r/ACCCEEEEE - Asexual Succubus GF 😳
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- čas přidán 4. 03. 2024
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Emotional Support Demon ► www.makeship.com/products/emo...
Twitch ► / cliccy
Discord ► discordapp.com/invite/tmnb7sr
Merch ► the-click-shop.fourthwall.com
TikTok ► vm.tiktok.com/ZSJbDmX12/
Twitter ► / nottheclick
Instagram ► / themarkdeck
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Links:
Intro Animation ► / theannemine
Edited by ► / sl4ww
Succubus Artwork ► @meru_nyaa
Pizza Guy ► @Stvevie_Emerson
Towel on Bed ► @martamie
Mirror ► @bomdiaetal
Too Much Garlic Bread ► @theodd1sout
"I don't have any strong opinions..." ► @shencomix
"Netflix and Chili" ► @christhallbeck
"you need a boyfriend" comic ► @mewtripled
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Title: Tea Time by GoSoundtrack
Genre and Mood: Cinematic + Romantic
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#reddit #theclick #subreddit - Zábava
I'm a sex-repulsed ace, and so is my husband! His mother stopped doing the "you just haven't met the right person yet" line when we got together.
looks like he did, in fact, find the right person xD
Incoming "when are you giving us grandbabies" harassment for the rest of your life
@@Falcodrin Thankfully (?) I think we got that one out of the way at our wedding. The guy marrying us casually mentioned that we intended to foster and adopt in the future. 🤦♀️ (We gave him a heads-up afterwards to maybe not announce the future child-having plans of a couple at their wedding, cos it resulted in a very unexpected conversation to have to have with the parentals) So I kinda just straight up said "yep, yep, I'm incapable of conceiving, oh well, too bad." 😅
Power-move on both your parts! Internet Uncle-Gay🏳️🌈 approves! 😊
@@irishuisman1450 He's the cutest. On an anniversary he gave me a piece of paper to work out the LITERAL statistics of us getting together. (How many aces were in Australia within a certain age bracket who felt compatible types of romantic attraction, and we're sex repulsed, etc) He full on just went and was like "yeah so statistically speaking, we're soulmates!"
Whenever people say people don't discriminate against asexuals, I just bring up virgin shaming culture.
Society at large is so pair-bonding focused. 🙅♀
The constant refrain I hear is _"need to find someone who'll take care of you when you're old."_ I'm like, "Yeah right. I'm American. I'm going to die at my job because I won't have the ability to retire." ..somehow my parents still think I'm joking when I say this. 🤷♀
I never understood Virgin Shaming like they are so mad about Ending their Bloodline, but there are like
8B+ people in this planet.Yeah we aint dying any time soon 💀
I find it odd, it seems they shame virgins if it's men but desire virgins if it's women. Like make up your mind society.
Recently I saw a tiktok where someone (don’t remember if they were part of the community or an ally) said that Aces and Aros were “Gays in denial” Like if I said that about ANY other sexuality I know people would immediately call me out since that is bigoted but because it’s about the Aces and Aros suddenly it’s perfectly fine to say (despite a lot of Aces and Aros considering themselves a part of the community)
oh god yeah. i told people i was ace when they asked about my virginity and all they said was "oh you have to try it at least once or youll never know" LIKE HUH? I GET SICK THINKING OF IT??
"you're not really ace it's just a phase" okay aunt Sharon then this "phase" has lasted longer than all 3 of your marriages
Hhh I laughed so hard at this, thanks for that
I almost spit out my tea
Thank u so much
Even if it is, or you change in some way, who cares? Why should you suffer now because you "might feel differently" in the far off future?
@@LMBillingsley why should i hurt myself because this box i chose for myself *might* not fit later on?
I also have an aunt Sharon…
As an aroace, I hate it when I'm like "omg he/she/they/etc are so hot" to a fictional character and they are like "i thought you were aroace" and i have be like "i am, this is a fictional character, and i can find someone attractive without actually wanting a romantic or sexual relationship with them"
In real life about actual people too 😭, I'll go say something about how someone is nice or good looking or I like being around them or whatever and people immediately go 'Partner?? Crush??'. No, we've been over this, why do you keep doing this
@merelha5930 Yeah, for me, though, as soon as that fictional person became real they'd no longer be attractive.
There's actually a word for the part of the ace spectrum where you're basically only attracted to people you have no chance of ever meeting in real life. (Celebrities, athletes, fictional characters, CZcamsrs 😂)
I mean, no. I haven't looked this up for myself. A friend was asking. 😂
@Absbabs88 In the end, even if the character is 2D and never going to be real I still could imagine actually doing anything. Its just "she's cute" or "he's hot" or "omg can you step on me"
Me too, but , nine times out of ten, if they’re pretty enough to make me think that, they are DEFINITELY a disguise villain. It’s always the blondes, don’t trust them.
Asking an asexual to "prove it" is like Amazon asking you to prove that a package never came.
I would make Asexual identity cards specifically for these moments. I'm not Asexual myself but I'd totally support them this way anyway.
This is kinda fantastic honestly, you prove it by not sleeping with them 😂
Prove it
"points towards pants like the old man from 'guess I'll die meme' "
I once got somebody to bug off my friend who’s asexual by saying “Hey quit it. This is like….the only person I know that isn’t doing the naughtiest with your mom. Maybe show them respect :3”
Prove it?
I don't wanna. There's your proof.
HE HAS RECOGNIZED US ACES!!!!! LES GOOOOOO
FR!!!
Cause you guys are the "ace" in the hole~ I'm not leaving
yayy
BRO I WAS WAITING FOR THIS-
FINALLY!!!
One of my favorite "Ace" moments came from the recent Hazbin Hotel series, where one of the other characters refers to Alastor as an "Ace in the hole", and he responds with "A what now?" Because hes from the fucking 1920s and doesn’t know he's Asexual
That was one of my favorite scenes in the show. It made me burst out laughing
Haven't watched Hazbin Hotel yet, but I loved Helluva Boss. You don't happen to know if the entire show is out yet or if it's still airing? (not sure if there are several seasons planned or anything, but I want it to at least be one season out so I can binge)
@@FoxiestLia Pretty sure a whole season is out. It wraps up pretty well. Hoping for more though, it was good
she knew he was an ace in the hole!!
I love Rosie's friendship with Alastor its just so condescendingly funny to me for some reason
Not to mention, most people who go “no one is discriminating against ace people” are, in fact, actively discriminating against ace people
They are
Simple fact
I got fired from my last job for not being comfortable with raunchy music being forced on my ears.
I feel like it's not that hard to separate work and personal life? Like idk how people can be so horny 24/7
That sounds exhausting.
Ace people get belittled, treated like garbage for not wanting things (or wanting them differently then allo people)
They get weird passive aggressive comments from parents and other (some parents that make legit sexual comments and assumptions about their kids doesn't help at all)
Ace people are not allowed a safe space even within most "lgbtq+ supportive communities"
Aces even within their own spaces are discriminated against by other aces when it comes to some sensitivities or someone doesn't see that person as "Ace enough"
@dragonwolfzero820 wow, everyday I see how truly weird this world is. I thought being being asexual was fine as fuck, better than an active person, this is so weird.
@@dragonwolfzero820
Hey, I don't know if I sound genuine or not, but I support you. You are so much more than the nasty comments people tell you, or the hypocrites that gatekeep what it means to be you. I hope one day I can show people that to be a safe space means EVERYONE is accepted.
@@zabbee2323 I appreciate the kind words! Also, I agree, a safe space should be somewhere no feels scared, uncomfortable or disrespected.
Exactly. Inclusion should be about WANTING to include people. Not looking for reasons to exclude them, or demanding proof that they "deserve" to be included. So many people still need to unlearn so many toxic patterns. Instead, they moved the same patterns a bit to the side so now those rules benefit them and marginalise new not-thems.
One time I was working as secretary at a lgbt+ friendly church. There was this one jerk who had started coming there because he had been kicked out of all the other churches and he really wanted to make this one less accepting. He tried to tell the pastor that me being ace meant I was “extremely promiscuous” and should be fired. I laughed so hard when the pastor told me.
Soon after that and some other instances of him harassing a girl for being female and Mexican the church’s motto changed to “all are welcome - except Tony” and any time he showed up an army of elderly gentlemen would peacefully surround him until he got uncomfortable and left
I'm just imagining a bunch of old gentlemen T-posing around a guy while looking him straight in the eye while he just gets more and more uncomfortable, and it's a glorious image
That is a church I would attend in a heartbeat. I miss church so much! Unfortunately, I am Ace and Gender Dysphoric. Neither of which i am particularly good at hiding. Add to that the fact that i live in the Bible Belt of a particularly intolerant state, and Church isn't an option for me.
Tony was apparently trying to speedrun getting banned from all churches in the area
Bro got Carrie Nation-ed.
For those who don't know during women's sufferage against alcohol, Carrie Nation would go around literally destroying many bars/pubs/taverns and many of them put a sign up that said All Nations Welcome Except Carrie.
