Rudy Giuliani: 'I Don't Even Really Look At Porn'

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  • čas přidán 20. 05. 2024
  • "I don't even really look at porn." -the legal counsel for the President of the United States.
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Komentáře • 2K

  • @codycrossman
    @codycrossman Před 6 lety +255

    The fact that people can stand Trump's lies and constant boasting is totally beyond me.

    • @rascallyrabbit717
      @rascallyrabbit717 Před 6 lety +1

      Zombie Revolverheld that's entertainment

    • @biancaa1019
      @biancaa1019 Před 6 lety +7

      Exactly!!! Smhhhh

    • @dafttool
      @dafttool Před 6 lety +12

      Zombie Revolverheld It’s official; some 40% of the population actually are deplorable.

    • @bacvain
      @bacvain Před 6 lety +7

      Zombie Revolverheld I swear I have to believe this the biggest prank in American history and I’m hoping it will end aoon

    • @codycrossman
      @codycrossman Před 6 lety +4

      bacvain
      You're not alone in that sentiment, and I'm Canadian. Lol

  • @anonymousXYZ659
    @anonymousXYZ659 Před 6 lety +286

    Atleast stormy daniels can speak a complete and coherent sentence that isn't full of lies.

    • @annihilator45
      @annihilator45 Před 6 lety +1

      anonymous or plagiarism !

    • @tweetybird59
      @tweetybird59 Před 6 lety +2

      Well said!!!

    • @nobodyspecial9738
      @nobodyspecial9738 Před 6 lety

      Every-thing that comes out of Stormy's mouth is a lie.

    • @tejinderchahal1838
      @tejinderchahal1838 Před 5 lety +9

      @@nobodyspecial9738 what does Stormy Daniels have to lose? nothing that's what. But Trump has everything and I mean EVERYTHING to lose since he is the U.S. President and owns Trump International Hotels, the Taj Mahal Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey and his precious Trump Golf Clubs. And you say that he isn't a liar when he makes a habit out of it whether it is at his rallies or in the White House or even when he has been going overseas meeting with foreign leaders.

    • @antonbrakhage490
      @antonbrakhage490 Před 5 lety +3

      Stormy would make a better President than Trump. And probably a better legal council to the President than Guiliani.

  • @censusgary
    @censusgary Před 6 lety +15

    If I’m ever accused of something, please, please, please don’t let Rudolph Giuliani defend me. Please.

  • @brianbrush5107
    @brianbrush5107 Před 6 lety +275

    only a trump lawyer would bring up the guy has 3 wives as proof of him being faithful

    • @squamishfish
      @squamishfish Před 6 lety +12

      that is because Trumps lawyer was also Faith full to his mistress who just happened to be on his payroll

    • @brianbrush5107
      @brianbrush5107 Před 6 lety +2

      squamishfish well that's logical

    • @critter2
      @critter2 Před 6 lety +4

      he forgot to mention how the divocred is a sin with Christianity

    • @timparker8958
      @timparker8958 Před 6 lety

      Mo b j

    • @hendelar
      @hendelar Před 6 lety

      Good catch.

  • @quester09
    @quester09 Před 6 lety +1452

    Porn doesn't really look at him either

  • @melissashy
    @melissashy Před 6 lety +425

    Does anybody else read Trumps tweets in the same voice as Stephen Colbert?? I do. Every.Single.Time... 😂

    • @priscillajimenez27
      @priscillajimenez27 Před 6 lety +12

      And Trevor Noah's voice too lol
      Seth Meyers and Jimmy are okay

    • @katc7550
      @katc7550 Před 6 lety +29

      I now do Stephen Cobert voice imitating Trump “dot dot dot, dot dot” 🤣

    • @telectronix1368
      @telectronix1368 Před 6 lety +7

      'It's just more FAKE NEWS from the lying media dot dot dotdotdot Sad'

    • @melissashy
      @melissashy Před 6 lety +1

      T Electronix why are you watching this show???

    • @telectronix1368
      @telectronix1368 Před 6 lety

      Melissa Shy Why wouldn't I?

  • @baronobeefdip2
    @baronobeefdip2 Před 6 lety +49

    Avenatti and the Mooch sounds like a 70s buddy cop show!!

    • @genghiskhan9269
      @genghiskhan9269 Před 6 lety +2

      Joshua Lopez a couple of NYPD detectives on the take

  • @VTRDC27
    @VTRDC27 Před 6 lety +87

    "Look at his 3 wives!" Yeah, he'd never sleep with another woman besides his wife... I mean his second wife, wait no... third wife?

  • @official3ird
    @official3ird Před 6 lety +247

    Giuliani just keeps digging that hole deeper for Trump smh

    • @Chas-OTE
      @Chas-OTE Před 6 lety +8

      Vyce Vursa Nah man. He's filling up the hole that Trump dug with swamp water so the shit at the bottom can finally come bubbling up the surface

    • @official3ird
      @official3ird Před 6 lety +7

      Where are our darkest timeline goatees?
      Essentially. I'm just in total shock that this guy is still representing Trump on TV. Trump might be more inept than I thought...

