r/AmITheA**hole for Firing a Karen?
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:05 My sister dropped her kids with me so I took them to daycare on her dime
2:40 Rental car and annoying passenger
6:47 Don't just be nice apparently
10:02 You are not the butthole
10:18 The boyfriend gets what's coming
14:32 Fired and try to rehire
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
"Skip exam, retake it later..." Looks like someone never went to college, cause that don't fly.
She is 25 and already has a 6 and 4 year old. Of course she didn't go to college
Nothing against not going to college tons and tons of people have great lives without going. It's just simply logically unlikely she did given having two kids that old bf that age.
Only way this flies is if there's an emergency like a death in the family or if you've been in a terrible accident. And even then it's not guaranteed that you can take it at a later date
This is the second comment I see about not being able to retake exams. Is that an American thing? Because I could retake any exam I wanted in college
My brother is in the army, and he hast to go for a weeklong drill every other six months and he is in college! He basically has to write a begging letter in blood for his professors to get them to consider rescheduling an exam if he misses it!
@@limiv5272 A lot of countries do this, surprisingly, but I think it depends on the University you are attending and how lenient the professors are. Curriculum can be very strict. I attended Uni in Japan and they most definitely would not let you miss and retake an exam unless you had a valid excuse like a family death or if you were very ill with a signed doctor's note.
Mother of a veterinarian here. That dog absolutely needed to be brushed. Leaving the loose hair causes a lack of oxygen to the skin, setting it up for issues and also causes mats. Humans have bred dogs to the point that you can’t compare them to wolves. The mother is an idiot. Don’t fly off the handle unless you know what you’re talking about. She said things that would make me uncomfortable returning. OP should stand his ground.
Former groomer here, that mom's a moron. Based on the amount of hair the op described I'm guessing it's a long-haired dog. Having that much impacted hair is TERRIBLE for the dog. That story makes me sick. It's neglect, plain and simple.
As an owner of several Pomeranians, I couldn't possibly agree more with you.
Don't brush them for a WEEK and see what happens. Made the mistake once, a decade ago, with my first Pom.
I feel sorry for the person's dog.
don't even wolves like rub their fur in sand and stuff to get loose hair and parasites out?
Yep, I'll third this. My last dog was half spaniel. When you adopt a long haired dog, you do so with the understanding that it's going to be a bit more work than a short haired dog. Long coats require more manitenance. Too many people adopt animals, put them in their house, and then mostly ignore them, aside from dumping food in a bowl once or twice a day. If you're going to get a pet, make sure it's not an impulse decision and then do some research on the type of animal.
Yup dog groomer here, came to the comments to say the same thing! The mum is an idiot!!
Do your damn research on the breed you're wanting before buying!
I've had people full on argue with me that you're not supposed to brush a COCKAPOO!!!
In story 2, Rslash says “what did you expect when inviting a whiny teenager” only… OP didn’t invite her. OP didn’t invite Dave either, they invited themselves into OP’s vacation with her sons
It's her car and her trip. She could have said "No, I'm spending time with my kids".
That said, OP is not the ahole for trying to include them. The boyfriend is the ahole for not shutting down his rude, whiny, entitled daughter
She agreed to it. She said yes.
True but she agreed to let them go after Dave askef
@@soccersinger101thats not an invite, that's just not saying no
@@dimsufferer9951 then she should have just said no. Otherwise you are okay with it and it was still a you decision.
She didn’t invite them….he invited them himself . When that happens it’s hard to say no specially when they make it hard for you
Yeah, imo it would seem assholish if the op said yes to the husband and no to the daughter causing a further rift. So if we want to give op an asshole score it would be like .1 for just leaving them there basically stranded, however it's almost completely the bf and the daughters fault.
This ACTUALLY reminds me of that "Mickey Mouse Works" cartoon, where Daisy invited herself to Mickey and Minnie's outing date, from going where SHE wants to go, to visiting the shops that SHE wanted to visit.
And at the end of the cartoon, when she got told off by Mickey, Daisy just flipped out and DROVE off in a huff in Mickey's own car!
We should be thankful that the guy didn't steal the car and drove off, he'd be slapped with a lawsuit and police charges for grand theft auto and abandonment!
@@CooperGal24 Yikes. Well, I do like it when media goes into real life issues like this, even if it can be dark, because it communicates and connects with the people who have been in situations like this, and it is pretty common in these Reddit stories where the selfish people wants to join the vacation of their friend, family member or lover and turn it into their own free vacation and not the vacation of the person who organised it and spend their money on it.
@@CooperGal24 o
I caught that too lol
"Just skip your exam."
Almost no major allows for makeup exams. No escape room is worth 0%
If I remember correctly, there usually is some allowance for emergency situations, like if OP ended up in the hospital or her sister ended up in the hospital and mom couldn't watch the kids, but no college professor is gonna accept "Oh, I need to reschedule because my sister dumped her kids on me to go to an escape room"
Story 2: Imagine trying to hijack someone else's vacation. I bet Ann is SUPER spoiled
You don't need to bet she IS spoiled.. 1500 IN FOUR DAYS!?! I'd be shocked if she wasn't. Glad op dumped this dude he seems like such a doormat.
