Finding Love in the Modern Dating Culture (with Nathaniel Drew)
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
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Check out the video we did for Nathaniel's channel: • Why Relationships Are ...
We also recorded an episode for his podcast: • Lana Blakely: How to N...
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction
00:13 - Mental health
02:04 - Defining ‘being in love’
06:50 - What we look for in love
08:47 - Pickiness
14:15 - Looking at your dating history
15:25 - Vulnerability vs. privacy as a creator
17:45 - The mystery of finding love
19:36 - The challenge of modern dating
22:40 - Living with regrets
27:30 - Being a loner
33:55 - Making friends as an adult
35:55 - Reading peoples energies
42:48 - Maintaining friendships
46:16 - 3 tips for finding friends
57:20 - What would ND like to be remembered by?
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Hi Lana you're Such a most beeauuutiiifuuuul youtuber🌷💖💞 Love thissss💞 Luv❤❤❤🖎📲
Women will not be able to stop my intention to 🙏👌🌍
I've been following you for three years now Lana. I'm really proud of how you are growing up in the world and the person who you have become. It looks like you found a friend who shares a lot of how you feel about life. I also want to say that I'm happy to see Sweden and Finland join the alliance of NATO. Together our countries can work to keep Europe free from authoritarian dictators from brutality taking territory that doesn't belong to them by force. But that's another video.. otherwise you're a good woman who makes a difference in our lives.
Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel. John 1:49
Nathaniel:
Nathaniel Meaning: GOD HAS GIVEN. Nathaniel, a Hebrew boy's name, means "God has given." This name features in the Old and New Testaments of the Christian bible, as well as the Jewish bible, where it's spelled as Nathanael. Nathaniel comes from the words natan, to give, and el, which is used to refer to god.
...Because sometimes existing is exhausting.
Lana should definitely have a podcast. She is ridiculously great at conversations and her insight is spectacular.
She already has one
She has one but she stopped for some reason.
I hope she brings it back at some point. I’m sure it’s a lot of extra work but even if it’s irregular or monthly I feel like her content works well in a podcast style
Lana did you think of prior questions to ask or were they just coming up on the fly?
but doesn't it feel more like an interview rather than a conversation ?
This is lowkey my ideal date, genuine open conversation in a park. No cameras and mics are necessary but just because they’re there doesn’t mean the thoughts shared in this video were not genuine! I’m so stoked you guys had this conversation, I learned a lot. Here’s to hopefully more content with type of form
This is your ideal date? Well... what is stoping you from planning one. I mean... why you tell us, go and do.
@@JoostEurovisionFans why being so passive agressive my gosh
@@zobeats7681 Because I have met many men like this who DREAM and FANTASISE about a date like this, but never TRY.
I feel bad for them. My colleague from work is one of these type of guys. He notices a new girl and start confessing his feelings and dreams to ALL COLLEAGUES except her. Weeks go by and then the new girl is told, he has a mad crush on her. Obviously, its not gonna work out. So, the guy finds out and is sad again and tells everybody he has a broken heart. Then a new girl arrives at our work place..... The guy:
@@zobeats7681its not passive agressive at all, that person is just tryna motivate the original comment to go at what they want 😌
You two seem like you can have such an easy conversation, like it just flows naturally without having to try and it’s nice to see
maybe i'm bad at reading body language but I think the exact opposite
Lana for sure.. she was being polite. He didn’t let her talk about herself. He was as quick to make about himself. Go watch again.
Lana Blakely and Nathaniel Drew are one of the best at giving great advices. We wish them further success.
