Unmatching & ghosting a disabled person on hinge?? ft.
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- čas přidán 9. 04. 2024
- Hello again, this is part 2 of our chat with Cole and Charisma. We hope you've enjoyed it so far - let us know your thoughts on what our Reddit poster, who I've named Ronald in the previous episode's description, should have done? Are they the chief of the rear command?
See you next time!
Remember to send your own Disabled Dilemmas to help@lucyedwards.com
Produced and presented by Lucy Edwards and Ollie Edwards-Cave.
Music composed by Alice Edwards and produced by Ollie Edwards-Cave.
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Buy Lucy's new book 'Blind Not Broken' here: blindnotbroken.cmpgn.page/LGZ6f6 - Komedie
I have a vision impairment called CVI and a type of cerebral palsy called right Hemiplegia which only affect the right side of my body, this dilemma fits right into my wheelhouse because I've had people ghost me or end the relationship on specifically Hinge or Tinder because of my disability, I just wanna quickly talk about the debate on whether or not you should put your disability in your profile and I think it depends and it has nothing to do with confidence but I feel like it's better for someone to get to know you for who you are rather than because you have a disability also depending on this person's type of cerebral palsy like I said mine only affect my right side so I can still walk and do a lot of stuff, if this person is in fact in a wheelchair Connor then their decision to show it in their profile is theirs and while on the one hand I get putting it in your profile so that when people are swiping on you they are aware and you can eliminate all the people who aren't gonna accept you for you and your disability, but on the other hand I can also see the debate because I myself have a hidden disability due to the fact that I don't carry around a cane and aside from walking a little bit differently or walking a little bit bit slower it's not that noticeable so I don't really feel the need to put my disability in my profile because it's a hidden disability and it's not super obvious I'd rather just naturally work it into a conversation and see how the person reacts but again it depends on how the person feels about their disability and what they want to do depending on the severity of it, I just wanted to put that out there because this story specifically hit really hard with me and was incredibly relatable to me specifically so I just wanted to give my thoughts, again sometimes I have made my disability quite known early I've never put it on my profile but again that's because it's hidden and not super obvious and I'd rather people get to know me for me and my personality rather than for my disability and if they find it too much then that's fine I usually tell people quite early into talking to them if I feel a good connection like maybe this person had a similar thought to me where maybe they can still walk and it's not really a huge deal or you know they're still pretty capable so they didn't really feel the need to put it in there profile and so you know maybe they were only talking to this person for like a week or two and decided to bring up their disability in this sky freaked out we don't know how long they were talking for but just from my perspective I feel like that's pretty common to do after talking to someone, you want to make sure you have a relatively good connection with the person which like if you're talking every day some people aren't that chatty so they may only talk to you a couple of times a week or whatever on dating apps and there are a lot of people on dating apps who do just want hook ups or things like that so you do have to be careful and it seems like this guy did want to relationship and so did she but I think it's our choice whether or not we want to put our disability in our profile like whether or not we want to disclose that because people can take advantage of you because you have a disability yes on the one hand all the people who aren't interested in disability will know if it's in your profile and you know you don't want them matching with you anyway but on the other hand it can have some dangerous repercussions by putting it in your profile so that's another reason why people don't as like a protective thing and you know they wanna make sure that they know the person first a little bit before they disclose that at least from my respective again everyone's gonna have a different perspective depending on their experiences I've had a lot of experiences with online dating unfortunately and it's never worked out I think online dating especially is very tricky because there are a lot of dangers there in terms of peoples true intentions etc and when you have a disability it can be a little bit more scary to put yourself out there or even dangerous sometimes so you do have to be more careful and so there's a lot of different things to consider when it comes to sharing that information and I can understand why some people like myself don't want to include the disability we have in our profile especially if it's more of a hidden disability or something that we're not that bothered by like we don't really care so we don't really feel the need to include it like the person who really cares about us and really like this isn't going to care you know so especially when it comes to meeting in person versus online, when you meet someone in person everything is a little bit more out in the open whereas sometimes online things can be a bit more secretive maybe the one of the reasons why she didn't disclose it was because she wanted to make sure she wasn't being catfish or you know wanted to get to know him, honestly there could've been so many different reasons, again this is just my perspective and depending on different peoples experiences with online dating they're going to have different opinions but I think when it comes to disclosing your disability in your profile it depends on you and the disability you have and what you feel comfortable with doing because there are those risks there, like I said on the one hand it helps you get rid of people who wouldn't be interested in you because of your disability but also it attracts dangerous people sometimes so like I said that could be a reason why this person didn't disclose their disability until they've been talking for awhile but again it all comes down to peoples personal preference and what they're comfortable within my opinion.
Don't let rejection stop you from finding happiness. Especially when it's from people online who don't know you. Online dating can be tough, but don't give up if a relationship is what you truly want. Take it day by day, and don't get caught up in thinking it'll never happen. It may take many years and that's something you have to accept. In the mean time live your life and don't be afraid to fail. If you're kind and a good person, there will be men willing to help you with anyone looking to abuse you. You'd be surprised what a man would do if he was asked. Many women think no one will help them, but all they have to do is ask. Men have an instinct to protect their community and they will find no greater sense of achievement than protecting someone they care about.
Wow!! I don't think I've ever been this early!!
Love both of these couples.
这笑声，我喜欢❤