r/AmITheA--Hole for Showing My Mother-in-Law My Adult Toys?
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:06 Family checked my nightstand and found some toys
2:57 NTA way over the line
3:46 Dad invites step sister after I told him it not to
8:42 My therapist is the mole
10:54 Parents kicked me out at 18 as soon as possible
14:02 I ransacked my boyfriends apartment
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
First story: It's a HIPAA violation to share info without permission (except in situations of imminent danger of course). HIPAA violations are no joke, and losing your license is often just the beginning.
This therapist can be completely ruined by this. And she SHOULD BE.
I was about to say this exact same thing!
HIPAA is legally binding. Violating HIPAA is literally illegal
Yeah that’s completely wrong to share information
The only thing I question, is if she put him on the a list of "people the therapist is allowed to talk to."
If there is no such list, then yes, she violated HIPPA.
As a Psychology Major, I can confirm that the therapist in the first story would definitely lose her license. By law she isn’t allowed to tell ANYONE what they discuss in those therapy sessions unless OP is seen as a danger to herself or others, and in that case the therapist would only be authorized to notify the police. Absolutely abhorrent behavior. Dump the man AND the shrink.
Also, that sounds like incredibly gaslighty behavior from the therapist.
@@NekoYuki I bet the husband selected this therapist for her
@@JadeyCatgirl99 I would not be surprised if he sleeping with her too
@@JadeyCatgirl99 Would not be surprised in the slightest. Abusive partners are not opposed to using underhanded tactics like that.
Yeah, once you turn twelve at therapist sessions you have adult like privacy, meaning if they want to tell your partner/parents something, they need your permission, I absolutely agree with dumping the man AND the shrink
Story 2: Them being so eager to kick out OP as well as lying about OP going to college implies that the parents only saw OP as a burden and couldn't do anything about it until OP turned 18. OP's honesty literally got them the karma they deserved.
Yep. In the words of EpicLloyd, that's the bed they made, now they can sleep where they shit.
In the UK when this happens its usually because the child benefits stop once they reach legal age
Facts
Notice how frequently in these Reddit stories when the truth of a situation is revealed to others the evil party cries about OP embarrassing them.
He should have thrown in the bit about the midnight wake-up call to really shove their face in it. And I don't know what his parents thought would happen when they gave him the chance to throw them under the diesel train in front of the whole family. Douches AND stupid.
I've noticed a lot of these stories boil down to "Am the bad guy for calling someone out on there bad behavior, or telling the truth when asked about what happened?"
No, you're not the bad guy here. The person who is guilting you into silence is. They just want to be able to hurt people, and not face any consequences for it.
In most of these stories there are other people siding with the buttholes and I'm guessing [and sometimes it's in the posts] the OPs didn't have the best upbringings which leads them to wonder and write those posts. It's a good thing that there's a place for them to get an outside perspective on what's normal and what's not.
@@limiv5272 I've used reddit in this way before in abusive situations. I start to feel crazy and it helps to get outside opinions to gain perspective.
I can't do too many of these in a row or I get irrationally mad. It's sad to see so many abusive people getting away with so much over good people.
Thinking about it, I guess I just have to count the fact all these OPs are finally getting an outside view as that breakthrough moment for them. Hopefully they move forward with more self confidence in the future, or at least a different perspective. It has to said though, that how they frame the story can greatly sway the Reddit mob.
Last story: Hiding/taking your partners legal documents, such as passport/ID/drivers license/birth certificate, to prevent them from leaving (you, the house or the country), falls most definitely under domestic/intimate partner abuse. I'm glad that op got out of that situation as her partner would have escalated his behavior sooner or later. IMO he deserves the full 5/5 buttholes. Abusers need to be held accountable.
Also taking someone's passport is a felony and can get you fined and up to 1 year in prison.
It's also identity theft and a form of holding someone hostage. Both super illegal.
3 out of 5 was being too generous. He definitely deserves a 5 out of 5. I was literally dumbfounded by the generous 3 out of 5. I don't care what the Abuser's reasons were NOTHING justifies his behavior and then hypocritically encouraged OP do what the Abuser feared. For once R/SLASH is a hypocrite.
Also I feel like this part is also important, it was THEIR apartment not just HIS. He wanted op to move in so at that point it’s both of their apartment. On top of the stealing and the abusive behavior
@@ravenheaven2425 For once? He's had several consistently-bad takes when it comes to abusive spouses.
First story: NTA
Divorce that guy and sue that therapist because sharing such information with someone else IS illegal.
Divorce? Nah. They can work out. People are just so quick to divorce over everything. He wanted to make sure she was okay. If anything the fault is on the therapist for divulging the information even if he asked. Him getting information about her from a hippa violating therapist isn't grounds enough to get a divorce when they can easily solve the issue with communication.
@@ArtIsAPassion24 Every time I'm on that sub reddit I see people go straight to divorce and it breaks my heart cause the op sometimes says its a good idea, when all they have to do is work it out!
Divorce isn’t always the answer. This is why our generation is trash
All of you should know that she keeps defending her husband even after this.
