Lab Results - Cyanide & Happiness Shorts
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- čas přidán 2. 05. 2017
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Well, Mr. Watson, we have your lab results back. And, well...
Cyanide and Happiness delivers daily comics to your face-hole on www.explosm.net since 2005!
Credits:
Created By: Rob DenBleyker, Kris Wilson, Dave McElfatrick
Featuring Kevin Murphy
Directed By: Rob DenBleyker, Joel Watson
Screenplay By: Rob DenBleyker, Dave McElfatrick
Story By: Rob DenBleyker, Dave McElfatrick, Kris Wilson, Joel Watson, Michael Rousselet, Heather DenBleyker
Voice Actors:
Kevin Murphy - Doctor
Animation Director: Bill Jones
Animation: Bill Jones
Character Design: Jerald Lewis
Background Art: Shawn Coss
Animatic: Chelsea Kubesh
Editor: Thaddeus Grant Fenton
Assistant Editor: Taylor Ransom
Sound FX: Ben Governale
Assistant Sound Design: Samm Barrett
Music Arranged By: Steve Lehmann
Supervising Producer: Derek Miller, Greg Slagel
Produced By: Adam Nusrallah
Production Managers: Lowbrow Studios - Mike Parker
Production Assistants: Lorraine Bett, Autumn Netherton
Lyrics:
DOCTOR
Well, Mr. Watson, we have your
lab results back. And, well...
You’ve got...
Norovirus, hepatitis, tendinitis,
syphilis,
And salmonella, sickle cell,
a rash we don’t know what it is,
And toxoplasma, super asthma,
better go call Make-A-Wish.
You haven’t got much longer and I
haven’t finished half my list!
Your brain’s arthritic, blood’s
acidic, dick hole trickles pickle juice,
Your pancreas is gangrenous, my God
please never reproduce!
You’re seizure prone and every bone
inside your body’s cancerous.
Your joints go backwards, and I
lack words to explain how bad this is!
(spoken)
Except for these words!
Your taint’s inflamed, your anus
sprained, your every vein is
clogged with plaque,
Your spine’s a wreck, your throat’s
infected from your neck down to
your crack!
And all your poop is filled with lupus,
All your shit is out of whack!
Your heart’s diseased and full of
bees a single breeze could end your
measly-
Life and also measles, weevils,
fecal beetles, fetal alcoholic
syndrome, chronic symptoms common
to medieval people,
Your nose is blown, your back is
thrown, your cells have unknown chromosomes,
And kidney stones and loads of
Crohns and toenail cheese and pubic
fleas and leaky knees, and
athlete’s feet, and trucker’s butt,
one twisted nut, your liver sucks,
with any luck you’ll kick the
bucket soon enooooough,
Also you’re deaf. - Komedie
Captain America: Why can’t I join the Army?
The Recruiter:
Underrated comment 😂 I cackled
So true
I Ruined the likes
@@precisionpigeon9341 dont worry i fixed it. 666th like
So true
Him not seeing the deaf part shows that the doctor didn't practice the list and did it first try what a legend
What an absolutely mad lad
r/madlad
Disney movie in a nutshell
I didn't think about that. Nice.
@Sham Ram he must have been holding the clipboard with his thumb over the word 'deaf' the first time he read it.
"Shit is outta wack"
Professional medical terms.
Shit being outta whack is nothing to joke about my great grandfather died from that disease please be more considerate
@@asylumskp4391 Sorry
@@kimochi5009 Well, at least the inheritance bought a quite nice Lambo
@@asylumskp4391 I think this vid should be the last vid you should be seeing tbh
@@Flamefrosty Why?
This dude is literally the most resistant man alive, like he has every fatal plague known to man and every bone in his body is cancerous yet he still looks perfectly fine
Not only that he can even clap without breaking 17 bones.
It's because he doesn't play league
Being that this came out before the COVID breach and he has every fatal plague, how do you think he ended up getting it now?
