"Limpia, An Energetic, Spiritual Cleansing & Healing" NMShow #80
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- čas přidán 15. 08. 2014
- Michael Guzzio demonstrates his work as a Shamanic Healer. Here he performs his style of a "Limpia," a form of energetic, spiritual cleansing & healing. Michael works in Albuquerque, NM.
Producer: You don't look like a shaman to me. You're just wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
Michael: *ties headband*
Producer: Well holy shit.
😆😆😆😆
We have found our shaman, ladies and gentlemen! 🙃
Would’ve been even more hilarious if he just sauntered in with a full headdress, loincloth, and sneakers
When Michael made his holy circle on the studio's 1982 era carpet, she KNEW..."this is the one we have heard was to come !"
When he put the bandana he became Limpia Mike, then he went to Prison and became Prison Mike.
I couldn't help but notice one leg was 1/32 " shorter than the other.
Hahahahaha. Dr Saul!!!
HahahahahAHahah
That's why you leave the shoes ON
I did some healing on the lymphatic system.
@@coolmastamanga1278 and the nervous system, and pretty much every other system in the human body... lol
Crips are doing some crazy gang initiation stuff these days.
Underrated comment 😂
I had a thought when I saw the thumbnail but you nailed it
@@mainhoondon21 how is it?
Yeah if you flash your headlights at them.....they will pull you over and do a feather dance ritual.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Long beach crips are with you, park city crips are with you, compton crips are with you, snoop dogg and all the big homies are with you
😂
If I were an eccentric billionaire, I’d hire this guy to do this to me every morning while I stand there and eat my breakfast burrito.
You don't need to be a billionare, i bet this dude comes for about 20 bucks.
With my rocks out
@@kukaliemikalie8157 20 bucks for 30 min? Seems good.
You're a billionaire and still eating breakfast burritos???
@@lukeuseforce What? Do you mean billionaires cant eat burritos?
When you forget the presentation is due today and you have to prepare something last minute.
Surf Ninja Movie Vibe
Shit! What will I present to the board?
Got it! EGG CLEANSING. That's da ticket!
Archangel Michael:
We gotta get to Earth, guys, a kid with a ponytail is being rubbed with an egg.
Almost pissed myself
Other lesser angels: Okay yeah, but how's the lid lag? Or is he red in the face?
This comment made me laugh so hard I've fully woken myself up🤣🤣
I had tuned out until I heard about rubbing the body with an egg, then I was back to see dafuq is that?
Dont forget that head band😂
Such a wonderful man and healer, when I got jumped in to the crips he was actually part of the initiation, we worked on letting go of my past after the beating.
This guy is high on money. He's desperately trying to get another hit.
I audibly laughed at this comment 😂 thank you
outatanding comment lmfao
Fucking lol
"F'd in" or Beat in"? It's usually one or the other.
The Ninja Turtles are with you. The Justice League is with you. Chip and Dale, rescue rangers are with you, protecting you.
That's it... I lost it!
You sir, made my day!
Ive usually watched this video for ASMR for a few months and now you've ruined that hahahaha 😂
Bloody brilliant 🤣
you forgot the Gummi Bears
Im getting strong Sith Lord vibes from the female host.
"You've developed greatly since the time we met" 🤣
Palpatines sister maybe
Good, goood, let the healing float through you!
Do it, heal him
"Let the bullshit flow through you"
You can clearly tell he's a shaman because he's wearing a headband.
😂
See it was the feather that did it for me. Really sealed the deal.
As well as the traditional ritual baggy jeans pulled from the dirty clothes hamper.
Rubbing an egg on someone should be evidence enough!
Be honest though, he takes it off and he's just Larry.
“The eternal sandwich breath is blowing upon you, breathe it in, and I apologize for it.”
Ha! Best comment
😂😆
Hahhahahha
Samweeeej
Unintentional ASMR of this genre has to walk a fine line between relaxing mumbo jumbo and absolutely hilarious and for me when this guy started wildly waving feathers around this poor man it crossed that line and I couldn’t stop laughing.
The feathers were fine. It was rubbing the guy down with an egg that got me 😂
Missed out, man! Shoulda seen when Dancing Buffalo and Flopping Trout came it with Roman candles.
It was the spitting flowers that did it for me. The most violent florist I've ever seen!
You are right. In the Moment he picks up the second feather, i burst out laughing.
