r/AmITheA**hole for Banning My Racist Mom from My Wedding?
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2024
- r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a Latina woman who has fallen in love with a white guy of Irish descent. As a result, OP's fiancé doesn't grow much facial hair. This is a point of constant criticism from OP's mother, who thinks that only real men can grow a full beard. Things eventually blow up when OP's mom buys the fiancé a shaving set as a way to mock his lack of masculinity. OP flips out and bans her mother from the wedding. Does that make her the butthole?
00:05 u/Far-Experience2070 Nipples
03:00 u/Youn2o1 Infertile
04:58 u/ThrowraMom567 No wedding for you
08:00 u/Dimirosch The verdict
10:05 u/Throwra324467 Don’t prank your meal ticket
13:35 u/JeepersCreepers74 Response prank
14:50 u/lazy-fiancee This changes everything
🍑 r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? • r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
linktr.ee/rslash
#reddit #AmITheButthole #funnyredditposts
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
The CZcams Titty Committee (YTC) has selected me as the official Nipple Cop.
I wanted to let all my viewers know that you can do whatever you want with your magnificent mammaries, because it's your body and you can do what you want with it 🤷
What an HONOR! Congrats!!! 🙌🤣
N I P P I E C O P
I am so proud of you
Titty Sprinkles. That is all.
Thanks, rSlash!
I call dibs on the name "Magnificent Mammaries. " That's gonna be the name of my band. /j
"I'm brutally honest, it's just the way i am"
translation: "I'm extremely bitchy and cruel but don't want to suffer the consequences of my actions."
what I was thinking lol
I had a brother in law who used to make that excuse. I say had... he's still married to my sister but nobody talks to either of them anymore. STFU Jim! You're not funny, you're just a dick.
Or they could just be Autistic.
@@wannabehistorian371 huh? I don't know any autistic people irl (I'm not even sure how many are there in my country), but the ones I see online seem to be ok people. Is being a bitch a symptom of autism?
@@b-zar8912 Not precisely, but not being able to realize that you’re being a b!tch, not being able to emphasize or relate to why something is hurtful, and not always remembering what is hurtful in certain situations, potentially is. Many of us are not able to read the room, and trying to do so constantly is tiring.
The first one got an update. After that encounter she went to the gym and on a particular day she was wearing a bra because of reasons and recorded her sets for training purposes. The guy (that visits the gym at the same time as she does apparently) spoke to her again and commented that her statur war so much better now that she was wearing a bra. With the video footage she went to the manager and the guy got banned for 30 days.
that's good news, i love update stories 😊 thank you
Yeah that’s subtle harassment so it’s good he got banned
that is good news, though, to be honest, he should have been banned for more than 30 days.
@@Viktor_ginger_Tabby it’s like Facebook and it’s virtue signalling 24 hour bans lol it’s not a big deal in the end is useless
@@the_rachel_sam well no because it’s a 30 day ban for a real life thing, that can’t be circumvented too.
"Your niece is a dumb teenager who did a stupid prank." That's the thing though, it wasn't a stupid prank. She deliberately chose to "prank them" about something she knows is hurting them. If she had written anything else that had nothing to do with their infertility I'd agree that it's an overreaction. But she didn't. She made the active choice to poke fun at something they are struggling with. OP is justified in their decision.
It wasn't a "dumb teenager prank." That shit went on for two months and she knew EXACTLY what they were going through as well as how much they were hurting. She isn't sorry for what she did, she's just sorry she's been caught and facing consequences.
@@soniakernel754 Exactly my point.
I agree 100%! At 16 you know right from wrong, you know that "pranking" people with something that is a cause of pain is just cruel...that's the perfect word to use for this teenager...cruel! I honestly think that this 16 yo deserves a ROCK SOLID 5/5 AH score for this! And OP was for sure in the right to take back the college fund!
A stupid prank defense would maaybee work if it was a 1 and done - but for 2 months where she knows this issue is a huge painful problem? No it went from a prank to effectively using a salt covered stick to poke the wound repeatedly. I think the OP is justified.
@@soniakernel754 Yes you are right
When she criticised him for not being able to grow a beard I immediately went to “can you give me some advice about how you grow yours?”
😅
In that niece prank story, I think the BIL deserves MASSIVE butthole points. He knew who's handwriting that was! He tried to stop his wife exposing her. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew the WHOLE TIME and said nothing because, just from how OP described him, he thought it was just as funny and was jealous that he didn't think of it
Then again, maybe he did think of it and convinced his daughter that it would be a funny “prank” to pull.
and this detail is what dissuaded me from thinking OP was the butthole in the story. That small, minute detail is what kept me from wanting to go off on OP. I feel like that BIL knew it was her but only just owned up to it. The fact that it wasn’t even just the niece in that “prank” made me much more pissed off at them
I've read that story on another video. A lot of people are saying that BIL told his daughter to do all that.
I dont think we should really automatically assume malicous intent. Personally I saw it as him wanting to settle it in private once he noticed so he can deal with the problem.
Was it the right decision? I don't think so, but you cant know what a persons intentions or thoughts were from one simple action
@@noodles9538 one simple action? Are you serious? She's been doing it for 2 months! Who was laughing all those months? Certainly not OP. That's the CRUELEST thing i've heard. They're trying and trying to get pregnant and someone keeps messing wih them about this. Infertility isn't a joke. She and her dad are both wrong. No one jokes or pranks about that. Besides it's OP's money he can take it back any time. It's the parent's responsibility to provide for a child not the uncle 🙄
It’s not the fact that the gift was shaving tools and shaving cream. It’s the fact that they continually made fun of him not being able to grow a beard. It’s the fact that OP’s mom has no respect for the love of her life.
Exactly, it's straight up bullying and it's not ok. Not racist like rslash said, but definitely bullying. It's just horrible behaviour
@@EOR2742 if his inability to grow a beard is related to his race - and it very much can be, different races can grow hair differently - then it absolutely is racism to continually pick him up on it. It would be like continually picking on a black person's hair because its not like a white person's hair.
@@Oreztar It's not related to his race, OP said he's of Irish descent and it's not really a thing that Irish people can't grow beards. Source: am Irish
@@Oreztar except that Irish people do and don’t have beards. And she wasnt mentioning anything to do with his race, jjst masculinity the entire time being an asshole. She could be a racist, but her actions cannot be called racist when we know this little. Only thing even mentioned about race IS that he’s white, and her family is Hispanic.
So no please do not use that false equivalence
@@kingofgrim4761 I'm only saying what she, the person who actually knows the man, gave as the reason.
Which presumably means it's the reason HE gave too.
I'm aware many Irish people can grow beards.......
First of all, yes, you ARE responsible for someone's reaction when you are making a joke at their expense. To say otherwise is gaslighting manipulative behavior.
Plus OPs fiancé reacted in an incrediblly mature way. He removed himself. Its one of the hardest reactions to choose in that situation. Most peoples first reaction is to explode, which is justified, but the fact that he just got up and left is a huge power play.
You’re right, a prank is only funny if both parties can laugh at it in the end. Anything else is just needless cruelty
“I’m just brutally honest”
“I’m a jerk who uses that as an excuse for being a jerk”
There are moments where brutal honesty is appropriate. Being brutally honest all the time, though? That's just being rude.
