r/TraumatizeThemBack - Ultimate Revenge 💀🔥
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- čas přidán 8. 01. 2024
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The “boys will be boys” kid reminds me of the one time I got suspended. 4 older boys ganged up on me, and I managed to hold my own, hit one guy between the legs to give myself an opening to get out. The school called my mom in and told her that I was being suspended for a day because their 0 tolerance policy said that anyone involved in a fight got suspended. So my mom looked the principle in the eye, and told him “if you are honestly telling me that you are suspending her for defending herself from FOUR older boys, then I’m taking her out for ice cream.” This was the woman that taught me never to start a fight, but always finish it.
oh the damn 'everyone involved gets punished' I hated it. w/o punishing more the person who provoked you. It gives children and teenagers such a sense of injustice in this world. (Your mum is GREAt though! XD)
LMAO the way she ended her sentence tho, so badass it's like "I'm not gonna do anything to you or about what you're doing, but she will not be affected in the wrong way for doing the right thing" so cool and awesome we love it
we love your mom
I love your mom. 😂 Good on her, and good for you!
@@OrontesRM yep, it's bullshit. A school in my district growing up had to change that policy after a 6th grader was punched unconscious by a few 12th graders. Apparently it's not a good look to suspend a kid for being beat up by adults (end of the year, they were 18) and hospitalized.
The extra stupid thing was their definition of "involved in a fight" also included anyone watching. On the premise that if you run to watch a fight you are encouraging that fight. This included if the fight started by someone being thrown onto your lunch. It happened to one of my sisters friends. She managed to successfully fight it...after her parents threatened to sue the school.
nobody ever said boys will be boys to you and your just lying
Here’s one of my favorite family stories- My grandfather was a teacher and one of his students was being sexually harassed during a lesson he was teaching. The guy behind her was pulling at her bra and trying to unhook it. She went to my grandfather and asked him to make the dude stop and instead he told her “punch him”I’ve been told in VIVID detail how she literally grinned and skipped back to her seat. Halfway through the lesson he tried reaching his hand down her back again and she turned around and sucker punched him in the JAW. He fell backwards out of his seat and was just staring in shock. He immediately shouted for my grandfather to punish the girl and started making a huge scene and my grandfather just waited for his rant to be done and said “you deserved it for provoking her. Cover your face, because girls like to punch creeps and if you didn’t want it, you shouldn’t have asked for it.” It’s a family legend 😭 I miss my grandfather he was so iconic and although you couldn’t get away with it now, I’m glad he could in the 70s
I like it. Very fair.
Best grandpa
Great story to remember your grandfather by. Thank you for sharing.
Mad respect
Grandpa is the goat
With the sexual harassment thing and all that: THEY ONLY ever picture women they are attracted to whenever they talk about womens issues. "Women don't get rejected"
Buddy, most women are not that supermodel you're picturing."
"I'd like to be harassed"
"Yes, Carl, and I'd like to be stalked by a super hot vampire who's deeply in love with me, but first starts out as my enemy so we can live out our enemies-to-lovers arc. But in reality, it's not so fun because I'm not in control of the narrative."
THIIIIS
@sageseeker9197 hahaha fuck yesssssss
True that.
I'm going to play devil's advocate for a moment. Disclaimer: I do not advocate for harming other people in any way.
for context, I have difficulties understanding emotions and I have severe undiagnosed ASPD. What you said is completely true, but I would still like to be harassed or tortured. Simply because I am extremely curious how it would feel. Yes, I could ask the internet or victims, but I wouldn't be able to fully satiate my curiosity without personally experiencing it. Aside from that, some forms of harassment are a kink that some people enjoy (it's not quite the same without consent, but still . . .)
TLDR: What you said is absolutely correct for most people, but some people don't care about that.
PS. I would like your comment, but it's at an even 700 right now and I don't want to mess that up.
Tbh, i am messaging this girl and she doesnt even say to stop messaging her. I ask a question, she answers. She asks a question, i want more info on how she wants it answered, she gives me the info and i answer. We became friends rq after she asked if i was a robot and i send her this captcha (or how it is spelled) marked. (She asked for proof and that was my response).
I always liked the story about how my mom got her mother to stop slapping her. She was raised in the '50s/'60s when smacking your kids was "no big deal." Whenever my mom would get "mouthy" with her mother my grandma would slap her across the mouth. So I guess one day my mom and grandma had a particularly rough spar and my mom was forced to sit in the living room chair while my grandmother basically had her pinned by standing over her and getting in her face (my mom was around 13 at the time). My mom said something my grandma thought was "mouthy" and, of course, slapped my mom across the mouth. So my mom slapped _her_ across the mouth. My grandma was furious and told my mom it wasn't okay for her to hit her mother. "But it's okay for a mother to hit her daughter?" "I'm trying to get you to stop shouting." "I slapped you and you're still shouting." My grandma just kinda blinked at my mom. "Doesn't work, does it?" My mom said calmly. Grandma walked away and never hit my mom again after that.
Yeah. Always ridiculous to me how parents will use the same punishments again and again and again in order to try to get their kids to change their behavior a certain way, and never even ONCE process that the behavior showing up again means that THE PUNISHMENT ISN'T WORKING. Punishments in general don't work, a lot of parents don't actually love their kids and you can sadly tell this because when confronted about whether they would rather their child obey them out of fear or love, most will respond with "My way is working." which just means "I don't care how my actions affect my kid, I just want them to obey." Makes me wanna cry that these people prefer obedience over having a healthy and loved child.
They are justifying hitting their child because they are angry, like when a partner gets angry at you and hits you.
@@LaraKim There's so many outlets for anger, too, which makes it even more stupid. It means they just want to hurt a living being to get some sort of satisfaction of having control or "putting them in their place" or some ridiculous bs like that.
If it's a abuse to hit your partner, it goes doubly so for a child.
@@astraamarante6233 Punishment, as a whole, doesn't work.
having consequences for actions are fine, but there is a very fine line between something being a consequence and something being a punishment.
A consequence is a way to teach the child why an action isn't alright, but it is ONLY supposed to do that. Getting your phone taken away because you were texting past bedtime? is a consequence as it is in order to help the child.
Breaking the phone? Punishment. You don't NEED to do that. The only reason you would go out of your way to break it would be to punish your child and show the power you have over them. It is pathetic, and parents/teachers/adults as a whole should get it into their thick fucking skulls.
It is fine that there are consequences for the children's behavior, but it needs to be fitting and something you could easily argue is, in the end, for the child's betterment.
My dad's not gay but he's an ally, and the drag bars always had the best vibes. My dad would pretend to be the really pushy gay guy to scare away the creepy men that harassed the lesbian woman. He found it hilarious, and loves causing harmless chaos
I salute your dad 🫡
Your dad dropped this 👑
@@pissapocalypse I'm honestly not boasting but he's the everyone's dad or brother sort of guy. He used to escort blind drunk people home, or people who were scared to walk home, and watch out for people spiking. My mum was the type to drag them out the door. 😂 I don't know how I turned out to the boring antisocial one
I have a friend who I call dad. (Lgbt found family dynamics)
He has told me if there's a guy like that give the creep his number.
The creep isn't gay but dad is. (Well he's pan but leans towards men and or anybody buff).
I also have personally the killer line "oh I know how dick feels, there's a reason I have been to the ER for wanting to chop it off"
Your dad is the chaotic good we need in this world!
As a man harassed in the workplace by a female boss, it is not good, it is not even about “intergender fun”, it is about power and humiliation.
I'm terribly sorry this is happening. Do you have peers at work that are aware of the situation? Especially if they are women, they might be able to help, even just to have an eye on you and and having witnesses willing to support. By all means, find ways to check in with others. You can go and ask them how they perceived the situation and tell them how it is you you, possibly asking for advice if they have ideas how to communicate that.
You may even want to consider communicating it with the boss, depending on the case. Aka there are instances where ppl are blatantly unaware of how their actions impact others. And then there's intention, so that's another topic. Please take care and eventually consider your options of switching departments or companies etc.. It can be helpful to remember that the prolonged stress can literally kill you slowly and thus it IS important for you to attend to yourself timely.
Worst pet is that men mostly don’t get taken seriously either. I hope you’ll find another job or that your boss gets fired.
@xhbn2157 it's always funny to me when people assume that one type of harassment doesn't happen to the other gender, or that it's less harmful because it happens less often to people who aren't even mildly expecting it. Yes, harassment happens to people in general. Yes, certain types happen more often to certain types of people. No, it's not only to those people. Yes, it is shit that people have to be prepared to recieve different forms of harassment on a regular basis and have plans ready to deal with it. No, not having a plan to deal with such an event doesn't mean that the person deserves it in any way. The amount of times we've all seen these things put in various ways is astounding and frustrating at least to me.
there was a comedy movie that I saw commercials for where the entire joke was that the female boss was sexually harassing a male worker. that isn't funny at all. horrendous.
I’m honestly convinced that men will say that very specifically because they haven’t experienced it and therefore don’t have a very good frame of reference for how different it feels to casual flirting. Lots of them seem to assume that a woman harassing them will feel very similar to a woman being super confident and initiating flirting. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, and I hope there is a road you can take to make it stop that is easier than changing jobs. Best wishes 😕
7:48 My favorite related quote:
"In order to be a pacifist you must be capable of great violence. If you aren't capable of violence, you aren't a pacifist, you're harmless."
Holy shit I was not expecting to find such insanely true words in a CZcams comment section?? Any source for that quote or is it more just paraphrasing things you've heard/thought generally???😮
I don't know where the quote is from, but it sounds like something someone would hear in martial arts. Loved it!
I believe that's an old Buddhist warrior quote, but I'm probably mistaken.
@@lindadelorme5117
Today I learned! Thank you
@@lindadelorme5117 literally ruined it for me, I wish I didn't know who said it
Reminds me of a tweet where the OP, a 33yo childless woman, was told how she “better get on that” regarding having kids, and told the other person she’d had seven miscarriages.
I actually haven't had miscarriages, but I swear I think I'm going to say that to the next person who tells me I'll regret not having kids one day.
My favorite part of that was "and I hope we've learned a lesson about asking inappropriate questions"
As a 28 year old woman that has already had four miscarriages, I hear this stupid load of crap all of the time (mostly from other women btw). It's not anyone's decision what MY future will look like
@KATMEOW-zq6bt I started getting very snarky with responses. I settled on one I'll share with you, mind you, it started a huge fight once, and will kill any conversation that others are having 😄 🤣 😂 😆
"Well the last one only lived to 20 weeks and then I miscarried but wouldn't 'eject' so I had to have a DNC. My doctor said I need to wait 6 weeks to try again for a higher likelihood that the baby *might* survive. Stress from people asking me 24/7 is only going to decrease our chances, so let's focus on our own lives please. "
It worked every time, and I had my son a year after my last miscarriage.
People don't understand how hard it is for the body to make an embryo that will survive growing all the way.
There are so many reasons our body says Nope never mind, and NONE of them have ANYTHING to do with YOU or YOUR choices!! 💕 💞
@@B.Harper7 congratulations on the bab! I've decided to get my tubes tied and burned for multiple reasons and when I tell people that their response is always, but why would you want to do that? And they become genuinely confused. And I just look around at the rate of divorce, and women that constantly vent about shared custody with the crap Dad and the state of men in general especially now with Andrew Tate and Trump and I'm just like 😶? Now I always respond with, why would you not want to do that?
People often do a "I've slept with your mom" kinda jokes with me. My mom was a dark joker. Each time I say, "You know, I don't kink shame but doing that with a deceased person is a crime..." and they shut up. She would be proud.
Bless her soul and bless yours honestly. I have done that joke even if my mom's alive and well, and when I told her in a few cases she said something like "what the hell" and then after after a pause "are you gonna kill me??" like brruuuhhhh my mom's too innocent fr
i think my mom would love that joke!!
she once told me that she had a joke she would tell to guys when she was younger (and more conventionally beautiful) abt a pair of guys who went on a vacation somewhere, separated and did different things, one bathed in a beautiful pond and the other found a woman tied to train tracks and had sex with her. the guy who took the bathed asked if she gave good head and the other one said “idk i couldnt find the head”
she says the reactions she would get were priceless, nobody ever expected it from her since she was so pretty
I love it. My mother's alive, but she's also a bitch. So I just ask why they want to have sex with an asshole.
my friend got that "I'll go f**k your mom" and she just replied "oh? did you get tired of doing your own?" in a matter of fact kind of way. The flustered stuttering of the creep was hillarious.
That. That's one perk of your mom being long-dead.
In all seriousness though, sorry to hear that.
I once read a story about a child who was being bullied for being adopted who had THE perfect clap back: “My parents chose me. Yours are just stuck with you.”
A CLASSIC we love that
that one is golden
I was actually thinking about that when the adoption one came up in the vid XD
My younger sister is adopted. I like to tell people that our parents had me, then said, "Yikes! Let's adopt the next one so we know what we're getting!" 😀
@@WarpigA23 self-burn too hard 💀💀
"Don't underestimate kids! They're smarter than you think!!"
