The Epidemic of Feeling Ugly, Lonely and Jealous
Vložit
- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- #ad Go to betterhelp.com/lana for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help
Chapters:
00:00 - Why do you want to be beautiful?
01:45 - Some statistics
02:39 - My story
04:40 - Pretty privilege
05:54 - Evolutionary sychology
07:46 - Beauty through history
10:17 - Social media
13:02 - Different types of pretty
13:50 - Body positivity movement
15:51 - Remain critical
17:50 - What makes me feel beautiful
Sex at dawn: geni.us/k0xbMe
Articles mentioned:
www.mentalhealth.org.uk/about...
www.washingtonpost.com/archiv...
prestonparkmuseum.co.uk/victo...
Newsletter ⟶ www.lanablakely.com
My podcast ⟶ geni.us/lanablakelypod
🤎 Help support here (if you can) ⟶ / lanablakely
Instagram ⟶ / lanablakely
Twitter ⟶ / lanablakelys
Facebook ⟶ / lanablakelys
TikTok ⟶ www.tiktok.com/lanablakely
Take my journaling class for free here ⟶ skl.sh/3PTWRP8
What I use to make my videos:
Where I get my music ⟶ geni.us/lanablakelymusic (get a 30 day free trial)
Main camera ⟶ geni.us/W0w8
Vlog camera ⟶ geni.us/hMqRA7
Favorite lens ⟶ geni.us/FcKaF
Mic #1 ⟶ geni.us/cCdW
Mic #2 ⟶ geni.us/FPPOFx
For the full list, go here ⟶ www.lanablakely.com/filmmaking
What I use for my daily journaling:
Notebook ⟶ geni.us/HyHhy3
Pen ⟶ geni.us/W6pF3NA
Books that shaped me:
Stoner ⟶ geni.us/0ERey
Attached ⟶ geni.us/5c2izr
Little prince ⟶ geni.us/fRDWat
Quiet ⟶ geni.us/mA1IIcs
Conversations on love ⟶ geni.us/MXC7K
For my complete book recommendation list, go here - www.lanablakely.com/bookclub
Personal email ⟶ hello@lanablakely.com
Business email ⟶ lanablakely@sixteenth.co
This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a commission if you choose to make a purchase through my link, with no extra cost to you. - Jak na to + styl
#ad Go to betterhelp.com/lana for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help
I really really LOVE you💑 You are my favorite LanA🌹🍓💕❤
❤❤❤🌹🌼💑💕
Beauty isn't just physical , it also comes from the soul and heart , the most beautiful people are those who value you and bring peace to your life and not conflict and also add to your happiness , some people out there who are physically 9 or even 10 out of 10 are some of the scum of the earth , anyway i said too much , great job as always miss lana , may you be happy and healthy you deserve it
Could you please make a video talking about the exact way you record your videos including camera, and camera lens? Your videos and thumbnails look amazing.
BetterHelp is a scam. I love you but not a fan of this sponsorship
Isn’t it so interesting how being beautiful holds so much influence on everything we do in life, yet it’s deemed as shallow when someone dares to pursuit. It definitely isn’t everything, but it would be silly to pretend it’s nothing.
I think that might be because there's very limited improvement you can make for your appearance. Most of it is decided by genetics. Although I do believe beauty is indeed very important.
That's because beauty as a precursor to health and beauty that is nothing more than shallow modifitcations are different. Anorexic skinny, removing moles, removing monolids, etc. do nothing but erase harmless bodily features in the name of beauty.
Life is illusory, those under the influence of illusion will act according to illusion. Beauty inside and outside is important, but beauty on the outside is temporal it can fade or be taken from you. But internal beauty is eternal, it is true for those who can SEE
I find that interesting too I guess people don’t want to admit that it matters
i agree to a certain extent. genetics cannot be bypassed. but i also feel like people tend to underestimate exactly how much they can change for the better. Surely it's more advantagous to focus on that which is in your control vs that which is not? @@xozu
"I'm not jealous. I'm envious. Jealousy is when you worry someone will take what you have. Envy is wanting what someone else has. What I feel is *envy*." - Homer Simpson
Jealousy is wanting/fear of loss. Envy is actually taking/destroying what someone has and/or actually attacking the person because of what they have.
@@postmodgent1499 I prefer Homer's definition
says who? for I have never seen such definitions@@postmodgent1499
Not even close to being accurate.
“Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly… And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths”
-David Foster Wallace.
