Should men and women split the bills 50/50 | Should a man pay all the bills?
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- čas přidán 5. 07. 2021
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Should men and women split the bills. A lot if women ask me about if they should be willing to pay half. Is a man still a provider if he only pays half and splits the bills with his woman. Should couples mix finances 50/50. I think the answers to these questions depend on a lot of things. A couple is a team and sometimes what’s best for the team varies. Should a man pay all the bills or should he only pay half? I get this question a lot. Watch to see what I think. - Jak na to + styl
This video is sponsored by LetsGetChecked. Get 20% off your tests with code KEV20 at trylgc.com/KH
I made the mistake in my marriage to blend our paychecks and pay bills. We both made about the same, but I ended up with far more childcare and homemaking and shopping duties. It never felt fair and I was always exhausted.
Exactly! Then they want you to be turned on for intimacy after being a stressed out work mule and nurturer. That 50/50 equation definitely benefits the man.
You’re exhausted and he demands sex but doesn’t lift a finger around the house.
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@@Fancypolkadots It absolutely benefits the man. 50/50 = 100% good life for HIM.
Always have your own bank account
Men should take care of the house meaning Rent/mortgage, light, water. Women take care of the man meaning groceries, laundry and cleaning supply. Women make a house a home we can't do all that paying bills
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I agree
Agreed
Those financially anxious men wanna be someone's son forever. Then wonder why the sexual chemistry is lacking
@@RR-us1lt Exactly.
Thank for breaking this down. Too many men think 50/50 means splitting the bills straight down the middle; and at home the woman must come from work to cook, clean and take care of the kids. Putting so much burden on the women
I'm old school when a woman got a husband she shouldn't even be working 😎🥃
THIS
Right, that’s not 50/50. The women is doing more if the man isn’t helping out. Sweat equity counts because if someone was hired to cook, clean, etc. they would charge a fee and get paid.
Some women like to work even tho she has a husband. I would be bored as fuck being at home all day. I don’t have children
This was me.
And drained af.
Money is not the only asset. If I'm bringing softness, femininity, nurturing, raising kids, cheerleading and making his life peaceful and fun, he's definitely paying 100%.
I agree cause when I was married. I was making twice as much money than my husband, but we STILL split bills 50/50. Why? Cause I have other expenses that he doesnt have: getting hair done, nails done, makeup supplies, and gym memberships to maintain my figure.
Agree
@@tatyanacanales569 huh? 🙄
Nope 50.50 or stay single
100% huh 🤔…?? That means I’m clapping THEM CHEEKs. Every min Every HR I want however whenever. No ands if it buts. Yu want the bills paid coo.. I need to be satisfied & some stress to be relieved 😌 😆
I've heard that statement about building with a man until he gets his feet off the ground. However say if a man sees a very overweight woman..will he say yea I'll go with her and help her lose weight etc lol hardly...a lot of men dont like to settle whether they broke or not...just an example btw
But your so right. They would say oh she needs to lose the weight or men are visual creatures. If she WANTS to lose weight why not stand by her. That brings up why can’t females say get your finances together, it be coming off double standards to me. Just like men like finish product why can’t we women. It makes me feel we need to settle why they get to bask in entitlement
@@TheLadyQuashia exactly double standards
Yes yes yes yes sis!
If you build a man he will later say he did it all himself
@@RR-us1lt This! I have a guy friend his wife helped him get out of debt and level up financially back when they were dating and living together before marriage- he moved in to her place. Now he has amnesia and swears that’s not how it it happened. He’s a fairly solid dude (now, took him a long ass time to mature), so I don’t see him doing her shady or anything but it’s just funny how easy they forget.
Both parties should give 100 percent of themselves in communication, commitment, love and affection. As far as the finances go, I believe the man should be the main financial provider.
This 🎯
Good luck. Its a wonder these days if he even has a job
@Sheila I agree.
Yup. I agree with this.
Agreed
No. A man is by nature the provider. Role reversal never ends well. A feminine man and a masculine woman equal a disastrous relationship.
PERIOD
Round of applause. I feel this way.
Hell yeah
Role playing always ends well? Mature and satisfying relationships don't work that way.
Actually no.
That dynamic you mention could work if roles are understood.
If a man wants to go 50/50 and expects the woman to take care of the home, cook and clean please help me understand how this benefits the woman. And if she has to halt her career to have children. I would rather have a roommate who I know will wash their own dishes.
That’s not the context of this video. That wouldn’t benefit the woman. That’s not whats being said here. No other gender roles or household chores were discussed. I agree with you.
@@KevHick yes, but unfortunately this is typically how these situations organically operate. It’s difficult to have this discussion regarding the financial aspect of the relationship without considering this aspect of household responsibilities as well. If the couple decides to have children, most likely she will be the taking off work and sacrificing her career. If she returns fi work, she will likely have the bulk of the responsibility of caring for the child. Certainly not always, but it’s common.