-- Sideshow Bob while being arrested after Bart Simpson figures out & exposes Bob's scheme to frame Krusty
dude that "You're so skinny!" one hit me hard, people are constantly complimenting me on something I hate because my weight is NOT healthy. The one time i got fed up with it I told the person that my weight was a direct result of a negative environment that taught me not to eat much growing up and my organs are close to failing if I don't manage to put on weight, which is really difficult to do.
I had an illness about a decade ago that made me lose a lot of weight, and I was genuinely scared I was going to die. Every “you look so good/fit” was so burdensome. I didn’t want to answer with a “thanks, I might be dying” but now I wish I had, the reactions would have been priceless. Am doing better now, still dealing with some of the health issues but I’m healthier than I was.
Depression was my number one reason for weight loss. I'd go days without eating and lying in bed, crying my eyes out.
I have bad ADHD and I often forget meals (my mother is a saint for how often she makes plates for me, without her I would probably die of malnutrition) but if someone makes a comment on my weight I would be very tempted to make up a story about some horrible condition I have that’s slowly eating away at me (which I do, just not weight wise)
I have a story that's the complete opposite. I was at the doctor's office because my little brother had an appointment. I was waiting in the waiting room (it was just me and an older woman that I was talking to) when an older man came into the room. He sat down and took one look at me. He said to himself (quite loudly) that "I should be ashamed of myself for getting pregnant." and "Young girls will do anything for sex." I was 12 and slightly overweight. I was so close to crying. The old woman took me to one of the receptionists and told me to wait there. I did what I was told. This old lady started berating this old man. All I heard was yelling. Some security came and escorted them both out of the room. I am forever grateful for that old woman.
"It's not an AI. I'm just Autistic."
I DIDNT NEED TO BE TARGETED TODAY WOW
I got one that goes right along with this. My wife and I suffered a stillbirth. we were going to planned parenthood for grief counseling. however, while it is generally known that planned parenthood offers counseling, people tend to focus on their much smaller business of abortions. this was back before Roe V Wade was appealed.
Well, we were going in for counseling, shoving through the crowd of protestors, when one of them slapped my wife. I grabbed his shirt and loudly screamed "WE ALREADY LOST OUR CHILD I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY WIFE AS WELL!" Everyone shut up and my wife ran inside. at the door I turned back and explained that we were there to work through our own S-cidal thoughts less than an hour after picking the urn we wanted our own baby's ashes in, NOT for an abortion. I also explained that harassing and attacking women that were going in could be far more damaging to the child than the vast majority of services offered at that location (everything from low-income pre-natal care to birthing and, yes, abortions).
It's been years, and I've never yet seen protestors at that location again.
Omg that's horrible 😢😢😢
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That's horrendous.
I'm sorry for your loss and that you had to endure that. I definitely get the feeling of losing a baby (lost mine too). I hope the both of you are in a happier environment. That kind of grief never truly goes away so I won't insinuate it, but I hope it's easier to bare. Many hugs to you and your wife if you want them in solidarity.
I'm sorry for your loss, that man's actions were so disgusting; no matter how fired up you get over abortions there's no excuse for ASSAULT! As you pointed out, there's no way of knowing why anyone is going in there, but these pro-controlling women's bodies crowd have a one track mind.
Wishing you the best with the rest of your life, dude.
I once had a dude creeping on me when I was 17 and just started college. He had kept touching my hair and arm and such when I had told him to stop. One day I had the brilliant idea to just start... talking to him about the dark web. I made this dude *incredibly* uncomfortable by talking about all the fucked up stuff on the dark web. At one point I remember him getting up, saying he needed to use the bathroom, and I distinctly remember saying "Wait! I haven't told you about the chatroom sites for people confidently boasting about spreading STDs yet!" I never saw that man again.
Oh that’s golden. Glad he left you alone!
Not to play down the situation, but you seriously were lucky you didn't meet someone who was interested in the dark web-
@@PhantomGato-v-Seriously. This could have backfired on her so hard...
Eh, just tell them about the stuff that is on the dark web that are specifically undesirable for people like him. Like sure the joke could backfire if you told him about any random dark web site but you gotta find the WIERD stuff that would be weird even for HIM and the funny part is you don’t even have to go to the dark web sometimes. You could talk to him about this one CZcams documentary you saw where they talked about a “forced to be a femboy” epidemic on 4chan and go into excruciating detail on all the ways the people who initiated that epidemic would make guys dress up like girls and write derogatory names on their bodies through literal emotional force and how you may or may not only be a girl because you were on 4chan at that time.
@endlesssupernovacaine4377 oh my gods is this the way???!!!
I think this is the way!
Talk about the pain websites you found and that guys were doing something to their own... 'ehh hhems', and you would love to watch that in real life, or you want to create an army of fem boys to follow you around 💜 😄
My friend has extremely bad ehlers danlos syndrome. She's 95lbs. People are always asking how she stays so thin. She says "thanks it's my chronic illness" they shut up so quick. Ask uncomfortable questions get painfully uncomfortable answers.
The inappropriate remarks and baby belly touching is a regular thing for every woman I’ve ever spoken to about it. Happened to me with all 3 of my pregnancies, and even the people who knew that personal space is a priority for me, seem to forget. Just because my physical perimeter is expanding doesn’t mean you can get all handsy with me. I got called into HR once for slapping a coworker across her face. I told them that if they were going to punish me for that I would be filing harassment reports in agency and with law enforcement against that coworker for repeatedly touching me without my consent. Somehow they thought that nothing would come of it because the offending coworker was another woman. F around and find out.
I've heard so many stories like this from American mothers, it does sound super common. I'm curious whether it's also common in other countries. I'm in New Zealand and I never had someone do this during my pregnancy. I think one person did ask if they could touch my belly to feel the kicks, but they were a female colleague I was quite close to and asked very politely so I was fine with it. I did have a couple of random strangers on the street ask when I was due, which I thought was kinda nosy and very daring (what if I wasn't pregnant?). But no touching.
PREACH! I have yelled at, slapped, kicked, etc. men... F$CKING MMEENN who just walked up and groped my preggo belly. I MADE WHOLE ASS SCENES every time. Who TF do people think they are?? You don't know me, I don't know you; works you have done that if I WASN'T pregnant? Oh, you wouldn't? Huh.
@@natk1105 I live in Germany and also got touched during pregnancy. But the very WORST was, after my kid was born that some strangers think itss approbiate, that they can touch my kid in the face without asking.... Its just disgusting. It was one neighbor in particular (i dont like him xD), but most people are respectful.
Idfk why some people think that if they're of the same sex is ok, no it's fucking not, if the other person doesn't like being touched doesn't mean that being of the same sex changes that fact!
I was working teaching a lesson on inappropriate behavior in the workplace. When the topic of sexual harassment was discussed, a young male, early 20s made a remark that chicks should lighten up and learn how to appreciate a compliment when they get one. I asked why they should if they weren’t interested and how would that exchange fit into a job description…..to accept compliments and lighten up? He responded that the whole thing was just a beat up and they should get over it, it was just harmless fun. I said how would you like it if you were being harassed? He said I could take it, I’d enjoy it.
I said oh really, you think so. He sat there with a smug grin on his face. So, in front of everyone, I invited him to a gay bar. His mouth dropped open, he turned red and stuttered f*** off. I said why not, just a few drinks, get to know each other, he said no, I’m straight. I laughed and said yeah they all say that until they have a couple of beers (everyone else laughed). He became quite angry and aggressive. I held up my hand and said 20 seconds, you’re angry, embarrassed, humiliated, defensive and aggressive. How do you suppose someone who puts up with the sort of crap you’re spouting everyday feels. There was probably a gentler way of teaching him, but I’d lay a bet he’s never joked about it since. Sometimes you’ve just got to make them realize the stupidity of that line of thinking. Disagreements will always escalate when we fail to ask the most basic question. How would I feel if that was happening to me or someone in my family.
Honestly, you did not do anything physical and just gave him EXACTLY the sort of things he expects women to take well. You were plenty gentle enough in my opinion. (I've had feminists violate physical boundaries to show men how that feels like this doesn't happen already. Giving back the verbal '"compliments'' that man wants women to take is exactly what was needed in his case. Especially since reasoning with him was attempted and failed.
@@corbanekarel3692 thanks for response, appreciated. Another incident I’m aware of that might put a smile on your face, my sister, who was in a reasonably senior position in Education had a new boss come in who was going to change things blah blah blah. During his introduction he said and to all you women, I address a group of people as ‘guys’ so either get used to it or find another job. Stunned silence from the group. He asked if anyone had any questions. My sister raised her hand and said: ‘so, can I ask how many guys you’ve slept with’? The team was, from that day onwards, addressed as ladies and gents, team, or people after that. I and my brothers were teenagers when she was born. She grew up in a house with 3 teenagers where she learned to stand her ground very well.
@@marklivingstone3710 In my opinion, a group of people can be addressed by the non-gendered term guys. It can also be used to indicate gender and it depends on context. That boss' mistake was indicating from the start that he didn't care if people were offended. But people need to stop being offended by inoffensive things as well or else the only word we will be allowed is "beings".
@@jenniferpearce1052 couldn’t agree more, context and intent are crucial in considering any situation. That said , I attended a conference on unacceptable workplace harassment. A female professor rose to present her paper on issues around an inclusive workplace which went for about half an hour. At no point did she use the words he, him, or his. She used she, her or hers. She did not slip up once. About 5 minutes in, I thought that’s actually quite annoying what she’s doings. At about 6 minutes in I thought and I know exactly why she’s doing it. In her conclusion, she thanked us all and smiled and said and to all you men in the audience who are ready to rip my head of for not say he, him and his…….i can only say welcome to what women put up with every single day and if they mention it are told they’re being overly sensitive and need to get over it.
It’s not about political correctness, it’s simply being polite and acknowledging who’s in the room. When I served in the armed forces, I once asked on of my female subordinates what was the worst thing she found serving in the forces. Her response was a feeling she had that she needed to work twice as hard and to produce twice the result to be considered half as good as her male colleagues. It was a response I never forgot and I concentrated to ensure I was not contributing to the problem.
@jenniferpearce1052 how about we all learn to see past the end of our own noses and respect people's wishes.
The way you write I feel like you use the term "woke" as a insult and call people snowflakes.
Respect, it's honestly not that hard.
As a bi man, I’ve intentionally hit on guys who make unwanted advances on my friends and coworkers. It happens so often, it’s no wonder that women are always on edge. I have friends who will not go out without a guy they actually know and trust and I can’t help but feel so bad for them.
That's sweet 💜
Thats cool but i must ask has anyone pulled the "jokes on you im into that"
@@diveblock2058 only one lol. But when I pressed further, he eventually told me to leave him alone
Me and my friends have an agreement on being each other's deisgnated GF when we go out to try to keep pushy men at bay. Our friend group is mostly women and femme presenting. Sometimes dudes don't take that as an answer, but we ice out or make a beeline for security of they don't stop. We've recently become friends with a really sweet man who's really tall with the kind of cold glare that will intimidate anyone who doesn't know he's a huge teddy bear. He's also really into martial arts and teaches some self defense courses, so if "I'm gay and have a gf" doesn't work, the gentle giant who's obviously jacked works wonders.
That's always the problem, when you try to outcreep them. @@diveblock2058
I read a story where a teen girl had a gigantic tumor in her abdomen that made her look pregnant, she had to wait months for the surgery, strangers were judging her, givibg side eye and comments cuz they thought she was pregnant, and she was crying because of it and were uncomfortable leaving her home. I felt so sorry for her, I bet those judgemental people would turn white if they knew she had a tumor :/
This literally did happen to a girl I went to high school with. We were in band together, and I think the worst part was hearing the BAND MOMS whispering about her. Grown adults have no reason to talk about kids like that! I hope they felt ashamed of themselves when they found out her “pregnancy” was a tumor the size of a basketball. The whole thing still makes me angry.
Thats my mother to a t discussing everyone else's private problems to share them with the world. I'm almost pretty sure my mother has Almost no shame.
@@chidagamer6497 for you.
After a very traumatic time around and inclusive of loosing my son in a neonatal death on my own I was out with work people for a meal.
I had been managing to keep my grief etc back but couple of alcoholic drinks is a key that can open floodgates, so I left early as the tears were coming. Walking to the bus stop on a busy Saturday night in town I couldn’t hold my pain in tears anymore.. a young fresh faced police officer and his colleague noticed my distress and commented laughing “ there’s plenty more men around “
I turned and replied “ but only that one was my son”. He went ash faced and hurried off.
I hope he learnt his lesson
Dammn I'm very sorry about that.
If he was good at learning lessons about empathy he wouldn’t have become a cop
@@MatecaCorp I’m in the UK and our police officers have to do/go through more training than the American. He was a young officer . Our system isn’t without its bad apples but I like to hope that it’s getting better. I work with police trainers now in university so know that it’s changing.
Oooh, I have a story for this: I'm a fairly masculine-looking woman, even more so when I was younger, so I was mistaken for male on a regular basis. I was in Paris visiting a friend who was there on a student exchange. Now, French and particularly Parisian men have a reputation for "flirting" so aggressively that it would be seen as borderline harrassment in some other countries and I am from one of those countries. I didn't get the worst of it, due to the aformentioned masculine looks, but even so, I was aggressively hit on by my fair share of men in their 50s and 60s. I was around 20 and looked even younger...
