Father is"""

    • @Syclone0044
      @Syclone0044 Před 6 lety

      Honestly I think they were dead on arrival. Eric seems like the least guilty of all of them. I can't name one particular scandal he's involved with. Regardless I don't think it's cool to mock someone for their looks or having less fame than their siblings or whatever prompted this Eric targeting that Stephen, Seth Meyers, and others continue to engage in. Mock them on things they can change like their behavior, not things they can't like their appearance.

  • @stevenewart3873
    @stevenewart3873 Před 6 lety +194

    It's going to be boring when trump is finally impeached.

  • @aditidurgapal
    @aditidurgapal Před 6 lety +17

    Why are Trump's lawyers Soooo bad

    • @aknopf8173
      @aknopf8173 Před 6 lety +5

      Apperantly, when he was looking for new lawyers, all the good ones where too busy. I wish I was joking but that was their excuse.

    • @stargateorion1912
      @stargateorion1912 Před 6 lety +2

      Either they meet at an hospice for fools or they hate him

  • @mysunnybird
    @mysunnybird Před 6 lety +3

    Stephen Colbert is a MASTER for making every video so wonderfully funny, even though the real story is so depressing.

  • @RobbieBackpacking
    @RobbieBackpacking Před 6 lety +595

    "Don't quote me on that. Do you know you're on live TV?" I know right! Trump puts his foot in his mouth and wants the news to act like he just painted the Mona Lisa.

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp Před 6 lety +26

      Pardon me, sir! I say pardon me! The person to make that "don't quote me" gaff was NOT the honourable sitting president of this great country! I demand that you retract your statement insulting the intelligence of the same man who knows for a fact that Puerto Rico is surrounded by ocean water.
      Thank you, and good day sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!

    • @maggierezac5820
      @maggierezac5820 Před 6 lety +15

      borot man, thank you for the Foghorn Leghorn memories! Peace!

    • @retnavybrat
      @retnavybrat Před 6 lety +13

      +borot man True story! A friend of mine was telling this girl we worked with about his plans to visit his family in Puerto Rico and she asked him if he was going to take a train to get there.

    • @realunitedstatesrepublic3005
      @realunitedstatesrepublic3005 Před 6 lety

      Robbie stupid

    • @TheBoru2011
      @TheBoru2011 Před 6 lety

      we all know moaning Hillary painted the Mona Lisa. Was Mona on Bill's shag list ...

  • @light4dark516
    @light4dark516 Před 6 lety +16

    Hey, anybody want a smoothie?
    (Loud blender noise) lol!

  • @TheMyrmo
    @TheMyrmo Před 6 lety +9

    How well Stephen knows my grandmother.

  • @markgigiel2722
    @markgigiel2722 Před 6 lety +7

    Giuliani is pure gold.

  • @extrams0
    @extrams0 Před 6 lety +2

    That would/wound't comment was either the smoothest joke ever, or the most fantastic slip-up ever

  • @gc3193
    @gc3193 Před 6 lety +8

    Google's showing me Doritos ads on a Trump video. Seems about right. 😂

  • @oncoucharrest5910
    @oncoucharrest5910 Před 6 lety +7

    Could someone get me a coke please...at least he said please, I’m surprised!

  • @omarthekight2
    @omarthekight2 Před 6 lety +11

    They missed out on having the Nixon tape promote Charlston Chew like in futurama

    • @dmsdana4501
      @dmsdana4501 Před 6 lety +4

      Omar Martinez YES!!!😂

    • @PointsofData
      @PointsofData Před 6 lety

      Omar Martinez and Stephen calls himself a nerd. Shame!

  • @calebray2531
    @calebray2531 Před 6 lety +76

    1 Russian dislikes this video.

  • @viswanath1788
    @viswanath1788 Před 6 lety +1

    We watch you Stephen whether in US or in India. Every single episode. You are the best .My whole family live you.FANS FROM INDIA.

  • @mj7087
    @mj7087 Před 6 lety +9

    Trump's never going to get anyone to agree to anything if he keeps trying to throw Eric into the deals

  • @brandondiggins7090
    @brandondiggins7090 Před 6 lety +9

    i wish steven would write a good sitcom... strangers with candy was amazing

    • @thesoundsmith
      @thesoundsmith Před 6 lety

      He is part of the Showtime Cartoon President show - which I only see clips on YT...

  • @TheHua89
    @TheHua89 Před 6 lety +57

    Somebody cancel the Donald Trump show ...

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Somebody please pull the plug on this sad show.

    • @danieldarabos9381
      @danieldarabos9381 Před 6 lety +1

      And the View please!