I like how you demonstrate that men and women can have genuine deep conversations like this without there being any further intentions. My friend group is both men and women and we talk about everything with eachother. Some people who don't really know us are like "Is this person crushing on that person"...blah, blah, blah. Nope. We've all been friends for over 10 years and we all just get along well and have grown with eachother over the years. Not everything is romantic between men and women. We all benefit from platonic friendships with men, women, different backgrounds and perspectives.
sounds like an amazing friendship group - no alterior motives, just sharing value
@@sairahgonzalez thanks, we're family to eachother.
no theres not he would fk her if she allowed him too, he is denying his own masculinity i would not take anything related to dating from him srsly
You think this guy is relating to her just to have a friendship??! Hahhaah! Sorry - it would be nice to think that, but based on just the thumbnail alone, it looks like she's dating him already!! Unfortunately, that's just the way it works - I can't imagine how a drop-dead gorgeous girl like Lana has even been able to stay single for *this* long.
But if you haven't already, see the movie "When Harry Met Sally," if for no other reason, then for the "I'll have what *she's* having!" line alone. The movie totally speaks the truth, for better or worse. 😉
@@larkefedifero I've watched Nathaniel's videos for a while and he's like this with all his guests. The thumbnail you're describing is called marketing. They want to make it look "romantic" in order to draw interest from viewers.
Don't take advice about men/women relationships from movies or media. Learn from real life experiences since everyone is different.
You guys are such INFJs wow, I relate to a lot of this. The looking for something deeper than most people thing is real...
yeah i noticed that a lot from them, as an INFj mostly I'm relate to what Nathaniel said
Lana seems more like INFP because she’s been in love many times but not in a relationship.
Infp and j struggle with this.
So I can totally relate to her and I’m an infp but I have yet to find anyone who wants or can give me the type of deep love that I want.
I want a strong deeper connection and people can be very superficial especially in the beginning. I love having conversations like this on a first date😂
Oh he's an INFJ? I was wondering.. I watched some of his videos in the past and I get 'good person' and 'kind heart' vibes from him which is rare that I get that from guys.. so I assumed he's INFJ. Cool!
@@thehappyproject7117 I feel that since most of her videos are about giving life advice and psychology, these things are the interests of most INFJs. However, INFPs are more interested in creating art or film being highly creative in story telling through their videos. Lana's videos are more of life lessons than creating stories with imaginative characters and eye-catching visual art.
I had gotten a bit of NFP vibes from Nathan in his explorative thirsts and entrepreneurship.
Could his breathtaking film, always wanting to improve, be INFJ? Aspiring to develop Se with Ni meaning? That is plausible.
As INFJ I desire to do that but seldom do, survival has been more of the focus, so maybe he just had a more grounded childhood that gave him confidence and resources earlier on.
I love your chemistry together! If you two had a podcast, I'd definitely listen to it.
Thank you :) x
@@LanaBlakely cute couple. Date him
@Naveen-iu7ej It does look like she likes him, she was flirty with him 😂😂😂
@@Naveen-iu7ej Yall are weirdos
@@linal3489 Yall truly don't know what it mean to have a genuine connection with someone of the opposite sex without it being romantic and it shows. She wants flirting like do you want her to have a straight face and not be nice to show that she isn't flirting like yall need to go outside and touch grass.
Hard not to be mesmerized seeing Lana in person I imagine, glad to see two of my favorite CZcamsrs sharing a video!
I can tell you two are both pretty one of a kind people, which is part of the reason this conversation flowed so well and is so genuine. I also think that with dating and love it might take some time to find someone who is also one of a kind. Something I tell myself is I need to find someone who is the same kind of “special” as me (which is one of the reasons why I am picky and it’s hard for me to find people I’m romantically interested in) because you don’t stumble upon a super special person every day, or in other words someone who “matches”you. hope that made sense, great convo and video!
That totally made sense! I wasn’t consciously doing that earlier and I used to think that maybe there is something wrong with me that I am just being too picky and it is not serving me at all. I recently realised what you are saying and it all totally makes sense now❤ Glad to hear I am not wrong and also not alone
I think I would just freak out seeing these two together in person, because they are two of my favorite people to watch and listen.
Jeeeeesus christ guys, I didn't expect this collab. Lots of love
Thanks for taking us on this date with you. You kept me company while I worked on a very tedious layout! ❤
Seems like he is describing Lana the type of the person he is looking for!😅
Awesome advice, Lana! Mental health is so important, but often overlooked, for a healthy, happy life. Keep up the great work!