So one day I'm again in the metro, minding my own business when another guy with more confidence than room-reading ability came up to me and started to hit on me. And for once, I had an idea. So I cleared my throat to make sure that my voice came out low and told him: "Sorry, bro, I'm not gay." He became as red as a tomato, started stammering something about him not being gay and either and then pretty much fled. It felt glorious!
hahaha I love this!
that's great! I was really little and this older french boy kept pinching my butt. My parents and everyone else thought it was hilarious as I tried to run away. I really dont like that aspect of france.
@@mothdust1634 You think we're okay with that in France ? Tell me his name, I wanna talk to him.
@@mothdust1634I... would argue that is taking it to the extreme. I guess if the boy was young as well. But even then. Aggressive flirting is one thing. Physical assault is another...
@@slavishentity6705this obviously was quite a long time ago. Talking to him about it now would be a bit much, don't you think? I guess if you want to make sure he doesn't still touch without permission...
That first cop's reaction to the woman buying tampons is absolutely wild to me. I mean to me, it's like asking _what were you buying in walmart_ and getting a response of _tissues_ and having this insane reaction. It's just wild to me how some men are so distant from the very concept of periods and hygiene products for them that they would have that kind of reaction.
I was shopping yesterday and waiting for this young couple to move so I could get an item and she’s looking at ladies lingerie and making comments and he’s making these uncomfortable giggles. I was tempted to say to him, “Wait til she asks you to buy tampons for her”. But I didn’t. 🤷♀️
It’s wild to me how many people see periods as some weird freaky horror show. Like yeah they’re a bit gross, but no grosser than pretty much any other bodily fluid. Like you said, I doubt the guy would have freaked out if OP had said they were getting toilet paper or something.
@@aninterestinusername Exactly! Like the second instance I can understand given she had blood on her hands that would be shocking! But simply _buying tampons?_ Truly fascinating.
@@aninterestinusername to be fair, most other bodily fluids don't have a reputation of coming with mood swings and irritability, that the dude was terrified was definitely an over reaction, but in his shoes i'm not sure i'd want to take up any more of her time than necessary, especially knowing that sometimes they can slip out and ruin a lady's day
that said, i agree, it's extremely sad how little most really know about women's health
The reason he asked was he was fishing for reasons to ticket her more.
He was hoping she'd say something like "beer" or any alcohole. Cause they he could have suspected her of being drunk, or tested her to maybe get a catch of a person thats not drunk but above legal blood alcohole.
Same reason why he asked her how fast she was going.
Never answer a cop when he asks you if you know why he stopped you or how fast you were going!
They are looking for a reason to give you tickets.
That mask one got me. I had someone getting really close to me in the supermarket and I could hear them talking to their friend about sheep in masks… so I piped up with “can yall back up a bit? I’m at the tail end of Covid and, while I’m pretty sure no longer contagious, I’d rather not take chances”
They backed up.
A lot 🤣
lol I was doing this at the height of covid so many people were being stupid about masks
Yes it is like "oh so you don't mind if I cough on you? Awesome, it is more comfortable without the maks obviously, but I did not want to infect people, good to know you don't care about being infected! Sit next to me and let me tell you real close what my symptoms are 😁"
Here’s a fun little saying I came up with as I was watching this video. “Violence is never the answer. It is the question. And you should always respond in turn.” It basically means that you should never open with violence, but if someone is violent towards you, you should always respond with violence back because you weren’t the one who started it.
“Violence is never the answer, it is a question, and the answer is yes!”
I kinda like that
My two favorite stories like these I’ve heard in the wild was one where a high school girl was headed to the bathroom to take care of period business when some guys she passed verbally harassed her. Angered, she whipped around to yell at them and since she already had a tampon in-hand was using it to point at them for emphasis. The three boys were shocked and afraid, following her hand “the way the raptors followed the flare in Jurassic Park.” She then decided to toss this clean, wrapped tampon at them which caused them to scatter like she’d thrown a grenade.
The other is a cat caller who started harassing a woman on the street saying something about smiling more. She had just had dental surgery so she slowly turned her head and allowed her bloody salvia to run from her mouth. Guy RAN.
Hypathia is said to have done the "throw a bloody menstrual rag in your harasser's face" thing. It was super effective.
Hahahahaa I am dying!
Hahahahaa I am dying!
Hahahahaa I am dying!
Hahahahaa I am dying!
I think the story of two women killing their stalker would fit perfectly in this sub. The woman was being stalked for a day and a half but police didn't think it was happening due to "lack of proof". The woman made a plan to lure the stalker into her home while her best friend waited with a knife. Turns out he was a serial killer and she was his "type".
Well... They have the body as proof
Detective Conan Cases actually happen in real life too much.
I need NAMESSEE
@@captainnemolostintheocean1652wolfiethegamer2000 made a post in r/nosleep that has a similar story. The title is how I k***ed my stalker. Don't know if it's the one that op read, though. Also, it sounds fake and unrealistic but it's nit a bad read
@@captainnemolostintheocean1652 I can't recall their names. I think the ladies might have used pen names to protect themselves from copy cat killers or media press.
My mom taught me "Never punch first - but always punch back."
Is your mom named Carla?
No, why? @@ly_sho
@@jaegermonster5925 I thought your name was a reference lmao sorry 😭
Even ur comment makes sense as a reference tbh
My mom said the same. I've always given people 3 chances (depending on the situation)
I wish I'd been given that advice. I was told to turn the other cheek. So I'd get punched again. Pacificism is when u could fight back but don't. Being a victim is turning the other cheek to people u couldn't fight back against because they are bigger, meaner, and scarier than u.
Oh man, the mask story brought up a memory. People absolutely have no clue of good hygiene when they are sick. This was PRE-COVID and I had to go to work with a terrible cold and a really gross cough. A few days prior I witnessed in my department a little girl coughing directly on every item at her eye level, with her parent right there not correcting it....but I digress. Anytime I have a cold and still have to come into work of course Im going to wear a mask to protect my coworkers, but ESPECIALLY since one of them was very pregnant. And the entire day, my coworkers looked at me weird and kept asking why I was wearing a mask. When I explained in my obvious sick voice they looked further confused like they couldnt piece together that the mask prevented germs from spreading as well as protecting the wearer. Not a single coworker understood that it was for their benefit or seemed appreciative. I was hoping at least one person would be cool about it and understand that at least Im trying to keep them safe but nah. After that Im not surprised that the general public reacted to COVID they way that they did....
It's the fact that everyone jumps to "oh, you're scared of catching something off me? You think I'm infected with something? How dare you." The sheer self-centredness is truly something to behold.
I worked at a cramped call center in an old mill building basement for like 5 months in college and while I came out of it with a LOT of weird stories, the most unsettling was that when I got fired while out with strep throat (after they insisted I drop off my doctor's note at the office in person the same day it was written in spite of it being a CALL CENTER and me having STREP THROAT), people I'd never even talked to while I worked there were stopping by while I was cleaning out my desk to wish me well (which would have been confusing anyway because the place had an absurdly high turnover, 1-2 people a week left on average not even counting the training groups that were usually half their starting size by the time they were assigned desks) with this weirdly solemn tone like they were at a funeral.
I'd put on a PPE mask when I dropped off my doctor's note, and again to come clean out my desk/hand over my keycards because even if the company could absolutely kick rocks, I didn't want to start an epidemic of strep in the poorly ventilated one-room office. apparently none of my coworkers had ever seen PPE outside of a hospital, so they assumed I was leaving because I'd been diagnosed with some horrible terminal illness. the idea of masking up while sick to avoid getting the people around you sick as well was SO foreign to them that they collectively jumped straight to assuming I was dying. between that and the whole "being fired for getting sick in spite of having a doctors note" thing is just... so painfully 'murrica.
The whole mask thing has been driving me nuts for years. Mask-wearing can be beneficial for some people in some situations and harmful for others.
I have two supervisors at one of my jobs right now who still wear them, but one has an autoimmune condition, and the other is very prone to getting respiratory infections. That supervisor also tends to wear one because they sneeze and cough a lot, so it's to keep from spreading droplets (which I respect). At a past job, I worked on a cancer unit, so a lot of our patients had to wear them if leaving the floor because, again, immune compromised, and anything that might help protect them is a Good Thing.
I can't wear them because they a) trigger my asthma attacks, b) trigger rosacea flareups, which affect not only my cheeks but my eyes (which could eventually cause permanent vision damage), and c) trigger a suffocation response. I've yanked off an oxygen mask in the ER because it was suffocating me, but the cannula worked fine. Some of us respond to CO2 buildup even if O2 levels are fine.
I am acquainted with a woman who was assaulted a few years back and her attacker tried to suffocate her using a shirt. So masks, especially cloth ones, bring that all back up. She was only just healed enough to start going out in public by herself when covid hit, and the "thou must mask no matter what, even if you are by yourself" crap that a lot of people pushed did not help her at all.
So, I firmly believe that everyone should be able to choose what they feel comfortable with for masks. I would never try to shame or guilt someone who wears one, because I know there are plenty of reasons to do so. I may not agree with some of them, but they are their reasons, so I will respect them. In return, I just hope they will respect that those of us who don't wear them also have our reasons. (And I was always taught to cover my coughs and sneezes, because to not do so is just plain rude and gross, never mind the hygenic/health reasons.)
I don't think "boys will be boys" was ever meant to refer to their behaviour towards others, but rather to themselves. You fully expect a boy to get himself hurt doing something dumb, and the saying perfectly expresses that.
Yeah its supposed to be "kids do dumb shit"
Yeah, I really can't stand how it's being used to excuse misogynistic behaviour (though the original use makes me laugh a bit - as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, I do love it when other people get up to really dumb antics to entertain themselves).
Exactly. Now that phrase is being used to excuse bad behavior in men and it's really annoying
@@ShintogaDeathAngel Oh sorry I didn't see your comment before I posted mine. I read yours and realized it was super similar. My bad
It's nicer way of saying "Kids are dumb" because they often have to learn by doing rather than being told. It's how I got my nephew to listen to me when I tell him not to do something.
When I was 35, I went through a really bad bout of IBS that left me weighing 99 pounds and missing over half my hair. I looked like absolute hell, and the sheer number of entitled Karens who would tell me "eat a sandwich" or start lecturing me about eating disorders out of nowhere finally led me to start saying, "Chemo's a bitch. Thanks for reminding me I look like shit, I totally needed that today." That never failed to shut them up.
Other peoples unsolicited opinions or advice is the worst. I have IBD and numerous other conditions and the amount of people who instantly think it is because of my diet or say that they heard doing or eating something helps is crazy. Or even worse is the people who try to be relatable, saying things like, “I get an upset stomach sometimes too” or “I had food poisoning once”.
The worst is when it’s from family who know some of your medical history but think they know more about your situation than the people closer to you do. Like an uncle thinking that I just need a “kick up the arse” or pushed to “get on with it”, he didn’t say it to me but to my parents (he has no kids) and trying to convince me to go and spend some time at theirs, where I think he probably thought he could fix me. Like they know practically nothing of my medical conditions other than the names of a few and they know very little about how I feel and what I deal with on a day to day basis but somehow feel like they have the answers and know how to fix me. If multiple consultants across many departments don’t know how to fix me I doubt my uncle with no experience in the medical field can.
I'm gonna sound stupid but isn't IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome
@@bendingdemon6483 yes it is, the chemo part was a lie to get the person to shut up and leave them alone.
@@bendingdemon6483
Yep!
Another IBS sufferer here! Affects the intestines and symptoms can be from nausea, constipation, diarrhoea, and more.
Sucks because it’s not obvious at first (gp thought I was faking it or pregnant) and it can be debilitating if you don’t have a support system set up
@@elfasalikespasta880 O h...... I thought it just made you either shit a lot or not at all. I didn't know it could do what it did to Spamberg... that's probably why I'm not a medical professional.
I despise people who tell me to "cheer up" or say why don't you smile more. I am bipolar and get stuck on deep depression a lot. I've gotten to where I say "Because I have clinical depression and have to dedicate half my time resisting the urge to off myself, asshole." I don't get so many morons doing that anymore.
As someone who had nurses hold me down while a dentist pulled an infected tooth at the age of 5 with the “oh, they’ll forget it” excuse; yes, listen to your patient and don’t traumatise people, especially when it’s something you know they’ll likely have to go through multiple times in life, like drawing blood or going to the dentist. I’m 34 and still have my mom come with me to the dentist and had to get rohypnol prescribed at one point to even agree to go. Even if I don’t remember much of the actual traumatising event my body does, and just thinking about is anxiety inducing.
Me with blood work. I need xanax or you ain't getting me in the chair.
Me with the spinal tap when I was a small child.
I have a similar experience with a dentist as well I was probably a bit older but still going to the dentist will trigger a panic attack and I’m 20
@@unsurebean5206 It’s horrible because it’s something you know you’ll have to do at least semi-regularly. I’ve somewhat managed to do some exposure therapy so it isn’t as bad as it used to be but still. I’m so sorry you had to experience anything like it and I hope that your future dentists are understanding, take you seriously and show compassion. Just knowing that they listen and try to help to make it less horrible can be a big difference.
