Why I Don't Care What Other People Think

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  • čas přidán 17. 10. 2020
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    A little note:
    I don't think it's possible nor healthy to not ever care what others think. I care. Sometimes, a little too much. But usually, just enough. But I've worked on (and I'm still working on) trusting myself and being comfortable in the decisions that I make and the opinions that I have.
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Komentáře • 1,2K

  • @LanaBlakely
    @LanaBlakely  Před 3 lety +871

    Hi everyone. Hope you enjoyed this little video. It might be the last one filmed in my current home which feels really crazy and I can't wait to show you all the new space!! :) Anyway. Is there anything you want to do but you're too worried about what others will think?

    • @deveshshah5020
      @deveshshah5020 Před 3 lety +11

      Yes indeed ❤️

    • @forestfriend
      @forestfriend Před 3 lety +16

      It was before, but now I just do what makes me happy. Good video Lana!

    • @ayushijaiswal8755
      @ayushijaiswal8755 Před 3 lety +18

      I was searching such a channel ... I think I'm lucky that I found your channel .
      You help me a lot .
      Thank you so much

    • @fullsunoo
      @fullsunoo Před 3 lety +9

      this video was really helpful. thank you lana❤

    • @Olivia-ep5mi
      @Olivia-ep5mi Před 3 lety +6

      Indira Asperen just do it ...you'll do great

  • @usoroa.6904
    @usoroa.6904 Před 3 lety +2147

    "People that judge don't matter, and people that matter don't judge"
    KNOW YOU VALUE :D

  • @EarthyReenz
    @EarthyReenz Před 3 lety +3413

    the confidence and calmness of this woman, goals

  • @alexandraf1020
    @alexandraf1020 Před 3 lety +2880

    This powerful woman inspires like no one else does.

    • @DAurora23
      @DAurora23 Před 3 lety +5

      Yes💕

    • @a.t.8980
      @a.t.8980 Před 3 lety +3

      For real!

    • @GetGooder
      @GetGooder Před 3 lety +4

      She’s unreal!

    • @miba8303
      @miba8303 Před 3 lety +1

      really

    • @Jupa
      @Jupa Před 3 lety +6

      Values and principles. It’s crazy how each one of her videos just reflects precise convictions I’ve held dear for years. But they are reminders, much needed one. I never betrayed my values, no matter the social cost. It did cost my entire relationship with my genuinely “in love” girlfriend at the time. I stuck to my values, I refused to entertain an unreasonable ultimatum, and she couldn’t believe that I was for once stepping up my own autonomy even if it meant for us to end.
      She wanted me to cut off a friend I didn’t particularly need nor care too much for in my life , but was still close enough to protest. She was much more important to me we both knew, but if I accepted her ultimatum then I’ve accepted the precedent. I would’ve not been the somewhat happier person I am now.
      In the end, turned out she was a severe covert narcissist, and had hidden her problems so well for years. Her ultimatum didn’t work but the fact that I denied her that control ultimately broke what she thought was a good stranglehold on me. And it was, but then she asked me to turn against my values.
      The friend she didn’t like, I cut him off not too long after i denied her options, because he actually did something to insult me and it was very serious. I tried to convey that back to her
      It was my values and principles I chose over you, not him. YOU are part of those values and principles too. But you have to respect that you’re not part of deciding them for me.
      Heartbreak was, as expectedly shit. But I got over it in the technically worst year of my living life, and I’m happier. And two toxic people are now out of my life. All because i kept to one simple concept: VALUES

  • @jeriberryplaystation7010
    @jeriberryplaystation7010 Před 3 lety +606

    "Not caring doesn't mean indifference, not caring means being comfortable with being different."

  • @haridineevikhe8549
    @haridineevikhe8549 Před 3 lety +503

    The less we judge others the less we are affected by other's judgment

    • @Sara-kq8ry
      @Sara-kq8ry Před 2 lety +2

      Great comment

    • @srishtimehta9180
      @srishtimehta9180 Před rokem +4

      THIS

    • @perkarlsson9087
      @perkarlsson9087 Před rokem

      Why is that so?

    • @sapphire647
      @sapphire647 Před rokem

      But i think it still doesn't work with me... :')

    • @yawnj1n
      @yawnj1n Před rokem +4

      @@sapphire647 idk how to say this. but in my last semester i started to feel different from my friends. my friends use to do gossip around bunking class and stuff, i never bunk lectures but yeah gossips was normal that time. as my exams came near i started to get scared and focused on my studies. my friends started to call me nerd just bcos i was prioritzing my studies and was not gossiping with them. i just stopped giving them attention and stopped thinking about them. Which made my life more easier. the less i think about my friends the more I start to focus on myself.
      how to stop thinking about others? for me i used to study alot and watch self-care CZcams videos. At first it felt weird not talking with anyone but eventually i passed the phase and created my boundaries.

