Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
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Tags - Jak na to + styl
Just noticed how off center my sit-down shots are?? Hours of editing and I didn't notice. Sorry! :(
but we wouldn't see the pretty plants behind you if you weren't 🌿😊
All good your content is still amazing 👌
Please tell me you have a podcast! We definitely need one. Your voice is comforting. It's nice to listen when we tryna do things we could also listen to you (although we could do it here). Love you! 💕
Frankly didn't notice that.. Not a problem :)
Seems like the topic gets in mixer 😅😆🤣
“Don’t pretend to be the victim of the circumstances you created”
- Unknown
Even if you're victim of someone else's actions, you have to get out of it and to do that you have to stop being the victim.
Sometimes "we" don't create our own problems... Others may contribute to your own life circumstances
Well the question is how to get out of it man I feel like I'm stuck here forever...
This is too harsh, and almost wrong. Not all problems are created by ourselves. Some people get raped is that their fault, some born without limbs is that too their fault.
I agree that sometimes we get stuck in victim mentality but it is not entirely our fault. We won't be doing that if our childhood were great.
this is extremely harsh and untrue. it applies to a few situations only. if people always “created” their own circumstances, then no one would’ve picked depression or any other mental illness. such a dumb quote and you guys are eating it up. it’s insensitive.
*"You'll watch an entire Netflix series even when the first episodes are slow just because someone told you that "it gets better" but what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?"*
That’s deep bro
That was awesome..m copying it..❤️
Funny usually people don’t keep watching just because you tell them it gets better, that’s most likely the problem with most people.
Whoaa
‘Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.’
- George R R Martin
Agree 😑👌🏻
Self-deprication requires self-awareness.
"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."
Victim mentality brings you nowhere. You‘ll never be truly happy because you always blame other people and your circumstances for your situation and mood! Thanks for this video Lana.
On the extreme end of the pity-party person is a narcissist.
I sometimes have this mentality and I notice it really affects my empathy for others.
After the invasion of Russia in Ukraine will get all Europe
Totally! I've definitely been like this, too.
you're amazing lana, i've watched so many of your videos x
-monica
Two of the greatest CZcamsrs ever!
Oh my this is so Rad ! yes ! do a collab if possible it'll be lovely to see that :)) ❤❤❤
Your channel is amazing and so important!
We'd love to see a collab !!
Dear Psych2Go. Watching your content allowed me to discover Lana's channel about a year ago! After all, Lady Algorithm did that.
"being a victim does not mean you have a victim mentality and having a victim mentality does not mean you're a victim"
This hit me. What a powerful statement
So true, right?! ☀️
Thats what I try to teach everyone around me as well. Living as if noone cares about your struggles makes you care less about them, too. When I stopped whining to people I stopped feeling bad about many unfortunate events. Just take responsibility where you can and be honest with yourself. A bad day will only get worse when you obsess over it and feel pity for yourself.
I find that living as if noone cares depresses me. The thought of noone caring seems really sad to me. But I agree otherwise whining less is good
@@snoozyq9576 yes i do agree
Its terrifying thinking that no one will ever care that about you
But in reality i think
Someone always cares about you
It might not be the same person everytime but someone on this planet will always care
Like today i care about you and i am wishing you a wonderful day ahead 🎉
@@snoozyq9576 it's not that no-one cares, a lot of people care. It's just that living as if they didn't and taking things into your own hands with every chance you get will lead to more sovereign lifestyle. Being independant doesn't mean never having friends and such, just that you will be fine on your own.
@@tonydraht yes i know a lot of people care
I was just sayin that sometimes when you are at your lowest point it feels like no one cares
It is really hard to get over that feeling
But thanks for reminding me that
GIRL, i was JUST in the shower crying feeling sorry for myself 😂 This came at a perfect time!!
😩😂 Glad this came at a good time
I love watching your videos so much, you're so calming.
That's one of the main reasons I watch her.
Agreed mayn
I follow her regularly. She is like a virtual counsellor to me ❤
Right. Her videos are on my playlist titled "Bedtime."
