r/AmITheA--hole My Wife Thinks that Loving My Son is Gay
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- čas přidán 11. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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0:00 Intro
0:05 Abandoned at the pool after dental surgery
6:14 My wife is acting strangely homophobic
11:21 Not a golddigger
14:34 Red flags
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
I don't think ops brother was trying to make it sound like it was ops fault he was going to divorce his wife but just that this incident was the final nail in the coffin that made him realize "oh wait I shouldn't be married to this lady."
The brother said this AND other things. This was the final straw out of many offenses. The soon-to-be Ex decided that this was the cause while completely ignoring everything else.
Yeah, no a**hole score for him at all, but boost that 4/5 to a full 5/5 for the lousy wife. Endangering their kid and op. She shouldn’t be around anyone
Edit: Thanks for the Likes, not bc of the number I have (I dont care much for how many I get), but to the people who agree and probably enjoyed my stance like many others here. I appreciate it.
Yeah I don't get why he got a point either. He basically said "I can't believe she did this to you. I'm divorcing her." That says he sees OP as the victim in this situation, not that it's somehow her fault.
op update on this. turn out she left her own child alone without locking the door for haft an hour. Op Don't believe this was malicious but her own irresponsibility
I definitely think he could have minded "how" he said it, but saying "because of this" doesn't infer guilt, it implies responsibility. Sister is not guilty of providing the last straw.. wife is responsible for providing the last straw by mistreating the sister.
"Stop sexualizing things that aren't sexual."
Oh, migawd, YES! On behalf of aces everywhere, this! Please just let platonic and familial snuggles be what they are.
Despite the advances mainstream psychology has made, most people still think freudian
@@liamzakhaev or watch too much inc3st p0rn
I remember once I let a friend that was 16 when I had just turned 18 lay on my lap while we talked cause she was tired and my grandma walked in and later gave me a whole talk about not being a pedophile... I wish I could make this shit up. I am just a touchy person but am Ace and have the sexual drive of -2
Aces?
@@JotunnRedbeard asexuals
1st Story: Rslash mentioned that she was basically roofied, but what he didn’t mention was the setting. Not just a public place, but a pool. What if she’d gotten up, stumbled around, and fallen in the pool. Not to mention her just leaving OP when she was recovering from anesthesia. My fiancé just went through a surgery with anesthesia. Vomiting is common with that. As well as randomly passing back out. What if she’d choked on her own vomit!? Which was a thing the post-op nurses warned me about. Possible molestation, while horrible, was the least of her issues. She could have easily died in this woman’s care. I’m upgrading her to 5/5 buttholes.
Was thinking the same thing...she could've easily stumbled around and fell in the pool.
@@CrystallynRose for real!
I had wisdom teeth removal before but not with anesthesia, but with strong numbing agent. It was highly recommend not be be out in hot sun after a surgical like that. Plus this woman sounds like irresponsible witch that doesn't care about anyone but herself. So I'm not surprised op's brother divorce this woman.
@@alinasanchez278 I found that out first hand when I got 2 wisdom teeth removed, I went out to get food with my mom in the summer and got dizzy almost passed out and threw up
@@velvetdarksoul8741 That sounded bad. Sorry that you went through that. I think the combination of drug and stress of removal kinda just overwhelm the body. That why they recommend to stay still on a cool area or at home.
I don’t get why people wanna sexualize a parent showing affection to their child. I’ve gotten it so many times when my son who’s preteen wants to sit on my lap. Like guys he’s my child sitting on my lap talking about CZcams. We ain’t being sexual thanks!
It really isn't parents though, it's father's. Mother's are expected to show all of their children affection but when a father does it's looked at weird and let's not forget the whole "Creepy Uncle" trope. Males showing affection is just seen as creepy by our society which I'm sure contributes to men not wanting to be affectionate in public. It sucks and I hate it. Just let me love my family.
It's self reporting their own fantasies.
When a mother kisses her adoult son/daughter it because love,but when men does it its gay? Hell no
@@the3nder1 I am trans and the most common narrative is trans women are "men being creeps" and trans men are "woman who've been brainwashed". People invented this narrative of men and women so much it's dumb and is actually harmful towards everyone, not just trans people.
Am I the only one who teared up when he said his 20 year old boys still lay their head on his shoulder? 😍🥺 Beautiful
I'm 25 and I still rest my head on my dad's shoulder like when I was little. I'm still close with my dad
It was so adorably wholesome to hear.
I think it's kind of weird myself, but I'm not about to judge and even if I did my opinion shouldn't be taken into consideration cause that's not my family. If that's how they are, then I'm glad that his sons still love their father so much. That's great.
@@jackmanleblanc2518 my dad used to be more like you. Then he met my late husband who freely hugged him & told him that he loved him. My dad acted so put upon & incredulous at first, looking at me like, "girl, get this man away from me. What the ef is he doing?" when he'd initially get a hug. Then, before too long, my dad started giving side hugs & mildly awkward pats on his back in return.
My dad, who up until that point I'd seen cry a couple of times ever, sobbed way more at the funeral than my late husband's own teen children & I did (we had cried a whole lot privately & were pretty numb by then).
It just isn't what you're used to is all.
@@tazhienunurbusinezz1703 And hey, you know what? I might find myself changing my tune when I'm a father myself one day. You never know.
Story 1: Bri seems to be the sort of person that only cares about herself and would abandon anyone in her care if she felt like it. Nobody should be married to that sort of person.
Bri seems like an adult only in numbers not in any other way..
Seems to be? She IS that sort of person
"Sort of"? She *IS* that sort of person!
This makes me think she would do this with her daughter. I mean the leave drugged in public thing.
She already did child neglect on top of other mountain of problem
First story: NTA. OP’s brother said this incident was the straw that broke the camels back, so it wasn’t her fault. What Bri did could have gotten OP hurt or killed and, honestly, I would never trust someone like that.