@@onyhow amazing
Story 1: That's freaking illegal, like a HIPAA violation. Husband's gotta go too, I'm willing to bet had those stories been true he'd have sent in a friend and made her gaslight OP
Story 2: This is the 50th time I've said this, but here we go again. "If all it takes is the truth to destroy someone, let it destroy them", by me. They don't get to pull this crap, then lie to look good.
Story 3: What exactly did she expect to find when going through OPs private stuff in a room she had no business being in?
Story 4: The freaking cheek of this guy to not only bring the stepsister, but try and use the hotel room OP paid for after she left. He's not sorry, he's just trying to get her to pay for a do-over with his new shiny daughter. Don't apologize, OPs mother needs to back off
Story 5: He literally held her passport hostage, so he could prevent her going to the wedding, but he's trying to make her out to be the crazy one? GET THE HELL OUT OP, BEFORE HE WEARS YOUR SKIN
"Friend", more like flying monkey.
@@fnjesusfreak Checked comments, apparently not a friend, but handsomely bribed with 'a lot of money'
Counseling/Therapy grad student here! OP in that first story definitely has grounds to sue/report. That was definitely an ethics violation. The therapist can only share what OP says if they believe OP was a danger to themselves or someone else (in which they report to the proper agency) or if they wanted assistance on how to help OP with an issue (in which they ask a supervisor). Neither involves telling OP's husband under ANY circumstance. Total break of confidentiality.
If they have no supervisor? Can they call another therapist and ask them without giving out the personal info (i.e. name, dob)? I’m asking for a personal reason I had a therapist do that to me without asking me if I was okay with it.
HIPAA violations!! Op needs a lawyer yesterday!!
That therapist is the reason I plan on never going to therapy for any issues
@@MandyM8807 Yes, as long as they don't give out any identifying information for you, they can reach out to another licensed therapist or counselor for assistance if they don't have a supervisor. No one has all the answers after all, so it's best to ask for help if they can but they should at least make you aware that they are doing so. It's just common courtesy!
@@ckinggaming5bucketmadness766 Though I know this will sound like I'm just hyping up my field, I think that everyone should go to counseling or therapy if they feel they need to. There are bad practitioners out there, I won't lie...but the guidelines in place have a way for clients to always take them to task if they're doing more harm than good. Most people going to counseling don't know that they can confront their counselor if they aren’t helping, I sure didn't when I first started. Also, there are a lot more good therapists than there are bad ones.
For the step daughter story. It rlly shows how ops father is as a person that he had the audacity to still go on the vacation op is paying for with his step daughter when op didn’t wanna go. Like wtf.
I was thinking that exact thing like the audacity is strong with this one
I don't get the mom , how it is wrong to cancel they were supposed to go together not have 3d wheel stepsister along and when she refuses he still goes on the vacation without her.
@@velvety2006 Because mom is probably so used to kowtowing to her ex’s will and apologizing and compromising even when she shouldn’t just to keep him from flipping out (or threatening to ghost the daughter or withhold child support payments) that it’s just second nature after all this time.
Wow! I hadn't picked up on that. But, you're right and it makes OP's father's behaviour so much worse.
Call the reason why the father was trying to pay for the trip was that he was going to bring the stepsister along. She kept pressing to pay for it to show how mature she was. He couldn’t dissuade her without spilling the beans and ruining the surprise. Frankly screw him. He gets what he deserves.
First story: NTA that therapist is a bad joke, EVERYTHING that is said in a therapy session becomes private and I am not a therapist but the one I was going with informed me that only with children who go to therapy certain things are usually discussed, not all, with parents and the adult stuff stays there between professional and patient, so yes, they definitely can and should revoke that woman's license.
Yeah as long as there's not imminent danger you can confess to all manners of crimes. They can't do shit.
Hi, I went to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy back when I was in my late teens to tackle some *heavy* trauma as a kid, but I won't get into that.
However, what I will get into is the law, All counselling and therapies are confidential subjects to the constraints of English law and ethical practice. I'm not sure where OP is living, but where I live, if a therapist and/or counsellor break this confidentiality, it's a no-no.
The only exception is admissions of crime, terrorism or serious life-threatening situations like self-harm or suicide, those are extreme cases where the confidentiality agreement is broken, and the therapist/counsellor may act on in through the proper channels.
Story 3: Its even worse because not only did he sneak the step daughter in at the last minute, but he STILL went to the vacation hotel without OP. A vacation OP paid for. That is so messed up. Him bringing the step daughter was the reason OP didnt to go anymore, and instead of telling the step daughter to go home he just takes the step daughter to the hotel OP paid for!? Thats so messed up!
Yeah. To be honest, at first I was actually thinking "okay, they ARE both graduating so this could've been an honest mistake that looked bad given the prior history," then of course, everything you said. He was manipulating her.
Unfortunately there are times people - usually the fathers - get married and become more loyal to their "new family." Which is so screwed up. You already had a kid.
And I just can't get over the fact that he still went to the hotel OP paid for. That makes this even worse for me.