Now I'm kinda expecting Ann and Dave to appear in entitledparents
i wouldve tried to hatch a plan with my sibling and mom to get back at them lol
@@bryn1063 bet, she is
I think there's something more darker going on there
"I brushed a whole new dog out of your dog." I know SO many people that would be absolutely delighted that OP took the time and effort to brush their dogs' coat. That's just a wonderful and caring thing to do. Couple that with being knowledgable and compassionate in caring for your job the way to do and that makes you just an amazing person! I mean, I'm limited on my reach but I brush my neighbors' horses, dogs, cats, as well as my own and my neighbors do the same. It's called caring and that woman needs to try and understand the concept.
I agree! I was so confused when she blew up. It's not like it's a snake and pulling the shed off means you can hurt it.. And no extra charge too? This lady missed out big time!
If one does not brush out the dead hair it mats up and causes a bad reaction on the skin. Not brushing is causing the harm. Poor dog! 😡
@@karinwolf3645 I have heard that it’s doubly so for dogs with “double coats” like huskies. And OP mentioned that the dog was a “double coat” breed, which meant that they did the mother a HUGE favour.
@@karinwolf3645 That's what I thought! Like, I was literally looking at the screen, saying aloud, "Uh, no. That's not a thing," with the line about "it actually harms the dog."
I know it's not smart to shave dogs with thicker coats, because it's a natural ventilation system for them, and getting rid of that exposes them to sunburn and a whole host of other stuff, but I've never heard anything about brushing them being bad.
Right? I honestly don’t want to brush my own dog sometimes but I can’t just ignore her. I would be extremely thankful for someone doing that type of favor. The lady in this story sounds like she has some issues.
As a mom, I’m upgrading the first Karen up to a 5 for child negligence here. How are you gonna potentially leave your children outside with no care?!?! Makes me so mad.
@JayLeeBeanz Yeah, and what if a trafficker or predator drove by. Those kids would be long gone. If there was a Razzie equivalent of a mother of the year award, she'd earn it.
I've actually slept at a friends house to avoid being forced into doing something on a day I was busy. Imagine if op had done the same? Lol
it is actually easy to understand,there are people in this world that exist like they are gods and the other people are nothing more than their slaves...
A woman who left her kids with a person who told her "No. I can't watch them that day." to party for the whole said day is calling that person's decision of putting these kids into a daycare irresponsible.
How absolutely adorable.
not to mention the daycare the unavailable person sent the kids to was run by a friend of hers, so she knew that it'd be a safe place
Honestly, OP was way more patient than I would be. If someone tried to pull that stunt on me, I'm getting the cops involved immediately.
@@irishuisman1450 i also love how she saying GASP YOU LEFT THEM AT DAYCARE HOW DARE YOU ThAtS dAnGoUrSe. While she dropped them off in the morning possible without seeing if op opened the door. Imagen if op went to school earlier or wasn't home. not to mention that OP is already babysitting once a week. not to mention she wants Op to put aside a test that helps determine her future to do an escape room.i am also guessing she was spoiled and/or was the golden child since their parents or supporting this BS.
anyone who drop's their kids off and just drives away, has no room calling ANYONE "irresponsible"
@@ret3556 Let's be real here. You and I both know that *if* something happened to those kids (like, God forbid, they had been kidnapped), and even if OP had already left her home by that point, OP would still be blamed for it. The Sister would turn around and say "But I left them with you! I told you I needed you to watch them that day! Why did you leave the house?!"
People like this just don't think rationally. They're entirely wrapped up in their own little worlds, and think everyone needs to drop everything to cater to them.
Third story: OP's ex kinda got what he wanted. Their relationship is now as open as he wanted, because she dumped his stupid ass. Thankfully she and her ex-in laws are still in touch and they're fine, because unlike her stupid ex, his parents look like nice people.
I read this story on reddit and my comment then and now are the same, I can se the next GF's to post on reddit complaining that "her BF parents are always comparing her to their son's ex who they still talk to and adore, what can she do to get them to stop?"
@@nonyabiz2013 🤣
If I were those parents I would be shunning the hell out of that son if not outright disowning him. He's not in the wrong for wanting to not be married and be in a more open relationship, but you don't do that to a girl you've been dating for 4 years and you sure as hell don't try to force it on her.
@@zacharyjackson1829 and sabbotarging both his own and their relationship with her, like wow man what a knob
@@zacharyjackson1829 I honestly feel bad for my ex’s parents he is gross like his room always has gross old food everywhere and he is abusive he cheated on me like 500 times and then manipulated me into staying every time. It sucked so bad. But his mom is super nice and so was his sister. Idk how he turned out so bad
>"It's so hard to find childcare for special needs children."
Sounds like an important point of consideration to take in BEFORE firing your baby/dogsitters. But now, it's just a whole heep of "Not OP's problem"
Anybody else not surprised that that last Karen is single?
Just sayin'...
