Do Modern Women OWE Men Anything? (We SETTLE This!) | Daniele Hage
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
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Understanding Attachment Theory, Feminine Strength, and Relationship Dynamics
Join us for an enlightening conversation where we delve deep into the complexities of attachment theory, the dynamics between masculine and feminine energies, and their profound impact on relationships. Our guest, an experienced marriage and family therapist turned online educator, shares her journey from private practice to teaching attachment theory extensively online, with a special focus on avoidant men.
Key Topics Covered:
Attachment Theory: Insights into the journey from traditional therapy to specializing in attachment theory, and the importance of addressing avoidant attachment without demonizing individuals.
Feminine Strength: A discussion on the true essence of feminine strength, distinguishing it from traditional masculine strength, and exploring what it means to be a strong woman in today's world.
Roles in Relationships: How men and women can support each other, the importance of embracing and fostering feminine energy, and the roles and responsibilities each gender holds in nurturing a balanced and fulfilling relationship.
Personal Anecdotes: Real-life stories that illustrate the balance of masculine and feminine energies, including examples of how the guest and her family navigate these dynamics in their own lives.
Challenges of Modern Relationships: Addressing the impact of societal changes and the feminist movement on relationships, and how both men and women can work together to create empowering and balanced partnerships.
Practical Advice: Tips for women on embracing their femininity while supporting a masculine partner, and how men can create a safe and supportive environment for feminine energy to flourish.
Memorable Quotes:
"Women are not supposed to be stomping their foot, demanding, pushing hard. That's not the feminine perspective."
"A strong woman doesn't mean big muscles or a big salary. It's more about disposition and attitude."
About Our Guest:
Our guest has been married for 44 years, with a wealth of experience in family and marriage counseling, and a deep understanding of attachment theory. She shares personal stories of her family's journey, emphasizing the importance of teamwork, communication, and mutual respect in building strong relationships.
If you enjoyed this video then I would recommend you give this video on avoidant attachment a watch: • Anxious and Avoidant A...
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If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.
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Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:
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Connect with Our Guest:
Instagram: / danielehage
Facebook: / danikhage
CZcams: @danielehage
Chapters:
00:00:00 - Empowering Women with Feminine Strength
00:05:41 - Living Proof of Successful Relationships
00:11:24 - Embracing Feminine Energy
00:17:26 - Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy
00:23:13 - The Role of Masculine Men in Fostering Femininity
00:29:04 - Trauma and Femininity
00:34:55 - The Importance of Accountability and Support in Men's Lives
00:40:43 - Working Together as a Team
00:46:32 - The Responsibility of Men
00:52:15 - I Know a Guy
Hi my name is Miss Mitchell I am 63 years old. I believe a strong woman is a woman who knows herself a woman who has an open heart and trusts but not in a foolish or unwise way and she shows respect and decency to others and treats everyone from a casual stranger to a family member or co-worker with respect and dignity and knows her boundaries including has no bad habits such as, smoking drinking, other than on special occasion, and doing drugs , because she knows her health is important for her well-being. I believe that is what makes a strong woman
What does it mean to "know yourself"?
I love this!❤
That's a wonderful perspective, Miss Mitchell! Knowing oneself, having an open heart, and showing respect to others are indeed qualities of strength and wisdom. Your values of maintaining health and boundaries also reflect a deep understanding of self-care. Thank you for sharing your inspiring definition of a strong woman!
I also really love asking “Who are men you respect?” And would also add, “Who are women you respect?” And WHY? Because that could be a 1st date question. I know this would have saved me a lot of heartache when I was dating because the men who respect no one, in turn won’t respect you either!!
Super important, great idea.
You’ll probably roast me and call me an asshole but I don’t really respect any women. Like not in the same way I respect certain men. I love a lot of women but I don’t respect them the way I do men. I think it has to do with fear. People shut up when a tough man is talking because they are afraid of him. Fear leads to respect. Women often get talked over because people aren’t scared of them. My wife tells me this a lot and I try to do better and not interrupt but it’s something I have to be conscious of. May not like it but if I’m wrong I’d like to hear what you think causes people to truly respect others. Also..I’m sure you’ve noticed that women interrupt women more than women interrupt men. Everyone interrupts women cause it’s kinda hard to be afraid of women
Just to clarify..when I say “respect” it’s more like “defer to his authority” like in a hierarchy way. This is the only way I understand it. If you mean “treat with dignity and love” then yeah I respect women. But when I think respect I think of a man I admire that I would want to be like
@@awsambdaman I appreciate you being honest. And I think I understand what you mean. I actually feel this is common but most men don’t admit it. You’re the only person who ever has.