@@Stonefalconetti lol🤣🤣🤣
@@KKhloec Well, it's the truth. 🤧🤷🏻♂️
Lana’s like that tough love friend that just really wants the best for you 💗
Agree.
❤️❤️
This isn’t ‘tough love’ it’s gaslighting and profoundly toxic. This kind of garbage can damage people for life.
I was suffering of the syndrome of helplessness and my life was a nightmare! I was playing the victim and blaming others for all my misfortune! But not any more, I have learned many things in time, life forced me to 'wake up'! Now I can deal with my problems differently, easily and quickly!
Will do Europe after the invasion of Russia, I do not know if will get all the countries
Something I found helps a lot with the ego when I'm stuck in self pity is to think "would I let myself feel like this if no one was watching and no one cared?" Thinking that way helps me filter out the attention seeking, victim side of this feeling.
That’s cool! It’s a quick way to get honest
@@intentionalliving7326 Exactly! It helps build new habits.
I am a victim-mindset based person! Proudly working on it :) My dad has this mindset too, it is very depressing, it is not worth staying with it. Change is uncomfortable but so much better. Nice video about the topic!
You already made a big step by recognizing this. I’m proud of you
@Tyler Gibson Thank you so much for sharing this! I wish you the best too for your journey! :)
@@saba4495 Awwww, thank you so much! What a lovely comment
After the invasion of Russia in Ukraine you will bow
@@user-yc5je3pk1p Interesing :)
"Feeling sorry for yourself is preventing you from getting from where you need to be" I needed this video
Your mention of ego and victim mentality coexisting is spot on. People cling to their perceived victimhood because, if they give it up, "what else will be left"? They've psychologically invested in it; it's their character and gives them character. Not to mention a justification for their "whoa is me" attitude.
Anyway, great video as always! The Invite Pity-Party Host (IPPH) concept definitely needs to be popularised.
Your timing is immaculate.
I agree
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”
-Rocky Balboa
So it's about how much pain we can suffer but ignore ? That's not a very happy perspective. People need a reason to fight, that gives a goal, a path to happiness. Otherwise it's just surviving. No point in building a society or civilisation if it's to still be no more than animals in the end. That's not what i fight for at least.
Or maybe i just don't get the quote. That's a possibility
@@electo21 i think what the quote means is that
Our pain makes us who we are in life
We can't escape the pain and when we know this
We could just move on in life
And let that be the purpose to be greater than the pain we have felt
To quote Gwen from Spiderman movie
We have to be greater than what we suffer.
I have this quote on the wall of my home gym. I read it everyday
Nietzsche often referred to a very profound alternative to self-pity. He said: .. throw roses into the abyss and say, “here’s my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.” And Jorge Luis Borges also had a take on that. He said: “La derrota tiene una dignidad que la victoria no conoce”, which roughly translates as: “defeat may carry a kind of dignity that victory knows nothing about.” We should not loath pain or hard times. We should wear our scars with acceptance, humility and honor. We should accept the challenge and try to master the art of transforming pain into new life, into a new creation. Don’t you think?
You are so right, Alejandro!! Very well said..
thats lovely
The way this woman carries herself and talks is so incredibly attractive.
Intelligent women are my Kryptonite.
I agree with you, Lana has such an amazing energy!
@@DoctorKat Her voice alone is calming!
@Top Hat Sheep It's his weakness. I was saying that Lana is mine.
@Top Hat Sheep no, it robs him of his superpowers. LF is saying he has a weakness for people like Lana
I hear ya bro. Reminds me of my most idealized image of a girlfriend I had in college. I think you've got to be very smart and a strong introvert to fully get the whole package.
When I have a bad day, I try to focus on the positives. Now that doesn’t mean I ignore reality, but you don’t want to always be stuck in a positive mindset. I grieve, but I also need to eventually move on with my life. No one else would help me move out of a negative mindset other than myself.
Sending love from New York 💓✨
Lana, you just made my remember a song I like by Kiana Ledé, "One of them days".
