If Noah's Ark Happened in 2022
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- čas přidán 14. 07. 2022
- "We're being boycotted for deforestation, PETA is furious, OSHA violations left and right, people are protesting us for not including trans animals...it's been exhausting." - Noah, if the ark story took place in 2022.
John Crist is standup comedian. For more more live tour dates, bio and more information visit www.johncristcomedy.com - Komedie
Can we appreciate his dedication for building an ark just for this skit?
ur trying to trigger me
I want to visit but it's about 4 hours away from me (I think).
ALL CGI! ALL! NO ONE HAS EVER BUILT AN ARK MUSEUM. EVER. :)
@@richardmahn7589 joking right? This is real and it is a themepark in kentucky Called "Ark Encounter" And there has been several other life sized replicas of the biblical vessel in the past and more to come
ago
@Richard Mahn it’s not CGI… i visited the Ark Encounter in Kentucky and it was amazing.
definitely wasn’t fake.
“We need a non binary.” “I don’t know why y’all are out here looking at this ark, none of y’all are gonna be on it.” 💀😂
He identifies as black as a black furry transgender.
True 🤣
The stories are not Christian stories exclusively
@@ceasar7830 they are
FYI: The ark was a one time thing. Read your Bible. You will enjoy it. God bless you!
"I have a 40 day forecast and it's like Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain" that's gold! 🤣
The thing is, it won't rain Water again. God will use Fire and cast the wicked into a Furnace. In other words, he'll roast them. That's why, you must Repent.
Sounds like Pacific NW.
Seattle & Scotland can’t stop laughing!!!
The more you meet people, the more you understand why Noah took animals instead of humans.
Exactly
Animals followed God's cautionary instruction while human beings mocked it.
Yeah humans didn't took god's warnings seriously!!!
True!!!
God's warning through another human and not himself
The fact that he actually got close to the kangaroo and was talking to him made it so much more hilarious! 😂😂
Here in Australia, it’s the roo 🦘 that goes near to humans! Lol 😆
roo was chillaxed about it.... love it....
It's a petting zoo 😅
Also came to comment on the kangaroo. 😂
At the Ark encounter (where this was filmed) the zoo is what you saw. The roo’s are out on the grass and no barriers between you and them.
I lost it when the Amish guys walked by. “If anyone knows how to build, it’s the Amish.” “Me, Hedekiah and Zachariah built it.” 😂
Same !
😂😂😂😂😂 Just as I read your comment, he literally was saying this.
That was good!😅
@@kelseyyoder2108I bet they're Hutterites.
In all seriousness I was on that ark the day it opened. A huge storm rolled in with 60mph winds and the staff locked the doors and told us to shelter in place. It was quite surreal. When we were finally allowed to leave it was still pouring rain outside. We had to purchase plastic make shift rain coats in the gift shop in order to leave. 🤣
That is the truly immersive experience lol
The best part was the ark was damaged by water !!!it's supposed to withstand a flood !talk about irony...😆
So animal crossing? 😂
That's so legendary, sign from God yo
Seriously? If true that is funny.
I love this! Your roots of Christian/biblical comedy is where you shine! More of that please!
Completely agree! He is great at Christian comedy
@It's not looking good what
@It's not looking good he is Christian
Ha, I agree it's hilarious, witty, and inspired by Christian themes and stories, but if we're being real, it's not really that "Christian"
Yes! More, please!
Absolutely hilarious. I've never seen someone so uncomfortable in work gloves
😂😂😂
Lol. Kinda looks like Mickey Mouse hands.
You can tell those gloves have not been used. Like a new pair of white tennis shoes.
All the hand gestures seem awkward in gloves for some reason 😂
@@millmill67 yes, that maybe it
"Doppler 40-day forecast" that was clever 😂
John you’re looking pretty good after taking 120 years to build that ark 🚢
Exactly 👏🏼 😆 🤣
Food for thought..His 3 sons and 3 daughters' in-law were responsible for repopulating the earth after the flood, which means, Noah's grandkids married and procreated with siblings or first cousins. Then their offspring procreated with siblings or second cousins, or first cousins/aunt,uncle combinations...Then, for the first 4 or 5 or 6 generations, you get more of the twice removed, three times over stuff and it gets really confusing before becoming more of a spreading tree. We're all Noah's greatX1,000 grandkids.