He’s like Mr. burns
I gasped when he said he hasn’t finished her list
he isn't blind so hey at least he has that going for him
Lorenzo Campolongo "atleast you're not blind" *in sign language*
I'm sure he's thrilled about that
I was the 666th like
insert Helen Keller joke here
Lorenzo Campolongo also no HIV or AIDES! I think...
At least he doesn't have AIDS. So he's got that going for him.
Siphilis is AIDS. He has AIDS.
+TheMrGoodgamer u do know that syphilis and AIDS r 2 different things?
TheMrGoodgamer where are you getting that info from? Because it's completely wrong. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Sydrome. As in, your immune system is fucked up because you caught HIV. Syphilis is a completely different disease.
AIDS affects the immune system making you susceptible to disease, syphilis is an std that affects the skin and eventually can lead to organ damage
At least no one hurt his dick
I love how the “deaf” is circled. They knew he’d try to do this so they wanted to make sure he knew before he delivered the news. Apparently he didn’t read all the way through.
The fact that he did not know suggests that he did not read it at all and just improvised the entire song.
If the lab people were aware, they did either their worst or most hilarious job in their history.
His Minecraft achievement is “How did we get here”.
Do you have 90 minutes?
@@messyalien5164 ah a fellow man of high culture i see
@@anxiolf9736 hey is this irish Street? Or did a I make a wrong turn at space is cool
@@thatphonebastard uhh this isnt Irish street but i can link you there
@@anxiolf9736 nah I'll just wonder around till I find it
If I am dying, this is how I want to be told
but are you deaf?
MULAN SzeChuan Teriyaki Dipping Sauce I cant hear you what
NoCumBacks well since your dying anyway, go see a doctor!
NoCumBacks You're the best account on iFunny!
Noice Thanks fam :)
Boy: my arm hurts
Doctor: hold my beer....
Spuderman 😂
Spuderman 😂
spuderman😂
Spuderman 😂
Spuderman
ion get it
“Also you’re deaf!”
That’s the point where I just couldn’t.
You just couldn’t.
But what if he could
@@Mediados then he would
@spicywatermelon cause he should
In the hood.
I like how the doctor even shows him some of the diseases in the beginning and the dude still doesn't think somethings wrong
Dude was just happy to get a show while at the hospital...and then
@@dropkickpherby6994 it's like when the Avengers come visit you In the hospital, at first your so excited but then your realize why they're there
Well, showing the pictures without the context is pretty difficult
well yeah because if your doctor is hopping and dancing around the room and occasionally pointing at fucked up medical diagrams which are you going to focus on? lol
I mean, if my doctor is dancing I'll assume that the results came back negative
Nobody:
Medicine commercial: Side effects may include...
Pill advertisement for depression
Side effects 0:06
Most accurate comment I've read on a while LOL
Play it at 2x speed for the true experience.
@@cherrycoyote55 try 0:07?
@@SlyFunkyMonkey 0:06 is better
Nobody can rap faster than Eminem
Doctor: give me his lab results
Modern Major General: Step aside good doctor
it's gilbert and sullivan you uncultured swine
Should have gone to Dr Dre.
Doctor: hold my lab results.
Dude your name is 15 secs and I thought you got all these likes in 15 SECONDS
i feel like ive watched this a thousand times yet it never gets old.
That's the power of Kevin Murphy
Holy shit finally someone else noticed
Neither will that patient
Also your deaf
Agreed
The side effects at the end of a medical commercial:
If Disney owns a hospital
Disney wasn't even born when this was written
...? Disney's been dead for years. How could he NOT have been born before this?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pirates_of_Penzance
Because the tune is "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" by Gilbert and Sullivan, written in 1879, and Disney was born in 1901.
Khalid Faisal Lmaoooo XDD
When your head hurts and you ask Google...
Nicolino Ricolino you should ask them how to spell *ask
No matter what it is, You have cancer
Nicolino Ricolino god that is me in a nutshell
Sad Boi their is nothing wrong with it
Oh yeah yeah He edited the comment
Not enough props are given to Kevin Murphy for singing this. This feels right at home in a skit on MST3K.