I experienced this from men before and it doesn’t matter what my intelligence or success level is either. It’s irrelevant because men are not looking for that. I have found men to not respect my opinions, even if they care about me in other ways. Unfortunately, that eventually broke down my relationships and friendships.
The only suggestion I would make is to listen to your wife when she says it’s a problem. Because that means she still wants to work on it. When I stopped bringing it up, the guy thought I finally accepted it, but I actually was checked out and eventually walked away. :-(
@@awsambdaman Thank you. Yes, I do mean it in an authoritative kind of way. Respect me as a leader in some way. Even if in a relationship, friendship, or work setting.
I think there’s a practical aspect to a women pursing education for self development, building social bonds, and even if she finds a good husband, life is unpredictable so she needs to have some skills to support herself and kids in worse case scenarios. I grew up in a single parent home and my mom struggled financially all her life and stayed in her masculinity. I want different and am working through balancing my feminine and masculine energy. I want to be out of survival mode. Fingers crossed I find a good masculine man someday.
Ladies, let's stop saying "we want to find, I hope to find, etc." as it in itself is a masculine implication, it is an action word, and a woman need only be still, and be found. To find means one is out there seeking, how desperate and impatient can one be that instead of using our time to build ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, we are out searching for a man? Nooooooo ladies.
The egg need only be released and it is the sperm that travel all that way, to find 😉.
You can always get life insurance.
It’s hard to find men who want to step up and be masculine and be a provider so that women can fulfill their roles.
@@Lisa-ck5bm So you are denying women's right to be pursuing somebody they love? Are you saying we can only stand still and waiting for some men to love us, as if we are beggars waiting for someone else to have mercy on us and give us what we want?
@@sarahweizhenxu it isn't for me to deny anyone of their right to do as they please ..enjoy 😉
Listening to this I feel like American perception of masculine-feminine is way to different than us others.
Many of us have it very natural over here in Europe or Asia etc without defending being stay at home mom as the ultimate symbol of femininity!
Hence why men are grabbing their passports and marrying women in said countries. American women hate men and openly engage in misandrist behavior. No, thank you, I'm out✈️✈️✈️
I don't know why CZcams is deleting my comments, but I agree with you. It's why passportbros exist. American women hate men and openly engage in misandrist behavior. No, thank you, I'm out ✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️
Nobody cares about that. It’s really about the children and them having a great start and protection in life. Which is our highest duty. Pretty simple.
@kiradelarochefoucauld7499 that's an outright lie. Men care about this 100%. Why do you think passport bros are such a big movement and the fact women in American are always making TikToks asking where all the goodmen are? The men left because they don't wanna be treated like 2nd class citizens
@@kiradelarochefoucauld7499yes, however this is counterintuitive. It is important for both male and female raising figures in their life to be loved and cared for so children have that example and know how to do this when they grow up. It is not healthy for it to be a scarcity mindset of “children above everything”. Children absolutely are dependent and vulnerable and need these needs met by adults, but disregarding adults as humans with needs is not allowing children to see adults as humans who deserve love as well.
Loved this conversation! Thanks Adam! 🙏🏽 I’m in a 20 yr relationship, married for 17 yrs and I’ve always been in my feminine power. My husband allows me to flourish in that way, which makes him stand in his masculine power. It’s such a wonderful balance! Life just works and with ease 🙏🏽
Wow, great job! Thanks a lot for sharing and appreciate your kind feedback!!🙏
Ultimately the core of this conversation is working as a team. My friend is a stay at home dad that is very masculine, him and his wife work together as a complimentary team not competition
I do not know a single woman who is in her ‘masculine energy’ for reasons other than her male partner failing to step up to the plate and do their part.
And NOT because they are ‘emasculated’ by strong women, but because it is simply more comfortable to have less responsibilities.
This is another way to blame women for somehow failing to force their men to be masculine (like letting the power to be turned off).
I find that usually attempts to share the ‘masculine’ or any responsibilities are met with reluctance at best if not straight up aggression. Or by the male partner just leaving the relationship and finding someone else (usually younger) to impress instead of stepping up to the challenge.
Being in your feminine energy is NOT difficult with a partner who is actually interested in that and does his part to make it possible.
The reality is that now two incomes is often a requirement, so straightforward ‘traditional division of labor’ is not possible and it is on BOTH partners to adopt to the situation.
