My complicated relationship with women.
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- čas přidán 23. 05. 2024
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I'm telling you, she really did drop those aubergines in the metro. 🤷🏻♂
Haha I was just wondering if this was staged and you wanted to allude to the eggpkant emoji, that is probably used a lot on dating apps
Get out! No way! Really? She must have done it on purpose. I hope it worked out?
If not, you'll have no problem finding other candidates. Yet, it is so hard to find what you are looking for and what you need and it is hard to eat only one potato chip. I miss Paris, sometimes. I need to spend more time in Italy. Have you ever been to San Sebastian?
@@mareen2838 I was wondering the same. 😊
hahah I have been in a similar situation in Copenhagen and honestly i loved the little things, like meeting people and bonding over random things have been so good
Nothing makes me happier than a beautiful girl with an aubergine in her hand.
As a person that is about your age, I want to offer you a different perspective. I've gotten married almost a year ago with my relationship of 5 years and he was my second attempt at love and here is what I learned so far: You're right, attraction means very little, it's a good "greeting card", but it doesn't make you stay. What made me stay wasn't love at first sight either, it wasn't common tastes or background. We are very different people. What drew us together was the combination of 2 important aspects - 1) we both had the strong desire to build a loving relationship and the will to truly care for another person, having a similar approach to doing so (we both wanted to get married and share finances, for example) 2) and we fit like a jigsaw, in the sense that a lot of what I am yet to learn he is there to teach and guide me through it, and vice-versa. Love needs to be seen as something built out of very simple materials, not as something that just slaps you in the face one day, all ready to go. It's an art to develop, every day. And every day I'm more and more certain that I made the right decision to get married and am more and more excited for the future. Just because I can count that we are both working on this. It's not romantic, but it's damn beautiful!
This is what I believe at 24, but I haven’t had enough experience to know for sure. Thank you for sharing 😊
Beautiful spoken I totally agree. I am 62, and almost 30 years (mostly happy) married. You have to be willing to work on it together always. Love is never only beautiful and romantic❤ and for us the most important thing is to give each other space to do the things you feel you want to do, and then I don’t mean seeking for thrills with other people but just taking time of from each other, with or without other friends. To travel, to do a hobby, to sport or just relax in your own space to fill up you battery with your own energy.
I've been with my husband 14yrs and it also wasn't all sparks at the beginning. We are also very different people but have the same foundational values which have gotten us through tough times. Someone once said it shouldn't feel hard. That has some truth. Especially in the beginning. But most of all you need two people willing to work on it and who for the most part can communicate well. You also need to be realistic about what you "expect" love to give you and what you expect to give. I manifested my husband. I wrote down everything I wanted and didn't want in a man in a super specific way and wrote what kind of woman I had to be to attract that kind of man and then worked on me rather than focused outside. Even though I manifested him. I still didn't recognize him as it when we first, second or third time met. It was a true version of good things take time :)
Girl, this is the best comment ever read. I am married too, I am feeling the same thing as you. Thank you for sharing such beautiful experience.
Agreed. Sharing similar values and interests is important. What do you think about the concept of opposite attraction in dating?
Someone said once to "be careful with attraction...as it has a lot to do with the unfinished business of childhood."
You nailed it! 👌🏻
As a marriage therapist, I see this show up majority of time with the couples I work with. Attachment styles also play a part.
@@aniazurek7258 This vídeo about the subject is spot on:czcams.com/video/Hvysy11716g/video.html&si=EnSIkaIECMiOmarE
Yes!! Unresolved Attachment issues in childhood that resumes in adult relationships! 😔
Not sure if it is attraction ... I think it is "sparks." Sparks are a sign that you're compensating for something.
oof
When you’ve never experienced that connection you question a lot, about yourself, about your surroundings and the whole world. And it hurts a lot to see so many people experiencing those feelings, that you can’t comprehend because you’ve never felt them truly. I have had crushes, even to obsessing over them but I’ve never had those feelings reciprocated. And I’m quite scared I never will. And I would never tell my friends these thoughts because even now I feel like I’m attention-seeking or just very silly. Idk, for anyone reading this, thank you for taking some of your time to hear about my thoughts, good luck in life stranger.
Thank you for sharing ❤ Every feeling and thoughts you have is valid. It is no silly business, so many of us think similarly. I bet something really interesting would happen if you open up to a friend you feel you can be vulnerable with. Please don’t stay in silence your whole life, unspoken words are often what we regret the most in the end. Lots of love ❤
I felt this so much. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts, feelings and experience. Often times we feel isolated and alone in our own feelings but when open up find we have a community of people who think the same.
Praying you find a love so deep that the ocean would be jealous. Don't forget God loves you, King.
same, man, same.I am too don't have a person that I'm comfortable talking about that kind of stuff without feeling like an idiot. Because everyone say that it's simple but for some reason not for me.
Being in love and not having the other person love you back, yeah, I know what it feels like. It's always the girls I'm not really into who would probably give me what I need. Those I like never seem to care enough)))
Your experience and insights are so relatable. As a woman, finding myself single after a long term relationship that lasted through my twenties, I feel so alienated in this dating culture of our days. After dating continously for 3 years and not finding depth in relationships I felt that people are choosing this mirage of having so many options and I felt disposable. Also, I noticed this pattern where, when you're getting more intimately connected to each other, people step away and prefer to keep it light and reopen their options instead of going further with the connection. I'm also a romantic and someone who really believes in good, healthy love, but this dating culture seems like is not about that, but about validation and quick fixes for loneliness. I took a step back for 2 years and learned to be happy alone. Then I decided it's time to return to the dating scene with a more mature and relaxed approach. I met someone who was amazing and we connected deeply for a couple of months. Everything was going great. But then he ghosted me out of the sudden and disappeared. Which really broke my heart because nothing wrong has happened to lead to that dramatic turn of events. Possibly his priorities changed, but ghosting someone you had a deep connection with is still such a sad yet common practice in today's dating scene. There are days when I feel like giving up on trying. I feel like I'm an weirdo who still values honesty, vulnerability, communication and commitment. So I truly resonate with your perspective. Thanks for sharing it.