OP found a new employer before the one that fired her came crawling back. She can tell her dad and former employer "I have another commitment now and CANNOT help you."
NTA. And good riddance.
@@sherylcascadden4988 right? OP sounds like a great sitter; I don't think he was wrong on any counts. Shame on his dad and his former employer both though.
@@XtremelyRandomNinja who in their right mind thinks it is harmful to groom a dog?? I have NEVER heard such a crazy thing.
@@rachel-in-the-208 ikr I was baffled when she said that shit and couldn’t believe THAT was something she fired OP over.
It’s actually the other way around. Brushing a dog isn’t harmful; it’s necessary! It can actually harm the dog if you DON’T brush it! Not brushing out the excess fur of a dog with a double coat leads to matted fur which is pretty bad. Karen’s an idiot.
Thats not a cultural thing, thats good manners
My cousin does this all the time when she's visiting us. My immediate family only on occasions that we feel warrant it. I think both approaches are completely fine. In any case, it was made up shit by an idiot anyway.
I’m from the south. If someone invites me for dinner at their place I’ll always bring dessert or drinks. It’s just good manners.
Also, why didn't he just think to ASK her if she would be open to more 'interesting' ideas, like a 3-some, open relationship, kink, something to experiment. What was the need for the crappy elaborate plan
I can see being annoyed if you're buying gifts, and they start running out of space. Or maybe food that only you enjoy. But those are such niche circumstances that I wouldn't even think of that.
@@GSSAGE7 it seems like it's always something small and easily gotten rid of. Wine. Dessert, flowers etc. Not something you'd keep around forever
The boyfriend gets what's coming story reminded me of an ex who, it turned out, was intensely jealous of how much his parents liked compared to him! he made all sorts of stories about how I was annoying his parents, I intimidated his mother blah blah blah. He never expected me to actually go and see them only to find out he'd made everything up!
wow pos
Plz tell me that right after that he became an ex xD
Wow. What a child. 😂
Reminds me of how one of my younger sister's friends started crying and accused me of trying to "steal her parents" because I was having a conversation with them and they seemed impressed by how mature and smart kid me was. I was super confused and never talked to that girl again because I didn't want to deal with her drama lmao
My ex didn't want me to "be friends with his friends" because I "didn't need to be a part of every aspect of his life." We broke up after 3 years. 4 years later, his friends still talk to me while they slowly removed him out of the group.
"Don't just be nice apparently"
There's NO WAY his dad texted that over flowers and wine and whatnot. You have no idea what he said to them when he went there alone. There's absolutely no way an older couple is unappreciative of the kindness their son's girlfriend is showing them. Even in America, it's considered polite and not charity. And the boyfriend showed his true colors with the "you're white" comment.
Get out.
Edit: AHA! That guy is a TERRIBLE liar. And how can he be upset? He got exactly what he wanted: freedom from a commitment.
He wanted half and half. You know, a kind girl to go hone to and be loyal and kind when he went out and fucked everything that moved. And I'm sure if OP would have accepted it, he would have been upset at her being with other guys (or girls, I suppose, we do not know her orientation lol)
My mom, sister and I hosted an exchange student from France before. She brought gifts from France to give to us. It's apparently a rule to bring something from your home country to your hosts.
Same in Canada. It's always considered polite to bring a bottle of wine or flowers or similar small gift when invited out. I guess if you are visiting your in-laws pretty regularly you might not bring something *every* time, and you could also bring an appetizer or something you made. The update to the story made a lot more sense.
@@Yumi_Jay
I'm Scottish. Spent some time in the US as an adult, now I'm back home. I grew up here.
Across Europe, in exchanges with school & Guides (/Scouts) when I was growing up, it was 100% considered polite & just the norm to take something, usually something from your home country, to your hosts as a thank you gift & also a sort of sharing of cultures... or just something that held significance wrt the programme you were participating in.
Aside from the international stuff, when I was primary school age, I was always taught it was good manners to take a gift for, e.g. a friend's mum, if we were having a sleepover. Usually just a small box of chocolates, then maybe wine as I got older(can legally drink wine & beer from 16 here, technically age 5 in your own home "for a taste" - not a regular occurrence, just that it's not a weird gift for a kid to take in the same way it would be in the US); or flowers etc.
Everyone did it.
At parties, you bring your own alcohol (slang: your "carry oot" (out)). After out school leavers' ball (like prom), I had permission to have the an after-party. ALL DAY, friends turned up at my house with cases of beer & popular 'alchopops' of the time.
The only day in my life that my dad spent working in the front garden 🤣🙈!!
Good party!
At the millennium, I was 18. My parents [*my mum] decided to invite all the neighbours to join us, & bring their friends/ family/ whomever was with them so we could have an extra special celebration all together (I grew up on a smallish street where everyone knew each other). I think we ended up with more alcohol than we started with - & lots of boxes of chocolates & shortbread (first foot tradition) - my friends & younger sister's friends had brought to my parents.
The rule in Scotland for Hogmanay (Dec 31) is you have to spend "the bells" - midnight - with your family, THEN the parties start & you can go out with friends. Both Jan 1 & 2 are public holidays!