“This is water”
I feel so beautiful inside when my little girl comes running up into my arms and says 'I love you so much mummy' *no feeling can ever compare* 🤱
:')
You're beautiful inside and out 🤍
@@lenalee5516 YOU are very beautiful 🫶
Lemme guess your daughter has no father around
@alanm6o9 what an odd thing to say, her father is sitting right next to me as I type laughing at your bizarre comment. 🤣
timely video for me. feeling down that i wasted my teen years 18-21 due to COVID and family problems. now im 23 and seeing younger students doing normal friends stuff makes me super sad. everyone around me had normal dating and friends only me alone. feel like shit when i see 18 year olds enjoying life like i was supposed to. wish i was born into a different family culture every day. loneliness really really hurts. if you have a loved wife or gf please go hug her. i don't know what a hug feels like. bless and have a good day.
I'm sorry. I hope things get better and that you can find people who love and care for you
Feel the same D: Giving you the internet hug
Hi, I can relate to what your feeling. Seeing my younger sister make the most of where I used to be is a mix of jealousy and being proud. I wish I had enjoyed more and spent more time with my friends, if I had known we'd be in isolation for years. Now, everything has changed and I can't seem to move forward along with everyone else. It can feel lonely to see people once so close to me take different paths and life. This quote helped me cope with wishing for things to be different, and I hope it will comfort you too: just because things can be different, doesn't mean it will be better. And always convinced myself that change is always good, even if it doesn't seem like it. Another perspective-changing video is from Pursuit of Wonder's Happiness. And hey, if u want someone to talk to, I'm up to be friends!❤
I can feel you bro.. It doesn't feel like I lived my 20-22 years... Things are still almost the same. But I think I am more mature and understanding now.
Internet hug from me too!
I feel the same way about body positivity. It created a lot of insecurities in me because I saw that they focused on many negative things, sometimes giving it more importance than it had so they can make their criticisms. Accepting that not many people were going to like me and finding my own sense of beauty to follow helped me a lot. I also feel better being elegant and feminine, wearing certain clothes... I have gained a lot of self-esteem thanks to that difference on perspective. And I feel people look at me differently too! Confidence does a lot.
We need to come out of the social media sea, the waves of fake standards and the currents of useless trends are pulling us down and down into what would eventually be a depth of despair.
Thank you very much for sharing this, much needed for us to know what our body needs and wants, the difference is what needed to be learnt.
Please keep up!
'I want to be stunning like me'. I love that!
There is a difference between being beautiful and elegant. Beauty can be purchased, elegance doesn’t have a price. I prefer elegance over beauty any day.
No it can't be purchased
@@poohoff Agreed. If beauty could be purchased it wouldn't have the power it has.
@XYK533 plastic surgery exists you know... if you have have money you don't even have to lose weight, you can just get the fat removed. You can get wider hips, you can get skin treatments, you can even get hair transplants like Elon Musk if you want...
But you wouldn't look like yourself anymore and that's sad.
Great words my guy!
You can be elegant only if you are beautiful , No ?
This is much needed topic. Social media is getting scary they are people saying how to look.. how to dress.. how to be in relationship.. what product to use. We have so many distractions and it makes us feel that we lack something in life. We should only see social media as entertainment factor and not let to harm our lives. Though they are many beauty standards like u said I feel extremely beautiful about myself when I do something. Apart from physical beauty if I understand someone's pain... If I laugh watching silly videos... If I'm dancing for my favourite song ... Just simply starting at the ceiling... Making other feel better through my actions and they are so many things that makes me feel so beautiful about myself. And that moment I feel that none can be me. And I love being myself that feeling is unmatched. Just being yourself and accepting yourself as you are is the only thing we should focus on rather than following the beauty standards.
I just want to say thank you for your videos. I think the body positivity point I relate to so much, because I've had people point out parts of my body and try to tell me to "love them" and yet it makes me feel so much worse about them parts of my body.
Hope you're doing well Lana and thanks for your videos, which are really thought provoking and interesting to watch.
I've been watching your videos for a good few years now but there's something about the topic and delivery of this one that is just so.. healing? Thank you as always, Lana, for your wonderful insight and introspective work 🫶
Always at the right time, always comforting to me. Thank you ❤
Very relatable as I suffered a lot from this growing up. It was only when I truly saw myself (not just the physical body), my mind got quiter and started loving myself more. Self love is nothing to be embarrassed of!! Thanks for the awesome content as always
I love how beautiful your words played in my ears and I can’t help but simply smile because you’re definitely saying relatable words. And I love it!thank youuu❤
I just love how, you know everytime what I'm going through and see you make a video about it. How did you know that I needed this lana ❤❤❤
Social media is so full of lies and how its manipulating young girls through false beauty standards is alarming. I used to be so insecure and body concious but as I start accepting myself with all my flaws I somehow manage to get over those insecurities. Now for me it doesn't matter even if someone calls me ugly...