    • @0224DJRick
      @0224DJRick Před 6 lety +3

      Nobody Special For god sake don't be ridiculous if this Show is sad Why are you watching it Why are you even commenting? smh you are not too smart aren't you ?

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Dr. Richard M Why are you watching this show? It's the same old nonsense. Besides I just comment, I don't watch or listen. I like to type my two-cents. The "sad" thing is people can't get over the fact Donald Trump is the president of the U.S.A. Let it go already. Nothing will change, like with every other administration. The media rips Trump apart, and it's "sad"

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Daniel Darabos Yes, that needs to go also, why are those women so miserable. And Whoopi? If she smokes weed, well she needs too smoke more. It's not helping her open her mind. Or chill her out.

  • @JJ-kl7eq
    @JJ-kl7eq Před 6 lety +1096

    Looks like the trade war is going to hit us where it really counts. The cost of porn is just going to keep going up.

    • @Taidower
      @Taidower Před 6 lety +51

      Who pays for porn?

    • @Whiltshire_Staysharp
      @Whiltshire_Staysharp Před 6 lety +27

      Steven Chen, we are talking trade for silence 😂

    • @patriciabennett6381
      @patriciabennett6381 Před 6 lety +1

      Yeah job

    • @aanon4019
      @aanon4019 Před 6 lety +20

      Steven Chen
      For what it's worth, just by skimming the article you linked:
      "Considering how bellicose Trump was when he said ‘tariffs are great.’ I think this was the best outcome you could have hoped for,”
      "Juncker's visit was a bright spot in the increasingly gloomy outlook for U.S.-European relations that have been frayed by Trump's trade wars, his fondness for Russian President Vladimir Putin and his skepticism of multilateral institutions like NATO and the European Union."
      So while the extent to which he is pursuing a trade war / tariff is decreasing, I think it's also somewhar clear that he is the one who steered us towards one in the first place
      Of course that's not to say that brinksmanship can't get results in the short term -- I'm just pointing out that it's hard to argue that Trump is all that anti trade war / tariff

    • @aanon4019
      @aanon4019 Před 6 lety +2

      Tho I guess it's fair to argue that the trade war won't keep escalating to the point where it'll affcet porn lol

  • @tyronjohnson78
    @tyronjohnson78 Před 6 lety

    He says, "No, pay with cash." Pretty clear to hear and makes sense given the conversation.

  • @lorinichols1847
    @lorinichols1847 Před 6 lety +1

    Would/wouldn't -- notice how quickly Stephen was able to figure that out and correct it?

  • @Hooyahfish
    @Hooyahfish Před 6 lety +64

    My new hobby is going into the comments on the fox youtube channel. It is like watching a car fire...
    Full of seagulls.

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp Před 6 lety +6

      If you can entertain yourself from a safe distance, I won't stop you. Just don't get burned in the process.

    • @michaedove3562
      @michaedove3562 Před 6 lety +7

      I've done the same. When people ask: Who in their right mind still support Trump, I'm like A LOT. There are a lot of dumb people who allow themselves to get told what to think.

    • @mrs.lauren7726
      @mrs.lauren7726 Před 6 lety +4

      Oh I would never do that. This depresses me just enough, to still have the will to continue

    • @dylandog2296
      @dylandog2296 Před 6 lety +2

      Paul Lomax I so enjoy going into a Trump supporters channel after reading their idiotic comment. Red Pill videos, Trump Fan Network, "Too fart too furious" Lmao. Bet you think you're a strong little alpha male dontcha? XD

    • @philthycoder
      @philthycoder Před 6 lety +1

      Dylan, stop, you know it's not nice to poke fun at the disabled

  • @sailorgillan
    @sailorgillan Před 6 lety +11

    shout out to the middle-aged lady howling at everything lol

  • @arohyadav33
    @arohyadav33 Před 6 lety +471

    Its about time Trump resigns

    • @Excludos
      @Excludos Před 6 lety +35

      Aroh Rl_9 With his ego? No chance. This needs impeachment, which with the current morally corrupt GoP isn't going to happen. Blue needs to win hard at this next election for anything to happen.

    • @geoffbaumgartner5335
      @geoffbaumgartner5335 Před 6 lety +2

      When even evil ice queen Ingraham looks like she's struggling to follow Giuliani..

    • @Cristiano-ronaldo-0750
      @Cristiano-ronaldo-0750 Před 6 lety

      Aroh Rl_9 hell nooooooo! This shit is funny. Lmfao.

    • @dsugioaga
      @dsugioaga Před 6 lety +14

      The problem is Pence is a complete wacko, too. Not to mention that asshat Bolton and numerous other people in the current administration. Our only hope is to vote the morally bankrupt GOP out of power.. and that takes time.