  • @NateOBrien
    @NateOBrien Před 3 lety +3005

    Recognize what you can control, change, or let go of…
    When I find myself feeling a negative emotion, I will ask myself three questions:
    Is this something that I can control?
    Is this something that I can change?
    Is this something that I can let go of?

    • @GrowYourWealth101
      @GrowYourWealth101 Před 3 lety +49

      That is a very smart way to look at things! 👍

    • @MichaelBordenaro
      @MichaelBordenaro Před 3 lety +25

      So cool to see Nate in the comments on this video! I have noticed that you recently have been making more videos like this and I have been trying to do the same. You and Lana are both very wise for your age! All very important topics to cover really 👌

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  Před 3 lety +180

      yes yes and yes

    • @jackthe15headedmonster25
      @jackthe15headedmonster25 Před 3 lety +26

      I am in pure shock right now I didn't knew my 2 favorite CZcamsr's knew each other OMG

    • @MichaelBordenaro
      @MichaelBordenaro Před 3 lety +3

      @@jackthe15headedmonster25 Very cool right

  • @AlexBlank
    @AlexBlank Před 3 lety +1002

    Instead of always caring _about_ these things, we should instead focus on caring _for_ - for other people, for ourselves, for what's important to us.

  • @ReynaSingh
    @ReynaSingh Před 3 lety +546

    Caring what people think is a double edged sword; it may give you validation momentarily but it takes it away just as easily. Always be true to yourself

    • @BrotherTree1
      @BrotherTree1 Před 3 lety +10

      So the challenge is to somehow stay in the middle of the double edged sword, even though inevitably we can slip and slide between those two edges.

    • @NetSkillNavigator
      @NetSkillNavigator Před 2 lety +8

      OR in other words, never be attached to someone else's opinions of you.

    • @Levi.ackerman58
      @Levi.ackerman58 Před 7 měsíci

      So just be yourself

  • @matteo.pilgrim
    @matteo.pilgrim Před 3 lety +271

    She's like the coolest cat in town.

  • @glennraya
    @glennraya Před 3 lety +293

    As I got older I realized trying to please everyone around you actually prevents you from bringing out the best in oneself. The most successful people in history never let naysayers drown their inner voice.

    • @glennraya
      @glennraya Před 3 lety +1

      @Vivi Don’t worry, I know the difference 😊

    • @hala3731
      @hala3731 Před 2 lety

      Exactly

  • @Senthilkumar-ef2pq
    @Senthilkumar-ef2pq Před 3 lety +345

    Seriously I am Ashamed of saying this.. But whenever I am in my room.. I feel like someone is watching me, And I really want to impress those non existent ppl,, Due to that I stopped Doing what I love and lost myself... Still suffering from it 😭... I hope I would change my mindset soon 💜

    • @xinguripobasa2531
      @xinguripobasa2531 Před 3 lety +18

      Same thing happens to me

    • @nalamthembu5151
      @nalamthembu5151 Před 3 lety +12

      This happens to me when I try to make an art work 😂

    • @lifefan1
      @lifefan1 Před 3 lety +30

      I believe you will overcome this. Just believe it and let it go. Life is given to us once, so why do you try to impress people? Impress YOURSELF and then you will see that this attitude impresses most people....

    • @teresa7346
      @teresa7346 Před 3 lety +48

      this comment makes me feel so good cus i thought i was the only one who did that omg, im not crazy

    • @luvlihyunjin
      @luvlihyunjin Před 3 lety +12

      The same thing happens to me, I also feel like there are people who look at me through my phone camera, like people that I like and know irl

  • @JadeTrading
    @JadeTrading Před 3 lety +1189

    👇True Lana Blakely fans attendance

  • @LifeNavigation
    @LifeNavigation Před 3 lety +162

    “When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful” - Caroline Myss

  • @IamDaria
    @IamDaria Před 3 lety +318

    How did this come so timely? This is exactly what I was thinking about this morning. At some point in my life I cared so much what others think that I lost my own identity. I always thought I need to be "more this and that" to fit in in an entirely new society. Right now I'm trying to regain my own identity again which will be entirely my own, instead of pieces of opinions I've collected from other people. And it's the most difficult thing. Thank you for this reminder. 🙂

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  Před 3 lety +23

      I love this :)

    • @parimalsrivastava5061
      @parimalsrivastava5061 Před 3 lety

      Yah I'm trying same and hoping to make change in my life and in this world #peace

    • @BrunaClaas
      @BrunaClaas Před 3 lety +3

      I love how honest this comment was.
      When I moved to another country I saw myself finally break some ties I had from my parents and the culture I was raised with. I felt like it helped me find who I truly wanted to be.
      Definitely can relate a lot with your comment!