"Stay more balanced", yes because that's what a bra does. It balances us woman. Without them, we trip and fall everywhere 🤣😅🤣
Edit: Damn, 2yrs later and this is still going strong 😉thanks 😊 I have so many other things I've wanted to say about this subject that I've wanted to add but you've rocked it! Just remember to take your bras off at 12pm est on December 31st 2023 if you live in the northern hemisphere. Let's see what happens, lol 😆 can you imagine. Men would have Chastity bras made 🤣
Don't you just hate it when you constantly slip in the shower without your bra on? Don't get me started on getting dressed in the morning. Absolutely impossible without my chest balancers
@@Box-Of-Rox this is accurate. once my wife forgot to wear a bra, and while out walking we got stopped by a police officer who told her that it was not ok to be that drunk and that she had to go to the station and sleep it off. but when she told him that she just forgot her bra at home, he completely understood and left her with a warning. crazy, right? xD
My balls do that all the time. Trip everywhere. Haha
Knew it, I'm gna get one now 🤪 🤣
Even with a bra I still trip
The prank of the niece was enacted over at least two months - that's a lot of concerted effort on the part of the niece for something she claims to be 'innocent' and 'without malice'. I think OP is perfectly justified in closing down the college fund.
Same.
Plus the struggle to use an unknown #, go to his job, wait for him to show up at her house or her his house, even just thinking of doing it.
Indeed: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes...
Also shes 16? She is grown up enough to KNOW that it was wrong, it was no harmless prank- she spents months and not once thought it was wrong? I call BS
Same
"You're abusing your fertility!"
Wh...what does that even mean? Unless OP already has like 15 kids, i don't get how they could be abusing their fertility
I... ...I have no idea what it means. 🧐
Tell her she's abusing her mouth by saying that 🤓
She was playing a very dangerous game with a pregnant girl. She’s lucky she only walked away with some light emotional scarring.
I know! When they said that I was like what the actual fuck? How does one abuse fertility? I didn’t even know that could be a thing . Maybe that lady that has like 100 kids. Other than a situation like that , having a child is not abusing your fertility. She’s just jealous of anyone that can have a child .
“Abusing your fertility” as in “this is a personal attack against me.”
Jealousy is truly a disease.
For the "brutally honest" mother banned from the wedding, all she has to do is to apologies. How hard is that ?
Ego is too impirtant for her.
For someone who just "calls it like she sees 'em" that is incredibly tough. Imagine identifying with being truth incarnated and then taste your own medicine and it sure is bitter?
For those like her, apologies are *impossible.*
Truly pathetic.
One of the earliest things I feel many children learn is to begrudgingly utter out an empty apology. (Don't you love when as a child an adult told you to say your sorry but not why? Point is, even if it's meaningless, it's not hard to say "I'm sorry")
Latino moms NEVER APOLOGIZE.
For the college fund story, after hearing it again, I can tell that the brother definitely knew. The moment he told his wife to stop before OP called the niece down is a dead give away.
The way he was trying to stop his wife, I kinda feel like he was in on it from the beginning. Like he knew she was doing it. But didn't stop her. That's pretty awful, I'd cut off the money too. She'll learn a little respect for others. Maybe if she shows how she realizes she was being a butt then u can give the money back at a later date but you definitely don't have to.
That is a distinct possibility.
Yes, honestly I think the BIL is just using the daughter so he doesn't get in trouble
he thought that it was funny, but also tried to hedge his bets so that he didn’t get the blame when she got found out.
his real issue is that he’s upset that he’s on the hook for his moronic daughter’s actions since his brother pulled his money out
Is it just me or did it seem like the brother knew what his daughter was doing? As soon as his wife mentioned the writing looked like their daughter’s he said “stop”. Almost as if he knew what she was doing and didn’t want her to get in trouble for it.
Yeeee I thought that too after reading a few comments , seems awfully sus...
Exactly, that's what I was thinking
I somewhat agree, it could also be that he knows that she talks about that and he doesn’t even wanna hear not just not wanting her to not get in trouble
If he cared so much he should've started collecting the funds
I honestly had the thought of maybe the brother was in on it. He could have been the mastermind using his daughter to achieve his goal.
"She was a dumb teen who did a stupid prank"
Did you missed the fact that this wasn't even a single time occurence but a whole TWO MONTH LONG CAMPAIGN?!
There is a difference between "making a stupid mistake once" and "being a horrible person for a long period of time".
If she really loved her uncle and aunt she wouldn't had go so much out of her way just to insult them for two straight months.
I agree. This prank was never funny to begin with, but if it ever was funny, 3 times is max. If you do something for 2 months, you have ill intentions. The father is also sus because he shushed the mom. So wtf is happening in this family
I completely agree with both of you. I was uncomfortable listening to their "excuses." You don't do THAT to LOVED ones.
"Don't die on a hill we think that's not worth it"
Said the family that rather die on a hill of pranks then apologise for the cruel prank they know would hurt deep.
IF OP BACKS DOWN NOW ON WHAT HIS NIECE DID THEN HE'S TELLING HER IT'S OKAY. WHAT SHE DID WAS MONSTROUS.
Agreed! What she did was hideous and cruel. She can use her own brain and figure out how to pay for college.
Exactly. My husband and I have been trying for 8 years. We made our boundaries very clear in year three after a similar “prank” sent me into a deep depression. Now, we give no warning. I cut several family members off in 2017. I didn’t realize how much toxicity I had normalized.
Yup. If she acted at that level in public, she might be in jail.
Not to mention it wasn't a "spur of the moment" jumping into a bad judgment call without thinking. She'd been doing this for TWO MONTHS!!! Plenty of time for thought and maybe a little "hey, this might not be nice."
She was getting something for nothing and was spoiled enough to believe she could torment her benefactor with no repercussions. This is a lesson she desperately needs to learn.
Of OP gives in, she will never take responsibility for her actions. This could be the turning point in her personal growth. He needs to stand strong and let her reap the thorns that she so cruelly sowed.
(Wow meds are kicking in lol, waxing poetic a bit 😝)
Seriously. My wife and I have been struggling with infertility, and just little reminders hurt. With all the constantly fluxing hormones on my end and the cycle of hope and let downs, I legitimately don't know what would happen to our mental health if someone did something like that.
OP's niece is 16 years old. She's 2 years away from being an adult. She knows exactly what she did
Yeah, there is no “OOPS!” at that age. She wanted to see how far she could get away with it then turn on the crocodile tears when she got caught. She was expecting forgiveness but when she was met with punishment, she freaks and tries to sweet talk. I would know because that is my younger brother.
I would accept it as stupid prank (and I really hate those kinds of pranks) if it was like 1-2 messages/letters, because yeah 16 year olds can be caught up in their own stupidity.
But she was doing it for MONTHS and at that point there is just no excuse. It's cruel and hurtful and she deserves the consequences of her actions.
Id continue saving for her over the next two years but they would have no idea , I would let her know the money is gone I spent it on a vacation and I would see what she does with herself when she thinks she doesn't have a free ride , does she work hard to get scholarships? Does she slack off ? If she works hard but still falls short its ok heres the money if she slacks off and continues to be immature then no money .
@@Cellaperian I think you’re missing the point
You're not really an adult at 18. Best to describe it as preadult. Similar to preteen. 21 is when you're classified in all legal terms as an actual adult.