    • @hitreset0291
      @hitreset0291 Před 6 lety +1

      Aroh Rl_9 don't you mean re-signs his autograph on this once-in-a-lifetime collection of genuine, authentic pee-pee tapes. Only $49.95 if you order within the next 30 minutes. HURRY!!

  • @kombinatsiya6000
    @kombinatsiya6000 Před 6 lety +1

    I just knew Stephen would throw in Eric in that bartering joke xD

  • @kenek629
    @kenek629 Před 2 lety +2

    I just don't understand how a man with NUMEROUS scandals that have countless amounts of evidence, witnesses, testimonies etc was still able to complete his full term as president??? Even tried to run for a second one? How is this actually a thing that happened???

  • @paulmanson253
    @paulmanson253 Před 6 lety +22

    What is Stephen Colbert going to do when another president eventually gets elected ? All very well to say that any publicity is better than no publicity. But the storm that occurred when Nixon said "I'm not a crook" . Never in my wildest dreams did I expect the juicy,endless,daily items from day one of the Trump presidency. And Rudy Giuliani. A caricature of a man. I am so sorry for the decent American citizens I have known. Bone decent people you are happy to have as neighbours. How could it become like this ? The mind boggles.

    • @TheLastHylianTitan
      @TheLastHylianTitan Před 6 lety

      paul manson where you from? What’s it like watching this madness unfold from the outside?

    • @thesoundsmith
      @thesoundsmith Před 6 lety +2

      Long-term strategy which had little to do with Trump, or even someone like him. He just happened to be in the right place etc. In the seventies, when students shut down the Viet Nam War, it cost the American War machine BILLIONS. Shortly after the shouting stopped, I heard a speech on FM radio - cannot tell you when ('69-'72), who (a Republican) or why (tuned in in the middle, left before the end.) He called for a serious reduction in funding for education, students were learning too much and being all uppity, demanding their betters stop making war against the evils of (shudder0 Communism" and letting the Red Menace and the Yellow Peril overrun the Red White and Blue. Especially the White.
      And since that time, funding for Public Education has basically disappeared. Teachers are among the worst paid public employees; often the maintenance workers make more sweeping the room that the teacher, who still has to use her salary to pay for things like pencils and paper.
      So kids learn two things 1: Very little, and 2: Education is not important.
      Fast forward to a regime that doubles down on the GOP/Corporate insistence that science is fake, and now fold in the media, the law and world opinion. ALL of them - and us - and ME - are in a global conspiracy to destroy Donald Trump.
      Well, at least he is right about ME. That is one FACT he got right...

    • @shojinryori
      @shojinryori Před 6 lety +2

      It’s all cyclical. Vote in crazy guy - vote in reasonable guy - vote for a crazy again. I don’t think we need to worry that Stephen will run out of material, unfortunately.

    • @paulmanson253
      @paulmanson253 Před 6 lety +4

      TheLastHylianTitan Well I am not entirely outside. I have US citizen kinfolk on both coasts. My mother's brother is a naturalized,and a right wing Republican,a hypocrite who treated two of his 5 children abominably,and a nasty piece of business. My NY kinfolk are bone decent people. They do not deserve this. Hard working folk all their lives,they just want decency in and out of their lives. Deserve it too. This is just not right. I am too young for the Senator Joseph McCarthy years,he never caught one Communist but he sure ruined a lot of lives. What is going on that a compulsive liar and con man is in the same office as FDR ? The Republican party has covered itself with shame too many times for this to be survivable as is.
      It hurts me to watch this. This is despicable. The US Constitution was written because Thomas Jefferson knew history. And people. Learn Constitutional law and the commentary over your 2 centuries of pride and war. You have so much to be rightly proud of. But not this. Funny it is. Hurtful and sad it is. You deserve better.

    • @chatoyerhuggins2894
      @chatoyerhuggins2894 Před 6 lety +1

      He has been on air saying something to the likes of if he goes out of business and Trump goes too he'd do it. Plus Stephen is also an actor and voice actor, so he probably would be fine finding work. May not be this show though, or maybe other stories will be enough to keep it afloat, just not at the lucrative rates it had before.

  • @mymindistellingmenobutmycu5109

    There always seems to be a tape with Don Don.

  • @andynewzealand
    @andynewzealand Před 6 lety +5

    "Charleston thing"?? - never took trump for cutting a rug with a flapper... wearing one - yes, but he ain't no dancer, at least not without the help of a golf cart!

  • @couragekarnga8735
    @couragekarnga8735 Před 6 lety

    I don't think I've ever seen Stephen so happy, bless him.

  • @johnny2873
    @johnny2873 Před 6 lety +1

    7:11 Its so funny how well Stephen handles slip-ups