    • @_the_little_mermaid_
      @_the_little_mermaid_ Před 2 lety +1

      @@LanaBlakely what happens when your new “friends” mess with your style choices? Recently I went from brunette to redhead and this guy friend told me in a rather unkind way “why did you dye your hair?! Everyone in the group was surprised for the worst when you appeared. I liked better how you looked before”, I was clearly giving him all the hints that I was pissed by the way he was talking to me but he kept insisting me to give him like a fucking reason or something, I felt so uncomfortable and self-conscious because I love my red hair and I’ve always been told that I look great.
      The thing is I was so comfortable with this new group of friends but after that comment I feel like they’ve been criticizing me behind my back and they think I’m ridiculous for my style or whatever because apparently I needed to “ask for their permission” to change my hair. What would you do? Do I need to let it slide so they don’t think I’m dramatic? Also, I don’t think I’m equally comfortable as before now that I know they hate the way my hair looks, kinda makes me want to avoid them. What would you do?

  • @joymae
    @joymae Před 3 lety +77

    People's judgements onto you are only a reflection of themselves and also people care too much about themselves that they aren't even thinking about what you are doing.

    • @esther9210
      @esther9210 Před 3 lety

      @@AbhishekSingh-hu5ee then stop having a bald face. Problem fixed 😃

    • @user-qe2iu4nf5d
      @user-qe2iu4nf5d Před 3 lety

      @@AbhishekSingh-hu5ee then their not good friends,, just drop them

  • @thanhsonnguyen3212
    @thanhsonnguyen3212 Před 3 lety +66

    "The less I care and judge others, I less I worry about others caring and judging me". This is excellent, thank you. You just earned a sub.

    • @hnnhml
      @hnnhml Před rokem +1

      This is really so very true

  • @melere777
    @melere777 Před 3 lety +73

    I used to be hypersensitive to what people thought, I took everything people said about me to be true, until I realized some people have bad judgement or, like you noted, bad character. It doesn't have weight to me anymore because I know their perception isn't clear compared to someone with self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and they are probably so stuck in their inner wounds that it's unlikely to be about me anyway. Meanwhile, if someone is fairly reasonable, understanding, and cares about me, that gives it more weight. I absolutely acknowledge whether what anyone says is true or not but never in the sense of trying to please anyone, I do it in order to be my best self.

  • @sacdaabdurhman
    @sacdaabdurhman Před 2 lety +57

    “Everything you've ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” Sharing some positivity with all of you. Keep smiling you are amazing.

  • @nicoleonfeels
    @nicoleonfeels Před 3 lety +184

    Lana Blakely: a certified vibe ✨

  • @ritikasingh4184
    @ritikasingh4184 Před 3 lety +186

    Your demeanour, content, words, voice, cinematography: All the elements are so soothing and grounding, almost with a soporific energy (in an ever so beautiful way). Lots of love to you!

  • @annaslifeco
    @annaslifeco Před 3 lety +28

    As I am a introverted person it is really hard for me to be myself and to reveal my true-self to the outside. I always think about what other may think of my appearance and it is slowly drowning me. I cannot live up to anyone's expectations, that is something I should have learned sooner!

  • @the1andonly
    @the1andonly Před 3 lety +81

    Not a day goes by without lessons we learn. Sometimes our perspective those we care about changes along with our values. You said it well, we need to value and guard our own integrity.

    • @GetGooder
      @GetGooder Před 3 lety +1

      Well said!!

    • @GetGooder
      @GetGooder Před 3 lety

      @@_maxfreedom that’s an amazing idea- love that!

  • @BrunaClaas
    @BrunaClaas Před 3 lety +87

    This is definitely a topic that I struggle with. I have friends that have helped me and taught me so much, but in the same time they are very judgemental. While I value their friendship immensely, I am afraid to show some sides of myself to them (such as CZcams and other passions), because of fear of being judged.
    Your video gave me some new perspectives, so thank you for sharing, Lana. I would love to explore this topic further!

    • @ChasingSunshineWithMe1612
      @ChasingSunshineWithMe1612 Před 3 lety +4

      same in my case but i live them all ,my friends are so judgmental. they judge every single thing so left them in there judgmental n gossiping world without distrubing them and set myself free n focus on myself to be a better person

    • @_the_little_mermaid_
      @_the_little_mermaid_ Před 2 lety

      @@ChasingSunshineWithMe1612 what happens when your new “friends” mess with your style choices? Recently I went from brunette to redhead and this guy friend told me in a rather unkind way “why did you dye your hair?! Everyone in the group was surprised for the worst when you appeared. I liked better how you looked before”, I was clearly giving him all the hints that I was pissed by the way he was talking to me but he kept insisting me to give him like a fucking reason or something, I felt so uncomfortable and self-conscious because I love my red hair and I’ve always been told that I look great.
      The thing is I was so comfortable with this new group of friends but after that comment I feel like they’ve been criticizing me behind my back and they think I’m ridiculous for my style or whatever because apparently I needed to “ask for their permission” to change my hair. What would you do? Do I need to let it slide so they don’t think I’m dramatic? Also, I don’t think I’m equally comfortable as before now that I know they hate the way my hair looks, kinda makes me want to avoid them. What would you do?