It doesn’t have to emasculate the men and deprive women of their ‘feminine’, but both parties need to participate willingly. Women can’t be expected to ‘force’ the men to ‘keep the lights on’.
When married and fulfilling traditional roles, and right before separation with divorce a year later he kept saying "you don't need me anymore." I told him I did need him, but he simply didn't show up time and time again after he said he'd do something. After, sometimes months, I would just do it myself. It led me to become a nag, something I never wanted to be. He traveled for work, but none of this became an issue, him not responding when I asked a question or him doing something he said he'd do until, I find out later, he was having affairs.
Excellently said
The irony of your comment. You complain (strawman) about all the blame being put on women but then do exactly that to men and say women are like that because men don't step up. The reductive analysis is nauseating.
Your right however you left out a major detail. She was attracted to Mr. Irresponsible for a reason.
Feminine women wouldn't last a month with those irresponsible guys... and masculine women wouldn't last a month with those responsible masculine guys.
So the masculine chick didn't become masculine... she always was masculine/provider. That's why she ended up with Mr loser.
Bingo, men are lazy. My sister has a lazy husband who doesn't have ambition or drive and let's my sister do everything, including raising her kids.
"don't want to farm my kids out to daycare" 🔥😂
Brutal but accurate!
Amen! Homeschool. It's the parents' responsibility to raise their children. Not the government and their agenda.
Sadly, not ALL men are workhorses and not all men respect their calling to lead. Some don’t take pride in their God-given positions and whine that they have to go to work, and since they get a paycheck that pays most of the bills, that means the wife’s jobs both in the home, with the kids, and out of the home, are unimportant and worth less.
I must ask... aren't you here whining about the work of being a homemaker?
So you're doing exactly what you're accusing him of?
@@SmartestDumbGuy She wouldn't whine if he did his job. Aren't men supposed to be leaders?
This is so powerful, I am 54, single and these words from both really resonated and helped me know what to look for to mentally relax and give my partner love and support so he can reciprocate
Thank you so much! Happy to hear that you found this helpful! :)
When you are just a working women, it's not so risky, because even if you wound up in a fucked up company, you can simply leave and find another job, and your previous professional experience would still look good on your resume. But if you are a stay at home mom, it's much more risky, because once your man (which is just one person, vs hundreds of people in a company) turns out to be a fucked up man, your life is over, even if you can divorce and build another relationship, it's much harder, because it's more difficult for a divorced single mom to find another husband. So, how do deal with this kind of risk in our life choice as a woman? Any suggestions?
It's true that both working women and stay-at-home moms face unique challenges. Finding a balance between personal fulfillment and managing risks in life choices is crucial. Supportive networks, financial independence, and self-care can empower women in navigating these challenges, regardless of their chosen path. If you need more guidance please feel free to reach out to me at support@adamlanesmith.com
When my husband and I married, we knew of God but we didn't have a relationship with him. My husband always had a healthy fear/love/respect/reverence for God even though he never studied the Bible. When that rough patch came, soon after marriage, we almost divorced.
One day we decided to read the bible, I can't remember why but we both drew closer in that. We both desired to still be married but didn't know how to communicate, be in our orders, and even had to learn to depend on him. In doing that, I am comforted, and he feels fulfilled in us trusting us to care for him. Ultimately, when you have a man that loves the Lord and wants to walk by God's order, he will not forsake his bride. The same for the wife. When you realize that your spouse is not God and is flawed, and growing to know the true God, you developed this grace and understanding for each other. It's so freeing.
When you trust God, you will be okay. It doesn't even have to be divorce, it could be death. But when you have a God fearing/loving man, he will cherish his bride, because that is the order that Godd set. He put those natural desires to trust and love one another in us. But when you are not connected to God, do not desire order. Chaos is the driving force.
100% speking from the experience of countless women!
I appreciate your conversations on couple dynamics. I wish it contained less blame being thrown at the feminist movement in this video. I worked for feminist organizations, have been part of groups for decades and taught women self-defense.. the things that you bring up are not at the core of this movement which encompasses millions of people across the world and isn’t a monolith. Many of us have been fighting for very simple things: a safe workplace, maternity leave, diminishing discrimination in hiring and so on. I’m a passionate woman in STEM, a few decades ago, I wouldn’t have been able to work in my field and exercise my talents. In other countries where women have fewer rights: the right to your own destiny, to choose your partner, to vote, drive. All things that I believe you would both be onboard with :) most people on Earth want a family, that includes feminists.