@@eviea6897 most have agreed that great flood was only mesopotamia
@@imperatorxz Just don't tell us prove it ok ?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When I first went to the Ark, it literally started raining right when we got there, and I was like "ooh, is this a sign? 😬"
Would've loved to see you shopping at Home Depot for a tape measure that measures in cubits! LOL
Hilarious
Yes!! My ears were itching for that! 😉🤣
I need one of those because sometimes I'm too lazy to hold out my arm to measure elbow to fingertip. 😂Also, I doubt the accuracy of my own cubit because I have longer-than-average arms.🙋♂️ Then again, perhaps people were taller (and hence had longer cubits) before The Flood since many people lived to be more than 900.
🤣
😂😂😂
As someone who's ex-Amish, I appreciated you putting them in the video and the commentary 🤣
Yep, me too 😁
Don’t forget to eat your veggies, especially carrots
I want to be neo Amish
@No Worries It's has it's interesting and challenging parts about it 😅 All of it is normal for me. My parents, grandparents and 6 out of 10 siblings are still Amish so being around the community is still very normal for me. Although there was a lot of disappointment with my decision to leave, there's been "acceptance" to a degree and we now all spend time together on a regular basis 💕 I wouldn't change my upbringing, but you definitely know and see things the rest of the world doesn't know about haha
What’s wrong with being Amish?
Can’t you be Amish without being Amish-Mennonite?
“A new gender reveal gone wrong every day…” Oh my gosh got me laughing so hard!!
Noah: “I’m going to bring 2 of each animal, one for both genders”
Twitter:
Noah never heard of non-binary and the many genders the left pushes.
😂😂 But seriously, that must have been mad hard for Noah to get all those animals to comply 😅
Hahah the animals actually came to him in 2 by 2 :)
@@mariannehanna8071 😮 I had to do some quick research just now to confirm…I never knew that!! But makes so much more sense 😂 🙏🏽
@@caramia4483 Yh it made so much more sense to me too hahah
With God all things are possible 😁
@@mariannehanna8071 👌The clean animals came in sevens, unclean by twos🐷🐷. (School House Rock really disappointed in that respect, but I suppose the sevens table is not "Elementary, my dear." Great song, though! 😊🎵)
"6 feet apart! 6 feet apart!!" 😂😂😂😂
I'm a Christian and I love this video, it's very funny and I appreciate your knowledge of the Bible. I'm very glad that God has created you, He has wonderful sense of humor. God bless you🙏🏻❤
2:25 fun fact: there's no indigo in the LGBT rainbow (6 colors), so that's God's _legit_ covenant rainbow (7 colors, representing completeness e.g. 7 days in a week)
oooh cool. if I ever need to paint a rainbow, I’ll be sure to include indigo
Interesting 🤔 I didn't notice that
I heard there is no indigo in the LGBT flag because flag manufacturers didn't have that particular color material to a put into the flags they made, so it was left out
FACT
6... that checks out
Consensually inviting the animals 🤣🤣🤣 I'm dead ☠️☠️☠️
@2:43 Me, Hezekiah, and Zachariah built the thing 🤣🤣🤣
@2:14... Doppler 40 day forecast... Rain... Rain... Rain... Rain... I love this "2022" rendition of Noah's Ark!!!
Hilarious and accurate at the same time! I lost it when talking to the kangaroo. 😂
Apart from saying they need to keep the animals safe for 40 days. It rained for 40 but they were on the ark waiting for the waters to subside for approximately a year. Still a funny video
Accurate, as in every single popular culture war straw man was methodically ticked off (non binary! Trans! LGBT! Animal rights activists! Health and safety! Tik Tok! Influencers! Social distancing!)
John's a funny guy but he knows what buttons his audience wants pushed and religiously (pun intended) sticks to that.