    • @BluntforceJ
      @BluntforceJ Před 6 lety +2

      *insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn gif*

    • @official3ird
      @official3ird Před 6 lety

      Courage Karnga that's one way to see it but then Pence becomes president 🤮🤮

    • @TunTheOfficial
      @TunTheOfficial Před 6 lety +2

      Vyce Vursa i like your beard. 😃🎉

  • @guiyomelangloiz2483
    @guiyomelangloiz2483 Před 6 lety +460

    Rudy the drag queen who married his cousin shouldn't judge anyone

    • @enyo0047
      @enyo0047 Před 6 lety +5

      guillaume langlois really 😮

    • @enyo0047
      @enyo0047 Před 6 lety +3

      guillaume langlois eww lol

    • @alexoelkers2292
      @alexoelkers2292 Před 6 lety +11

      Samantha Fred well he's not really a drag queen but he did marry a cousin

    • @guiyomelangloiz2483
      @guiyomelangloiz2483 Před 6 lety +15

      I saw him dressed in drag queen and he seemed to enjoy it a lot

    • @josearturogarza5114
      @josearturogarza5114 Před 6 lety +11

      guillaume langlois worst porn movies ever! Rudy being motor boated by Trump.And Rudy as Mrs. Silvestri in SNL. Thanksgiving show.1st one Rudy squirts... perfume on self.. I think movie called *Scent of a Woman??* 2nd Rita Delvecchio's Thanksgiving or Stuff My Shells.

  • @xy6845
    @xy6845 Před 6 lety +382

    "I think i'm very well prepared. I don't think i have to prepare very much." Donald John Trump
    Let that sink in for a minute, America. Just let that sink in a bit.

    • @Lanse1984
      @Lanse1984 Před 6 lety +16

      I am so happy that I am not american.

    • @DrakonIL
      @DrakonIL Před 6 lety +5

      It's Dunning-Kruger in full view.

    • @practicalwerewolf
      @practicalwerewolf Před 6 lety +12

      X Y, Exactly. The mass complacency happening in the United States is disgustingly frightening.

    • @HughJorgan1
      @HughJorgan1 Před 6 lety

      XY...it's called confidence. Trump knows the country's doing great in all the areas that matter (i.e national security, foreign policy, economy, corporate investment, jobs, etc). He's keeping all the promises that got him (and the Republicans) elected
      And he knows many people are terrified at a regression back to Liberal/Democrat policies and actions. And everyone should ask themselves if they can imagine a walking political-cliche like Bernie Sanders leading the country.

    • @tonymak9213
      @tonymak9213 Před 6 lety +1

      Yeah, he's bright enough to see how things work, and if not, he can just bluff his way through. FFS.

  • @divinecommerce6760
    @divinecommerce6760 Před 6 lety +63

    Glad to see he takes his job as President seriously... I'm a medical student and my patients will be grateful I actually prepare and don't just rely on "attitude" for trauma surgery 👍😂

  • @GenevieveThornton
    @GenevieveThornton Před 6 lety +895

    “Beautiful Women, classy women, women of great substance” um, Melania was posing nude, she and stormy have _some_ things in common.

    • @7gdnz
      @7gdnz Před 6 lety +94

      Genevieve and she did some work here while she didn’t have a work visa, I don’t recall Stormy having done that

    • @StrigidaeStrigiformes-sv6mj
      @StrigidaeStrigiformes-sv6mj Před 6 lety +27

      Ooooo. Burn.

    • @maaiker2977
      @maaiker2977 Před 6 lety +91

      Genevieve Yeah lets look at his wives. Eastern European women without ethics or class that would do anything for money. Trump clearly has a thing for eastern European women. So the whole russian whore pee thing is also in line with trump wanting stormy to spank him. Or the playmate thing...do we really need to continue. And his current wife stays with him after she hears he cheated on her several times...and with a pornstar without a condom while she just gave birth. He treats her like crap. But apparently Melania has no problem staying with a man who harms her spirit and her health....yeah thats not love...thats I'll do anything for money.

    • @Leena-zh4lj
      @Leena-zh4lj Před 6 lety +39

      Maaike R exactly!! Stormy at least didn't sell her freedom and spirit but melons sell everything for MONEY. It's cheap than slavery. There's no self respect, actually these husband, wife are so perfect match for each other.

    • @juddjohnson5200
      @juddjohnson5200 Před 6 lety +33

      Marla Maples what just a gold digging skank...and she was the smartest one.
      Melanoma is just another arguably pretty woman who married a rich old fat guy hoping for a payout. She never saw this dumpster fire coming.

  • @sours4g181
    @sours4g181 Před 6 lety +217

    Trump is a disgrace to what our country once was but so is government as a whole nowadays. We need reform. We need change. Get the money out of politics and back into the working classes pockets. Greed has taken over.

    • @pekinobo
      @pekinobo Před 6 lety +5

      @SOUR S¤G
      You Are welcome.
      Keep telling it like it is.