Yeah I was scrolling here trying to find someone who noticed it. Not only did he majorly hurt her feelings, he also then decided to let hurt feelings be hurt and instead spend HER vacation with his other daughter. This is not only favouritism, this is abusive.
And the fact that her mother then said that she shouldn't have canceled the hotel is giving me dry heaves.
@@RiesenWuschel the mother telling the daughter she was wrong just sent me. OP is paying for the hotel room! if OP isn't going, of COURSE she's going to call to cancel. on what planet does she need to specify that to anybody?
This may be a hot take but I feel like the dad was just trying to treat the step daughter as one of his own as she had lost her dad and he’s obviously been her life for long
So..on top of all the above, he was going to take his 18 year old step daughter, alone, on a vacation where they would sleep in the same hotel room, a step daughter that he didn't raise and who he has only known for a few years....given all that, and the stats on step parents, I'm gonna surmise something's not entirely leave it to beaver wholesome here....
First story: NTA. Dump his ass and gtfo. Also, sue the therapist. You’re not supposed to tell anyone what your patient tells you!!!! Also, he was spying on her via the therapist. Get outta here with that BS.
Right? That therapist needs to lose his license and do some time.
The only exception is when they truly feel that you are a danger to yourself or others. Even then they're supposed to contact more than just the husband or something
I'm surprised he didn't put a bug on her so that he could listen in to make *really* sure that she was safe ...
@@callanightshade8079 They're supposed to contact the authorities, not your relatives.
@@seabass819 why do u think its a man
For the final post, that's not just stealing or ruining a vacation. Thats taking away means of identification and her own legal documents from her, that makes it way way worse, and with the controlling behaviour she mentioned - horrifying.
I wonder if it is a federal offense to steal a passport.
Just googled: yes it is.
I think that the reason that the grandpa in the second story is so pissed is because they gave the parents money to put toward the grand kid’s college. And grandpa just found out that the money most definitely did not go to a college fund.
I know money isn’t specifically mentioned in the story, but I wouldn’t put it past those awful parents to kick out the kid and spend and “college funds” on themselves.
Why not assume the obvious of what a human should? That he is pissed because his grandson was thrown in the streets.
@@renatoramos8834 I think he’s pissed about that too. But I don’t think that one reason warrants two whole hours of ranting.
@@Hybrid301 That one reason warrants beating the shit out of that scum and never seeing them again. What are you on about?
Don't make up details that aren't there and try to make them facts. I'm sure if what you're implying had actually happened then OP would have mentioned it.
It's a reasonable theory, although what they did was bad enough on its own to warrant the shouting and cussing
Rslash, for the stepsisters and dad story. You forgot to include the fact that after OP refused to go the vacation with her stepsister, dad and stepsister went to the hotel anyway. OP paid for the hotel herself, refused to go when she learned she was lied to, cancelled the reservation, and dad went with the stepsister, despite not even paying for the hotel. What the actual fuck is wrong with this man?
Uh, did you stop listening after 11:45? Rslash mentioned all of that, wtf?
@@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00
A. I think your time stamp is wrong.
B. I am saying in rslash's critique, he talks about boundaries and everything. All fine. But he fails to add to the comment that dad basically said "oh, you aren't coming? Your loss. I'm going to use the hotel, since you want to be a 'baby' about it." And taking advantage of OP's money, and treating stepdaughter, while completely neglecting his own daughter. It's another extra level of being an asshole, separate from lying and boundary crossing. Taking advantage of a "gift" that was meant to be shared
@@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00 It seems to me that you misunderstood what Wilson Sunny meant. Yeah sure it was mentioned in OP's post but I think Sunny meant that in Rslash's evaluation of the story, he didn't touch on how crappy it was of the father to take his stepdaughter on the holiday anyway after cancelled.
@@this_is_a_tiny_town I thought just rSlash focused on the important part
@@limiv5272 absolutely yes, he did focus on the most important part. Just in other stories in other episodes, he attacks every single part of what the AH did wrong. In this story, he even was going to put AH points for the step daughter. But he doesn't mention the next level of AH choices dad makes.
Which, completely aside, I bet stepdaughter was trying to hoard dad away from OP. Whether it was malicious to separate him from OP for selfish reasons of spite, or she was subconsciously co-dependent after losing her own father.
Gonna have to disagree on the second story the parents score should be far higher. Immediately cutting the cord too early can literally ruin people’s lives this guy was lucky to be prepared. 4-4.5 butthole points is what I’d give them
yeah 3.5 is abit too soft for them if my parent does that to me then they become stranger to me and i can tell whatever the fuck i want and never answer their call because why would i care about stranger?
also that father in later story he gave him a 4.5 like what the hell mom and dad kicking son out is 3.5 but dad not paying attention to you is somehow worse at 4.5?
Id give them a 5 tbh
Woah the step-sister beach situation: The Dad left with the Step-sister?
Dude made a choice right there.
Yea she booked everything, and he "surprised" her last second, literally last second, changing the whole dynamic of the holiday from father-daughter quality time to general family time.
She then said this was not the deal, and he left with the step-sister? To the hotel OP had booked.