Thank you, Lana Blakely, this video is so interesting and inspiring
DUDE WHAT I WAS JUST THINKING OF WATCHING UR PREVIOUS VIDEO RN AND LIKE WHAT U POSTED A NEW PNE ANDDD I NEEDED THIS I LOVE YOUUU😭
🥹🥹❤
The ending of the video was perfect and absolutely relatable ❤
This is just the video I needed at the moment. Thank you Lana
I needed this❤ ...I will continuously watch it whenever I need comfort
Love you Lana!
You are one of the most beautiful souls I know currently and I am so grateful!
Gorgeous line -" I wanna be stunning like me".
Really loved it !
was looking forward to this thank you!!!!!
thank you lana. I’m really so grateful for your advice i needed it.
Lana, this video was such a right one for me right now, thank you so much for this!!!!!!
Much needed advice for everyone of all ages. Relentless & unrealistic expectations hurt everyone 🌸.
how every time you post a video it is exactly what i need to hear at that point in time
Thank you Lana.. I seriously like listening to you and you really made me believe that I want to be stunning like ME.. yes all I ever wanted is to feel great in being myself and look MY BEST and LOVE MYSELF..
Love from India..❤
The notification of your video came at the perfect moment, thank you
☺️☺️
prologue felt so relatable as i am so insecure about so many things while everyone around me seems to be flawless
I needed this and especially the end part made me so happy :)
I lost 80 pounds within a few years, I never experienced jealousy so much. I knew it wasn't all about the weight loss. People are disgusting as soon as they see someone happy.
this video is related to my morning's affirmation this morning, I need this❤
As a guy, being handsome and quiet is a major turn on for women while being average and quiet is just creepy, so stupid.
czcams.com/video/0iHr5tJhTgA/video.htmlsi=XPhHXvfxgUsvBF7l
Best thing's about social media is to connect & listen people around the world free ❤ we learn many new things,idea, culture, people life etc , Good knowledge mam 🙏
I've been frustrated thinking she can't give the solution for "pretty privilege". But at the end she made me feel differently saying she feels beautiful when she is "happily in love". And thats true. When you are in that moment, you won't bother about anything else other than this beautiful feeling. And thats all that mayters. She is smart. Ofcourse in one room I'll be the prettiest girl but in another room another person will be the prettiest. But if I'm feeling beautiful inside, why does all this matters? What's meant for you will be yours, whether it be a job or a role or whatever. Pretty privilege exists but it will effect you only if you are bothered about it and not "feeling beautiful inside".
Amazing video and message at the end
Just on time, love u Lana❤
this is a really great video!thank you for the time you put into this stuff!!^^
I would love to see more autism content from you!! I really enjoyed your video on highly sensitive people and felt that it made so much sense to me as an autistic person
I wonder if this will be very helpful for most people. You are among the 1% most beautiful people and it is great to see that this helped you on your journey. However, the same is not open to everyone and it can even be counter-productive to tell viewers to "Just be beautiful."
Your video on envy made me a better person and am still on the process. Thanks Lana
You are a legend and never stop doing what you do so long as it brings you joy ❤
My favorite quote about beauty that i also try to live by is,
"Beauty is truth looking at itself in the mirror."
- Rabindranath Tagore, Literature Nobel Laureate from India for "Gitanjali"
I love her channel I agree with all the topics shared
♥ Loved your content! It really resonated with me. It's awesome finding kindred spirits who share similar thoughts. Keep going; You are my safe place! ✨xo
Lana for the creation to allow more time to process information about things love relationships and how to get involved in the lives
Lana change my life♥️✨🦋
this video gave me chills
Most beautiful video I have ever seen❤
Great video! 🙌🏾 IMO Twitter is the worst at showing me content I do not want to see.