    • @sours4g181
      @sours4g181 Před 6 lety +10

      thepsychologistvjdj very intelligent 👏 do you know your history? Republicans used to be for the working class. You have nothing to add to the conversation do you? You believe out country is in a good place right now? I honestly would hate to see what it would take for it to be bad to you. Here I'll help you... some people say the country is bad I didn't but some very smart people say things Sad very sad... ...time to make America great again.

    • @Endlessvoidsutidos
      @Endlessvoidsutidos Před 6 lety +2

      couldn't agree more you know England doesn't even allow campaign add's on tv and has like a 30,000$ limit on campaign marketing

    • @sours4g181
      @sours4g181 Před 6 lety +1

      Endless Void Studios right money brings dishonest people to the table

    • @jrasicmark1
      @jrasicmark1 Před 6 lety +1

      That's because Republicans control everything now. They're the ones who said corporations are people. So it's not all of government, just the Republicans that control everything.

  • @randyjax09
    @randyjax09 Před 6 lety +94

    Oh Rudy...Liar liar pants on fire.👖🔥

  • @kristentindle6258
    @kristentindle6258 Před 6 lety +14

    OMG! Stephen Colbert You Rock My World! Absolutely brilliant calling out on Giuliani! I laughed out loud so hard! I wish I could come see you tape a live show! Keep up the great work! America needs your comedy relief! The truth is out there and you're it!

  • @acopernic
    @acopernic Před 6 lety +763

    Despicable Giuliani. Hope Avenatti will sue him.

    • @Libbyerality
      @Libbyerality Před 6 lety +16

      Totally agree.

    • @websterwu8196
      @websterwu8196 Před 6 lety +6

      Yeah, take no prisoner Avenatti will not let this weasal go.

    • @MD-vs9ff
      @MD-vs9ff Před 6 lety +1

      Andre Cabezas
      Unfortunately, you can't sue over insults. They are protected opinions.

    • @dawgzofwar6674
      @dawgzofwar6674 Před 6 lety +2

      Andre Cabezas but not until after the case against Trump is over because if Avenatti starts another case right now in the middle of the Trump case it's only going to serve to distract from the case against Trump especially in the media

    • @dawgzofwar6674
      @dawgzofwar6674 Před 6 lety +1

      Jennifer Erickson ROFLMAO

  • @jimsvideos7201
    @jimsvideos7201 Před 6 lety +895

    "After a Stormy", nice.

  • @landofmarkland
    @landofmarkland Před 6 lety +3

    He KILLS me with the "Stormy Watch" lol. LOVE IT! the music... the expressions. LOL

  • @kindsprit4039
    @kindsprit4039 Před 4 lety +4

    I don’t know how Stephen gets away with the perfect 👌 cutdowns on “Public tv” but it’s 🎼Freakin awesome!😎🤣🎼you rock Stephen!!

  • @JoeSrok
    @JoeSrok Před 6 lety +52

    'I mean, look at his three wives, right?'
    Why on earth did Donald think putting Rudy as his front man would be a good idea?

    • @brianbrush5107
      @brianbrush5107 Před 6 lety +6

      Joe Srok the fact that he's donald trump

    • @lumen8341
      @lumen8341 Před 6 lety +5

      I facepalmed so frickin' hard. He doesn't even hear how gross it sounds. To him he's thinking "see, he has THREE classy wives! that's better than one! he's the man!" it's fucking sad.

    • @memoryhero
      @memoryhero Před 6 lety +12

      Fucking word. When you cite someone's THREE wives as evidence of his moral rectitude, you're lost in the story of your own bullshit.

    • @threedragonstalk2123
      @threedragonstalk2123 Před 6 lety +2

      It's just a theory of mine but I think Donald Trump may not actually be a very smart man

    • @floobuscanoobus
      @floobuscanoobus Před 6 lety +1

      You can't make this stuff up, folks...

  • @user-zo2rn1ct6i
    @user-zo2rn1ct6i Před 6 lety +34

    This administration should get an award on making the most ridiculous daily news. Are there sane people in this administration and state capital? It's not even daily, it's more like hourly. Pruitt messing up, Trump whinning, Giuliani talking like a drunk, Sara lying, Kellyanne distracting, everyone leaking, etc. How do you go to a negotiation without adequate preparation? Does he know he's like "the president"?

  • @Gh0st_0723
    @Gh0st_0723 Před 6 lety +25

    Stephen is such a national treasure.

  • @mariaelenaarata303
    @mariaelenaarata303 Před 6 lety +45

    Colbert at his finest

    • @buhshmuh
      @buhshmuh Před 6 lety

      Maria Elena Arata he really did nail this particular episode

  • @mdudegamer
    @mdudegamer Před 6 lety +145

    Oh, Stephen, you do more than just show up for work. You earn your applause!

  • @KesselRunner606
    @KesselRunner606 Před 6 lety +56

    I don't watch porn.
    I just dress in drag, marry my cousin, and have multiple affairs.
    Y'know, good old traditional family values stuff.

  • @Guillermo12339
    @Guillermo12339 Před 6 lety +13

    "Phantom of the Flat Screen"__PRICELESS !