I'm actually going to have to disagree with Rslash on the niece prank story. From somebody that dealt with infertility and the toll it takes on your body as well as your mental health is no joke. She might be a teenager but she knows right from wrong. I don't think he went too far. And it's also not his responsibility to pay for her college, he was just doing something nice for her. And based on her father's reaction he definitely knew she was doing it
I thought you said you were going to disagree with Rslash.
@@andrewvelonis5940 rslash said he agreed it was a trade prank but that OP went too far, this person is disagreeing with the statement that the person went too far
i second this for the same reasons...
I don't disagree with RSlash much but the first thing that came to my mind was "she's f-ing 16 man, I knew better than to do this at 12. You just don't *bully* someone like that, it's straight up inhumane" and using the fact that she was still "young" and maybe didn't understand what was going on was straight up dumb because she is only 2 years from being an adult
@@rayusremy I knew a couple who were family friends, they too were suffering from infertility, and I always saw them a little sad, and at one point when I asked my mum, she told me their story, I was 12 at that time and I remember feeling extremely bad for them (that's why I still remember them - even though I saw them maybe 2-3 times at gatherings). So, my point is, if a 12 years old understands that infertility is not something to be joked around with, then a 16 year old "semi-adult" should know too.
That infertility story is honestly scary. That girl needs to put a lot of distance between her and her sister. Like, a restraining order because honestly, her sister or even her parents might try something unsavory.
Third story : A beard doesn't make someone manly. That's just HER preference. She's not the one going out with him. Honestly, I would much rather have no facial hair at all, so I'm kind of jealous of him. It's a pain having to keep it clean, to shave it every day, etc. They are just bullies. NTA.
I agree. I hate my facial hair and wish I couldn’t grow any at all.
Personally I prefer men without facial her, I bet a lot women do. Why were they harassing the guy in the first place? He had great genes apparently
Wasn't clean shaven like one of most attractive facial styles anyways
I definitely prefer men with facial hair. My dh has a beard and so does our son. That is because they want the facial hair. If they want to go clean shaven I will support them.
mom is upset that she has a thicker mustache that she has to hide
I feel like there's more to the niece story. The stepmom clearly didn't know what was going on, but the Dad? He tried to shut her up. I feel like based on the Niece's AND Father's reaction that he may have had a hand in either excusing away the behavior or having a direct hand in it. Either way, he definitely knew.
I don't think he had a hand in it or the niece may have said so. I think he found out about it and didn't care or thought it was a bit funny himself and turned the other way.
@@julzguess2253 I think that too but it's still fucked up
he knew. he knew from the start.
The brutally "honest" Mom is a bully. That is a hill to die on for sure.
What the hay??? Brutally honest mom just calls it like she sees 'em???
"My brother said I can't actually make this decision based on a small mistake my niece made. He said this is her future that I was giving up on and my decision will have a lasting impact."
As it should! A "small" mistake? She's been harassing her uncle for months about his wife being pregnant when they've been having difficulty, it's cruel. She made her bed, now she's got to lie in it. For someone who says she loves her aunt & uncle she has a funny way of showing it.
Ghost the brother, too. The niece and her father are horrible people.
That mom literally played a stupid game. So now that she literally won a stupid prize, she throws a tantrum. She knew what she was doing to Kevin and now she has to deal with the consequences of her actions.
And of course she’s not gonna admit fault, because why would she? These delusionals don’t see reason, and hell there’s a lot of people from the generation of the mom who don’t like taking responsibility for their actions, its bizzare how common this is! Do they think they’ll die of cancer if they do it? Wtf…
OP should tell her mom that as a Hispanic female she(the mom) has darker, thicker, and more facial hair than Kevin, but it doesn't mean she should make jokes. Since I(commenter) am a Hispanic female, I know these things. Lol
Chi Chi is bad these days huh
the 4th story: that’s not a prank, that’s being cruel for MONTHS! it’s not a prank if no one laughs at the end.
"It just a prank, Bro."
Said by all bullies ever.
Exactly the effort and money to get a burner phone takes it from harmless prank to malicious assault
If it was me I pour ice cold water on her in the winter and calling it a prank to be even
he just needs to say that college fund was a prank and she should laugh if she believed it. LOLOLO it was a prank! Lets laugh together my niece😂😂😂
@@jamal-kz8qf nah I'd pretend I was over it, say it's back on but I'll pay it on the day, let her get excited for school, work hard, build a schedule, tell her friends then RIP it away see how she likes it
"Um, excuse me, ma'am, I'm this gym's nipple cop, and I'm afraid if you don't cover up those pokies I'm gonna have to issue you a citation." had me wHEEZING.
"...disrespectful for how I treat my mom."
What about the disrespect towards OP's fiancée? The nerve of some people!
Maybe it's because I've seen a lot of these reddit stories, but, in the second story, it sounded a lot to me like the rest of the family was freaking out, not because they didn't know how bad the pestering between the sisters was, but because none of them actually support OP getting pregnant at 18 and see her giving the baby to the older sister as a way to "fix" things.
That's what I felt. But the sis is also just insane on top of that.
That's what i tought also. It's just plain hypocresy
You're reddit-afied.
Not every weird wife is a cheater. Not every rude person is TA. Not every misunderstanding is a red flag.
@@hamzasultan96 yeah cause insisting to a pregnant woman who wants the baby to adopt is normal
@@Ark9music. I wasn't talking about the story itself, only the commenter's behind the scenes assumption. I get that reddit only has these extreme cases but that's why I said the phrases like that, "not every...".
Being a stay at home wife/mom isn’t something to shame. If both partners agree, then power to them. However, if you want that life you have to discuss it before marriage, and definitely before children. Not everyone is okay with that dynamic and that’s just as okay as wanting that dynamic.
exactly!
please just announce it maybe before planning the wedding, like if you want to be a "tradwife" and your partner agrees and likes this, whats the problem
I can maybe understand stay at home parent with two or more kids, but atay at home fully abled child-free spouse - ridiculous.
@@niamhturner1451 She just did indeed announce it. If they had both agreed, great! But. Partner wasn't down with it. It now is a problem because she doubled down in a manipulative way, whining "You won't support my dream!" And then he replied that she was lazy. No communication is happening now and these expectations are so central to what their life will be together I don't see them going forward without major resentment whoever prevails.💔
It is defiantly not something wrong, but I feel that she thinks being a stay at home wife it mostly to sit and rest and do things you like. But that means that almost all the house work is on you, and you still would have to work and take care of stuff.
Also, it's something that the other partner needs to agree to, so you could make the arrangements and the budget
I mean... that woman DID try to talk it out. Also can we stop claiming that no childen mean no work to be done?
I’m kinda wondering that if the niece thought she could get her uncle to drop the idea of having children by torturing him with reminders, then she would have a lifetime of his money.
No matter what she thought, she definitely needs to seek mental health help, and NONE of his money.
For the story of the uncle and the letters/texts. As a teenager, even as a kid I knew the difference between a joke and just being cruel. 16 is very much old enough to know that actions have consequences and definitely old enough to know better. Imagine struggling with something a big as wanting to have a family and then immediately Imagine how he would have felt the very first time he got one of those letters saying his wife was pregnant just for it to be ripped away because of a teenagers "prank". No if I was that guy not only would I pull the entire fund but I'd also tell them all face to face that she is 100% the reason why she will never see me again. Then I'd leave and never look back.