Even at university, as skint students, we'd still always take (cheap) wine, or chocolates - or I liked to bake, people like to eat it! - to friends' flats.
Scottish, white, & almost a requirement!
As for meeting parents, in any scenario, flowers, chocolates, wine, etc. were absolutely The. Thing. To. Do.
Then, in the US... it's even got a name: 'hostess gift' - & it's the same thing, even a bit more thoughtful - a candle, or little house gift to a hostess.
I especially loved stuff that mixed cultures: one year,(then more!) we hosted a Scottish traditional Burns' Night, for new friends& neighbors. My mum made the traditional food, we taught friends ceilidh dancing & a couple of songs & followed the traditional way it's done here. Most people brought really nice bottles of whisky, going with the Scottish theme (although they were told just to bring themselves - the food wasn't easy to have others bring a dish.
Except we had one amazing neighbour who just decided to Google it all. But ingredients, & make a dessert called Cranachan. And it was perfect! Although she brought it in & said she had no idea...
Another time, we were invited to another neigqhbour's Rosh Hashanah party, & we took home baked rugelach & people actually knew what they were!
On UK Mother's Day(in March), I left a small arrangement of flowers from my garden on both next door neighbours' doorsteps, with a note explaining a tradition from when I was a kid. They both loved it & said really kind things.
(I've literally just moved home, & not really settled into any kind of new normal' yet - unless getting sick with new Covjd is the new normal 😖 - & our stuff *just* arrived... sorry for such a long comment, I was just enjoying reminiscing.)
I guess my point is the same as pretty much everyone else's: kindness is kindness. It shouldn't matter where it comes from- & most people do appreciate that.
That OP qwas totally gaslighting as well as being crazy.
He'll realise what he let slip through his fingers when it's already too late and all he can get is some tinderina who spends her days on r/FDS. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No one can do to you what you do to yourself
Don’t let the one person who is determined to have a bad time, ruin everyone else’s good time.
When Ann looks at her father, all she sees is a combination ATM/ doormat.
I remember I was about 12, the first and last time I baby sat for my sister. She was meant to just be going out for tea and back by 10 at the latest, the kids were already in bed and I was basically just meant to be there to make sure the house didn't burn down or get a drink or something if one of the girls woke up. midnight rolled around and I could not get hold of her, She did not get back until about 9am. Have never baby sat for her again over the last 20 years and 5 kids.
You're right. But it's her father's fault that Ann sees that in him, since aparrently he tried to ease her up everytime with money.
1500$ are two months of income for me, where I live. and she spent it in 4 days, LOL
@@M0nTyKe ikr 1500 for me is 3 weeks of income and she spent it in fucking 4 days! I make sure to make that money stretch out over bills
@@rontheauraknight9606 Btw, 1500k would be 1500000, you mean 1.5k
@@myopinion69420 Isn’t that basically child abandonment?
Story 1 Karen: "You should have just skipped the exam and retake it later."
Me, a college student: "You can't just retake any fucking exam at college. Some courses don't let you retake ANY exams unless you have a special exemption."
OP gets 0/5 buttholes
Karen gets 10/5 buttholes.
EXACTLY!!!
When I was at college I could retake any exam if I didn't show up for the first exam. I kinda assumed it was the same everywhere. Anyway, the exam is completely irrelevant, even if OP had literally nothing better to do forcing the kids on her was wrong and irresponsible. Not surprised the sister acts like that considering the parents are enabling and encouraging the behavior.
like im in highschool and even i know thats not how that works like cmon
idk in my uni we do get one retake without any need to give a reason as to why we skipped the first exam
I had a teacher that once didn't accept any ABSENCES unless you were dying or had a religious observance to attend. Let alone a makeup test
I call cops and CPS on the sister, she has no sense of responsibility. Leaving kids on the door steps like that 1 woman on that ring doorbell at the wrong house.
fr tho like if u have alot on ur plate then take the kids to a daycare or hire someone idk the full situation but like cmon, and like u said if shes in a hurry what if she accidentally got the house wrong better hope that that person is good and call cps or the cops, and then having your sibling do 12 hours of free babysiting?! tf like ok if they want to help the sis out then ok but if its 12 HOURS then you should pay them something heck if its 5 hours just be nice. lol sry im rambling
What if OP wasn’t even at home? There’s that possibly too.
@@TheHitsubasa yea and since she didnt even check anything she couldve just left 2 children- scratch that she wouldve abandoned her kids where no adults that know them would be
@@narwhallbean That’s what I was thinking! What if OP had left for school early that day? How many hours would the kids be there for? What are the chances they’d still be there when the mom got back?
OP did her sister a favor by dropping them off at a childcare that she knows instead of calling 911/CPS.
I'm almost willing to bet money that the guy wanting an open relationship had a side piece lined up,
but didn't want to be seen as a cheater or leave op.
People that give ultimatums about forcing an open relationship is always a HUGE RED FLAG.
Yeah those run on communication and consent, you can't just force someone to be open.