@@MsRight-sb5ds for me split bills means splitting household chores. A real man cares for his kid regardless of financial structure. If we’re doing gender roles though we’re doing them all the way. Outside of the kids.
What does a woman bring to the table? answer: the silverware the food and the tablecloth
If certain men are getting upset upon what women bring to the table perhaps they shouldn't be with a woman then
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The woman is the table. When the roles are executed properly she provides the stability he needs to manifest. She is the wings that make his dreams and aspirations fly.
This is comical 😂, but to each their own.
@@emiolaomotayo7497 no not at all a woman doesn't contribute to a man's ambition if he does he's soft he's supposed to be self sufficient
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If he earns more than me because his baby/babies is/are permanently attached to my breast then no. It ain’t 50/50. Maternity is 9 months paid leave (reduced rate) in the UK and childcare is extortionate. If I have to compromise my career, I’ll never pay 50/50.
I’m not going 50/50 with no man 👨 that’s a roommate not a husband or relationship.
Depends how your language is everyone has there own definition n prospective in how they see things 50/50 can mean many things for people I can cook clean n take care my kids. As well as she dose it not just a female role we both did the deed both responsibility don't I expect her to pay bill s no if she wants to help it fine with me cause she independent if I get home before she dose I cook clean wash our clothes n watch the kids its being a team
@@djayscruggs8786 she’s single no need to respond to her.
Do you sleep with your roommates? If you're being intimate with your partner and you go half on bills, you're not roommates.
@@garygreen7104 I'm sorry Gary but in keeping with the info Kev provided and explained quite extensively...if you're living SEPARATE FINANCIAL lives the fact that you share a dwelling whereby all expenses are split down the middle is THE DEFINITION of "roommate". Two separate households under the same roof. The fact that sex is involved is just "benefits". More often than not the woman gets the short end of such a "situationship" masquerading as a "relationship". Living together is a LEGALLY BINDING situation. Whomever's name is on the lease bears the responsibility LEGALLY (the pros and the cons). If you have separate leases and separate finances at the same address.....that is a roommate BY LAW.....PERIOD! On tax filing day you DECLARE the truth about what you and your bed buddy truly are. The rest is bullshit to justify getting over on someone. The devil is in the details to determine who is the manipulator because men get played with this too. But this video is advice for women sooooo that's the perspective being presented.
SEX is NOT a relationship defining factor outside of "traditional" boundaries and traditionally speaking sex belongs in marriage only. So IF you want sex on the table (man or woman) just know it only changes your feelings (MAYBE)....not your reality. When things fall apart that's when folks learn that lesson.
@@emiolaomotayo7497 Your trying to define a relationship with your own views. Some relationship actually are 50/50 some a 100/0. It's whatever works for the couple and their situation.
I’ll pay 50/50 when a pregnancy can be 50/50 as well 😂
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Pregnancy is 50/50. Oven can’t cook if it’s nothing in there
@@neimyx1 Pregnancy is not 50/50, at all!!!!
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@@chocolateprincess8543 The thing is PREGANACY IS A CHOICE.
YOUR CHOICE WOMAN .. DEAL WITH IT
Why do women always have to be “understanding” when a man is lacking? If you are not a full provider yet, wtf are you tryin to date? Get your finances right then find a woman to have a relationship with. I’m not bout to build with no man ✋🏾. I already have my shit all the way together and so should he if he even looks my way.
Speak sis they got women out here paying men house notes, buying them cars ,flying them out on trips I am not doing any of that s***
@@j.dillonthescene exactly 👏🏽. If we can do it, so can they! I have no sympathy for a man that can’t get his own bag and be in a position to provide!
You make some valid points so I totally understand where your coming from. I've heard the word "understanding' so much its ridiculous. If a man can't afford his basic things by himself, than he shouldn't even be focusing on being in a relationship etc. As a woman when I wasn't able to support myself, I wasn't looking for a man to take care of me, that's my responsibility, I'm an adult. I wasn't raise that way by my parents. Grown people should support themselves majority of the time. I understand hard times can and will happen, only God can foretell the future. I'm willing to help and be supportive however its only to a certain extent with a boyfriend, it's not right to give husband supportive benefits to a boyfriend to me personally be it that I want to be married one day if God is willing but to each is her own.
I understand"Team work makes the dream work." But so many men use the word "understanding " as an excuse. Not to in generalize all men but for those who do. I believe in God and his son Jesus Christ so, a man leading and showing that he can be a good leader for a potential husband is the best way to go. If he doesn't know how to lead he shouldn't be trying to take on a relationship and or be married. This was an awesome video, I enjoy his content.
Exactly your not in a position to date some one if you can’t pay the bills. So we suppose to
Go 50/50 on the date too.. hell to the no!
"Understanding" is a spouse benefit. Single folks should be "choosing". If it don't fit don't force it. You'll just play yourself. That doesn't mean to lack empathy. It simply means watch and wait. It is unrealistic to accept a relationship "as is" but secretly having ultimatums. Just choose wisely. "Potential" is 100% YOUR IMAGINATION. It isn't real.