Expecting to use her reservation to spend the week with his step-daughter doing EXACTLY what OP wanted to do with him.
When you think about it like that it gets really fucked up.
Last story. "It was behind some books in his study i never go into". Kudos to OP for her police level investigation skills!
MIL snooping stories always get me laughing. There's no way in hell my MIL is setting foot in our bedroom for any reason. There's absolutely never any good reason for her or SIL to be in there esp without myself or hubby.
I'm a MIL. It would never occur to me to go into my son's and DIL's bedroom. I won't go into my grandchildren's bedrooms without permission. Their personal spaces, not my business.
'how dare you set a trap for my family' well if the family did not snoop and he at least gave op the benefit of doubt that she might be right there would have been no need for the trap. but he said his mom would never snoop lol.
@@velvety2006 Yeah, it sounds like he's more mad that the plausible deniability is gone and this officially something he has to deal with.
Snoopy MIL story: If I were OP my only response to my husband would be "if they didn't do anything wrong, there wouldn't be a problem. I do NOT need to apologize" over and over and over again like a broken record anytime anyone brings it up.
Last story: either it's me going crazy and leaving a mess until i find my passport or it's me calling the police reporting you for stealing it, they making the mess and you getting a ticket (minimum). Also, glad OP saw the red flags and dump him.
Let's hope he does stay away and doesn't start to stalker and try to "persuade" her to come back to him. And I hope OP filed a police report on him so that he knows the consequences of his actions. I also hope OP moved to either a new state or something to get away from him and to make sure she's safe.
Grandpa is a legend 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I'm glad op had someone behind him about being kicked out at 18 like that.
Fourth story: NTA. He didn’t tell OP that he was bringing the step sister, so she didn’t tell him she cancelled the reservation. Play stupid games. Also, tf is with the mom??? Does she have a relationship with the step kids or still has eyes on the dad or something??? Why is she berating OP for cancelling what was supposed to be HER reservation that the dad just used for her step sister after OP put her foot down????
Are you ok
Cause like the talk happened two years ago and he thought that it would be a nice surprise and the mom only said that that wasn’t nice where her berating her come in
Sry never mind I watched the edit
The therapist is totally either sleeping w the husband, or crushing on him, cuz like, why was she defending the husband when she was being told bad things about him (lies or not!) like that's SOOO weird. I hope OP updates and I hope they are okay.
Not necessarily. She could be a friend of the husband or on his payroll. But it's fishy no matter the situation.
"Setting a trap" for nosy MIL - a trap is only effective if someone chooses to step into it: if the MiL hadn't been a snooping bitch, the trap would never have been sprung.
[] "I would have given the passport back"
"If you intended to give it back so that I could use it, you wouldn't have taken it in the first place"
He didn't say WHEN he would give it back. Probably after a travel date.
@@ajanija1590 - There'd be no point in him taking it if he gave it back in time for her to use it on the trip.
Let's not forget that she even asked if he knew where it was and he lied, so his claim is thrown out the window.
Last story: When searching for something important in the apartment where you actually live, it's absolutely normal to go through every nook and cranny until the item is found. Regardless if it's a passport hidden by a bad-news-ex or a charger misplaced by one self.
I feel so bad for the OP losing the relationship with her father and getting replaced by Julia the Stepsister. I'm legit glad that she canceled the hotel on them.
We don't have enough information to judge. It seems like she has a problem with sharing her dad, but she has to accept that he now has two more kids. She is asking for some alone time with her dad, but as an adult I can tell you, that you don't have that much time for all of the kids. She is just childish
@@hasatamashi um no, the father is clearly emotionally neglected his biological daughter in favor of his new daughter. OP wanted more quality time with her father and he didn’t respect her wishes when she wanted it to just be 1-1 for her graduation. It was a selfish move for the father to try and go on the trip without OP, you know the person who paid for it. It has nothing to do with OP being childish, it’s her being hurt and neglected by her father.
@@hasatamashi she graduated and he couldn't spend judging by it a single day away from his new family to spend time with his daughter on her graduation. I think your smoking
In the story where the dad brings the step-sister, I just can’t even imagine doing this to one of my kids, let alone my teen. I would do anything to get time with my teen. So far, this summer, if he wants to spend time with me, I don’t sign up for overtime, don’t make plans in the evening, and I make fun suggestions for new adventures and memories. Maybe step-mom has something to do with convincing the dad to take her daughter too.
The story with the dad and the step sister: The thing that really pisses me off is that when op said she won't go because of the stepsister. The dad just left with the stepsister. Like " Welp guess you are a lost cause. Byeeeeeeee I am not gonna celebrate with you. Instead I will take your stepsister on a vacation you planned and paid for". Seriously....
I believe the parents in the second story should get the full 5/5 instead of 3.5.What they did was truly unforgivable.
Agreed
Seriously, if it wasn't for OP's savings, she'd be homeless. And the fact that they kicked her out THE MINUTE she turned 18 shows that they wouldn't care.