I just had my wisdom teeth removed few months ago in May what brie did is unacceptable
Yeah.. what this OP is describing is GENERAL ANESTHESIA. I had to have it done for a "hot infection" on a tooth that needed pulled (hot meaning it was acidic so lidocaine wouldn't work on it). Its the exact kind of anesthesia they give you for heart surgery, you can't go to a pool and be left alone recovering from it, Jesus Christ.
I hope brie wakes up after this! She's pretty dopey.
Everyone reacts different each time going anesthesia my mouth only felt numb
@@Wolfe86 I was completely stoned and out of it and my friend who drove me, at the time was my friend's girlfriend (shes still my friend over 10 years later, he isn't, ironically)... apparently I woke up loudly singing "Shes my best friend's girl" by The Cars and asking for her. No, we're not romantically involved lol (although that might be funny), I was out and gay at the time and since then shes come out herself and has girlfriends exclusively now.
*First OP:* Bri ruined her own marriage by abandoning OP. What if OP wandered off, or passed out, and Bri wasn’t around? -Also, IIRC, Bri supposedly left her toddler daughter at home alone while Bri stepped out to go shopping, and that’s why OP’s brother is filing for divorce- nevermind, rSlash read the update. Either way, OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* That’s sweet that OP kept his tradition (?) with his sons well into their adulthood. He also made a good point about his wife not being an equal parent to OP’s sons. She’s their stepmom. And she does come off h0m0ph0bic for not wanting OP to hug and kiss Liam. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* OP was just defending herself from her boyfriend’s snobby friends. I’ve never experimented with Mary Jane, so I don’t know if OP’s boyfriend’s excuse is valid. OP is NTA. And shoutout to OP for making bank.
Not to mention OP was more vulnerable. The drugs make her an easy target to kidnap or take advantage of. Which is pretty fucked up to leave a vulnerable person like that. Bri definitely deserves 5/5 I would go as far as 10/5
Worse. Some creep could have found OP while drugged and taken advantage.
Weed is legal where im at and if its possible to get to high to defend someone i've never done it is possible to get high enough where nothing bothers you which might make you not defend someone but you wont get upset when they embarrass you
As someone who lives in a legal state, yeah, it's reasonable that OP's BF could have gotten too stoned to defend, or even be entirely sure of what was happening or the implications. However, if he was THAT stoned, he shouldn't have been able to argue with HER afterward. And if this argument happened after he sobered up, then that's even worse. The drugs are no excuse, from whatever angle. Either he couldn't defend and had a bad take afterward or he didn't defend because he had a bad take from the start. Absolutely TA either way.
I’ve tried it before and when I did it, it put things into perspective not be so debilitating that I can’t even hold a conversation 💀🧐 her bf was just making excuses and if that’s really what was going on with him then he shouldn’t be smoking weed anyway. 🧐😒
I came out as bi 2-3 years ago, and I have NEVER heard such nonsense. By that logic, I wouldn't be allowed to be affectionate to BOTH of my parents. OP's wife definitely deserved to be called out.
Right? What kind of backwards logic is she using? Why can’t his kids show their dad love and affection without her sexualizing it? It’s really weird and 100% homophobic.
Exactly, I’m aroace so I’m practically the complete opposite of being bi. By that same logic, me showing any affection would be leading people on instead of showing platonic love.
My brain deadass read "I came out as Bri" aka the Bri from the first story and I was SO confused.
@@_.-._.-. LOL that's gold 😂
As a pan person I 110% agree, the logic just isn't logicing
I'm surprised rSlash's daddy energy didn't trigger and raise Bri's score to full 5/5.
Abandoning a 2yo and a drugged 19yo? Yeah, straight up dangerous negligence. Unforgivable.
Same. If I had a husband and he did that. Yeah no way I'm staying married after that. Something like that ruins my trust and 99.999999999999% your not likely to be able to earn it back especially something like that. Imo he should have divorced her right then and there. Absolutely unforgivable.
You take a 2 yr old WITH you to the store. Wtf....
@@Avrysatos 100% my mom would take me to the store (and when my sisters were born them as well) as my dad wasn't around a lot as he was in the Army. So when Bri left the child at home to me that's an instant divorce.
@@ARC-0606 My mother did tether my wrist to hers with a made for children tether at that age if I wasn't in a cart though, because I'd hide under stuff and think it was funny. People apparently see that as the same as leashing your kid but it really wasn't
@@Avrysatos My mom had to use one of those leash backpacks or else I'd run around the store. I was a bit of a troublemaker as a child. I even locked my grandpa (rip) out of the house.
"him coming out is a big change" Sooooo what the brother is saying is the wife didn't know Liam at all? The kid is still the same person he was before he came out. Plus it's so sweet that the dad bonding with this kids is sweet and I love that they all seem happy to be snuggling with each other. The world is too damn stressful, enjoy the comforts where you can.
This isn't really a good take. It doesn't matter how well you know someone, if they are desperately hiding that they're gay, they really can keep it under such tight wraps that you would not know no matter how close to them you were, if they didn't want you to know.
Im gonna disagree slightly on the first story, husband deserves NTA score too, And the wife definitely deserves 5/5. Bro I would go even higher, 10/5. She left a 2 year old ALONE in a house for 20 MINUTES?!? That baby could have died. The baby could have left the house with the door unlocked, wandered around and gone missing, or have had something fall on said child when alone at home ( like a unbolted TV) or a chair or literally anything. That woman deserves her rights taken away for sure, because if she leaves a 2 year old alone at home for any amount of time, let alone 20 minutes, then yeah she is a danger to the baby. Oh and of course, left a 19 year old girl who was not 100% lucid alone in public. Considering how many people try to take advantage of girls already without that going on is disgusting and happening often, someone could have taken OP or worse. This woman is such a danger and so immature.