We have 1 joint account for household bills. Mortgage, utilities, groceries, autos, insurance, etc. We have separate joint accounts for our own personal things. Our joint bills are budgeted so we split that down the middle. What works for us doesn’t necessarily work for others. My advice is that this is a conversation that should be had once you are ready for that committed step.
Definitely a conversation when crossing over into commitment.
EXACTLY! A Date is a Date. Were not in a Relationship!
I don’t think women should get pregnant with a man who wants to do 50/50 women have to deal with 100% of the consequences that comes from SEX …. What happens after the baby is born ? You have to go out there and hunt too ? Who’s gonna protect you and the baby ? While you heal and while baby grows ?? 😂 hell no …. I’m really starting to believe that’s what this post partum depression is stemming from …
@MARJAN it’s actually cruel and I would be depressed as fuk too !! These poor women out here 😩 …. And they wouldn’t even need to risk their life to get surgery if they had the solid support of a man so she can just work out and eat healthy and rest her poor body and mind instead of having to stress about money and go out there and hustle and get money a week after birth that’s wild as hell… how can she be fully present for her child this way ? Then we wonder why there’s so many fucked up adults out here …..
you get paid during maternity
@@oma23jthat's temporary and isn't enough. Are you serious? How do you compare getting paid during leave while a baby grows inside of you for months to going 50/50 for years in a re? Get serious. 😒
@@SR77736 I do not advocate 50/50. I believe in fair shair of expenses proportional to salaries and equal work at home. Which can be negotiated to man pays 80%+ if woman does most of job at home. But there should be a contribution
I agree with 50/50 under the circumstances you mentioned. The issue when I and my now-husband started, is I made more money, and I found myself at times covering his portion and mine, with him paying me back. Lol
The kicker is I wasn't able to do the same if I found myself in this situation. When I had to stop working he wasn't able to carry anything on his own for a moment.
He always depended on my "half".
And now that I get SSI he still gets my "half" for rent and household expenses. I am secretly resentful as hell I must admit. A man with no resources or plan.
I feel you. After I had our one and only child my now ex husband quit his job and didn't even try to find another one. I was on maternity leave for 3 or 4 months, went back to work to support us all. We were then on foodstamps since he wasn't working and we soon moved to section 8 housing. I was unhappy at the job and wished I could stay with baby longer and became resentful too. I ended up leaving the job and living off about 4k for a year since I was already on section i and foodstamps and he still didn't get a job in that year. Useless.
Why are you resentful?
@Shanno why are you resentful?
@@justfit71 I felt like I was the only one resolving financial issues, I was the only one with resources, I should be equally covered.
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Roommates should always split the bills....
Exactly a husband should not be 50/50 that’s a roommate
Yes Roommates. But if your have sex...you are not ROOMMATES!
@@CrystalDatingCoach what are they then? Friends with benefits?
@@shutit4024 Exactly darling! If your paying HALF the Rent...better to live w/your Bff.
@@CrystalDatingCoach I agree
I never paid 50/50, not even on dates. If a man lived alone, he would pay all bill, a woman doesn;t add more to it. So he uses your body and leeches your money, after 10 years, he makes 6 figures, you're wrinkly and broke, he leaves you for a younger model and pays her bills and expenses. Don't give up what you can't get back. Don't let men take advantage of you, if he makes twice as much money, he should pay your and his bills.
Love you 😘
My thoughts exactly!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾
If you are intimate with a dude and you split bills you are a convenient roommate. How will you know he truly wants you or you are just a convenient bonus.
You paying all your bills right too? 60/40 is fair.
I would be happy with a 70/30 I make a lot of money and have a house and rentals life is an investment if a woman isn’t invested in me why would I wanna be with her, she’s the leach if she thinks I am gonna pay for every single thing, if a man married you and pays for everything the whole time a woman can easily file for divorce and try to take everything …. No wonder your broke and struggling
My godfather is a millionaire , and expects to go 50/50 w a women and wonders why he can’t find love
It's ok.. he has millions.. it would not matter.. and who says he is trying to find love? I am pretty sure he is pretty happy with the current arrangement.
@@picklepoppers8223 Oh you must know my godfather personally?
@@kenfontainetrades I do not but I am pretty sure he is just fine. The man should not be responsible for her women's frivolous spending spree. You want that Gucci bag? Pay for it yourself plz. He has worked his ass off to be a millionaire and why should he spend that on a useless turd who can't put her finances in check.
@@picklepoppers8223 You’re making assumptions. Like I said you don’t know my godfather. No one said anything about a Gucci bag or a woman who doesn’t maintain her finances. If a woman were to cook, clean, do his laundry, make his house a home, guess what she still needs to pay 50% of the bills, and treat him to dinner. I grew up with this man and saw his girlfriends would always pay for dinner. As I got older it came out he never paid any bills either living with them! If my godfather can mooch off you , he will no matter how much money he has.