@@Ophelia381 definitely. I know it can work for some people but it still takes both sides to consent. Coercing consent in any context is never good.
Most of those stories end up funny though.
Usually the one who demand open relationship end up want to close it because they were "losing." How ironic.
@@ReigoVassal Yeah that often happens when the person asking for an open relationship only thinks of it in terms of what they have to gain from it and never consider that their partner might go for it too. I'm in a poly relationship of two years now and I love it when my partners dish about their crush, but we only got there through being 100% with all the people involved and doing regular check on where we all are emotionally. Some people think it's just easy fun times but like any relationship, you have to put in some work to maintain it.
People who want "open" relationships just want to cheat. It happened to me.
Story 4: no mistake was made, OP literally groomed the dog. That needed to be done.
Yeah... SHAVING a double coated dog is a mistake, but not brushing them!
Oof. Long haired dogs will get matted if they don't get brushed regularly. And that is very painful for the dog. That Karen has no idea what the hell she is talking about. Brushing your pets is normal and needed in a lot of cases.
@@kalimaxine Void, even short-haired dogs like/need brushing! Hair/fur needs brushing! It's just a fact of life.
@@erinfinn2273 Yeah, that's why I said in a lot of cases. Like, a hairless dog obviously doesn't need brushing.
OMG! Stupid, stupid lady. My dog is half Great Pyrenees and if I don’t brush him daily during spring, he starts dropping clumps of fur and looks like a molting bison. Not to mention the drifts of fur in the kitchen and on the coffee table. My car seat has white fur all over it just from living with him - he doesn’t go in the car. There’s fur everywhere and I do brush him. I shudder to think how it’d be without brushing.
Story 3: I initially thought he was being jealous of OP's kindness, but it really looks like he's just mad that OP is being flawless (which is probably just still jealousy) and wants to exploit a flaw that never existed for some reason.
That moron's plan was hilarious. His brain is so smooth you could skate on it.
@@thunderflare59 nice one mind if i use that in the future lol
@@narwhallbean Feel free
I call BS, even a narc would be better
Story 1: "You're absolutely right, next time instead of damage control to accomodate you I'll do the responsible thing and call CPS for abandonment". There we go problem solved. I'll babysit my niece with no notice during an emergency...having fun is not an emergency.
Story 2: Okay, yeah it's important to bond with your boyfriends kid, but it did NOT have to be during a trip that OP can't just do whenever she wants, and was a surprise for her two boys. Dave gets a negative score from me, he let Ann ruin the trip. It might've been a bit much leaving them, only because they shouldn't have come at all. Good on OP for getting rid of that guy
Story 3: Oh yes, how DARE OP be polite and nice. Like....I've never met anyone who got offended at getting a gift, all 'oh she thinks we can't take care of ourselves'. While normally I'd not tell someone to break up over a tiny argument....I think OP should dump someone like this. He's throwing a tantrum over a girl being polite, and his parents have decided they hate her....for giving flowers. OP doesn't need that negative energy in her life
Edit: Ah there it is, boyfriend's just a manipulative fratboy wannabe who thinks he's gods gift to women, so OP would let him cheat on her, as long as she'd be allowed to remain in his glorious presence(yes it's cheating, I know poly people, they don't pull this 'Oh NOW I want an open relationship' thing. It's some jerk who googled it and thought 'yeah she'll buy this'). I do love when these 'open relationship' stories ends up backfiring when the cheater learns the hard way he's not as much of a catch as he thought
Story 4: I get daddy dearest has a job and doesn't have the time to deal with conflict....but no, he lost me at 'keep the peace', NEVER ever placate someone terminally in the wrong just so others won't have to deal with a tantrum. She yelled at OP, fired her and then realized 'uh oh childcare is not easy to find'. Tough luck....Even if OP did mess up, brushing the dog ONCE won't have long term damage, she'll have to do it more. Ask any dog groomer
Story 4 I absolutely agree with that about the dog, the EM should have been brushing out the loose dog hair on her own time to make sure it never got to that stage where OP could brush out enough dog hair to cover another dog, and that's just the animal welfare side of it, and that's without getting into OP's dad's or the EM's inconveniences of looking after "special needs" kids or "keeping the peace".
“Letting the hair fall out naturally” sounds like a great way to give your dog heatstroke and matted fur
Sister: **Drops kids with OP**
OP: **Calls CPS on her**
Sister: *"You weren't supposed to do that."*
Last lady is ridiculous, I have a husky mix who sheds heavily twice a year. Even dogs with short coats can benefit from a good weekly brushing let alone a long haired dog that's shedding. Letting dead hair fall out on its own does nothing but leave hair all over the place. Any groomer would have brushed the dog.
i'm so confused by the last karen's logic, too. i was waiting to hear that the dog had some sort of skin condition op unintentionally aggravated by brushing so much -- in which case he STILL wouldn't be the asshole because karen apparently didn't say anything -- but no. if someone told me they spent an hour brushing my cat and got all this dead hair off, i'd be over the moon! what a weird lady.