Now I want to see Tom dancing around trying to over explain a runny nose to Mike or Joel
He was deaf but still clapped to the beat
What a legend
This doctor is the very model of a modern surgeon-general
Infinite Scratch ahhh pirates
Or an Anamaniac
More like major funeral.
Mordin is pleased.
Hamilton reference I see, no?
- Nurse, where are you taking me?
- To the morgue.
- But I'm alive!
- Well, we're not there yet!
xD
-Wait What? Your not gonna kill me are you?
-No but (the video) Will
Awesome comment, lol 😂
That sounds like something out of Monty Python
@@deviantsemicolon618 you sold me a dead bird
The greatest example of dark humor in my opinion.
You know it's bad when your doctor walks in with an orchestra
when u havent gone to the doctor in over 20 years
Thank Obama
Naw tetanus is extremely rare. And if you do get it you'll die before you even know what was wrong. I see no losses.
Lolol
so I decided to look at what this guy has, along with a brief summary of everything:
Norovirus - Intense Vomiting (depends on what is eating and drank, courtesy of Tobben Jees)
hepatitis (doesn't specify what kind so assuming all of them) - Liver infections, inflammations out teh ass
tendinitis - tissue connecting muscle to bone becomes inflamed
syphilis - ulcers, sores (genital), gummas
salmonella - diarrhea, fever, chills, abdominal pain
sickle cell - prone to infections, bodily pain and fatigue
rash
toxoplasma - muscle pain, fever, and headache
super asthma - difficulty breathing, chest pain, cough, and wheezing
brain's arthritic - clouded consciousness
blood's acidic - Acidosis causes some of the others symptoms, coma possible, weakness, arrhythmia, shortness of breath, headache, coughing (courtesy of Nguyen)
dick hole trickles pickle juice - loss of control with bladder
the pancreas is gangrenous - upper abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting
seizure prone - difficult to control body at times
every bone cancerous - dull aching pain (possible)
joints go backward - very difficult to move
taint's inflamed - perineum inflamed
anus sprained - pain, swelling, muscle spasms, limited ability to move
every vein is clogged with plaque
spine is a wreck - scoliosis?
your throat's infected from the neck down to your crack - that's not your throat anymore, that's your digestive system. Stomach, intestines
poop is filled with lupus - probably has lupus then - fatigue, joint pain, rash, fever
heart's diseased and full of bees - lots of blood clots
measles - cough, runny nose, inflamed eyes, sore throat, fever, and a red, blotchy skin rash
weevils - grain pest, why the hell they in this guy
fecal beetles - why the hell this guy got beetles in his ass
fetal Alcoholic syndrome - learning disabilities, bone and joint deformities, heart defects, and hyperactivity
chronic symptoms (doesn't specify so assuming all of them) - none of this is going away
nose is blown - HE CAN BREATHE THROUGH HIS NOSE MAYBE
back is thrown - scoliosis then
cells have unknown chromosomes - down syndrome and/or Klinefelter (some variant of them)
kidney stones - hurts to piss
loads of Crohns - abdominal pain, diarrhea, weight loss, anemia, and fatigue
toenail cheese - his feet smell really bad
pubic fleas - extremely itchy legs and arms, red swollen lumps which can develop into blisters or wounds, can cause infections
leaky knees - baker's cyst - Symptoms can include pain, swelling and tightness behind the knee can lead to DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis)
athlete's foot - rash that usually causes itching, stinging, and burning
trucker's butt - the flattest ass
one twisted nut - a LOT of pain
liver sucks - Yellowed skin and eyes (jaundice) along with belly pain and swelling
deaf - can't hear anything
Is too much the right answer?
Cause I'm pretty sure that's the only answer.