@@miketheperformer5972 this whole thread got me. Its hilarious
This video typically relaxes me but today I ventured into the comments. Now I'm wide awake and can't unsee things pointed out
It ruined your Asmr experience. Lol😂
You can tell Leonardo is his favorite ninja turtle.
SUPER COMMENT 🤣🤣🤝
I don't believe in any of this but I could watch this shit all day. Very relaxing.
This dude just brought some random stuff from his house and put this all together on the fly.
It's actually all materials commonly used in traditional limpia spiritual cleansing, which originates in South America.
@@NachtSchreck13 Have a day off will ya 🙄🤔
@@NachtSchreck13 sort of, not really, kind of but ok.
I don't personally believe in the ideas of energy fields, crystals, and angelic beings, but this guy seems so dedicated in his belief that I can't help but appreciate his sincerity. It's also solid ASMR
Solid ASMR? Sure I can see that. Sincerity? Oh please don't make me gag, this guy is about as sincere as a child with crumbs on it's face saying they didn't eat the cookies.
Woman in the chair be like"Good good, now kill him, only then will your training be complete"
"Do it!"
"Unlimited limpia!"
Dew it !!!
'Kill him. Kill him now'
Ironic
I was sceptical at first but when he pulled the feathers out and started waving them around like a semaphore expert having an epileptic attack, i was fully on board. This guy is the real deal. The headband absolutely proves it.
He literally offered him an egg in these trying times.
His constituents need to poison his ass!!
Touch of consumption
"The Gang Becomes Spiritual Healers"
Boiled denim
😁😁😁😁😁
Humans are sure as hell some interesting primates.
@@kurosakitagami2788 primates have some of the smallest penises in the animal kingdom...just throwing that out there.
@@MrBlack-vg8rv I think thats what he meant.
LMFAO
You guys make terrible comments
@@mrpinkbearevemunson6990 then why read them
Oh, God bless unintentional ASMR!
Roberto Navarro I think most Shayman ceremonies exploit the asmr as though it’s a sort of power or magic.
Just CZcams search limpias.
The ASMR is very much intentional. It gives weight to the “magic.”
And so be it, placebo is very powerful.
It's intentional, rest assured.
Glad I'm not the only one here for the asmr effects.
It's how I used to put my kids to sleep every night, two little active boys, I would just use the ASMR technique, gently rub their eyebrows, eyelids and the top of their forehead and woala. They are asleep in two minutes. Without it, it took forever, perhaps an hour or longer.
@@meriena I find a good judo chop works best.
under current restrictions there are two many
people including angels in that room
nice 😂....noooiiis
I watch this and cant help but think this is a calm hippie version of Michael from GTAV.
Gigantic Coma "KIFFLOM!!" 😁
Gigantic Coma F**king A right!
Yessss
The game that broke the world record for the amount of times someone said FUCK!
13:00
8:52 she is just like "Yas, yasssss"
Man, I miss those Public cable access shows. Awesome.
It's still on in AZ lol
Reminds me a of simple time before the covid 19 days....
These are the comments ive been looking for.
Pre 2319 days vs post2319
Back when you could spit flowers at a man and not get judged
when was this recorded, what year?
Yeah, I hear ya. I think this was back in the days of Covid 13.
Haha. 😔
- So how was your time with your aunt?
- I got to stand in the middle of the room, surrounded by colourful stones, and Prison Mike touched me with an egg and feathers
💀
I can't help but wonder how poor Kelly got roped into this bullshit. Only thing I can come up with is that his weird aunt promised she'd hook him up with some righteous weed.
You think prison is a joke? This shit saved me while I was in the clink!
10:48 Me when the smoke alarm goes off when I'm cooking.
I absolutely lost it at this part.
🤣🤣🤣
Brain: Got a day chocked full of interviews and errands starting at 830 am in 6 hrs.
Brain: Or or or or(and hear me out) you can be restless and start watching a white guy dressed like a crip do mesoamerican shamanic rituals with a tad bit of Christianity thrown in.
PERFECT.
I feel ya on this one.
LOL!
This might be my favorite comment I’ve ever seen on CZcams
BRUH, I'm rollin'
Who came here from the note taking purple granny healing guy video?
Guilty
Haha I did!!!!
Me Hahahaha
Ted Cruz. The College Years
Mike G nice!😂
Is it Ashton Kutcher? Nope its Kevin Malone, equally handsome equally smart.
It's Bill Murray.