And I think Karen's logic of "well, let it just shed by itself" is what would harm the dog, not OP grooming it. Because if the dog had enough shedded fur stuck on it for, in OP's words, "make a new dog out of it", Karen's logic was dumb.
How does she not realise that animals rub themselves up against thing when they shed? OP was just helping out
@@hamishstewart5324 exactly. My dog loves to go out and roll in the grass to try to get the hair off when he is shedding. Lol my car will roll on the sidewalk.
@@amberlindsey7112 that typo is amazing
@@kyrathorsinclaire bahahahahahahahahaha I always try to proofread because my phone hates me but that one slipped on by and now needs to stay hahaha
First story: As a daycare provider, NOT the butthole and I definitely would have charged that mom PREMIUM rates for what she did to her sister and I would NEVER watch her kids for her. Only for the sister if she is making the mom pay! 😅🤣 Honestly, I might make a deal with my friend that anytime her sister drops off the kids for her to watch, she should magically have other plans and bring them to me just so that I can charge the kids' mother with premium rates. Play entitled games, pay entitled rates! 🤣🤭🤗
Last story: Man this is my episode! OP, don't work for parents like that! They are super toxic and very likely to sue you with very little cause!
As a former babysitter during my college years, rescheduling an exam is not an option.
Also, escape rooms don't last 12 hours. They usually run 1 or 2, so you *know* she had access to her phone most of the day.
@@DarcOne13 she really is lucky OP was even home to begin with. imagine those kids sitting outside for hours, best case scenario would have been the neighbors notice and call the cops but if the worst were to happen....
If the dog is constantly scratching it's trying to lose the excess fur - effectively trying to brush itself... OP in the last story did the Karen a massive favor as by leaving it to shed on its own she could have caused her dog to have severe matting in its coat for which the only solution is a full shave... she's not fit to own a dog if she doesn't even learn the basics of properly caring for it... as for kids, well...
“Letting the fur fall out naturally” sounds like a great way to give your dog heatstroke. She had no clue what she was talking about
Story 1: Holy shit... what if OP had spent the night at a friend's to study and hadn't even been home when her sister ABANDONED her kids at her doorstep? But OP is somehow the irresponsible one for leaving them with "a stranger?" No way. NTA.
"I brushed a whole new dog out of (dog's name) coat", dang that much be one fluffy dog xD.
Story 3: OP dodged a bullet here. Not only was the boyfriend racist, but he definitely would have cheated down the road.
He wasn’t racist. That was a fabrication to hide the cowards real desire to bang other women. He wanted to be a “cake eater”. That is to have the stable girlfriend on the bench, and screw freaky girls for fun. He’s going to learn that it sucks out there for 90% of men dating. From her description he’s definitely not in the 10% that most women want. Oh well, we all have to learn some things the hard way.
Story 1: your mom said you could watch her kids if you’re not doing anything, but you were going something.
Story 2: no teenager should ever talk that way to an adult, especially when that adults paying for their vacation.
Story 3: your ex boyfriend is an idiot, he tried to play the stupid game to emotionally manipulate you, at the very least he should’ve just been blunt with you about having an open relationship.
Story 4: if that’s the mom’s reaction to something so small, then what will her reaction be to something big.
Story 6: That mom hasn't used a single brain cell in her life
I work as a dog groomer and we get a lot of dogs who's fur is so stiff it's like a rock because of undercoat that never came out and just started to build up, leading to sad and uncomfortable doggies with dry skin or even hot spots (bald spots) due to a lack of ventilation. Labs, the most commonly owned dog breed in America, are the ones that usually have so much undercoat built up that I can't get my fingers nor tools through it, only our high velocity blowers are able to unleash that fur-nato. Brush your dogs! It's good for them! Just try not to press excessively hard and you'll be golden
That was my first reaction to hearing this, like what is this insane woman talking about that it does HARM to a dog to brush it? I've never heard of such nonsense in my life. I have a cat who has health issues and he overgrooms as a result and gets my other cats to groom him, I have to brush him constantly with a mat rake because his fur is damp so often he gets hard mats very easily and those do harm, they absolutely make him uncomfortable.
With the bringing of gifts, I was taught the same thing. Even to this day if my own parents come near my home my dad would stop by with a bunch of flowers. If I was asleep he would leave them arranged on my front table. He moved away and I miss him doing that so much.
This was what I was taught by parents and grandparents. My wife’s Asian side does it as well.
"Irresponsible and something could've happened" that's rich coming from a mom who left their kid so that she could go party lol
Story 3.OP didn't dodge a bullet, she dodged a grenade of astronomical proportions 🙆🏾♀️🙆🏾♀️
Last Story: I bet the mother did not find another babysitter with such short notice and was desperated. That's why the called to "apologize"
Desperated
I like how the parents say the sister has soo much on her plate already, yet she can go to parties.
I don't understand the logic in the last story. A lot of dogs NEED to be regularly groomed to avoid their fur getting matted and then irritating the skin and causing a bunch of health problems. OP didn't shave the damn dog, he made both the karen's and dog's lives easier by brushing all that ALREADY SHEDDING fur out. My cat sheds year-round like crazy and I would be on my knees begging to have someone like OP help me get all the cat fur out of my furniture, clothes and cat's pelt.