I was traumatized by an incident relating to water when I was an actual BABY (6 weeks). To this day, 25 years later, I’m still wrestling with my water phobia. Trauma ≠ bad memory. Your body keeps the score
Once upon a time I was a cashier for Walmart, and oh God with the wildly invasive and rude people. I was working one night and had this older guy (Boomer in all the worst possible ways) come through my checkout line. I was tired and in a lot of physical pain (Ehler's Danlos and all of my joints are garbage), and was having a horrendously terrible week, so I admit I was not a happy happy ray or joy and sunshine and didn't say much of anything, probably didn't even really make eye contact. This guy angrily grabs his bags and says, "You know, you COULD try SMILING and BEING NICE!" I look back at him and say, "My grandmother died this week. What's your excuse?" His face turned ghost white and he nearly ran to get out of there. People entirely forget that service workers are actually PEOPLE and not just servant robots.
Ooof also serves them right for the ableism. Darn them all with their inability to execute "compassion.exe". EDS is so hard to deal with. I wish you very well and that you get to have many moments of just support and being believed and seen!
I hate it whenever my mom does something like that.
Once we were at a restaurant and she asked the waitress "Are you mad?" And I was so embarrassed at that moment, why can't you just leave people alone with their problems??
"She might want to talk about it" was her excuse. And what if she doesn't?? If she does, she definetly doesn't want to talk about it to a random woman she just met.
You're a king (or queen) though, I wish my mom would meet someone who is like you (unafraid to embarass them) so that she could stop. Thank you for existing bro.
I’m hyper flexible and my joints suck too! Why are people like this, it’s so fucking dumb.
Back in the 90s I bumped into an acquaintance I hadn't seen out and about for some months and I complimented him on his new svelte figure. A few weeks later I heard he had died of AIDS
I got comments like that and I give them the hole rundown of EDS and what it does to your body. Make sure they know just how important connective tissue is. How I have no choice but to watch as my body slowly falls apart as I age and the fact that I'm only twenty and have to constantly be tence in my neck and shoulders because my shoulders dislocate when I relax. My body is under so much stress that I got my first gray hairs at 14 and ever since I was a toddler I've been aware of my short life expectancy. I wasn't suppose to make it past 12 and before that 9 months.
It's even better when they see me get up from my wheel chair because for some reason wheelchair users owe you paralysis. I have to give the lecture of all the reasons people might need to use a wheelchair and the fact that semi-mobile people exist
I also have the added bonus of having some really weird health conditions that came along with the EDS. I get comments about how I'm incredibly pale and they ask why I always cover up and weir a hat.
I have the joy of telling that what sun exposure does to me. When I have prolonged sun exposure I get a rash, then blisters, then my blood vessels spontaneously rupture. Thats like sudden the worst brusing you can get everywhere thats in the sun. It looks like it too. I also have a higher risk for skin cancer due to another health condition.
People really just need to leave disabled people alone. And don't think for a second it's okay to touch someone's wheelchair without permission with the excuse of helping. Even if it looks like I'm struggling to do something done, don't jump in to help without asking if they want help first. I already have so many limitations on what I can and can't do. And I'm going to keep doing things until I physically can't anymore. Just leave me alone and let me go about me day in peace. I don't need others constantly reminding me of my disability when there are enough reminders already.
For the "paradox of tolerance", I've found it helpful to think of tolerance as a contract. When a person violates the contract (by being intolerant), the contract is void and therefore they can no longer receive its protections.
Agreed. Do no harm but take no s***.
I like the sentiment of this but personally I've also found success by simply hitting bigots with the power of friendship. I legit befriended homophobic trolls online by asking them what games they like. Then I became "the good one" from the queer community to them, and eventually they just stopped being homophobic entirely.
I wouldn't try to do this irl, but online it's easy to just block them if it gets too annoying, and they can't physically harm me either.
@@vickypedia1308 "My little pony" theme starts playing
The biggest thing is you need to tolerate some intolerance, in case it's ignorance instead of intolerance. And because sometimes you have to deal with those people unfortunately.
"Due to your intolerance of intolerance, you are no longer deserving of tolerance."
Point is, there's no easy way to use tolerance as a sufficient substitute for actual reasoning about morals and values.
The moral basis for tolerance is essentially just "do not do unto others as you would not have them do unto you". And the applicability of that principle disappears immediately as soon as you think the thing the person is doing is clearly destructive to themselves and the community. Like meth. Or alcohol abuse. Or self-harm. Or porn addiction, or social media addiction. Or any other behavior that internalizes an inability to productively interface with the self, reality, and others, and therefore masks/replaces that inability with isolation from or abuse of the self, reality, and others.
Tolerance can only properly extend to beliefs and behaviors that are viable contributors to the universally human (and humanizing) project of navigating and participating in our shared reality.
Years ago, I was in the hospital for something or other. The nurse wouldn’t listen to me when I was showing her where I get my blood drawn every single time (there’s a scar there like a perfect target) so she started digging around in my other arm and the back of my hand. It was so painful (at this point in my life I also had a severe phobia of needles as well). She finally got a vein in the back of my hand, and there was a brief moment where the port was open before she connected the IV. I looked her in the eye, flexed my hand, and SPRAYED her with blood. The “oops” was deadpan and completely insincere.
My first child was born with gastric issues, which got better at about 6 months when the horrific ear infections started. He cried from the second day of his life until he was 2, around the clock. It was hell. I was so defeated as a mother because even with all the doctors, there was little I could do but hear him scream knowing he was in pain. I had a postpartum breakdown and was suicidal at one point. Thankfully, despite everything by the time he was 4 months old, I was doing better. I had a busybody older cousin who always demanded we follow her (generally awful) advice. The other members of the family would just agree and not do whatever. Well, at Thanksgiving, she cornered me and started interrogating me so she could "fix" me as a mother. I don’t have to tell you how little tolerance I had in my fragile sleepless state. She demanded to know exactly what kind of formula my son was on (to tell me I was wrong). My son's formula was special due to his condition but she wouldn't or couldn't understand it was from a hospital. I gave up and silenced the entire family when I announced the best children's hospital in our area had him on yak milk. To this day, she believes I gave my son yak milk instead of formula. She never interrogated me again. Tbh, I think a few others still believe that too. 😂
Yeah...most people think of "harassment" as "flirting" UNTIL it happens to them. Same with stalking. I've been stalked (more than once unfortunately) but I had a friend say that she wished someone "loved" her enough to stalk her! I screamed that "stalking ISN'T about love it's about power and control" and that I had to move from one state to another to GET AWAY from a stalker! Stopped being friends with her.
Lets be honest that twilight didn't help with romanticing stalking 😅
@@Fingerscrossedoutshades of grey also. My personal nightmare how the book became a world wide bestseller with its very questionable stance on sexual consent and supposed S/M. And then the aftermath in form of the "after passion" series etc. Tried to read the latter, had to stop when the male main character that was outspokenly and consistently detested by the female main character forced himself on her and suddenly she enjoyed it. Could not read further to determine whether she calls him out on the process of the first kiss. Had to close the book and remove the tiny bit of puke from my mouth.
Well that's the worst part of it. Twilight created fanfic which led to fifty shades. That eventually led to 365 days and other worse published fanfic. And the abuse just gets worse in each iteration.
I'm so sorry to hear you've been through that. This year marks the 10 year anniversary for me escaping my abuser "boyfriend" and I'm still scared he'll one day decide to stalk me (he had extreme anger issues and his resentment towards people who "wronged him" only grew in strength the more time passed, and he showed stalking tendencies towards other exes). I've only received one stray phone call and a message a few years ago but that's still enough for me to be on guard to this day. Can't even begin to imagine the nightmare of being actively stalked. I hope you're doing alright. Take care. ❤
An old friend of mine said that she was too ugly to be harassed, as soon as she said that I got the ick. After that she even said she wished she was pretty enough to be harassed.
The fact she’d rather get harassed than peacefully left alone because being harassed to her = “being pretty”, is insane! Everyone quickly told her that it doesn’t matter if she’s pretty or she isn’t, creeps don’t care. Now that we’re older I’m sure she regrets even thinking or saying that.
That lady who traumatized the catcaller did so by acting like a dog.
The power of irony.
If he's gonna act like a dog, treat him like one. That's what that Baha Men Song is about, after all.
She got that dawg in her.
It is irony, it works that way. I've had psychos mess with me so I had to start acting crazy to assert my dominance as the crazier psycho so they back down, sometimes it's the only way to get through to these animals. Don't even give them the grace of human speech if they don't want to act human.
@@-desertpackrat If they ain't being human, why treat yourself as the one that isn't? Giving them dog commands might have the same effect.
Going full chicken, with the whole "I laid an egg" squawking works pretty well too.
When a stranger tries to chat me up, I try to start talking about star trek as soon as possible because it's something I'm interested in and know A LOT about.
When I do this, 1 of 2 things will happen:
1-They'll be repulsed by my ultimate nerd levels and leave me alone.
2-They'll engage with me on a topic that I actually want to talk about instead of whatever they were going to talk about, all while avoiding questions about me that I would be uncomfortable answering.
Works every time
As someone who lost a parent at a VERY young age, i salute that six year old. I NEVER would have been able to get through an answer like that without breaking down in sobs.
I went to a new doctor (a specialist) for a specific issue. She was kind of rude from the start, for no apparent reason. Then she figured out my problem was probably hereditary and asked if there was any family history of it. When I said I didn't know, she started berating me, how could I not know, I really should have asked before coming, etc. etc. At some point I just said "I can't exactly ask, they're all dead." She shut up real quick and wrote me a prescription. I then went outside where my father was waiting in the car, and asked him. We apparently did have some cases in the family. :)
I feel that this type of over the top lie is completely justified when something is none of their business or they're being a jerk about it. It's like the level 100 version of saying "shut the frick up".
@@aliceandrea7863Honestly. A doctor berating the patient for having less medical knowledge is insane. That doctor should really learn that there are many people coming from many different backgrounds who are seeking them for help and knowledge.
Thats counterproductiv in both sides
I can understand it when a doctor gets frustrated cause so many people come into their office with zero information or willingness to listen, but I have a really strained relationship with my family and everyone is kinda avoiding each other and so getting any medical information is like trying to ask a stranger for their medical information. Practically impossible, super uncomfortable, and if I get it secondhand no one knows or wants to talk about it. My parents burned every bridge and left me with the ashes. So thats fun.
@@mothdust1634 I think I wouldn't even have minded so much if she had just made an exasperated comment or something, but she went on and on and really aggressively, condescendingly, and derisively. Which is just not called for. And there are plenty of reasons, like yours, as to why one might not have that information. For me it was a mix of going to the doctor precisely because I didn't know what it could be, and not having quizzed my father on the family history regarding a problem with my vagina. 😆
I’m non-binary (there’s a reason that’s important), and I look very feminine. I used to work at Starbucks, and there was one older guy who would always creep on the feminine workers at the drive through, calling the, pet names, trying to touch their hands, hitting on them. I had just started working on voice training, and one day I got fed up with him. I handed him his drink, he said “Thank you ma’am.” And I pulled a confused look saying, “Ma’am, I’m a guy.”
The look on this creeps face was worth it. He stopped taking to me after that, so every time he came in, I handed him his drink so he wouldn’t bother anyone else.
Never underestimate the power of nonbinary people.
“Ma’am, I’m a guy.”
You responded to misgendering with misgendering while also catching him off guard. He (metaphorically) threatened you with a knife and you (also metaphorically, I’m guessing) pulled out a sword.
I did something similar... when I was about 20, I was living in a VERY homophobic small city and I was walking with my mid back long hair loose and my full beard back to my home when 2 guys started catcalling and following me so I started to walk slower and when they where close enough I turned to them and in my deepest voice posible asked the for a lighter... never saw then catcalling again... 😂
@@spiker.ortmannLMAOOO
I don't understand why some people are like that
About donating at check out: These corporations use customer donations as a tax write off. So they're taking more customer money _and_ evading taxes that give back to the community. Just donate directly to organizations, not at check out.
20:06 the way i got an ad for tampons IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS STORY got me waking up my dad from laughing too much in the middle of the night
RE: the preggo belly thing, a friend told a story about how when she was pregnant someone reached for her belly and she said, "Of course you can touch my protruding uterus!" Apparently that was the correct combination of words to make that person immediately stop!
What a genius way to put it!
Protruding is good, but have you considered distended?
YESS i will use this for the future
As someone who has incubated humans on 3 separate occasions, I wish I'd said that to people who did that! Side note: I REALLY don't like being touched by random people, and disliked it even more in pregnancy!
When I was obviously VERY pregnant, my husband and I were in line at the market. The woman ahead of us turned to me and squealed, “when are you due?!” while reaching out to touch my belly. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “I’m not pregnant. It’s a tumor.” The look of terror and embarrassment on that woman’s face was beautiful. She wouldn’t make eye contact and left as soon as she could. When she was gone, my husband burst out laughing and asked why? I said I was sick and tired of being fondled by strangers. I’m positive she never did that again.l
4:07
when I was in elementary school felt sick so I asked my teacher if I could go to the nurse.