Imagine not knowing the context and just going to a local church and you see the moto
I once had a dude ask me how I live without sexual attraction. Like...I live a normal life? I just...don't have sex with people? It's not that weird.
Should have ended it with: “So exactly like you!” :D
Dude one of my friend asked me the same thing!!! I just said "Idk I just do what I like, maybe create some short stories" and he was mindblown. Said he was almost envious I could think of anything else and Im there like why, can't- can't you...?
@@ShinyShilla this is similar to the situation where I found out I was ace. One of my friends told me about her situationship and how they were alone sitting on his bed and she wanted to sleep with him so bad, but she was proud she didn't do it. And I was like "...wait, is it hard to just not do it?"
Tbh, I actually don't know how I would live *with* sexual attraction because wdym it would take up a good portion of my time and thoughts every day? I don't have the capacity for that?!
@@ShinyShilla I have ADHD and I keep thinking if I weren't ace, I imagine I'd get distracted or bored halfway through and start making a candle or painting something like I do know with all my other crafts that sit half finished. 😂
The audacity of wanting to live your life how you want. /s
Re: 42:46, I met a woman at a convention and she seemed cool. Wanted to get to know her better. A few months later, we met again at a party. She was having trouble getting a ride after the party, so I offered to drive her home. After 10 minutes of awkward talking in my car once we got there (neither of us wanted to end the conversation there), she invited me up to her apartment for tea.
I followed her upstairs and was met with a cozy little apartment with a trans flag on the wall, and she showed me her massive tea collection and introduced me to her roommates. We got through two brews of a tea I'd never heard of before I went home. 10/10, the best way to find out a person is trans is looking at her pride flag in her apartment over a cup of tea.
We still meet up for board games years later.
Vibe
"Ace don't experience discrimination" I have literally been called 'inhuman' and had people casually accuse me of pedophilia and bestiality, as if 'none thanks' is a less believable option than 'children'. Like, I feel like I've had a pretty good life, and I would call 99% of what I've gone through more 'impolite confusion' than active discrimination, but it definitely has an effect on some one's life, and if the person is less comfortable and confident in themselves, even impolite confusion can be pretty harmful when you get it from nine out of ten people you talk to.
Bro people who automatically assume those things about you when you say you're ace are awful people for that. I feel you.
On a semi related note I have seen people pretend to have an asexual lable just so no one can target them for pedophilia and beastiality. So while those cases do exist, if someone immediately assumes everyone who says they're asexual as that, that person assuming probably needs to be checked
"Impolite confusion" is a really good way of putting it.
You should see my huge argument thread on a comment I made regarding dating and looks. All I said was that I am Ace so I will never understand why people are so harsh about looks; that I love based on personality and my husband and I are going strong in comparison to most of the couples around me. It led to all sorts of people trying to say my seizures/disabilities since birth/genetic defects screwed me up and caused me to be Ace, that my mental illness did it, then my chronic pain/hEDS made me not like sex/enjoy sex, then my parents were to blame for educating me on the dangers of the world yet teaching me to be sex positive (ironically they were both supportive and not with me being Ace yet they let me just do my thing and didn't stop it) and somehow people are just cherry picking everything they can find in my comments/arguments to support that being Asexual doesn't exist and it is just insane!
@@oldladytrexarms I've always known that I've lived a wonderful life with very little negativity, even with the odd questions I've gotten through the 'ace' discussion. Your story, which I'm terribly sorry it happened to you, is a much better example of how aces *can* in fact be discriminated against. I'm glad to hear you and your husband are happy together despite the nonsense some people want to spew.
@@oldladytrexarms yup, people on CZcams always cherry pick comments. It's a form of chosen ignorance. They stay ignorant even tho the truth is right there just because of their hate.
Every comment I make about mu story on Jamie's channel someone always tries to cherry pick my argument despite the fact of me stating I'm happy XD.
But yeah hatred of the ace community makes no sense. Nothing is wrong with you to "make" you ace, you just are, that's how you were born.
The JaidenAnimations hate was crazy. Like damn, people really called them a psychopath for not wanted sex lmao
Or even worse accusing her of like 4D chess grooming because some idiots believe that saying you have no sexual attraction makes children more attracted/trusting towards you which makes them more vulnerable for grooming? IDK, we’re just living through the dumbest moral panic right now
@@SiRenfield It's so crazy. Some people will do insane mental gymnastics just to hate people.
@@10Gpixelsbut still that’s „Cirque du Soleil“ LvL of mental gymnastics
I would break my brain by trying to bend it by trying to follow their logic
Being a girl on the internet, you're gonna attract weirdos. It's a dark reality of the internet. Happens sometimes to men too but mostly women.
@@10Gpixels It really is
I am Ace. I always found it so confusing when people discriminate against us. I’m just you without a need for sex. I’m the epitome of “waiting for the right person.” Let me eat my garlic bread in peace.
On the bright side, we'll never have to worry about vampires with all the garlic bread we're given :D
My only problem with (some) ace people is I've met some that treat people that actually like sex as subpar individuals or shame them for it.
@@13thMaiden You right, no vampires for us!
As a non-ace, I have also found it confusing. I went quite a long time not having seen someone be openly ace, and I just assumed if it had ever happened, everyone would have been fine with it. Then I finally witnessed it and, well, I'm sure you know how that went. Yet another time almost everybody is all on the same page and I'm left scratching my head like "what just happened?"
It's funny how conservatives will always be like "SEX IS BAD, DON'T HAVE SEXX.!!!!! "
asexuals: literally exist
"NO, NOT LIKE THAT"
As an ace, I can confirm that YES, there is a difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction. Took me the longest time to figure that out. But I read a very good statement a while ago that sums it up perfectly: "Sometimes I see a person and feel attracted and start wondering if I'm really ace. But then I realise that I look at them the same way and with the same feelings that I look at a beautiful painting or a bookshelf. And I'm pretty sure that I don't want to bugger a bookshelf."
Same. It's like I can appreciate the beauty of art, but that doesn't mean I want to f*ck it.
I love the phrase "bugger a bookshelf", it has a nice rhythm to it.
@shadowldrago haha, thanks! I paraphrased, so I guess the literal phrase 'bugger a bookshelf' is indeed my own, so thanks a lot for the comment 😂😊
"aces aren't discriminated against"
Me every time I mention Im ace to a doctor, "whelp, time to do a blood test"
I am usually fine with that. Cuz there are multiple conditions which do take away the sex drive .and being ace The symptom just doesn't show. It's better to do a test to be safe. But it does get annoying if it happens everytime
@@KiyoGam1But there's a vast difference between "Doc, help me, I don't have libido and I used to/want to!!" vs "I psychologically am not interested in sex and don't want to be fixed." The doctor does not get to make that distinction.
@@j.d.thedragking2872 I know there is. But doctors tend to be paranoid old people who don't understand the spectrum. A lack of libido can be a symptom of a different underlying problem. And when you are ace . The underlying problem becomes asymptomatic. So they just test to make sure of it.
It's annoying I know I've been there. I am aroace. They mean well but are just uninformed
@@j.d.thedragking2872it IS important though, because it could be a genetic condition and can be due to a severe hormonal imbalance, which actively places you in danger.
@@xenogaming5997i dont think you understand. Libido and sexual attraction are not the same thing. Being ace doesnt mean you have erectile dysfunction. It just means your urges arent directed at a certain sex
My husband is currently a pizza delivery guy as his second (extra job) and he's never mentioned this as an issue. HOWEVER, when his second job was a bouncer at a club, this type of sexual harassment went on EVERY NIGHT. And YES, is sexual harassment, even if the woman is harassing the man. He hated it and his friends would laugh about it with me and say, "I don't know how he does it when women are always throwing themselves at him", thinking they were making it better or I would be "proud". Instead, it just made me question their own morals and ability to control themselves. SMH
The pizza guy thing was satire, but I hope your husband is doing better now and has better friends. I wish I could offer him something more than "that shouldn't have a happened to you."
On the plus side, sounds like you married a lovely guy. 😁
I'm a romantic so 👍❤️!
As someone who has worked furniture delivery jobs and security yes it happens.
Delivered a bed once. Helped the woman assemble it while the rest of the team brought the rest of the furniture in.
Woman: now we just need to test it...
Me: oh look I have another deliver
yikes @@crwydryny
Honestly that bouncer job sounds exhausting. The harassment alone sounds exhausting, I hope he never has to go back to dealing with that in any job he has. Well. And in general.
I once had someone tell me that ace minors are "too young to know" because kids "dont have those kinds of feelings yet" (ignoring the fact that puberty is a thing) and i asked her "what about gay kids?" And she said "thats different" like bruh how
With gay kids there an actual attraction there
withs Ace kids they could just be late in developing the feelings.
@@Titancameraman64 maybe, but if your kid comes out to you as ace, insisting that they're a late bloomer, haven't found the right person, or things like that feel incredibly demeaning and disrespectful. Mostly cause you don't know that. For example, i came out to my mom at 14 (she said all of the above) - im 22 now, still aromantic, still ace.