🥺
Agreed woman, completly
As a man I relate to this as well. To be fair, I just honestly believe that it takes time and effort to meet someone suitable for you. I know I certainly have not put in the effort nor time to find someone good for me and all my hookups lately have been not so great. There are people that feel the same way as you, so you just have to find them I guess. I don't think it's easy, though.
I believe it has to do a lot with capacity. Capacity in the body and nervous system to hold intimacy and deep connections. Unfortunately, in a society where people are constantly overwhelmed by distractions and information, there is not so much space to have a real connection with the self, which ultimately would lead to real connection with others. Wishing you luck and groundedness in your journey!
I would like to have a scanner or app that shows who are "ghosts" and who are capable for deep connection
What a vulnerable and visually stunning piece!! Props for sharing so beautifully with the world Nathan. I'm just wondering when you're going to send me some Coeur clothing -_- ..Thomas
T-boogie 🥰
& it was natural
Don't be a bum Thomas, support your friend by buying his merch instead of getting freebies 😉
Your dress sense has improved 100 fold. Europe will do that to you.
Love seeing two of my favorite channels, connecting! This is a beautiful piece!
You've made a video about everything I've felt dating in the age of dating apps. I'm a woman, and I'm glad men feel this way too. I don't want fleeting connections, I want long-lasting deep stable and sustainable love connections. This is why I've decided to stop using the apps and join more communities. I hope more people will do this, and through this, we can all find our way to each other.
this is exactly what ive been trying to do as of recent but i live in a small town so finding communities is a bit difficult. but you cant succeed if you dont even try!
@@coolhellu Sending you good luck! Yeah perhaps try a range of activities, or just go out there and the same hours you spend swiping and checking your phone, and going on dates that go nowhere, you could be making at least 1 friend who will be a lifelong connection.
A lot of us feel this way. We’re all human. ❤
Go out and connect with others… and get off the apps. It’s for the best. I agree.
@@Curiouscrazy thanks :) im hoping that happens, good luck to you as well!
I'm with you!
Hookup culture and record levels of isolation and depression... there's definitely a connection with that. As a man that waited for my wife, it's 100% worth it. No baggage, no barriers , just complete giving of one another is a beautiful thing.
The production value on this video is completely out of this world. Well done with a quality message and beautiful package to wrap it in. Bravo
Agreed! Truly top tier stuff
Here we go. It’s dope how transparent he is.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I truly love his vulnerability ❤
Super attractive!!!
Agreed! Nathaniel just keeps getting better and better. Loving his direction lately. Plus the cinematography in his videos are amazing
My husband and I met on a dating app 8 years ago in NYC. But we both individually had the intention going into it of finding our person and not hooking up. We moved to France 5 years ago and it’s only gotten more amazing with every passing year. Love is out there! ❤ Also, this is your best video yet! Beautifully created and edited. Captivating :)
I watch your content, never knew you met your husband through an app. Cool for you guys 😀
Are the people in France nice
My husband and I also met on a dating app in 2013…so 9 years ago …and we have now been married 6 years and it gets better every year as the intimacy grows :). We are also moving to Paris, France in 4 months, to begin the next adventure together !
May I ask if you started the relationship slowly or did it progress fast? I'm having trouble in my love life attracting people who want to commit seriously very soon like weeks to a few months in and I am burdened by their intense attachment to me and their insecurities. I admit I have a lack of boundary setting and care too much to please them :/
IT WAS AB ABSOLUTE JOY filming this with you! You are AMAZING! Love how it turned out! Excited for our 1 minute short film where we'll include the rest of the shots.
Bine Ioana! 👏🏻👏🏻
This resonated so deeply with me. I'm a 28 year old woman who is romantic, emotional, and moderately traditional in what I'd like in a relationship and I have struggled finding people who have similar values. It's nice to see someone who is thinking the same thoughts as I am and is also sticking to what you believe. May all of us find the love we deserve and feel seen.
Same here!
Same here
same here
Yeah, totally agree)
Same here word for word
As a Christian, I have found so much safety and benefits to "the rules" as you put it. Saying no to men when it comes to sex weeds out the ones who are just interested in casual relationships vs a commitment. The men who are willing to wait, who understand delayed gratification and have self control and respect to maintain boundaries, who value me as a person and want to build friendship, trust and good communication and emotionally bond share themselves and their hearts are the ones who remain. I know that as someone who came from a broken home and who used to have promiscuous impulses as a result of the emotional neglect of my parents especially my dad, that saying no to the hook ups offered, saved me from a load of emotional baggage and heartbreak. Physical affection can get me very attached and can lead me to where I have a harder time to make good relationship choices. If the physical is off the table there's so much more reason, it's easier to have the hard conversations because you don't have that thing inside that makes you want to keep them no matter what. Its easier to let go and keep looking for the person who matches you in values goals and lifestyle.
Truly beautiful
Agree❤️ no sex before marriage. It will reveal if he wants you for you, or he just wants a romance with your body.
that's so true
As newly born Christian, I 100% relate to this. It wasn't until last year that I decided to give faith a chance and to seek God for direction, since my life had been a mess. I'm now 25 and I'm married to my college sweetheart, and incorporating the faith component has been such a blessing. We're no longer stressed or depressed as we used to be. And like you said, I've seen those who heavily reject religion because of sexual liberty end up becoming a lot more lost and depressed because they have no foundation or structure to their love life. Marriage wasn't always about maintaining power, as claimed in this video. That is such a renaissance way of viewing marriage which has existed for generations, as a commitment between two parties to love each other in the good and the bad.