  • @hellmouthisnogod8492
    @hellmouthisnogod8492 Před 6 lety +45

    Hm .... selling her body makes a woman a what??
    I doubt that Melania and Trump's earlier wives had any other reason to marry Trump than for money. What does it make them?
    "Classy" ?

    • @Celisar1
      @Celisar1 Před 4 lety

      Hellmouth Isnogod
      So, every woman marrying a rich man and every man marrying a rich woman automatically has to be a gold digger?
      Meaning no one can love a rich person?

  • @sarielever986
    @sarielever986 Před 6 lety +32

    Wait, Avenatti AND Scaramucci? Imma need some popcorn for that one lmao...

  • @bananapeeler8797
    @bananapeeler8797 Před 6 lety +91

    Melina disappeared after Stormy. Ouch !!

  • @DiegoPujolT
    @DiegoPujolT Před 6 lety +74

    I bet it has never been easier in history to make this and other comedy shows... Yet the writers continue to surpass themselves every week.

    • @apokatastasian2831
      @apokatastasian2831 Před 6 lety +1

      Diego Pujol yes the unforgettable 2108 low hanging fruit participation awards will be triumphal this year........

  • @potcolegend1
    @potcolegend1 Před 6 lety +118

    Giuliani might actually be stupider than Donald Trump

    • @genghiskhan9269
      @genghiskhan9269 Před 6 lety +5

      potcolegend1 Nobody who has ever lived could be more stupid than Donald the JOHN Trump

    • @MsBettyRubble
      @MsBettyRubble Před 6 lety +1

      Genghis Khan Thanks for using the proper grammatical phrase.

    • @genghiskhan9269
      @genghiskhan9269 Před 6 lety

      MsBettyR. A SKANK IS LECTURING A GENIUS ON GRAMMAR LOL

    • @almagirimai8931
      @almagirimai8931 Před 6 lety

      Imagine if he'd got the Secretary of State job, like he wanted?

    • @alirezaderazgisoo9214
      @alirezaderazgisoo9214 Před 5 lety

      Fun fact he only hires less intelligent people than him

  • @karenjohnston2844
    @karenjohnston2844 Před 6 lety +69

    I thought he was going to add the statement from Melania where she takes Guiliani down a peg. The statement from her aide says something like 'Mrs. Trump has certainly never spoken to Guiliani about the affair and he should not assert that he has.'
    Wondering if Melania is trying to keep the facts straight for the divorce and asset split?

    • @mattpyson6181
      @mattpyson6181 Před 6 lety +2

      The sad part is that Melania probably had to sign a prenuptial agreement with Trump, so that if she walks away she winds up with nothing more than she started with. Maybe she’ll get some Child Support in the settlement, at least.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse Před 6 lety +4

      Karen Johnston -- The actual statement was briefer and more sweeping than that. Melania's communications director said, "I don't believe Mrs. Trump has ever discussed her thoughts on anything with Mr. Giuliani."

    • @CCCC-rw9hx
      @CCCC-rw9hx Před 6 lety +5

      Matt Pyson I think so too. She prob married him thinking she would be a widow by now. I think there's some clause that SHE can't start any divorce proceedings. I hope she's finagled all the money from the chinless wonders that are his spawn.

    • @dday9433
      @dday9433 Před 6 lety +3

      I'm just assuming that she agreed to an "open" marriage with that POS. She knew going in what he is/was. She is his 3rd wife, after all.

    • @maggierezac5820
      @maggierezac5820 Před 6 lety +2

      Dy Dayton, remember tho, this is the same pResident who has demanded his staff all sign NDAs! Of COURSE there's a pre-nup. As for those who call her a 'gold digger' & knowing what she was getting into, I don't know. She was from Slovenia & with that cultural difference, and the fact that she did not become a US Citizen until the year after their marriage makes me wonder... that's all.

  • @rgwak
    @rgwak Před 6 lety +17

    Dude can't even remember the words to God Bless America, and now he's going to negotiate an arms deal with an insane despot.
    What could possibly go wrong?

    • @hellsingmongrel
      @hellsingmongrel Před 6 lety +2

      Ro G Are you talking about Kim Jong Un or von Clownstick? 😉

    • @rgwak
      @rgwak Před 6 lety

      hellsing - well played, my friend!

  • @mlghelp2day
    @mlghelp2day Před 6 lety +3

    Lmfao! Stephen you are the best! You are spot on! Love the facial expressions......"Boooliani' and the stormy dance....Drumpfs voice! 😅🤣😅🤣

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 Před 6 lety +189

    Cool. He is taking the same approach to diplomacy as a lazy, arrogant college student does to taking an exam.

    • @davethompson3326
      @davethompson3326 Před 6 lety +10

      Well, he has zero experience of success at either

    • @pshaw8406
      @pshaw8406 Před 6 lety +6

      This time he doesn't have daddy to bail him out.

    • @jul9cuz
      @jul9cuz Před 6 lety +1

      Trump is now colluding with Putin AND Xi and they are using Kim Jong Un as a tool to get Trump more power.
      Democracy is officially screwed. Authoritarians are taking over the world in slow motion. It was a good run.