Lmao
He does look like Ted Cruz... hahahahahaha
The ghost in the green dress is so sympathetic ... ❤️😂
This guy would have made millions in the medieval times
Not really, the holy church would’ve cracked down on his pagan rituals.
@@teddyspaghetti9566 🤣🤣
@@teddyspaghetti9566 Probably but the joke was that he's good enough for people to believe regardless of if he's good enough to actually do anything. I'm sure for mental health it helps as a placebo but in the medieval times people like this made a fortune.
i would have offered him a bag of wheat and my finest goat for a session.
Why do you think people in the Middle Ages were more stupid than we are today?
I watch ALOT of CZcams and asmr, and read ALOT of comment sections, and this is by far the funniest and there isnt a close second.
While this video and comments are great, I think there’s a solid contender - Unintentional ASMR Perfect Sandwich. The comments are phenomenal, and they even spill over into the Unintentional ASMR Italian Christmas video, lol.
I like this guy, he seems genuine and sincere with what he does unlike that one quack who is writing shit down and usually does his healings through the phone
He was in to chiro, as he said it himself. What do you expect. They use the same shit for everything. Leg measuring and cracking a few joints. "one leg is shorter by 32nd of an inch, imma wave my hands and massage your back for a little, that will help you"
@@rageagaintstheNWO Well the shorter leg thing can also be "solved" by a trick faith healers sometimes use where they loosen one shoe heel and then say "oh look its longer" and push the shoe back on so it looks fixed! It's a stupid trick but seems to work!
@@nick_steele9790 Because people are stupid.
…sounds like SOMEone didn’t have a wonderful response.
Saul is obviously a big quack and a conman but this guy aint no better with this "spiritual" bullshit
The scariest thing in this video is the facial expression of home girl in the back ground.
Yes it was awkward to watch her
Shes so turned on..
Yup check out her movement at 12:39😂
@@hughmungus1072 Okay I really did not need to see that.. That image will haunt me.. Good job,. :D
@@crankypest2617 hey why should I be the only one having nightmares... Welcome to the club! 😝
I can't believe comments aren't disabled, but I'm glad you're all here.
For some reason, whenever I feel stressed, I always want to watch this video. Can't help it.
Yeah he's such a positive guy and it's very relaxing despite being a pile dog shit theologically.
This is all hippie mumbo jumbo, but it is relaxing, especially when playing a game, or when reading a book.
8:53 that lady has sight beyond sight. Even with her eyes closed and a disturbing smile on her face, she can still see clear as day.
Pretty standard healing practice before being issued your navy suit for wahr.
Ute Uncle Barry ❤️ indeed!
Only real ones know😂😂😂
Tell me what this means plz?
@@tylerblomker3633 Journey on a quest my son. Start with Dr. James Kelly and you will find the answers you are looking for.
@@melgeezy3325 lol alright
I'd pay good money for this relaxation and positive vibes.
It's impossible to dislike this dude. He seems like such a good guy.
@@revan552 not all of these people know that they're scam artists, a scary amount of these healers actually believe they are healing somebody.
@@owenbush2991 yeah exactly. I get the impression this dude thinks he's doing stuff.
@@owenbush2991 which is even worse than purposefully scamming someone
Me too but only if I’m on peyote.
@@captainsponge7825 ehhhh debatable
I lost it when he started hopping around with the feathers 🪶 😆
“You being you is enough… so just keep it up!” Such profound words… 😂
Tautologies sound deep until you think about their meaning.
That theme music in the beginning was enough to cleanse my soul. So retro heavenly!
What is it about shamanic healing that is just asmr even to just watch.
That's the trick about these healings, its all ASMR
joeyzzzz Bingo. The relaxing effect of Asmr on the nerves and nervous system combined with the placebo effect makes for powerful healing.
@@diegojaraarredondo2791 Sucks to your asmr
Shamonic healings are suppose to be calm and relaxing thats why it triggers the asmr
@@RoachKai ok piggy ;) I got that reference lol
My name is Rick. I play banjo. It sounds like this. Ting ting tingaling ting ting ting! Ting ting tingaling tingalingaling!
"In his retirement, Solid Snake decided to practice shamanism, rubbing hippies with feathers and raw eggs."
‘I’m gonna use the egg’.
It was at this exact moment long haired nephew knew he’d fucked up by agreeing to come on Aunty Batshit’s internet show.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
4:22 "there's no belief system anyone has to believe"
*continues to mention angels and divine beings*
He never said u have to believe.