Thank you for saying that.
Exactly. Misandry is not real feminism. Feminism is about women exercising the right to engage with the world as full *human beings* without being held back or disrespected by people who think they only have one place.
THANK YOU! Hearing the feminist movement trashed was disappointing and disturbing.
Thank you for this! I was actually really disappointed by this video.
I loved this episode. I find a lot of videos on CZcams can be full of blame, fear, insecurity, talks of red flags and triggers and what to watch out for. This one was full of information, accountability and security for me. I appreciated it and felt like I was listening to and taking information in from people who knew more than me, and are living out their wisdom.
I'm so glad to hear that you found the episode informative and reassuring. It's important to focus on understanding and personal growth rather than blame and fear.
What specific insights or pieces of information from the episode resonated with you the most?
I hope this wasn't touched in the video but my job to fulfill my husband would be so much easier if I felt appreciated and simply loved by him outside of financial support.
You’re absolutely right, this needs to be a reciprocal relationship where both people feel loved and fulfilled. It cannot work otherwise.
Nice talk. it’s important for men and women to know what they want from a relationship, expect from the other and where they can be flexible. Also understanding each other’s role and how much masculine or feminine energy each other has. You should both want to enjoy life and improve while helping the other to be their best. Also understanding shit happens in life and never expecting perfection. Remembering your team and at the end of the day you put yourself in the situation you’re in.
Brillant talk… add one more thing … in an imperfect world with imperfect people - let’s add forgiveness, tolerance and patience to work through our errors… I love to nuture husband and family but illness some years ago strained everything - sometimes you get lost along the way. I have a masculine mind and communication - so working on rebalancing and owning my stuff for growth and healing someday 🙏🏽💜😇. Thank you Adam for a wonderful helpful real exchange of male and female energy. I wish there was more social respect and honor to the role of wife and mother in the home. Children need it. 🙏🏽💜
Your perspective on forgiveness, tolerance, and patience is inspiring. Balancing personal growth while nurturing family is a journey many can relate to. Recognizing and owning our strengths and weaknesses fosters healing and resilience. Social recognition of the vital roles of wife and mother can indeed elevate family dynamics and support children's well-being. ❤🙏
Your daughter's college professor wasn't "intimidated" - she was feigning "scared" so that she could act out abusively.
Herbert Marcuse called this aggressive victimhood, and leftist schools have been teaching this as a deliberate tactic since the 60s.
Appreciate your perspective on the situation!
People may act out abusively when they are intimidated :)
@@nakitanash Nah, they know. It's a self-deceit mechanism.
@@michaelallen1154
I definitely wasn't excusing it! I think it is a type of bullying
It seems she didn't need the excuse of being "scared" 😕
Daniele is amazing I love her. Thanks to you both for this great conversation
Absolutely! Glad you enjoyed it!
Hi Adam, I just discovered you and I've heard you mention in multiple of your videos about the type of defensive comments you get from girls... "It's not my job to make sure he stays faithful" etc etc etc.... I'm such an introvert because most people confuse me and I can't understand their immature behavior so I stay pretty secluded. What I've heard you say about the comments you get just really makes me want to say thank you for dealing with that childish behavior, and doing what you do because I've learned a lot from you already and I'm sure what you teach has incredibly lasting, powerful effects - even on people who resist what you say... I'm sure a seed is planted that's undeniable and will grow when its ready.
Great interview, and I've gotta say, Daniele in her 60's, she's gorgeous... I feel like that's probably in massive part a result of what you talked about... when you have a man in your life that sets up a safe container, you have room to play and be happy...
Sad that that seems like a pipe dream... but education for both men and women on how we can best help each other (like what you teach) I hope helps make that scenario become more real/possible for everyone who doesn't have it.
Thank you for your thoughtful words and support. It means a lot to hear that my work has had a positive impact on you. Building understanding between men and women is important, and I'm glad you find value in the discussions. Wishing you continued growth and insight. 🌟
Adam as always so edifying!! Brilliant,.very needed discussion this day in age. I have been learning about fully stepping into my femininity although I often enjoy doing what is considered some masculine things. Learning to receive without my internal stigma of being needy or taking advantage of a man, or even seeming transactional. Thank you again.
Also don't know if you did you course giveaway yet But...hey remember me 😅😅😁😁😁
Loved this interview ❤
This was fantastic! Thank you both
Appreciate your kind feedback. Glad you enjoyed it!
