The Affair of the Poisons • Puppet History

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  • čas přidán 8. 04. 2021
  • France is at it again.
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    GET PUPPET HISTORY MERCH:
    www.gianthugs.com/collections...
    Watcher. A network from Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara, and Shane Madej.
    Social:
    / wearewatcher
    / wearewatcher
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    Business Inquiries:
    hello@watcherentertainment.com
    Created and hosted by Shane Madej
    Featuring: Ryan Bergara, Garrick Bernard
    Research: Kari Koeppel
    Writer: Garrett Werner
    Editor: Stephen Castro
    Camera Operator/Sound Mixer: Matt Real
    Motion Graphics Animators: Mike Fox, Julia Capuano
    Graphic Artist: Crystal Cheng
    Additional Music By: Pat Volker
    Additional Voice Acting: Josh Richardson
    Production Coordinator: Brittney Lee
    Creative Director of Post Production: Anthony Frederick
    Head of Development: Katie LeBlanc
    Production Manager: Nicole Beaudoin
    Executive Producers: Steven Lim, Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara, Katie LeBlanc
    Music Provided by Audio Network
    SFX by Audioblocks
    Logo Designed by Jennet Liaw
    Logo Sound Design by Yuta Endo (@yuuutaendo)
    Image Credits:
    (Lmbuga) Luis miguel Bugallo Sánchez, L'Hiver (Winter) by Girardon, Palace of Versailles.. CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
    A courtroom scene with a judge, a pregnant woman, a guilty looking man and an angry wife. Engraving by T. Cook after W. Hogarth., CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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Komentáře • 3K

  • @bellebourke5758
    @bellebourke5758 Před 3 lety +5509

    "Watcher Entertainment does not approve of the Professor's vaping habit and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat." 😂😂

  • @joeybugpockets
    @joeybugpockets Před 3 lety +5954

    i’m always impressed with the amount of fear and emotion you can see in the professor's eyes considering his expression never actually changes

    • @compulsiverambler1352
      @compulsiverambler1352 Před 3 lety +80

      Probably the Kuleshov effect.

    • @thebestpilot7
      @thebestpilot7 Před 3 lety +180

      @@compulsiverambler1352 nah it was the powerful theatrical enchantment of the genie

    • @MlleFeralMinette
      @MlleFeralMinette Před 3 lety +19

      All about the angles ;)

    • @Emmysn0w
      @Emmysn0w Před 10 měsíci +8

      The power of voice acting

    • @wolfiemuse
      @wolfiemuse Před 9 měsíci +10

      It’s probably a combination of all these things listed in the comments haha

  • @gracelien5656
    @gracelien5656 Před 3 lety +3925

    “Papa I want a jellybean” was the cutest n saddest shit at the same time 🤣😭

  • @drewa1964
    @drewa1964 Před 3 lety +4935

    What people think Puppet History is: A guy messing around with puppets and telling crazy stories about history.
    What it feels like: A cursed immortal puppet overseeing a game show with hopes of finding his lost family again.

  • @BeeBee-ho9ic
    @BeeBee-ho9ic Před 3 lety +5386

    My favourite part is always when Ryan and the Professor quietly threaten each other while the guest is off getting their jellybeans

    • @bettyreads222
      @bettyreads222 Před 3 lety +224

      'Little blue bitch' had me cackling! & the hatred I perceive in the Professor's face even though it doesn't change haha

    • @BeeBee-ho9ic
      @BeeBee-ho9ic Před 3 lety +30

      @@bettyreads222 100% agreed lmao

    • @classyhomo682
      @classyhomo682 Před 2 lety +22

      I would love if there was a extremely deep backstory to professor

  • @heatherkreucher9249
    @heatherkreucher9249 Před 3 lety +3399

    I love how he totally trusted the jelly beans after a WHOLE SHOW about poisoning....

  • @EthalaRide
    @EthalaRide Před 3 lety +3336

    I love how some Professor/Genie lore was planned and written into one of the question segments, like some sort of mind-blow moment,
    _but that freaking theory of _*_the professor being a human who just keeps eating magic jellybeans to maintain a puppet form_* was just shot out there in the beginning and now It's near impossible to forget.

    • @besthobbit
      @besthobbit Před 2 lety +142

      The subplot of this show is amazing.

    • @cameroncota9844
      @cameroncota9844 Před 2 lety +99

      "Papa, I want a jellybeeeaaan"

    • @sincelery5389
      @sincelery5389 Před 2 lety +9

      Also the fact that his diet consists of spiders and dolphin meat because he’s a creep

    • @KlaxontheImpailr
      @KlaxontheImpailr Před 5 měsíci +3

      Does the professor eat normal jelly beans and poop out magic ones, or does he eat the same ones over and over until they become magic?

  • @foxyjambread3826
    @foxyjambread3826 Před 3 lety +1714

    If mugs with 'Slaughter Water' printed on them aren't added to the merch store at some point I'm gonna be severely disappointed.

    • @kanemary56
      @kanemary56 Před 2 lety +8

      Agreed

    • @jasonlong8754
      @jasonlong8754 Před 2 lety +31

      I'd buy that shit. Mugs, bottles, glasses that say "SLAUGHTER WATER" and a skull and cross bones.

    • @jeremiahgabriel5709
      @jeremiahgabriel5709 Před 2 lety +18

      10/10 would buy slaughter water merch

    • @t-rexcellentreviews1663
      @t-rexcellentreviews1663 Před rokem +7

      @@jasonlong8754 with the Bye Bye Brothers on it as well.