Its not meant to punish her, op doesnt want to reward a selfish brat with no empathy
Shes old enough to know this was cruel
Her actions were pure malice
Cancelling the fund isn't a punishment, it's a consequence. The punishment has still to be delivered.
Is she though? What she did was wrong and cruel but it is entirely possible that she didn‘t really grasp the impact she had on OP and his wife. She probably didn‘t realise how deeply important that topic is for OP. Sure, he is within his right to cancel the college fund, but he has to understand that that very well could be the death of their relationship. If I was in the nieces situation and realized what I had done and then wholeheartedly and sincerely appologized, which she did, and then saw OP‘s reaction, I‘d probably want nothing to do with him anymore! OP will have to live with this likely consequence of his almost daughter wanting nothing to do with him.
@@sepro5135 You can also had the niece's parents to the list too.
@@sepro5135 The apology is only "sincere" when you realise the consequences. That is the key word here too, "consequence". OP doesn't see it as punishment. He's just reacting this way.
@@sepro5135 She shouldn't be going to college if she is so socially inept to not realize how cruel her actions were. She'll end up addicted to drugs, raped, etc if she is actually this oblivious.
The niece deserves what she got. She was cruel and disrespectful of your situation.
Exactly! I’m dealing with infertility and if someone did something like that with my boyfriend or me, I’d have a breakdown. Shes so cruel. She is old enough to know better.
I really appreciate that you said your wife works as a stay at home mom. I decided to be childfree, but my mother was a stay at home mom for my sister and I. It's literally a full time job with constant overtime. I couldn't of asked for a better childhood. She helped me achieve the level of education and financial success I have now. I can't afford to be a stay at home mom with my spouse, which is a reason why I chose to be childfree. Props to you Dabney, not many people understand the time and effort it takes to raise children.
"Tone it down a little, it is a little harsh to saddle a girl with thousands in debt for a stupid prank a 16 year old made"
I can understand this sentiment but if OP put together a college fund that would cover her full tuition that would be a decent chunk of money that I am sure isn't just meaningless to OP. Also it seems harsh but I fully believe that this could be a turning point moment for the niece. The "prank" here isn't putting the sign on the windshield, the "prank" is ridiculing OP and his wife for two months with something incredibly hurtful. OP literally put together the college fund because he viewed this girl as his daughter and that is what she decided to do in return.
I feel like if nothing happened over this then it could reinforce that bad behavior and perpetuate it
Brutal Honesty is NOT an excuse to be offensive or rude. People need to stop abusing it for that purpose.
The funny thing is, if you decide to be "brutally honest" with this people they get SO offended. They can't handle. The moment OP's mother started to talk about, I don't know, her boyfriend car, she should hd respond: well, your personality is still shit, but here we are, still dealing with you. At least he can change his car.
@@NinaFMoretti That's why it's usually best to ask someone if you can be brutally honest with them. not use it as an excuse for the rude ass shit you said without provocation.
Absolutely, I consider myself brutally honest as I'm autistic and have very little filter, but I'm not gonna use that as an excuse to be racist, that isn't brutal honesty that's bigotry. If someone as oblivious as I can see that, it must be glaringly obvious.
@@H3xx99 I think that too. I always ask, and even then, you can choose your words, tell what you needs in a way that's not offensive. It's one thing say: I think you're making a mistake because if x,z,y. It's another saying: you're stupid! X,z,y shows that! You idiot!
I'm genuinely curious if the niece in the false pregnancy story is actually sorry, or if she's sorry because her college fund is being taken away.
If she was sorry she would’ve been overcome by guilt the first time she did it and not have done it again
@@phoebechandler8932 Wow, I forgot I wrote this comment lol. Though, you're probably right
The bitch wasn’t sorry for doing it she was sorry she got caught out and lost her fund, I woulda smacked her and cut contact. She’s 16 she knows what she’s doing is malicious asf.
@@phoebechandler8932 idk if that's necessarily true if she really didn't think she was doing anything wrong, but I do think if she really meant for it to just be a joke with no ill intent it wouldn't have gone on for as long as it did and she wouldn't have tried to lie saying she didn't do it when she was found out
That’s a good point, but OP did say she was crying. They were also very close so I’m a bit positive she was sorry because she didn’t want their relationship to go bye-bye.
I'm currently in a relationship where I stay home and take care of the apartment while my fiance works. 2 things about this, I expressly am the one in charge of cooking and cleaning, and I am physically disabled and can't work a normal job. My fiance was the one to suggest that I stay home and cook and clean because he knows it'll be easier on me, and he makes enough money to comfortably support us both. I also have hobbies, with 2 of them being cooking and baking. I don't sit on my ass all day even though we have kids. I do rest on the couch when I need to because I'm in pain constantly but I'm still productive. If my fiance didn't want to or couldn't support me without me working, I'd do my best to work even though I know it would cause me pain. That's what I did for the longest time until he suggested I stay home. If op doesn't want that kind of relationship, that's perfectly fine. It was unfair of op's fiance to spring that on them with little to no warning. Op is definitely nta
I will add, staying at home is *not* my dream
I disagree with R/slash for that one. My boyfriend and I went into a relationship with this lifestyle in mind. We don't have children and it is a lot of work. "The heavy lifting" is managing a household. Who goes grocery shopping cooking, cleaning, laundry, packing lunches, and making sure he is happy. If he needs a back massage or he has coffee and food ready when he goes to work. Making sure everything he has what he needs
Shaving Kit story: mom has not shown op’s husband any respect. Respect is earned and respect can be lost. Dear okfd mom lost OP’s respect. Now it is her to do whatever she can earn it back.
I was with you until "dear okfd."
Now I know I'm being BRUTALLY HONEST here - shocking, I know, - but... she could start APOLOGIZING.
For the niece story, I think OPs reaction is 1000000000000000% justified - the niece knew that OP and his wife had trouble conceiving, yet she chose to bully and harass them continuously under the guise of "lol its just a prank bro" - I would've done exactly the same as OP in this scenario.
Yes and OP is not talking anything away from her. He's just not giving an extra boost. It's not his job to provide for his niece, even less so when said niece takes it to Heart to crush his and his wife's souls for two months !
I've always said that "brutally honest" people really put the emphasis on "brutal," not on "honest." As people keep pointing out, it's not a prank if the prankee isn't laughing. It's bullying.
"I brutally shove my personal opinions, lack of experience and bias down your throat" was apparently too long
You know, there are moment where being brutally honest is completely ok and not everyone has the things to actually go to someone and confront them about something with that honesty.
But in those cases, you try to get a message through because someone has to realize something.
If you just use brutal honesty as an excuse to be an asshole, then you're not brutally honest, you're an asshole
@@heidtb6746 yes
Now that I think about it, it's kind of cowardly too. They're basically saying 'I'm a twat' yet they conveniently aren't 'brutally honest' enough to just call themselves a twat.
this literally happened to me. i can't grow facial hair and one year my (then) girlfriend's parents bought got me some kind of grooming kit or whatever for my birthday. i personally thought it was hilarious, it doesn't bother me and they know it doesn't and we all had a good laugh. but in this story, they KNEW that it was an upsetting subject for him and they did it anyway. it doesn't matter WHAT the subject is, if you know something is upsetting to someone and you do it anyway, that's disrespectful as fuck.
Hard disagree on the college fund. She spent months on that prank. She can get financial aid like everyone else.
The college fund story: 16 years old is old enough to learn that actions have consequences.