@@denjidenji9162exactly this!!! and if they eventually find out that the labels they’d had before no longer fit, that’s okay too! the thing they’ll remember (the thing i wish i got to have) is how their parents supported them through a period of self discovery (which can be incredibly difficult at times)!
i used to identify as aromantic asexual. i am now questioning my sexuality and romantic attraction again, and though i have yet to find a specific label that really fits, i know that the previous ones of aro and ace don’t fit me anymore. i so so wish i had heard less of “you’re a late bloomer” or “you don’t need to worry about that stuff right now anyway” because those comments just felt so diminishing at the time, and it made it hard for me to even feel comfortable bringing up the topic again
@@denjidenji9162 I'm in my mid-40s and Ace. I assure you that your parents will _continue_ to expect you to conform to their understanding of reality. 😩
(Thankfully at least I've reached the age where my parents have stopped whining about me not giving them grandkids.)
While I believe that sexual orientation is not something set in stone, it is still something a person feels about themselves. Figuring stuff out takes time and we don't always know whether tsomething about ourself changed or we discovered something new.
When I kid tells their parents about their preference, the parents should accept that that is their reality. What they discover in the future might be entirely different. So not a tone of "you will conform eventually" but "We love and support you. Your feelings now are valid. Just keep in mind that as you go through life and experience more and more, you might find things out about yourself that don't fit neatly into categories."
But what do I know. I think I'm pretty cis/het. Maybe demi but that's up for judgement.
I was reading a book that had the demon of Lust and he was reflecting on the various demisexual and asexuals he'd encountered and how they all wanted something i.e. shopping, eating, etc. And there was one person who really wanted soft things, so he'd found comforters and pillows and all the soft things he could and then they had a nice snuggle fest. Which sounded really lovely to me.
The book was A Beginner's Guide to Mistakenly Summoned Demons and other Misadventures by Shannon Mae
Why does the soft thing part really remind me of me and not just because I am Ace, but because I am disabled and my bed is covered in Squishmallows and a multitude of pillows and soft stuff cause I hurt all the time? That honestly would be me, too, if I had to ask the demon of Lust for something.
He must've been like "Finally, I get to sit down and just hang out with them, I'm tired af."
I think one of the most important things about ace representation and inclusion that people forget about is the number of ace people who assume they're broken and force themselves to be in toxic/abusive relationships and/or have sex because they think they're supposed to.
I think I have seen some of these before, sad
Me being that person 😭
Monkey D Luffy is a true ace icon. The one time he canonically displayed attraction to another character, the author came out and confirmed that he was just playing along with his allosexual friend. He's so ace he's immune to an attraction-based power that has been used successfully on inanimate objects.
"allistic" there sounded correct until I realized
Also Frieren, no?
I'm finally convinced to watch One Piece.
@@MaticTheProto I wouldn't know, I'm behind on current anime
wait luffy is autistic?
I had a succubus/incubus dream that my asexuality made really funny. I was at a bar having a cocktail and this really handsome guy walked up and started chatting with me about psychology. It's a field I care a lot about and he was super engaging and well informed. We had a great conversation, then he hit on me and I turned him down. He left. A few minutes later a super hot woman with large boobs comes and sits with me and strikes up a conversation about sociology, another field I care a lot about. She's equally engaging and well informed. After a few minutes, she hits on me and I turn her down. Then the dream succubus/incubus shifts back into its true form and is like "OK the first time you turned me down I figured you just weren't into men but you turned me down as a woman too, what's up with that?" I explained my asexuality to the succubus/incubus and it felt better about itself, so I guess I made a spectral friend? Lol.
>it felt better about itself
It was closeted, wasn't it?
Isn't this a tumblr post? I remember reading this on tumblr
@@dannhoff6646 I've told the story online before so someone else might have reposted it to tumblr.
id want this as a short animated video or something. be nice representation or another way to explain some of ace stuff.
Oh my gosh I love this!
I think the "you're not ugly, you're just not your type" statement just changed my outlook on myself in an instant
"Aces don't belong in the LGBTQ+ because they're not getting sh*t on for being ace"
Then why am I always surprised when a youtuber is genuinely supportive of us?
But seriously, I was nervous to click on this video, because I can never be sure how people handle the the topic of asexuality. A lot of people dismiss us, or pity us, or are downright hateful. And even well meaning people are barely educated beyond the surface level, despite making entire videos about us or the broader LGBTQ+ community.
Thank you for being a genuine ally. It's means more to us than you know.
real! and when theyve taken the time to educate themselves it just makes it so much better! i discovered this channel recently and have seen this video pop up on my suggestions a few times, but never looked bc ive been burned before. its very nice to see someone with some kind of reach actually care about people like me. (and i literally cannot stress enough how happy i was that he knew what he was talking about. i was cheering for him through most of this video)
"Ace isn't part of LGBT+ because you aren't persecuted because of that sexual identity." Bro, you literally just persecuted someone because of their sexual identity.
See replies for your arguments. Got that it isn't really persecution, but not going to chicken out and edit it.
i agree that ace people are lgbt, but that isnt a good argument. with an argument like that, you can also just say "heterosexual people arent lgbt because they arent persecuted for their identity" and then boom, they would be persecuted as well. a better argument is one that says lgbt status isnt defined by persecution but just not being straight and/or cis
@@theappler9516I'd say we both have to deal with heteronormativity
Me: I’m asexual.
Coworker: You never get horny?
Me: Not never just like not enough to do something about it.
Coworker: Well that’s boring. You’ll never find someone to marry.
😅
@@theappler9516 Fair point, but it does go into gatekeeping where some community members will say being ace isn't real and just people wanting clout or something, or because aces are able to slip under the hetero-normative radar, so to speak.
@@kassiedelong7983 Ask if they're only interested in their partner because they can sleep together, and not for their personality, intellect, or looks; that should get your point across.
The succubi thing reminded me of a post about how "asexuals are immune to sirens". Then someone else brought up how sirens don't necessarily tempt you with secks since in the Odyssey, the sirens tempted Ulysses with the prospect of knowledge and wisdom.
So in my case, all a siren would have to do is say they have cheesecake, and I'd dive right off the boat
All the sirens would need to say is "Free Pizza". 😅They wouldn't even need to mention bread-sticks.
Sirens : Gar~lic breaaad!
@@sintanan469yep, just got me
So Ulysses was ace?
@@0Shanna I mean I'd be game for that, but I'm pretty sure it's because of his love for his wife Penelope he wouldn't have been tempted by secks from the sirens
I generally stay in the closet about being ace because I'm fucking sick of people treating a dude who doesn't want sex as "weird" or "broken". There's this idea that I'm not a "real man" because I don't turn into a drooling pig whenever someone attractive comes around. I can appreciate someone having a nice body, regardless of their gender, but it's the same way I look at a cool painting or a trailer for a movie I like. Add in the fact that I'm trans and everyone just loses their shit about how I'm just confused and hurting myself. Thank you for your understanding approach and your general practice of accepting everyone until proven otherwise, it really gets me through the day.
You are 100% valid
I'm in the same boat
I'm an ally. We are not the "A," in LGBTQIA+. I think it's odd that an ally would claim that position, especially after being corrected, and with the ability to look up accurate information.
Claiming the "A" as an ally would be like calling myself a football player because I learned the rules of the game; buy merch; stand up for my team, whether they're popular or not; and cheer from the stands. That makes me a fan, not an athlete.
Teachers, especially, have a duty to ensure that the information they teach is as accurate as possible. It is incredibly important for teachers to model humility and graciousness, instead of stupidly doubling down on the error.
It's really weird, being an ally just means you support them and maybe go to events and have fun! The point is you aren't in the community, but you would absolutely be someone there to support those having a hard time
I think a lot of allies are more members of the community than say Terfs. There are some non-queer people who have literally put their lives on the line (and careers and reputations) to protect and serve queer people, particularly during the AIDS crisis and I would call them a member of the community any day above an ace exclusionist or whatever. But anyone who says A stands for ally and NOT ace, aro, or agender is absolutely not an ally and needs to stfu. And there's a big difference between "ohhh I'm an ally....but don't do that in front of me and why do you have to dress like that" and "I will actively defend your right to be who you are even if it ends up getting me shunned by my community or killed"
For no particular reason, I enjoy this subreddit
Is that the russian flag in your pfp
I cant possibly think of a reason you would like this subreddit either. Huh, weird.
we'll never know why
What country is on your pfp
@@anotparticularlynotableguyAre you serious? That's the homophobic flag.
I will never understand the discrimination against asexuals or the people who think it doesn't happen. I've literally been denied medical care by my (now former) doctor because I refused to take STI tests when I wasn't sexually active. My doctor insisted it was just a side effect of childhood trauma and that once I healed, I would want to have Adult Fun Time so badly that I would not be able to wait until I could tested to find a smexual partner. She literally canceled my prescriptions and put down in my medical records that I was hostile and resistent to recieving care. All because I said "girl i barely leave the house how am i going to contract herpes?"
That's when you find a new doctor.