I like her. She's right. I just struggle to listen to unfocused chatter. I could not watch this twice but she is lovely.
That’s fair but usually side by side ‘zoom’ videos tend to be more casual, it’s not as tightly edited as his usual content.
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for your kind feedback!
She is just being a goddess. I used to speak in that unfocused way to men, then I learned they want me to “tell the story backwards “ or start with the point then say how I got there. Women do it differently with each other, because we get oxytocin from this chatter (when in person), men do not.
@@SC-sh6ux Which women? *This* woman does not.
I can’t stress enough how helpful this was. Thank y’all so much!!!!!🙏
So glad it helped!!🙏
I agree with a lot said here and can understand the basis for it. It feels better in the relationship for the woman to be in her feminine and the man to be in his masculine. However, I think pushing it into not paying the bills because the guy said he would is getting into risky territory.
I hear you. It’s definitely important to make sure you’ve still got a roof over your head.
This is just amazing!! Truly inspiring. 🙏💯
Glad you enjoyed it! ❤👍
❤ Omg! I love this video sooooo much.
Thank you. So glad to hear that! ❤
Loved this conversation! ❤
Glad to hear it! ❤
Is it just me, 😅 is the opposite of faithfulness betrayal, and once bitten twice shy, can produce wisdom, are we really asking: is the world of good men and good women ready to receive eachother so we are not islands of workhorses in favor of living out fulfillment of our dreams and hopes in a realm of safe nurturing social structures 😊
As a single man, this helped me understand what I should be looking for in a partner.
What a lovely woman! I want to hear more from her! I want my girls to be secure and feminine and value all those same things. Not because it's their identity, but because I wish I was raised that way. My family gives me so much happiness and purpose and joy. Your videos are changing me and saving my marriage. I just started, but I know that your approach is exactly what my husband and I need. I already had a productive conversation with my husband, and it was so unnatural and cringy for me at first, lol, but it was so needed. Thank you for your hard work Adam.
Thank you so much for your feedback, it makes me so happy to hear how much these videos are positively impacting your life and relationship. Keep doing the hard work because it's worth it, and let me know if you need any extra help or support!
I appreciate the value Adam brings to the conversation about avoidant men. And there are times when women want to try to work it out with such men. I have learnt pretty recently from your channel that this was a lost cause for me. I am greatly relieved that I have learnt my boundaries. It's time to cut my losses. I no longer look back now. Thank you. Women should know when to let go. I prefer securely attached men now.
Glad that you reached this point of realization and patiently embraced your self-worth.
This conversation is silly. All the women that I know who work full time and have their education are VERY FEMININE. they are obsessed with their kids and are excellent mothers, they ALSO bake bread and provide loving homes for their family. They treat their husbands very well, so let's STOP acting like being a working mom means you are masculine. This just sounds SILLY. ALSO, I know plenty of stay at home mom's who are not good moms. Being at home doesn't make you an excellent parent or a feminine woman🤣🤣🤣 geez this is presumptive. So disappointing. And I'm speaking as a stay at home mom for 20 years who joined the work force after my kids grew up. I'm no better or no worse a woman either way.
Fantastic Episode, agree will all said. Wish more were in hearing this so people would stop divorcing and stop remaining single.
Glad you enjoyed the episode! It's great to see agreement on important topics. Thanks!
Thankyou! Finally someone’s saying the truth.
Appreciate your kind feedback ❤👍
Adam! If I may humbly request could you and the wife do a Q&A on marriages? Also would like to see your amazing wife too! She sounds like an amazing women and we need more role models like her 🙏❤️ Well technically we need role models like you both. 😄👍
Hey, Tiffany! Thank you for your kind words and suggestion! We'll definitely consider a Q&A on marriages. Appreciate your support and encouragement! 🙏❤️
Good conversation, thanks :)
Glad you enjoyed it!
This just helped me solidify that I had made a very right choice to end a situationship with my former DA recently. It’s just not fair to deny all the femininity I have to offer a healthy man that is going to make me feel secure so that I may carry on about my female ways.
I'm glad you found clarity and made a decision that aligns with your happiness and security. Embracing your femininity and being with someone who values and supports you is crucial. Wishing you all the best on your journey forward! 🌟
Towards the end when you asked what should women bring to the relationship you said give him what he needs when does it get to the point where he started getting lazy and stays in feminine
Greatest chat ever, brilliant, we need this, thank you to both of you ❤💐🙏 absolutely agree and taking this on, moving into my more feminine finally age 48 😊
Thank you for your kind words! Embracing your feminine side is a beautiful journey at any age. How do you plan to nurture and express this newfound aspect of yourself?