She kinda just brushed me off and said I can wait for reecess to go.
So I turned around, sat back in my seat and immediately proceeded to throwup in the middle of the classroom.
She then sent me to the nurse.
Lucky, my dentist listened to me when I said "oh, the wisdom tooth removal was ok enough, the dental surgeon did a good job, but due to a panic attack, I couldn't handle the second tooth being removed. I almost threw up out of panic." , and so, the dentist sent me to a dentist who has aenesiologist, so two more wisdom teeth were removed under general aenesthesia.
The story of the guy hitting on the straight dude who in turn keeps hitting on lesbians at the gay bar always reminds me of that anime convention story that was going around a while ago. I'm not even sure which anime convention that was about anymore but they had this staircase with gaps between the steps so some 'photographers' started to stand underneath the staircase and kept taking photos from below of the female cosplayers' (who were wearing skirts) underwear.
Then along comes this BIG dude who sees what's going on and how convention personnel refuses to do anything. And this big guy is also wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay for fun so he just starts walking up and down the stairs again and again and again while warning all the skirt-wearing girls. So all the photographers got to see anymore was the underwear and crotch of this big, hairy guy until they just gave up. True hero of the community.
The photographers should be glad he didn't have a "wardrobe malfunction"
Big W for big man, God bless Mr. Sailor Moon
My guy shun his Moonlight onto these fools, gg to him becoming a hero irl
"'Boys will be boys' is for when you and your friends, age 10, cover a slip 'n slide with mayo and call it the Miracle Whip 'n Slide, not for S harassment."
My favorite statement on the subject
In the most extensive meaning of the phrase, it might be for when I was playing with those new year light stick things, and was told not to touch it because I would burn my fingers. I touched it. I burned my fingers.
My grandma helped me take care of it, my older cousin just gave me a very disappointed look.
*Miracle Whip N Slide* 😂😂😂
@@chatboulon743 Right? 😆
"boys will be boys" is literally hitting each other with sticks in the park while playing zombie apocalypse
or
finding that small piece of cement in the park and trying to start a fire on some leaves with a magnifying glass.
or
playing harmless pranks at recess by just having the entire group pretend to collapse in front of random kids because haha everybody do the flop
just general tomfoolery that doesn't actually hurt anyone
I was at a bar with a friend when two guys kept hitting on us and wouldn't leave us alone. I just looked at them and very flatly said "Lorena Bobbitt is my idol" and continued to stare at them. They looked at each other and eased away from the bar.
😂
Out-creeping people works like a charm. Especially with random weirdos who don't see themselves as weirdos. I change the subject and start talking about random nonsensical stuff, or bend down and try to untie their shoelaces. Worked like a charm in high school (haven't had to do it since)
I swear, people will blame anything on not having kids “yet.”
When I worked in education mg own principal told me I was good at my job and would get even better when I had kids of my own. I kind of laughed in a clearly offended way. And she said something about how having your own kids just makes you better at caring for them.
I said, “Well, it hasn’t helped most of our students’ parents, like [name of parents who got arrested at a school recital for being high on meth]”
She got all huffy and said she wasn’t trying to offend me.
I hate this line of thinking. I don't have my own kids in part because I want to be able to devote myself to my students' needs, and you are *rejecting* that devotion? I come in every day and put my life on the line to make sure that these kids have the skills they need to make their way in the world. In some cases I provide them with more care and affection than they get from their own families. It is not the same as being a parent but it is love all the same. Do not question my ability to love based on my parental status.
LOL i love it 😂
I hate it when people think they are better for having children.
Such a load of ... droppings!
I'm a mom of two and have a friend that can not have children and she is more loving and empatic than me sometimes!
IKR? The very existence of "child-protective services" govt agencies blows the whole concept to bits.
Seriously, the history of domestic violence & criminology is full of examples of parents neglecting, abusing, battering, sexually assaulting / exploiting & murdering their own kids ... but then, must we have anyone TELL us these things?
Like standup comedian Steve Hoffstetter said re. indignant parents when he calls out bad parenting [paraphrasing] --
Look, I don't have a pilot's license ... I have never flown a helicopter ... but if I saw a chopper stuck up in a tree, I'll be telling the chopper pilot ... "Dude, you fucked up."
As if there's some magic switch that gets turned on when you give birth, gross. And on top of that, the whole parents going: "You can lecture me about my parenting when you have kids!" I just want to yell at them "IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT PARENTING YOU WOULDN'T *_HAVE_* KIDS, CAUSE THAT'S THE REASON I'M NOT HAVIN' 'EM!" Frankly, everybody that has BEEN parented should get a say on parenting, BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES HAVING TO LIVE THROUGH IT.
Lmao, another note: It's just like the whole joke about toxic men that ignore women and tell them what they should like. "What do women like?? WE ASKED A MAN!" But instead you change it around to: "What makes children feel safe, happy, and loved?? WE ASKED THE PARENTS! IN FACT, WE WENT SO FAR AS TO ASK EVERYONE *_BUT_* THE CHILD!"
I was once pregnant and also very overweight. When strangers came up and put their hands on my belly, I’d simply say “why are you touching my fat? The horrified expressions on their faces were strangely similar (and very bloody funny)
😂
This made me ugly snort with laughter. Hilarious!
I don't understand people who thinks it's okay to touch stranger's belly
I don't get anyone who thinks that is "ok" to do. If it is something that if you do in your work place would immediately get you a sexual harassment charge a visit to HR and a same day approved "extended unpaid PTO leave indefinitely" it isn't something you should be doing to some random stranger you don't even know (hell even if you do know them unwanted touching is still a form of assault and in many places could even be escalated to sexual assault purely if the person assaulted feels it was sexual in any way regardless of the person doing the assaults actual intentions were).
In what way does anybody in the developed world feel that they have the right to see someone who had relations 6-9 months ago and go up and touch them like they are some pet, like yeah I could maybe understand someone in the third world country where it is "the tribes" baby and everyone in the community raises and cares for all the children (aka an entirely different cultural relationship), but in the developed countries where we don't have to survive as tribes? Who can possibly think that is ok other than people who don't actually care about the child but see the child as an excuse to get away with unwanted sexual touching in a pervy way? And because those are the only people who can possibly think that touchy touchy of some stranger just because baby = ok then anyone who gets touched by those creeps should have the right to stab them in their knee with their car keys in "self defense" and walk away, obviously not in a causing harm kind of way, but rather a "oh you want to touch me in an unwanted way how about I touch you in an unwanted way as well and see if you think it is ok to be touched in a way you don't want to be" sort of way.
And that's why I waited for a work friend almost until she went into maternity leave to congratulate her. I saw her putting on weight, but I didn't want to assume and apparently she didn't want to announce it because she had had problems getting pregnant. So one morning she was like "can you cover for me during my maternity leave" and my response was "You're pregnant! Congrats!"
Omg, it's my time to shine! I actually have a similar story!
So, it wasn't the day she died, but the day I was going to collect my mum's death certificate with my cousin. Dude says to me as he's passing,
"It's not *that* bad, smile!"
I stop and turn, so obviously he thinks he's in and has a big grin on his face as he stops and waits for my response.
"I'm literally picking up my mum's death certificate. What is there to smile about?"
His face goes pale, then angry (clearly embarrassed) and this mfer had the audacity to ask me why I'd MAKE THAT UP!!?
My cousin had to pull me away at that point.
The story about the child drawing their ghost dad unlocked my memory of a similar assignment. In kindergarten teacher told us to draw our families and then we shared our drawings with the class. As a 5 year old, i did what I was told without a second thought. I drew me, mom, dad, older brother, younger brother and "this is my sister who died" she had her curly hair and angel wings as that was always how my parents talked about her at the time. (Age appropriate explanations for why sister wasn't around anymore) Since she passed before I turned 2, it registered to my baby brain at the time as a normal thing. Everyone has dead relatives. However my teacher quickly moved on to the next kid and my class gave me weird looks for a while afterwards
I had a man chew me out for texting while I was standing in line at a gas station. “Get your damn face out of your phone for 5 seconds!” My dad had just had a heart attack and I was texting my brother and mom about his condition. I also started ugly crying and managed to get out what was happening. He also just shut up and left lol. It was so traumatic in the moment, but definitely kind of satisfying in hindsight.
My eight year old daughter was diagnosed with PTSD this week due to treatment at her biological father's house during her (terminated since October) visits. She is my daughter now. I am her father; a single father, and the only parent she has ever bonded with. If anyone ever tries to say we "aren't a real family" like some of the shit in this video, it will take all my willpower not to offer them a sample of the flavor of their own teeth.
Yeah, it's astonishing how many people believe that biological "parents" who were either absent or abusive are the "real parents" while calling people who raise and love the child "fake". Real parenting isn't about conceiving a child, it's about being there for them.
As someone who was abandoned by their biological father before birth and has never even seen him, this pisses me off. Hell, I've had my *therapist* call that man "my dad", not even a father, she used the word dad despite knowing about the situation. It made me uncomfortable, I told her not to call him that, but I could just see on her face that she doesn't understand...
I hope you and your daughter live happily when he no longer walks among the living ❤
Much love to you and your daughter!!! Thank you for being such a wonderful Father!!! ❤❤❤❤❤💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
You are each other’s blessing, with many more to come.
🖖
Eight years old? Goddamn, my man you are a hero. I think I’m gonna have to use the ‘sample flavour of their own teeth’ line at some point! Good stuff
I legit had a coworker quit because one particular man thought it was smart to verbally assault and even try to physically assault her. She was a cashier and required to wear a face mask. As was required by upper management at the time. He was one of those anti mask crazies. I hope the store actually banned him.
My "Boys will be boys" experience was when in Kindergarten this little boy looked up my skirt every day and my /female/ teacher kept saying "boys will be boys" and "I didn't see it I can't do anything about it" even when she was looking right at us when he did it.
The "TraumatizeThemBack" part of my boys will be boys experience goes to my awesome older brothers. They cornered the kid coming into school one morning and said "Hey, we've heard you've been looking up our little sisters skirt...We don't like that. So here's the deal. We hear you've looked up her skirt one more time, your underwear will be up that flag pole" *leans in and whispers* "with you still in it." *a bit louder as they start to depart* "And remember, the teachers? They don't see anything."
Little boy never looked up my skirt again.
This happend in kindergarten? What was the boy’s intention even? I don’t understand why someone would do that to someone else that’s disgusting
@@Fifi4ever yes in Kindergarten. I don't know what his intention was. It was just very bad behavior and made me super uncomfy, especially when the teacher wouldn't do anything to stop it. I actually wear shorts under my skirts to this day tied in to all this. I am now in my thirties.
I had a friend who's daughter was punched by a little boy at Vacation Bible School. The staff told her it's because he liked her. The mom calls me in melt down mode. We were both horrified that a girl was told abuse equals affection. We coached the daughter to "show her love" to the little abuser the next day.
Around 10:30 the next day I was proud to chaufer the young lady home from Bible school, where she had punched the boy in the face and broken his nose. When he went down, she gave him a good kick in the ribs, then told him abuse isn't love and f off. The very worker who told her its because the boy liked her, ripped her for hitting him.
All the kids learned some new words and phrases from me telling off Kathy Christian. We then left to go get ice cream and watch silly movies.
This story feels awful for everyone involved, except you.
I won’t defend the boys indefensible actions, but do you not see a difference between a punch to the face, breaking a nose, paired with a kick to ribs, and a punch to the shoulder/ body? Is that a proper, satisfying moment in your books? It’s almost baffling to me that you think what happened there was right.
@@pat9353 So you don't believe in jails then?
Since you don't have the subtlety to understand the difference between reaction vs action?
After all if its bad for a kidnapper to lock someone up against their will then how could it not be bad to lock them up against their will in jail?
You don't understand self defense?
Hitting someone because violence or control turns you on is not remotely the same thing as hitting back to stop said violence
@@caitlintillapaugh2630 how is hitting someone _the next day_ self defence?? Nobody went to prison in your story, and no, I would not support breaking criminals noses and kicking them in the ribs, but prisons (when done right) don’t do that.
The difference between a kidnaper locking someone up and the government is three things; impartiality, due process, and purpose.
Can you just google “so what you’re saying is” or “so what you beleive is” for me real quick? Because you did not mention even a single point I made, instead you straw manned points you thought I might believe (which I don’t) and criticized those instead.
Good for her!
@@pat9353correct me if I’m wrong, but you probably read it as a one time thing. Whereas I read it as it’s been going on for a while and finally escalated as hitting her.
So I would count that as self defence, since the school wasn’t doing anything about it, and she wanted the problem solved. And that I consider self defence to not only include immediate danger, but also a reasonable possibility of danger in the future.
When I was pregnant, my favorite response to when I was due from strangers was aggressively asking "Do I look pregnant to you?". I loved seeing all those terrified faces they made😆
Lol, I only ever asked one person that, and that's cause she was wearing a "we're expecting" T-shirt. Turned out I was wrong, but because they were adopting a teenager. I felt bad, but she told me not to worry about it because she was wearing the shirt after all.