@@kenfontainetrades he is fine. He still has his millions. And good on him for making them contribute instead of freeloading off his hard earned money. If that is bothering you then why don't you go talk to him. I am pretty sure he will listen to ya and be a renewed and changed man. Good luck !
There are no absolute answers to this question. Some women love gender roles and some women despise them. To each her own. There are many valid reasons to split bills depending on the circumstances. An established enough man should take care of them. A successful couple may still split with two solid incomes in the home. Everyone does what’s best for them. My wife hasn’t had to work in 8 years. We built from nothing. Loyalty bought is loyalty sold. I’m glad I found someone that cared about more than my wallet when she met me. Even though I’ve always paid the majority of the bills, even when I was broke. Too many women selecting wallets instead of partners. Getting 100 percent on bills but 10 percent on character. Not to demonize the women who only want established providers, but you should also be willing to perform a woman’s traditional gender roles if that’s the case.
So true, Kev 🙂!!
I have to disagree with your very last sentence. It's not wrong for a woman to want an established provider, like you said, to each her own. She won't get with a guy who is not established yet and that's okay, she's not bothering anyone. She does not need to necessarily conform to gender roles for women either as these gender roles can seem oppressive to women and will only benefit men. Men are biologically built to provide so that's why some of us women require a man who will be able to provide from the get-go and won't settle for less. That doesn't mean we will belittle those who arent a provider yet, we just simply won't associate with them. And to say, if we require a man to provide fully, we have to conform to gender roles as a woman, is very unfair as it only benefit men and doesn't give women choice what they want to do with their body/life. But if a man becomes a provider, it benefits the whole community and it won't be by force. It'll be when yall are ready to step up to the game. So no, women who require a provider doesn't need to necessarily follow gender roles like giving birth etc. To each their own.
Exactly. Why do heterosexual people have such a difficult time with this? We should definitely take a page from our rainbow counterparts. This does not seem to be so much of an issue for LGBTQ couples.
@@exohsxx3432 I assume that Kev is coming from a place, where often people expect that if they put themselves in a traditional gender role that they will get someone that follows the equivalent gender role for the opposite gender. So if you want a man to be traditional by being the established provider, you will have a way better chance of actually getting someone who will provide for you, if you also follow traditional values as woman by being a nurturer and home-maker. Ultimately it's up to both to get what they want out of the relationship though.
@@SimpleSuzie123 yea, because they’re already living a lifestyle tht doesn’t make sense. It’s no different than room mating .
This is a real man talking right here in this video.
HELL NO.
I am his Lady LOVE not his effen roommate.
Its the entitlement that kills me. You just an expensive pet.
@@Mental_Alchemistyou’re too broke to provide.
@@Apple-zt7be nah. I could, but Only broke bummy women actually need a provider in America in 2024
It's just the irony that got me laughing at jokes like that😭
Picturr a bum telling me I don't give her change bcuz I can't afford it. 😂😂😭
Hilarious
How I see it. It's not my job to support a woman. She's a grown adult, she can take care of herself. The only way I would support a woman, is if we have a child together. Like, my child, my DNA. Not some other guys child.
IF HE INVITE ME.....100%
Not going to go 50/50 with my man ♂️👞 that's like a getting a roommate to split the bills an rent with 🤦🏾♀️
With that selfishness and entitled attitude, he'd be a damned fool to not trade u in for a newer, tighter, and more beautiful woman once he gets tired of renting you out.
How are you his roommate if he pay for everything? No that’s his shit and you just a bum
@@Mental_Alchemist Thats another reason why women shouldn't go 50/50 thanks lol
@@Love11904 🤦🏿♂️
I don't believe in 50/50. My father always paid the bills growing up and my mother bought groceries. It would have worked out 95/5 in my parents case. Maybe it's what I'm used to but I just couldn't settle for anything less.
Groceries must have been REALLY cheap then if food was just 5% of a family-with-kids' living costs!
My father paid all the bills when I was growing up as well.
We’re living in the time when your father was taking care of your mother. You have to pay now.
@@saintsgang8039 no I don't have to pay and I won't. Any woman whose husband is not taking care of her financially should have to go without sex/cooking/cleaning etc indefinitely.
What world do you live in miss? It's not the 60s or 70s. Please stop being a lazy freeloader and be part of the unit. A household is a unit and both men and women need to work as a team.
‘In proportion to each income’. Ditto!!!
50/50 is a roommate
So then if he pay for everything what that make you then? A bum
If their roommates. If they are in a relationship, the man should pay the bills.
YES thank you
When I met my husband we both had no money just two young broke folk. He had a car and I lived at home with my parents. Once we got crazy about each other we would just hang out at the park together, visit with his buddies, he would take me out to eat (his sister's house she was married and doing the cooking :) All free, all I cared about was being with him. Never did he ask me to pay half of anything. Once we married all money earned went into the same bank account and we just paid the bills and there was no measuring of 50/50 crap. I will add that I am budget-minded and do not buy anything beyond my means and charge up credit and neither does he.