Daniele is a delight!! ❤
She absolutely is! I really enjoyed having this discussion with her, and hope we can have another conversation soon. What would you like to see us talk about in upcoming content?
I loved this video❤
So happy to hear that! ❤
The only thing I don’t know what to do is my fiancé is avoidant but he does try to make me happy so he wants me to the boss, how do I be feminine with being the boss? I don’t want him to feel controlled by my wants that he tries to cater to?
I always do every single thing for him.. I’m such a lover I can’t physically feel okay letting him fail bc we fail then
I’m from Wisconsin too (:
I don’t think it’s possible to be the boss and be “in your feminine”
Don't get married until he fixes his avoident attachment style to secure. I'm qualified to tell you this because I have been married to an avoidant man the last 25 years. You both need to have a conversation about what his responsibilities are and what your are in all areas of your life. Each person should be carrying responsibilities and both of you need to take responsibility for the health of the relationship
Is it possible that if we apply this thinking all the way through, there would be serious ramifications for leadership positions in government, academia, medicine, the judiciary etc. ? Are you really suggesting the world would be better if the leadership positions are held by men and women who aren’t married and/or childless? It sounds like the suggestion is that if it’s not financially necessary, women should ideally be stay at home mothers and homemakers? Perhaps I’ve got the wrong end of the stick - I love your attachment work and your new course is fantastic - it seems as if you might be targeting a traditional conservative religious demographic? Or perhaps that’s more likely to generate comments which is good for your algorithm? I might be in the minority but I do hope your channel doesn’t morph into a quasi conservative religious channel because it seems possible that there’s a lot of us non-believer progressives who really need your goodly works on attachment too!
Adam i have a legitimate question, are you deleting my comments or is youtube deleting my comments? Ive been nothing but respectful and polite in my discourse but my comments are getting deleted
You did originally respond to Foxy Whisperer and I see your comments are still there from 6 hours ago.
@@solutions4tenants141 there was more but it was deleted
No, I’m not deleting anything from my end. I’m happy to have people disagree, that’s what makes a great conversation. Is it possible you’re using any words that CZcams is going to censor? They’re rather strict about that.
Why do WOMEN always have to pick better? How about men BE better men and not pretend to be something they're not in the beginning? They are perfect gentleman when on the hunt but once a woman has bonded they switch into something we did not sign up for! Good, healed men are so hard to find today
Right we're supposed to magically know how they will act after they change.
Adam you talked about the risks men go through in workforce, the female equivalent is women risking their lives giving birth. The most valuable thing women bring to the table is their womb. Many women have back pain when they receive an epidural and it lasts a lifetime for most women.
My sex organs are not the most valuable thing about me.
I think this is ok if you are a very traditional type of person. I personally don't believe in feminine or masculine energy.
Interesting perspective! Thanks for sharing!
I ❤️ secure men and women! 💯😂
Haha, love that! 👍🎉
You guys are freakin awesome!!
Thank you, appreciate that! Which part of this conversation was your favorite?
Right On!
❤👍
I love this.
Glad you do! Which part stood out the most to you?
This sounds like great advice if you want a pet, not a partner. It feels like this lady conceptualizes women as more or less opinionated furniture. And the fact so many over-fifty single people are agreeing with her should tell you where this world view leads.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. Could you share more about why you feel that way?
Yeah I kinda get tired of the women who preach “being in your feminine”..from what I see it’s mostly just about relaxing and letting men do everything for you. The feminine women I know had lots of kids and had their hands full. A feminine woman without kids is like a masculine man without a job..it doesn’t really make sense
@@awsambdaman Women are more than their wombs, Some women can't have kids or choose not to have them. They are not less than for it. In 2024 both men and women work, your comparing two different things.
@6:26 Ma’am your daughter could have slapped the college with discrimination. That’s not okay for any teacher/ professor to treat there student like that.
Thank you for your support! Absolutely, discrimination is never okay.
She's a keeper
Absolutely!
Ok wait, men working for a living is a thing they would do even if they didn’t have a family so that cannot be the only thing they bring to the table. Sorry not sorry.
It is if you wanna rely on that income to survive. And yes, obviously not the only thing. Did Adam say that??? I find that hard to believe that he said all men need to do is work and that’s enough
@@awsambdaman Why are you asking me what he said? Did you watch the video? Did I say that was what he said? No I did not. I just know that some men think that because my soon-to-be-ex-husband thought that. So I was clarifying the point.