    • @captainmorg95
      @captainmorg95 Před 6 lety

      What's your prescription for the country Dr. Toboggan

    • @georgeb.wolffsohn30
      @georgeb.wolffsohn30 Před 6 lety

      Emma Renee but he'll rig it so the taxpayers do.

  • @sonyahannah
    @sonyahannah Před 6 lety +67

    LOVE it when Colbert sings, dances, and "plays."

  • @anti_MATT_er
    @anti_MATT_er Před 6 lety +751

    What a world.

    • @johokeen1
      @johokeen1 Před 6 lety +26

      This guy is really trying hard to Make America Gross Again. What a loud-mouth nasty Toady.

    • @magnetiktrax
      @magnetiktrax Před 6 lety +34

      I know Americans think the US is the world but please don't include the rest of us in your garbage-reality-TV experiment.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před 6 lety +7

      Trust me, I say that all the time these days. Yes, what a world indeed. What a mad, messed up world we live in.

    • @509734
      @509734 Před 6 lety +4

      What a time to be alive

    • @raynixxx8261
      @raynixxx8261 Před 6 lety +1

      J. Ho 🧐hmmm, never heard of trump being described like that. I dig it 😃✌🏻

  • @mlghelp2day
    @mlghelp2day Před 6 lety +6

    IKEA cabinets LOL!😅

  • @JuggernautProductions
    @JuggernautProductions Před 6 lety +38

    My late night comedians:
    1. Trevor Noah
    2. Stephen Colbert
    3. Seth Myers
    Stephen had some powerful punches in this video! Great host, great writers, great show!

  • @tonyahilo4417
    @tonyahilo4417 Před 6 lety +52

    Thanks to you Stephen I can only reads trumps tweets with your voice in my head.

  • @IHScoutII
    @IHScoutII Před 6 lety +217

    F the "Mooch", stop giving it media oxygen.

    • @MsCygnusX1
      @MsCygnusX1 Před 6 lety +3

      hickorydickoryduck Thank you!! 💯👍❗

    • @GreenDragon11
      @GreenDragon11 Před 6 lety +3

      hickorydickoryduck Totally agree!!

    • @derlich09
      @derlich09 Před 6 lety +4

      He prefers to be called "That Guy" (from Futurama).

    • @the_bottomfragger
      @the_bottomfragger Před 6 lety +2

      hickorydickoryduck No, please do give it to him. He's entertaining as hell and tbh seemed like one of the few people that served in the white house that still seemed to have at least some sort of moral compass.

    • @poornimatata6761
      @poornimatata6761 Před 6 lety +2

      I don't think anyone really cares about what he says. It's just fun to watch him. He's like a movie that's SO bad that it's actually good.

  • @caliluv4244
    @caliluv4244 Před 6 lety +23

    We're living The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits and The X Files in one long, horrifying season.😱

  • @Siureivax
    @Siureivax Před 6 lety +50

    Every time Guilani open his eyes wide open, gets me everytime lmao

    • @RedroomStudios
      @RedroomStudios Před 6 lety +1

      crazy eyes! that is when you know he is lying!

    • @bernardoheusi6146
      @bernardoheusi6146 Před 6 lety +1

      The face of a person who thinks a fart is coming but discovers too late it isn´t a fart :^)

  • @willkriss1497
    @willkriss1497 Před 6 lety +15

    4:25 hey!! The Mooch was my favorite character from season 1!! Glad to see him back in action!

  • @worf7271
    @worf7271 Před 6 lety +1366

    Why prepare for the meeting with Kim? What's the worst that could happen? Oh, nuclear war...?

    • @2345reyna
      @2345reyna Před 6 lety +18

      Worf ..he will be gone..manafort is talking...collusion

    • @kinko920
      @kinko920 Před 6 lety +19

      Worf Kim might not build that Western hamburger joint?

    • @72marshflower15
      @72marshflower15 Před 6 lety +87

      elect a clown, expect a circus...

    • @DrDarrellCoats
      @DrDarrellCoats Před 6 lety +31

      Yvette Lopez dream on. Trump isn't going anywhere. He is like a never ending nightmare. He will defy everyone. As Bill Maher said, "Who's going to arrest him, Dog the Bounty Hunter?"

    • @johnho6173
      @johnho6173 Před 6 lety +11

      welcome to Singapore ,No war please

  • @nmga4022
    @nmga4022 Před 6 lety +8

    I love you Stephen!!! Keep with the good work man!!!!😘😉👊👍

  • @lauriegamble6060
    @lauriegamble6060 Před 6 lety +504

    Would you guys PLEASE vote in November?

    • @jeremys1648
      @jeremys1648 Před 6 lety +18

      Laurie Gamble can you please regain control of the DNC so it doesn’t shove a corporate shill down our throats?!?

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp Před 6 lety +10

      Seriously, vote in November. And ignore the other Russia puppet Bernie.