I'll believe in angels if they'll protect us from that creepy woman that hosts the show.
@@RooseveltsAllLivesMatter They can't stop her now. She knows too much of the old magics
But they're *nondenominational* angels from abrahamic religions....
see? FOR EVERYONE
who is christian or muslim or jewish
so ya know - all the right people. No fake religions here! No siree!
@@RooseveltsAllLivesMatter
I know I hate it when women don't look sexually appealing its disconcerting. Womens value is entirely based on wether I want to fuck them or not.
This shit is real... he's got a blue headband on.... it'z legit.
B M oh fuck you’re right
It's like a cartoon where somebody puts a lampshade on their head and goes unnoticed.
She was just watching him like "Oh yea Daddy Spread That Sage All Over Him"
This comment I laughed out loud for
8:54 I'll have what she's having
@@rhondaorberson9664 hahaha
Asmr cheek clapping.
You teased them in high school. This is them now.
This guy is great vibes, the ASMR you would get from this in person would heal a lot of negative emotions.
I keep coming back here. One of the best unintentional videos there is!
Yes, Archangel Michael took time out of his eternally busy schedule commanding God's armies in battle against the never-ending legions of demons to come down to New Mexico and oversee some quack rubbing an egg on a fool while another fool watches it in awe.
You forgot the other angels who are also there.
"Gabriel: Why are we here again?"
"Michael: Shut up and send him energy!"
"Azrael: Oh i give him energy, i show that egg so far up his ass, he's gonna vomit chicken"
Meanwhile Lucifer laughs his ass off somewhere.
"Powerful presence of Michael here"
"Michael: oh fuck off!"
🤣 for real tho
@@rageagaintstheNWO
Underrated comment
Arcangel Dominick Stompanato from Middle Village Queens is also here.
Legit lol
So much love to share
that woman siting is so still like a statue . also it was relaxing for the most part but I lost it at the feather part lol was funny
The feather ceremony works quite well in a business meeting. Try it in an important job interview. Although it surprises people they will respect you for the spiritual cleansing.
@@allybally0021 They'll call the authorities to have the feather waver removed.
I'd love to have a session with this person. He has really good vibes.
looks him up, he's on instagram and other social media, i think his sessions are something like $100+ for a full session
Expensive vibes
He needs to work out
@@wobblesman4316 Magic eggs ain't cheap
I also met Michael, he lives in a van down by the river.
This video is fantastic asmr. So relaxing. Why the hell didn’t this guy make more of these videos? In the asmr community a channel full of these types of videos would blow up huge!
It's too powerful for your average ASMR viewer to survive. CZcams changed the algorithm to save those poor souls so it wouldn't let him upload again. I'm sorry, my friend.
@@Ididntaskforahandleyoutube he has a youtube channel actually , with only one video tho
Man, this guy has been knocking me out
He has a hell of a right hook.
10:31 this will be the dance I perform for my lover on our wedding day
He'll love it.
7:15 - Lights a firecracker, drops it and runs away.
Why didn’t they do more of these??? this was so relaxing to watch!
Just save it and make it repeat
Arch angel zabkiel and uriel couldn’t make it again
Just crack an egg.
I've seen a channel of an older lady from Ecuador who does this kind of thing. I assume she's at least slightly more authentic, but it's still got lots of waving flowers at people and chanting and whatnot.
I agree with you. But it also gives me more ASMR because it makes him seem like a real authentic gypsy soul that doesn't care about content on CZcams lol. He seems authentic.
It was the little dance around him with the feathers for me.
I love this video too much. Been watching for years.
The feather thing kills me lol but it's to 100 % asmr and relaxes me every night
The host is the spitting image of the old hen looking for a husband in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.
Hahahahaha!! It’s funny cause it’s true, spot on!
Mike DeVivo Prissy.
BRO 😂😂😂
I have truly lived today.
Omg yes!
Whenever Im having a bad day I come to the comment section of this video, you all are hilarious!!!
Literally what I’m doing now
This guy was predicted by prophet saul shaye (may plenty of water and wonderful response be upon him)
The crazy feather dance is just too funny
All head band wearers need to be taken really seriously. Especially if colour co ordinated.
This is one of the craziness alternative healings I've seen, yet I find it one of the most relaxing.
Healing Vneck and divine too-long baggy jeans.
Activated.
Don't forget the headband.