I've "fired" 2 doctors and need to look for a new GP, because they weren't listening to me.
@John_Weiss yeah that was the last time i saw that doctor. Sadly I have bad luck with finding doctors who listen to me. I may need to check my chart to make sure previous GPs haven't written things on my chart that make me look bad.
Apparently we get denied adopting kids nevermind trying to get housing because we..... Won't bring back strange men to make messes with???? And that's bad apparently?????
That really sucks. I have not had proper health care in all my adult years until a couple years ago I was introduced to a clinic that was fairly cheap due to having a lot of private funding. I had recently just come out, or rather found out I was ace, and confided in my doctor. The first thing she said was, "Thank you for trusting me to tell me that." Honestly, since I had only just learned about being Ace for maybe three months at the time, I had no clue why she was thanking me. It wasn't until I learned more about the community that I realized I had it easy coming out to my healthcare provider.
Sadly, she moved on to greener pastures and I now have a male doctor that I have no clue how to just be straight and tell him. His wife is the gynecologist and when she asked me, "How do you protect yourself?" I was confused as to why she would ask me that, so she rephrased it, "How do you protect yourself from s*x?" I immediately replied, "Easy, not get married." I did not enjoy the procedure.
I dunno I got conjunctivitis from the cats 😫🤣
I loved the demi standard "like other people" thing because when I told my mom that there was a point I thought I was demi because I on a singular occasion felt attraction to another human and it was a close friend, and my mom asked me to explain what that was. Then she went: "But that's just normal. All this hyper-sexualization in the world is just fiction." and "I didn't feel sexual attraction until I met your dad." I'm almost certain that she's just a demi herself. xD
lol part of the reason it took me so long to catch on that I was aroace is that my mom dated 1 guy for a week when she was 14 and didn't date again until she met my dad after college. I briefly had a bf in high school (who I wasn't attracted to) and was like Ahhh my experiences are completely normal and I am right on track to a het relationship
I suppose my biggest asexual moment was learning that "Netflix and Chill" didn't actually mean just hanging out watching Netflix. It meant "we gonna bump uglies with Netflix in the background". It was pretty funny when I told coworkers I was going to Netflix and chill with a guy friend, them getting all giddy and hyping me up and me just standing in asexual confusion.
nah that phrase is confusing though, my mom thinks it’s literal and she’s allo 😭 also bump uglies is a new one lmao
@@lemongloves Actually bump uglies is an old one lol
I also went through not understanding that, I blame them for making a name that sounds so nice and calm for something I find disgusting
@@Solstice261 To be fair, the vast majority do not find it disgusting, so you can't really blame the naming either.
@@MartinFinnerup fair, but I want to be petty
Vow of chastity: holy person
Ace: freak.
I'm currently thinking about starting a religion where we all take a vow of chastity and worship cats.
Sounds fun! Would there be any other tenets? I am assuming garlic bread & cake will be important 😁🍰
@jinxcraft1170 Absolutely. And Netflix and chilled beverages.
Also, if one finds it expedient to break the vow of chastity, the atonement is to clean out the litter box.
Also cheese. Blessed are the cheese makers.
Can i make the pantheon? I have several ideas already (worldbuilding is my strong suit)
@@Jacqueline_Thijsenhelp i’m lactose intolerant, how will we connect with the sacred cheese people
@ashlingemberstone3913 From what I understand, a lot of lactose intolerant people will happily set the world on fire or at least smother it in gas because cheese is just that good.
But I think there are lactose free cheeses. Vegan cheese perhaps? Ooh, that can be your holy quest, finding a vegan or otherwise lactose free cheese that actually tastes good!
As an asexual myself, I really appreciate you covering this subreddit and your nuanced takes
I really enjoy One Topic At A Time's videos on LGBT+ reddits as well.
Just don't watch the House episode "Better Help". It is beyond abysmal for ace representation.
How is there acephobia! Yall are like the most precious little beans!
from my experience with ace people, they always have some sort of unresolved/unconfronted childhood trauma, or they have some misunderstanding about the sexual urges of other people, making them believe that normal people act like the extremely sensitive virginal protagonists of harem anime
@@starspangledkiwi7224 I’ll refer you to the comment below yours for an example of acephobia.
Artist here. Anguish, sex, or whatever the third thing was are not necessary for creating art. A compulsion to create is all that is necessary.
Art can be made for any reason with any inspiration
Ngl They post kinda upset me as someone who makes art because I like to make art
Especially when it comes to my original ideas.
That whole thing of "what are you doing?!" was my whole experience as well. When I was in college, I literally had a girl in my bed watching anime until 1:00am. I looked at the clock and went "Woah... we both have class in the morning. You should go back to your room." People were asking me all week why I didn't let her stay, to which I kept going "...cause we had class... in the morning?" UTTERLY CONFUSED.
Took me another 10 years and a failed long term relationship to go "Oh wait... I'm asexual..."
I feel this is a good place to mention this. I've had an acquaintance tell me, multiple times, that if I keep saying I'm AroAce, no one will want to date me. At this point, I just answer "I know" or "Isn't it great" and laugh when he gets confused. I don't think he understands lol.
But if you keep telling everyone you're aroace, how are you gonna sleep with a wahman?
@@LGBTQLegendRight!!! Or a man, either way, not happening lol
Also, there are cats.
@@tealkerberus748Cats are much better than whatever the allos are doing lol
"That's the point" is a good answer too
I'm ace, and I fell in love with my friend who is aro. He's really into me, but in a way I can't feel about him; I'm really into him, but in a way he can't feel about me. We both know it would never work out, so we're just friends. More tragic than anything Shakespeare could ever come up with.
ouch. that hurts even while reading. you okay?
Devastating
An ace and aroace attracted to each other? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of being ace and aro, especially aro?
Coming from someone with little knowledge of this community, sought to learn more.
@@xSakuraStrawberryx The asexual is romantically attracted to the aromantic, while the aromantic is sexually interested in the asexual.
@@xSakuraStrawberryx There is Actually a Difference
Aro Short For Aromantic is a person who feels no Romantic Attraction but can have Sexual attractions
Ace is Short for Asexual is a person who feels no Sexual Attraction
but can feel Romantic Attraction
and Aroace Short for aromantic asexual is Someone who feels No sexual AND Romantic Attraction
the thing with demi is like...there's a difference between not wanting to rush into sex with someone, and physically not being attracted to them until you know them better
I'm ace (Aegosexual specifically) and I only found out I was in 2022. I kept questioning why I didn't feel attracted that way to people but I still fantasized about it
(I never imagine myself because that icked me out). Until I finally realized "oh shit, I'm Aego." From a ace guy explaining what it was on CZcams.
I struggled for years telling myself "no I can't be ace, I'm still fantasizing about it and reading smut." And I finally felt okay with myself, I didn’t feel like I was struggling.
Unfortunately ace is sometimes seen as invalid, even in the community we're supposed to be safe in. But I'm going to wear my purple, gray, black, and white with pride
AGHGHDIFKDVAKK you won’t believe what just happened to me 😂
I ain’t ever heard of this term until today, things make sense now
@@thobbit Welcome to the club lol, remember to research it a bit more to. Once I found out what Aego was everything I experienced made sense finally, it's definitely a good but also slightly anxious feeling.
What is it? I never heard it before
I think they get upset about the sex before marriage/being ace thing because they feel that it NEEDS to be a struggle; you have to prove you can "resist temptation"
Yep. I've literally been told I'm sinning for not experiencing sexual attraction.
@@waffles3629 by their own rules, those who would say that are sinning by judging you. They suck.
@@missnaomi613 bingo. One person even admitted it was something I couldn't control, but that refusing to try to change it anyway meant I wanted to live in sin.
@@waffles3629 wow, they need therapy.
That's good reasoning which is why we can be sure this is definitely not what they're doing, people like that usually don't have actual reasons
Still a good headcanon though
One thing that annoys me as an asexual is when people don't know the difference between aromantic and asexual. Yes they're similar but they are not the same.
And then there's people that think you're calling them stinky because they mentally added an n.
Being a romantic ace can be hard too. I find that most people just can't comprehend love without sex. At least in terms of my family and such.
They tend to be the same people who have relationship issues if sex starts lacking, it seems. When I explain how my husband and I have been married 16 years now and how during surgeries and such... le gasp... we don't have sex, people get so shocked like they were like "Omg just deal with the pain there's no reason to wait so long" like that's a normal response. Then I tell them that we are ace and just don't really have sex; that life and being together is so much more fun and they find that odd, too. Telling them you're demi and getting the "omg, isn't that what everyone does?" is so annoying so I say "ok, how long did you wait to bang your bf/gf after you started dating and usually it's a few days/dates/months max and I'm like... we couldn't find it in us to care/want to even try for 6 years. That shuts them up.
@@oldladytrexarms Yeah. Congrats of finding a partner though. I hope you are and stay happy together.
@3:58. There is a term called "aegosexual" and it pretty much means that you're aren't sexually attracted to anyone, but media and fantasies "turn you on". I'm aegosexual and I find the concept of sex appealing until I'm somehow involved lol.