    • @dorcat2867
      @dorcat2867 Před 7 měsíci

      It sounds like a drink you can get at Sonics, they have Ocean Water, why can’t they make Slaughter Water too?

  • @haleyr7937
    @haleyr7937 Před 3 lety +2875

    I like to think that Ryan is forced to take this course with the Professor so he can get his final credits to graduate from Puppet University and the Professor only has contempt for him

    • @katiejane1337
      @katiejane1337 Před 3 lety +55

      That scenario hits way to close to home omg 😂

    • @anthonybenitez3958
      @anthonybenitez3958 Před 3 lety +51

      Or he’s in some form of hell and cursed to be with Shane doing a stupid puppet show for all eternity

    • @haleyr7937
      @haleyr7937 Před 3 lety +13

      Oh my god I love this version

    • @crocsqueen1474
      @crocsqueen1474 Před 3 lety +37

      I like to think that winning a round would mean him graduating, but the professor won't allow it bc then he would leave

    • @recoil53
      @recoil53 Před 3 lety +8

      @@anthonybenitez3958 Ryan's version of being caught in a kharmic cycle.

  • @moderatelyerika05
    @moderatelyerika05 Před 3 lety +1794

    The Professor saying that “he doesn’t know Shane” as if they’re not flatmates 🙄

  • @CaliVMK
    @CaliVMK Před 3 lety +1506

    The idea that the Professor is just a human who keeps eating jellybeans is the in my personal opinion the most shocking reveal of the series yet.

    • @ontxtteredwxngs
      @ontxtteredwxngs Před 2 lety +25

      fr and it happened in the first few minutes of the episode, i'm shooketh

    • @dori_casper
      @dori_casper Před 2 lety +18

      it weirdly makes me uncomfortable

  • @MrJjz123
    @MrJjz123 Před 3 lety +2169

    can we appreciate how Shane syncs his laughs with the professor's mouth movements

    • @tdsims1963
      @tdsims1963 Před 3 lety +153

      I've watched how closely he times the movements to the dialogue. He's quite talented.

    • @richardtherichard26
      @richardtherichard26 Před 2 lety +26

      It’s called puppeteering and is kind of the entire point of a puppet show…

    • @vocalvortexstudios2058
      @vocalvortexstudios2058 Před 2 lety +118

      @@richardtherichard26 i think they mean that they appreciate he takes the time to puppeteer spur-of-the-moment, sudden unexpected laughter

  • @insertcreativenamehere7584
    @insertcreativenamehere7584 Před 3 lety +8423

    It just hit me that I’m now thinking of Shane and the Professor as different people. I literally forgot that this is Shane’s show

    • @kaged1productions
      @kaged1productions Před 3 lety +690

      It's funny, because for about half a second I wondered why Shane had never been a guest...😂

    • @hotpinkcrayolas
      @hotpinkcrayolas Před 3 lety +190

      What do you mean? They are different people... x

    • @geared4war
      @geared4war Před 3 lety +223

      Who is this "shame" guy?

    • @anthonybenitez3958
      @anthonybenitez3958 Před 3 lety +59

      @@geared4war yea I’m just as confused as you

    • @eoinplunkett3093
      @eoinplunkett3093 Před 3 lety +113

      Every co founder has been on the show, Ryan and Steven, but why hasn’t Shane been a contestant

  • @Phantom_Hivemind
    @Phantom_Hivemind Před 3 lety +2667

    Slaughter water is the BEST alternate name for poison I have EVER heard.

  • @Bardic_Knowledge
    @Bardic_Knowledge Před 2 lety +1094

    Fun fact: King's Mistress was an official position in the French court for some time. Reportedly, many King's Mistresses and Queens actually got along well.
    One of these King's Mistresses was Madame de Pompadour.

    • @jenniferm7695
      @jenniferm7695 Před 2 lety

      Fun fact she was also shacking up with the 11rh doctor

    • @astridhannestad8323
      @astridhannestad8323 Před 2 lety +206

      Kings of other countries started having official mistresses, because the french court was a serious trendsetter. One story is that a king appointed a mistress, showered her with lavish gifts, and proceeded to never touch her because he was fiercely devoted to his queen

    • @vocalvortexstudios2058
      @vocalvortexstudios2058 Před 2 lety +89

      @@astridhannestad8323 sounds like a sweet gig

    • @amberparks-newlove6378
      @amberparks-newlove6378 Před rokem +103

      I'm not entirely surprised the Queen and the Mistresses got along well. Marriages weren't usually about love and more about power moves. Really Mistresses could relate more than anyone else

    • @emilyblack7342
      @emilyblack7342 Před 3 měsíci +10

      And fun fact about Madame de Pompadour: She was stupid powerful for a woman in politics at the time. Some have said that she was practically a prime minister and was in charge of the King’s schedule. Just to emphasize that, she decided who got to see the head of state and who did not, along with deciding who to promote and who to demote in the government.

  • @quinnkelly8601
    @quinnkelly8601 Před 2 lety +917

    I love how Shane just seems have gotten really into puppeteering and making puppets and everyone just went with it no questions asked

    • @ellisbuker6191
      @ellisbuker6191 Před rokem +76

      He actually mentioned in an episode of unsolved that he loves puppets, before this show even started, so I assume his friends just know that it’s one of his interests anyway!