OP was too nice dropping the kids at a day-care. I would've called police and CPS for child abandonment.
What the…?
The mom wasn’t kidding when she said she overreacted to the dog hair joke! I make that joke all the time whenever I brush my grandmother’s dog!
NTA, and don’t let her think she can use employment as a bargaining chip
Honestly for the third story, if the parents were uncomfortable with that, why should’ve just told OP that they were uncomfortable.
Edit: damn OP’s boyfriend is an idiot. He really doesn’t deserve OP.
I would like to know what his parents said to him when they found out.
@@condorboss3339 I’m sure they chewed him the hell out, since OP apparently is still invited to dinner with them :)
That whole story was a roller coaster from start to finish.
@@condorboss3339 i honestly hope they disowned him
Second story: 17 years old is well past the acceptable whiny stage for teenagers. OP was well within her bounds to expect her to suck it up and have fun on the trip. The only thing OP is at fault for is tolerating that shit for several days.
It sounds like she is spoiled and is used to having things her way.
That fifth story is literally the definition of: You're crying about a pretend problem you made up in your head. But that level of manipulation shows me one thing in particular: If this guy was that willing to go to such extremes to give himself a doorway in and out of a relationship, it's proof that he's willing to do it again. And by the very nature of his actions, he displays something... Abhorrent, and despicable. An "open" relationship is the direct and total antithesis of what love is meant to be, and that he had the gall to manipulate OP in such a way to force her to accept this... Lights a madness in me only this subject can do.
My assessment: I would extend your score (on the BF), RSlash, to 4.25 AH Points. As I said earlier, this guy, as you pointed out, is having to find something to brew a flaw out of, and use that to weave a web of manipulation. He needs serious help. My second supporting point is, as I said earlier: If this guy is willing to show such a level of inconsideration (I dare not say heartlessness (yet)) as to do this to OP, they cannot be trusted not to do it to someone else. This guy will never be happy while he sees a partner as a tool, instead of a friend. Like love is meant to be.
Edit: Context updating, so my wall of text makes more sense.
I will say that some people genuinely prefer an open relationship, like those who are poly. The key though is that it is mutual, with open communication, and consent from everyone involved.
The ex definitely didn't care about any of it.
@@Ikajo This. I'm poly and my partner isn't 100 percent sure they want to be. But there is a lot of communication happening between us about this, and has been since before our relationship started.
Yeah, he just wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I bet what he REALLY wanted was to screw other people while OP sat around waiting on him. LOL
And I’m willing to bet that the relationship would only be open for HIM if OP was as desperate as he was hoping she’d be. What a toolbag
Polyamory is Greek for “I still need a place to live.”
My friend works at a dog groomers
One of the FIRST things they do is brush out any stuck fur.
If its just left their it can cause quite a few issues. Ive seen the pictures, sometimes, when an owner like this comes in, they have so much fur to sweep off the floor you cant tell that there even is a floor.
It just builds up and builds up until they have a heat stroke, get an infection if they get hurt, or start to develop rashes.
God that first one, they literally say it themselves: you should help when you can. This was an occasion when you *can't.* That's it!!
What they really mean is, "You should always help your sister whenever she wants you to, no excuses!"
That last story, as someone who worked with animals for years, OP was the one in the right. That poor dog was probably itching like crazy. If it's a long haired dog, they should be brushing it at LEAST once a week. From the way it was described, it sounded like it had been months since the dog was brushed. And who tf knows the last time it was brought to a groomer
"Fired and tried to rehire":
You're never in the wrong for deciding not to work for a bad boss. Period.
Also, what you did wasn't even bad to begin with, so good riddance.
*First OP:* From reading the title? NTA. After reading the story? Definitely NTA. Why should OP skip the exam? Why can't her sister skip a friend's party?
*Second OP:* OMG NTA! whatever the opposite of an AH is, OP is that.
*Third OP:* I agree that this doesn't make sense. Are OP and her bf in an interracial relationship, and that's why the bf thinks OP is treating his parents like charity cases? Also, I feel like the real reason the bf is upset about the gifts is that it makes _him_ look bad showing up empty-handed. I also think OP's bf made up some lie to get his parents against OP. Either way, NTA.
*Third OP Update:* Poor OP. :/ Her ex is a major AH for wasting four years of OP's life AND for lying on his dad.
*Fourth OP:* OP's right for standing his ground. NTA.
When the clock turns 3pm and you refresh your page 10 times for that rSlash upload
9:00 for me!
Edit: A.M
2 o'clock for me
4:00 PM for me
7AM here
Anytime we go to someone’s house, we bring something. ALWAYS! My husband had never heard of such a thing before meeting me. Also, thank you notes were not something his family did. Their faces were hilarious when they talked about our “thank you” notes! Also, I was taught to never give a gift like a decorated box, purse, the such without a penny for luck!
Yeah, this boyfriend and his parents are insane. Are you kidding me? If I invite someone to dinner and they bring things like fresh flowers, or a bottle of wine... Not required, but many thanks will be given for being thoughtful.