Well, fantasy is fun, reality is dangerous, so it makes sense. You can do everything and anything in a fantasy and not have to worry about bad consequences. And you can just "stop" what going on in there on a whim and still be satisfied.
Omg there's a word for what I am
Ah yes, that's me. All my sexuality is poured into ships and OC's, hah.
thats me probably
Yeah, it fits like a glove in a lot of ways. "It's hot, so long as I'm not one of them."
I’m ace. I’m also married (I do have romantic feelings). We did sex therapy, where they actually almost broke our relationship because we didn’t know I am ace. Even now, we’ve had friends give us toys for the bedroom as gifts because they think I just need to be fixed. They just don’t understand. I also had really awkward friend group events. Like Ann summers parties.
Friends giving you sex toys… ouff that’d be awkward, reminds me of a story of Louis the 15th
It may just be my opinion but I feel like friends giving sex toys in general is kind of weird. Like, my sex life is completely unrelated to you
if they think that you need to be fixed then they arent good friends
You should get new friends. If they aren’t listening to you, that’s not friendship
@@thescrimblofilesI, Internet Uncle-Gay🏳️🌈, say you are valid and are part of my community.
When people say that you won't know until you try it, the only right thing to say is "I have tried not having sex and it is amazing"
Omg this is amazing, I'm gonna shamelessly steal that lol
Totally gonna use this
Best reply ever!🎉
"Can you be asexual and still have sex?"
Yes. Its more about pleasing your partner than your own sexual gratification. You do it because you love them and want to make them feel good, but it doesnt really 'do anything' for you.
Ace/aro here :) Late reply but to add that; you can be ace and still enjoy intimate time with just you and yourself, but are not interested in having sex with another person either by lack of sexual attraction towards other people or being sex repulsed (or have sex consensually with your partner for your partner, like you mentioned).
As far as I am aware, yes you can, depends on where you fall in the spectrum, some people ( me) may be disgusted by it to the point where we avoid the word, others might just not feel anything about it and then it just becomes a way to show affection,
Ignore what I said first reply expresses it perfectly
I don't know where I read it, but there was an analogy for that, that would be baking cake to someone you appreciate even though you don't like cake.
12:30 I believe that the label Click is referring to is Demisexuality, which is a part of the ace community where someone only gets attracted to people that they know well, but is otherwise basically like any other ace person. It’s one of the more common sublabels in the Ace community.
It is hilarious to me that my parents tell me I shouldn’t kiss someone before marriage because that could lead to ooky spooky sex, but when I’ll come out to them as ace one day, they’ll try to convince me that I do in fact want to harm my mental/ physical health so I can live out the life they want me to live.
I’m a simple guy.
I like my Spagetti with tomato sauce
I like rewatching the same movie over and over again
AND I DONT WANT SEX.
I'm too old to tell my parents that I'm Ace, because I don't have the stamina needed to explain, and re-explain, to them what being Ace even is. Good luck in your efforts.
Gotta ask, what movie? I find Megamind eminently re-watchable, but my roommates get annoyed. Thinking maybe I should change it up a bit. 😅
As if the typical sequence of *"no Fun Times!"* turning into *"girlfriend/boyfriend when?"* as soon as they deem you adult enough, turning into *"wedding when?"* as soon as they see you hang out with a same age person of the other gender and finally turning into *"grandkids when?"* or outright *"give grandkids!"* (Basically telling their child to have s*x) upon the wedding wasn't creepy enough... 😪
People just get too nosy and exited for other people's lives sometimes. Especially they're own kid's or young family members' lives...
Real
I am also asexual and my gf isn’t
I’m worried that coming out to her will ruin our relationship
@@Ieatsockssssmy advice would be this (based on a few minor assumptions which may be wrong):
You should make sure she knows the ways in which you *do* feel attracted to her, especially if you've been in this relationship for a while - basically making sure that no *sexual* attraction doesn't get misunderstood as no attraction at all. If you don't think she knows much about the topic, it might be worth trying to explain what it is slightly before you come out (as in "this is what asexuality is, and how asexuals still love people, which is how I feel ago" kind of deal).
After that point, it kinda comes down to her. Either she'll be okay with it, or she won't. If she is, you didn't need to worry. If it causes problems, it's still better that it's approached directly than if she just finds out later - talking about it directly will probably make it a lot easier to reconcile any potential differences on that front, and find a way you can both be happy. If it does "ruin your relationship", then it was still something that was always going to be an issue, and it's probably better to get it over and done with earlier rather than later.
I get it can be daunting, but stuff like this will always come out eventually. The longer it's kept secret, the more likely it is to cause problems. If you're on the same page about what you each want and expect from the start, then the worst case scenario is that you both realise it's not going to be able to work, and agree you're better off as friends - which might still feel like a bad outcome, but it's better if you realise this with a conversation at the start, than a few months later with a fight.
I always love the 'ace people aren't oppressed because nobody cares if you don't want that' argument because it's painfully obvious they've never been repeatedly told 'you just haven't found the right person yet' or 'you can't know you don't like it if you've never tried it', or had people try to set you up with a hookup because they think they know better than you.
People care way too much about other people's business ahaha
It's painfully obvious that they care.
I don't think they view micro aggressions as oppressive, which they definitely are.
this comment >>>
Hell even single hetro people aren't badgered for being single by some people. Ofcourse non hetro people are given shit for simply existing. Humans are morons.
It just made the sexual harassment worse.
I love seeing all the Ace people vibing and being supportive in the comments.
Not Ace myself, but I am very queer and I never understood why there's such a massive wall between the Ace community and the rest of the LGBTQ peeps.
Y'all have the most wholesome, chill, loyal bff vibes, and you're obviously just as valid.
This whole community is supposed to be about the celebration of our individual "abnormal" sexuality.
. . . not having much or any sexual attraction is very obviously and always has been a part of it-
Horny Ace here; first exposure to the concept of Ace was in collage was Daisy. She flirted HEAVILY with basically everyone, but was sex repulsed.
"No one's ever gitten beat up for being asexual."
But they've died...
I remember when I was in middle school I came across an article about this young woman, 20 at most but I think she was 18 or 19, who had a largish following on instagram. She came out as ace and started getting stalked and eventually... Yeah, no happy ending.
Oh shit
Ppl got insanely heated over Jaden so it is not hard to extrapolate. My mom's generation also commonly got heated over George Michael coming out as gay, I asked what about Elton John and Freddie Mercury?😵 welp 😫...
...
♦️♣️Never figured it out since mom wouldn't outright say it (until my late teens)♥️♠️
I have some PTSD from being constantly sexually assaulted by my gay friend and young boys who felt they could touch me because I was the one weirdo not interested in sex when we were in school so they thought it meant they could do what they want to me and I wouldn't get offended; it didn't help I have the inattentive ADHD so my sister and some protective friends had to start defending me cause that is how a lot of this happened. Eventually I met and started dating my now husband of 16 years who is Ace like me. Him and his best friend really helped put a stop to those things happening once we started dating because I explained my multiple disabilities to him and he started looking out for me and has been since. So, it does happen even if it isn't completely as deadly as being gay.
@@oldladytrexarms ❤️
Even though this is just general advice for anyone, STOP HINTING! Flirting or not. STOP HINTING AT THINGS AND JUST COMMUNICATE!!
YES. I FOUND THIS BADGE WITH THE AUTISTIC INFINITY THING SAYING “PLEASE BE BLUNT”
(SORRY THIS IS ALL IN CAPS)
@@ashlingemberstone3913 That was my first thought too! Because I'm autistic. And man, have I ever just wished people would say what they meant and be direct. Turns out they kind of were, but I wasn't getting the social signals that are apparently obvious to most people. I literally (not figuratively) can't even imagine what it's like to know that stuff automatically.
It's taken me DECADES to figure out what facial expressions and "body language" means. I'm still working on it. Also that not everyone who's curious about something wants an info dump of the minutiae on the topic. Because I sure do!
@@jooleebilly YES
also, if you’re looking for someone to infodump on, what be your current special interest?
That my friend is very good advice 😊
@@jooleebilly Forty-eight years of undiagnosed and untreated ADHD here. I realize it's not precisely the same, but I feel very similar. I still have to learn social cues and things that I missed, and I'm not really young anymore, so I feel dumb constantly.
my mom was like that, she was always like "don't have sex before marriage!" and I was like "I'm ace" and she was like "if you don't have sex your husband will leave you!" I also had someone say "I think we should all be asexual until marriage" which....wow...I no longer ID as ace but the things I was told were wild
I'm on the Ace spectrum, too. I'm Aceflux. Sometimes sexual attraction and/or touch makes me feel like I wanna vomit, curl up in a ball, and turn into dust. Other times, I'm ok with it, and sometimes I'm ok with touch but not anything further.
It wasn't delivery, but when I worked at McDonalds someone tried to offer sex to me for payment for a 60$ order. I just said "so you don't want to pay for what you ordered? I can cancel it for you right now"
They awkwardly paid and tried to get coupons at the next window. Where the manager told them to get lost.
holy shit 😂 that's seriously so messed up and awkward! Also like... $60??