@@waffles3629 Yeah, shirts with statements are a low-key invitation to social contact. A person wearing a shirt about being pregnant isn't justified for getting upset when people comment on it (since typically you'd be asking for a chance to share the good news).
@@Arkylie yep, like she wasn't at all annoyed very happily told me about the kid they were adopting. The people who get annoyed other people respond to things are they are wearing need to grow up though.
I once asked an overweight woman when she was due when I was working as a cashier when I was 16-17. Luckily her attitude was lovely (she said “Oh I’m not pregnant I’m just fat ha ha!” with a dismissive hand wave) but I no longer ask that question 😂.
@@Mayakran That's a woman who is comfortable with herself. It's just not worth getting mad over.
32:34 Mother of 4 here. Actually, babies _can_ hear you in the womb, it's just that the sounds are muted. Voices they hear on a regular basis they can become familiar w/ _before_ they're born. A friend of mine's husband would read their babies stories while she was pregnant, and after they were born, when they couldn't sleep it was always _his_ voice that calmed them down and helped them rest.
Unrelated, but based pfp choice, I fücking love Squid girl. ✊️😌
(Also, that story is adorable- 💗)
Random people would comment on how skinny my sister was after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She had no problem saying to people "Thanks, it's because I'm dying of cancer!" She would also get stares from people when she used the motorized cart at stores so I would loudly say to her "WOW! You look SO GOOD for someone who JUST HAD SURGERY and HAS CANCER." Their faces changed quick.
#1 -- When I was in good health, I would give blood regularly. A variety of nurses at the blood bank had techniques that ranged from pleasant to painful. After about ten years of this, a nurse I had never encountered before drew my blood and I didn't feel a thing. The next time I donated blood, I managed to get the same nurse who repeated the painless draw. I asked her where she learned her technique. She said that her nursing school employed a former US Army corpsman who had learned to insert IV catheters during the Vietnam War. He knew how to do it quickly on a moonless night under heavy artillery fire, and that's the technique he taught her class.
Damn! THAT'S the kind of teacher they had? No wonder they got it right. 😮
I used to listen to an MD on talk radio, and he told how he had to draw blood as part of his medical training. He said he used to close his eyes, because you can feel the veins, and he'd never miss that way.
Yep, some are just magical at their jobs. One of my favorite nurses at my neuros infusion center (oh why did she have to move?😢) was a former NICU nurse, so even the most dehydrated adult veins are huge in comparison. I only felt one of her sticks, and it was a mild sting that I'm pretty sure was just from hitting a nerve.
I hope you shared that technique with many phlebotomists.
At my GP there was one nurse that did blood flawlessly. She’d previously trained to be a vet nurse
My wife is is trans, and whenever anyone says something derogatory about her out in public she yells “Ew, no I won’t have sex with you!” I don’t recommend it for most people, but she has a black belt and was in the military for 22 years. She can take care of herself if they decide to fight her. No one ever has, they just leave quickly.
Damn, she sounds like an absolute badass!
Shes sounds so badass i wanna meet her!
Actual queen
She sounds like an actual queen! Props to her! XD
Your wife sounds like an awesome human
I was adopted by my grandparents when I was a baby because my mom passed. I’ve always called my maternal grandparents mom and dad because that’s who they are to me, and my bio mom was always momma 1 or, now that I’m older, bio mom or her name.
I vividly remember my fourth grade teacher insisting on always calling my parents my grandparents, no matter what. So I would always act like she was talking about my actual grandparents. “Your grandma is here to get you.” “She lives in another state, momma didn’t say she’d be visiting. Is momma here?” “Your grandpa brought you your lunch” “My grandpa is dead.” It got to the point where she was walking me to my mom’s car, and she pointed at my mom and said “there’s your grandma!” And at that point I was sick of it. I was young, I hated being reminded so often that I didn’t have my bio mom around, that my family was “weird” compared to other kids because my parents were older. I stopped between the car and my teacher and yelled “She isn’t my grandma! She’s my momma! Stop calling her my grandma!” Loud enough for other adults to start to turn and look. My mom still said she’s never seen that woman get so red as she rushed me to my mom’s car, and I was just fuming in my booster seat.
Years later and I still don’t like that teacher, but I’m super close with my parents. Loosing my mom at such a young age ended up being super hard on all of us, but we get by. My parents always say I was their blessing after loosing her, and I’m just lucky to have great parents :)
I've had a few interactions since my mom died where i made the person regret their comment. My favourite (because it was the first time i didn't break down crying and running out of the room) was when in college i was upset about something, actually starting to tear up, and someone told me to "go cry on your mom's shoulder/go cry to your mommy". My response was "okay, I'll just borrow a car and a shovel, drive 1 1/2 hours, go to the cemetery, dig up her corpse and hug her." The room was silent.
Had a few instances including that one that i *hope* made people think about their words more. I hated your mom jokes before she died, they were torture at summer camp the first year she was gone. They will always upset me i think.
7:30 honestly "violence isn't the answer" only works when both sides are operating in good faith.
My grandmama was the master of this.
One of my favorite stories was from when she was younger, one of her first trips to Italy. She was born in the US, but both of her parents had come from Italy so visiting was really important to her. A friend of hers came with, and they took a train from Northern Italy to Southern Italy. This was in the 70s iirc.
My grandmama was fluent in Italian, but her friend wasn't. And two guys had the seat behind them. My grandmama and her friend were chatting, and my grandmama managed to catch some of what the guys were saying. They weren't bothering to speak quietly, and she overheard them saying things like "Look at these two Americans, dressed like w-[derogatory term for sex workers]" and things along that line, and just being generally gross. My grandmama let this go on for a few minutes before she put her arm across the back of her chair and turned to glare at them. Then, in perfect Italian, said "I can understand every. single. word. you are saying."
The two men immediately shut up, and didn't say anything for the entire rest of the multi-hour train ride.
As someone who's fluent I a few languages and can hold a decent conversation in more it always surprises me what people say when they don't think you understand them. I've pulled the same trick a few times.
Haha! That's amazing!
Power move.
Dude your grandma pulled a power move
@@Plexxis_SugarPom right?? She was the MASTER of this.
When I was younger, my aunt made the severe mistake of hiring an insulter while we were at a Renn Faire. Not only was she P I S S E D at my aunt, my aunt basically wasted her money.
She deflected or turned around p much everything the insulter tried throwing at her. Didn't really insult him back directly, just shut him down or turned things back on him. "I'm sorry you feel that way." "What a terrible thing to say." "You must not be very happy." Etc, etc
A guy nearby who had just had his own friend insulted, turned to his friend and was like "Man, I should have paid HER to insult you."
Hearing the Click talking about bad parenting so often, but then at around 40 minutes talking about why he's so passionate and that it's personal... makes me feel less alone, tbh. I've ghosted my parent for a long time now, didn't actually cut contact but like... I don't reach out to them, they don't seem to bother contacting me either. It's not really a good situation when we do talk, so I'm keen on avoiding it. They're not all that bad of a person, but not great either, and for the longest time I've had on-off contact with them, when, one day, I was just so tired of all the bickering that I just stopped. And it's never been the same since. And I'm not sure if I want to even bother putting in the energy to fix our relationship - because there was none in the first place. All the "love" I received was conditional, fleeting, or felt straight up like a lie. I'm not even sure if it's a personality issue or mental illness, but they seem to lack all awareness for their mistakes, they don't own up to it and never bothered to apologise. But since they're a somewhat decent person, business stuff or financial stuff was never an issue, never.
I just... This is so huge just typing this, it's been on my chest for years and years, and even now I don't know how to exactly resolve my situation. I was hoping I'd find some answers, but subreddit insaneparents has the weirdest and most insane of parents, but none of them ever fit the description or behaviour of mine. I don't know how to adress this to anyone, or to them
It might be cold comfort, but you're definitely not alone in your experience. Sending much love your way ♥
When I was pregnant I was going to a ob/gyn and I had to have blood tests every single time I went there (twice a month) and I told the nurse there that I have a phobia of needles and I get lightheaded easily from it she didn’t believe me and said I’d be okay. One minute into it, she didn’t wake me up until 10 minutes after she took 6 voles of blood. I talked to the receptionist because my doctor was busy with another patient and she said that she wasn’t supposed to do that and she would talk to her. The nurse also didn’t give me anything to eat after like she was supposed to, so my mil stopped and got me something to eat so I wouldn’t feel sick, cause once I get too sick I’m not eating the rest of the day
44:09 oh, i did that to a customer once. She made a joke about her purchase, and i didn't realize it was a joke, so my response was fairly serious. She said "Wow, you're very literal," to which I responded, "Thanks, its the Autism," before speedwalking away. My store manager, who'd been helping me load the lady's purchase, later told me it was the hardest she's ever had to work to not laugh in front of a customer.
I'm not open about being autistic at work, but sometimes I don't get jokes made by customers. I'm supposed to be in professional mode. I've embarrassed a few people who were being mean or bigoted. In some cases I didn't get they were being AHs or what was happening, I usually only get it by their reaction. Some behave well after being asked what they meant. In cases where people are bigoted I've been cheeky or blatantly called them out but as if they were in on the joke. And their faces are priceless.
ETA: A LOT of customers have asked me if I'm AI when I pick up the phone while at work. And I think my work emails are way too formal but Idk how to stop or how to be "casually formal" the way most of my co-workers are.
@@halloweenallyearround4889 I am autistic myself.
As somebody with veterinary training it baffles me how medical personnel can treat children and people who may not be able to express themselves well. I always tried to befriend longterm patients because it's easier having a cat coming to you happily when they see you because you're always gentle (and bribe them to oblivion) than when they're hiding in a corner planning an abrupt end of your life.
Sometimes due to what they have to do though the animal just hates you after no matter what
@@technicaldifficulties368 what does that have to do with anything?
@@technicaldifficulties368 Oh yeah, I know. I learned that cats can growl, which I didn't know before. Also, guinea pigs are feisty. Cows can kick from every angle. Horses are incredibly strong. Dogs can be the most loyal and gentle family dogs and assholes as patients at the same time. They don't know why you hurt them, and they just react to the pain.
Ill also never understand that. Once youve had a 7 year old almost on the verge of a panic attack sitting infront of you just for a little scrap on their shin because they had to get stitches there before and the provider ignored their pain and pleas for pain meds .... they were so afarid of someone having to do that again that just the little wound invoked full panic. I was a camp counselor about a year out of high school then, I aim to do better now as a Paramedic with all kids I come across.
We thank you for your service ❤
You sharing the story's with people who had good comebacks with disabilities inspired me to leave something about someone, but it's wholesome!
So I was in checkout at a Lowes, it was self checkout and stuff, and the person watching was in a wheelchair, no clue what purpose, didn't ask, but I noticed she had cute otter socks! So mentioned them because, well otter socks. Hope I improved their day at least a little, since hey, not much goes on probably
My sister did something similar to my uncle when she was pregnant with her first baby. Ironically we were at a baby shower for my cousin’s wife at his house in the backyard. The dumb question was “So when are you finally gonna pop?” my sister stared daggers at him looked at his beer got and said “A few weeks, when is yours going to POP its been 20 years.” My immediate family and my brother in laws spat out what they were drinking and busted out laughing. We laughed so hard and we got louder when her stormed off to the back door of his house. We laughed so hard for so long it started hurting.
10:07 something similar happened to me... in the mental hospital.
I'd lost my pen, and I went to the nurse's station to request another one. The nurse on duty (male) said "Sure, but only if you give me a smile!" to which I responded "It is Friday night, and I was admitted to the psych ward yesterday for suicidal impulses. What do I have to smile about?"
He shut up right quick and avoided me the rest of his shift.
This same bright spark also thought "Castaway" was the perfect movie to play in the ward full of people with depression and schizophrenia. The sheer tactlessness was breathtaking.
In a mental hospital? Holy hell, it's bad enough when you're dealing with general patients for physical health or either strangers on the street, but in a place where people might be struggling with any number of things in their heads?
I swear a bunch of people who are in healthcare are really screwed up on a core level...
@@carniethedat7071 Unfortunately mental health is very poorly understood by most people and some countries have very poor record of mental health care.
There are people that think that depression is just people being whiny and sad and that "smiling" to others is helping, and that showing them things are are "worse" is gonna snap them out of their own issues. It's kinda typical.
And you get those people in mental institutions because there are less people that want to work in there, so mental institutions get people that are neither trained nor interested in mental care.
man, the castaway part of this reminds me of how my friend's high school that was supposedly specialized for kids with mental health and behavioral issues had required reading of DANTE'S INFERNO. y'know, the book where they mention that suicidal people end up in one of those circles of hell? my friend was fortunate in her ability to just shit on them for doing that and not be deeply personally affected to my knowledge, but it messed with a LOT of those kids. and this wasn't a one-time thing, it was a mandatory assignment EVERY YEAR. there's so much insensitive idiocy in mental health "care" systems it almost feels like a deliberate cruel prank sometimes 😑
@@sidoniegabrielle269 yeah, the amount of times I've heard stories of mental health professionals choosing to expose their patients to incredibly questionable pieces of media is honestly alarming
I was gonna make a “to be fair” thing that was along the lines of “maybe he wants you to smile because he knows of the depression and thinks you SHOULD try to smile and look at things in a more positive light as that (while easier said than done has helped me deal with my own suicidal tendencies) but then I re read it and I’m like “yea no that’s just creepy like why do I have to smile to get access to a pen?” Hope that guy eventually got fired.