    • @snoopy_peanuts_77
      @snoopy_peanuts_77 Před 6 lety +5

      california decided that 22% turnout this last primary was good enough with the shit happening in the world.....smdh.....and the fossil corporate feinstein wins with so many great candidates

    • @DebatingWombat
      @DebatingWombat Před 6 lety +2

      Eh, how will you vote for Trump in the Congressional midterms...? [Yeah, I know you’re just trolling]

    • @Im0nJupiter
      @Im0nJupiter Před 6 lety

      Walt Kovacs Classy.

  • @EagleNED
    @EagleNED Před 6 lety +27

    Great segment. Thanks also for posting it in full. Much more enjoyable to watch than in smaller pieces. Keep up the good work!

  • @sofiavenegas9538
    @sofiavenegas9538 Před 6 lety +103

    Trump is like the guy who didn't study for the exam because "in the end its always about the attitude"

    • @OlEgSaS32
      @OlEgSaS32 Před 6 lety +3

      I swear that man lives off of antiquated advice people give to others before a job interview "its ok, you just got to have the right attitude, you want to show your employer you're a WINNER, not a LOSER, overly aggressively shake their hand to show them you mean business, always portray yourself positively even if its not true, and make them believe you can do anything"

    • @omalor
      @omalor Před 3 lety

      he thinks SAT stands for Standard Attitude Test!

  • @markwilson2699
    @markwilson2699 Před 6 lety +2

    This monologue was the funniest one yet, non stop laughs🤣😂😅

  • @jirachiteaminstinct4310
    @jirachiteaminstinct4310 Před 6 lety +3

    Omg this entire segment was perfect 😂😂😂

  • @scream6671
    @scream6671 Před 6 lety +64

    Darn they caught her again...

    • @telectronix1368
      @telectronix1368 Před 6 lety +9

      D'andre - All that area 51 alien cloaking tech and she STILL can't escape.

  • @krasniusha
    @krasniusha Před 6 lety +71

    You'd think Colbert can't be any funnier than he's been all this time, but he somehow manages to be :D

    • @xy6845
      @xy6845 Před 6 lety +1

      It's the satirical aspect of today's world. Stephen just re-tells it.

  • @jimlawton4184
    @jimlawton4184 Před 6 lety +15

    Alternate Air Force One joke- 'Military officials have not been able to explain where Trump got such a figure.' "The same was also said by his medical officials!"

  • @harrybuttworth6765
    @harrybuttworth6765 Před 6 lety +2

    Gosh, this had me in tears lol :D

  • @huntersteele1712
    @huntersteele1712 Před 6 lety +67

    Rudy Giuliani, otherwise known as Elmo’s senile great uncle

    • @StoutShako
      @StoutShako Před 6 lety

      Hunter 'Man Of' Steele
      I knew those eyes were familiar...

  • @professorm4171
    @professorm4171 Před 6 lety +514

    So much winning.

  • @trnharris
    @trnharris Před 6 lety +3

    The 'Stormy Watch' music/segment is truly the best

  • @megfunful
    @megfunful Před 6 lety +15

    A lot of lies from DT,as usual. Colbert you are the best.

  • @Peter_S_
    @Peter_S_ Před 6 lety +13

    I've assembled smarter cabinets from Ikea.

  • @twinodoom
    @twinodoom Před 6 lety +40

    One does not simply “look” at Porn.

    • @kjamison5951
      @kjamison5951 Před 6 lety

      twinodoom An image of Ned Stark appeared in me head.

  • @trichardson319
    @trichardson319 Před 6 lety +2

    Omg!! He got me laughing so hard my dog is concerned. I save these clips for when I am a bit stressed out to get my 7 daily chuckles. Wowwwwwwwwwwwww!!

  • @torbjornlekberg7756
    @torbjornlekberg7756 Před 6 lety +4

    His incompetence have reached a level where it is almost charming. Like a puppy (minus the cuteness) trying to take down an elephant.

  • @everycoLor_312
    @everycoLor_312 Před 6 lety +345

    He just marries his cousins 🤪

    • @rgwak
      @rgwak Před 6 lety +10

      The heart wants what the heart wants. : )

    • @lumen8341
      @lumen8341 Před 6 lety +39

      and dumps his wives on national television, lol. he's such a piece of garbage.

    • @truthtroll1273
      @truthtroll1273 Před 6 lety +1

      Mandy C. Mandy, you're a fine girl! Lol sorry, I had to, it just jumped out at me

    • @pekinobo
      @pekinobo Před 6 lety +4

      So did Einstein.Thumbs up all of you who actually didn´t know.

    • @josephdavila6511
      @josephdavila6511 Před 6 lety +6

      pekinobo And Darwin. He discovered through his children that breeding with family members isn't only morally apprehensive, but also a detriment to genetics. But this brings me to the most important question. Does this mean Gulliani is secretly a genius?

  • @vastavratra8511
    @vastavratra8511 Před 6 lety +219

    Loving every minute coz u make me feel so alive Stephen!☺

  • @aristotle736
    @aristotle736 Před 6 lety +1

    “She disappeared after a stormy “.That was comedy gold.