Hell even a 7 year old has some basic understanding of consequences
My 2 and 4 year olds even have basic understanding. It's like this "if I do this, it will upset Mommy, and I will get my toosh swatted" therefore, they cover said toosh in anticipation of the swat.
The fact that the niece was also doing this in secret in order to not get caught means she knows what she was doing. I also hate the whole they're a teenager excuse, bitch please I myself was that age and was never stupid enough to do those kinds of things and I've manipulated idiots who recommend doing stupid shit like that into getting in trouble because serves those idiots right if they never think long term, fuck those idiots and think its a slap on the wrist.
Niece's story: wait till you see what kind of a person she grows up to be. Give the fund through a legal document as a loan. If she is ever inconsiderate, abusive, spiteful, etc she and her parents should repay you with interest and inflation. I think that is justified.
Good idea
I don't really see any reason why she deserves a second chance. The closer she was to them the more vicious her crime.
" No apology? No invitation " F*ckin good on them. I would have done the same, I'd personally make sure anyone backing up her behavior wouldn't get an invite either, knowing them, they'd being it up on my husband & I special day. Nope. Get out of my life thank you. 0 Butthole points.
Rslash is kinda out of touch with reality when you literally prank by messing with a suffering child wanting couple psychologically by pretending they are getting a child.
A prank on INFERTILITY, something like that should never be taken lightly, OP was and is ABSOLUTELY justified and in the complete right, That teenage girl knew exactly what she was doing but never even thought about how this would effect her uncle and Auntie.
I'm not even gonna start on about the BIL
"It's just a joke" is the default fall-back position of any racist-sexist-anything-else-ist when they're called out. It's not a reason. It's not even an excuse. The only reason these "brutally honest" people get away with it is that no one calls them out on it.
Actions have consequences. If they don't want the consequence they shouldn't perform the action.
These people are bullies alright
Is not being able to grow facial hair an Irish thing? I don't understand how the mom was being racist otherwise and I've never heard of not being able to grow facial hair as being an Irish thing
@@acecase_c I don't see where the Irish fiance's race comes into it, either, unless OP's implying her family has certain notions of what is and isn't manly because of *their* background. In which case, it's less "racist" and more "toxic views of masculinity due to prevailing cultural norms". Either way, her family's full of a-holes! The mom just happens to be the ring-leader.
@@acecase_c, very fair skinned men often have scanty facial hair, no matter the ethnicity. And most hispanic cultures really do feel that facial hair is a barometer for machismo. Thinking that is one thing, but even teasing him about it more than once is definitely racist and hateful, especiallyafter OP had told her it was hurtful. Buying him that gift was beyond hateful.
@@bcaye
It's still quite the stretch to call it racist tho, because it isnt about the skin or race specifically, it's just about the lack of facial hair.
Notheless they definitely are assholes that seserves what is coming for them.
When I heard about the "Dream" of being a stay at home mum, it made me think of the argument between me and my brother.
We'd been fighting for years on and off but over one big blowout, he made it a point to say "Sucks to be you. I have the dream job, dream car and dream wife" to which I replied, "Your job is a delivery boy for StarTrack, your car is on a lease which you can't afford, and your wife is 400lbs of lazy stay at home and doing nothing but drinking beer and occasionally feeding but not walking the dog... Talk bout shooting for the stars bro. Your 'big dream' could fit under my fingernail with room to spare"
My dad then blamed me for "starting" family drama but my friends think it was a sick burn and well deserved, if not maybe a little poorly worded (I tend to ramble, even during burns)
Ouch. You killed the man dude.
I could tell because he’s promised to punch my lights out if he ever sees me again 🤣 I told him “Fine by me. Broken jaw will heal in a few months. Criminal record is forever 😉”
@@shykorustotora thats very true but remember this lesson becuase I learned it the hard way. That jail sentence is temporary.
@@bloodblade5860 The criminal record isn't
@@shykorustotora gives him even less to lose. Or at least thats how my dad thought
The “abusing your fertility” line killed me
I mean I'd understand if the fiance wanted to start her own business and was really passionate about something she thought could do well, or wanted to quit her job and go back to school for better work and pay opportunity, or even switch careers. But wanting to be a stay at home wife at the experience of OP when OP isn't comfortable with it, then guilting OP when she's the one trampling over boundaries is not okay. I think this is one of those red flag thingies everyone always talks about. Tread carefully OP.
Totally agree
As someone who is actually brutaly honest, there's a difference between honesty and bullying.
Amen to that fellow brutally honest person
@@jonathanhowells7864 To each of you: Is the brutality part really necessary, or do you just enjoy it?
@@ChrisMaxfieldActs I’m also wondering this. I guess I understand not wanting to sugar-coat things, but do you ever pull back when a person is upset? Or does honesty drive you to insist that “yes, you’re overweight and that English degree will never make you any money”?
Why "brutal" honesty? Honesty is great but "brutal" honesty always implies that you're going too far. Just be honest. Don't be a dick about it. You can be honest and still be kind, it's not that hard, I promise
@@razzytack ...the actual behavior is more important that the word brutal being used. Some people use the term brutally honest when really just describing a statement that is any degree more blunt than would be considered the average for their group. People who are used to dancing around every bit of bad news might call any kind of direct report on it brutally honest, so we can't assume complete refusal to ever be kind just from that. Given that these are people who are specifically saying not to be mean or a bully about it, it comes across as rather rude to respond by talking down to them about needing to learn that it's possible to be kind.
I would have been way more harsh with the niece if I was in OP's situation, I would have waited until what ever college she decided to go to needed payment and then told her "it was just a prank, I never really intended to pay for your education"
He could use the college fund to pay for IVF, adoption fees, or to start a kid fund, for once they're able to get a kid through whatever means possible
Mom: *Bullies OP's fiancee*
OP: *Lashes out at her and bans her from the wedding*
Everyone: **GASP** *Surprised Pikachu Face*
Yeah I don’t get how op is the butt hole
@@frozentitanium1416 Who said they were?
@@ChrisMaxfieldActs The actual butt holes(a.k.a mom and co.)
"If they're gonna be this disrespectful of your husband's race, then how much respect are they going to show your child?" Very good point, I had been thinking of that as well. It goes beyond just this disrespect towards him. It's like secondhand disrespect toward op and future disrespect toward their child.
The only thing is, there wasn’t any racism. I just hope that Op and “Kevin” do what’s best for themselves
@@kingofgrim4761 I have to respectfully disagree, perhaps there wasn't any blatant racism however there is an underhanded racism and me as a Hispanic, I know all too well that Hispanics are perhaps overly-aware of underhanded racism (but that's just me).
Making fun of someone's particular features that is rooted in their race is pretty racist, even if it's not blatant. It would be like making fun of Black people for the paler part in their hands or making fun of Indigenous-Hispanics for having black gums on their teeth. You're probably not outright calling them a slur but when you know, you *know*. You just can't point a finger to it without you being dismissed as it just being you overreacting over nothing.
To make fun of a white person for being hairless on parts of their body *is* racist, it's just underhanded racism.
@@nataliasoza4684 lol, no. “Making fun of someone’s particular feature that is Rooted in race” IS a problem. The thing is, that isn’t what was done.
If white people as a whole generally didn’t get facial hair, or his specific race, Irish (ironically, the stereotype for the irish is a bearded drinker, not a man who can’t grow facial hair)
You made a huge false equivalence, but I understand what ur trying to say.