Yes, but you have to do sex too, in my expirence relationship should start sharing same values , yo can’t have sex in the biggining , but of you start knowing the person is right to have intimacy with your bodies , is never black or white
This made me want to share my own experience as someone who is in what most people would consider the dream relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. I don't take him for granted but I do feel that no one has ever expressed their love for me in a way that feels more unconditional. I truly feel that I can share my true self with him and that I'll always get love and support. I'm learning how to love someone the way he does. And this doesn't mean I don't love him as much, but I just didn't even know there was love like this before I met him. But you talk about intimacy at the beginning of the video and here's the thing. I know I'm lucky. I have more than most people do. But I still feel incredibly lonely. I feel that today's society expects all my needs for intimacy and connection to be fulfilled by one romantic partner and that just doesn't happen. Not only that but it puts a lot of pressure on a relationship. What I've started doing lately and it helps a bit is meeting people through meetup events where I feel that I can truly be myself. Because right now I don't have that many friends and the ones I do have aren't as close as I'd like. I don't have true intimacy with anyone but my boyfriend. And to someone like me who believes connection, community, support and intimacy are what makes life worth living that has led to episodes of deep depression. I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess I just wanted to say that it's not just romantic love that's suffered with the way our society is organised. It's friendships, too. I just hope it changes for the better during my lifetime.
I feel you! Excellent reflection, really.
i have to agree on this. I miss intimate and close bonds with friends, that you know will always have your back. There is people i talk to regularly and we call and game together. Im missing some real connection tho, like people sharing meals, staying up all night on my balkony talking and other stuff. I felt so weird, like an aline, for longing for smt like this. I thought to myself maybe adult friendships maybe just arent like that and maybe i'm having wrong expectations. Moving to a new city and having circumstances that make it hard to get to know people doesnt make it any better. Im hopefull tho, that the few people i know, will be this kind of friendship, and even if they are not ill cherish them a lot. I hope one day i will have this kind of connection. :) just gotta stay true to yourself and make the best of the waiting time.
" I am not a religious man" made me laugh, I felt the same when I was not in a relationship, but when you do find that beautiful person that fills your life with joy, the woman YOU deserve...all of a sudden you start believing in a higher power. You start to look at life in a different way, all the experiences you felt like you were wasting, the 'meaningless moments' become moments of transitions and lessons that lead you to that specific person. You start to feel that everything really happens for a reason, as cliche as it sounds. Don't do anything you regret, a good friend once told me- keep acting like you are the best wife/ husband for that person in front of you, even if they aren’t the one. So, in other words, be good to yourself as you are the future spouse of someone. Practice makes progress, practice for your soulmate. When I say practice it is practicing in valuing yourself, not on the sexual side! In the long run, the person who will stay with you deserves the best version of you as much as you deserve the best version of yourself. Thank you for another masterpiece, I remember a poetry video you posted a couple of years ago and I wrote something very similar at the time a phrase that sticks out to me is, " no me conoces", bueno ojala conoces esa persona que llena tu vida con todo el amor y alegria que te mereces.
Gracias Nathaniel eres un regalo en este mundo loco
Thank you very much for posting all of this
I’ve been struggling a lot recently with what I thought were childish fantasies (left over from fairytales I loved when I was young), but now I’m trying to hope that maybe I wasn’t so crazy after all
Single dude
I have that part of me that wants to be super religious, spiritual, and wants to believe in soulmates.
I’m an atheist that wants to be a Christian. Or at least believe in soul mates.
But the thing is, it’s just not like that.
“ I feel replaceable….I feel like I am competing with the entire world”….🥺. I feel this to my core. Truly. Speaking from my personal lived experiences, I feel like I can be replaced easily. I’ve shared with friends that I think dating seems like a fast-paced experience where it is so easy to replace someone or be replaced, especially when relational issues arise. But relationships, romantic of platonic, are a series of ebbs and flows. It’s part of being in relation to another human being to experience conflict, disagreement, discomfort along with all of the more beautiful experiences. But it seems as if in dating the moment things get hard, we begin looking for better options. And it leads us to a cycle of looking for the “perfect” person. When in reality we are all flawed and all carry gifts too. There is no perfect person. But there are people who we will feel more aligned with based on values/characteristics we would like in a potential partner.
Best for us is just to Leave Those stupid dating apps
Some people are like this by default. The guy I'm stuck with rn did a great job mirroring me when we first met (a few years before smart phones and dating apps), pretending he was all about values & that we had similar values, but it turned out he hardly has any & I never really meant anything to him. He gives loud drunk "advice" to his friends & younger brother, basically echoing everything you said as part of dating app culture - never commit to a girl (keep her competing with the entire world), move on when issues arise because there are always better options - he actually compared it to sitting at the edge of a black hole, and sucking up all of its "free energy" (meaning, you string her along with constant promises of commitment, to keep her engaged & in "giving mode" - putting all of her effort into making you happy - and you just "feed" off of that energy until it runs out, and then you move on. Like a vampire).
It took me an embarrassingly long time to understand that the reason I felt like nothing but a roommate/maid/mother to him is because that's all I was to him. Every time he hurt me, instead of leaving him, I abandoned myself. After looking into mental health issues, I realized I tick a lot of boxes for "codependency", which is exactly what was modeled to me in childhood by my parents, and he's admitted that his mother has NPD & that he was her golden child, but instead of owning up to all of the boxes he ticks for NPD, he just continues to see himself as flawless. His dad was never around, but to him it just means he has permission to leave my son & I on the backburner. There is nothing at all tugging at his conscience, telling him that we deserve more from him as a father & husband than breadcrumbs.