  • @keelyneumann3814
    @keelyneumann3814 Před 3 lety +1804

    "Watcher Entertainment does not approve of the professors vaping habit and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat."
    I love it! 😂

  • @marsvilla7128
    @marsvilla7128 Před 3 lety +2586

    the professor deserves a raise for also having the job of making me smile each week

  • @justdecaffeinated
    @justdecaffeinated Před 3 lety +634

    garrick: i'm gonna check all of my food from now on
    also garrick: eats the jelly beans as soon as he got them

    • @sabrinaspurzem1672
      @sabrinaspurzem1672 Před rokem +2

      Conclusion: He's not really effective at it but somehow hasn't died yet. Must be the good will of the people. Certainly not his poison probing abilities XD

  • @morganeb_5300
    @morganeb_5300 Před 3 lety +715

    the professor says "gaudin de sainte croix" like the french uncle that smokes 2 packs a day, has never had a meal without meat and will make the cheese go down with 3 glasses of cheap red wine. it's both terrifying yet impressive.

  • @joanne01jt
    @joanne01jt Před 3 lety +4041

    Slowed down to read the super fast disclaimer: "Watcher entertainment does not approve of the professor's vaping habits and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat" I'm dead.

    • @NoNo-fi3tc
      @NoNo-fi3tc Před 3 lety +195

      So are the spiders and dolphins lol

    • @deprofundis3293
      @deprofundis3293 Před 3 lety +21

      Lol! Can we get a time stamp for replay value??

    • @reemahmed6935
      @reemahmed6935 Před 3 lety +35

      @@deprofundis3293 it's at about 14:42

    • @reemahmed6935
      @reemahmed6935 Před 3 lety +52

      God, the sound of slowed down laughter in the background is giving me chills lmaoo

    • @CalvinKool-Aid
      @CalvinKool-Aid Před 2 lety +26

      I know the spiders but when was it suggested he ate dolphin?

  • @ishouldprobablybeasleeprn495
    @ishouldprobablybeasleeprn495 Před 3 lety +1632

    Hot Take: Ryan is the time traveling genie reincarnated who is torturing the professor by pissing him off in his college courses

    • @justarandomchaneldontmindm9098
      @justarandomchaneldontmindm9098 Před 3 lety +71

      I'm on board with this take 😂 this class is the professor's personal hell. He is doomed to teach ungrateful students for all eternity

    • @squidward9155
      @squidward9155 Před 3 lety +14

      Hold on you’re onto something

    • @kiwigaming09
      @kiwigaming09 Před 2 lety +9

      maybe the professor knows it and thats why he makes ryan lose all the time

  • @darialappi5762
    @darialappi5762 Před 3 lety +522

    I was kinda hoping they'd talk about Guilia Tofana. She murdered at least six hundred men (who were abusive towards their wives) between 1633 to 1651 with her own poison called Aqua Tofana.
    (I did a 15-page report on her and other female serial killers so I wanna see more videos on her!)

  • @lexiarie6545
    @lexiarie6545 Před rokem +179

    Is nobody going to mention how Ryan didn't know Bastille was a real thing despite it being one of France's biggest national holidays

  • @ElaineMokk
    @ElaineMokk Před 3 lety +16431

    i hope ryan will atleast get the perfect attendance award.

  • @taylorkichu4683
    @taylorkichu4683 Před 3 lety +11528

    We need an episode where the professor is "sick" so we have a shitty substitute. Then have shane as a guest. Then it will be the one time Ryan wins.

    • @annehuntress896
      @annehuntress896 Před 3 lety +677

      Keith Habersberger would be a great substitute.

    • @johannadagny6237
      @johannadagny6237 Před 3 lety +259

      I genuinely want this as an episode

    • @ghostsprobably
      @ghostsprobably Před 3 lety +407

      the sub should absolutely be kate

    • @Kelly-uw1xr
      @Kelly-uw1xr Před 3 lety +12

      I would love it

    • @caraf8727
      @caraf8727 Před 3 lety +37

      How is this not getting more likes?! This is a great idea

  • @mirrandalynn484
    @mirrandalynn484 Před 3 lety +468

    I NEED more of the Professor’s tragic backstory. Was that him as a child? Was it his son? His Nephew? His grandson?

    • @alexlee3261
      @alexlee3261 Před 3 lety +40

      I thought it was his son. But now I'm thinking it was him as a child 😱 I need more Professor lore!!

  • @aubreyjordan8308
    @aubreyjordan8308 Před 3 lety +245

    It’s just so funny to me to imagine Shane squishing himself underneath this makeshift stage and screaming in character 😂

  • @Whymust898
    @Whymust898 Před 3 lety +2979

    last season professor backstory: he was cursed by a genie! how whimsical!
    this season professor backstory: he lost his family horribly somehow and he represses the memory but maintains a lingering connection to them through the jellybeans

    • @00muinamir
      @00muinamir Před 3 lety +130

      This tracks with the Professor being a Timelord.

    • @oliviagriffith3626
      @oliviagriffith3626 Před 3 lety +69

      The Professor lore continues to get more and more in-depth, and I'm living for it.

    • @hayliew611
      @hayliew611 Před 3 lety +11

      Maybe the son got turned into a puppet and died

    • @oliviagriffith3626
      @oliviagriffith3626 Před 3 lety +102

      @@hayliew611 My personal (wildly specific) headcanon is that the Professor and his son were an archaeology duo and the Professor's boy "stole" a genie's treasured jellybeans. Now he's being held captive by said genie in one of the many time-periods the Professor has to visit (hence where he gets all this knowledge for the show) to try and rescue him. Of course, genies are wily little fuckers, so that's obviously easier said than done.

    • @dawakat08
      @dawakat08 Před 3 lety +21

      Professor McNasty's life is so full of mystery still ugh... lol

  • @theod6267
    @theod6267 Před 3 lety +573

    the "papa! I want a jellybean!" moment had me dying

    • @an_earth_angel
      @an_earth_angel Před 3 lety +7

      Is that what he said?? Poor Professor!