    • @Soso-ce4op
      @Soso-ce4op Před 2 lety

      @@_the_little_mermaid_ if you feel that they have been criticizing you behind your back. Is say distance yourself from that friend group because those aren’t real friends

    • @_the_little_mermaid_
      @_the_little_mermaid_ Před 2 lety

      @@Soso-ce4op thank you for the advice. I stopped talking to them. But now a lot of people go around calling me the names they call me. How do you make someone to stop calling you those degrading silly names? I fucking hate it but I don't know what to do to make it stop.

    • @Soso-ce4op
      @Soso-ce4op Před 2 lety +1

      @@_the_little_mermaid_ honestly just ignore them and act like you don’t care and that it doesn’t bother you. It may be hard to do but don’t worry about what they have to say because people are always gonna say something good or bad. Keep continuing to be you and your authentic self because those people’s opinions won’t matter because they don’t actually know you so their assumptions are most likely false. If you want any more tips and advice I recommend you watch love your natural on CZcams she made a video about this and she explains it really good. And idk if you believe in God but if you do try praying about it I’m very sure he can help you.

  • @JeongWonTVobabo0813
    @JeongWonTVobabo0813 Před 3 lety +257

    i really need this... doing youtube is very stressful .. especially my channel.. i will not care about them!

    • @missamal05
      @missamal05 Před 3 lety +7

      Your doing great dont give up!!

    • @nancyroche3980
      @nancyroche3980 Před 3 lety +15

      I wish you luck growing on CZcams is a bit challenging but I say its just more about enjoying the journey. I see it as a hobby that will eventually grow . keep your head up :)

    • @sun-jay5819
      @sun-jay5819 Před 3 lety +5

      You have got pretty good amount of subs so chill on and keep doing your work and see me with 137 subs lol, but ik I'm gonna do this cause I want it!

    • @AnnaKaiye
      @AnnaKaiye Před 3 lety +2

      You're doing awesome. You've only been uploading for 8 months and are doing a great job :)

    • @annelately
      @annelately Před 3 lety

      You got this🤗 honestly i felt the same way the past few days about this platform but keep doing you 🙌🏼🤍

  • @ArianaReflects
    @ArianaReflects Před 3 lety +70

    It’s funny how we care about what others think but everyone else is also doing the same... so it’s like other people are too busy to judge you because they are worried about what people think of them! We all do this to some degree!😬😅

    • @Olivia-ep5mi
      @Olivia-ep5mi Před 3 lety +3

      Ariana Reflects honestly how true...thanks

    • @BrunaClaas
      @BrunaClaas Před 3 lety +10

      That is exactly right! My therapists said the exact same thing to me one time. You are so worried about what others think of you, but everyone is just thinking of what other are thinking of them. Everyone is so self-focused, we don't even realize!

    • @ArianaReflects
      @ArianaReflects Před 3 lety +2

      ❤️😊take care friends ✨

  • @NicoleKoch
    @NicoleKoch Před 3 lety +56

    Who’s the lucky person who gets to spend time with Lana filming her b-roll footage? I would apply for that job just to hang out with her 😂💕

  • @Diaryofz
    @Diaryofz Před 3 lety +90

    You really have turned into my therapist ❤️💗✨

  • @benmacmillan1323
    @benmacmillan1323 Před 3 lety +6

    I really love the idea of not caring what other people think, but it's incredibly difficult to actually do

  • @francesdiary4150
    @francesdiary4150 Před 3 lety +8

    I strongly agree! Too much caring about what other people think about me will lead me to nowhere as it will create a boundary between who I am not and who I really am. I will live in hypocrisy all the time and its not healthy for my mental health. Thanks for this Lana!

  • @sumitsinghstories
    @sumitsinghstories Před 3 lety +5

    Well said. Reminds me of the serenity prayer. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

  • @drivenbygrowth7924
    @drivenbygrowth7924 Před 3 lety +11

    Whats crazy is I wanted to start a youtube channel for 8 yrs but I kept getting held back by what others thought. Last year was when I decided to go after it and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made ! You want to do something , start NOW . Action eliminates doubt.

  • @kirstenmagdalena9310
    @kirstenmagdalena9310 Před 3 lety +5

    People, children especially, can be so cruel. Kindness is such a beautiful trait.

  • @bertha811
    @bertha811 Před 3 lety +32

    Petition for Lana to release a book. Would love to read it

  • @nehainthebay
    @nehainthebay Před 3 lety +44

    So true about self-awareness being the key. If we are sure of who we are and what we want, it wouldn't matter what others say. I am always amazed when people are able to make choices and live by them irrespective of most of the world criticizing them for it. Thanks for this pertinent video.