@@kingofgrim4761 I suppose, yeah. Though I say it because OP had mentioned that her fiancé was a person who came from a particular subset of Irish that didn't grow hair. Though perhaps I misunderstood OP on that point, in any case I understand what you're saying as well. 👍
@@kingofgrim4761 it was racist. it wasn’t overt because he was right there but it was racially driven. it’s like giving an Asian driving lessons or giving a black swimwear:it seems innocent, but the intent is clear.
you might call it passive-aggressive racism
That niece story went in a different direction than I expected. I expected the niece to be the pregnant one and was too afraid to tell her parents.
It's perfectly 100% legitimate if that's not what you want in a marriage, but this idea that stay-at-home partners are by default lazy, sit around watching TV all day, and can't possibly contribute anything to the marriage is just insane. I've known a number of childless couples where only one partner (not always the husband) goes out to do paid work, and the SAHP works just as hard in the home. They save money by making meals from scratch and growing and preserving food, mending clothes, repairing household items, DIY and decorating, etc. Having a partner at home full-time can be an asset in certain jobs, as they can do the work of of entertaining and maintaining social connections that help the other partner be considered for promotions and raises. They can take care of all kinds of things that free up the paid partner to put all their focus on succeeding in the workplace. Granted, it requires that the person working for a paycheck be making enough to pay the bills, which isn't always possible in today's economy. But this image of the homemaker who does nothing but lie around the house all day eating bonbons in their pajamas is straight out of a bad joke from the 1950s.
Nah, he should keep the money and use it for fertility treatments. Using the “she’s a dumb kid” is a poor excuse, she very well knew exactly what she was doing.
Or if they don’t need it maybe donate the money for scholarships for teens in foster care or something since the niece has parents who could pay for her or cosign loans, while they dont
Follow Pinkie Pie's rule for pranks: it's only a prank if everyone laughs at the end.
Yeah there's a distinction between a prank and bullying.
Keyword: Everyone.
I know a channel that does a prank with people laughing together, with them making a fool out of themselves, not the victims. Try ggaebangjung.
@@dumbdolphin5525 Impractical Jokers and, oddly enough, Jackass are both good examples of avoiding this misstep by making themselves the butt of pranks instead of others.
Confuse, don't abuse!
College girl story-she really needs the wake up call, it's not just a prank, it was straight up cruel, she stalked him for this "prank"
The third story though, how could the mother be sooo entitled and insensitive to Kevin’s feelings?! I’ve been the target of a couple of rude jokes but the people who made them at least come up and apologise to me when I feel hurt or upset over it!
A "joke" at someone else's expense is just bullying
Facts 👏
I love how in one story OP Rslash is saying to die on a hill if it’s to protect their Significant other but then in the other story about the niece he says yeah that was harsh, you should totally give your niece who’s been harassing our for months all this money
Also the last story: You must support your significant other!! Unless they want to be a stay at home wife! Then you should kick them to the curb, because running a home obviously has no value!
@@mwise1016 actually Rslash was completely right in that story. The fiancé literally sprung it on him super close to the wedding and expects him to pay for her lifestyle. Like yeah taking care of a home is hard work but if they both split the responsibilities then they should be fine
@@mwise1016 It has less value.
@@mwise1016 If you don't talk about that wish with your partner and just demand they be OK with it? You deserve any reaction you get. That is just as toxic as hiding the fact you want/don't want kids.
People can change their minds. Op asked their soon to be wife if she wanted to be a stay at home wife before which makes it seem like he'd be ok with it. Why ask "do you want to do this" to blow up later when the answer ends up being yes instead of saying "hey im not ok with this it makes me uncomfortable"
What the niece did was cold and calculated cruelty and emotional torment of her supposed loved ones. I would have done the same thing and completely cut her off 🤷🏽♀️ That isn’t a prank it’s just evil and cruel.
Ah yes my neice has been making fun of my infertility for months how dare I not pay for her thousands of dollars of school
More balanced? Lol. I'm a guy and know that, even if this guy wasn't trying to poorly cover his creepiness, that it's awful logic. Guys think with the head on your shoulders, not in your pants.
Yeah a bra does not magic away the weight of one's boobies lol.
Yea bras were made as tools for extra support and to stop chafing but sadly people seem to think they're required but I mean........they're kinda like jockstraps....for the chest? Ig
@@theeguy9022 that's probably the best comparison i can think of.
I completely agree with the guy who took away his niece's college fund for being a insensitive jerk. Infertility is no joke. What kind of person are the parents raising? She can't understand there are things in life that are not a joke. Like they always say on Reddit Play stupid games, win stupid prices.
Personally I'd say they overreacted. OP said they loved their niece, and they were convinced for years that they wanted to support her financially.
Now they don't want to support her anymore for what, a stupid prank?
Seriously, what that niece did was horrible and stupid, but sooo many teenagers do stupid stuff. However, I wouldn't want to ruin their future for that one big mistake.
@@Rubina980 OP is not obligated to give her anything. She has parents. While it's great to get money for college from family there are many other things she and her parents can do to pay for it. I hope they use that money towards their dream of having a child, whether it is biological or adopted.
@@Rubina980 yes, the greater the love, the greater the betrayal.
I don't think teenagers have the perspective to understand the emotional upheaval that goes along with that. I think the empathy for that would come with more life experience. Although, losing her college fund will definitely go a ways towards the life experience needed to understand how serious it is to people. Just gaining it at a very high price.
7:04
I would have helped my fiancé up and promptly storm out followed by a statement of “None of you are coming to the wedding and all of you can take your gifts back”.
The holidays would be canceled forever
5:00 what op and Kevin should do is give the mum gardening tools and say “get it? because your Hispanic” or get her some pregnancy tests and say “get it? Because your in menopause”
"yOu cANt aCtuALly MaKe tHis dEcISIon oN A SmALl mIsTakE."
Uuum yeah, he can. It's his money and he can decide to do with it however he pleases.
Not to mention, this wasn't "one small mistake." This was a calculated attack on the OP and his wife that lasted two months.
Nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom. My mom left her job shortly after having me, but at the time my parents were able to afford it. And my mom does so much with keeping the house organized, cooking, quilting, volunteering for school organizations, she even handmade all of us masks during the pandemic. My mom is anything but lazy.
But as this guy said, he couldn't afford to be the sole breadwinner at the moment. Maybe she could try a remote job or working part time if she's not happy with the full time set up (this coming from someone currently working 3 part time jobs while running a CZcams channel).
You missed the part where they said they were child free (as in planning not to have children). Stay at home moms can work as hard as anyone, I know some stellar examples. Stay-at-home-wife in this context is just pure 100% lazy entitlement.