Mom and Dad: **Lies about kicking OP out**
Grandpa: **Verbally destroys them**
Mom and Dad: **Surprised Pikachu Face**
Story 4: OP’s Dad: my daughter is upset at me for inviting my stepdaughter on a trip that she paid for, after she said it’s just for the two of us. Oh well, instead of trying to Comfort her i’m going to go with my stepdaughter instead and just assume she’ll be cool with that.
Me: You are a terrible father.
You're never the a-hole for telling the truth just because it makes someone look bad.
Especially if they're telling lies that makes themselves look better.
Waking you up at midnight and kicking you out in the middle of the night is beyond absurd and cruel.
well there are situation that you should keep your mouth shut rather than saying anything
This isn't one of those situations. They got what they deserved. It's too bad OP didn't tell the rest of the family that they'd been planning to do this for years and even told him that it would happen. He just thought he might have maybe a few weeks or a couple months to get everything settled before they throw him out. And the fact that they woke him up at midnight to throw him out really should have been told as well.
@@Megaman-2407
Better off being quiet =/= being an a-hole
@@SerenaSilverMoon well actually he KNOW that they want to throw them out once they are 18 and if my parent say that i would think they will literally do it the exact minute as they clearly dont want me
@@Megaman-2407 bro they woke him up at 12:00 am on the dot of his birthday to throw him out and then they said "oh no he just went to college" to make themselves look better that was def not a situation where he should've kept him mouth shut
First Story: YES this is illegal, it breaks confidentiality privilege of patient doctor relations. This seriously pisses me off cause I've been on the receiving end. It damaged my relationship with my father who the therapist was talking to. It took years to find out that my dad just was asking if I made my sessions, depression tended to make me not leave my dorm. The therapist took this as an invitation to tell him everything because they new each other as co-workers. My dad and I are close again now, but I have never been able to trust a therapist again. I had trust issues to begin with.
How did your dad react to the therapist revealing all those details? If I just asked if my kid is okay and got lots of details I would tell the therapist to shut up and go file a complaint. And get my kid a new therapist of course. Please tell me you got them fired, they so deserved it
@@limiv5272 He was very upset when we had communicated the issue. The therapist had already been fired for a different or we would have pursued them being removed.
@@LadyEleos So glad to hear that
Where is an 18 y/o supposed to go though? If I have the means, I will pull the same off with my kid. "Get out! There is an apartment across the street your mom and I bought for you, you can wash your own socks now."
Final story: NTA. He’s being manipulative and gaslighting OP. Find another place, maybe stay with some friends. Get all your stuff out of there and dump him immediately.
What is with parents sneaking in the person they know their children said "no" to having around and thinking things will work out? It's like dead air and static went into their ears when the kids were setting boundaries
Obligatory "the-chapters-are-off" post.
*First OP:* I'm gonna say OP is NTA, but she should report her therapist for breaking the Code of Conduct. Also, if OP's husband is really concerned about OP's well-being, he should ask her directly if she's okay. If OP's husband tried to ask and OP didn't want to open up to him, that's a different story. After reading some of the posts, OP should divorce her husband as well.
*Second OP:* LOL, I wish I'd been on that FaceTime call! If I were OP, I'd snitch to Grandpa about how my parents called me an AH just to watch him cuss my parents out again. 😛 But then I'm petty that way. OP is NTA. He just told the truth.
*Third OP:* Why should OP apologize for proving her MIL and SIL snoop through her and her husband's belongings? If anything, OP's husband should apologize to OP for not believing her! OP is NTA. Also, -fu- thank you for putting that visual of the housewife making a sandwich in my head.
*SN:* "Look at my 80085! I'm gonna cheat on my husband!" - rSlash, 2022
*Fourth OP:* OP paid for the reservation, so she has the right to cancel it. I'm sure her dad could book another room for him and his stepdaughter. OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* LOL at OP's ex for getting mad because OP ransacked his apartment after he stole OP's passport. OP is NTA, and I'd have her friends move her stuff out of her ex's apartment as soon as she returns from Mexico. I knew that age gap seemed sus.
They been off for several days now.
"--fu-- thank you for... the image" 😂
I'm not concerned about the age gap. My uncle and his wife were exactly the same ages when they got married, and are now still together and have 3 kids. It's the people, not the ages
@@limiv5272 I too know loving couples with a considerable age gap, but they are (objectively speaking) the exception, not the rule.
There are a whole lot of socio-psychological dynamics for unequal footing at play in the majority of these relationships that we both know are too lengthy to itemize here.
@@maggpiprime954 The unequal footing thing only becomes a problem with certain types of people. Like I said, it's the people, not the ages
10 bucks says the dad wanted to pay for the rooms he could pull the "My room, my rules" card in step relative story
The therapist clearly has no integrity if the husband is somehow getting access to information he shouldn't
It's illegal and a HIPAA violation
He brought step sister on a trip daughter paid for, then went without op with step sister. Like op didn't deserve to go on her own father daughter trip that she paid for. The audacity
Agreed
Dude tried to use the money that his daughter had to take his step daughter out. He got mad at her for not letting him do that
Did he? I thought he texted her an apology when he found out she cancelled the deposit?