The song goes like:
"Feel like I wanna cry, it's okay
If I forget to smile, it's okay
And if I need some time for piece of mind, it's okay
All that I ask is
Today let me sit in my sorrow
Promise I'll be better tomorrow
The one that you love hasn't changed".
I feel like Lana is that personal therapist who comes to my rescue when I get stuck.
*Ramadan Mubarak 🌙 to all lovely Muslim brother and sister around the globe 🌎*
You have the perfect look for modeling. 🤍
I'm one of those who, if I did feel sorry for myself, was a PPP. I never asked for help from people and always tried to do things on my own.
Neither of those pity parties is good. To me, it turned into 2 suicide attempts back in 2013, which nobody saw coming.
Whenever you feel sorry for yourself, please just know that even though life sucks sometimes, those moments won't last forever, and you can try to turn the situation in your favor.
Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you, yes you're allowed to feel sorry about it, but there's a sea of women or men waiting for you.
If you lost your job, a better job is waiting for you.
When I went through this, I was in a lot of debt, where I didn't see a way out of and I also lost my mom back then, which was the first time I lost someone close to me.
And because I didn't share my feelings about it, I decided to focus on work and disregard the griefing process.
Well, what I've learned from that experience is that when you open yourself up to others and want to work on things, your life will look a lot brighter.
And things will get better.
Okay. Two things:
1. That white shirt in the beginning of the video is EVERYTHING!
2. I absolutely love the scarf in your braid. Its beautiful.
Lastly, thank you for posting. You always give me such relaxation.
Thank you so much!! xx
I know I do this and in a way.... Its a way of not dealing with my issues because I do feel powerless . Deep down I know Im not and admitting that I can be in charge of my own life is SCARY to say the least.
To anyone reading this, I hope you’re feeling well and having a lovely day! Stay safe and remember to keep smiling in these weird times, sending lots of love from a small CZcamsr❤️ ❤️
After the invasion of Russia in Ukraine will be destroyed Europe
I love how comfortable she becomes with times, it makes this time spend feel personal, more relevant and considered as a quality time
Lana you are my unpaid therapist and also like an elder sister ❤️❤️ thank you so much.
She looks like Lilly Collins and Emrata. I love her she's gorgeous
The fact that every comment in Lana VDO is so inspiring shows how inspiring Lana is & actually gaining a genuine followers who is like a whole yt family.
Idk feel like we are family not trying to be dramatic here😅 but I feel like I connect to everyone in the comment section I read every comments as possible 😅❤️
i used to be a people pleaser when i little and now whenever i assert myself i be thinking lemme right them a sorry lets make up note. its so sad i have to stop myself
This really opened my eyes
you are strong. you are capable of going through anything. all you really have to do is believe, that is the key.
Only Lana Blakely can make the sound of clearing throat sound soothing.
Lana stays telling us what we need to hear. BLESS
first of all the cinematography in this video is IMMACULATE like WOW
Thank you!! 🥺❤️
In addition to your excellent words and analysis LANA I just liked to share some skills with you .
1 Breathe. ...
2 Zoom out into the world ...
3 Zoom out in your own life. ...
4 Find one opportunity or lesson in the situation you're in. ...
5 Set a time-limit for yourself. ...
6 Get out of your own head by helping someone else out. ...
7 Look into your possible future. ...
8 Create a reminder and keep it close by.
9 Draw up a small plan (and take just one step to move forward with it).
10 Ask yourself: how can I prevent getting stuck in the same trap in the future?
This video helped me realize that I can’t keep remaining in the past or indecision, out of the need for comfort. I need to take action, instead of beating myself up and then pitying myself for circumstances I’ve literally created myself. It’s definitely a hard and unhealthy cycle to break but I feel more aware now, thank you!
Thank you so much Lana! This video has opened my eyes.
You have helped me so much, it’s amazing! Your amazing!🤍 thank you!🤍
No words to actually describe how beautifully you portray the life of certain people.
This started with a glimpse of the video title a week ago and I think I've watched more than 30 videos till now and some of them on repeat.
You are beautiful and really put in the reality of life and how to deal with it, not with perfection but with practicality.