The collab I didn’t expect and love!🙈 So insightful!
It was a really wonderful conversation.
As a podcaster, I remember having one of my early conversations in the same style sitting in a park, with one of my favorite creators and having a conversation I wanted to had and made it into a podcast episode..
But this one had a a lot of insights on dating and how not to pick the wrong ones. Lana is really thoughtful about her questions and where she wanted to navigate the conversation.
Loved the energy between Lana and Nathaniel! Cheers!
This was quite interesting to listen too. As I am in that phase of my life, where its only this year that I am been bolder and intentional, to not only ask people out but also see those that I find interesting to just connect with. And also cultivate existing friendships and notice those that cares too. And of course this conversations leads right into the next step of "adulthood" as I just graduated.
So its something I am reflecting upon for how to make deeper connections with other people. And also, the part about not having to "weekly hangout" with friends, but you still have this unique present momentness when you meet different friends throughout the world. Thank you for recording this down to earth kind of conversation :) Nathanial and Lana!
The chemistry between them! i ship them together tbh hmm :)
I really like your calm energy, Lana! ☺️ Would like to see this interview/conversation style videos more often! :)
Love the format, watched Nathaniel's podcast today as well and watching you two discuss topics such as finding love and loneliness was insightful and a delight, the colab I didn't know I needed but appreciate!
I appreciate how you left so much unedited stuff in there. Even the cheesy motorcycle guy lol. It definitely felt more genuine because of that.
Hey Lana, I'm just watching your video and I just wanna say 1. love your guy's vibe together and 2. am SO happy that you mentioned at 40:36 that your ability to read people didn't work properly at that time - I resonate with that so much, because I myself have a very good knowledge about people and quiet good gut instinct, and still that feeling failed in the past (which was very disappointing for me as well) and I started to question myself. But just like you said: It teaches us something that is maybe far more important than just to be always 'right' - for example being patient with people and giving it time. Thank you so much! And wish you all the good there is for the future!
Oh my gosh the vibes in this video are IMMACULATE!! the birds chirping in the background, you two talking about a very interesting and relevant topic that we deal with on a daily basis - this makes me ache for summer again ☺️🌿☀️🌾
Two legends in one place!!!!! Lana and Nate!!! Happy Sunday everyone, peace and love.
Wow this is awesomee, i love you guys both! Gonna watch and listen to substantial thoughts now
two of my favourite youtubers talking about the topics I’m most interested in. I didn’t know I need this 😭💖
Two of my favourite youtubers in a single video giving great advice! thank you both!
The place, the bench, the conversation, it all feels nice and I appreciated that this was uncut. At least I didn't notice any cuts which makes it spontaneous and natural as it is.
I feel like I just witnessed a date. :)
I only cut out one or two distractions. Wanted to keep it natural. I'm glad you liked that :)
@@LanaBlakely Keep it up Lana :)
I have the theory most people nowadays are not really in love, they are just having fun and are physically attracted to each other, but I feel like real human love is very rare these days
I love that you didn't cut the moments when you were talking about the motorbike or when you were wondering if the camera was filming it makes the conversation feels very honnest and raw
This's one of the pure videos I've ever seen in CZcams and from both of you. Thanks for sharing thoughts in your head.
I loved this conversation. You’re such a good interviewer Lana! And props to Nathaniel for being so open 🙌🏼
Nathaniel, I agree so much with you on this one! I always listened to what other people told me was right when it came to falling for someone, until I realised that I needed something else. After I started working on my mental health I found this deep interest in going on adventures, trying new things, learning more about myself and understand humans better, and I have needed someone in my life that are willing to take those risks of doing something different. I want to wait with the routines until I am older, now that I am young I want to experience every day with a little bit of adventure. And I noticed that I need someone in my life that feel the same, this urge to go into the world viewing it as a place to experience and grow.