@@coreylemon ok? He still tried to use the ops money to take out his new daughter on a trip. He wouldn't have apologized if she didn't cancel 100%
@@Decaying_bacon or maybe he taught it would be a waste?OP could had just said it,it's like she is being very vengeful,which in decent relationships is not neccessary,since in the name of decency,you can talk stuff out,instead of doing pathetic stuff...
@@teslagod7221 she did talk it out with him, she had a whole conversation about her boundaries and he stomped all over them and only apologized after he couldn't get what he wanted. Apparently talking to him did jack sh$t so what good would it do now?
I notice how in the forth story, the dad decided to leave OP behind and go to the hotel she was still paying for. So, he expected OP to pay for a trip between him and his stepdaughter.
1st story: It is illegal, unethical, and a first class ticket to getting your licence revoked, being fired, and OP should definitely be sued.
Story 5: Imagine being so desperate of not letting someone go to another country that you would steal and hide their passport. He's probably got something against Mexicans and wanted to sabotage OP's vacation.
I mean I’m Mexican and I consider Mexico dangerous too. The state my family is from is pretty much run by cartels and I have an uncle that was held for ransom. So I’m not planning on visiting any time soon. That doesn’t mean I agree with hiding someone else’s passport though
Why are you confusing jealousy with racism???
The whole reason was control. Once she moved in she said things changed. He became possessive and what not. This was all about jealousy and probably was worried she was going to cheat on him if she left. If the wedding was in Canada I'm sure he would have acted the same. Just a man child who doesn't want to share his 'toys' with anyone else.
OP even said that she didn't want to move in with him, that he pressured her and that it was against her better judgment. She regretted it immediately and was probably thinking of moving out and he probably thought that as well. Her going to Mexico was (even just for a wedding) to him as if she was taking the 1st steps in leaving him, which she should have way long before this. She's lucky he even let her go to work and leave the house at any time, period. He was an abusive asshole (It wasn't physical yet but it sure as hell was going to get that way real soon if she stayed.) and I'm glad that she dumped him. Good for her.
The first story is a complete violation if HIPAA and also against the therapists code of ethics. OP has the right to sue and also subpoena the notes of your sessions for evidence.
Homeslice it feels illegal because it IS. Her giving the husband that info is a hippa violation
1st story: Time to report that "therapist", if she does it with you, she is definitely doing it to other people.
Also, this is a HUGE red flag for the husband, regardless if he is sleeping with her or no. "I'm mad that you lied to my spy!", bruh
Edit to add 2nd story: NTA. Your parents kicked you out without notice, then lied to your entire family, and now gaslight you to blame it on you. OP, if I were you, I would cut them out of my life, but still stay in contact with the rest of the family.
1st story OP keeps defending her husband, so....
First Story: 100% NTA The therapist needs to be reported. Like, ASAP. How foul to betray a patient's trust like that... just foul. As for the husband, dump his ass before things get worse (and they will). I hope OP and their children get away from that dumpster fire.
2 story: Based off the grandpa reaction, I wouldn't be surprised if he let his kids stayed longer once their 18. Seriously tho, parents who kick their kids out the moment their 18 are scumbags.
Story 1: Massive breach of privacy and massively damaging. A lot of people lose faith in (Good) therapists that actually help, due to stuff like this.
Story 2: 'Surely this lie won't come back to bite me, surely my son who I kicked out at midnight on the dot, will support my lie!'
Story 3: So let me get this right, she was certain they were snooping, he refused to believe her. She put her 'toys' in a reasonable spot to put them and the In-laws got caught out. Hubby needs to understand that his mummy was in the wrong.
Story 4: I know you paid for the hotel for our PERSONAL vacation, but despite breaking your trust again... and people still expect you to pay for their vacation despite you not even going?
Story 5: Yiiiikes.
Nah, first story is a 5/5 for the therapist. The entire foundation of therapy is based on confidentiality. Without the trust that what you say doesn't leave the room, there is no doctor patient relationship and the whole point of therapy is moot. She undermined the entire profession. It's taken decades to legitimise therapy, but just one unethical asshole can ruin all of that work for millions of people. Solid 5/5.
I have nightmares about my son finding my adult toys. He knows I have them, but he doesn't need to see them.
Story 1: I'm pretty sure it is illegal...and the husband might be sleeping with the therapist
First story: 100% can and should get her license revoked for this. I hope op reports her!
It's illegal even in Italy. It's something like professional secret. Where you can't tell anyone the info you've retained from a patient. I've had something similar happen to me where my mom asked my therapist about one thing I didn't tell her. And she responded accordingly in a professional manner saying: "If she's not lying to both of us, the matter is in her hands and if she's responsible enough she's doing all the work we should do."
Fourth story: OP's father made his choice. The step-kids are more important. The relation is officially broken beyond repair for basically throwing away what little trust OP had on him.