    • @nehainthebay
      @nehainthebay Před 3 lety

      @@_maxfreedom so well said.
      It took me decades to even recognize that pleasing everyone else is not just futile but impossible. 😏

  • @hadjerd6583
    @hadjerd6583 Před rokem +5

    "The less i care and judge the others, the less i worry about others caring and judging me" true

  • @VerenaSatriani
    @VerenaSatriani Před 3 lety +12

    People always have their own perspectives, no matter what we do they have their own opinion. I love the way Lana refuses to care of what people think. Thank you Lana, and have a great day everyone.

  • @vhyleung
    @vhyleung Před 3 lety +23

    It's such a simple and obvious thing yet something we all forget to do. It affects every aspect of our daily life and interactions with others -- Self-love above all, and not always doing things with a mindset of what others might think. Thanks for reminding me about this. (:

  • @afroreports3619
    @afroreports3619 Před 3 lety +19

    I just stumbled across Lana's channel and to be honest, am humbled and feel home right now. Besides her humbleness, her personality in her videos is incomparable.
    I have fallen a victim to this comparison thing but after watching this channel, my perspective has really changed. I am no longer going to care anymore.
    By the way, am I the only guy on here?!!

  • @sarahconnor13
    @sarahconnor13 Před rokem +3

    my general rule is that if I don't care about a person, I'm not going to give a damn about what they think about me. basically, if you know your own morals and you know you're a good person, do whatever the hell you like.

  • @anattynook
    @anattynook Před 3 lety +6

    Ah you hit the nail on the head again with this topic! Being self-aware of your own values in order to discern whether we should care about what people say is truly a superpower. Thank you for sharing your wisdom once again

  • @olgacotaga13
    @olgacotaga13 Před 3 lety +4

    How funny. The other day I had written this exact same thing in my little pocket notepad - don’t let striving to always be liked prevent you from standing up for yourself. Many times I have not said what I thought for fear of not pleasing. This makes things worse because I resent myself but then also resent others , which then turns into a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. 🥰

  • @SanjaySkar
    @SanjaySkar Před 3 lety +10

    Thank you Lana for sharing this. This is so relatable. I remember the time I used to try my best to please everyone around me. Growing up, I thought that is the right thing to do. It took a long while to understand that it is impossible to do that without sacrificing my boundaries and I was really late to understand the negative impact it had in my life; how much the validation of other people affected my decision making. Now I try my best to show my boundaries to people in my life, no matter what... I do care about what people say, but now I try to filter them and check if there is something in it. And I think that practice helped me to be myself and what I should follow in life...

  • @AlexandraBoadu
    @AlexandraBoadu Před 3 lety +6

    I really love the way you did the intro! How human minds work, we overthink too much for no apparent reasons and it’s not a great feeling

  • @a.t.8980
    @a.t.8980 Před 3 lety +3

    After going through a breakup, I truly was a mess. I lost security in myself, I was insecure, I was hurt. But your videos help me so much in rebuilding myself and I wanted to thank you for that. You are an amazing person and I can learn a lot from you.
    I feel like this is the video that is going to push me to finally be back at 100%
    Once again, thank you.

  • @dandibambi
    @dandibambi Před 3 lety +62

    The fear of what we can’t control can overwhelm and take over our mindset if we let it! It can stunt creativity and self growth and I’m trying to adopt a better attitude at least for my own content here on YT so I can better enjoy my process :) You’re amazing as always Lana!!

  • @vramanu07
    @vramanu07 Před 3 lety +1

    You always come up with a good message, keep going. It took me years to learn to accept myself. It's good to see you spreading good messages to other souls who are in sufferings and dilemma.

  • @NIXICreator
    @NIXICreator Před 3 lety +3

    I totally agree with you. When we focus on what others think about us and judge us, we start to judge others. And got scared to get judged by others and timid for nothing big. that is a very toxic cycle. But, when we use that energy for something productive for ourselves, I guess that is helpful for what we wanna achieve in our lives.

  • @PlayInC_
    @PlayInC_ Před 3 lety +46

    when i do awareness who the most important one in my life!, who the most i spend my life time with !, so i go after what i wants !

  • @whitecornelia12
    @whitecornelia12 Před rokem +4

    The last part ❤ “The less I care and judge others, the less I worry about others caring and judging me. And the more I focus that energy on myself, on trying to be as good of a person as I can be and having pure intentions with everything that i do, the more unbothered I am. “

  • @daisyhuangvuelvas6089
    @daisyhuangvuelvas6089 Před 3 lety +1

    I used to spend all the time thinking about what people said or think about me. Either what I wore or how I acted and over time I learned that if you live for people you lose yourself and you simply stop living for yourself and do it for others. Thanks Lana for this video

  • @laurenduncan1655
    @laurenduncan1655 Před 2 lety

    love that you made a point of encouraging balance between caring what your loved ones think and not caring what strangers think

  • @AnaLu07
    @AnaLu07 Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you so much for this video. I'm still young and this past year i developed a lot of self knowledge, i know much more about myself, who i wanna be and what life i wanna live. But, i still struggle very much about what others think.
    You inspire me very much to be more myself!!Thank you for your videos.