@@bruh-xx6kr It was a kick i the teeth order - 4 of those huge bundle box meals, plus 10 drinks, and a few other things. 60$ might not even be enough for what their order was, but it was like 6-7 years ago now
We once dared a friend to "drop her bath towel" when the pizza guy arrived. He insisted he didn't need a cash tip!
I once had a university professor say that asexuality is when people choose not to have sex. I corrected her, but she said "you can't control how other people identify." I was ace questioning at the time. The same year I had a guy try to convince me I wasn't ace
Who in this day and age has not heard of abstinence...?
I once tried explaining asexuality to a relative... long story short, he declared HIMSELF an asexual after giving me the most incelish speech I've heard from him
Basically, he was ace because "his horrible, abusive (thankfully now ex) wife hadn't done it with him for two decades!" ... btw, that was bs, and I can testify. Effing walls are paper thin. Plus, HE was the horrible one.
@@secaleohsrevlis2039fr, I was like... no, that's called being celibate, not the same thing
@@secaleohsrevlis2039And she was a SOCIOLOGY professor too
I hate when ppl say that "Asexuality is just not wanting to have sex" sooooo much. You can be straight, gay, bi, whatever, and not want to have sex. That doesn't automatically make you asexual and not all asexuals don't not want to have sex. Most asexuals just aren't generally interested in it bc they're not attracted to anyone to begin with.
As someone under the ace umbrella, I have been demi for such a long time. And then when I met my bf, we immediately clicked and everything just felt natural, both romantic and in sexuality. He respected me wanting to take time at first and even later on when I wasn’t always up for it. He’s one of the most supportive people I know but definitely not asexual himself. Good people for us do exist out there. ☺️
Can I just say, 13:44 the person not only not getting weird when denied again that no, not gay either, but KNOWING OUR LORE AND CONTINUING THE JOKE WITH OUR SACRED BREADSTUFFS is so iconic
"astethicly pleasing things sell" well yeah, why do you think we watch you click?
For his inclusivity and random rants?
His voice and his kindness, mixed with a bit of wicked humour
All of this
His ASMR voice.
I.. just imagined him saying that in the voice and I had to giggle.
As Aro ace I concur
I think something a lot of people don't understand when being explained asexuality is that for a lot of asexuals the physical part of attraction is not there at all. If you ask an asexual what kind of person they like, or what part of the body catch their attention first or who they find attractive often they won't be able to answer, asexuals know what someone beautiful is supposed to look like but usually won't see what part of it is supposed to excite you or make be attractive
Asexuals just haven't met pyramid head. Not even asexuals can resist the appeal of that triangle.
I assume it's like that business card scene in American Psycho, where everyone who's obsessing over the details of the cards are the ones interested in sex, but the people who just see ordinary business cards are asexual?
@@LGBTQLegendI'm asexual but I see what you're saying 🤤 unfortunately real people don't be having those sexy sexy head triangles 😂
well I have favourite parts of body I like to draw, hands are dufficzlt to draw but super beautiful when drawn well... tho always liked drawing face the most.Like I like human anatomy except one part, never want to draw the naugthy bits.
I've just taken to telling people "It's like when you see ( a person from whatever demographic they don't happen to be sexually attracted to), but you still think they look nice. Nothing down there responds, and that's okay."
8:48 For the ones who don't know any latin based language:
"Sex: Masculine
Feminine
Gay
Lesbian
Weeb
Asexual
Pokemon"
Don't know about Latin, but marico is basically 'gay' in Spanish. Which would fit the options.
@@nAMEHless Ooooooh thanks! Thinking better it makes sense lol
LATIN MENTIONED!! 🔥🔥🔥🗣🗣🗣 SPQR!! 🔥🔥🔥 LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE! 🔥🔥🔥
@@nAMEHless idk abt you but where im from its equivalent to the f slur is that the same/similar in other spanish speaking countries?
A while ago (like... Around 10 years or so?) there was a survey in the US about who people would be the most ADVERSE to have as a roommate based on their sexuality. Almost everyone in the survey was against having an Ace roommate. I don't know if it can still be found online but I remember feeling seriously puzzled when I saw it. Like... Are you offended they might not be attracted to you or something...?? What.
That part with the vampire and the necklace suddenly reminded me of that Doctor Who episode in which Rose's mother tries to seduce the Doctor by going "There's a man in my bedroom..." and he just goes *...wtf?*😂
Wait what? That - HUH? why would somebody be against an ace roommate?
I would guess when there would be hope for a romantic or sexual relationship, but that wouldn't have to be a room mate?
I would kind of get it from nymph-people to not make the roommate uncomfortable but I don't think there are that many sexdriven people out there that would be considering themselves as nymph
@@lilysnape6520 yeah that left me pretty puzzled as well. I still don't get it honestly. I heard people say that ace people freak them out because "everybody wants to have sex and not wanting to is unnatural" but... that's rubbish really. I just don't get it. 👀
I was in a QSA (Queer straight alliance) in high-school, and a group of is were making pennants on a string of pride flags. I said "aww we don't have colors for ace" (I'm panromantic axesual) and someone said "asexuality isn't a part of the lgbtq+ community because they don't face oppression" . And the others agreed????? Like wtf
So they were being oppressive, while saying ace isn't oppressed? Cool. Cool. People suck.
@@jennthya6982 mind rot truly is everywhere
yea my hs alliance was a bit like that but it was more of lack of representation or like people saying they were valid cus at that time i was relying on others to hint that what i felt was valid but i kinda just ghosted it instead.
my college’s alliance has a lot of aces (more than half my friend group is ace or generally lgbtq)
"QSA"
Shit like this irritates me so much. I didn’t realise I was ace (asexual, hetero-romantic) until about 2 years ago and only just really came out to a few of my friends and family about 4-5 months ago. I have a good number of queer friends. Two of my close friends are gay guys and they are very excepting, but there’s a bi girl who’s kinda an acquaintance and she’s said some weird stuff. Recently, it was how I shouldn’t come with her and some other people (including my BEST friend, who’s straight) to a gay club. I’m not a big clubbing person, so I wouldn’t have really liked it anyway, but it was the fact that she said it that pissed me off.
ASEXUAL ARMY GATHER!!!!!!!
Aroace regiment reporting in, commander!
Yo!
I'm heeere! I've got pancakes :D
I’m here!
Gathered.
Anime has quite a few ace icons
Luffy
Senku (dr stone)
Saiki (the disastrous life of saiki k)
Freiren (beyond jouneys end)
Anzu (romantic killer)
OMG I LOVE SAIKI K!!! ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THE SERIES
34:12 gonna give benefit of the doubt here and say at least some of these are just instances of "i always keep a condom in my wallet and i didn't remove it before attending"
It can be very dangerous to be ace in intolerant communities like the military or police force because if you choose not to have sex with anyone, it may look like you’re hiding wanting to have sex with the same gender and even if you’re not homosexual, you get ascribed to that group by others, and Sometimes attacks can happen as a result. Also, the number of people who think you’re weird and broken and then don’t trust you because they don’t know your motivations. And the number of people who genuinely think if you are not interested in sex, you are sociopathic or psychopathic is far farther from zero than anyone is comfortable with.
@@killsims mostly because most people don’t really understand either ace or sociopathy. They don’t understand that what is in their mind one flavor of broken does not mean other flavors. Despite neither meaning broken, just slightly different. Because of all of the cop shows and other things and mainstream media, even sociopathy and psychopathy are not represented accurately. There are people who can register on those spectrum’s who are perfectly nice kind, and average people, they just interact with the world very differently.
@@killsims its cause of how the sociopaths and psychopaths get portrayed on true crime shows.
When murder isnt a sex thing it sticks out in peoples memories and they remember it because the criminal did it with zero motivation or reason besides liking murder itself
Its not a real connection between the two but the average person just has a vague idea of illnesses based on what they remember seeing on TV and they usually connect unrelated things together.
Like a lot of people I know think furries are zoophiles whenever the topic comes up.
Or many people think downs syndrome and autism are the same thing so if you meet someone who says theyre autistic but doesnt have downs syndrome the other person doesnt believe them.
Its infuriating how uninformed the average person is.
Maybe its because I live rural but I run into things like this all the time.
But you cant correct people every single time or you'd be a freak who gets avoided.
So you have to go "oh I think they're different things" and just gently plant the seed of a idea that the other person isnt correct and then next time theyll be like "oh hey Mel you were right cause I asked my cousin who has a downs student and she said theyre different and autism is the one where people throw chairs and have tantrums"
still wrong. but a tiny step forwards. at least hes not gonna accuse disabled people of lying anymore.
I’m a sex repulsed aro/ace. I’ve always hated the line “You just haven’t met the right person yet,” or “you’ll change your mind when you get older.” It’s nice to see that there are others that had experienced this type of mindset
Honestly you're so valid
I'm Grey Ace and have so many layers to my asexuality including repulsion when its a topic in conversations or media.