Zachary Jensen you got the sickle cell part right cause I actually have it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Zachary Jensen atleast now I know I'm not the only one who does dumb things in my spare time
Ha! I have lupus
I had a twisted nut 3 years ago it hurt so fucking much
The cord that goes from the testicle got wrapped around it therefor is got bigger and really red but as it was trying to get bigger the cord was still wrapped around it so i took some pills and somehow pills unwrapped a cord strangling my testicle
I bet this guy was just watching his doctor dance around and just went "Ah hell I don't wanna be the one to stop him."
“Poop fill with Lupis”
-Doctor
Why can't all doctors be like this?
Dr. Mordin Solus is!
lost him in ME2 on my first run, played another run to get him back
Cus some of them lost their medical license
That's Dr. zed
It would be really sad to hear
Watched it on Mute for full effect
Lude Crestfallen tried it. Made me wonder how he missed all the charts at the beginning. And why he isn't clapping in sign-language.
Well, considering the doctor's singing happily, he might presume he's just singing about different ailments in general.
Not like the patient will be able to see the small print of his name on the X-rays slides - even if deafness could improve vision
the joke is that he was deaf.
Tried it too that was annoying
recino2 there is no sign language clapping
1.25 speed would be the tempo of “I am the very model of a modern major general”
you actually made me go back and watch it in different speeds. GG.
watching what happens after the song at 0.5 seconds is also super funny
Kevin Murphy is a national treasure.
This is the best fucking Cyanide and Happiness short ever made
No shit. You know what song its based off of?
Cole Fiore what is it?
Leo Fisher The Major General's Song from Pirates of Penzance. It's one of the most famous and parodied songs in classic musical theatre, an extremely famous use of patter, which makes this cartoon even more impressive
For me this is tied with John Battman, but yes, either this or that. Depends on what mood I'm in, I guess.
Nah, Confession is still the greatest
Turn off sound to hear the song through the patients point of view
I actualy did it
It's more clear now
Just looks like a happy tune...
I understand now
I don't understand how he was clapping away, I didn't know what was happening when I turned the sound off
the transition of seeing "deaf" and realizing " deaf"🤣.
The guy who handed the report to the doctor must be a damn good writer, able to creat a flawless song out of so many diseases. Also props to the doctor, who sang it perfectly first try (he read it first time cause he didn’t know he deaf)
"How long do i have?"
"10"
"10 what?"
"9, 8, 7,..."
An oldie but a goodie 😄
That is a joke from Deadpool
that was the worst dad joke I have ever heard
lol
**blows up**
It could be worse.
He could be blind as well.
Thanks Horny fruit flies
I mean he can see the guy dancing and the list
But he read the list and became sad
Or Corona
not that it matters now
I just respect the guy who wrote the subtitles
Patient: “Give it to me straight doc, what is it”
Doctor: “*yes*”
Doctor: I can't give it to yous straight, we're both guys.
Patient:...
Doctor: Also, I don't want to catch Ebola.
doctor:be patient
"*yes*"
Whay
What
When your head hurts just a little bit so you decide to google what's up with you
My condoleances...XD
uamagerd hey Burny
hey
Hi Burny! Didin't expect to see you here.
yes
I love how he circle the deaf like earlir he was "ok this is important" and forget anyways.
Kevin Murphy!!! From MST3K!! I knew I recognized his voice. Best show ever!
Well at least he's not blind
atleast he's not black**
Mikkel Kulmbach really?
lmao
Mikkel Kulmbach thats internet for yall -_-
Raditya 786 (plays Seinfeld theme)
*sneezes*
*goes to yahoo answers*
0:06
HAHAHA
Unreasonably underrated comment. :'D
We don’t know what it is?
Arsabx webmd actually
health teachers when you say this class doesn't matter because I can go to the docters
What bing comes up with when you say you have a slight cough:
*Me: coughs once.*
*Google symptoms:*
Doctor: You have 1 minute and 37 seconds to live
Me: What are my symptoms again?
Doctor:
Sorry I mist the last secand
Mastering Thunder sorry I forgot how to spell second.
@@masteringthunder2861 how old are u 2?