Best comment ever👏👏👏💯... It's all about treating each other equal and with the same kind of respect. So many women commenting about if their significant other earns more money than them they not paying nothing. That's being immature! If you are in a committed relationship you should work together as a team not go into a relationship just for fun, excitement and luxury. If you're not ready for a committed relationship it doesn't make sense dating🤷🏽♀️
@@chelsieromero4874 Masculine men providing for their women and families are "immature"???
What's immature is your naivety on the issues of masculinity and feminine divine.
You go on ahead and be Mrs. Pick'Me for some dusty if you want to...
I think you find it odd that a man provides for his woman is because no man has ever loved YOU enough to take the financial load off of your shoulders.
Men look at YOU as someone they can get to pay half of the light bill.
You seem to be jealous of women who can pull masculine men who are more than capable of financially taking care the house expenses WITHOUT their help.
Very good. Unfortunately most women are not as practical as you and would drain their husbands/partners out financially. You see a household is a unit and both parties must contribute to the well being of that unit.
@@catmouse2882your probably single
@@chelsieromero4874 exactly. Marriage is a business.
When (and if) I split 50:50, it's 50/50 on everything incl. houshold etc. It can't be 50/50 on bills but all the rest falls on the woman. I think as long as both parties are happy with the solution they found, it doesn't matter what the exact splitting of bills and chores is
Facts!
I’ve honestly been waiting to hear his opinion on this for a long time
I’m sure you were not shocked to find out he’s a dusty 😂
Your attitude and perspective will make your marriage last a long time. Respect and Blessings to you and your wife. Thank you for sharing.
Do what works for your relationship. If he's able to pay all the bills, pay all the bills. However, if yall can do 50/50 60/40 70/30
As long as you're building something.
Just don't let a user use you. And if you're already married, in serious relationship or else. Build a business and let business take care of yallz.
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Very well said.
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Sorry..but I am not responsible for her debts. Same goes for her towards me. I personally am very very good with money. I paid off 20k in student loans on my day of graduation. I busted my rear end working and finishing university with no debt. I am NOT going to be responsible for her frivolous spending spree. No way. And I will not have any joint accounts with her. Only when we have to pay MTG or rent we can have a joint acc that is separate from our regular payroll account.
We are not in the 50s any more. Women work now. There is absolutely no reason for women to not contribute to the financial health of the couple.
Finally!! 🙌🏼
Here's a reason: women do most of the housework and therefore shouldn't have to be burdened with the additional stress of finances. You're right it's not the 50s but women still cook and clean like it is, so let men pay like it is.
@@mimia.4810 it's not the 50s , men are not called sissy's for doing housework anymore. It's a new era, that old mindset gone die with the old generation.
@@slummadekell7626 I know what you mean. Times have changed and gender roles aren't as forced, however most men even today still don't do housework. Also, you have to consider it's women that bear children. It's hard for women to be mothers and still breadwinners for their families. I think the man should carry the weight of breadwinning.
I agree with this.
Some women have their own. Mortgage, car, no debt, high wage earner, excellent credit score. I could never build with a man, I think it'll be like being escorted to poverty for the sake of a temporary feeling and a few nice words. Men really need to be ready to provide for a family, before they start talking about love.
So a poor man doesn't deserve love or a family?
@@rchot84 A poor man should get himself out of poverty before creating children who depend on him. If you can't provide shelter, food and safety for yourself and potential family, you should be working on that. Love is not a priority for a poor man.
@@Lovetheonewithin if someone is willing to love and marry poor person whether that be a man or woman that's between those 2.
All I am saying is you can't make generalizations and say a whole group of people don't deserve this because they don't have that.
@@rchot84 You are free to have your belief as am I. Be well.
Nope and no. Much respect to you Kev but you are sterling women wrong with this advice right here.Ladies don’t do this 50/50 nonsense. The only exception is if you and your partner are young. Yes you need time to establish your career and gain experience women your young so that’s different. Even then ladies if the man does not have ambition and is not trying to move his career and success forward.. then walk away. If you are in your 30’s 40’s and beyond and cannot take on the role of provider.. that’s a problem. It is a prerequisite. Providing is one of a mans man purposes in life. Now I’m not saying life doesn’t happen but as a man you need to be on your grind to take care of your family. You don’t have to be a CEO or whatever... but you are the head of household therefore your responsibilities are to take care of the household period. All this new age man bs needs to stop.. ladies don’t fall for it.
You’re arguing a context of conversation not discussed in this video. You said the exception was if you were young. That’s the exact context I spoke about. Not to be disagreeable but context matters. I spoke directly to the exception.
@@KevHick I understand what your saying, but you did not specify in the video that you were only speaking to a situation in which the man is young and still building. Yes you gave young yourself as one example, but went on to talk about men in general terms.This lead me to believe your were not just focusing on young men.
We need to baxk to the 1800s then and take away women's ability to make money then. U cant have it both ways. Equal rights come with equal responsibilities.