It's gutting to see up close & personal how vacant/comatose some people are in what should be the closest/most important/fulfilling/joyful types of relationships. And while I think current social media & dating app culture makes it worse, I think people's inability to connect mainly comes from the "programming" of their toxic families of origin + the "programming" of consumer culture that atomizes people & encourages people to see others as commodities & approach everything like a transaction (i think internet in general has made consumer culture worse).
that part was the high point of the video
@@nataliaturner4845 It sounds to me like your boyfriend presents a defense mechanism of distance, because he was hurt deeply as well. You might be surprised to know that women behave very similarly to how your boyfriend describes his opinions. many of us men start out as romantics. But when women 'spurn' us because they are bored or no longer have use for a us, then this becomes a totally bitter pill to swallow. not sure if women realize they do this to men? Also not sure if most women even care? but most of us men who think like your boyfriend, actually started out as romantics, wanting that Soul Mate, thinking we found her only to find out that once she was bored, she was leaving as soon as her next train arrived. And then completely blames the guy as the sole source of the interpersonal issues! I have great compassion for your boyfriend! because I am him too now!
If you are at all curious as to where that comes from, or what the future of dating will be like for women, find the book 'The Rational Male' by Rollo Tomassi! Has your boyfriend used the terms hypergamous or solipsistic? if not you may want to recommend those words! This is how modern men see modern women going forward. Good luck Natalia, you will need it.
I think a real deep connection with someone happens when you're not desperately trying to look for it. Many people are finding love when they're not expecting it. Love can't be forced
what about people who had hardiship? like depression or physical illness?
OMG. This is going through my mind a lot lately. I had my first ever attempt at dating at 29 and it didn’t work out. I’ve been 30 for a few months and everything’s gone into question. I sometimes think maybe love and romance isn’t meant for me since I never bothered with it in my 20s and now that I’m in my 30s, I missed the boat on something. I’m also acespec so the physical was never a priority. But I look back and I know that I have a romantic side - I just need to trust life that maybe I’ll find someone to express that side fully, even if it ends up not being a romance or marriage.
Nathaniel!! As a long time spectator of your journey, I just wanted to say how incredible it is how far you’ve come as a videographer, orator, and content creator. The visuals were stunning, the narration warm & thoughtful, and the choice of shots very striking. Yours is definitely a channel I love to engage deeply with and never regret spending time on.
The main reason I'm waiting till marriage to have sex is simple, I don't want to let my brain trick me into believing that attraction is love and end up hurting people who ended up loving me.
You're naive. Have fun whilst you're young for god's sake.
Same here. In my last relationship my partner was understanding of my personal choice but over the course of the year she took it as a personal rejection of her. Im hoping the my next relationship will be long lasting and built on a really solid foundation.
And you will protect your body from STDs. Smart move.
It's also the only way to fully get to know your partner and build a solid relationship. Relationships built just on attraction and sex can only last a year or two at best. Mostly a few weeks or even days.
There are lots of reasons to wait, and nobody should criticise you for your choices. I agree that you can hurt people without intending to... and also you can be hurt by thinking a "great" relationship was more than what it might have been... just physical attraction and the elation of infatuation. Commitment and loyalty are the hard part, but the rewarding part.
Brilliant video! I have felt a lot of pressure to be in a relationship or to find my 'other half', especially as I get further into my 20s. But something I've realised is that romance is unjustly put on a pedestal above other types of relationships. The thing a lot of people forget is that being single allows you to have deeper friendships with friends and family, as you naturally have more time to invest in them than you would if you were in a relationship. I'd love to see more representations of single people who are living full, happy, fulfilled lives and aren't necessarily discontent about being 'alone'. Connection and intimacy can come in many forms and I think that a lot of the dissatisfaction that people feel is due to an absence of solid community in their lives rather than an absence of romance.
You've expressed the exact thoughts I've been having so beautifully. High five from another person in their 20s, who feels a bit mad sometimes for not madly pursuing a romantic relationship as a top-tier goal.
You hit the nail on the head with that last sentence! The Global North is *starved* for community!
I've discovered that I feel way happier when single even though I like romance, being happy is the best
The aesthetic of this video pulls you into the experience. It makes one feel as though they are with you having a thoughtful conversation listening actively to your thoughts on the subject.
this is every thought i’ve had about sex, relationships, loneliness, intimacy and the deep craving for true romance summed up in one incredibly beautiful video.
Love that you’re addressing this so openly and with such a balanced perspective. As a couple that has been together for over ten years, we can vouch that the deep connection comes with the desire to commit. Attraction is so important, but so is the learning to love someone for their idiosyncrasies. And when you’re in the dating sphere, how do you figure out where is someone at or if you both want similar things? (Like taking the time to figure someone out and share your life with them) It’s also absurd, the amount of pressure that is put on a romantic relationship to be a certain way for it to be ‘enough’. (Whatever that means) The whole thing of trying to measure something as intangible as intimacy through physical actions or grand demonstrations throw off the radar and don’t let us observe the joy of simple moments.
Thank you for your authenticity and we are really glad for these conversations you open up on the internet. Your vulnerability and bravery encourage more people to do that, so keep going!! And wish you beautiful, wholesome connections of every nature.🫶🏻🙌🏼
Love from Bangalore, India❤
Wonderful piece of writing.
If you replace the world "emotional" with "gay". It actually tells a clearer story. Don't let this guy fool you. His troubles only stem because he is not being honest about his sexuality. Stop enabling him to 🧢. 📠
@@thisneeds2besaid so what if that’s the case ?
@@thisneeds2besaid As a gay man, I need to say this - you're full of it. No one has a right to make assumptions about someone else's sexuality. Get a life of your own and stop passing judgement on other's choices, or thinking you know what someone else's truth is...
It was so strange to pick out this comment to read from most of the rest and see "Love from Bangalore" as I'm visiting here right now!