I 100% agree. I think the reason why the brother said among other stuff is he didn't want to talk about what she did previously but he did because OP felt it was her fault. If my husband (I'm single so this is a what if thing) left my 2 year old alone I'm instantly divorcing him. Hell if I ever decide to get a driver's license (I'm 23 with dog poo eye shit. Hell it's hard to see far away I have to get extremely close so I feel like I'm a danger to the road) I would take time off work to take a family member to get their wisdom teeth removed. That's just how I would be as I'm more family oriented.
What does all that have to do with giving the husband a butthole score he doesn't deserve?
Forget immature, she’s completely negligent and irresponsible.
Its crazy, i have 6 year old niece and i panic when i take 30 seconds to go the bathroom real quick while babysitting lol
She left the door open too. Someone could have taken the kid. The kid could have ran out and gotten hurt. It's reckless behavior and the husband is justified for GTFO.
It’s driving me nuts how it seems like EVERYTHING is being sexualized! I’m going to hug my kids and give them kisses on their cheeks and/or forehead. Playing with your infants like kissing their feet is stimulating them and helping them learn. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Story 2: I'm getting the vibe that she's jealous that OP is having more bonding time with the kids than her and she is using homophobia to justify it.
Nah, it’s pure homophobia. She’s perfectly fine with him cuddling with his heterosexual son, so it’s all about the other son’s sexuality. Like Slashy said, she’s sexualizing his affection for his son. Disgusting!
My naive ass would like to think that too, but I highly doubt it. At least I'd hope a human would rather be seen as a jealous person/getting embarrassed for telling him that she wants more attention than to be seen as an homophobe
A Karen's going to always Karen.
@@liuqmno3421 It's a nice thought, but given that people ridicule some dudes for even showing any kind of affection in general to their sons in a homophobic manner, it's most likely just the homophobia and nothing else.
Op wife actin like op is Tom brady
I took a human growth and development class in college years ago and we learned that, apparently, babies can develop severe depression that will effect their health and development if they don't get enough affection.
YES!!!!
Yet, some parents give the exact bare minimum and pull a surprised Pikachu face when their kid(s) cut contact as soon as they leave the “nest”!
I referenced that in my own comment actually, and I only know about that because I recently watched a _terrifying_ episode of _Law and Order: Special Victims Unit_ about it. (Shivers).
@@balanc-joy9187 what was the episode name? I love SVU and I don't remember that episode (unless it's from the newer seasons, which I can understand why I haven't seen it).
@@AngelinaParker It's Season 8, Episode 8, *_Cage_* I only recently found out about the show because it was recommended to me on Hulu.
First story: When you are literally drugged out of your mind just calling your brother can't possibly be counted as an asshole move. It's negative asshole, even: that was the most graceful to Bri thing that OP could have possibly done. If OP had stayed at the pool that would have caused Bri much bigger problems. I give OP negative 3 out of 5.
I think we need to see more negative a-hole scores.
wait a moment, negative 3 seems to generous. maybe negative 4 out of 5
Story 2: The brother is an enabler of the wife's homophobic behavior. He's reprehensible. OP is right -- there is nothing to "get" unless you're a homophobe.
What brother? The only brothers is Liam and Lucas and they didn't say or do anything. (????) WTF.
@@anndownsouth5070 Ops brother is enabling the wife were you listening to the story
As someone who is gay my grandparents currently are very accepting of multiple people in the family who came out as bisexual and or gay. But in the beginning they had never experienced or had to deal with a situation like this and while they were never intentionally rude there were times when there were just things they didn’t understand because they needed to get used to it. There are things to get used to if you have never experienced or don’t have exposure to LGBTQ+. Give people the CHANCE to learn before you just start hating. If they don’t learn or refuse to learn then I can understand but I believe in giving everyone a fair chance because maybe a chance is all someone needs. In this situation there is no risk to giving the step-mom a chance. Worse case I’m wrong and the ending of the story stays the same.
@@anndownsouth5070 OP has a brother that was mentioned! Just a casual friendly reminder! 💗🌟
@@bubbagrumb5696 Yeah, the conversation with the brother might be more nuanced than how it came off, ranging from saying that to just get OP to calm down and talk out how to move forward, to being an AH himself by telling OP he agrees with the wife. No way to know without further description. But I hope OP is able to carry the spirit of your comment into his relationship.
2nd story: love the dad. its rare for me to hear about dads being affectionate especially towards their sons. I adore him. hes def not the asshole. she is.
I really love that too, it shows that it is not effeminate of a father to show love to their kids especially their sons
Story 1: the fact that the door is unlocked is totally irrelevant. Bri left her 2yo unattended for at least 20 minutes. And we are not talking about "I'm in the next room doing stuff while she sleeps" unattended, we are talking noone can check on her for the entire time. The baby was literally a puke away from death.
EDIT: regarding the Chinese FB bit, yeah, the same people that take their 3-4 years old to take a shit on the walkway on a leash...
Id say its relavent. The kid could have just wanderd out and off. or someone could jave just waltzed in. not the main problem yes but it is of note
Well a two year old could totally get out through an unlocked door and get hit by a car
wut
@Bunnsie you’re right, I completely agree! Kids get snatched all the time by any number of dangers or whatever freak accidents
Dabney, saying he's getting a divorce because of his wife leaving his sister alone isn't blaming his sister. It's saying he's not taking his wife's narcissistic crap anymore.
I'm starting to think rslash is making up reasons to give husbands buttholes scores, because this is the most nitpicking I've ever seen.
@@secretshadow9515 and if the wife doesn't deserve 5 stars for leaving 2 vulnerable people helpless and alone, I guess that's just reserved for what, murderers?
@@debbymccormack6525 didn't rslash also say that he reserves 5/5 butthole points for child abusers? I know the story doesn't have anything to do with kids but in an update the wife left her niece by herself for groceries, yikes.