Hi. I agree John is funny, but there’s not need to argue with the whole comment section
"I am not part of the exhibit!" So glad you kept that in. lol
This is so funny as someone who’s actually visited the Ark Encounter and noticed some of the same things!
Haha I have it’s great
Who built the Ark? Ken Ham, Ken Ham. Who built the Ark, father Ken Ham built the Ark. Yep, I bet Ken Ham fought for the pumping of 2022 guest sewage right out the top of the ark vent system for a more authentic Ark bathroom experience, but lost on that one and a few other things. In all seriousness get a 3 day pass and plan on staying 4 days in the area. Pay extra for the VR that a 3rd party helped bring in and enjoy all the free animal encounter classes making sure to sit in the front row and stay after to talk to the zoologists and handlers. Answers TV is also only 3.33 a month and has all their DVDs.
It’s amazing. I’ve been twice for an event. Hoping to go again this year!
The ark encounter is amazing!
I agree with Perky Bird. My family and I visited the Ark Encounter and it's so neat to see how John put a humorous spin on different parts of the exhibit. Great video!
The gloves: I couldn't take my eyes off them...they remind me of Psalty the Singing Hymn Book.😂
Your Christian humor is the greatest please keep it up!!!
"Christians" are hilarious.
Noah is so woke it hurts! I was waiting for you to be spotted by tourists ... thanks for including the outtake at the end.
"We need a nonbinary animal" and the part where he tried to convince the cangoroo were hilarious 😂😂
Him begging the kangaroo to get on the boat was great. 😂
Brilliant!! I so very much appreciate this interpretation of Noah's dilemma for today's challenges. It's funny but true.
Noah didn't build an ark, he waterproofed his house and put his farm animals in it so when the flood basin filled with water he could float to the Arabian peninsula on his makeshift houseboat. Fairly decent woodworking probably went into it, but It can't be verified since The remains have most likely long since decayed into dirt.
He came ᑭᖇᗴᑭᗩᖇᗴᗪ with the outfit 💀😂😂
i love how an Amish guy walked by and looked at you when you said "it's Amish people" hahaha
“But I’ve been watching Joe Rogan and he’s given me a lot of carpentry tips…” 😂🤣
"Doppler 40 Day Forecast" is GOLD
Pepsi machines on the Ark, because product placement is exactly how to fund your large boat project
John’s brain is a national treasure. I couldn’t, in a million years, think up this stuff. Too funny
The part with the Amish dudes made me die laughing
Me, too! Hey, they’re good!
R.I.P.
I'm dying! You forgot emotional support tea cup dogs
That wld have been perfect!
"can we get these sprinklers turned off" 🤣
This is one of the best John Crist videos I’ve seen in a long time! Love it! Keep up the good work bro 😎
The Portland show was my fave, by far. Funny as usual and BRAVE!!
I'd imagine the sabre-tooth Alaskan parrot would have survived most situations, so it probably didn't need the Ark anyway.
The Saber Tooth Alaskan Parrot 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The Amish bit had me cracking up!
Imagine if the ark had wifi though...
Noah: "Son, I need you to feed the giraffes"
Japheth: "Not now Dad I'm watching Avatar the last airbender!"
Replace ATLA with Steven Universe and you have the perfect progressive 2022 Ark.
Sabertooth Alaskan Parrot...🤣 You're creative, John. This was amazing.
“I do have Doppler 40 day forecast and it’s just rain, rain, rain.”
"Concentual" gathering of animals🤣 plus, John's hand gestures with the white gloves...the BEST!
He’s ready to land planes!
@@cjlive5182 it's my favorite thing about him 🤣
At 1:39 that kid was zooming
Funny, creative and awesome as always - enjoy all of your skits and your amazing wit!
Great video! …”we need a mental health day.” 😂 1:20
Peta has been out here repeta'dly...
We'll just not be able to get the saber-toothed Alaskan parrot
I haven't Laffed this hard all year.THANK YOU SIR!!!!!
My dog just passed away three hours ago and I am heart-broken. I can’t sleep right now. I needed a laugh so I started watching his videos. The 40-day forecast part got me 😂🤣🤣 Thanks brother.