Recently, my phone got robbed, and my pc broke. I spent some months without any device, and one of the things i missed more was watching Rslash videos. Now i got a new phone, and i can watch his videos again ❤
I like how rSlash's grandpa voice is the same as his grannie voice. 🙂
In a master’s program for therapists. It’s illegal. It’s a great way to lose you license. And it’s an even better way to violate the whole “do no harm” thing that you agree to when you do get licensed. OP should drop her therapist. The therapist really needs to evaluate her motivations and get further training.
Why do i get the feeling that the ex-boyfriend in the last post would've been "comforting" OP after she missed her flight and everything all "Oh I'm so sorry. I'll help you look for it. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
To your finishing thoughts on the adult toys story, well... the video (hell, the whole channel) is not up anymore, but 2 famous youtubers who normally record gameplay footage actually recorded themselves on that no-longer-existing channel literally making omelettes with such toys. XD
The channel? Well, all I can say... is "Memento Mori".
Memento Mori, friend! (thank you for keeping the memories alive in story and referencing one of my favorite of the videos, lol. good times.)
First story NTB Sue that therapist and report her to her boss
As someone who’s been to therapy since I was a kid THEY CANNOT RELEASE INFO ON THE SESSIONS EVER! It’s a HIPAA violation and they can’t even say a thing to parents either unless you state your going to off yourself. Take her to court sue her, and take her job.
Ya gotta love it when people who mistreat other people, expect their victims to lie for them... Story 2
First Story NTA: OP’s husband shouldn’t know ANYTHING that is said in therapy. I talk to a therapist and everything that is said in a session is strictly between the therpist and the client unless the client gives permission to discuss in the company of someone. The therapist can get sued for this because she is telling someone outside the sessions things about the session without the client’s permission
Second Story, NTA: LMAO OP’s parents have the absolute audacity to get mad at OP when THEY are the ones that kicked him out LITERALLY the second OP turned 18, THEY are the ones who lied to the grandparents, and THEY are the ones who earned that scolding and embarassment. OP’s parents are sorry excuses for parents and any other parents that immediately kick their kid out of the house the moment they turn 18. I hope OP goes no contact with his parents, these people are horrible
Third Story, NTA: OP had to get proof somehow that her MIL is snooping, so she did. Not only is it wrong to snoop around someone’s stuff IN THEIR OWN HOME; its highly an invasion of privacy and illegal
Fourth Story NTA: Why should OP allow them to stay that the hotel she paid for to celebrate OP’s graduation? From what it sounds like OP wanted to celebrate with just her dad and the fact that he brought her step-sister knowing that OP wanted it to be just her and her dad. OP isn’t wrong for not letting them celebrate and continue with the plan without her
Fifth Story NTA: OP should leave this man and don’t look back. Someone trying to be controlling is a major red flag. He pretty much stole OP’s passport and hid it just so OP couldn’t travel to Mexico.
Edit: Oh thank god for that last part. I’m soooo glad OP left that guy because it would’ve gotten way worse
OMG the step sibling bs story, as someone who was raised in a blended family of four kids, two from each respective partner’s/parent’s previous marriages m, I can say at no point in the 36+ years my step father’s been in my life, they started dating when I was just under a year and I’m almost 37, has he EVER put me and my sister ahead of his own kids, and vice versa for my mother in respect to my step-sibs. The four of us have always been on equal footing with OUR parents. What that father is doing, has been doing, will very likely continue sound, despite a conversation with OP highlighting just how shitty his jor just prioritizing but full-on choosing his relationships with his step kids over his with the poster, absolutely NFW. And I actually disagree with Dabney’s rating, I think, especially on account of bringing the step-daughter behind OP’s back and against her wishes the father does deserve the full 5 sphincters, and I think the mother also deserves maybe a half sphincter, as imho, her saying OP owes her father and step-sister an apology for cancelling the reservation is like her saying to OP ‘I don’t condone your father’s action, but….’ it’s like no mom, either you think she or her father is in the wrong, cuz his actions also put her out whatever was the hotel’s deposit rate for the room, or else the entire cost depending on their cancellation policies.
Third story: OP's husband is on denial that his mother and sister are snooping to get dirt on his wife. This is the typical snooping, toxic women who love to find humiliating secrets of the family and literally tell them to every soul on planet earth.
First story: First class HIPAA violation.
It's illegal for the therapist to reveal information like that, Without actual princo probably won't get anything more than a Stern warning from the board
1st Story: What is said between patient/doctor STAYS between them. This one is clearly violating HIPAA as NO ONE ELSE is supposed to know anything unless conditions are met. This is also probably a communication problem, although I'm not too sure about the husband's intent. NTA
4th Story: OP wants to spend time with her dad and no one else. To bring someone else along despite this being discussed prior is a dumb thing to do. Plus, that mom needs lay off. NTA
5th Story: Uh... yea. Clear red flags that you need to stay away from that kind of person. NTA
8:17 made me giggle embarrassingly loud💀
That therapist needs to be reported and sued, and the husband needs to be dumped.
A therapist sharing information is not only illegal, but also completely destroys the whole point of therapy: it was supposed to be a place where people are free to speak their minds and work their issues without fear of criticism or retaliation.