    • @sunsun5005
      @sunsun5005 Před 3 lety +9

      you weren’t the only one dying

    • @backwardglances
      @backwardglances Před 3 lety +10

      I must know more. Was it the professor? Was it a lost child of his? Who knows...

    • @theod6267
      @theod6267 Před 3 lety +14

      @@backwardglances we need more puppet lore

  • @ArcherOwl
    @ArcherOwl Před 2 lety +196

    After the season 4 finale, I thought it would be fun to go back through the other videos and find out the real scores in each to see if Ryan actually won any. This will be focused on the points won during the questions only, not the extra points the professor gives out willy-nilly.
    Actual Score: Ryan had 4 points and Garrick had 2. Another win for Ryan, he's been winning a lot of these latest ones.

  • @jimmorrisonsbelt2337
    @jimmorrisonsbelt2337 Před 3 lety +62

    The 'Papa, I want a jellybean' with the Professor having a Bruce Wayne-level PTSD flashback freakin killed me 😂😭

  • @acidstrawberries7667
    @acidstrawberries7667 Před 3 lety +798

    I’ll never get tired of the professor referring to himself as beloved lmao

  • @jaz1564
    @jaz1564 Před 3 lety +2907

    I love seeing Garrick on this show he is such a chill and smiley dude

    • @erikacoffey4872
      @erikacoffey4872 Před 3 lety +28

      Same!!! He’s really amazing to listen to in guilty pleasures (a podcast) if you, like me, need more Garrick in your life

    • @leaharmbruster6047
      @leaharmbruster6047 Před 3 lety +33

      Him and Kate are a must return on this show!

    • @ONKVP
      @ONKVP Před 3 lety +15

      Ryan clearly enjoys being around him too

    • @yellowcard360
      @yellowcard360 Před 3 lety +12

      Yeah! Is it wrong to say I like the shape of his upper lip?

    • @erikacoffey4872
      @erikacoffey4872 Před 3 lety +22

      @@yellowcard360 LOL. He is a very handsome man all around, I find!

  • @arocknrolldream
    @arocknrolldream Před rokem +42

    “I can’t keep track of all these names” and then literally every woman in this story is named Marie

  • @morganrichardson8859
    @morganrichardson8859 Před 3 lety +325

    Shane is such a talented puppeteer. Season 3 and I'm still not over it. He has so many skills!

  • @ElaineMokk
    @ElaineMokk Před 3 lety +4188

    OMG NOOOOOO "PAPA I WANT A JELLYBEAN!" PROFESSOR'S FLASHBACK FACEEEE. iwanna hug him T_T

    • @thyauthor4749
      @thyauthor4749 Před 3 lety +11

      timestamp?

    • @bluechupathingy
      @bluechupathingy Před 3 lety +26

      @@thyauthor4749 7:35

    • @aldenchavez3750
      @aldenchavez3750 Před 3 lety +9

      I was gonna comment the same!

    • @uwuzi
      @uwuzi Před 3 lety +92

      i wonder if the professor is papa or the voice who wanted the jellybean

    • @satarupagingerkolay
      @satarupagingerkolay Před 3 lety +57

      @@uwuzi That made it so much darker. Now I want a whole story about this and that too the sound of the one who wanted a jellybean sounds like the crabs, Mari and Gina from the Hotdaga.

  • @marmarmar615
    @marmarmar615 Před 3 lety +1406

    I personally love the lore that the professor is just a human who keeps eating magic jelly beans so that he can stay a puppet

    • @Fundipped13
      @Fundipped13 Před 3 lety +43

      I'm also concerned what his human form would look like?! 🤣

    • @jasperj.d.g.4147
      @jasperj.d.g.4147 Před 3 lety +46

      @@Fundipped13 he's ancient and Blue, I doubt he would look very good

    • @Fundipped13
      @Fundipped13 Před 3 lety +24

      @@jasperj.d.g.4147 I'd be horrified for sure, but I also know the internet has rules... Can't wait for the fanart 😂

    • @jasperj.d.g.4147
      @jasperj.d.g.4147 Před 3 lety +8

      @@Fundipped13 eh, after BU the monster fuckers make up a big part of the watcher viewers. He'll get the rule treatment for sure.

    • @whychance9180
      @whychance9180 Před 3 lety +16

      Well apparently he is related to the blue man group

  • @TheMewtata
    @TheMewtata Před 2 lety +389

    I’m sure no one was ever wrongly convicted in this investigation. I’m sure everyone was super truthful, and all of the confessions extracted by torture were totally legit.

    • @caitlinb35
      @caitlinb35 Před 10 měsíci +13

      yeah it's giving european witch trials vibes... forced confessions, false accusations and panic through brutal torture

    • @LittleRedWhine
      @LittleRedWhine Před 4 měsíci +3

      Yeah, I wish he acknowledged that. The king’s mistress was also very obviously being targeted here in a character assassination.