(((hugs))) I hope you are healing, losing a beloved pet is very very difficult! 😢
So sorry for your loss. Our pets are a true gift.
Thank you@@earlymorningtwilight9119yes they are. I miss him so much.
A reflection of God's love indeed.
Dead . This is gold. I love when he puts the commentary in when someone recognizes him! Pure joy and honesty happy to be un-canceled Lolol
Hezekiah and Zechariah … 😂😂😂 hilarious
love all the satire John! Thank you for this piece!😆
You're channel no doubt is gonna soar. You're hilarious, and so much more polished than alot of other youtube comedy channels
This was hilarious!!!! I’m gonna watch again 😂
Those amish dudes were definitely within ear shot Hahaha
This was amazing! I've been to the Ark a couple times, so seeing it from this perspective is hilarious! Great job!
You are hysterical and I love how you put together your humor!!!👌👌👌👌👌
That was great, thanks John !!!
Loved the weather forecast.
Rofl, John Crist is a genius! Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard!!!!
If I can build IKEA furniture,I can build an Ark!
You absolutely NAILED it!!!! That was totally hilarious!
THANK YOU!!!
And thank you for being funny without a cuss word flying out of your mouth, every other word, or taking the Lords name, in vain, or being vulgar and nasty.
You are what true comedy is! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
You never disappoint 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is hilarious, man. And to hear the background story on the podcast is just an added layer!!
Its so good to have you back John Crist. More grace for more
"A Pall Mall"! The Amish timing was hilarious. So many moments that were repeatable!
What do you mean you weren’t part of the exhibit??? You were playing the Biblically accurate Noah!!!
Those gloves are lookin pretty new there John. 😂😂 I bet Hezekiah and Zachariah’s gloves are well broken in. Gotta love those Amish. 😆. Truthfully though, I hope you enjoyed your time here in northern Kentucky!
The Scooter Drag racing l👀ks like fun behind you! 😂😂😂
So funny!! Love you John. Keep ‘em coming!! :)
Your videos are amazing. Thank you for making us all laugh and have better days 👏🙂
John you're awesome. I can really appreciate how your brain works. Funny stuff brother!
I love how there is a full 4 mins. Very well done, as always.
hahahaha that was fantastic thank you for cheering up my day! x😆😍
You are SO funny!!!!! Favorite comedian of all time
0:43 - Hahaha❕😄
Just listened to your podcast about this!!! I couldn’t wait! 👍🏼👍🏼U R the best!
Thank you for this!! and FINALLY, Someone willing to give us a little un-pc humor...I love it . more! more!
Dude! SO funny!!! Love what you do💖
This is funny stuff man! Love the wise crack about the passing Amish fellas.
You made this skit WORK 😂. I appreciate it.
Thanks for sharing this video. You’ve made my day! 👍
This is hysterical! I loved it! Man, you did it well! Hats off.
This dude humor is on a whole nutha level.. Salute!!
those brand new gloves though - also the amish 😂😂😂
OUTSTANDING!
Humor is known to be the best way to get hearers to listen.
WELL DONE!
That was so enjoyable!!
You cracked me up. Haha! Our family visited the Ark in May on our way down to Florida and it was by far my favorite place we visited on our trip. It was fascinating. I could have spent days there if it wasn’t for our kids. Lol
This is hilarious 😆🔥 I heard about it on your podcast and could not wait to see it.
"why are you taking photos? You're not gonna be on it anyway!". 🤣
I need 40 days and 40 nights more of this.
Heehee...lotsa giggles. Clever John is at it again. 💛
Those work gloves were made for a Yeti!
Um, subscribed lol. This is one of the funnier things I've seen in a while. 😂👍🏼
Thanks, John! This is so GREAT!!! Love the gloves!
Loved that museum! It was fun whilst on a road trip. Also saw for the first time a lot of Amish folk. Wanted to ask them questions but I didn’t, cause I’ve been told not to. I know it’s not always the case but idk. 🤷♀️ Love seeing him do more of these types of videos!