  • @GirlieWestphalenV
    @GirlieWestphalenV Před 3 lety +3

    Great advice! Been practicing this to myself. I don't really care about what people think. If they judge me, it's ok. This is me and who I am, I will do what makes me happy. 🥰

  • @PHDinMeTV
    @PHDinMeTV Před 3 lety +6

    Defining ones values are key 🔑 to how one responds to the words and actions of others 🌸

  • @nalamthembu5151
    @nalamthembu5151 Před 3 lety +22

    My parents basically taught me that not caring would be my downfall.
    Yea...

    • @naveena5831
      @naveena5831 Před 3 lety +4

      Yes. It is ALWAYS about what other people think of you. My parents always tell me things like: „don’t do this...don’t do that...the people are gonna think you’re....“. And i realized how insecure this made me over the years. I always think about what other people think even for the smallest things. I have zero confidence and just wanna be at home. And my parents have the audacity to ask me why i don’t have the confidence to do sth in front of other people.

    • @nalamthembu5151
      @nalamthembu5151 Před 3 lety +2

      Why is it so hard to talk to them about this?
      It's quite ridiculous and so unnecessary in my opinion, almost in a cruel and unusual manner.

    • @naveena5831
      @naveena5831 Před 3 lety +1

      I think they will never understand how it feels to be under this constant pressure. If i have children one day i will do anything so they don’t have to feel what i feel now

    • @nalamthembu5151
      @nalamthembu5151 Před 3 lety +1

      Tbh I'd much rather be six feet under than give them the gift of grand children. I will repay my parents with material goods instead of love, just as they did me.

  • @JackieEm
    @JackieEm Před 3 lety +4

    I needed this because for so long I wanted to please everyone. But I know that leads to a stressful, anxious life.. learning to break away from this and build boundaries:)

  • @anastasiavishnevscaia1259

    Thank you for your videos, you are very grounding and you are making my thoughts a bit organized.
    I'm very grateful for you being here and making those kind of videos.
    A big Hi to you from Moldova.

  • @buenopaula
    @buenopaula Před 3 lety

    thank you lana for doing a video on this topic and advising us so wisely!!! this video just came in the perfect moment since i’m trying to change that aspect of myself. thanks for being such a good communicator and putting in words/describing those feelings and thoughts so well :)

  • @Rossie123able
    @Rossie123able Před 3 lety +1

    Your honesty and authenticity are so refreshing. Thank you for this reminder

  • @SaraFaberDraws
    @SaraFaberDraws Před 3 lety +45

    HOW have I just found you now? Love your videos a lot! *subscribed* ☺️💕

  • @theonlinefam6227
    @theonlinefam6227 Před 3 lety +16

    Yes. We can see what others think but shouldn't let that affect who we are ❤️.
    Great video 👌

  • @moderndollclub
    @moderndollclub Před 3 lety +2

    That’s so true, I recently realized that the reason why I’m so afraid that people will judge me is because I am a really judgemental person, even though I never express my opinion to anyone. I wish someday I can become confident enough to be as unbothered as you, the fear of not being liked or being judge has stopped me from doing so many things and meeting so many people, my insecurities have reached a point when I don’t ever express my true feelings to my loved ones about something that’s bothering me because I am afraid they are gonna think I’m being rude and leave, so I'm always feeling anxious and self conscious. Anyway, that was so inspiring to watch. Thanks. Always great life lessons :)

  • @devinwebb0
    @devinwebb0 Před 3 lety +2

    Being an introvert and feeling alone in a room full of people always feeling left out. I've always had this thought in my head people thinking I'm a weirdo and a loser. I was handed a book called the four agreements in rehab and I brought that book with me everywhere. For a few months this book did wonders. But those thoughts have crept up on me recently and this video has helped truly. Thank you.

  • @Dana_chay
    @Dana_chay Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you so much for this video. The last advice really hit me to my heart, it made everything clearer to me and I really do not care about what they say now.

  • @ZoeCayetano22
    @ZoeCayetano22 Před 3 lety +3

    "some helpful q's to ask yourself..
    - What is the nature of the relationship?
    - What is the intention of the person?
    - What authority do they have?

  • @AmandaWeldon
    @AmandaWeldon Před 3 lety +2

    I love the concept of -- it makes sense they don't like me if they are the kind of person who comes online to hurt others, because I'm nothing like that. I have thought a lot about this concept before but never from that angle. That really helped me. Today I released a video that was really vulnerable and I was immediately full of anxieties about being so open. But this video has helped me see that I have control over those emotions. Perspective is everything. Thanks for the much needed message today Lana.