  • @ambertregoning3821
    @ambertregoning3821 Před 3 lety +337

    *"Watcher entertainment does not approve of the professor's vaping habit and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat"*
    -the disclaimer, in case anyone missed it

  • @11jokerchen11
    @11jokerchen11 Před 3 lety +2094

    "Wait, Bastille is actually a word besides being a shitty band?" I say this with all the love I have in my heart: Ryan is a real life himbo and it's currently the biggest source of joy in my life

    • @sharmbanu9862
      @sharmbanu9862 Před 3 lety +132

      i stand by this wholeheartedly. i never thought hearing someone call ryan a himbo would bring me so much joy

    • @emilybarclay8831
      @emilybarclay8831 Před 3 lety +250

      He’s like a small himbo, a himbette if you will. A himbito

    • @libbywilliams9969
      @libbywilliams9969 Před 3 lety +49

      This is why he never wins

    • @sharmbanu9862
      @sharmbanu9862 Před 3 lety +66

      @@emilybarclay8831 HIMBETTE 😭😭😭😭😭

    • @j.pnewcomer1069
      @j.pnewcomer1069 Před 3 lety +65

      I think Ryan's too much of a...brat to be a himbo

  • @ScottDavid7
    @ScottDavid7 Před 3 lety +907

    "Wait bastille is a real thing? not just the name of a shitty band?"
    oh so we're choosing violence are we

    • @leviathxns
      @leviathxns Před 3 lety +105

      I was personally attacked by ryan's bad opinion

    • @lize-marigrobler161
      @lize-marigrobler161 Před 3 lety +8

      @@leviathxns dude same

    • @ledoggo9797
      @ledoggo9797 Před 3 lety +7

      @@leviathxns Me too

    • @ScottDavid7
      @ScottDavid7 Před 3 lety +5

      @@leviathxns facts

    • @Shadowulf99
      @Shadowulf99 Před 3 lety +40

      Ryan, maybe your bad takes on such a great band are why the Professor won't let you win.

  • @AkumakoCross
    @AkumakoCross Před 2 lety +111

    Given that Louis forbade their children from mourning Madame de Montespan, I don't think he was super stoked on the whole "ladyfriend trying to poison him" thing.

  • @unknowncreature-0069
    @unknowncreature-0069 Před 3 lety +74

    0:58 lol the professor isn't actually being controlled by anybody, shane just eats a jellybean and turns into the professor before they start filming

  • @dddakotarose
    @dddakotarose Před 3 lety +633

    I feel like Garrick offhandedly mentioned to Shane that he had a puppet of himself and Shane went, "you son of a bitch, you've done it! your puppet must be featured!!" which is why no one else has been turned into a puppet by the jelly beans simply because they don't have their own puppets and Shane wouldn't want to make them.

    • @MovieEnvy
      @MovieEnvy Před 3 lety +9

      The other jelly beans obvi were not magical, that’s the only reason!

  • @kaigaron9566
    @kaigaron9566 Před 3 lety +1256

    Class: why do you know so many random facts
    Me: *sweats in puppet history*

    • @Phantom_Hivemind
      @Phantom_Hivemind Před 3 lety +15

      Me, but change "puppet history" into "internet", and we good

    • @jensine3683
      @jensine3683 Před 3 lety +30

      Dude, the other day my teacher brought up the Donner Party and everyone was wondering why I knew so much about this cannibalism-caravan. Saying “oh, I learned it from a blue puppet with a satchel full of jelly beans” is a tad odd.

    • @Phantom_Hivemind
      @Phantom_Hivemind Před 3 lety +14

      @@jensine3683 mood. I wonder how many people will think I'm weird when it comes time to talk about history. Everyone will ask, "why do you know about a golden stool?" "Why do you know about a bunch of people who ate each other?" "How do you know about a French royal member basically playing russian roulette with poison on sick people?"

  • @tabookozube6766
    @tabookozube6766 Před 2 lety +72

    Between the Professor taking a vape break, and the Beastie Boys inspired song at the end, this is my favorite episode so far.

  • @annmarietorres8578
    @annmarietorres8578 Před 3 lety +99

    "C-can I have a point?
    ...
    ...
    ...
    "No."
    I literally cried laughing.

  • @blue_champignon5738
    @blue_champignon5738 Před 3 lety +985

    Ryan never winning is just the professor protecting him from cursed jelly beans

    • @hidden-behind-wisteria2701
      @hidden-behind-wisteria2701 Před 3 lety +68

      I saw someone comment that since the winner is always replaced, maybe the professor keeps making Ryan lose just so he'll keep coming back

    • @VieSit
      @VieSit Před 3 lety +8

      @@hidden-behind-wisteria2701 Sounds like the beginning of an angsty wattpad one-shot LOL :')

    • @CrazeeAdam
      @CrazeeAdam Před 3 lety +8

      lol. It was a tie too this time. It was 4 to 4. =/ lol

  • @danny6801
    @danny6801 Před 3 lety +292

    Why did nobody stop to appreciate the Professor's P play? "People peddling poisons and potions to the Parisienne public"? That deserves a chef's kiss.

    • @boobailey4509
      @boobailey4509 Před 3 lety +23

      can we not call it p play 😂

    • @squiishiie
      @squiishiie Před 3 lety +4

      pp play 🥵

    • @LovelyIKnowx
      @LovelyIKnowx Před 3 lety

      I literally paused it and commented to my dad that it was some awesome alliteration

    • @Tazzie1312
      @Tazzie1312 Před 3 lety +2

      Please never say p play again

    • @MovieEnvy
      @MovieEnvy Před 3 lety +2

      P play sounds like something the Professor does in his private time.

  • @garvitak90
    @garvitak90 Před 2 lety +85

    It's so amazing that on the exact same month(July, 1659) Giulia Tofana, creator of the poison of Aqua Tofana, too, was executed in Italy for helping noble women poison their husbands to get out of abusive marriages (presumably).