As a woman I felt the opposite pressure, to suppress any desire for intimacy and like, how lame is that! In both cases we close the door to intimacy. Anyway love the cinematography and your + Ioana's artistic vision is impeccable!!!! Great vid ❤️
It makes you a hoe. The first go-to insult from one women to another is to insult the other’s chastity by calling her a hoe. We’re not the same. If we were then it shouldn’t raise eyebrows when a guy beats the hell out of you for insulting him, as it can happen between men. But you wouldn’t complain about that, right?
Same for me!
Yeah, btw, supressing is a good word :)
I'm sure a lot of religious people can relate to that too.
I completely agree with this
This is so beautiful. I did not meet my husband until he came for a job interview with the company where I was working at the time. Later, we found out that we had almost met at least a half dozen times over the years, but kept missing each other. I was almost 39, he was almost 38. We met in October, started dating in April and got married in July. I had given up on every finding what I was looking for and refused to settle for less than "The Big Love." You remind me of him. The most valuable things I have learned from him are to have an open heart and to never give up. The fact that you navigated buying your apartment proves that you never give up! And it is very obvious you have an open heart. Thank you for sharing your story! And I love love love this format of video. Absolutely gorgeous! It felt like I was strolling around Paris chatting with an old friend.
Unpopular opinion, yrs, hooking up is bad. I can tell right away when someone has had too many partners. It's a glazed, burnt out look and a specific type of jadedness.
100%.
Thissssssss
It is bad indeed. I went through that life and it's like poison to the soul. Like a thirsty man that tries to satisfy his thirst with salt water, each sip makes you even more thirsty and dehydrated.
Anybody who claims otherwise is lying.
Bro, this video was so well made. The set ups, the cinematography, the editing, the color, the story, it's all world class. You're in the zone and operating at the top of your game man. Keep crushing it. (btw the Cœur attire looks phenomenal). - Nalf
Guten Butterbretzel
I agree a trillion Percent !!!!
The person you marry will change maybe many times over the course of their life. So be prepared to lose the person you were compatible with and learn to re-love them again and again ❤
Wow. I never thought about it like this. Thanks for your comment!
Yes! I have been married for 26 years and what you wrote is the absoloute truth.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
This is spot on! We condemn people for changing as life goes on and not being the person, we met. but we arent the person other people have met as we change ourselves.
As someone who's just been through the end of a 5 year long relationship in my mid twenties, I couldn't help but relate hugely to this video. Absolutely loved the artistic direction and the message.
wow, what a masterpiece! I love the visuals and the style of this one. 💫
thank you so much for sharing all of this, I truly can relate and I bet a looot of people do. even though they might not be aware of it.
So many of my male friends are going through this same thought process. I don't know if it's because men are becoming more open to sharing how they're feeling or if this is a new sort of revolution. Either way, know that what you are seeking is seeking you. Thank you for sharing your perspective and journey with us.
At the end of the day its a good thing that they are opening up
@Christopher Exactly! That is the ultimate plan, any way.
@Christopher no they arent
The eggplant drop at 3:27 made me laugh out loud. Always love your full and nuanced perspectives on things. Beautifully said.
sidenote : the cut at 6:55 where "la vie en rose" goes from the busker playing accordion to the background trumpet... my jaw dropped. One video editor to another, incredible.
You being able to be so vulnerable really gives me courage. Thank you :)
this was such a beautiful video. nathaniel never fails to surprise me w the way he make his videos (absolutely love the shooting style + filter btw!) and the way he shared this w us! thank u for sharing vulnerable snippets of your life, so beautiful to listen and relate to
I was 24 when I went to spend a year in Germany. Your talk of loneliness really strikes a cord with me because that’s exactly how I felt at that time in my life. Of course, this was back in 2002 so dating apps didn’t exist, but I can tell you that the culture of the young people in Germany at the time was very much to hook up and only then see if you might be compatible. This was absolutely not the way I wanted to go about things and so I found that time to be very lonely. I had the same fears and concerns that you do now. Looking back 20 years now, I can say that the pieces of your life will fall into place. You just happen to be smack dab in the middle of the most turbulent time in your life. As someone who has made it through that time I can tell you with confidence that special person is out there for you.
I know it's been a while, but do you have any advice/info for traveling to Germany? Currently Hamburg is #1 at my list right now, and I'm always looking for more places to add to my German bucket list. I need to get outta here man, been stuck in the same state since 2012 with a family who doesn't care for traveling.
I confirm this, likewise I moved to London in 2015, I found myself surrounded by hook up culture and was shocked as I never really cared about dating etc. I am a religious person by chocie so I am very happy I kept my self away and protected from that, especially looking now in hindsight I was and am a very emotional person and I give my all to anyone I fall in love with or like. So I belive and I can see that I saved myself from breaking my heart and tearing on my mental health. Now 5 years later I am with the most amazing human being ever which was 3 000 miles away from me all of that time but we live together now, and he values me and loves me just exactly the way I deserve to. I belive waiting and being patient will get you there. ❤
At 37 and single I’m not so sure of that
@@elisam.5760 Many people are still in their prime at 37. You're still incredibly young, something that will be made more clear as time grants you the perspective. At 25, we wish we were 18 again. At 30, we regret the things we did and didn't do in our 20s. And at 55, when retirement is on the horizon, we'll wish we were 37 again, lamenting that if we had the chance to do it all again, we'd do things right. But then we're pushing 80, and we still haven't done even a tenth of the things we said we'd do. And then by some miracle we make it to 113 years old, wanting nothing more than to have that bright, youthful charm of being 55 once more.