  • @mevu3986
    @mevu3986 Před 3 lety +1

    thank you so much for this Lana! i was just having a mini anxiety attack because i was fearful of what people thought of me. this video really helped me stabilize my perspective. and thanks so much too for the tip at the end! i do feel like the major reason why i think people are judging me is because i secretly judge others as well. i'm trying to learn to remove this mental habit. thank you! ❤️

  • @AllThingsAlexa
    @AllThingsAlexa Před 3 lety +3

    Wow this is so good! And so so important. You are so inspiring and so good at articulating your messages! I struggle with that.
    I feel so much better when I focus on myself and not worry about silly opinions.
    I love the idea of writing out my values! I think I know them but writing them out and reflecting on them I think will really help💛

  • @urushaaa6473
    @urushaaa6473 Před 3 lety +3

    I started to re-watch your videos again and I have completed watching them all again.. I just want to say thank you..
    Thank you so much. You make me feel so good. You have become my free therapist and I feel calm and happy these days..
    And yes I wanna see your new video and puppy again.. Because I have already rewatched all videos again..
    ILY 😇💙

  • @leesoo-yeon9933
    @leesoo-yeon9933 Před rokem

    I truly love your mindset, your way of thinking is honestly making most of those messy life situations alot easier to be solved. Thank you for this and all the other videos you uploaded in this channel ♡

  • @markwolfe947
    @markwolfe947 Před 3 lety

    Thank you for this, I am learning to say sorry less often and I said sorry even if I did a positive action or helped someone. I have anxiety(generally) makes me second and triple at the minimum all of my actions and words. It was worse when I was younger and I have issues now but getting better. Your content has shown me I wasn’t the odd ball and things in my control are what I should aim to direct.

  • @fromaudreykao
    @fromaudreykao Před 3 lety +4

    always struck by your wisdom and eloquence, lana
    thank you for sharing and for encouraging us to dig deeper 💕

  • @ishank67
    @ishank67 Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you for this video !! Currently what m going through, this video came like a small leap of hope ! THANK YOU !

  • @fiddlesticks6146
    @fiddlesticks6146 Před 3 lety +2

    you have no idea how much i needed this video, thank you so much

  • @divyabhagat8815
    @divyabhagat8815 Před 2 lety +2

    Hie!! I had been watched your 2-3 videos as it popup on recommendation and relly I'm getting addicted to you ♥️your voice your thoughts your calmness there is lots of thing to learn from you thank you ❣️

  • @poohthewinnie7396
    @poohthewinnie7396 Před 3 lety +9

    this came at such a perfect time it's scary... i just meditated and journaled about it last night!

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  Před 3 lety +5

      Haha! The whole reason I knew I wanted to talk about this was because I was journaling about it :)

  • @emmanuelagudo4918
    @emmanuelagudo4918 Před 3 lety +3

    Something about a girl that fills you up with confidence. All the scammers of all kinds, have it all wrong. Thank you Lana!

  • @saqibetsultanli
    @saqibetsultanli Před rokem +1

    Your voice, your words giving peace to me, thank you Lana for being here with us ❤️

  • @eleanorffitness
    @eleanorffitness Před 3 lety +2

    you make me feel ready to be myself! that's what we need

  • @begumkul6415
    @begumkul6415 Před 3 lety +4

    I honestly don’t know how you can always post a video about what I’m struggling with that week/month. It’s crazy!! Love you

  • @Night-Sight
    @Night-Sight Před 3 lety +6

    Your channel is growing so fast, almost half a million already, you totally deserve it. I remember the days you only had a few thousand subs.

  • @akshitamajumder4789
    @akshitamajumder4789 Před 3 lety +2

    your content is awakening a part of me I was never acquainted with. 🖤

  • @uzwinzfan
    @uzwinzfan Před 2 lety

    I'm still working on accepting myself rather than constantly trying to change it to what I think is 'better'. I really hope I reach a point in my life where I fully accept who I am and not constantly fight against it or think negatively of it because it truly is exhausting, pretending to be something you are not. Thank you for your advice, it has been really helpful ❤

  • @oyster_007
    @oyster_007 Před 2 lety +4

    I could listen to you for a whole day straight without getting tired 🍃

  • @mariav.b.xavier498
    @mariav.b.xavier498 Před 3 lety +4

    THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!
    Thank you, Lana, for being who you are and giving the world the wonders you give!🥰🤩
    Greetings and loads of love from Portugal!❤

  • @Nadia-os2lu
    @Nadia-os2lu Před 3 lety +2

    Thoughtful content and beautiful cinematography. I like how you addressed the complexity of caring what others think (it's not always black and white) and I couldn't agree more about the importance of self awareness and knowing your values.

  • @luanamedeirosdefarias8918

    Your channel make me feel so much better about my toughts. Thank you.

  • @fatherlucid4995
    @fatherlucid4995 Před 3 lety +4

    I’m going to be honest. I’ve lost all hope for my life. I’ve come to the end of it all in this psychological torment. I’m tired.. tired of living in eternal torment. This is not a mindset for me that can be tweaked or altered. It’s a condition and it lives with me wherever I go. Like I’m being haunted. Honestly I’ve tried everything to better myself health wise and mentally but it only tightens it’s grip around me harder and harder every day. I can’t live like this anymore. The eyes peering through my soul can’t be deflected. All I feel is shame when I’m pierced by the eyes all around me closing in on me. People will never get to know me because I’m hidden somewhere inside of my psyche. Hidden because of the fear that has taken its foothold over me. All I am is a shadow of a person. In many ways I’m already dead because I don’t know how to live.