Good answer Kev. This question can't be answered with a blanket statement. It depends on the couple. There are still traditional couples out there where the man pays for everything and takes care of his woman completely. Those are ok if that's what both ppl want. It's also ok to split the bills according to what each person can afford. As long as you both are in agreement with how things are going to go in the relationship and are flexible to change it's cool.
Th g. Hho
Or you do I need I know I understand c
I absolutely agree with this message! I’m not “50/50” but I definitely agree with supporting each other so that we both come up together - i guess i agree with proportions instead of absolutes and definitely more than prerequisites.
Man Kev. Thank you!!!! What a confirmation that I needed to hear. I’m going to forward this!!! (Had to edit)… thank you for your guidance and honesty!!
thumbs up just for the opening message👍👍
Great video Kev. I agree❤
I’m not splitting bills 50/50. Now dividing in an equitable fashion is something reasonable. One party shouldn’t be destitute and the other person is living more abundantly. It’s not fair. I agree Kev
I think this conversation regarding splitting is relevant to how old you are and what stage of the relationship (young or established). If you are younger, splitting bills may make sense.
I think when dating, esp in older and experienced people maybe age 25 and older, the woman shouldn’t pay. In a committed relationship, then a conversation should take place on what that looks like for both people.
I teach my 19 yr old son to date and pay. If he can’t afford it, a ice cream date or walk in the park spending quality time is a date. Dating doesn’t always have to be about money.
That’s my point exactly. That’s why I set the context as the young and unestablished. Of course older women should have a different experience. Context matters.
Amazing best explanation ever heard, couldn’t agree more - you nailed it right on the head🎯 💯 Long live speaker ! Ladies, listen carefully, this guy knows what he’s talking about and says it exactly as it is
KEV Love the advice you give to Women! BUT! No Woman should SPLIT the Check on a Date! You can't afford to pay for a MEAL you can't afford a Girlfriend. Get your ACT together before pursuing Women. You want the company of a Beautiful Female...you OFFER! You don't ask a Woman out on a Date and then ask her for MONEY. Also it does show what the Person thinks of you. If he asks you to SPLIT the CHECK...he's not interested in a Relationship with you! Men have NO problem of offering Women on a Date...they really like. He's not boyfriend. He's not your husband. His "economical" situation is not your problem!
This is a great one.
Especially with the "Blue and Red Pill" kerfuffle.
This is one of my favorite videos from you. Thank you for the insight. This means so much and I appreciate your work!
Great point of view. I really enjoyed listening. Financial issues are the leading cause of divorce so I think even before getting married, the financials of the household should be worked out.
Very balanced perspective!
Interesting viewpoint thanks for sharing
I was financially abused this way and years later, well, I now think everyone should get a prenup regardless of their job status, income or age.
Once we were permanent, all debt became our debt. Ezch of us got an allowance to spend as we chose the rest went to one fund. Period. All work was shared in the household as well not negotiable
Whatever works for your household to keep it stable and peaceful. Just act your wage.
Lol this video made me understand 50/50❤ thanks Kevin
You are realy good person and good man...so if there were lots of men like you the world be much better
❤️ I think I just changed my level of thinking
I had a man that every month he was asking me for money. We was only together for 4 months until I realized that he was a user. A man that makes money and always want you to take care of him, will never be committed. As much as I liked him, I had to let him go.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Alot of men will take themselves out of the equation even if the woman is try to work with him.
Chef's kiss ✨
Each holdhold should set their own standards of what works for them. As for my household I wouldn't mind going 100/100
If she can't afford the groceries, then he just doesn't get to eat! Go figure, he saddles her with a lot of kids and then expects her to buy groceries? How does she do that, taking care of a house, cleaning, cooking, caring for several kids? Hiring housekeepers/babysitters would cost him an arm and a leg, unless he married her, then she'd have to "contribute" while she was now cleaning, cooking, minding kids without pay.
I think both of them should. Because you never what could happen in life. I agree splitting things by their portion.
When me and my boyfriend had to work, he made more than I did so we had an agreement that he would use his money for things we needed like lights, car, gas, etc. and I would use my money for what we wanted like TV shows, fast food, energy drinks, etc. and that way he was the provider and I got to spoil him (he worked more hours and higher position) and when he got to the point where he couldn't deal with the high stress vs low pay he asked me "if I quit my job can you hold down the bills?" I worked every hour I could and spent almost every penny on bills and we couldn't do all of the fun things we used to do we had less than half the money we had before and I had just given birth to our son so I was still healing from that but we stuck by each other and now he is making over twice what we made both working and told me he makes enough that I don't have to have a job and he has ambitions and goals with this new job that he didn't have when we met
Some women don't understand that if you love and cherish a man stick with thru the hard times you can watch a pauper turn into a King with loyalty encouragement and patience
The ones who get anxious if women don't want 50/50 are the ones who can't provide and are insecure about it. However, statistically you can't expect every man to be a good provider. But it's obvious men all over the world enjoy providing for a woman if he has the means and she is a delight to him. It's human nature. So there is no universal advice to this. If you are an unkempt, miserable woman with no appeal you can't just demand a provider. If you are a gorgeous lady who puts in effort to yourself, the relationship, and the household, you are selling yourself short and making a clown out of yourself being with a man who expects you to do even more and support half the finances. Everything in life is a hierarchy so top percent of men would be demeaned if a woman paid any of his bills and top percent of women would be fools to settle for a non provider. Lines are blurred the farther down you go.