Edit: it's the wife's daughter not niece, my bad
@@secretshadow9515 I thought it was her daughter?
@@debbymccormack6525 just rewatched it, yeah your right. I meant op's niece not the wife's niece
Last story: OPs boyfriend needs to grow a spine and get better friends. She's NTA for standing up for herself
I agree but I think she could've done it with a bit more tact and not escalate it as far as she did. She's still in the right and the bf is in the wrong but you've gotta control your emotions
He has a spine. He just prioritized who to stand up for. And his girlfriend wasn't on the list.
@JadedEagle nah, He talked about how embarrassed he was that she was talking about how much more she made than him. I guess it wasn't embarrassing for her. When everybody was talking about her being poor and a gold digger, huh?
He only cared about how the conversation sounded when it made him sound bad
She's homophobic and the way he bonds with his sons is pure
The second story made me smile, then get mad. The smile was just how sweet the OP was with his boys, and them cuddling with him, it even reminds me of stories of how my Dad held me as a baby. The mad part is because of the wife, her obvious homophobia doesn't mean a thing for how the OP and his sons show their love and compassion for each other, and also that it makes her "uncomfortable" when this is a man and his _son_ makes it even more creepy and inappropriate to make a fuss about.
This is why I am not okay with being "accommodating and tolerant" to bigots in any way, they pull psychotic garbage like this, trying to ruin everything for everybody else for stupid and disgusting reasons just because how other people are and what they do "makes them uncomfortable". Fizz rocket them right to the moon!
Story 1: I want to add on to something. OP being heavily drugged means she's more vulnerable to being kidnapped. She's drugged out she wouldn't be able to properly fight back and defend herself!
When I first read the video's title I was like "Uhhh, the wife does know that love diversifies right?" There's different kinds of love.
For example:
A. Paternal love -> love of father to child
B. Maternal love -> love of mother to child
C. The love of friends
D. The love of direct and indirect family
E. Romantic love -> love for one's partner
The love for friends would be “platonic love”
In Ancient Greece, they had 6 different terms for Love that depended on context.
Passionate Love, aka Lustful Love, was Eros.
Phillia is the Love of Friends. Agape is the Love of Everyone.
Ludus is Playful Love, the kind a person has for their children or casual relations.
Pragma, Love Everlasting, the kind of love modern people look for when they marry.
And last, but certainly not least: Philautia, the Love of Oneself. The kind of love an individual requires of themselves to find happiness.
Thanks for the insight. I knew each had their own title, name, whatever in some sort of context, I couldn't place my finger on it.
@Roxy Lasch can Luna be like sisterly love?
@@ShadowReignhart there's actually 7 loves, and I only know this because some bosses in an rpg were named after the theming. The one you missed was Storge, the unconditional familial love, which that wife clearly doesn't have.
Story 1: OP did EXACTLY what she was supposed to in that kind of situation. When unaware of your surroundings, either because of alcohol or drugs, call someone you trust to pick you up. Absolutely, 100% NTA.
First Story, NTA: Good OP’s brother realized the red flag and dodge a bullet with this one. If she she was willing to abandon OP (who is completely out of it due to the meds) at the pool where anything could happen to OP, lord knows how responsible she is with her own kid. She pretty much shown how irresponsible she is. Lmaooo that edit proves what I just said earlier; she is very irresponsible
Second Story, NTA: OP’s wife is simply showing her true colors as a homophobe. It was fine before Liam came out as gay but after, she is suddenly uncomfortable. What the wife is trying to make OP do is to treat one son differently than the other because one is gay and the other isn’t which is extremely messed up
Third Story, NTA: Being high is a lame excuse to not defend ur partner. All OP did was defend herself against rude people. OP’s boyfriend deserved what he got
@@aduckofsomesort to not live with someone who could forget your kid any time and cause something to happen, so he dodged a bullet by saving his kid before anything could happen.
@@aduckofsomesort he could get full custody
Bri being mad at OP just once again proves, that she can't take responsablility for anything she does
It's textbook narcissism. I can do wrong, so it's somebody else's fault my husband is mad at me.
Bri using the word "tattle" also shows her level of maturity. (As if the rest of the story didn't already)
Yeah, the fact that not only was she blaming OP for her being divorced and that she said to OP's brother that leaving their kid alone with the door unlocked for almost half an hour is not a big deal pretty much proves that she sees nothing wrong with her actions and it's always someone else's fault in her eyes.
“… You can’t just leave an unattended two-year-old in an unlocked house. What is she? Crazy?“ yes.
Story 1;
NTA. Bri _is_ a danger.
Story 2;
NTA. OP's wife has issues. Way to try and turn something super sweet and wholesome into something messed up; that's her projecting and do not ignore this red flag.
Story 3;
NTA. Are we sure the bf isn't guilty of what the friends are trying to accuse OP of? His ego shouldn't be that bruised if he really doesn't care.
The last story: even if I were high I would have 99% sure made a comment that 'if anyone were a gold digger it'd be me'.
I am not currently in a relationship, but back when I was my gf (we wanted to split dates somewhat equally) actually wanted me to pay with her card. The first time I didn't make anything out of it (in public and her not being good at addressing people) but in private I told her I really don't mind. She ended up still sometimes handing me her card, but tbh it felt more awkward to flaunt her card then it felt to just let her pay. Women have been widely working for the better part of a century, why is this still such a stigma?
the first story: Before the update was read I was literally thinking "if Bri can be this neglectful to another human being that is depending on her, will she end up doing this to her daughter in the future?" but jokes on me, she already has a history of neglecting her kid! jfc that woman should never be allowed custody. I'm glad that OP's brother is getting a divorce because people like Bri never learn that their actions can literally get someone else killed until it's too late. I just feel bad for OP being the final straw because now Bri has someone she can put blame on other than herself and that's not fair to OP at all.