Much needed video❤
About the body positivity, it has been an important component for me in recovering from an ed and I think that encouraging people to accept things like hip dips can be beneficial for those who discovered that insecurity through for example harmful fitness content, like I did, or through ed. So for someone who never suffered from it and wasn't exposed to those insecurities before the positive content, it can I think reveal those insecurities so it's just more useful for people who had those insecurities deeply ingrained before. The internet created many insecurities that were never a thing and the way I see it is I use the good content to unlearn the bad content that I was affected by in the first place a few years ago
The thing you said about hip dips, exact same thing happened with me too. I was smiling while you were talking about it because I related every part of it. I didn't know that we should have a long chin and good cheekbones until I saw tik toks on spreading positivity about not having those things. I never knew about body types and suddenly I started seeing those shorts surrounding spreading body positivity and I started to know about body types and was being insecure about what if I have that body type that people are spreading positivity on. Hell, I didn't even know that skinny people are also insecure about their bodies until I came across this so called "body positivity movement".
Nice perspective.
Don’t try to be perfect Lana…..perfection is your natural self, and is an internal love and energy . Eyes show your soul…conclusion Perfection is imperfection 👊🙏❤️
I was heavy a few years back and that was the time when I was being bullied by one of my classmates.
I did a lot of dieting and lost pounds.
Heavy dieting I mean.
I would eat only once a day( I know it wasn’t correct).
I was a very good student and still I am , but the only thing that has changed has been my appearance .
What I noticed was that while I was getting more recognised , I was also being treated dumb and shallow (BTW I am a Ph.D scholars) and as a girl who had nothing to offer other than her beauty.
A lot of them would make fun of me especially male scholars and profs and try to show that I wasn't well read enough to be a scholar, but at the same time would flock to me like anything.
While it attracted people to me , it also made them stereotype me.
So , yes, you are correct.
This channel is your story. You are growing up whilst you make videos. I think it's a really precious thing to have that
it's true - and everyone's taking it out on me!!! jealousy is a disease - get well soon!
"For beautiful eyes, see the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness and for poise, walk with the knowledge you are never alone."- Audrey Hepburn ❤❤
When I was younger (almost 19 now) my classmates and even my parents used to call me ugly and I just took it and accepted that I was unnatractive but last year I got first girlfriend, pretty much the first person I remember saying I'm good looking and then some friends I met online and then my ex started saying the same and right now I'm just confused. Several years or people calling me ugly grew roots in my brain, I can't see myself in the mirror or photos and think that I'm good looking but close friends say I am so I don't know and that doesn't help my lack of self esteem
This is why I love subliminals
My favourite CZcamsr 🌻
🥹🥹❤️
Being ugly means your life is worth nothing for anyone except maybe your parents and this is what my life is about
You can curse your genetics all your life and be bitter and really crappy to be around OR you can accept the fact that you are ugly and do something great with your life. Smiling makes you 10X beautiful and it's actually true and not just cliche. All the great people who have lived and died are remembered for the great things they did and not for their face.
Leave a great legacy behind, people. Change the world and make it better. You have the power.
A pretty face can only help you for the first 2 seconds. But your personality can leave a lasting impression on people.
Always be respectful and cheerful even in the face of adversity. Have unfailing optimism.
That's the only way you can win over bad genetics.
All this is from someone who thinks he's the ugliest person in every single place he goes to. But I will not let shitty genetics bring me down.
PEACE AND LOVE .
Sometimes, sane words are all we need.
Absolutely GORGEOUS🌹🌼🍓💕💑❤
thank you
In photography there's a concept called pixel peeping where people zoom in on photos to meticulously edit photos.
The same happens to people with looks. Self awareness isn't always a good thing. That is, constantly focused on the self.
Most gorgeous angel on the earth
Thank you for enlightening me on hip dips 🤣
It’s so shitty. I always considered myself beautiful and I got a lot of compliments especially on my body. I had never problems talking to other people because most of the time I felt like they wanted to talk with me.
Now that I am in a longer relationship I gained some weight and I feel like it’s so much harder now. People end conversations with me so much faster and it feels like I have to be extra funny or interesting to keep them around me.
What about losing the weight?
Lana I've Asperger's like Elon Musk so I'm a brilliant individual also I'm German-Irish-Indigenous-lineage Bavarian so I've my "Indian Affairs and Northern Canada- Certificate of Indian Status" so there's jealousy and else.However,beauty is only skin deep.Don't judge a book by it's cover.Lana I like your vox and your informative words.Jerome❤❤❤
You are so so beautifull. I would make you feel special beside me, hope you will find someone who can understand you, support and love you to the way you deserve it. ❤
I'm so done with all this body positivity stuff. It started as something good with the idea of health at every size for instance which meant to say "even though you're overweight and you're joints hurt you can still adopt healthy habits and do something good for yourself. Be proud of yourself, we all deserve respect, you can't be held back", which now turned into "I'm a fat lazy f*** proudly stuffing my face with the entire crisp section and you better respect that cause I'm not holding back" ..... 😶 ..... Its like the game we played in kindergarten where the first person whispered something in the next person's ear and so on and last person had to say it out loud and it's something completely different. People hear what they think they hear.