I really needed this cause this is my experience now, living in Belgium
Thanks for including Scott & I in this video :) I'm so happy we got to be a part of it. I love the message so much. Also... I'm still dying of laughter at the one scene of me putting on lip gloss and then making a big kiss face ahhaha
This video could not have a better timing for me. I realized for myself what love actually means and how special it can be i had to almost cry while watching this. Thank you Nathaniel
This honestly just makes me so excited for everyone, and you Drew, to feel the constant journey of finding and feeling intimacy with people romantically AND platonically. As a hopeful romantic myself - feeling that experience to connect with another person is beyond what is verbally describable. I can’t wait for you all🥺💜
I feel this on a spiritual level. I just got out of a 5 year long distance relationship because my ex thought he was holding me back from living my dreams abroad. But since I spent all of university in a relationship and am now freelancing, I realise how incredibly difficult it is to make genuine connections as an adult. As much as I want to meet new people and explore intimacy, I also understand that that's not the way to make proper connections which is very frustrating. I'm personally trying to make as many friends as possible by joining communities and then see who I connect with more intimately in the long run.
I relate to this. After college, I ended a 5 year relationship. I had a freelance/telework job. So I didn't have a way to easily meet people. But then I started salsa dancing. That opened a whole new community up to me. And then I joined a dance team, and my teammates became my best friends and I also met my husband that way. There's salsa communities all over the world. If it interests you at all, I highly recommend going to partner dance events :)
@@nicoleglass9741 I also dio dance! but belly dance. I have met so many nice people that way
This is my favorite topic ❤️ I love hearing from a man that sex without emotion isnt fulfilling. I've long said this, but it seems so few men agree!
I've been on the same journey as you experimenting with intimacy (as most of us have) and it's a long winding road of self discovery.
Just remember that you're an absolute catch! With how intelligent, self aware, and attractive you are, you'll no doubtedly find love. It's just the question of when remains a mystery
I couldnt believe how many improvements you've made to your video this time around. Keep going with this incredibly unique style please. Also your ability to narrate emotional dialog in a logical but touching way is immense. Keep making videos like this, you're the best Nathaniel 👌🏻
The style, visuals, scene selections, and filter (?) saturating the shots were gorgeous! And, of course, such an important topic to discuss and explore. Thanks for doing it so openly and vulnerably. Keep up the great work!
I admire the effort you go to making this so much like a hollywood level documentary ! Amazing content as well ... loved it thoroughly ! You inspire me to make better videos ... Thanks Nathaniel for creating these amazing masterpieces 🔥
As an almost 50 year old woman, I look back and see how I had the relationships I needed to have. They have been like soul school for me. And I see how my own soul/self blocked me from getting into relationships at certain times in my life that were crucial self-development times. Also, I have found hooking up to be disappointing compared to the amazing sex you can have in a committed relationship when you have trust and intimacy.
Interestingly enough I'm 37 and I will say hooking up is slightly better than falling out of love with someone and being subjected to sex you don't want to have with someone. It's sad how that can happen, but sometimes someone does something that just completely shuts you down and it's honestly the worst. I think I spent years rectifying that relationship with someone I knew I didn't love because it just felt comfortable. Now that I'm out I honestly prefer my connections with my friends over a romantic/sexual one, but I think he wore me out. It'll take years to bounce back from what he did to me for over a decade. But I will say sex with strangers still better than sex with someone you've grown to dislike and even hate.
@@kgal1298 Sorry to hear this! But let me ask you: How did you hurt him? We all assume that we live in a vacuum and that people act on us, then we react to him! if you really LOVED him, you would understand he reacted to you JUST AS MUCH as you did to him, and likely he feels EXACTLY about you that you feel about him! You have hurt him in indescribable ways that will cloud HIS judgement and make it hard to trust women. I am a man and have experienced this exact thing with my now ex-wife. And like you, she assumed it was all MY fault, and none of her fault. Both genders engage in this, but in our modern age, usually only women get a social pass from this. But I speak to men 90% of the time or more, and men feel just as used & abaused BY WOMEN, as you feel by them! We all do it to each other! So, to my question, how did you hurt him? Do you know?
You are on your path with honesty, eagerness to learn and an immense pull to know yourself better. Visual aesthetics are on point!
This was so beautiful and vulnerable! Thank you for this work of art 🎨🎭
Dudeee. This has to be one of my favourite videos from you. Even though there's fewer animations and stuff, the whole aesthetic is so spot on, especially for a video like this. The film look, and the wide shots with a little bit of softness, love it!!! And I'm here for all of it
Before Sunset is easily one of my favorite movies of all time, and the third movie in that trilogy just hits wayyyyy too hard. So many movies focus on the beginning and the end of relationships, and don’t spend enough time with the middle parts, especially the “ruts” that all relationships fall into where you’re having the same arguments over and over again and have to decide if you want to stay and work through it or if you’re done. Relationships are so hard, and I don’t think it’s bad or even an indication of isolation that more people are staying single for longer and having less sex. I think we’re all rebelling against the idea that you have to have a partner to be whole, and we’re all perhaps taking sex and intimacy more seriously. Just my two cents! From a 34 yr old who has been single for six years with no plans to change that ❤
I felt so calm watching this masterpiece. Thank you, Nathaniel!
Always love how your videos feel more like questions than answers. You're transparent in a way that a lot of people aren't on YT, probably because of the pressure to provide content that helps people or teaches people something. But your videos are comforting, soothing, contemplative; a different kind of impact. Love the new style, keep milking Paris for all it's worth :D
this is why you’re one of my fave youtubers. sincere, thoughtful and amazing visuals. I love how you never pretend to preach or have all the answers 😊
Hola
I needed this. I’m fortunate enough to be in a relationship with a woman who truly connects with me on all levels (morally, physically, emotionally, etc), but sometimes I get frustrated because I feel I’m missing out on other women and sexual experiences. I’ve been with women before, but she’s my first girlfriend and I’m just 21 years old (hence why this kind of temptations come to mind) with very few sexual experience. But this video reminded me that unconnected meaningless sex with women for the sake of experience and variety is nothing compared to the emotional connection I have with my girlfriend who truly loves me. It’s true, we think that emotional connection is everywhere and we take that for granted, when in reality it’s like a lottery, looking back at my life.
yeah it's normal to want to experience things with other people when you're in a relationship, or even develop crushes on other people. but it all boils down to whether you cherish the love and emotional intimacy of your partner, or the quick satisfaction of lust with someone else - like you said !