The last 20 seconds were you crying
He's deaf
The tune to this song is... *infectious*
I'm really sick of these cancerous puns.
ba-dum CHEE!
Totally Sickening.
Gerald P It's the melody from The Very Model of a Modern Major-General from Pirates of Penzance. 's'classic.
It is originally the Major-General song from Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. Been parodied many times, but I recommend looking up the original.
This will forever be the greatest Cyanide and Happiness short.
With all that shit going on with him, even if he was deaf, you'd think he'd look even a little under the weather
This is top tier C&H, good work
THANKS BUDDY
Rob DenBleyker Really good EP ☺️
Toro is in the middle of an argument with me
Only at the last moment he realised he was deaf
Which means he improvised the whole song
Or he forgot he was deaf
@@toast3374 how could he forget when it's in a RED CIRCLE
I’ve seen plenty of clickbaity thumbnails with red circles and I have forgotten all of them.
@@imabird1566 nice one
But diring the backwards joints, the leg went backwards
literally how is this man still alive
One of the few rappers Eminem was afraid to diss
1:13 me when seeing exam results
Rahman Serajur good one.
When I look at my College tests results.
Doctor=teacher
You are the blue shirt guy
So basically its your teacher saying you had a perfect score then he double checked and you actually got an F
FB I a bit too early
Ohh snaap the cops are here quick RUN!!!!!!
*"My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up"* Said a wise man once...
Alex Aguirre I am handycapable of anything
Alex Aguirre I am handycapable of anything
No means no!
Alex Aguirre I AM HANDICAPABLE OF MATH
Alex Aguirre Watch me lift and punch this sack. My disabilities can't hold me back.
Favorite Line
"Your Heart's Diseased and full of Bees."
This is the funniest short they've made. Change my mind.
I didn't think he would survive for 98 seconds.
im pretty sure he cant speak..since he`s deaf
akira amano Please tell me that was a joke.......
even seen a deaf from born person can speak properly ???
akira amano yes.
also if he needed freaking LAB RESULTS to check out he is deaf it seems he is not deaf from birth
Argha Saha I
Me: **Stubs my toe**
WebMD: *YOU NEED TO AMPUTATE YOUR LEG IMMEDIATELY*
Da Dragon Durp relatable
Da Dragon Durp its always u
Superdarkcloud666 waw. xD
Da Dragon Durp WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?!
GeronimoGuy
I don't know and I wanted cookies.
Me: Its just a cough
Mom: Its just a cough
Doctor: Its just a cough
*GOOGLE:*
You’ve got...
XD
@Noah Cook both
Salute to the writers and the singer!
That's the power of Kevin Murphy
1:15 when u see ur exam results after thinking that u will pass
The Dark Craft Rises so true
The Dark Craft Rises Yes.
HAHAHAHA you're so funny!!😒
SodaDuck McFarland it's the truth accept it
SodaDuck McFarland Your bad sarcasm was made worse by the emoji.
Why is it so catchy. I have heard it a million times now.
M V-PlAyEr this is my 37th time resetting because it's just so awesome
Same lol
Animaniacs.
Dan Cojocaru pretty sure it's the tune for modern major general
10 times seen 😆
I love how the doctor was singing his patient's symptoms and ended the song by saying mr watson is deaf and his eyes were shocked by what he saw on the paper. Idk why it's funny when you're singing about health issues,but this is pure comedy gold.
The fact that they circle the "deaf" part indicate that the doctor do that everytime
Me: *coughes for once*
Parents: You're ok
Doc: You're ok
Google:
Google: You have Corona virus and will die in 5 hours
🤣🤣🤣
The original song is from “I am the model of a modern major general”
Thanks. You just saved me so much trouble.
Gordon Freeman sings the song the best
The venerated Virginian veteran
Wow 99 likes. I'm suprised
I am the hundredth like!
Oddly one of the only songs I can listen to over and over again without it getting old.
Charles II of Spain in a nutshell.
Me: *Finding the best way to make a virus in Plague Inc*
Lol
Your plague has developed 0:07
Dickhole trickes picklejuice.