  • @EloiseRaeCullen
    @EloiseRaeCullen Před 2 lety +95

    "And now, to strangle you to death, bring out *The Dandy!* "
    I'm deceased now. That line ended me faster than any poison. I'm gone. Goodbye. 🤣

  • @lycanthology
    @lycanthology Před 3 lety +593

    Everyone talking about potential band names as if the most appropriate one for this whole episode isn’t My Chemical Romance

  • @EnbyAxolotlOfficial
    @EnbyAxolotlOfficial Před 3 lety +830

    Fun fact: The professor isn't Shane when he eats a bean, Shane Madej is actuay one of the Professors mistresses

  • @2gxssedyt294
    @2gxssedyt294 Před 2 lety +33

    "Papa I want a jelly bean" that voice had me dying of laughter

  • @shawnabasallo7515
    @shawnabasallo7515 Před 3 lety +86

    Every time the song portion begins I am blown away by how talented Shane is

  • @virgiltheghost
    @virgiltheghost Před 3 lety +701

    “The poisoned clothes plan never got carried out”
    *stares in EXTREMELY popular use of arsenic dye in clothing of the later centuries*

    • @vsratoslava
      @vsratoslava Před 3 lety +36

      And wallpaper:)

    • @liriodendronlasianthus
      @liriodendronlasianthus Před 3 lety +36

      Deadly emerald gowns lol

    • @ViVi-ev3rx
      @ViVi-ev3rx Před 3 lety +36

      ahh the reason we think of the color green when it comes to sickness

    • @gracephillips761
      @gracephillips761 Před 3 lety +2

      I think he meant never got carried out in that particular instance, not in history in general

  • @wanna_be_goth1030
    @wanna_be_goth1030 Před 3 lety +2222

    Am I the only one who really wants know the lore behind the professor? repressed family memories, encounters with genies and other things I really know how he got here and how his family is doing

    • @siiri8902
      @siiri8902 Před 3 lety +101

      All of this lore that's being teased is for sure gonna take several seasons to unfold and I'm very excited to see it!

    • @Ash-ru6bt
      @Ash-ru6bt Před 2 lety +78

      I think the reason the professor doesn’t let Ryan win is because he’s scared he may be turned into a puppet for eternity like him

    • @Lunch_Meat
      @Lunch_Meat Před 2 lety +18

      @@Ash-ru6bt I think Ryan is the genie

    • @rafansyed8420
      @rafansyed8420 Před 2 lety +11

      FILM THEORY WHERE YOU AT

    • @deathscore1548
      @deathscore1548 Před 2 lety +5

      Bro get MatPat on this

  • @greenapple9477
    @greenapple9477 Před 2 lety +90

    Death Chemist sounds like a RPG class, and Affair of the Poisons a title. Slaughter Water sounds like a skill or attack.

  • @AlwaysSomeone
    @AlwaysSomeone Před 2 lety +62

    "Do you think Brinvillier had girl power?"
    "Yes, of course!"
    "Do you think she effectively utilized that girl power by poisoining her patients, family, and rivals?"
    "I don't know about that..."

  • @JackHammer503
    @JackHammer503 Před 3 lety +259

    What we've learned about the Professor this episode:
    1) For sure has a bevy of mistresses (mistressi?)
    2) Has likely poisoned at least one member of his family
    3) Was possibly a former human but can't get enough of those sweet, sweet cursed puppet-jellybeans
    4) Vapes

  • @matrixdefector4344
    @matrixdefector4344 Před 3 lety +2352

    Sorry I think it's just so cute to imagine Shane playing the professor and putting on a puppet show for his friends. A history puppet show for adults. It's very cute.

    • @namemycactus
      @namemycactus Před 2 lety +26

      I was just thinking the same thing!!

    • @char_shine
      @char_shine Před 2 lety +58

      This comment really hit me as I watched ryan and garrick giggle as shane made the professor rip a fat cloud

  • @samwarren2850
    @samwarren2850 Před 2 lety +17

    ah, the annual "weird french shit" episode, we love to see it

  • @kamillelang3170
    @kamillelang3170 Před 2 lety +16

    Omg at the second Ryan asked the professor if he had a family, it immediately cut to a depressed medicine ad that starts with “I thought I was in control of my depression”. Not a bad response.

  • @ChernaOvce
    @ChernaOvce Před 3 lety +481

    "If you have a minor beef with someone consider maybe going out for hot dogs and talking it out. Don't poison."
    I wonder if this is a callback to those airport hot dogs that gave Shane food poisoning....

    • @an_earth_angel
      @an_earth_angel Před 3 lety +7

      Watcher secretly supports poisonings, DUN DUN DUUUUN

    • @sunsun5005
      @sunsun5005 Před 3 lety +2

      Deep cut

    • @gillyweedniharry
      @gillyweedniharry Před 3 lety +7

      Nah, it's probably just a throwback to the hotdogga saga

    • @johanvajse8410
      @johanvajse8410 Před 3 lety +1

      Ryan & Shane also went for hot dogs in Tourist Trapped
      plus Shane has mentioned his love for the 4th of July when he could eat a lot of hot dogs

  • @AmethystEyes
    @AmethystEyes Před 3 lety +1277

    Unofficial slogan for the show: “Ryan thanks for tryin’!”

  • @brooke6658
    @brooke6658 Před 2 lety +74

    Honestly this story would make a bomb Netflix show.

  • @VeegiDawn
    @VeegiDawn Před 3 lety +76

    Do you every just look at the professors legs and think, 'Huh ... yeah, no ... he's got no pants'? It never fails to shock me 😂

  • @noof5186
    @noof5186 Před 3 lety +486

    does ryan not remember talking about the bastille during the world's most expensive necklace episode? maybe if he paid more attention in class he'd finally be crowned history master...