They are saying a lot that I agree with, but they are leaving a lot left unsaid that sadly needs to be said, because young men today don’t know. You can’t assume they know, they don’t.
If I have to work full time, and keep house, full time, and raise the kids full time what do I need a man for?
If a man wants his whole paycheck to go to his beer, snacks, and toy collection he should not get married.
Anna57646 Well you did use the word “only” so I was kinda going off that. No I didn’t watch the video I came straight to the comments so you got me there. I’d wager your current relationship may be coloring your view of men/relationships. And also I guess you don’t need a man, sounds like you’ve got it all handled! I will add though, children need a father, cause dad isn’t there for mom (necessarily) dad is there for the kids. So if you have kids and want the best for them, should probably work that out. But sounds like you’ve got the rest covered!
@@awsambdaman Why are you even in the comments for an almost hour long video you didn’t bother to watch!?!
Children need a GOOD father, not a DEADBEAT. Telling women they need to stay with a worthless husband because it is in the best interest of the kids is misguided. My soon-to-be-ex-husband was not an asset to my kid I assure you. Telling me to subject her and myself to his malignant neglect is only continuing abusive systems.
I know what is in my kid’s interest not you. You are a stranger on the internet!
Do not dismiss my experience as some kind of one off like it’s just me. Open your eyes and look around. I’m not the only one.
Anna57646 No you’re the stranger not me. And sorry I’m kinda half joking. I do believe there’s a lot of men and women that hate each other, and while I understand the reasons we can’t excuse the behavior. I’m sure you had a shitty time with your ex husband so I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t like feeling invalidated so I don’t want you to feel that either. Also
Older men need to mentor younger men in how to be men. Men haven’t done that for this generation and now they’re blaming women for not “submitting”. Submitting to a man-child will not make him a man. He has to find that inside himself on his own. Stop blaming women for all the Peter Pan’s in the world. It is choice they are making.
Honestly I probably disagree with you on most things but I have to agree with that. You’re right, a man does not become a man just because a woman submits to him.
@@awsambdaman I find it interesting that you are making assumptions about my views on “most things” based on 1 previous comment. You don’t know my life.
@Anna57646 You seem jaded so I was assuming you lowkey hate men. Just a guess based on the vibe your comment had
Adam can you discuss the coolidge effect in men, since you brought up cheating. I would also love it if you would collaborate with Alexander Grace on CZcams.
Also what happens when let’s say the women is going through a very tough time in her life etc tragedy of some sort do you still think of taking care of ur mans wounds from working a ft job . Etc
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What if his decompress is six hours? Every day?
That’s 42 hours a week and sounds unsustainable for a marriage
15:10 *entrepreneur as well
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as a Strong Woman, I would have told the ADMIN of that college to REFUND my TUITION for that kind of Mind Control BS. ps, I raised 3 kids as a stay at home mom. 2 grands.
Strong? Self respect makes you "strong?" That's sad. 😏
@@eyekantbeme you “can’t be yourself@ and you’re lecturing me. lol.
@eyekantbeme Strong sense of identity and personality counts as strength, sure. Being willing to act on one's convictions is strength, also. Raising children that reproduce? Definitely strong.
Casting aspersion on very limited information? Doesn't really track.
@@jeremykiahsobyk102 I would not PAY for Leftist garbage. You might. Not me. Don't need your approval either!
@@kiradelarochefoucauld7499 Are you sure you think one small neglectable comment on the Internet from said commenter is lecturing anyone? Well the commenter doesn't think so. I literally stated an opinion. I'm sorry you disagree, but wasting your time on it is silly. I'm sure there are more valuable and empowering comments to be approached. Thank you for caring about my opinion, but I believe there are more thorough and empowering comments that will benefit you and others more than my derogatory commentary. Regards,
Jeremy
Like attracts like
Well said!
I could've asked my grandma for a christianoid outdated advice. I'm going to pick up my horse from the blacksmith later today and get those fancy ladies for sure. 🤷
What's a more modernized perspective? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
Remember ladies, if you're married and you need your man to help you out around the house all you have to do is go up to him give him a hug and kiss when you first see him say hi I missed you today start with something positive ask how his day was let him talk a little bit if he likes to talk and then sweetheart could you do me a favor it, it would really make me happy if you can help me do whatever task it is that you need him to do period Once he does it don't criticize If you think he didn't do as good as a job as you could have done remember men are not women when it comes to household chores and things and the white color man is exactly blue color worker when it comes to yard work or handling tools. Then thank him give him a kiss maybe even later give him a nice little reward whatever you think that is surprise him trust me when I say this and willing to help in the future if he loves and cares about your happiness and also knows that you care about his
Thanks for sharing these thoughtful tips! Communication and appreciation are key in any relationship, especially when it comes to sharing household tasks. Mutual respect and understanding go a long way in fostering harmony.