  • @L0N3LY_GH0ST
    @L0N3LY_GH0ST Před 6 lety +2

    That was one of the sickest burns I’ve ever heard.

  • @michaeloconnor5904
    @michaeloconnor5904 Před 6 lety +22

    The most highly anticipated summit in world history next week... Avenatti and the Mooch.

  • @katieb2153
    @katieb2153 Před 6 lety +310

    15 mins ago, This video was posted and over 5000 views!
    *TAKE THAT FOX NEWS!*

    • @John_C_J
      @John_C_J Před 6 lety +10

      thepsychologistvjdj So do you.

    • @tylerdula6868
      @tylerdula6868 Před 6 lety +5

      John C John I wonder if they realize the irony.

    • @MichaelFlynn0
      @MichaelFlynn0 Před 6 lety +1

      171k now - a day later

    • @nmga4022
      @nmga4022 Před 6 lety +9

      And why is anyone still watching Fox News,i live in Europe and i don't see things like that happening in television, and honest im surprised over their stupids arguments defending Trump,oh my Gosh!!!!

    • @eugeneaxe
      @eugeneaxe Před 6 lety +9

      To be fair, Fox News isn't trying to be funny. Although I do find myself laughing at their outlandish bullshit on a daily basis.

  • @imperialduran
    @imperialduran Před 6 lety +1

    So funny thanks Colbert😅 the 🌎 needs more laughter

  • @justinstephenson9360
    @justinstephenson9360 Před 6 lety +44

    I don't "really" look at porn - Really! does that mean he watches porn using a mirror, or maybe with his eyes half closed? Saying I don't "really" watch porn is just another way of saying of course I do, but I am not admitting to it in case the wife is listening

    • @lumen8341
      @lumen8341 Před 6 lety +7

      Good catch. If someone says "I don't really watch porn" to me that tells me they definitely have. And hey, I have no issue with that whatsoever, but it's just hilarious when a moralizing piece of garbage tries to imply that he's some kind of saint because he supposedly doesn't watch porn every single day.
      Like, good for you, do you think that makes you in any way qualified to tell other people how to live their lives? I'm sure there are dudes who look at porn every day who are better people up-down-and-sideways than Guiliani. It's a gross way to signal to the shitty evangelicals who, yes, definitely look at more porn on the DL than most others do openly.

    • @KhaoticFrosty
      @KhaoticFrosty Před 6 lety +2

      Maybe he listens to asmr porn.

  • @j.daniellopeza.345
    @j.daniellopeza.345 Před 6 lety +79

    Shout out to the guy who uploads this si early
    Da real mvp

  • @lunanasushistax6692
    @lunanasushistax6692 Před 6 lety +8

    Phantom of the Flat Screen omg
    Colbert is a true comedy legend

  • @littlewoodimp
    @littlewoodimp Před 6 lety +17

    Whenever I see Melania trotted out on show, I can't help remember that Muslim 'Gold Star Family' (is that the right moniker??) couple. How Trump insinuated that 'his wife *wasn't allowed* to speak ... maybe.... had to stay silent because of their religious practices ...' as another way of attacking them. Then here comes Melania - standing or sitting next to him looking vague and a bit confused, model posing as hard as she can. For all her contribution to anything going on around her, he might as well wear her as a brooch. I can't help thinking that *she* has definitely been given instructions on how to behave for the day. (Y'know, so she doesn't embarrass him.)

  • @jimmyjames1649
    @jimmyjames1649 Před 6 lety +6

    When I "don't even really do" something.. chances are I do.

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu Před 6 lety +35

    Reporter: Mr Giuliani, does the President look at porn?
    Giuliani: No of course he doesn't. Why would he? He is surrounded by beautiful women, have you seen his wife and daughter? No, Trump doesn't need porn.

  • @Linda-oi4pj
    @Linda-oi4pj Před 6 lety +10

    You nailed it! Can’t stop laughing 😂

  • @PamelaClare
    @PamelaClare Před 6 lety +1

    Colbert is on fire. Thank God for humor.

  • @PaulZink
    @PaulZink Před 6 lety +2

    "Are you SURE you don't watch porn?" Colbert = priceless!

  • @krisballard541
    @krisballard541 Před 6 lety +59

    Rudy Giuliani is a sad little man.

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp Před 6 lety +1

      You can't say that! Just because he married his cousin, cheated on I don't know which wife and the fact that he was an unpopular mayor until 9/11 (which he later milked to the point that people hate him again) doesn't mean you can call him a sad little man! Apologise, immediately!

    • @krisballard541
      @krisballard541 Před 6 lety

      Borot, Rudy Giuliani was always a terrible man, but now he is also senile.

  • @19thHour
    @19thHour Před 6 lety +274

    Avenatti and Mooch were the two Guardians of the Galaxy who were cut from the Infinity War movie. Can't wait to see which problems of the universe they will solve.

    • @damarmar1001
      @damarmar1001 Před 6 lety +9

      19thhour Smooch is an idiot and will solve shit. He's still a spanky puppet

    • @abdaniel487
      @abdaniel487 Před 6 lety +7

      It was clear (and quite funny) that Colbert had no idea how to really market that they were going to be on the show together.