    • @justalittleturtle5600
      @justalittleturtle5600 Před 3 lety +7

      I said something very similar when he didn’t remember the Bastille....

    • @ellarasei4404
      @ellarasei4404 Před 3 lety +4

      That episode was over a year ago so I don't blame him for forgetting

    • @blueblank8287
      @blueblank8287 Před rokem

      The Professor, With Barely Concealed Judgement: It’s a nOTORIOUS PRISON

  • @nataliejoritz
    @nataliejoritz Před 3 lety +540

    if the professor has mistresses, then they're either humans or other puppets, and frankly i don't know which one is worse

    • @kf10147
      @kf10147 Před 3 lety +68

      well we know one human who seems interested… shane better keep Sara away from that nasty blue creature

    • @frankensteinlives
      @frankensteinlives Před 3 lety +6

      You misspelled better

    • @kidedaionsymoti4036
      @kidedaionsymoti4036 Před 3 lety +6

      Anatomically correct dolls and medical props

    • @Squirreltasticqueen
      @Squirreltasticqueen Před 3 lety +1

      There's some d n d inspired muppet show going on with a big tiddy puppet so it works

    • @MissBee13
      @MissBee13 Před 3 lety +1

      Both.

  • @SquidandCatAdventures
    @SquidandCatAdventures Před 2 lety +63

    This is the first Puppet History video that I've watched, and I'm loving the idea that the puppet Professor teaches with his own puppets. Also, saw the video with Steven making his "slaughter water" cocktail before seeing this one, and it's just as satisfying getting the reference in reverse.

    • @Nowgivemeyourfries
      @Nowgivemeyourfries Před 2 lety +1

      Me exactly too!!!!! I just watched the TMS yesterday and now I’m watching this!
      This show is so funny, Shane is so talented.

  • @quackkedupfunnygirl
    @quackkedupfunnygirl Před 3 lety +31

    Not going to lie, I was hoping this was going to be about Aqua Tofana, but I’m still glad to be here

  • @CHESShireCat
    @CHESShireCat Před 3 lety +389

    I like how at the beginning of this show Ryan tried to argue with Shane but now he just has specific beef with the Professor.

  • @jackroberts2704
    @jackroberts2704 Před 3 lety +549

    The Professor: "I don't know who this Shane guy is, but he sounds handsome."

    • @persona8439
      @persona8439 Před 3 lety +16

      Its like batman from the lego movies.

  • @antoniawaich7877
    @antoniawaich7877 Před 2 lety +199

    Ryan: Bastille is actually a place?!
    Every European: Didn't you guys have history in school? French revolution? The storming of the Bastille?😂

    • @kelli3814
      @kelli3814 Před 2 lety +20

      Education here is SEVERELY lacking. The most we talked about the French Revolution when I was in school was when I read A Tale of Two Cities. I didn’t learn about the French Revolution or the storming of the Bastille until I was in college.

    • @tallybarnie5453
      @tallybarnie5453 Před 2 lety +13

      Depends on the school. We mostly learn American history and then maybe a “world” history class if you chose to

    • @ladyredl3210
      @ladyredl3210 Před 2 lety +9

      I'm an American, and I knew that. So I think it might be the place in America

    • @xxMpEGxx
      @xxMpEGxx Před 2 lety +14

      But I'm European and we didnt have American history in school aside from the middle eastern conflicts soooo...
      but calling Bastille a bad band and a bad name: shame on you Ryan :P (also its pronounced Basteeuh)

    • @tallybarnie5453
      @tallybarnie5453 Před 2 lety +6

      @@xxMpEGxx as an American we don’t even get taught about our Middle East conflicts lmfao we get taught up to the Cold War and that’s it usually

  • @gempizza6425
    @gempizza6425 Před 3 lety +66

    So um...i'm gonna need an album of all the songs that are performed at the end of these puppet history episodes

  • @kristineh8309
    @kristineh8309 Před 3 lety +899

    I think we need to take a moment to appreciate that Shane got “Sierra Mist” and “blinker” into a song.

  • @SetFireGirl
    @SetFireGirl Před 3 lety +526

    the resentment in Ryan's eyes when he catches himself laughing at one of the Professor's jokes tho

  • @cameronbelliston8296
    @cameronbelliston8296 Před 3 lety +35

    "besides being a shitty band" hey ryan, if you'd just close your eyes

  • @jasonlong8754
    @jasonlong8754 Před 2 lety +12

    This episode had:
    Flashback to Garrick turning into a puppet and proclaiming, "This hurts!"
    Garrick commenting on how much he got hit on while a puppet.
    Death Chemists
    Slaughter Water
    More hints at the Professor's past.
    The Professor vaping.
    An amazing Beastie Boys style song ("You ready for this? Poison their ass!")
    "Do not murder. Do not poison."
    Gerrick forgetting about the effect the jelly beans have on him and turning into a puppet once again. "God dammit! Why?"

  • @jabtrack123
    @jabtrack123 Před 3 lety +429

    “Marie” - the name of every French woman during this time

    • @raerohan4241
      @raerohan4241 Před 3 lety +15

      Or Louise

    • @Rhysdux
      @Rhysdux Před 3 lety +2

      And some French men as well! For example, Lafayette's full name was Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de La Fayette.

  • @char5180
    @char5180 Před 3 lety +292

    I think my favorite part of these besides the songs is when the guest leaves to get their prize and Ryan and the Professor just trash talk and threaten each other 😂

  • @MissPuppy468
    @MissPuppy468 Před 10 měsíci +7

    Fun fact bastille is not only a prison, but in French it's a verb. Someone can be bastilled, or thrown into the bastille.