Story 2: I love that dad. Cuddling his grown sons because "tradition". That's adorable! OP's wife is definitely homophobic, in that she doesn't want Liam to get dad snuggles because it "makes her uncomfortable", but she's ok with Lucas getting dad snuggles because Lucas is straight. Not cool. She's not the parent, she's the step-parent. And what a stupid thing to want to control! "You can't cuddle with your gay son because I said so and I'm the parent too." Nope. Kick her to the curb, OP. Keep cuddling your boys.
Story 2: The wife telling him not to give his gay son affection had me saying "what?!" aloud, but then her saying she was fine with the straight son being hugged and kissed REALLY did my head in. I thought it was just a 'men shouldn't get physical affection' thing but nah just a 'omg don't kiss your gay son' thing. Tf???
Any time an adult uses the term 'tattling' they're in the wrong, period. If a 5 year old says it it, then that's one thing, if an adult uses it it, than they're doing it to dismiss the fact that they did something wrong and don't feel like they should be held responsible for it.
It's similar to the AITAH stories where someone gets mad because someone else embarrassed them... The issue isn't that someone else did something to embarrass them, it's that they did something they both are ashamed of, and should be ashamed of, and they got called on it. But they're mad that someone actually called them out on it and are trying to deflect it to someone else.
Story 1 nta I've had my wisdom teeth pulled and I was in no condition to stand. This was just the straw that broke the camels back. Its not ops fault.
Same here. I was wheeled out of my appointment and my dad practically lifted me into the car. I can't imagine being dragged to anywhere other than home after that.
10:10 Totally with you R/slash, also, do these "people" who sexualize _any_ affection to children not understand that babies _not_ being shown affection can _literally_ destroy them mentally? Affection is a part of nature, just look at how animals like cats are with their babies...what is wrong with some people?
Why would anyone ever feel like they have equal say in parenting decisions when they marry into a family with teenagers. Especially mid to late teens.
The first story provides proof that some people are a special kind of stupid. What kind of mental gymnastics does it take to leave a person who just had surgery in 90°+ weather in a car?
Edit: Apparently OP was taken to a table at the poolside, in 90°+ weather, in public, not to far from water and air filled with the bacteria from a bunch of random people. Going with this information the car would have been the better option.
She didn't leave op in the car, she took op out to a table in 90⁰+ heat and left them alone. In public. Op could have puked, passed out, been left there, or wandered off to find Bri. Both options were bad, but Op did the best thing by calling her brother.
@@undeadprincess5726 And probably under the hot sun.
@@undeadprincess5726 Also. Next to a pool. OP could have DROWNED.
And also the second
@@undeadprincess5726 That is actually several times worse.
As a mom of 6, I often blew raspberries on my kid's tummy or feet. I can still remember their giggles and squeals to this day. My oldest is now 32.
1. 150% NTA, I also needed to be knocked out for my wisdom teeth due to nerves and anxiety. If the state op was in was anything like mine, then Bri's negligence was beyond just selfish and into legitimately dangerous territory. On top of that, based on what the brother said this was just the straw that broke the camels back. Most likely she's done similar with the daughter. Edit: posted before the update, holy crap I wished I wasn't right...
2. NTA, I've heard this one before. You're a great dad to not treat your child differently after coming out. The wife's response is 100% homophobic and is based on the notion that homosexuality is by nature a sexual kink/deviancy. It's why so many homophobes think homosexuals are inherently pedophilic, they legit think that gay people can't control their sexual desires when in the presence of anyone of the same sex and can't be trust and because they're already "deviating", that includes children and family.
3. NTA, those guys are douchebags. It was just straight misogyny and would have occurred in some shape of form no matter what she said. Them assuming you don't make much? Gold digger whøre, even though you said you were going to help your neighbor after they had a fire. Had you told them what you did and how much you make early? They probably would have insinuated you're sleeping with the boss or talk about "career women and feminists" make bad wives and that you would still probably leave him once someone richer came along. Seriously, you were friendly and trying to talk about hobbies and how kind you're being with a neighbor and twisted it in a way that they could demean you, no matter what you said they would have found a way to talk sexist crap about you.
I feel like in stories like the first one, where a divorce is theoretically caused by someone learning about their spouses actions, the person who reveals that information can never truly be at fault (especially not if their under the influence of medication). Because at the end of the day, they didn’t make anyone do the bad thing, and they’re not forcing the enlightened spouse to get divorced. It’s the couples decisions that ultimately matter most, not the outside party who provides situational awareness.
I don't think the brother in the first story deserves a butthole score here, him saying it's OP's fault isn't in a blame context, I'd see it more in the context of "thanks to you I see how shitty a person she is now".
11:21 Story 3: I had something like this happen to me with in my first relationship. While in class, for some reason, my then bf’s friend was talking smack about me. I naturally got heated as time went on and we had a verbal fight across the room. It wasn’t until a guy sitting next to my then bf asked, “aren’t you going to defend your girl?” I looked at him and he just lowered his head. That was the nail in the coffin for me and I knew our relationship was going to end. There were other issues that made me upset like him not listening to me when I said I didn’t want to be picked up and basically going limp to prevent him picking me up. I was only 100lbs and he failed at his attempt and commented how heavy I was, so I felt bad about my weight. He was also boring in texting and irl conversation but I was willing to continue the relationship but from the two prior incidents, I was done. I broke up with him soon after and never forgot the lesson of staying with someone like him, boring, a coward, and someone who didn’t bring more joy to my life.
I’m not saying that OP should definitely break up since it’s up to her to decide that. But since her bf was so willing to let her get a verbal beating and not defend her or tell the others to stop, she should look more closely into their relationship .
First story: Idk how you got 'blaming OP' out of the first story my dude. If anything 'among other things' implies that 'this isn't your fault, this is just what broke the camels back'.