I inentify with that! I'm 22 and my current partner is also my first one (I've had little sexual experience apart from him, just like you). So sometimes i also feel kinda like I'm missing out on experiences or feel like it's just weird to only have one partner forever. But honestly, we're so connected to each other and have been so happy together for over three years now, I know I have all I could ever ask for with him. We are also very open about thing like that, so we speak freely about trust, faithfulness and our desires to maybe allow some s3xual experiences outside of the relationship. I think it's so important to be open about this with your partner and communicate these things openly. Then also I remember just how bad s3x with random people probably would be.... because I mean...
I'm 45 and had been with my wife since I was 19 years old........Have three children..
We separated about a year ago due to many reasons. I can honestly say that it'll be a rollercoaster...lots of love.....annoyances.... experiences.... ups and downs. It really is WORK. That doesn't sound sexy, but its true.
But if you truly love the person you're with, I promise, if you invest in them and you both do what it takes to take care of and love each other it is so worth it. I wish I learned this lesson a lot sooner.
It may sound counterintuitive, but you will get more sexual experience from a long-term relationship with one person than from sleeping around with many people. Hookups are a series of first-time experiences, but with a committed partnership comes the opportunity for repeated practice, to get comfortable with the experience and then branch out or experiment from a tried-and-true base of skills. You get to know each other well and become quite proficient in what works for each other.
I got married at 20, and am now 33, my husband is my only sexual partner. People assume that one or both of us have fomo and missed out on having fun with other people, but when I compare my experience to my peers who had shorter and more casual relationships, my sex life has been much more satisfying. Especially as a woman, hookup culture doesn't appeal to me from what I've heard of my friends' experiences. There is not much incentive for the guys to get to know what works for us, and many women I know have had much more sex than they have had orgasms. Meanwhile my husband and I have had years to understand each other intimately, and we have one of the most healthy and satisfying intimate relationships of our peer group.
" *It may sound counterintuitive, but you will get more sexual experience from a long-term relationship with one person than from sleeping around with many people. Hookups are a series of first-time experiences* "
I'm not sure if people will belive this sentence, but I believe it. Even women that only had one man...
Oh my god, Nate! This is so important! Everything you said resonates with me and truly makes me feel less anxious listening to your experiences. You have been kind of a role model to me (public speaking, posture, learning languages, facing challenges, living abroad, etc) so it comes much more powerful from you. I often feel like my love and sex life have been so low when I compare to others that it is the part of my life that always felt frustrating. Even though I had examples from people dealing with similar difficulties, most live lives so unconnected from me that they don't feel honest, but from you, a guy I would truly have as a friend, it comes as a genuine reality. Thanks you so much for making this video. I'm gonna rewatch this now because there's so much to process and I feel it's already helping me a lot ❤️
The color & the style of this video is simply NEXT LEVEL!!! SOOO sooo cinematographic, the storytelling adds to it too!! And on top of it all, this is such an intimate topic, which really shows a lot of bravery of you speaking out on it!!! Well done, you're simply getting better & better with each video 👏🏼
You’re take on love is so pure and beautiful. I truly appreciate your vulnerability and being able to hear your thoughts on things like this ❤
you're evrywhere
Due to my horrible attention span, I very rarely watch YT videos all the way through anymore, BUT this wholeheartedly captivated me. It is true that the emotional connection that encompasses love can feel so ordinary when we are in the midst of it, but so out of reach when we are lacking it.
I loved the production of this video as well, Nathaniel. All the visuals were stunning and your script was *french kiss* (no pun intended ;) )
This video is probably my favorite from you! The production is insane, and just the entire concept and breakdown… perfect for a hopeless romantic like me!
Thank you for being open and vulnerable. I lived in Paris for 6 years and yes, love is omniprésent :)
Openness is an underrated trait that comes so natural to you. Love it.
Besides, I totally agree with what you said about the quality of social interaction nowadays. It makes me feel so alone when everything seems just superficial
I know you stated that you're experimenting with this video approach/style but man the amount of effort and BEAUTY that this is for something you are "trying out" is insane! I love this so much and if you have any hesitations on it - i promise u , to get rid of them cause this was an insanely beautiful/aesthetic video with a great topic !
This is my favourite video you've ever made. The cinematics, the flow, everything was absolutely perfect. The ideas of being replaceable and finding intimacy in our new, remote-first world have never been more relevant to me and I really really resonated with everything you said. Big love ❤️
What an amazing video.
Visually speaking I can’t even image the number of hours decree quired to film all the shots all around Paris. Cutting all your speech all around the city.
Beautiful peace of work Nath
You are incredibly talented at narrating the inner voice of so many young men. Thank you Nathaniel, for your vulnerability on this channel.
This video made me extra grateful for my S.O. We have been together almost 9 years even though we are 25 & 26. It’s crazy because we are very different people from when we began dating but we really truly grew together as well as individually. There have been a few times over the years where we have considered giving up because no relationship is easy but I’m so happy we have never made that decision because our relationship is the healthiest it’s ever been and makes us both happier in life. 🥰❤️
oh god your comment makes me more depressed lol
I have the same with my partner, we've been together for almost 7 years at age 24, I'm very grateful for it as it's definitely not something common and I cherish every day, even the bad ones, because I wouldn't give it up for the world and I wish for everyone to experience it at any point in their life :)
I almost feel like a proud father when I say that I'm glad you didn't give up on your love & you fought for it!
@@mitza420 I’m so sorry I don’t want you to feel that way. You’ll find your person if that’s something that you are wanting!