Not only was OP not safe to speak there, she was also gaslighted by both the husband and the therapist. That's disgusting.
Second story is a true "I can't believe the leopard eating face ate my face" moment
First story: My parents weren't even allowed to say if someone was their patient because of the stigma attached. What the therapist did was VERY, VERY, VERY illegal. My own mother wasn't even allowed to know what I talked about to my therapists.
Isn't the rule like "hey unless patient X gives explicit permission to tell person Y, the only way a therapist can say anything is if they are a risk to themselves or others"?
@@DeathProductions200 basically
First story: I went into therapy for years and 1 of the very first things they say is that everything is confidential unless you threaten to hurt yourself or somebody else. So yes this is completely illegal and she should get her license revoked
That last story. THANK GOD SHE GOT OUT!!! That's a red flag immediately if you move in with someone and they start trying to control your life in little ways, run. Just run. The fact that she gave him many chances and he screwed up every time, I'm so glad she left.
I had an ex who used to ask me "Who are you texting?" "Is it a guy?!" "What does he look like? Who is he?" and he would go crazy. He told me he didn't want me messaging other guys cause I might cheat on him. I left. He also had to know where I was going, who I was going with, how long I would be gone. You wanna know the kicker? We didn't even live together. Red flags were flying everywhere and I didn't realize it until my sister snapped me out of it.
Last story: Bro he saying you ransacked his place? You live in the same place the way he frames it is soooo manipulative. OP was literally looking for something he took. Him saying he was gonna give it back is textbook manipulation tactics.
Hello Rslash! Thank you for the amazing and entertaining content! I’ve been watching for about 2 1/2 years. Keep up the great work!
In regards to the leeway on being kicked out of the house after 18, I was kicked out at 20 only to move back in roughly 10 months later. I'm now 26, and still live with my mum, and honestly, I would go insane if I was living by myself, especially if I didn't have kids. It is WAY to quiet in the house when my mums working and my kids are at school or on holidays with their great grandmother.
For that last story, of course he was going to give it back... after she missed her trip.
The stories in that sub are getting more and more ludicrous, even for outrage karma farming. Just waiting for "My boyfriend was violently beating on me and accidentally hit the wall, AITA for ducking in fear and making him hurt himself?"
Sadly, that’s a realistic story. Abusers will often gaslight that you’re making them hurt you and that the cost associated with it being your fault. Great, you just cost us more money we don’t have. When you’re deep enough in it can be hard to hold on to normal. Just getting validation that you’re not crazy can a long ways when you’re in an abusive relationship and can’t to people around you about it.
Grandpa should kick the parents out of the will.
Story 1: That's a HIPPA violation, plain and simple. Those carry a massive penalty of $10,000, up to 15 years in prison, and a ban from practicing medicine. What that "therapist" did is a literal felony.
The story about the step sister makes me extra mad because this is a huge accomplishment for OP. Not everyone can go to the college of their choice and they have a right to celebrate. Only for daddy dearest to turn around and also invite his step daughter because she graduated! It kinda feels like he is stomping on OP's accomplishment by bringing her along. It was not a "Congrats Grad" vacation, it was a "I just achieved my dream college vacation".
Hi Rslash!!!! Thank you for all the entertainment. I listen every day
People need to quit telling lies that rely on others upholding them and then getting mad when the secondary party tells what they know is the truth.
Exactly. I am not going to put a black mark on my soul because someone else doesn't want to be honest.
Plus a famous quote by Benjamin Franklin was "the only way for 3 people to keep a secret is if 2 of them are dead"
Naw, rSlash, it IS illegal. You need permission from the patient to share their information with anyone unless they are about to commit a crime like murder. That therapist violated HIPPA and should get their license to practice removed. Though I don't think they're a real therapist tbh.
Story 2, the fact that they got pissed at op for grandpa holding them accountable is a major red flag for narcissism. Op, keep holding them accountable to grandpa and tell him how they yelled at you for it.
Good morning everyone!
Afternoon for me but good morning
morning
Good morning!
Good morning from Michigan
Bom dia!
The chapters are all mixed up xD
It's magical when grandpa goes Ultra Instinct on your behalf. Especially when it's against abusers.
First story: yes, it 100% illegal.
And op should divorce
i dont think its cool to show someone something they dont want to see
edit: nevermind
Oh I'm early for this one! Love your videos; thank you for putting in the time and effort to all of your channels! Hope you have a great day 😊
I remember seeing that first story the same day it was published. Sad to see that OP never followed up. :( Considering her replies, I think she is (or, _hopefully,_ *was*) so deep in denial, she can't see how bad this situation really is.
The first one is 100% illegal. I've been through therapy myself, and every single time they started the session with the confidentiality they had to uphold.
Hey rlash, the time stamps are wrong the stories don't match up
Hey rslash! I hope you and your family are having a great weekend so far!!!
Patient confidentially is ALWAYS promised unless you are- a danger to yourself, and a danger to others. She will lose her license if there is proof she was telling your husband anything
Therapist victim: Divorce husband - what he is doing is abuse. Report the therapist.
18 yo victim: go no contact.