Sooooo Soooooo blessed to watch every single video of yours.
LOVE from INDIA...
9:04 "Self- Compassion" In a confession, a priest once told me how important this was. I never knew what it meant, or how it is related to whatever I'm dealing... until I stumbled on this video. Thanks for being that friend =)
This is a real thing….it wasnt until a few weeks ago, I had just turned 30 and I relocated to another city for a new job….and I told myself yea things might have not swung my way throughout my 20s and yea I might have trusted people who didnt have my best interest at heart or have been let down by a number of people but now you have an opportunity to hit the reset button and do what you want, go where you want, and be who you want to be….I hit that reset button in my mind and I have been happier ever since.
finally watching one of your videos! youtube has been wanting me to watch your channel for so long now.
Hit the spot, timely too. Thanks a bunch Lana.
We're in charge of our life and no one can change that. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and things will naturally get better.
I really needed this 🤍⚘
"I think success, is going through life with open heart" - Nathaniel Drew
I wanted to share this quote with you all because a lot of self-pity comes from the feeling that we are not successful enough. It happened to me all the time a little while ago. Sometimes I find myself comparing to Kylie and Kendall. Their success and lifestyle. Not only them, a lot of people around me who were successful kinda bothered me until I realised it's all hidden in the way we see others lives..
Your videos like anxiety reliever. I also have a lot of problems whenever i watch your videos then they calm down me.
I love and needed to hear everything you said in this. Also, you just have such an amazing way of expressing yourself.
The part where you talked about pitty party as a defense mechanism really hit home. I have a really low self esteem and I borderline hate myself but I've never considered it to be me pitying myself. Truthfully, I tend to undermine myself first before anybody else could criticize me or hurt me. It's such a weak thing to do but I've been hurt long enough and I still haven't healed from everything.
youtube recommended me this video just in the right time. I am feel sorry for myself and i told a couple close people how i feel and cried for a few hours, but i think it will take me sometime to stop feeling like this, Mainly because I have worked hard to achieve my goal but I can't do it and I get tired, I need a rest. Thank u for the video.
100% in agreement! It’s ok to wallow in self-pity for a bit (we’re all humans and we all have vulnerabilities), the key is to not remain in self-pity. At some point you have to dust yourself back up. Great topics Lana. Thank you :).
wow, that was a lot of mind broadening in 11 minutes.. thanks for this analysis Lana ♥︎♥︎
Thank you, Lana! You are really helping me. Can you make a video on self-love and self-compassion?
Ramadan Kareem to all those that celebrate! 🌙☪️
Thank you 😊
Thank you! Have a good day.
Thank you for this, Lana. It's like having a therapist for free whenever I'm having a hard time. 🧡
You're an amazingly true person!❤️
You are more powerful than any story you could ever tell yourself about what happened, or why you are the way you are.
I love the way you share your ideas... they are so clear and they feel so complete like you have put everyone else's perspective and points here. So that no one can feel left over...
Thanks four your content, when I watch your videos I find peace
Great timing, Lana. Not having the best of days because of the actions of certain friends.
But I love that your video today touched on self-pity because I was about to wallow in it when I know I have much more important things to think about and do today than spend too much energy on some hurtful actions from some friends who didn't really know any better.
You speak so eloquently, almost like this is a dissertation! I love the thought put into it and most of all, the content of it. :)
How did you know I needed this rn ?
My father is struggling with this a lot and I hope your videos help him the way they helped me :)
[ Ps: I said him that you are like an elder sister to me who has guided me through some low moments and he thanked you💜🙏🏻💌 ]
-Love You Lana💜
Hey Lana! I have been watching your videos for a while, and you always make me feel better about myself. So, thank you for what you are doing!
Nice topic, Lana, it's true we all feel that way at times! It's funny how we always think everyone else has it easier than us. We all have our good days and bad days, it's just human. Great video and I think the editing was fine so don't worry about it! Thanks for the insights!