@@ClaireEliseLumiere you and I definitely have a unique experience!! How lucky 🥰
I find this very relatable. Thanks for sharing!
nathaniel ! the style of your videos are art. the story telling is incredible and it’s been an honor watching you progress all these years from afar. i’m a big fan! and am soon moving to paris it’s very comforting seeing you do so well there it gives me hope
A simple message delivered with wonderful complexity. Love it 👍🏼
your film making and storytelling consistently leaves me in awe. thank you for all the time and effort it takes to create these pieces! they are truly moving. having your videos available to me while I'm learning to become an adult (I've been watching you for the last 5 or so years, I'm 25 now) has been such a positive part of my character development. thank you again!
So beautifully made! The scenes, the colours and most importantly the vulnerability and storytelling in this video are perfect!
I love the way you explained it! Very eloquent and well phrased. Felt like when you struggle to put something into words and someone does it for you perfectly :)
the shots in this video are absolutely insane, the story telling truly conveys the message in a deep and realistic nature :)
I have so much respect for you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences on the internet. Keep being great!
the new look you’re experimenting with is so cool, I love how you’re bringing the environment into the frame, it makes each shot look like an art piece!!
It's so hard to be vulnerable about this stuff in our current world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about emotional intimacy, it's refreshing to see people talking about this stuff. Wishing you happiness x
Love how much you’ve grown, Nathaniel. This video’s editing is gorgeous and I like that you addressed this topic both delicately and thoughtfully. Amazing!
This is by far, my favorite video of yours.
I love the filming, the colors and i really believe in this message, in a way, it's like we're all lost just looking for some place to call home, and home is often someone (a lover, a friend or a family) and not somewhere.
Absolutely love the editing and your story telling keeps evolving. It’s beautiful to watch!
This editing style was so great. I love the vulnerability of your dialogue juxtaposed with the shots out in public. Also I'm just a sucker for slow zooms so I loved everything about this
The cinematography in this video was just…top tier. It’s so warm and relative to the topic. Thank you for being so open-hearted and talking about something that I believe is weighing on a lot of our hearts. ❤
the color palette, the gorgeous wide shots, the variety of angles, the quality- goodness! cinematography 10/10! wonderful work, Nathaniel!
Well done! As a couples therapist, I see this theme surface a lot. Most of us long for depth, connection, and meaning. Additionally, there’s this ‘tricky’ thing called Attachment Theory which plays a huge part in who we find attractive, and not. Good for you for passing on the “potato chips”, and looking for something with
sustenance instead. ✨
Great video, Nathan! Someone gave me some advice years ago that resonated with me: "keep pursuing what you love and you're bound to meet someone on that same path." Those words stuck with me and eventually I found that person while doing something I loved/being fully who I am. I'm confident you will too! PS I also love Before Sunset/the full trilogy. Great films.
There are so many good things about this. The cinematography, the animations, and the sound but what makes this truly special is how deeply intimate this message feels. I feel exactly the same as lost about what pop culture shows about love, living through a no-strings-attached to culture, and what I really feel and think about loving and feeling loved. So, thanks for another video that keeps my mind spinning. Abrazos.
Nathaniel, I can definitely sense some differences in the art style of the production, and it's incredible. It feels more like a short movie, with a beautiful message behind it. Excited to see more of your content.
Absolutely beautiful! 🌻 Also very human and relatable. That deep home feeling connection landed for me at age 36. Part of me accepted that it will not happen in my lifetime at all by that time, however it seems that life has its own magical timeline. You’re a beautiful soul, life will reflect you back to you at the right time! 😊
The look and filmography of the video is amazing !! SO poetic and beautifully made (and I love your outfit)
It's crazy you made a video about this. I've followed your work for a few years now. And there is much parralel in between what you are going through and what things are happening in my own life. Thank you for always allowing us to see this kind of topics through your lens. It's add a a depth of perspective into the whole thing.
Wow. I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE this new format you’re trying out. It’s so engaging and immersive. I’m not even a quarter of the way through and I just have to pause and express my awe and gratitude. Great job Nathaniel!
I’m obsessed with the colors and shots in this video! Thanks for making beautiful videos Nathaniel!
Nathaniel’s channel is so special to me as a visual artist. His videos give me creative clarity and direction. I thought documentaries would be my niche, but these short introspective pieces is what my heart responds to the most, especially as someone who also thinks deeply about life. This clarity means everything. Great work as always Nathaniel and team ❤️
Incredible Storytelling and showcasing style! Thanks for this great piece of art
This is my favorite piece of yours yet. I can relate on so many levels, as well. I've made some terrible choices and you and I are totally different. It's amazing to me that no matter the walk of life, many of us struggle with our relationship to women. I feel validated, thanks.
As I listened to you share your views, beliefs and struggles I felt less lonely in this journey of trusting life. I'm not enjoying things lately but this was really pleasant to watch. Thank you for the great content and keep at it. Its amazing.
This style is so great! I constantly notice the quality of your videos improving, and the subject matter is always getting deeper and more relatable. I love your work
i've been feeling this way too for a while. especially the part about being replacable - that's such a horrible feeling in dating, you will let your boundaries get crossed, you will try to appeal to something while losing yourself...
thank you so much for your thoughts and beautiful filmmaking!
It's been so much fun watching you evolve over the years as a creator and person. You get better and better, thank you for sharing❣
Thank you, I needed this; this video made me cry. I am still processing the breakup of my first long term relationship of two years, which happened a few weeks ago, and the things you talked about really resonnated with me. I think a lot of our problems stemmed from this idea that love should be perfect all the time, and if not, you should go look for someone else. And that quote was beautiful - it's not easy to just go out and find someone else to share intimacy with, and what we had was truly special.
I was talking to my friends about this topic this week, i always felt weird the way that people expect me to conect, for me takes time. Thank u so much for making this kind of content Nathaniel, seryously. Love you, cheers from Brazil 💜🌻