The clipboard actually list the lyrics
*RESPECT+*
*angry description noises*
@@jackgibson511
Ain’t that wacky? 😳
Do you think he practice this right before he came into the room
You'd think they would just be scribbles.
I love the lack of detail in the 'Liver sucks' entry 🤣
What an absolutely legendary short. I keep coming back to this one and The Homestead. I love the musical ones!
I like how they put "Also you're deaf".Not trying to sneak it in,or incorporate it in the words.Its just,"also you're deaf."
i dont know if im more confused on him clapping to the beat or why he's not dead yet
He was clapping because he had no idea what the doctor was saying because he's death
Alan Cajamarca *deaf
if hes deaf he cant hear the beat?
Zacuree he can feel the vibrations
I listened to this with the valume muted so I can see how the other guy saw it
The most unlucky guy in the world
Jax mac321 no,that role goes to sad larry
Jax mac321 also his lucky that his deaf he wont hear all that
Have you even been on this channel before? XD
Jax mac321 well actually its brine not juice
That right
Watching F is for Family, also featuring Kevin Murphy
"Your cells have unknown chromosones"
dude this is the best line i was rolling on the floor
lol
Kevin Murphy is the very model of a modern general practitioner.
Mordin.....
WebMD when you type "slight cough"
R Booth I actually just laughed out loud
Its always great to hear Kevin Murphy doing comedy.
What I expect when I’m bit by a small, harmless spider vs what actually happens
Lesson: Don't diagnose yourself on the internet
Me:i got punched in the nuts and my nuts
Google: you have Aids Also your penis is rotting
WebMD: The Musical
™
yes
The fact that he knew he was singing a song even though he’s deaf is even funnier than the doctor finding out he’s deaf 😂
The end was everything.
Meanwhile in the Lab: HOW DID HE GET THOSE THINGS????
（╯°□°）╯︵(\ .o.)\
That must be how they look like
He played fork knife so his parents didn’t vaccinate him
Drugs. Stay away, kiddies.
Plague Inc
Simple he decided to take a trip through a nuclear reactor and found a nice glowing play toy XD
Try watching this again muting your sound
That was a trip. It actually made it kind of super sad.
That wasn't fun
That was... Revealing.
Soichiro Hiroshima I suddenly get the clapping
I just can´t do it´s just too good!
I showed this to my doctor and she chuckled.
modern major general is truly a marvel of tempo. you can put just about any words into it and it sounds great.
this is by far my favorite cyanide and happiness short
I like the one with Lunk
I tried and even with no sound I noticed my result was bad
Dark humor to the extreme lmao
The only thing that could make it darker is if the lab coat was black and if batman had a cameo during the song
The fact the patient is still alive with all those afflictions amazed me
😂
IKR how can you survive a twisted nut and those other minor ones
Its explosmENTERTAINMENT
The patient’s name? Charles II of Spain
Achievement unlocked: how in the-
if you watch thiss muted, it sounds like the doctor's delivering great news
I can't believe it's been 3 years 😂, still one of the best videos you've made.
*_Doctors are like snooze buttons for death._*
also sounds badass
Daniel Fernandez ;)
Stop advertising your channel with these comments.
Povilas Kazakas stop advertising your channel with these responses
+Povilas Kazakas Just because he makes videos himself he's not allowed to post comments on other videos? That's not how it works, mate.
I hate spam just as much as you, but this is not a spam comment.
Kevin Murphy's singing will never not entertain me.
You should watch the new season if you haven't yet.
Do you mean the second season of the Cyanide and Happiness show? If Kevin Murphy's in it, I'm subscribing to Seeso right now.
I think he means the new MST3K.
Yea I meant MST3K
I feel like they need to make an updated version with everything that's happened this year.
I've watched it 33 times and it's even more fun
you would do a 10 hour version please
me: my head hurts
web md: *this song*
HAHAHAAHAHAHAH YESS SO TRUE!!😂😂
according to google have........Folliculitis