Being on the ace spectrum is one of my biggest reasons for avoiding dating apps. (I'm a hopeless romantic but due to my sexuality being complicated I just haven't tried bc I feel unlovable)
I’m in highschool, not rly out but like whenever parents mention kids and other stuff like that I’m like no I really don’t want that and they r always like no that will change T.T
I get that so freakin often. My 2 go-tos are "needing to meet the right person before I experience attraction is still being queer/on the A spectrum, that's the definition of demi" and "so [name], how can you be sure that you aren't into [gender]? Have you ever really tried dating them? Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet, you just need to open yourself up to opportunities". etc - I have gotten an "ahhhh I get it now" from several people with that last one but there is just no helping some people.
39:09 “Sex doesn’t have an Easter update” Not with that attitude it doesn’t
4:42, yes, we do, because it has nothing to do with "h0rniness", it just happens when anything fucking touches it in any degree and it SUCKS. bonus dysphoria points for me because I'm transfemme and I want bottom surgery SO BAD :(
I always assumed I was a “late bloomer” because that was the narrative I encountered. But I’m in my mid thirties, and have finally realized there’s no flower malingering inside. I’m asexual, and it’s such a relief to have the words for it now.
Welcome to the club! Have some cake. 🍰
I'm 55 and only realized I'm asexual in the last few years. Before, I thought there was something wrong with me.
"You thought I was a flowering plant? Jokes on you, I'm Lycen!"
@@secaleohsrevlis2039 The cake is a lie!!
Lol, I know, right?! I have finally come to understand/embrace who I am, and I finally get the whole being proud of your orientation thing on a whole new level. You can tell close-minded people think it's about being proud of who like you to bang or not bang, but of course it's about accepting and loving yourself in the face of a hostile world. I feel so free. I wish I knew this about myself my whole life, because I kinda did, and really didn't. I felt like should be an option,, but everyone else seemed so ready to dive in, and nobody brought up that there was another way that's natural too. I too have been waiting so long for the "special feelings", and found myself always being impatient with romantic plotlines in books and movies that were always really just shoehorned in, and casually mocking smexy commercials like, does this work on anyone lol? Eventually, I realized I was the outlier. But now I really want to make ace friends, and write my ace novel that actually has deep platonic friendships, with a plot that isn't sidelined by love (**cough**lust**cough**) triangles
I'm ace and demiromantic. In one of my smaller classes at school, we had a fun mini-assignment where we had to describe our ideal partner and how we met them. I was absolutely shocked when people described a love-at-first-sight trope every time with the person's physical appearance down to a T. And then THEY were confused when I said that I could only imagine falling in love with someone who I've known for a while, and I genuinely didn't care what she looked like. I think they assumed that I was pretending to be better than I was to avoid looking like a "toxic man" (I'm one of the only AMAB people in that class) when I just genuinely don't have an idea of a perfect partner, and I find being attracted to looks so weird.
I'm asexual and could describe my "ideal partner" physically quite well, but that only describes the kind of body I like looking at basically. What I find aesthetically pleasing. I'm quite strict in who I find good looking and I kinda refuse the idea of being with someone I wouldn't find nice to look at, but I know personality is so much more important and I've heard often enough that when you love someone you don't really see their looks anymore,like they look perfect to you no matter what they look like. Being with someone I've known for a while as friend sounds like a good idea to me cause it's so much more chill to get to know them that way, but I'd find it incredibly difficult to take the step to be together and ask them out. Idk. My whole romantic attraction confuses me af.
@@brokenprincessofhell4743 I experience a slightly similar sort of thing, but for me it's quite literally just the aesthetic the person chooses to present, because that often says a lot about a person - like a punk aesthetic or some such. I find myself attracted to people because of their clothes, and it's slightly confusing.
FINALLY someone who also had this activity in school. In my class, we were divided by gender and told to reach a group consensus on the ideal partner in terms of looks. It's there when I realized how much my classmates think about looks and certain people. The girl group very quickly started pulling out reference photos that were already on their phones. Talking about things down to the finest details. Even hyper focusing on a specific boy in the school who was literally in the class and could hear everything they were saying about his shirtless photos. (Seriously the teacher should have stopped them. He clearly wasn't completely comfortable with the attention even if those were public photos. This activity would never happen like this these days.) The boys was so much more awkward and vague about things to not be seen as creepy. I just moved away from both groups, looked at my teacher and said I just wanted my partner to be my height or a bit taller. And that wasn't even a firm requirement. I never paid much attention to people's looks or thought about the looks of some "dream partner." But became clear that others very much did a lot.
I am discovering things about myself on this thread and in general through Click and this video.
I always get repulsed when men ask me for s~e~x on the FIRST DATE and it usually makes me very angry and I just tell them off and leave and block on everything 😂 This hook-up culture really bothers me and lately I’ve been wondering if I’m just Ace, because I don’t experience this sexual attraction AT ALL - not even on 3rd, 4th date and so on.
But I am conflicted because - as you guys mentioned in your comments - I can only begin to like someone romantically if we’ve been friends for a little while and I know their personality. That makes me feel safe.
Also FINALLY someone put what I’ve been feeling into words - I find it extremely attractive when someone has a particular ~aesthetic~ about them, like they know what looks good on them and flattering colours and do it. I love it when they put effort into their clothes and I also like people based on clothes.
I also relate to not knowing what a particular face and body appearance for a partner should be. I guess I’m lucky in that regard because I’ve been in love with Marilyn Manson since I was 12. 😊😅🎉
But I know not everyone can be Marilyn Manson but the man himself, so I just kinda like that Metalhead aesthetic, also goth and vampire-like, i guess. Maybe also - tall guy who likes to wear dark colours. 😆
I feel so validated by this thread, thank you guys! ❤
My husband, Ace like me, was the only guy to look past my big front teeth and actually commented on my smile being pretty and the first thing he saw on me in comparison to every guy before him hitting on me for my body and/or sex. We've hit 16 years of marriage now, both of us falling in love with each other's personalities and finding our outsides as pretty as the inside despite people having bullied us for being ugly. It's crazy how much looks matter to people. I feel for people in the dating scene because I've seen so many people get dumped after accidents like being burnt in a fire and stuff all because "they're no longer handsome like before" and I find that horrible yet others find it "ok because it's their preference"; like, they don't even understand how it could be viewed as horrid/wrong to leave someone after something like that.
Asexuality is a spectrum, and people on said spectrum can get horny. In my case, I'm attracted to other people and the idea of romantic/sexual situations, but am not attracted to romantic/sexual situations involving me. Not for self esteem reasons or anything, I am just quite literally not attracted to the idea of me in a relationship. I used to be repulsed by sex outright, but in my case it was that part of puberty not hitting until I was 16. However, I never was attracted to the idea of doing the acts myself even if I was into the idea of them. I don't think I'll ever want to be in a relationship with anyone, but I can get extremely into hypotheticals involving fictional characters as I'm not part of the equation.
Still infuriates me when my parents say that "I'll come around" with marriage and kids when I mention that I don't want any kind of relationship. They're pretty chill overall on LGBT stuff now, like my mom is openly against any anti-trans bill that gets proposed in the state(Said state is Ohio, there's a lot, sadly.), but they still do the "coming around" rhetoric.
2:45 - No. Do not enjoy the chili in this manner. That's how burns in inconvinient places happen.
My two best friends from college are bisexual and asexual. Not only did my conservative Christian mother believe we were in this lesbian thrupple but now they're a couple and have been together happily for over 8 years now.
40:36 - I actually would love to see a character that is an asexual bard that just seduce people, and then proceeds to friendzone them in order to deal massive amounts of EMOTIONAL DAMAGE! XD
Cue Stephen He video
lol I might actually try that with my current Bard in D&D. sounds so funny. Edit. I posted it to my D&D group and they thought it was pretty funny. Just have to hear if my DM can let my bard do emotional dmg lol
So a toxic twitter/instagram/tinder person is who you want to make as a character.
@@LGBTQLegendNnoooooOo! XD
It becomes bad when we make it realll T-T
@@malcerne7496 Most fantasy things in reality would be horrendous. Lol.
A fun bad guy who's canonically ace is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. "There is no naughty attraction. Only angy!" (13:09) As far as I can tell, that fits him to a T.
He was also recently confirmed as aromantic as well in January!! Big aroace win
Rosie literally called Alastor an "Ace in the hole".
As an asexual, having Alastor as ace representation is awesome. Yes he's a cannibal and irredeemable demon, but gosh daring he's cool as hell-
26:17 My boyfriend and I had this discussion before. I drool over muscular guys and pretty girls all the time, but in the sense of "omg they're so nice to look at". He's the same way. He likes to look at people and admire the work they put into themselves, but he doesn't see it as anything sexually attractive.
meanwhile i just restart like windows vista if i see a person with either thicc thighs or muscular abs (or both, i swing both ways)
@@heavygaming1167 just have to ask, both ways as in both thighs and abs or, as in both male / female, or like? Just curious, and I know it has nothing to do with me so feel free to not answer if you don't want to. I'd rather ask and get denied than run around curious about things constantly. (mostly curious because like they're not mutually exclusive and it's fun to imagine if just one of those traits made your operative system restart, what then both traits on one person would do to you.)