I first thought I was picky, but then it hit me that there is a difference between having friends and a partner. A partner should match your energy, values and needs, and it is okay to wait until you find someone that does.
Lana your videos are as always too too helpful to me in my life✨❤️
This was such a beautiful conversation. We need more of this!
Wonderful conversation! Love, life, circumstances, inferences, self love and much more. Explored so many aspects of life. Smooth and rich with experiences and deep thoughts. A conversation between two curious humans wanting to know more about life. Thank you Lana and Nathaniel. Life needs to be discovered more and more and more …..
Am I the only one that ships them? I can see some chemistry there!
I am 40 and I can sit down and have a conversation just like this & its amazing to hear you'll chat like this! Very wholistic and lovely! We all have these topics in our chats & its nice to see how matured you'll are at your ages! Love it!!
The chemistry between these 2 is relationship goals
This is such a beautiful conversation. Thank you for sharing 🩷
I love this interview. ❤️ This is a very interesting, down-to-earth, honest conversation between you, Lana and Nathaniel Drew. You just give me a belated birthday present 🎉🎁 . What makes me sad is that I will likely never see you, Lana in real life even if I travel more frequently in the future. It's very unlikely that most of us will ever see you anyway. 😢 😭 Also, I feel a bit sad (not envious) when I see you with your loved ones. This feeling gives me a feeling that I should connect more with people and say "Yes" more. As far as relationships I would say that I never experienced the love I wanted. One girl rejected me because she was closed off and felt safe next to her girlfriend. Another girl already had a boyfriend. Other connections are abandoned or short-lasting due to lack of time. Everyone minds their business. In this interview you both give me some kind of consolation that it's not too late to start the life over and experience the things we want to experience.
In spite of the challenges we all face, I hope you, Lana will soon get to see and live in your new lovely, more spacious apartment or home. 🏡 Thank you so much for having a positive influence on me and everyone else watching. I will love you Lana forever ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!!!!
That was a LIT! Thanku Lana Blakely and Nathaniel Drew... Y'all were amazing hereee!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
As someone who’s always felt like she was “Searching” getting really clear on what you want and don’t want can help in identifying a good match. It’s less about being picky and more about being clear-focused and knowing your deal breakers so decisions later down the road are easier to make. It just so happens that choosing a partner feels like the hardest choice in the world!
Hey Lana! I missed you a lot and I hope you have a lovely summer. ❤
This is such a wholesome conversation. The uncut format, the deep topics, the chemistry between you guys. This was so real and I hope there is more of this and I hope everyone here gets to have more conversations like this with more people in their lives. This was amazing! Talking about regrets.. mine would be not meeting you guys one day 😂 Thank you Lana!
In my opinion Nathaniel is very mature in his perspective of the concept of love and comes from a deep knowing. An old soul, if you want to go that route.
We are not all in the same place on this journey of grasping the complexities of experience.
Major kudos to Nathaniel for approaching the subject this way, giving it so much depth.
I can completely relate to Nathaniel about feeling and thinking deeply about life. I would much rather be around people who feel deeply, who are curious about life and existence, who are invested in their growth. I can’t do the surface level stuff. I also relate to the loner stuff too so it was nice to see someone who feels the same way as me, especially since I don’t see many people talking about it. Lana you were right about the fact that Nathaniel made deep connections within 4 years providing hope to us - it definitely does for me :) this was a great video!
This was such an excellent conversation. I resonate with a lot of Nathaniel's perspectives which was refreshing to hear
I can relate to what Nathaniel is saying about the pickiness. I’m the same way. I also have a deep curiosity about life and it’s hard to find people that think at this level. I got married to my now husband and I’m so physically attracted to him. He is fun and chill but too comfortable with life. Sometimes I wish he was more curious so we could have more stimulating conversations about life. Whenever we talk about something, it generally goes towards politics and we think so different and ends up in an argument lol. I feel like this has to do with the way you were brought up. He is an American and I grew up in a different country. I feel like it would at least be cool to have friends to think at this level. Most conversations I have with Americans are plain boring. There is no substance to it. Just vague stuff over and over to what they call “small talk”.