God, I remember the 'introduce your family' assignment. I nearly got kicked out of school because my teacher would not accept that I lived with my grandparents instead of parents and demanded to know why. Bearing in mind, I was five. I didn't even know the full reason why (some super dark stuff was explained to me in a VERY sanitised and kid friendly way). It's such a potentially delicate topic that I've never understood why teachers still seem to push kids that don't want to take part.
Learning to be a teacher, its in the syllabus, made by the goverments basically. Ive seen the lesson plan, and ive seen some needing students to talk about their family, or whatever BUT as a teacher she should be compassionate and accept the children's version of the work, and must remember the objective of the lesson plan. If the students reached the objectives, even without fully 100% following what wa expected, then the lesson had reached its aim, and thats that. The teacher should also be compassionate.
I got an assignment where I was tasks to made my genealogical tree. Mind you, my mum is a single mother with no contact to most of the family. So, my tree was, me, my mum and grandma.
My teacher didn't believe me and made my mum leave her work and come to my school just to make her punish me. Well, my mum didn't take it well.
@@yuki97kira You can still ask children to just draw their caretakers... it doesn't matter in what biological or social relationship they are. Using "Your Parents" when you have to fill something out, for example, is becoming more and more replaced with "Your caretakers" in germany, I feel. idk about schools though cause our school systems suck ass and are 50 years behind everyone elses.
@@TheCatMurgatroyd that wasnt the point of my input
In addition, i did said something regarding "your family" rather than " your parents" (which is more vague and broad and can be up to interpretations of the students)
@@yuki97kira i was referring to the government telling teachers what to do...
If somebody pokes my sisters eye, I would respond much more violent than that, this boy is based. The mom should not have had a problem with it. Karens should never be allowed to speak up, for their mostly wrong. Any kind of violence, what could cause disability and impairment, should be grounds of taking your legal custody away. And the sentence "boys will be boy" should be used as evidence of being tone deaf not even understanding the problem. You gave the best definition to that sentence though, I ever heard. Thank you, for making my day OwO
"why has no one got you pregnant yet?"
When did we suddenly end up in the omegaverse?
My boyfriend's co-worker ( a dude ) got groped by a customer at work. His excuse ? "Sorry I thought you were a woman" bro's excuse to groping a man is telling him he thought he was groping a woman, as if it would make it right.
gropping is not a word
@@McBehrer calm down, grammar police!
Yup, the creepy stuff we deal with every other day (-_-#) When will those men get official help assigned by the government?!
@@KxNOxUTA As long as it's only the aggressive creeps that get babysitters and reeducation, not awkward neurodivergent folks who don't know how to not be read that way
@McBehrer well, we say that where I live so I guess it's just a cultural thing. No need for you to be salty over it
My wife works at a hardware store and is damn good at her job. One day some guy came up and asked her if there was a man available to help him with something. She directed him to a department head, told him what the customer said and he told the guy to ask my wife because she had trained all the department heads and was probably the most knowledgeable person in the district.
pffft lmao
That's beautiful. 😂
3:24 I had a tube shoved down my nose when I was fully awake and conscious.
Even though it said on my medical file that I was allergic to sedatives they tried and got annoyed when sedatives didn't work on me and instead of using general anesthetic they got some large nurses to wrap me up in my hospital bed and sit on me to keep me still while they shoved a tube down my nose.
If you've had a drink go up your nose imagine that but in slow motion. I now have a scar under my nose, a phobia of pain and I cannot be wrapped up tightly.
God I love when people that are older than you belittle you because they think they’ve experienced worse or just because you’re younger. I had a coworker that I got along with really well but every so often he’d be like “when you get older you’ll realize ____” and make fun of how I saw things like dude you’re only 5 years older than me and you constantly complain that you’re old stop
As a Swede I do not get how people have such high disregard to personal space, if I was pregnant and some weirdo tried petting me I'd flee.
I'm from Poland - never heard of patting sb else's belly w/o permission (anecgdotal evidence only tho). Seems like an american thing to me.
As a German i can't even comprehend why anyone wants to get into a strangers personal space at all.
Right? I've never heard about it being a thing, and pretty sure it's not something that would even be considered socially acceptable to do around where I live.
Just reading about it actually grosses me out, just getting touched by a stranger even just on the shoulders is already disturbing enough, having it happen to your belly when pregnant just feels...ew.
I'd be throwing hands if someone touched me like that and I'm in the US
It's not something the majority of people do in America, based on my anecdotal experience, but there is a loud and entitled minority that ABSOLUTELY will, and there are enough of them that every person I know who has ever been pregnant has at least one story about someone pulling something like this. Even my grandmother had stories about it.
The thing about rubbing a pregnant woman's belly is real and HORRIBLE. I had morning sickness ALL THE WAY THROUGH two of my pregnancies. So when they touched me, I was usually fending off feelings of NAUSEA even when up to 8 months. Also, I was pregnant with my first child at 23, but I look REALLY young. My fingers swelled a bit and I had to take off my wedding rings. Thats when I got looked at and tsked and had comments right to my face about being a PREGNANT TEEN. I got annoyed and showed one old lady my driving license with my age and Mrs. on it, but it would have been even worse for a girl who was a teen! Like the horrible judgemental ism of strangers was acceptable! BTW, it was my eldest who got me watching these videos, so maybe he got pissed off in the womb listening to Karens and enjoys hearing them get it in the teeth now anf then?
I realise throwing up would have been rather unpleasant for you as well, but I think on the plus side it would have dissuaded any other weird touchy people to see one of their own get covered in sick.
Oh yeah, the random belly touching is very real. My partner and I experienced that during our pregnancies as well. It's very weird and gross.
It’s actually worse when someone just thinks you’re fat. Two weeks before I gave birth to my second child this woman wouldn’t believe me that I was over 8 months pregnant. She even called over her colleague to agree with her. ☹️
Just because someone is a pregnant teen doesn’t mean they’re not married beforehand either. There’s two whole years between 18 and 20.
@@YeahNo Very much and not all pregnancies carry the same so many people expect it to look like on television like someone shoved a beach ball in you shirt. He could do a whole episode of "That's not how a woman's body works" on this stuff but its probably been done on some obstetrics channel!
Men and boys, if you want to disrupt this behavior, ask the stranger to rub your belly too and when they freak out, get indignant that you didn't get your turn.
24:10 -ish. Regarding tasteless jokes, my old teacher actually told me and my class a a
Similar joke during class, he said. “Du skal behandle kvinner som du behandler gress… slå det ned ofte.”
In English: “you should treat women like you treat grass… cut/beat it down often”
This was during my first few weeks in this new school and I was absolutely blown away.
I’ve always struggled with my body and have lived most of my life with one ED or another.
As a larger woman, I always viewed being thin as the pinnacle of beauty. Well… on my quest to get there I got very sick, but very very thin. I had a lot of people “compliment” me on how much weight I had lost. This did so much damage, that people don’t even realize. As I’ve gotten older, gotten then help I’ve needed… I still battle my weight and those issues now… but when I talk to my daughter, friends, or my other family members. I take extra care and caution and refrain from commenting on anyone’s size or weight. I will tell them they look strong, or healthy, or that they look like they are doing well and taking care of themselves. I refuse to comment on a persons weight. My daughter took after her father and is built like a bean stalk with a very high metabolism, she is very strong and very healthy but tall… and struggles really bad with “not wanting to be fat”. She’s 12… and I remember that age vividly… I just gently remind her that she was blessed with very good genes, and that she’s very active and eats really well… and that she is not anywhere near being or looking unhealthy. She always smiles and nods as I visibly watch the tension leave her body. It hurts my heart that she has people in her life that make her feel like I used to…. But at least I can be the person for her that I needed.
For a "mask" moment from my life (not as crazy as the one you found):
When covid was a huge problem worldwide, and masks were a legal requirement here, there was a woman in a shop (who the staff were trying to get to leave because she was refusing to wear a mask) who got mad at me for "giving in to the conspiracy" and insisted covid wasn't real. My response was to start coughing loudly into the mask, and she backed off *REAL* fast - guess she wasn't so confident that covid was fake after all.
And yes, randoms rubbing pregnant woman's bellies is a thing that happens scarily often in a lot of places.
On the story about the "when are you going to tell your kid they're adopted?" I had a stranger version of that as a kid. My sister and I were both adopted, our adoptive parents are white and so am I, but my sister is very dark-skinned and obviously not related to our parents by blood. Not only skin colour, but I have very similar features to both parents, with a look as a kid that really appeared to be a blend of the features of both of them, in spite of not actually being related. But when my sister (a year younger than me) started school, she was a bit insecure about looking so different from me, so when people asked why she's black and I'm white she told them "oh my brother is adopted" - I was totally fine about people knowing, so this didn't cause any trouble. Until someone decided to point out that it looked like I was born to our parents and my sister was the adopted one, and their parents jumped on it. My parents got confronted and asked why they were lying to their daughter about her being adopted and my sister immediately spoke up to say "at no point did I ever tell anyone that I'm *not* adopted. I've known since I was 3." but that prompted the parents to change direction and claim "so you're letting your daughter traumatise your son by lying about him being adopted?" assuming I wasn't adopted just because I looked the part, and I was like "I've known I was adopted since I was 4, and it wasn't my sister who told me. It was our parents. What's wrong with you?" No trauma involved, but they definitely learned a few lessons about assumptions on that day.
Yep, like similar looks doesn't mean related. I don't remember which of the kids I knew, but growing up I knew a kid from a family where one kid was adopted and one was bio. The adopted kid was the spitting image of his mom, and the bio kid looked nothing like either parent. Adults were so crappy about it, but most kids didn't care. Like how anyone could scream at little kids (they were like 7, I think I was about 10) over that I will never understand.
Oh, and my parents would "joke" that I was adopted (I'm not) and then get mad I didn't immediately burst into tears. Like why would I, there's nothing wrong with being adopted?
@@waffles3629 In addition to "why would you cry over that?" why would they want to make you cry over something like that? That's concerning in its own right...
@@a-blivvy-yus yeah, like why did they want to make their own children cry? I actually started hoping I was adopted so that I could be "returned". Cause that's totally a healthy way to grow up. Ugh, I'll never understand my parents.
On both of the moments you listed - Heck yeah! That's all. Just a solid "heck yeah."
@@waffles3629Ugh, that reminds me of my father. I remember when he'd try to convince me that people swallow 10 spiders every night (or whatever it is), and then would throw a _tantrum_ when I didn't believe him. I'm honestly not sure if he was angry because I didn't believe it, or because _he_ believed it. He was such a child, in the worst possible way.
I let my workmate know that I was pregnant (I'm in my mid 30s), she asked me "did your mother ask why you waited this long?" I looked this woman dead in the eye and told her "my mum's had multiple miscarriages so she knows better than to ask people things like that". Shut her down hard.
42:55 "Thanks! It the ED. I was going to go to therapy for it but inguess i could just go be a model instead! 😄"
I started losing weight and after it got noticable my supervisor came to ask if everything was ok and im like yeah, why? So she said she noticed ive lost weight and asked if it was on purpose. She let out the biggest sigh of relief ever when i said yes 😂 she said she had noticed for a while but didnt want to say anything in case i was losing weight for a bad reason (sick, stress, ED, etc) then proceeded to tell me how good i look and how happy she was for me. I understand her hesitation and appreciate her sensativity but the eggshells were hilarious
The first story happened to me too. I was hospitalized and the nurses woke me up at 5am to draw blood. Seven. Vials. Now I don’t do well physically in the mornings regardless and I also tend to pass out and throw up if I get too much blood drawn. They were going by last name and being in the first few letters of the alphabet they were trying to rush me out even though I kept telling them I wasn’t going to be able to sit up. I think they assumed I was putting on an act but they got me a wheelchair which I said was still going to be too upright. They wanted me out of the room regardless because it had been 5 minutes and there was no way I was still lightheaded. The nurse was wheeling me back (she didn’t seem pleased to have to) and by the time I make it to the wing’s desk the receptionist was asking me to blow air like a bubble. Next thing I know, I’m 30 feet down the hall and throwing up. I threw up on myself, the floor, and the nurse. She rushed me to the bathroom but was too late. I was really suffering at the time, but looking back all I can think is “told you so b****”
I'm autistic, having been diagnosed later in life, and I can definitely relate to the person who sent that email that was mistaken for AI. There's a whole fictional trope for this called the Autistic Robot where AI characters are heavily autistic coded, whether intentionally or not. I've seen and read plenty of stories where an Artificial General Intelligence struggles to learn and respond to human emotional cues, because they don't come as naturally. Of course, AGI are also known for coming across highly intelligent and capable of solving problems quickly. If you want some idea of how society will react to the existence of AGI in the future, or what it would be like to interact with an AGI, then look to the autistic community.