Second story: Yikesss
Third story: "wah it was humiliating" and how was what they did to OP, NOT humiliating? It's okay for her to be humiliated but not you? (I wrote this before you answered lol, I liked to pause and write what I think before I forget.)
The story about the dad kissing his sons' foreheads 😭🥺💕 They are so lucky to have such an affectionate and loving and accepting father. Every little boy (and older boy for that matter!) deserves to be hugged and cuddled and kissed by their parent(s) and any time I hear anyone suggest that a father should not show affection to his sons makes my blood BOIL
That first story, I had something similar happen to me. When I got my wisdom teeth removed I had to be put under at the hospital, oh this was round two of trying to get them removed. Round one they gave me Versed, which was a bad idea! I flipped out and it took the dentist and SIX nurses to hold me down, my mom heard me screaming from the lobby. Wound up breaking that fancy dentists chair in my struggles. At least that was what my mom relayed to me, due to Versed's amnesiac properties I don't really remember much after they stuck me with the IV until we were in the car headed home.
I feel awful for OP in the first story. I only had 3 wisdom teeth and I scheduled a surgery to have all 3 removed at once so they didn’t use just the gas for the surgery and gave me the IV as they did for her since the more you have removed at once the more painful it is. I can tell you that even after I “woke up” after the surgery I was still in a state that would make blacking out drunk look easy (I remember trying to sit down into the car and hitting my head on the top I was still so out of it). I can’t imagine being left out in public like that much less at a pool or something where if I fell in I wouldn’t have been able to even swim from all the medication. Bri is setting a very dangerous example in this video and I can’t blame the husband for throwing that red flag on top of the stack of all the others. Hope their kid is safe and happy.
I'm always glad this gets updated at the same time everyday, just in time for lunch
I swear, the homophobic wife is like.... really not that surprising to me. Unfortunately, people love to sexualize the crap out of us LGBTQ+ people even when the situation we're in has nothing to do with sex (i.e. expressing affection for a parent). This is like.... so dumb. Like... soooooooo dumb omg. I will say I'm glad the dad is showing acceptance for his son especially since I know the stereotype is that the dad usually would be the one who would have more of an issue than the mom.
If I was OP in that scenario, not only would I have called her out for homophobia, but I also would have said "Why the hell are you trying to sexualize something that isn't sexual?"
Story 1: NTA. Wow, I remember getting my wisdom teeth removed and being put under for it. I woke up so disoriented and nauseous, my vision was hazy and I couldn't walk without stumbling and getting my dad to help me to the car. I was around 17, in high school at the time. My dad made sure to help me into the house, and gave me a vitamin water since I wanted one. But, even that tiny bit of flavor made me throw up. He held my hair back while I got sick and tucked me in on the couch before I passed out. THAT is how you take care of someone. Not whatever the hell Bri was doing. The meds are so strong, how could Bri even think to take OP to the beach? She COULD have taken her home and left for the beach after, like was it soooo important that she had to risk OP's health? No. No it wasn't. And the fact that she called it "tattling" when OP called her brother is just immature. I don't blame the brother for leaving her; she sounds like a garbage person.
As a 24 year old woman usually called Bri, my half zoned out self got so confused with the first story
Nothing like r/slash in the morning!
I was very confused but realized that i’m in Sweden where it’s 15.00 and you’re probably in the United States.
Got the notification 1 minute after release
@@terrifictortoise5602 9AM EST, 6AM PST. Very much morning in the US
@@terrifictortoise5602 Yes it is 6 am where I am.
@@terrifictortoise5602 he uploads at about 7:00 am 07:00 Mountain Time Zone.
First story should get 5/5 not only did the SIL leave OP in a public place while drugged up, she left her near a pool, very easy to walk around and drown on accident.
I always cuddled with my grandma, and in my family it's also normal to kiss your family on the cheek or on the lips. I came out to her as queer, and it would honestly have felt awful if she stopped with that just because of that... just because I'm attracted to women doesn't mean that I'm attracted to women within my family? That way of thinking is disgusting
geez. here I feel bad when I leave my 3.5yo and 1.5yo in the LOCKED house for 2 minutes while I take the trash out.
Today is my mom's birthday. Her name is Karen. She's is a nice karen and thinks all the karen memes are hilarious.
From my experience in fast food, every customer actually named Karen has been nothing but a delight
The Karen we deserved
I disagree with OP giving the brother a butthole rating because it’s too me like if the wife did that to their daughter he’d say he’s divorcing her for that reason plus others. Rslash sometimes you need to really think about what you’re saying.
"There's no gold here to dig." has
got to be one of the sickest burns.
First story: sounds like this incident was the straw that broke the camel's back... Oops! He just said that in the update!
I'm really close with my Dad. We cuddle in a similar position to the Dad in story 2, and he still kisses my face (head, cheeks) as do I. I'm 21. There's absolutely no problem doing that with your children of you're close and nobody feels uncomfortable
The first story that's exactly what I thought had happened. Bri had left their daughter alone somewhere and having done it now with a heavily sedated sister is the sign to show she'll most likely do it again with the daughter. That is nothing mother material. My ex did it too and how we described it was she wanted to be more of an aunt than a mom. Someone who likes the attention of a mother but not the responsibility
I have a feeling that i've already heard the second story
The fact that OP's sons would still cuddle with their dad throughout their teens is amazing and adorable.
Id just like to say that I absolutely love your videos and listen to them everyday at 7 when I am getting ready for work so thank you for doing what you do!!!
Oo that is absolutely beautiful with the two boys that they're in their twenties and they still like to cuddle with their dad that's so awesome somebody raised their kids the right way kudos to that man
This can't be the only thing Bri did. This was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Story 1: Not to mention, what if OP would have tried to get to a bathroom or the car and fell into the pool or passed out or worse?