This video defrosted something in my mind. Thank you soo much Lana, somehow you always find the topics that really need to be talked about which makes us feel calmer and more in tune with ourselves after your videos
Your timing is amazing! I needed this these days
I love watching and learning actual important topics that can be applied for a lifetime from people like you♥️
She calms me. Every topic is a spot on
Your voice is so soothing and your ideas are so inspiring and true. You always have a video about something I thought about before. Like I used to be an addict of self-pity years ago and this video reflects me so much. I love your videos. Keep up the great work.
Your words hold so much depth and wisdom, thank you for sharing your light 🤍
You’re amazing you have changed my life and my focus in life
There are times when you know you are a being a kind of person but you don’t want to admit it because once you agree it requires a room for change which at the moment you aren’t ready for !!! But this kind of calm explanation of my being convinces me to change for the better ! You are doing great by helping some to have self reflection and improve accordingly.... Thank you so much Lana !
While studying I LISTEN to you which disconnect's me from all the noise & disturbance around.
Thank-you Lana
Lana you're the friend that everybody needs in their life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us here ❤️
You are truely an inspiration . It’s u who has taught me to face the vulnerability and to change my 25 year old mindset . 🙏
This video came at the right time.
Time to stop trying to fix my past and instead just move on forward.
Thanks, Lana. Keep up the great work!
I am always intrigue with the topics you talk about and I love how you introduce these topics. ❤️❤️
I truly thank the girl named Lana Blakely from my heart for comforting me with her healing words in the moment i needed it the most.
I wish i can get just one friend like you. 💗
She puts into words most of the things that crosses my mind or happens to people around me or even myself. Its amazing.
Even now im somehow drained by trying to help this friend who just cant pick himself up no matter how much i try to help him , he accepts to be defeated and keeps being so toxic to himself even his heart is so kind . I thought because i know what it is like to be negative and go trough Depression i could stick up with him ,but im tired because he just keeps putting himself down. Thank you for another great video 🥰
I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for the past 2 months after quitting my job - I find it hard to articulate and explain my feelings and this video was so helpful. Thank you so much Lana ❤️
I am working on it
Because half of my life this SELF PITY thing was a part of my life and still is but now that I am working on it
I hope I'll get rid of this ❤
You are so beautiful inside and out.
So thankful I’ve found your channel, sending love and appreciation💖💖
Loved every second of this from the intro till the end!! And this is just perfect timing my pity party has come to an end thankfully..but good reminders and break down of explaining things 💛
Love the opening sequence! What helps get me out of a self-pity funk is to sit and think of 3 things I’m grateful for. Even if it’s something small like “no funky egg smell this morning”, can go a long way. A gratitude practice first thing in the morning can totally shift my mindset into an appreciation of where I’m at and what I’ve got. Thanks for talking about this! 🙌
No better way to spend a Sunday, thank you so much for this Lana! Please keep doing what you are doing! :)
Lana I don’t think you actually realise how relevant this video is for me right now. I’m sure you have a radar! How do you manage to have such perfect timing?
How. Literally how do you post videos I absolutely need at the perfect time?! Thank you
Really, really amazing work. This really touched me in so many different ways. I have felt like I have been hosting myself a pity party for almost the entirety of Covid. Ignoring and isolating myself, and not seeking help when it was absolutely necessary. Now, things are getting much better than they once were, and I feel myself becoming more goal-driven and excited to start my day like how I was pre-Covid. This video definitely depicted an arduous journey to the realization that you have to be the one to lead yourself out of such a negative moment.
idk why but it always excites me whenever i get notified with your new video. i very much love you. sending my love from Philippines💨💖
You never fail to brighten the day
The best thing in life is when you can relate with someone and Lana just makes you feel like that person. She makes falling in love look so easy. Life would be so much better if we all had it perfect. In reality, the better life is the one where we realize we're imperfect and we're going to go through hardships and struggle but we're worthy of love and belonging.
Nothing calming and relaxing like Lana Blakely on a Sunday, thanks for the encouraging words 😀
Lana’s style is something I have to learn from!
This video is incredibly powerful. Much power to you ❤️🙌🏻