Ridiculous. Grown-ass men should NOT be rewarded num-nums like giant toddlers for doing the *bare minimum* of what capable adults should be doing, which is cleaning up after themselves and basic housework. That is the height of *infantilism!* Men can’t expect respect if they constantly have to be reminded to take care of themselves and act like one of the grownups living in the home.
Men are not "helping" their wives do household tasks. You don't deserve praise for doing the bare minimum. Men feeling entitled to praise for making the danm bed is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. Be an adult. Do half the housework, and don't expect a medal for it unless you also praise her the same way. This is so stupid.
You misspelled femininity…you wrote feminity lol in your title
Thanks for pointing that out. I will correct it.
Well, I as a woman crave orthography. You're missing a "ni" in your thumbnail, and I'm not talking about Monty Python's Holy Grail.
You totally murdered the spelling of femininity on the cover photo image.
That second "n" always trips people up.
Feminism is simple- if the woman gets what she wants, she’s empowered. If she doesn’t get what she wants, she oppressed.
I'm sure a lot of feminists would disagree. What helped you form this conclusion?
My mom…
I may have also been radicalized by twitter. The statement was too blank
This is ONLY valid with a good man. So, please teach more about what is a good man, and let us all better become securely attached. Because, when I think back I can see myself trying to be feminine with week and unreliable men. You have to do both, learn femininity AND learn to set healthy boundaries (but many young women don't even know what are these and cannot distinguish between good and week men)
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Nope - the feminist movement did not devalue motherhood. Feminism is about CHOICES. It taught/teaches that working outside the home or seeking fulfillment outside of being a wife and mother must be an available option- that girls must be as prepared to take advantage of that option as boys. I am a feminist with a graduate degree in Women’s Studies. I know actual facts about what feminism means, not just the BS people are fed by popular culture. My personal choice was to get married and have children and raise them myself. That was a CHOICE for me rather than the ONLY option because of feminism. And it is for all of us for the same reason.
That's a powerful perspective. What are some of the biggest challenges you see women facing today when it comes to balancing career and motherhood (or choosing not to have children at all)?
This is too red pill
Which side? Because we’re both aggressively against redpill
I find these "pills" too hard to define, like music genres. I scratch my head more than I have clarity.
I know what you’re saying. I think red pill also focuses on strict gender roles but does so from an abuse and control standpoint. In this conversation, it’s more from a religious and traditional point of view, and not in a harmful way.
@AttachmentAdam I really think you are red pill. After hearing you announce a collaboration with Mr Phychacks himself it was confirmed. That guy is a grade A misogynist.
Too much religion in this discussion. Leave religion out. It's irrelevant for most people these days.
Nah Gen Z is turning to Christianity we believe in God again. All my brothers fell away in our teenage years and were being ourselves and our wives back to church. I’m excited for Gen Z to come back
Yes, thank you. Too much religious crap. I agree!
Lets not beat around the bush to make it sound appealing to boss babes by using words like "strong woman" in the context of a woman who obeys her husband in all matters. Women absolutely ARE to be PASSIVE and quiet to the mans decisions and submit to him completely, not speak much in his presence, give him as much intercorse as we wants and how he wants, do housework. Thats all there is to know, men are basic. It's not a partnership either, because we aren't equal.
Bro stop. You can believe there’s truth to redpill and masculine/feminine dynamics but you went way overboard. Come back to the light brother we’re waiting for you
@@awsambdaman First things first, I deeply appreaciate that a man like yourself is protective of women and would call a man out if he were going overboard. You have my respect in that regard.
I'm a young (religious) woman. The reason behind my bluntness was because in this video it just felt like making the role of the wife and submission sound like unicorns and butterflies when it's simply not - they prolly have their valid reasons to make it sound that way, perhaps sothat women on a larger scale are more likely to receive this information better. I agree with their message, I just simply disagree with the euphemisms.
I’m curious since you said “we are equal”. Are you someone who believes in 50-50?
It's sad to see men like this still exist. Take your misogyny and go back to the 1950's.