I don't believe in 50/50 anything never have never will and to each is their own 😎🥃
It depends on each relationship,and circumstances.if one makes more,they can potentially take on more of the finances .
If both make roughly the same,they can potentially split everything.
It really is situational.what may work for one couple may not for another
The problem is that women in majority of the cases still with a double burden of working in a corporate job and at home. This is definitely not fair. It’s never 50/50
That statement is really used for people who just want to be able to do what they want and find out the hard way. Yes, things work for different people but that doesn’t cancel the fact that there is the most healthy and sustainable way. A lot of those people that it’s “working” for it’s actually not or doesn’t. They just be suffering behind the scenes for the sake of the marriage or relationship staying intact.
@@silviasantana2074this. Plus we still get paid less than men. So why should we do 50/50?
He buys the food and she cooks it.. gurrl you better learn how to cook, he's going to leave your a** if you burn the Mac n cheese out of the box lol 😆
They actually makes a lot of sense
I think that if both people are starting out together then going 50/50 what ever 50/50 may mean for the both of you then its fine. I don't think its fair to think that just because he makes more he/she makes more money then they should be the ones to always pay.
If we go 50/50 then best believe we go 50/50 on chores, childcare etc. Homemaking is a full time job in and of itself so I’ll be dammed to work 2 jobs while a man just splits bills & thinks we are cool. No sir
I think it also depends on the goals of each party. One person could be interested in growing their career to make more money to do more things with while the other could care less about making extra, so long as the basics are taken care of. I feel it'd be unfair for one person to advocate for more money when they clearly arent interested in doing the work to actually earn it. That also discourages the more motivated party from making more because perhaps they'll be envied for having more, even though they actually choose to do more to get it. Personally I think 50/50 keeps it from one person feeling like they're always doing more than the other. I say this because I also personally have no issue with contributing 50/50 in all the other areas as well like cooking, cleaning, maintenance and child care. In fact, I see being able to do so as somwthing that makes me a better person in general, more capable and I would assume more looked up to as a good example. Of course, on the subject if child care or rather pre-child care (child birth and a certain window of time both leading up to to and afterwards), I would consider that my partner is the one taking on the full responsibility (for us) of birthing OUR child which I cannot do so now its my full responsibility to take care of OUR things that my partner likely can't. That being said, this is only for a certain window and like I said before, I want to take care of my child just as much as my partner and so I would expect us to switch back to 50/50 financially eventually as I also transition into the child care role. It's certainly possible, it's just a matter of who your partner is and what you both want and agree on.
Also for this to work, one person can't reap the benefits of both traditional AND contemporary gender roles. It's gotta be one or the other and it's gotta be agreed on and acted out by both parties and to help figure this out, both parties need to be honest and up front about what they realistically want. Again, if you would rather work less and not as hard to make the minimum amount needed, I dont think you should expect to benefit extra from your partners hard work and determination to go above and beyond for the spoils. And actions speak louder than words, you can only say you want to achieve more and then do little to actually make that happen for so long. Hopefully if you really do wanna do more to get more, your partner is willing to help you get there so that you can both be happy and enjoy the spoils.
Was not expecting this, but I’m not shocked. This is where it becomes a bit difficult for American men to be the preference. If a man can’t afford to provide, he’s not ready for a relationship. Simple. No, this does not give him the green light to go sleep around, it means he needs to work on himself some more. This is why women need to stop giving it up for “free” out of “love”. If you haven’t received that life long commitment = no sex. Period. I would rather live a simplistic lifestyle with man that’s building/providing, than go 50/50. Even my male friends tht are strictly platonic don’t allow me to pay for things.
So poor men should be alone their whole lives ..... ok 👌
Soooo.....You want equal rights, but not equal responsibilty? Who tf r u cleopatra?
Sensible smart man right here.
So true
If I pay all the bills what purpose does a woman have in my Castle
Cooked food and clean house lol 😆
I don’t need cooked food or a clean house
@@allissahaley why do chicks not realize that on a physical level cooking and cleaning is not equal tp someone paying for 100% of you're living expenses. If there aren't any kids yet and you and your man aren't pigs, you're only gonna be cooking and cleaning up for a few hours a day. If you went out and got a job doing that you'd barely be making enough to cover a car note and a light bill. It's not an equal transaction. Even with kids, they don't need constant supervision their entire lives. Once kids get to about 10 years old they are pretty self sufficient and expected to do chores so mom wouldn't be doing everything. What men want in exchange for provision is a woman qho loves them unconditionally and respects and appreciates them. Cooking and cleaning is not nearly enough for what women are asking for. When you factor in that the man is also expected to risk his life at any given moment to protect the woman the transaction just becomes more unequal. A man can hire a maid. Ya can't hire someone to provide for you.