Honestly your videos are different from other in your niche I really love to watch them. If you don't mind, I have given a suggestion regarding your videos in mail, I hope you have seen it.
Lana, you should start a podcast :)
I loved my body. I thought of it as a straight (without curves), healthy body. Elegante. Till the moment someone on internet sad "I love my body even tho I look like a door 🚪" .
From that moment I saw my body shape as looking like a door not elegant anymore.
Okayyy i get it like every one wanted to be pretty, but what if you already feel pretty but you aren't desired by others? That make us questioned ourself "am i pretty? Why other people doesnt think that im pretty? Whats wrong with me?" And even questioning our personality like "am i too much? Too loud? Too boring? Too introverted/ekstroverted? Not fun to be around with?" That things is suck especially for me, I have never feel pretty since I get acne all over my face and for people to mention it all the time and make fun of it.
nice video
Have a great day ahead for you and for the same thing happened to me in my opinion So people can see the result.
Спасибо за видео. Вы прекрасны. Привет из Москвы. ❤❤❤
Hey lana, are you considering making podcast episodes again?
I'm second.
Have a good week Lana 🎉
Hii! You too ☺️
14:38 I think is not related to the body positive movement per say. Like don't get me wrong the movement have some questionable things, but I think that what made you feel consious about it it wasn't the movement but that someone or something pointed out. For example, one of my biggest insecuroties is my nose, but I started being self consious about bc one classmate was like "so when are you going to get a nose job" 😅. Idk if it makes sense
infact we want look like each other
No, I do not want to contribute for that. And I wont scape from dealing with the issue. Thank you for calling my attention on it. ❤
I've been comparing myself alot to celebrities over the past few months, specifically idols who are in kpop. I'm very well aware that most of these celebrities either get surgery done or some other procedure to make them look like that or they just have easier access to things that extend their beauty. But I can't help but feel inadequate to them. I want to be pretty like them. I want people to look at me and talk about how glamorous I am. I feel like it's mainly because now that I'm 21, I'm old enough to look like an adult and be glamorous, beautiful, and elegant and while I try to be all of these things, I am not enough. I am an adult now, I don't look enough like one now and I feel pressurised. I feel incompetent and not enough and when I compare myself to these people, it worsens. And with the recent rise in beauty videos like skincare and make up, I'm more worried about how I'll look when I'm older and I just want to be beautiful. I already am but I strive for more and more and more.
''I want people to look at me and talk about how glamorous I am'' ,wow I felt that ,seems I'm not the only one who wants that ,lol. Aspiring to be like a kpop idol is a difficult goal ,there diets and workout routines are insane ,a normal person would not be able to follow .
All my life i thought and believed that my hair is the best thing in my appearance. It was long and healthy and slightly curly i loveeeed it. Untill oneday my sisters in law made a comment about how frizzy it looked and that i should take care of it more, i was shocked, like seriously if my hair is ugly then what will be there left for me? So everytime i looked in the mirror i was ashamed of my hair
It's crazy how can someone make you feel insecure about something you thought it was nearly perfect
your so pretty xxx
Morthan 💎
Welcome ❤
I've come to the realization that I don't care about being attractive to myself. That's kind of why the body positive movement doesn't work for me. I'm not autosexual so I've never cared about how I looked, I've been more concerned with how my body performs and if it can do all the things I want it to do. It's only when I think about other people that I begin to feel insecure. I don't identify with the body positive or body neutral movements because people in those movements are trying to make a conscious effort to feel some way about their body. I just want to go back to the mindset that I had as a kid where my physical appearance took up little to no space in my mind.
Yes, I think that's a healthy attitude. There are so many more worthwhile things to concentrate your energies on. This is how we men feel about our bodies-we're grateful if they take us where we want to go but our ego doesn't live there
15:26 so true
That's why I love u
Hey Lana, how do you deal with all the creepy comments. Do you just not read comments. I can't stand looking through them but when I get them myself I really hate it.
you are gorgeous
Ali Abdaal - take the notes !😆