I know what you mean. In the US and to a smaller extent Canada, there is a lot more focus on materialism and consumerism, which leads to more shallow thinking and conversations. There are many people who are willing to delve deeper but it's not easy to meet them. People get uncomfortable when you get into deeper topics it seems like. I remember a research study that discussed how the majority of people would rather shop aimlessly and buy things they don't need than to sit alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes a day. I'm not sure what some people are scared of learning or discovering by being curious but I see how it can be frustrating when your partner doesn't have the same desire for deep conversation.
@@coolbreeze5683 I don't believe this is limited to the US & Canada. I've lived in 4 countries on 3 different continents and have found that people are more or less the same everywhere., they just speak different languages. Not a lot of people are capable and/or willing to have deep conversations.
I feel you too! But sometimes I think maybe marriage and the hunt for love is different.. Marriage has more material component to it maybe...
Couldn’t a deep curiosity about life point to unfinished business from childhood though? Perhaps your husband had a more secure upbringing so he’s had the space and supportive base to be able to work through all his existential questions? I think secure people can be unaware that they’ve had that cushion in childhood so they don’t have the language to talk about it or the empathy for people who haven’t had that. They say people with ‘earned secure attachment’ (earned in therapy as an adult usually) have a greater empathy for others than those with secure attachment (earned in childhood). I find the deeper I go in psychotherapy the more secure I feel, the less existential questions I have, the less interested I am in the depth of life (and believe me I’ve been very intensely deep in the past!) and the more I see both sides.
@@creative45630so what do you think about these days?
Appreciate you guys talking about these things. A lot of us are thinking it but only a few of us are lucky to have these conversations in real life.
I love this and this is totally the collab i was so looking forward to!
What if Nathaniel Drew had an unconscious fear of commitment? Most People don't realize that they are unconsciously avoidant, but the type of language Nathaniel Drew uses also uses often classic avoidant attachment types. It's just a thought that claims no truth 🙂
Thank you to you both for this brilliant video! 👍🏽
You know your friendships are solid when you have not seen your friend for a very long time, and when you do meet, you are able to pick up where you left off with ease, fun and laughter and everything that gives you so much joy.
This is the dreamiest setting for this conversation. Nice work!
I came to his content through Lana, I always felt like they put out similar content. this was great to hear. Start a podcast you two!
Waw. You too😁 I came across Nathaniel channel after yours. He also has good content. I am glad you had this opportunity of bringing a content together. 😁😍
I’m 11min in the video and I’m finding humour in that it sounds like Nathaniel is describing Lana who is asking him about what he’s looking for ☺️
Honestly
Absolutely loved this conversation!
Wow, when I started watching such a calm ,self improvement videos, I started with lana then found Nathanile .I was wender if they met together❤
Very insightful and lovely conversation. Thank you 🙏
Two of my favourite CZcamsrs in the same video! Love this!
Ok, you two need to start your own podcast NOW… took so much from your conversation and at the same time, you two have great chemistry, great fun to watch/listen to you guys
Lana, this conversation is so good! Just proves good listeners are good talkers. ❤
I actually listened to this in one sitting which is insane. I could relate to Nathaniels thought process so deeply wow
I love both your and Nathan’s channels :)
we've needed this collab for years!
The cross over that I've always wanted ❤
This conversation has lot of learnings to this modern generation. In building relationships to other people. Watching from Philippines...
listening to him is painful most of the time but he made a really good point that resonated with me. when he talked about needing someone who is intensly curious and orients their life in that way that crystallized why my last relationship didnt work and what im looking for going forward. i felt heard.
loved this raw, confusing, contemplative talk. Really made me feel a part of it.
Lana is a great listener!
That's an extremely rare trait!
Especially in beautiful women!
Lovely conversation!