@@joannamonique707 who gives a flying crap 😂 I'm traditional not some pick mesha
@@allissahaley u seem pretty useless in a man's life and really not much different than an escort. I have no idea why a guy wouldnt want to trade u in for a newer model in a few years.
Preach.
My grandpa work 12 hours, cook, clean and paid the bills! I don’t see how women are okay with going 50/50. When a man have a great woman he won’t worry about splitting!
Completely agree
I agree it depends on where you start off and how young you are. If I was in my twenties, early thirties or whatever I would be probably cool with that but I think a man's instinct is he wants provide for his woman. But these ones in their late thirties, forties, fifties, you are just not prepared. What were you thinking? ! We women have to be fair also, don't just go looking for a man to provide everything for you. I'm just saying... You are a good teacher Kev! Thank you. 🙏💙🙏💙🙏
I don't know why everyone talks bout 50/50 bs stuff you go into a relationship because u want to be with that person no matter what ur income is building each other up make memories even if it struggle cause u look back n appreciate what you have n what u accomplish together we both made the kids we both take care of them we wash there clothes clean house make food you ain't a queen u ain't got people or live in a castel you ain't a king you don't rule over any one you have no royalties you are men n a woman there no written thing when ur born who will take care of who we take care of each other build each other if u hurt going to labor of course a man take care his responsibility but if there no child you should help each other to provide n help build your future to have a family it my though n opinion
AMEN KEVIN 😅😊🍀
Finally a “Simp” that makes sense. I like that he addressed the modern situation rather than this fantasy world traditional men and women want to live in.
I actually like paying all the bills but My question is this. Should a man pay all the bills in the sense of calling the different company’s & paying them? For example should I call the car insurance place to have them take the money out & so forth & so on? Is it too stressful for the wife to call all the places & make sure they take the money out, while being a stay at home mom?
I don't see why a woman can't do that.
I was in shock when I found out that most couples dont share money together. I can understand if u live in separate households. But if u live together and u are in a relationship you both should bill together. Whats the point of a relationship if you cant bud together? U mite as well be single
Some people aren't responsible and sometimes you don't find that out until you're already married. More research should be done and more specific questions should be discussed so things like this don't happen. I totally agree that finances should be together, but sadly it doesn't always work out that way.
In those days, women allowed to work nor would they be paid a lot. Today it's different though many women still earn lesser, if your spouse isn't financially stable obviously help each other out. So if you're broke and your rich boyfriend makes you pay better run the other way because that really inconsiderate
Don't have to be 50/50 just as long as we have an abuse free relationship in all platforms and serve God. And we increase our positive energy between one and another. And no fornicating, and no toxic bs and we straight.
I see where you are coming from with that as far as what's fair. At my age now, I do look for men to be established with their lives. But I generally date guys who are in their mid to late 40s. Ones who don't want more children. Financial expectations is a conversation I'll have with a man before the first date. Especially if I plan to take them seriously. I don't look to pay for dates. But I'm very old school with gender roles and date men who have the same mentality. I would want a man who was financially responsible. Even if he didn't have much, just that he took care of what he had, worked hard, and had integrity. Usually a man with those skills ends up being successful.
Unless it's been established, pay for your food.
Also, bills?
That consists of shacking and I don't do that.
Yes but also split the chores. It's about being a team player
The bad part about a men paying all the bill alone. Is when she start accumulate her money and getting richer than you. She’ll feel that she’s out of your league. And will cheat on you. Im not agree with the 50/50 unless it’s on everything. If she cook or clean alone she gotta spend some but not 50/50.
Can someone provide the math equation for this kind of split? 😂
If the man makes 1,000$ every two weeks and the woman makes 600$every two weeks. If the bills are 1,000 he pays 700 while she pays 300. They both have 300$ in spending money left after bills are paid. Instead of both paying 500$ a piece which would be 50/50 but would leave him with 500$ and her with 100$ dollars. Two different lifestyles.
Its not an equal dynamic financially when the man has to pay for another mans responsibility ; but that wasn’t mentioned. Men should avoid those situations anyway.
Men don’t have a problem paying all the bills if the woman is willing to live off of his income. But she’s not
So question for the people in this chat my girlfriend doesn’t agree with 50/50 I even tried to compromise with me handling all needs as in bills and she handle our wants as far as going out to eat or vacations and she still says as a man I should handle it all
Side note we both make 50k+ a year what are your thoughts?
Yes sir.
Or
Pay your own ✔ check
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Me, who has been unable to land a job since 2021, and a negative disposable after food and rent:
💵👉💼
I use to be ashamed of my marriage until I surround myself with older asian women. In my marriage I pay for everything because I make more money. I build my husband to the best of my ability but it comes from him to want to be ambitious. He’s gotten better financially thorough out the years but I still significantly makes more money than him. I’m 35 & he’s 36, we’ve been together for 16 years.