Physical affection is literally necessary for a child to survive. There were experiments done on this.
that homophobic mother had better be careful to never hug their daughter, in case it turns her lesbian. And if they ever have a son, she'd better not hug him either, because that'd be an indication of incestuous desire. shee.
OP should make sure that wife isn't saying anything homophobic in front of, or directly to, their daughter - she's young enough to soak up prejudices without question..
[] The really poor people in the last story are those who define themselves only by what they do for a job, meaning that they have no life outside work.
"Help me, I'm stuck in the washing machine!" Thank you, Dabney, for your delightfully twisted sense of humor, you are so funny because you seem to be able to paint vivid word pictures so that when you say it, I see it! Also, I hope that in the future you are able to get your other channel going again because it was awesome while it lasted, but as long as there's Rslash, I can get my fix of Daily Dabney Doozies! Thanks Dabney, for all of your hard work, you're a rockstar!
So she wanted to leave a severely impaired person, alone, next to a large body of water, for possibly hours? NTA. OP better be ready to tell her story to the judge to show how irresponsible the ex wife is with anything that is defenseless.
Makes me wonder if that was attempted murder or something.
Story 1: That is just disturbing what this woman was doing to her SIL and her own baby. Its a damn miracle nothing has happened to the baby with such a irresponsible Mother. OP is so lucky her Brother checked in to see what was going on, she could have been kidnapped or worse. Then this woman has the audacity to try and blame OP for the things that are her own fault. Totally sounds like a narcissist, nothing she does can ever be wrong its someone else's fault of course.
Story 2: The wife is making a healthy farther-son bonding time sound sexual, because the son is gay. What the heck is wrong with this woman. On top of being a homophobe, she seriously thinks a gay man is going to want to screw his own Dad that raised him? I wonder if she is of the belief anyone that isn't strictly straight wants to bang anything that moves of their preferred gender related or not cause there is no possible way they have preferences like 'normal' people. And that is just disgusting that some people are sexualizing how parents interact with their babies.
I don't think the brother *should* have gotten a butthole score, R/Slash. I think what the brother MEANT was that previous incidents leading up to the latest stunt his soon-to-be-ex-wife pulled is what broke the camel's back. He wasn't blaming the sister, just telling her that - essentially - his wife's disregard for his sister's safety is *what* tipped him over. But yeah, the ex-wife? *MAJOR BUTTHOLE!*
the first story actually triggered me. i got all 4 wisdom teeth out at once and i was literally crying and moaning in bed from the pain and discomfort, and i was at home. it would’ve been HELL to go through that alone in public while confused. it’s just deplorable that she would do that to her boyfriends sister
I've been under anasthesia a few times. only had a bad reaction once, but it was an awful bad reaction. vomitting, completely out of it, tripping etc. I couldn't take care of myself, and the hospital knew that. which is why there was a nurse when I woke up from surgery, and they waited untill I was ok to leave WITH a caretaker, who would drive me home. if someone then leaves you in a public place, it's like abondoning someone who has been roofied. it shows awfull responsibility on Bri's side. with the update added it just makes it that much more awful. I can imagine that if your wife just leaves your kids, a 2 year old kid alone like that, leaves a drugged up person alone...yeah that's a pretty big dealbreaker to most people.
Same here tho after that experience I decide not to go with it unless absolutely necessary. I've been under more times than I can remember (it sucks having NF1 basics of what you need to know is I'm more at risk of getting a brain tumor or cancer more than your average person. If you want to know more definitely check out. Before you say it doesn't exist because it does only 200,000 each year I think it was is born with this condition. You'd be surprised how many times people say I'm lying and it's made up and not real yada yada yada.) I've done so many MRIs since I was a kid. At 10 I believe that or 12 can't remember which my memory is absolutely terrible for someone who's 23. I got horrible sick. I had a hard time keeping anything done that day. That's when I decided to not do it again. Like I said unless it's necessary. Plus it's not bad having to be in an MRI without anesthetics like I thought it would be (aside from always having to get poked twice. I have itty bitty veins. Which sucks the nurse feels terrible having to poke me twice. Curse being a premature baby if you want to know I was born at about 22-25 weeks, 3.5 pounds. So I was a small baby. Heck I'm small to this day. Seriously all 3 of my younger sisters 13, 15, 17 are all taller than I am).
I'm actually so warmed by the relationship second OP has with his kids. Having such a shame free, affectionate relationship with them is SO good for his kids as boys. I'm sure they are both much more emotionally capable and self forgiving people as a result of his loving parenting. The only reason this would be "weird" to you is if you are uncomfortable with men being loving and affectionate, which is just Toxic Masculinity 101
The best part of every morning is rSlash videos
First Story: it seems like the brother finally snapped and was tired of his wife BS. Why would anyone want to be married to their wife when that wife puts other people in danger? And we don't even know how many other times she has done something this horrible... why would anyone wants to have kids with a women like that?
Mrs Rslash was like if I have to know this dumb story then you do too
Maybe it’s just me, but if/when I’m a parent, I don’t want any of my kids to be attracted to me, son or daughter.
And man, I love your wife, Rslash!
And they won't, they'll naturally love you cuz you're their parent, not because they're attracted to you.
A gay a day keeps the Karen away
You're wrong because according to a Karen, you can catch the gay. So it is up to the Karen to use her powers of entitlement to stop this from happening. She will then use her powers, "Summoning of managers", to get you fired from whatever you are doing.
“Stop telling me how to parent”?? That line doesn’t work when it’s literally his kid too Bri
Thr First story hit me hard because when I was 16/17,I also got all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed . I was knocked out for like an hour. When I woke up,I was a little panicky and put my hair up and tried to get up. My mother was there with me the whole time and prevented me from doing stupid stuff. I don't remember every detail except that my mouth was numb and my face felt funny. I looked like stan smith for 3 weeks. But what I remember is how helpless and confused everything was for me. My mom called a cab and we got home. Took a few hours until the meds wore off and everything hurt. I was lucky to have someone caring with me through the whole thing. Op's SIL is a pos and could've gotten op killed. You don't take someone drugged to a Pool. Like wtf. I'm so glad op's brother was there for her. Holy crap man.