    • @guibox3
      @guibox3 Před 6 lety +8

      The Mooch is still a Trump sympathizer when it comes down to it, don't kid yourself. Same thing with Bannon

    • @SFK360
      @SFK360 Před 6 lety

      I actually laughed out loud reading this. Thank you.

    • @Ryuksgelus
      @Ryuksgelus Před 6 lety

      +guibox3 But....like a fake one since he used to be against him when it was cool. Guy is a bigger bullshitter than Trump. Trump does it on reflex. The mooch hypnotizes himself in a mirror. He's an Italian Cloud Strife.

  • @singasong718
    @singasong718 Před 6 lety

    Biggest laughs on TV. Love you, Stephen Colbert!

  • @jnorway7295
    @jnorway7295 Před 4 lety +1

    Stephen, you are getting better & better every day! I laugh outloud listening to your daily monologues about our Fake President & his absent wife! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @ak101farhan
    @ak101farhan Před 6 lety +64

    Kim begged for it? Lol that's what going down! Can't wait to see Kim not showing up for Singapore 🇸🇬

  • @ZachTheRantingGuy
    @ZachTheRantingGuy Před 6 lety +17

    Any grown man that denies that they look at porn is not willing to admit it.

  • @MegaAngus1
    @MegaAngus1 Před 6 lety +7

    Make those votes count!

    • @georgeb.wolffsohn30
      @georgeb.wolffsohn30 Před 6 lety

      MegaAngus1 if there are any republicans left who haven't been co-opted by the fascist right, step it up ! ! ! Vote those bums out ! ! !

  • @alimojebi9650
    @alimojebi9650 Před 6 lety

    That was a great episode! Loved it! :D

  • @runalsingh1863
    @runalsingh1863 Před 6 lety +41

    Please get that down?
    Lol

  • @MegaManless
    @MegaManless Před 6 lety +5

    honest question: why do they keep Giuliani on? he's destroying their 'credibility' one press conference at a time?

  • @blueberriesrasberries9555
    @blueberriesrasberries9555 Před 6 lety +37

    WEIRD. Trump, his children, his wives, his staff, his friends, his supporters are all WEIRD. This is not rated by Europe but internationally rated ....by global people with common sense and intelligent. Trump's red hat should print as "Make America WEIRD again"

    • @petercapella2116
      @petercapella2116 Před 6 lety +3

      Trump supporters are blind, do not think and they can't accept the man is sick. He is Mythomaniac among other things, He has no shame, no scruples, no class, no morals, and his supporters know it and don't care the enormous harm this man is doing to our country. But they love him more than the future of our nation. After Trump leaves office the harm done by him and his administration is going to be BEYOND REPAIRS. I love my country many don't.
      Trump is ridiculing our country abroad. Other world leaders laugh at Trump and the U.S

    • @Jeudaos
      @Jeudaos Před 5 lety +1

      No, that is an insult to weird people that are not terrible.

    • @subjectivistJ
      @subjectivistJ Před 5 lety

      @@petercapella2116 oh, you're an odd bot :/

  • @ghostmobiil
    @ghostmobiil Před 6 lety +16

    Kim Jong In on his hands and knees? Rudy has his kinks

    • @oscarmcghee3605
      @oscarmcghee3605 Před 6 lety

      I hope kim jong was not pissing on who ever was under him,while he was on his hands and knees.Bye milky Oscar mcghee

  • @kookieprinz5675
    @kookieprinz5675 Před 6 lety +71

    this is gonna turn into a meme I bet

  • @humbawena
    @humbawena Před 6 lety +25

    Giuliani has to visit Israel , dont we have enough problems.

  • @oysterswithcutelegs2061
    @oysterswithcutelegs2061 Před 6 lety +1

    Lmao 😂 “The phantom of the flat screen”

  • @yasminsayeed8125
    @yasminsayeed8125 Před 6 lety +2

    Love you Stephen ❤️

  • @minhduong6593
    @minhduong6593 Před 6 lety +6

    Brilliantly written!

  • @terryjfk8593
    @terryjfk8593 Před 6 lety +48

    the amount of material trump AND HIS clowns give stephen and others use is mindblowing!!!

    • @vblackwell3347
      @vblackwell3347 Před 6 lety

      "the amount of material trump ...."
      Let's hope and pray that the amount of votes the Cult 45ers give him in '20 isn't mind blowing! I'm actually worried. His polls are steadily increasing (???)!

    • @critter2
      @critter2 Před 6 lety

      have a hard time believing anything republicans say after ray moore tried to go after minors and see no issue with that?

    • @JadenJahci
      @JadenJahci Před 6 lety

      Do you learn about whats really going on in the world?
      Or not yet?
      Best Wishes,
      Bias Political Comedic 411

  • @Geoff69420
    @Geoff69420 Před 6 lety +1

    That cabinet joke made me shart lemonade out of my nose

  • @owingsmillss
    @owingsmillss Před 6 lety +4

    Love Steven Colbert, too funny