Thank you :)
Really enjoyed this! Thank you
Hej Lana. (..aand switching back to English bc this is the internet)
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this topic and the depth of the conversation, I related a lot with what Nathaniel had to say and will go over to his channel, hoping for more. I feel like you have a good, reflective view of things, Lana and I just wish there were more conversation on how dating is in Sweden, because I am myself a Swede and struggle a lot with this. I know you are situated in Stockholm and it's not the same as small-town-Sweden but still I just wanted to emphasize what topics I like. haha I don't know. I watch a lot of dating-related topics and conversations but it's all international and don't translate very well to Swedish culture at times, would be nice to have more of that Swedish perspective.
Lycka till i framtiden! Tjoho!
That's what I've always appreciated about Nathaniel, his insatiable curiosity and his desire to cover topics that are deep and hard to talk through. Loved this episode. Beautiful job. 🙏
An excellent conversation!!! Very deep!!!
i really think u should do this kind of content more!!
I feel like they’re going to get married one day
Loved the topics and conversation tree :)
I enjoyed watching your conversation.
i usualy don't comment on videos, but this is so good to watch,
thank you for the video, its left me with plenty of food for thought
For myself, I had one major regret that changed the trajectory of my life but I did make the most of my opportunities since then and would have missed out on relationships and amazing experiences if I had been “on track” so to speak. So that is another issue with regrets, if you did not do anything to make the most of your time since that regret than you would probably feel even worse about it.
Watching this felt like having a conversation with two of my best friends.
Love that :)
More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered prayers. You can get everything you want in a person, but it still does not guarantee you will be happy. And if you are committed to change, as is your spouse, you might end up living with someone who is quite different than the one you married. At some point, you just have to close your eyes and take the plunge. There is a strange magic about commitment. It will tell you more about yourself than anything else, test you, and sometimes humble you. But you will really know who you are and what you are capable of doing.
' Love is the similar passion of two souls....'
My literature teacher once explained and that has stayed with me!
wow you're such a great interviewer Lana 🤣but really, I do love the thoughtfulness behind your questions and that you don't hesitate to dive deeper and explore Nathaniel's answers a bit further
Seeing Nathaniel in the thumbnail, I had to click! Both of you have a pure heart that shines. I wonder if he's INFJ too like us... I loved this interview. I love your videos ❤ and yes Therapy is important 🖤
I relate so much to this conversation
Best video ever, love it!
Super down to earth convo ❤
such a lovely conversation ❤
Oh wow, this is so fascinating - i think it would be so interesting if you got other guests also on this podcast, like Ali Abdaal - you dont see this side to these youtuber's/entrepreneurs, especially with the kind of lifestyle they live. I loved how deep this conversation went and i'd love to watch more like this with other guests :)
I’m glad you enjoyed it :) Would love to have more of these conversations with other creators
Am I the only who thinks both Nathaniel and Lana were crushing on each other?
I am such a huge fan of them both and I believe they would make a really great couple.
Amazing guys, thanks for that
This video has a " Before Sunrise " vibe :)✨
lol this is adorable, hearing how picky Nathaniel is In dating. I sometimes am astounded that I married the first person I fell in love with. Now call that impulsivity 😂
most women dont have anything men want, most men arent wanted by most women because of inflation of self importance
As long as you're happy
I am extremely cautious and picky as well. My last relationship was very abusive, manipulative and highly passionate. I went to therapy afterward to ease my physical and emotional trauma. I have come to the conclusion that I would be happy if I found someone that was not a serial killer and that would be heaven for me. Also I would rather meet someone in the real world than on an app but I’m old school that way.
Growing up, as someone who has always been thinking deeply, it was hard to find a community so i could so relate with that struggle. However, after seeing ur videos and how u got a friend who u could connect with at such a level, it gives me hope that i can find more people like that.
Same, my friends have always knocked me for being so bookish and stuck in my own head, but every now and then I meet some person who I can just click with and it turns out that it's because we are on the same wavelength. The problem is that us introvert types need to learn to express ourselves better...