"The person who said that is probably a demi egg" I didn't expect to be called out today lmao. I used to think demisexuality was weird because it just seemed normal to not be sexually attracted to someone till you're close then hey, that's just because I'm demi!
I still refuse to believe most people aren’t actually on the ace spectrum
Demi here too! Remember when friends would talk about celebrity and cartoon crushes and you never had them? Or when you only thought your close crushes were cute?
I still don't get it! How?? What do you mean you wanna do your crush?? You don't know them! Wtfff. (doesn't matter if celebrity crush, fictional crush or crush on another classmate)
Wait that’s not normal? What?!
Yeah, for a lot of us we probably never think of it as weird since that’s what we experience
awhile ago you wanted to read a book where the dragon and the princess are friends, well i found a book like that. it is below yore reading level, but the series is called 'the enchanted forest chronicles. the first book is called 'dealing with dragons' and i think you would enjoy it even though its for teens. so the plot is a princess is bored of being a princess spo she goes and is like "hey yore a dragon, mind if i'm your princess?" and the dragons like "yasssss"
A friend of mine once said he couldn't say "no" to women offering sex. I said he absolutely could say "no", and asked if he needed an intervention because he was engaged at the time. When I pushed a bit for an answer, he kind of blew off the question, but I hope he understood that I would have run interference and helped him get out if he wanted it.
Where's my fellow Ace people?
1:02 wait, WHAT!? Are you serious?
Hello 👋😊
Morning
2:05 Right!
2:32 💀
3:14 Bruh.
"I just stack donuts on it" 😄 That's so funny!
16:06 Lol! 😄
Yeah, I had the same reaction when I took a media studies course one time.
Here 💜
I have a friend who always says that "Being demi is just normal!" And I have tried to explain to her OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN that THEY ARE JUST DEMI. It drives me insane.
I mean hey, it is normal. Just as it's normal to be anything else.
"So is being hard of hearing and wearing a machine day in and day out! Wait it's not normal because you're the opposite? But I've done it all my life! You're all abnormal!!" XP
Honestly I felt this way for SO long before I finally was willing to entertain the fact that I am demi. For me it was like a cognitive dissonance because I have like done SW and been in adult performances and so I assumed that I must be allosexual, and then I found the definition of demi and tried to reconcile it like your friend, "I'm not demi, this is just how all allosexuals are, demi must be something different that I don't understand".
I'm not sure it was totally conscious it just takes a while for your brain to make it make sense when a core belief about yourself is challenged.
Every single friend I've ever had has been demi so I'm a little doubtful that that's not just as common as not being demi. If demi is on the asexual spectrum I'm pretty sure like at least 50% of people are on the ace spectrum, at least
God, every time I explain it to anyone in or out of the community, I am always met with that. "That's a long winded way to say you're like every other straight person on the planet" (quote from my mother and close friend several years later, few differences between them) mfer-- NO! THE POINT IS THAT I AM ACE UNTIL I LOVE SOMEONE LIKE A BEST FRIEND! WHERES THE MISCOMMUNICATION?!
9:55 we got Reyna too. From the Heroes of Olympus series. Yes, she is
I love Rick Riordan's representation!!! he's amazing ♡
@@denkisupremacy YEEES HE IS!!!
My husband had some bad things happen to him for years when he was a child by a family friend. Growing up, he was never interested or cared for things like sex and girls overall because of his trauma, but felt he had to because of social pressures even by his own mom. He had a few partners before we got together which made him feel uncomfortable and gross with sex as a whole because he felt abandoned and ignored with his needs/wants. It took time, but he is a lot more comfortable with intercourse and the vulnerability that comes with it now. I never understood how people cannot fathom others not having interest or care about sex, just because so many others make it a big part of their lives and personality.
The town of Dildo in Newfoundland, Canada kept getting the town sign stolen. Year after year. Month after month. Their solution to fund all the replacement signs and fund other stuff was to open a tourist shop that had a variety of different Town of Dildo road signs for sale legally. Sign theft did in fact decrease afterwards.
Prohibition logic also apparently applies to signs
On a similar note, a village in Austria respelled their name to "Fugging" because English-speaking tourists were stealing their signs and sometimes performing lewd acts. I don't know if YT allows the old spelling in a comment.
How did they not know who was stealing the sign? Doesn't Newfoundland have a population of like 30 people.
Same with a few funny German signs.
Also, the town of Wacken (where the metal open air happens, same name) started to just weld their sign onto the post at some point rather than screwing on a new one
@@LGBTQLegend The problem isn't with the amount of people, it's with the amount of land. There is so much wilderness that you can drive for hours on the highway without seeing anything but trees, mountains, maybe the coastline, and the road. It's a lot of woods with no real surveillance, especially in coastal areas, so all it really takes is to know when people aren't around, drive out to the sign with some tools and a buddy to hold the sign, and get to work. You could then drive off away from the town and basically not be found until someone notices the sign either in your possession, or notices the sign is missing and noticed you drove in that direction only to return acting suspiciously. Plus there is a lot of areas with no cellphone service at all, so unless you're dumb enough to leave a GPS on you, no one would question why you and your buddy couldn't be located for a few hours.
As for corrective R, I always heard of it for forced heterosexuality but when I learned about it for Ace cinnamon rolls, it broke my heart. Especially how often it is done by partners in relationships or 'friends' clearly not interested in being friends.
Unfortunately, sexual violence is a universal experience across the sexuality spectrum from Ace to hetero. I hate that they all have that in common.
Yep. It's never happened to me, but I've been "offered" corrective R, and been told my partner should just to it to me.
I'm a straight male, but if a woman gets in the way of me making money by trying to "pay with their body" or similiar shit, my attraction would instantly go into negatives.
As an ace person (I don’t feel the need to have sex, I’m not sex-repulsed), I love the ace up your sleeve joke
I was reading Loveless a couple of months ago and 17:50 reminded me of a scene from it. One of the protagonist’s friends tells her “How can you be aromantic when you’ve not even dated anyone before?”
The protagonist responds by telling her that that’s the same as asking her “how can you be a lesbian if you’ve never even dated men”
Pretty good counterargument I think
Also 20:37 Saiki is peak aroace rep, love that he’s in the video
OMG I LOVE LOVELESS
@saragoodman1020 I absolutely read your name as Saul Goodman for 5 seconds and thought "woah... Saul Goodman loves Loveless... so cool 😍"
@@squidpile LMFAO 🤣🤣 that once happened when I commented on a livestream they read my name out loud as saul Goodman
The only problem with it is that it doesn't work on people who HAVE dated multiple genders :(
It made me really happy to see how much Clicky actually understands Asexuality and could even personally relate to a few of the concepts. It’s a really nice change from what we usually deal with. :)
Ngl I was confused about him for the entirety of this video
43:20 i have a similar wordplay joke. "Im ace and apathetic, i dont give a fuck" 😂
As a Demi person I have never understood love/attraction that's purely physical it makes zero sense to me
A few years ago I backed a Kickstarter called Mini Minority Monsters which created a comic to help explain the lgbtqia in terms of monsters and they had an asexual succubus as one of the monsters.
Sounds interesting
I have an OC who’s an asexual succubus who feeds on fear instead of lust by giving people sleep paralysis instead of wet dreams.
@@thepip3599 Not to deride your character or anything, but wouldn't that just be an alb?
@@tartarustrommler5454 In my world there are lots of different kinds of creatures who can feed on fear through sleep paralysis. Some of them have to, and some of them are able to but can feed on other stuff instead.
I imagine alps (I’m assuming that you’re talking about those and alb is an alternate way to spell it) to be a type of fairy, whereas I imagine succubi/incubi to be a type of demon. Alps can be easily distinguished from them because they always wear hats. It mentions them wearing hats in their Wikipedia article and I thought that was goofy and felt like fairy behaviour. I admittedly haven’t put much thought into alps
@@someonessecondaltaccount6932 I looked it up and they are selling it on etsy along with the keychains from the Kickstarter shop name TabKimpton. I am also thinking about getting a new keychain as the one I got from the Kickstarter is becoming very worn and I am worried about it breaking.
Listening to this while I work and having to explain why i burst out laughing at the "asexuals are not fucking around" line.
Had a gay creator come up during my Facebook reels scrolling. A couple of his videos later, and he's addressing something or other and straight up says "the A in LGBTQIA stands for Ally" and I have never felt more erased. Plenty of fellow ace people were in the comments of that video correcting him, but man is it invalidating knowing that there are both straight and LGBT people who think the A is for ally, not Ace.
I don't mind it standing for Ally - IF people also acknowledge that is also and primarily stands for Ace, Aro, Agender. That usually isn't the case, like you said it's usually used a weapon for erasure.
8:20 Yeah, my ex was like this. "You talked to another man and said that you hope he has a nice day! That means you're cheating!" I was a cashier at Wal-Mart and just doing my job!