Story 1: NTA speaking from experience having even minor surgery can basically knock you out of reality and what that sister in law did endangered you because if you can't walk by yourself imagine trying to swim, it's not your fault she was called out on it's her fault for being so dangerously reckless to not only you but to your niece
Not to mention OP was (in that state) unable to defend herself. Someone could have kidnapped her or even worse things. She definitely deserves getting divorce if I had a husband and he did that to one of my family members. I would divorce him. That's absolutely irresponsible and unforgivable imo
@@ARC-0606 trust me if anyone I knew family or friend did that to a person I loved then they'd be lucky to just get divorced
@@shadowmewfred09 Oh most definitely. I'm pretty sure OP or his brother has grounds to sue for something I can't remember how many but there's a lot they can (I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep so I'm not exactly 100% in the best state to remember stuff like that). Plus I know it sounds cynical but I don't think she was meeting with friends. Her friends would understand why she has to cancel and leave. I think she was having an affair, the signs seem to point yo it getting angry about that definitely is unreasonable because you can just reschedule the thing with friends.
@@ARC-0606 think you might be able to sue under reckless endangerment and maybe the pool staff for allowing her to be in there (not sure not a lawyer) but at the very least I would want to make sure any kids would never go near her, kick out of the place if she was staying and blast to everyone what she did because holy hell she cannot be trusted. Plus yeah totally think she was there just to get a tan or to hit up some boys because the fact no one went to check up on her ment there were no friends or they're just as shitty as she is
First story, I agree OP is NTA, but I disagree that her brother is an asshole. The way it was phrased seemed more like the event was the catalyst for the divorce finally happening and he wasn't blaming OP at all. That's my read of it.
"At least Im a rich b word" -words of wisdom
rslash, if you and your wife can laugh about stupid stuff together, then she's a keeper.
First story, OP's brother best get custody because *holy shit* Bri is a terrible person and terrible parent.
He most likely will
First story: rSlash did you stretch before making that huge reach. He's not putting all the blame on his sister or anything like that. That's ridiculous. You're trying way too hard to find fault with that man there. If he's blaming anyone then it's his negligent wife for being negligent and putting his sister in danger. What is wrong with you?
With the last story I'm gonna give the boyfriend 3/5 buttholes because not only is he not defending his girlfriend, he was using the fact that he was high to justify not being willing to defend her. I'm a weed smoker myself and if I were high I probably would have at LEAST said "nah, you're wrong" to the friends and openly admitted she made double my pay. Your salary does not define your reputation; it's your relationships that define your reputation. If people get along well with you for who you are, THAT is what your reputation.
It was on the boyfriend for being embarrassed that he made less and refusing to be any degree supportive of OP. Her achievements should be acknowledged, and if you have the knowledge of these achievements then using them to defend your significant other proves you're both loyal to them and proud of what they've done to get to where they are.
Remember, if your friends are getting defensive and calling you the asshole for defending your SO by shutting down their false accusations, then they're clearly not good friends.
Sorry for the wild ramble. I'm actually high right now as I'm typing this.
I got my wisdom teeth done a few months ago, and I was put to sleep while they did it. After the surgery, my vision was blurry, I couldn't walk straight and I felt awful. I cannot imagine how awful it would be to be abandoned by a POOL. She cannot think straight and is left by an open body of water. That is so dangerous.
@rslash As someone who is gay my grandparents currently are very accepting of multiple people in the family who came out as bisexual and or gay. But in the beginning they had never experienced or had to deal with a situation like this and while they were never intentionally rude there were times when there were just things they didn’t understand because they needed to get used to it. They still treated everyone the same way they usually did acting as if nothing was different (because it wasn’t we are all still the same people) but when they couldn’t just treat everything as normal there were situations. All they needed was time to learn and time to adjust. The wife is wrong and she might actually be homophobic but many many things in this video are just putting words in her mouth. From the way it sounds she never has had that much exposure to gay people so at least give her the opportunity to learn. If she doesn’t learn then do what you want. As the son of a step-father I can say that he has/had equal part say in parenting me now the kids aren’t kids in this they’re adults so it’s a lot different but saying your not as much of a parent implies that you do not love them as much and or are not allowed to love them as much as the ‘real’ parent which if the step-mom actually does care for her step-kids would be a very harsh and hurtful thing to hear. Maybe I’m looking at things through rose tinted glasses or I am misinterpreting/misheard things but I would rather give the benefit of the doubt especially when there is no risk in not giving her the benefit of the doubt. Worst case scenario I’m wrong in which case the end of the story doesn’t change, the difference being if I’m even slightly right then there might be less hate in all this.
I was gonna defend my girlfriend, but then I got high. Was gonna lay into all my coworkers, but then I got high
Because I got high because I got high, because I got high.
Laughing SO HARD @ "have you tried being LESS homophobic?" 😂😂😂 rslash comin in with the best advice 👏🏻🙌🏻
2nd OP is so wholesome I love that they have that bond
Thanks for the vid rslash!!!! Keep it up
When you love your kids, it’s doesn’t matter if they are straight or gay. You should just show them that you love no matter what. 😁👍🏼
The key phrase in the first story is *"other this she done"*. This was just the last strike of many offenses. NTA.
Story 1: Are you sure OP's brother should be married to her? She is the type to only care about herself instead of anyone else around her. A massive flashing red alarm. What Bri did could have gotten OP hurt, or worse. OP is NTA. Kudos to her bro for taking OP's side.
I think rslash agrees that OP's brother should get a divorce, but he thinks OP's brother made it sound like it's OP's fault.