@@MichellesdesignsEtc pretty sure they said it would make sense if they were pregnant, but they were not. OP isnt against stay at home moms, he just doesnt want to be the sole breadwinner when his wife would have nothing to contribute. We dont know what she planned on doing instead, it could have been a small business or maybe she wanted to do part-time work instead, but we dont know that. All we know is that she wants to quit her job and rely on her spouses income, not because she wants to be a stay at home parent, but because she doesnt want to work a 9-5 job
@@IAmDox So all the stuff that has to be done whether you have children or not (dishes, washing, cleaning, shopping, making meals etc.) is just laziness?? I get that he don't want to be the only one bringing home money - totally fair! Maybe a part-time job would be a compromise? And if she later wants him to do chores: NO DEAL! But thinking that nothing has to be done at home, just because you don't have children? That's a little out of touch. ;-)
@@Kathrine.R. no but all that stuff will take like 2 hours at most depending on how dirty they are then yes the rest of the 24 hours is lazy
@@Kathrine.R. I doubt cleaning behind one person will be 8 hours of work daily. Shopping can be done online and even if not, shopping for food isn’t really a days worth of work nor a daily activity especially to feed 2... like every month or so. She’ll just be washing his and her clothes. Which might I add is only a few seconds. If she’s washing dishes by hand a few minutes if by dish washer a few seconds. Cleaning the house behind one person is an hour at best. The most work she’ll be contributing is cooking. Not to mention the husband is probably 100% ok with cleaning himself so he wouldn’t need a housewife unless related to pregnancy. Meaning majority of her days will be spend most likely doing nothing.
Wedding invitation story: How would OP's mother react if someone constantly joked or teased her about something that she is self conscious about (like Kevin seem to be about growing facial hair)? If I was Kevin I probably would have sunk to her level and bought her something like a subscription to Jenny Craig, telling her she needs it to look good in the wedding photos...maybe then she would have gotten the message that her "teasing" is just straight up bullying! 0/5 AH for OP and Kevin, 3.5/AH for OP's mother and 1.5/5 AH for the rest of the family that dont see an issue with all of this!
Rslash is far too forgiving of OP's niece. He thought of her almost as a daughter and he thought she thought of him as a 2nd father. But she showed how much she actually respects him by making fun of the fact they are having issues getting pregnant.
By disrespecting him, she revealed that he wasn't a respected "2nd father" to her and proved she wasn't worth all of OPs money.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being a stay-at-home wife when you're not a mother. My fiance and I have no kids, and I'm in between jobs right now, so I have to be a stay-at-home partner as I'm looking for work. As a stay-at-home partner, I cook all the meals, do all the cleaning, do all the laundry, do any set-up for guests, take care of our dogs, and a lot more. Some days I'll even take online courses to better my professional skillset. I'm not just sitting around doing nothing all day. Saying that that's what stay-at-home spouses do is really insensitive and untrue. Don't get me wrong, the woman in this story is obviously taking advantage of her husband-to-be, but not every stay-at-home spouse expects to do nothing all day.
Well, you've talked about 2 out of 3 kinds of stay-at-home people.
Because their is also the one that want their men to be the sole bread winner, but also complain to everyone and their friends if their hubby never helps them with house work or even demand the hubby pays other people to do the house work.
A stay-at-home person, is technically just a self-employed house keeper.
And if you do all house keeping jobs, without EVER demanding/expecting your partner to help you, even if it's just to sort the laundry or to get the trash out of the house, you deserve all the respect possible.
But if you ever dare to expect your partner to help you with the house keeping, you also have to partake in the bread winning!
Otherwise the relationship just becomes toxic.
I think your situation is a little different to the fiancee saying she wants to quit her job and stay home. Nothing wrong with wanting that. Also nothing wrong with OP disagreeing with it particularly when it feels like a bolt from the blue. I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner quitting work to stay home for no real reason.
I've been a stay at home mom for 20+ years for 4 kids. And it is not lazy! It's extremely busy with a lot of running kids here and there, housework, laundry, help with homework, yardwork, Drs and dentist appts, and so so much more. That being said, they're child-free and being stay at home at this young age will only cause her to b bored and MAYBE even eventually cheat. I mean you can only clean the house so much. And who is she going to hang out with during the day when all her friends are at work. You find that out really fast. Yeah, it's not a cakewalk, but boredom sets in pretty quickly if you don't have kids. My kids are all grown and now I'm a stay at home grandma. I babysit for all 6 of my grandchildren. Three of them I pick up from school a few days a week (they're in middle and high school)(I used to have those 3 five days a week when they were little). One is starting Pre-K this year so I'll have her half days. One is in 2nd grade so I get her from school one day a week. And once my daughter goes back to work in a few weeks I'll have a newborn three days a week. So yeah, still busy and running back and forth but worth it. My husband cooks dinner and does most of the yardwork now that my hip is messed up, but I am definitely NOT lazy. I hate it when I hear that stay at home moms are lazy. Not cool!
I feel like the story is missing more context on the fiancee's end.
I stated this further up, commenting on another person’s post. I have a hard time believing the community’s reaction would be as sympathetic if it was the man springing this on the woman, requesting to be a stay-at-home husband.
My only thing when it comes to the girl losing her university money. I actually disagree with r/slash saddling herself with that debt is her own fault er her father obviously knew about it, by his reaction. Also, why didn't her father set up a fund however small it is it would have been a help. So dome teenager or not. It's her own fault she did this to someone she subbosdaly loved. This is on her, she's not entitled to that money. And OP handled it way better than I would have. The only mistake was telling her the fund existed in the first place.
Right?? Her dad must’ve known and thought it was Funny. Who’s laughing now? OP is, all the way to the bank!
My whole family is like the “brutally honest” mom.
I usually respond by telling them something really rude back about their insecurities and then say “why you mad, it’s just a joke” and then they quit their shit for a good while.
Question. In the last story, if OP doesn't give enough context to asume his fiance doesn't want to work at all... why do we asume so quickly that that's why she means when the says she wants to be a stay home wife and that a 9 to 5 job is not for her? There's a lot of people who don't work office hours and that doesn't mean they are not working. You don't have to have kids to validate that being a stay home partner is a lot fo work. You still have to mantain the house, cook, do laundry, do all the caregiving and domestic tasks you office working partner can't, handle the social aspects of your partners work, like hosting work dinners and such, it's a heavy job either kids are involved or not. I really don't get why people keep treating housework as if it isn't work.
"when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time"
Maya Angelou.
3rd story: You want to get a Hispanic or Mediterranean woman to stop harassing you about your facial hair? Easy: tell her it's a shame you weren't blessed with the same thick, luxurious facial hair follicles that she has.
You may have to run for your life. But, if you survive, I guarantee she'll never bring up facial hair to you again 😈
Yeah fight generalization with generalization. Makes the world go around. Hispanic or miditerranean women don't have more body/facial hair than other etnicities of women. You for one are being racist, and two you are acting like women having facial (which is natural) is the biggest insult to a woman, that it is something they should feel embarrassed about.
@@saidakassim2106I AM Hispanic and Mediterranean, and am vouching from *personal* experience that a good chunk of us DO have thick, course, dark hair that contrasts harshly with our skin tone, and are *extremely* sensitive about it. Take your unfounded assumptions and cries of racism and go look in the mirror, you humorless wanna-be White Knight / SJW (lest I assume your gender)! *This* Latina neither needed nor asked you to come to our rescue, and I doubt anyone else did, either.
@The Caliphate True. But I'd also wager most women of ANY ethnicity would be peeved and/or humiliated if you implied they have thicker facial hair than a man 🤭
@The Caliphate "a good chunk"
You may have to check your reading comprehension
Its a well-known fact that women of color tend to have darker body hair than most.