I feel like this is why i don't feel as creeped out by AI as some people. I've always somewhat related to it.
EYYY SAME BUDDY though I got diagnosed early
same dude, like even one of my teachers was wondering why my creative writing was still so structured and I'm like "ma'am I'm literally coding up a poem in my head, it's so beautiful" and of course she's not exactly in computer science so her confused look kinda made me regret that line in the moment, but I still smile to it lmao
All of this is making me realize how confused someone would be if I just told them how easy it is for me to create OC families.
It’s easy, you just think them up.
@@lydiaboll2872 I mean yeah, you're not having to talk about real people, you can think of some ideas and build some characters out of that, and create some form of strategy of synergy that follows the idea: they are family so they interact a lot, meaning their differences are more important between them , something like that
I have a friend who is in their forties. They spend 41 years planning this revenge. Ok, for context. They were physically abused in kindergarten through 8th grade by their teachers for being quote-un-quote: 'Psycho' they were autistic, but the teacher couldn't even consider the idea they MIGHT be wrong. It all started with a former principal who was ableist and hated special ed students with a passion and went on a power trip, threaten teacher's jobs, forcing them to abuse children and up her claims that these student were crazy. Anyway, after they got out of middle school they finally decided to just be homeschooled. They spent over 35 years building up a business so they were rich. They started sponsoring their past schools for months. Then, they started their revenge. They threatened to pull their sponsorship if their past abusers weren't fired. It wasn't bribery because they'd already been sponsoring the schools for months, if they OFFERED to sponsor them in exchange for firing them, now THAT would be bribery, and they can legally pull their sponsorship for any reason, and you'd think 'Not wanting to fund former child abusers' would hold up pretty well in court. Then, they started suing that former principal for all of her 401k, making her broke. She had enough connections and hidden/destroyed evidence to stay out of prison, but that didn't matter if she couldn't even afford her house!? And she asked why she was being sued on 'false allegations'. My friend just smirked and said-
"I know you did this"
"Why?!"
"Because I'm the one you did it to." My friend said the look of utter horror and shock on her face, as she realized she screwed herself over years ago by messing with the wrong student, was motherf-cking priceless.
Now, THAT'S a revenge story!
I LOVE THIS
This belongs in nuclearrevenge for sure
@felixhenson9926 no, this belongs in r/karma.
Ok what business did they start?
3:18 i also had some needle trauma as a child that still haunts me to this day:
One day, i was at the hospital, and they put me on a table, face down to put a needle in my butt cheek, as a child, i was confused as to why exactly i was on that table and when i realized they were gonna put a needle in my butt cheek i started moving and tried to escape. I ALMOST got off the table when the nurse called four more nurses to hold me down as i was panicking and screaming like i was being murderd!... I was legit screaming my lungs out... i think i was screeching so loudly that the whole hospital heard me.
Imagine a freaking CHILD, weak and helpless being held down by FOUR nurses while another was trying to put a needle in them. the fear was so strong that they needed four nurses to hold me down instead of trying to calm me down and reassure me. It traumatized me so much... and looking back, they didn't treat me like a child. that's not how you treat a child who's scared of needles. You don't fuel their fear... you try to sooth it, for gods sake. Not to mention, that's such an unprofessional way of dealing with a child as a health care professional.
(Not sure if that's how i developed my needle phobia because i was scared of needles for as long as i can remember, but it definitely messed me up if i can still remember it vividly.)
I agree with you. Treat kids decently in health care scenarios. It can really screw with them so much that they develop a phobia.
This subreddit reminds me of the time a girl was going around my elementary class and spreading a rumor that I had lice. If you had told me a kid though to do what I did, I wouldn't have believed you. I went to the school nurse and asked her to check me for lice and after looking at my scalp with a popsicle stick, I asked her to write me a note saying I didn't have any. The next time the girl brought it up was on the bus to go home. She was telling people not to sit next to me because I have lice and I stood up and literally shoved the note from the nurse in her face. I can't remember what I said, but I know she was bright red with embarrassment and never bugged me again. The same girl stole my sticker book from the school book fair previously that year so I guess I had had enough. My family was poor and had scraped together the money to get us kids each an item. Truly a brat. Teach your kids to treat others with kindness, it's your duty not the teachers.
You destroyed her with facts and logic XD
As a professional vampire, the first story was wild to me. I never question patients on being needlephobic or prone to passing out, instead focusing on how I can best accommodate them, and I take everything they tell me about risks and adverse reactions seriously. Not even to mention bringing up sensitive topics unprompted like that, oof... kids are a topic that I wouldn't bring up myself outside of small talk, and even as small talk it's far from my first choice. (Now I just have to think of the perfect response for when other people bring it up with me, lol.)
I love the "professional vampire" to describe what you work as XD
For real, I have a good vein and before I even knew about my chronic disease (and therefore the fact that I had to get my blood taken after about 25 years of not having my blood taken) I had already noticed how nurses get big eyes and widened nostrils once I stretch my arm and point at something OR lift stuff up and the vein bulges.
Seriously, one at the busstop asked if she could practice on me. I said No because I hate needles a bit (it is getting better) but really, they get a weird glaze in their eyes once they see the vein.
I really wish more vampires (and nurses and everyone else who pokes people for a living) would just listen to patients. I have one 2 inch/5cm section of one vein that looks amazing and is utter crap. The most anyone has ever gotten out of it is maybe half of a small tube. But so many are so quick to "educate" me that they know better than me. Despite the fact I say my preferred sites in fairly accurate medical terminology. Like to the point that about half the nurses/vampires/etc I meet think I'm a nursing student. Why they want so badly to stick the one section I put off limits I don't understand. I would think a patient saying which sites are good would be helpful.
And for IVs, oh boy oh boy, people need to listen. I've had over 100 IVs in less than 7 years, I know a thing or two (or ten) about them. You would think a patient saying "Anything but my AC" when they have a pre-warmed hand/wrist (I'm usually dehydrated when I need IVs) would make it clear I at least have some idea what I'm talking about. Apparently not. I just get a lesson on how the elbow is the least ouchy place (yes, ouchy, I'm an adult) until I lose my patience and start quoting how to start an IV.
Thankfully most of the nurses at my neuros infusion center are great. A few of my favorites end up weirding out the nurses who haven't met me. Because apparently having zero discussion about where you want your IV and it still ending up exactly where you want it, in a spot most people hate no less, is bizarre. I also ended up consoling the nurse who ran over "to help you calm down" after my IV refused to occlude and leaked all over my hand. Apparently the fact we were still chatting about my upcoming trip to visit my sister freaked her out. Like why yes, my hand is covered in blood, but we're dealing with it so why stop the conversation we were having?
At least I stopped passing out a few years ago. I used to for IVs even though I'm not scared of needles, and ironically generally for sticks I didn't feel. But it just randomly stopped one day which is really nice.
@@waffles3629
Oohhh the nurses not listening is a big anxiety-point for me!
I haven't had that happening during needle-poking so far, that is quick and painless, but I've had discussions with nurses (assistants, usually) during procedures or examinations (no needles involved in the producedure itself, apart from being numbed beforehand) when I am in pain or not feeling well and they ignore it or tell me I'm overreacting.
That is a one-way-ticket to me hyperventilating and yelling, which has made them laugh before. Which then makes me cry and it makes them laugh more.
(It was a hospital tooth-extraction that cost 45 minutes per wisdomteeth and then 10 minutes per wisdomtooth-in-the-top-of-the-gums. Once I started crying, the woman compared me to a mother giving birth and started encouraging me to do a huffing/puffing-exercise for mothers. I reluctantly joined, only for her to burst into laughter, because it was a joke, since I was 'overreacting' because I was numbed, so I couldn't feel anything, right?
Later it turns out that indeed, the anesthesia haddn't been working properly and that they'd added chemicals in the numbingshots that I wasn't responding well to (and which I'd asked not to add, just in case) which made me heavily tremble and shake to begin with.
Nurses that listen are wonderful and nurses that don't listen, need to start working in concert-buildings as security during concerts. Perfect place to work if you're not listening anyway.
Oh and as a Pedadogic Worker, same goes for daycare(teachers). Either you listen to your children and their needs or you work at the concert.
Yes. I’m an aspiring professional vampire myself. The lack of concern for the patient is shocking.
With the "what's wrong with your legs" I used to get the same sort of questions and it always made me feel embarrassed and guilty for using a wheelchair in public.
See I have this conversation disorder that ended up with at 11 years old which paralysed me from the waisted down due to stress caused by an extremely traumatic event. After my auntie and Nana died in a terrible car crash and the car bursted into flames before they could get out, we had to go to a funeral in my father's home town. Keep in mind, I'm 11 at the time and my father is a very abusive man that my mother had AVO against, he wasn't allowed within 10 feet of us... But the problem is it's a funeral for his mother and sister, even though they disowned him he still has every right to be there. My much older half sister and her stepdads son flanked both my sides so he couldn't get too close to me. My mother and my sister's mother had my little brother. Unfortunately, despite this my father got a hold of my little brother and started dragging him away from both his ex wives. My aunt's body was being lowered into the ground, I was grieving, and my brother was kicking and screaming as my father tried to kidnap him in front of everyone else who were grieving. A big man, a second-cousin of my father, wrapped my brother out of my father's grip and tackled my father to the ground as the rest of the family who weren't in shock all huddled around me and my brother to prevent anymore attempts. It was horryfing, everything was a blur, and by the time we had made the trip back home I was so exhausted I passed out on my bed before unpacking.
The next morning? I couldn't move my legs. I was panicking. I couldn't move my legs! It hurt, my legs hurt and ached and I couldn't move them.
I had to go to hospital, but our small country town didn't know what to do so I had to be flown to a big city. I have no idea what's going on. I'm also terrified of needles, and the whole time we were in the city hospital I was poked and prodded at to find out what was wrong, everything is a blur from that time all I remember is all the needles and the big scary MRI machine.
When I was finally diagnosed with conversion disorder I got to go back home. I had to do hydrotherapy and special exercises to get my legs to work again and slowly relearn to walk all over again.
The stress from the hospital definitely prolonged my recovery, and I turned 12 in a wheelchair. I got my first period in wheelchair and the panic and stress of that experience prolonged it even more.
I hated the wheelchair. I refused to use it sometimes because I felt like I didn't deserve it. I hated that my legs looked perfectly fine and I still had to be carted around. It was embarrassing to be in public, I cried whenever I had to go to the shops because my mum was afraid of leaving me home alone. People used to make comments about my legs at the shops, not even to my face, they treated me like I wasn't even there, asking my mother what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I walk? I was 12 and it didn't look like anything was wrong with me. I started wearing thick blankets to hide my legs when we went to the shops.
At one point someone accused my for wasting valuable recorces on a child with nothing wrong with them, told me to get up out of the wheelchair and stop pretending, telling me I was a healthy looking kid and I could walk just fine. I cried and cried and my mother shouted at this person and made them listen to the whole story, they went pale white and just kept apologising to my mother. We had the attention of the entire stall by that point and a bunch of people gave this horrible person dirty glances and death stares.
The person got of there quick, left their trolley behind and left without their groceries. I hope they never accuse someone of faking their need for any mobility aid again.
(Edit: spelling)
Woah I didn’t know this was possible, good to know. But beyond rude to do what this person did, even if you don’t know the cause, who the hell assumes someone is faking an ailment to use a wheel chair?! At least shut up about it, some people can’t mind their business
Hope you’re doin better friend, people are so awful for no reason. Sending lots of love
That sounds awful, i sincerely hope you feel better! ❤❤❤
Oh honey. Big, huge internet hugs from someone who had to start using a walker in her early 20's. I don't have a fraction of the trauma around my invisible disabilities, but there's still emotional baggage to sort through and it's tough. I'm so glad your mom leapt to your defense like that. Anyway, just wanted to leave you a note of support and sympathy.❤
I'm not sure which is worse, the reason why you need a wheelchair, or the fact that people think you don't need it. It's like telling someone that they don't look like they need glasses.
Thank you for talking about the parent issue. I understand lying constantly when it came to parent assignments or issues. I never knew who my father was and had a severely mentally ill and abusive mother who made me homeless at age 10. I felt embarassed at seemingly simple questions or comments. One of the WORST for me is "that's your mother, you have to love her/no one loves you like your mother". Stfu. My mother tried to kill me four times by the age of 9. What a sicko you are to tell me that that's what love is. FOH
But again, thank you for addressing it.
Thank goodness you have the whole rest of your life to find people who WILL love you.
fr my dad used to hold a pillow over my head until I blacked out on almost a weekly occurrence and I have mfs telling me "he's your dad, he loves you, you need to forgive him and move on" like I would forgive him and move on if he's changed, but no, still the same violent bastard as before
Used to have a male supervisor when I first starting working that would say things to me in front of my male colleagues. If I bent down to pick anything up from the floor he would say “while you’re down there” 🤮 I would just blush and all my colleagues laugh uncomfortably until one day I’d had enough.
He said it again, I looked at his groin and said very loudly “from this angle there’s not much down here to actually do anything with so I’ll pass thanks”…. Never said anything to me again.