    • @jojoshaokipts6023
      @jojoshaokipts6023 Před 3 lety +3

      Ur so strong, ull overcome it step by step, keep going , dear ❤😘

    • @airari24
      @airari24 Před 3 lety +1

      I'm not in that space right now but I have been many times for the past 6 years. All I can say is, sometimes we have to live and do enriching things even if we dont know what we're doing, even if we feel like it is pointless or all we can feel is pain and despair. Like, there's points where you reach the bottom and all you can really do is try to crawl from the 2nd to last floor, and then the 3rd, until you reach a level where maybe you're not happy like we want to be, but life is bearable to some extent and you have some things in this world you are invested/attached to (it can be people, goals, or simply life values that you want to carry out in your time on this earth). Ig you dont try to at least crawl or limp yo a higher level (mentally/physically/spiritually), then things truly will not get better, and we dont want that for ourselves. We want to find reasons to live and not feel pain. You want to live and not feel pain. Even if you're not sure about how much hope there is for you, you have to hold on to your desire to move on from this pit and find a more stable, more bearable life.
      Are there specific areas that cause you the most anguish? If so, you can start working from there. If it is self esteem, you can go to therapy, or do self care/goal-achieving things that make you the type of person YOU want to be.
      Sorry for the length of the message, but multiple internet strangers care for you, and I hope one day you care for yourself more, as well

    • @zoelivingston3446
      @zoelivingston3446 Před 3 lety

      🌸🌻🥀

  • @sav9212
    @sav9212 Před 3 lety +10

    Recently, I’ve been trying to get into this mindset as well. And I can tell you how much happier I’ve gotten since then, I felt free of opinions or judgment and it made me confident of myself even more. I love everything you covered!
    I’ll definitely be missing this room that you record in, but I’m really excited for your future plans :))

  • @yashmeetkaur7769
    @yashmeetkaur7769 Před 3 lety +1

    Dear Lana
    I agree with each and every sentence you spoke in the video since I am realising all of these things as I am growing up and evolving.
    I have seen your video for the first time but I must say it's so true!
    Thanks for this video ❤️

  • @hopemckellar4524
    @hopemckellar4524 Před 3 lety +1

    This editing is amazing 👏🏼 thank you for this Lana

  • @sneeapril2175
    @sneeapril2175 Před 3 lety +3

    This is the calmest channel I have ever come through...

  • @CristinaV.Quinones
    @CristinaV.Quinones Před 3 lety +4

    This energy is everything 🙌

  • @DanDoesGame
    @DanDoesGame Před 3 lety +1

    I dont comment much. But I really wanted to say thank you for the motivation you provide. There are times in life when its needed and there are a few channels I always go back to when I need it. Yours is one of them. Keep up the great work

  • @rossb7899
    @rossb7899 Před 6 měsíci +1

    This really brightened up my day. What a fantastic video. Great advice, great outlook, and your voice is actually very relaxing to listen to. Thank you so much.

  • @launchpadmcquack4971
    @launchpadmcquack4971 Před 3 lety +3

    Bravo Ms. Blakely,
    Excellent video. I’m guilty of putting too much emphasis on the opinions of others. So much so I stopped being myself for years. Trying to correct what I perceived as “flaws.” I suddenly stopped giving a shit (responsibly) and was much happier and productive.

  • @p.2351
    @p.2351 Před 2 lety +3

    you are such an inspiration to me, absolutely love your channel

  • @g.c955
    @g.c955 Před 3 lety +2

    The funny thing is that this fear of judgement is often not even “what others think”, but “what I think others think”.
    When I was younger and training for the 100-metre dash, my coach gave me a feedback. He said that, “You need to focus your lane and the goal, stop peeking other lanes to see how others are doing”
    This not exactly the same as “caring for what others think”, but I think the advice still applies here, which is about focusing on being your true self and achieve your goals, while not getting distracted by others.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  Před 3 lety +1

      yes! it is true that it's usually "what I think others think" :-)

    • @g.c955
      @g.c955 Před 3 lety

      @@LanaBlakely Some people project their negativity towards you through criticism, because they want to feel better by putting you down.
      CZcamsrs get hate comments no matter what they do and it can sometimes be quite paralysing. So, I think another part of the fear is in dealing with the negative criticisms and downright personal attacks.
      This is why I like the content here. You try to help people deal with difficult things that can come up in life. Thank you :D

  • @browndusts_
    @browndusts_ Před 3 lety +2

    such a really wonderful message Lana! thankyou soo much! this is exactly what im struggle with my whole life and im still trying to get rid of that. also hope you all that are having the same problem as me will soon find your own values