As a Hispanic woman, I agree lol facial hair on Hispanic women is fucking real. Don't throw stones in a glass house
My mom quit her job a week before the wedding and hasn’t had a job since, but my dad told her that she didn’t need to work. Having someone at home went I got out of school was a blessing
Am I missing something? How was that racist? I’ve seen some Irish men with strong beards and some with patchy beards. Not being able to grow facial hair isn’t tied to race
i agree that was such a weird thing to say
@@pegacis yeah rslash seems like a very assuming person with no evidence
rslash is often pretty out of touch with reality in his commentary. I just scrolled through so many comments to see if anyone would comment on the weird “racist” thing he tried so hard to drive home here. The MIL is definitely super rude… but not racist, at least in this situation.
For Kevin of the second story: I AM JEALOUS! Having a beard is a complete headache when I must always shave it off for my job and I want to be rid of mine *permanently* . YOU ARE LUCKY IN A GOOD WAY!!!
Yeah, my son is only 17 and he really needs to shave every day. He hates it. When he doesn't shave daily he looks a mess.
I just hope that the niece learned from her mistakes and she is a better person. And that she still has a good relationship with op and his wife.
Sadly, I doubt it, but maybe down the road. The fallout will be a hell of a lot to come back from. It can happen, but even a year later, I'm not optimistic.
Last story: " It's my dream " Yeah it is her dream, at his expense. She doesn't want to work anymore, but expects him to work as much as needed, so that she does not have to. WOW talk about entitled .
Yeah exactly. HUGE red flag here
Agreed 👍 the fact that she brought this up now is incredibly concerning. I would talk to her about her job see if there wasnt a career she'd rather be doing, but if she just doesnt want to do anything at all then that's just sad....
Why does Nipple Cop sound so much funnier than Nipple police? Or Is that just me?
Paul Blart Nipple Cop 😅
Nip cop,. Titty po-po.... I'll stop
It kinda sounds like ....nipple cup ..that's why ..probably
@@hamzasultan96 Booby 5-0! Bra them, Dano!
N-Y-P Double D Blue
I tried
Eh, give mom a wedding invitation! Then, mid practice dinner, in front of everyone, re-gift mom the shaving tools and tell her that she CLEARLY needs it more.
I absolutely never let my family disrespect my wife. Same goes for crazy mom. Don’t let her get away with that shit.
For the first one, that dude could've just looked away.
Op shouldn't invite her Mom unless she is gives a sincere apology. She needs to set boundaries with her family or it will only get worse after they are married.
They should marry in secret and move away.
I love how the woman in the last story brought up that at complete random, called him manipulative, then said "we can talk about this when you calm down" which is essentially, "if you don't cave to my demands and support every one of my needs you're a manipulator and an abuser" yeah, gaslighting isn't a good quality in a spouse. Cancel that fucking wedding OP
Yup, cancel that shit. Massive red flag lol. Stay at home mom, sure I can get behind that. Stay at home wife though? That just screams laziness and sketchiness to me. I wouldn't be cool with that either.
@@JordanRA especially when that means he would more than most likely have to work even more than he does a relationship is supposed to be equal not sit on your ass all day while your so is working
@@Crayonsforyou 100% agreed. Like, I know in some cases maybe your SO is a very busy person and they enjoy doing things at the home that contribute. Examples: landscaping, gardening, interior decorating, maybe some type of artistry? But we dont know the full story here if she does any of that stuff. For some couples it can work out, but clearly that was not communicated at all before getting engaged. Personally, I would hate the thought of my wife/fiance just sitting at home presumably doing nothing at all while I work all the time. Just doesn't sit right with me
My only thing with this is Op specifically says that he's asked his soon to be wife multiple times before "hey do you want to be a stay at home wife" and the answer has been no. Usually when you ask a question like that multiple times it means you're open to that idea, so while yes she did kind of spring that on him out of nowhere while talking about wedding plans maybe she thought it was still an open thing that he would be okay with. However she should have had an actual discussion with him before saying "Hey I want to do this and you're going to pay for it"
The marriage story: Been there. Prior to my (now ended) marriage, both my fianceé and I worked. As we led up to our wedding, she brought up her old-fashioned belief, and she wanted to be a stay-at-home spouse while I kept working. It was strange, because she'd never mentioned it before. We talked about our finances, our lifestyle, and our workloads.
Ultimately, it worked out, and our marriage failed for other reasons. But we had a discussion about contributing to the partnership, and I flat-out told her that if she wasn't going to work a regular day job, she was going to take on the lion's share of looking after the house. I didn't absolve myself of all household chores, but I did leave the bulk of it to her. And you know, it worked out for 8 years. I worked full-time and took a part-time gig three or four months out of the year. I didn't hate it; I like being busy. She stayed home and looked after the house, and raised our daughter after she was born, and from everything I saw, she was content(my ex struggled with depression before we ever got married, so it was rare to see her fully light up with happiness). That marriage has been over for several years, but our split is not related to anything like that.
If your values and hers line up on something like that, go nuts. It's a bit old-fashioned in this era, but if it works, it works. If your values don't line up(like in this case), I'd call off the wedding, because either way one of you is going to be unhappy.
There's nothing wrong with bringing traditional values that have sustained our species for millennia into the future. Some things are needed, and dismissing them as 'old fashioned' is perhaps hasty.
That being said, you definitely took the best route you could in attempting to accomplish that. I'm told it's poor form to offer sympathy for divorce, but I hope you three (ex-wife, daughter, and self) are well.
@@sandiatacticalandsurvival3373 My ex and I are still friendly, and I personally think that the divorce is the best thing that could have happened to improve my relationship with my daughter(8 years old when we split). Now, with typical weekend visits, we actually do things together and talk about things, and although our time together is more limited, it's considerably more involved, and we have a much more engaged relationship than we did pre-divorce. Best thing that could have happened, in my mind.
Sister about the baby? I get it. My little sister never wanted to be pregnant, and constantly said if she ever was I’d be adopting the baby. Fast forward and she’s 20 and a pregnant buy a guy she’s been seeing only a couple months. She’s still in a rough patch a year and a half later, and was 2 years older than that girl in the story. The 18 year old reminded me of a lot of girls in high school who were pregnant and felt like they were doing good at 15-17 and how adopting a child out like one other girl did was awful and disgusting. Mind you-one if the girls had her baby taken away because of the videos of blowing marijuana in the few months old infants face, and CPS found out the bed the baby was in was infested with bed bugs and roaches. But all the other teen moms came to her side and said ‘she at least tried! She’s better than that girl who chose adoption to that nice family!’
Yeah. Part of it is the older sister thinking of herself. Part of it is probably also concern for the sister and how she’s going to fare.
That teen was trash. I as a teen would’ve never. I still wouldn’t. The teen is mean and likes to laugh at pain others are feeling. That teen will not be a good person when they grow up, especially doing things like that.
2nd story: the guy could tell his fiance's mom "I know. I'm really jealous of ur mustache".
Or give the gift back to her and say "Thanks but it seems you really need it more than me"
Ugh, the wedding story just reminds me how a lot of Hispanic families are. I'm Hispanic too so I know. They like to publicly humiliate one specific person 'as a joke' and when you call them out on it, they go "It was just a joke! Why are you so offended?"
If you're on the heavy side of the family or a little kid, or neurodivergent I think you get it the worst.
The one with the niece and the baby "jokes"
The brother told them to pretty much stop talking, which means he KNEW it was hurtful. It might've even been his idea
congrats on the baby Rslash! I have been watching you for about a long time. Really love this stuff!😀