Despite his wackiness, it looks like this guy actually studied how shamans especially from Latin America do it. If you watch latin american shamans doing limpias (spanish for cleanse or cleansing) they do similar stuff like the egg cleanse. Instead of a feather they may use herbs, and some recite prayers like this guy. Instead of spitting flowers some may spray alcohol with a lighter to create a fireball effect.
I dont question that he didn't research im pretty sure he did but stuff like this puts me off.but i dont blame people for searching for something better hope is a good thing and i hope the people who do this are happy
Watch your 🦆ing mouth Austin.
Rolling an egg on your skin... Salmonella joins chat. 🤣
I like the way he explained that we are not just our parents children.. we are a divine being.
Really made me think how much is connected to what happened in our childhood. How we hold onto things that we believe molded us..
You're on to something.
Well, we ARE the sum total of our experiences, and the people we knew do influence us at least slightly. We may or may not be divine, but all life has value.
@@mywifesboyfriend5558 - We are also, I think, the inheritors of 200,000 years of human tribulation & celebration, somehow. Carriers of an earthly misty mysticism.
@@mywifesboyfriend5558 - a very nice pseudonym, by the way. Far more creative than mine.
@@gives_bad_advice Thanks! It really pisses off people who don't get the joke.
I enjoyed my response.
host of the show just riding an immaculate vibe there in the back
Shout out to Kelly Van Dilla! Keepin it real for the angels…
This is the one people keep coming back for
I’m calling it now the lady in the back is a sith lord.
"Dew it!.."
What's that
A sith lord.....like the ones controlling Cuba in 1898, until the Rough Riders showed up and gave them what for.
@@RooseveltsAllLivesMatter preach Teddy
Luke im your vegan aunt (they/them).
he didn’t apologize for his sandwich breath, and not even the Doctor was red in the face. I am appalled.
This comment is amazing!! Lmao
Didn’t even ask for a navy suit for war.
So you’re here too karuna? 😂
i went golfing and i don’t even keep track of the dates anymore because things have changed
Love your videos even patron ones!
This guy used to work on the airport runway directed aircraft
12:39 all these comments but y’all missed the shimmy
Shit like this makes her drip.
@@MrSteveo114 I didn't need to be put in my mind, fuck you 😂
I like watching this video over and over
The combined amount of patchouli scent in that studio could calm a herd of elephants.
Did I just see dud spitting rose petals at 17:38. That's some powerful shit right there! I don't care who you are!
Jim Ditty In limpias done by native people in Ecuador they spit water on you several times
This is the shit we were doing before the Corona virus epidemic of 2020
"Doing good. Imma use the egg" 11:50. So damn relaxing tho.
Its the extremely asthmatic out of breathiness he ssys everything with that just tickles me to death.
"Imma use the egg, now bend over"
@@jean-lucpicard5510 lmfao
between the fusion of alternative healing and religious imagery, when he was talking about angels, I was thinking he would start saying Farrah Fawcett is here..
He completely destroyed the sacred circle with his clumsy footwork. The archangels are FUMING!
🤣 😆
Legend has it this dude laid hands on his neighbor's Trans Am and the oil leak completely disappeared.
I just got to "Archangel Micheal" F YES!! More fuel for the ASMR/Relaxation playlist!
This dude was like "Mom, will you come sit in the room with me when I go to see the healer? I'm scared."
You can really tell that he is a divine healer by his divine healer head band or divine healer tight shirt or divine healer shiny rocks
I have met the arch angels myself and I can confirm that what this guy is sayin is true! The arch angels help me every day. I will live forever on this earth thanks to them. I am 98 years old and still look like I am in my 30:s thanks to the angels. I cannot die.
😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻😂🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌🤣🤣🤣😂😂👍🏻👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
If I had wheels, I would have been a bicycle
Pressing X so hard right now.
So are you 101 now? Do you still look like you're in your 30s or is it the 40s already?
What no one realized is Asmodeus, Orcus, Belial and Yog-sothoth were also in the room
its Clear HE believes it...and if his clients buy it...then what we believe is ultimately meaningless....the asmr is real enough...very relaxing...and the test client is a good sport ..
interesting amalgamation of christian and native american culture with some lampia bits ...a quilt work of rituals
We normally just call that ba con job. Your description was good too though
Lol umm no ..charlatans should be exposed for who they are !
@@usamaansari8732 That being?
@@insaiyandbz466 frauds??
I think this guy spitting flower pedals at people was the real super spreader event