  • @spaceland-fae5264
    @spaceland-fae5264 Před 2 lety +7

    "Occasionally you have to smooch an inbred ghoul" made me laugh unfortunately while I was drinking and now there's orange juice in my nose 😭😭

  • @demi_lynnx
    @demi_lynnx Před 3 lety +370

    Title: “The Affair of the Poisons”
    My brain : ✨A Q U A T O F A N A✨

    • @burpydude8811
      @burpydude8811 Před 3 lety +56

      Shana sha shana sha shana sha sha shana shaaa

    • @justinebermudez3605
      @justinebermudez3605 Před 3 lety +51

      I actually thought the video is about the ✨aqua tofana✨

    • @MissSimone02
      @MissSimone02 Před 3 lety +15

      THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I COULD THINK OF TOO!!!

    • @thaisfranca4394
      @thaisfranca4394 Před 3 lety +5

      Yeeeeeees

    • @oliviagriffith3626
      @oliviagriffith3626 Před 3 lety +26

      Haha, here are the Bailey Sarian fans I was looking for!! We need the Professor to do an episode on ~A Q U A T O F A N A~ for sure!

  • @mxrmlt
    @mxrmlt Před 3 lety +807

    we need an online university episode where the professor's computer gets a virus, everything goes haywire, and ryan finally wins fairly

    • @N0noy1989
      @N0noy1989 Před 2 lety +17

      Ryan did win one fair and square. But the Professor chose not to announce winners that episode.

  • @stakrs16
    @stakrs16 Před rokem +14

    Fun fact: King Louis XIV (known as "Le roi du soleil" for being one of the first authoritative monarchs in Europe that gave monarchs all of a state's governmental power) was very open about the amount of mistresses he had! He was often seen with them, AND the children that came from those affairs, in church. He basically got away with it because of his reputation

  • @vanillanoxfleuret
    @vanillanoxfleuret Před 2 lety +29

    I appreciate that Ryan turned up dressed somewhat like PaRappa the Rapper

  • @franciscoflores5111
    @franciscoflores5111 Před 3 lety +986

    Is no one gonna talk about “To-do list: Rawdog the big guy?”

    • @Ali-mv3jc
      @Ali-mv3jc Před 2 lety +8

      @TK Wallace honestly I'm surprised she didn't have more kids!

    • @PoochieCollins
      @PoochieCollins Před 2 lety +3

      @TK Wallace : she was pretty smart; it's too bad her intelligence was used on being a psychopath.

  • @Vic_the_owl92
    @Vic_the_owl92 Před 3 lety +244

    The empty eyes of the Professor as he said "I don't know." Deep inside he knew what could have happened to his family but he can only remember fire.

  • @IAmNotYourProblem
    @IAmNotYourProblem Před 9 měsíci +5

    Fun fact- the cause of death for hanging is usually a broken neck. Usually it’s a quick affair, and the cases where the neck doesn’t snap often take longer and is obviously more painful so strangulation is a more painful and longer way to execute someone.

  • @juniormedrano3662
    @juniormedrano3662 Před 3 lety +27

    Guy: You heard me when I said I was a lawyer.
    Lady: Damn this wine Is delicious holy shit!!!!
    😂😂😂lmao dead.

  • @TerrificGiggles
    @TerrificGiggles Před 3 lety +359

    "Are you just a human that keeps eating jelly beans?" WAIT, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS PROFESSOR LORE--

  • @JoeyLavarias
    @JoeyLavarias Před 3 lety +191

    "Papa, I want a jelly bean!" - the sentence that will haunt my dreams for an indefinite amount of time.

  • @shoesfillupwithwater
    @shoesfillupwithwater Před rokem +6

    "papa! i want a jelly bean!" - a very normal, very sane quote that I think about every damn day

  • @Saurrgayy
    @Saurrgayy Před 2 lety +5

    Ryan: "Can I have a point?"
    Mr. Professor: ............
    " *N O* "

  • @averylynas2465
    @averylynas2465 Před 3 lety +1230

    i’m supposed to be writing a research paper in biology right now but i can’t miss this

    • @DJLTT
      @DJLTT Před 3 lety +25

      We all must stop what we're doing to watch this the moment it comes out

    • @cameseehc7371
      @cameseehc7371 Před 3 lety +17

      same, im literally in class right now but like. puppet history. so,,

    • @EmilyHenthorn
      @EmilyHenthorn Před 3 lety +10

      Me sitting here with an actual history lecture to listen to 😅

    • @cameseehc7371
      @cameseehc7371 Před 3 lety +2

      m o o d

    • @maddyyhitch
      @maddyyhitch Před 3 lety +3

      girl I’m supposed to be writing a history paper too but here we are

  • @JulianneMcLarney
    @JulianneMcLarney Před 2 lety +6

    Slaughter water sounds like some kind of moonshine mixed with vodka that would kill anyone who drank more than half a shot

  • @charlacobb3968
    @charlacobb3968 Před 3 lety +60

    Lyudmila Mikhailovna Pavlichenko. AKA, Lady Death. Please do a video about her. I've asked so many people to, and no one has! I'd really love to see the Professor talk about the Nazi's greatest fear in WWII!

  • @shen-qf9mc
    @shen-qf9mc Před 3 lety +191

    we can see that garrick, despite turning into a puppet, was clearly still modeled after his human body. if the professor is actually turning into a puppet by repeatedly consuming jellybeans, this implies that his true form is a hyper realistic giant blue hairy monster, as you do.