Yo
Dad dropping the Karen in the last story is an awful suggestion because a) its hard to get into therapy and b) let alone find a therapist the patient(s) respond to well. If anything, its questionable for OP to advertise there because his business could impede on dad's.
OP is under no obligation to start working for her again, but OP continuing to get referrals through dad's place of employment means this situation could continue to arise.
First story "i had to babysit my nieces so my sister could go to a fun event" doesn't sound like a valid reason to take the test at another time.
Breaking up with somebody who’s such an arsehole that you end up getting custody of their parents is totally baller!
Story #2 - NTA, that ending was priceless. Good riddance to overgrown spoiled brats and bad boyfriends.
Story 3: may I ask you? Do you have an Italian heritage? It's super common to bring something to aid dinner in Italy as a guest. It's a sign of appreciation for them cooking for you. It's usually a bottle of wine or dessert. Most people even count on that small gift. My mom's friend for example will always tell my mom what's needed since she knows. Like if she needs beer or wine. One day to another's friend she brought dishwasher caps saying they are always needed and quite expensive. NTA I don't know who wouldn't like small gifts.
You know OP probably isn't in this comment section, right?
I'm cuban, and we do the same thing. The rule is, if the host is making dinner, you bring something; wine, a dessert, flowers, etc.
@@craigsticht5701 it was indeed a rethorical question.
@@bflat5274 I think it came from the Romans. They made it a rule.
I don't think this in a Italian thing since I and my friends do this too.(we are different races/non italian)
For the story about the sister who dropped her kids off knowing that her sister was unavailable to babysit, I can relate. I was the primary babysitter for my eldest sister’s kids when they were really young, and she would sometimes pull this same sort of crap. It wasn’t QUITE as bad as this story. For one thing, I was getting paid to babysit so it was never a freebie.
One time I had just got back from vacation. I had spent roughly 24 hours riding on a train, plus there was a several hour wait in between trains in the town of Jasper, so I hadn’t slept in over a day (I just couldn’t sleep on the train). The only thing I wanted to do when I got home was to take a nice long nap, but practically the moment I stepped through the door my sister dropped her kid off.
Another time I had the flu. I was sick in bed the whole week feeling nauseous. I finally started feeling better on the last day that Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure was scheduled to play at the local movie theatre. Again my sister just dropped her kid off without even asking. Not only was that very rude and selfish, but I might have still been contagious. I could have gotten my nephew sick.
One time she tried to pull that same stunt on the night that I was going to be participating in a bowl-a-thon. My schools Theatre Arts class was raising money for a class trip to see The Phantom of the Opera, as well as for the local hospital to get a new CAT scan machine (in order to legally hold fundraising events like a bowl-a-thon for a class trip, you have to split the money with an actual charity). She KNEW that Mom and I had been organizing this event for weeks. Heck, MY SISTER WAS ONE OF MY SPONSORS!!!! Yet on the day of the event, just as Mom and I were getting ready to head over to the bowling alley, my sister tried to get me to watch my nephew.
The one that really pissed me off was when she and I arrived at the house at the same time. I was just stopping by to grab my swimsuit, towel, and pool pass to go swimming with my friends. When she saw me she said “Oh good you’re home. That means you can babysit.” No “Hello”, not “Are you available to babysit?” The level of entitlement in her voice when she said that is what pissed me off. I said “Nope. I’m going swimming with my friends and won’t be back for hours.” She said “Well can you be back by X o’clock? My husband and I want to go see the local beauty pageant.” (The pageant had been advertised in the paper for weeks giving them plenty of time to make these plans with me in advance) I replied with “We’ll see,” which any parent should know is “Parent-ese” for “No, but I’ll let you think it might be yes to shut you up.” So my friends and I stayed at the pool right up until closing time. When I got home my sister and I got into a huge argument over it. I told her that she can’t just expect me to drop everything and watch her kids for her at a moment’s notice. If it’s a legitimate emergency that’s one thing. But for something like going to see a beauty pageant, that you have to plan weeks in advance? Then you have to TELL ME weeks in advance, and ASK ME if I’m available to babysit! Had they actually DONE THAT, I would have been fine with babysitting. But again, it was that damned phrase, “Oh good you’re home, that means you can babysit” that drove me over the edge.
I’m sure that last time was a real wake up call for my sister (that or her husband told her that waiting to the last minute like that was a shitty thing to do) because after that she always made sure to ask in advance that I keep certain dates free to babysit, instead of just assuming that I’ll drop everything last minute.
Story 1: some classes won’t let you reschedule exams unless it’s a major emergency or something. The sister was just an a-hole. Plus what if OP had already left for the day and the kids just sat on the porch all day? They could’ve been hurt, kidnapped, who knows what else? Also what kind of friend’s party lasts from early in the morning to 9 pm?
First story NTA. The mother in that parent done basically child neglect. She left them at someone else's house and just drove off. Also why OP should sacrifice his future in form of exam for his sister's kid.
Third story. If they didn't like you bringing gifts they could've said that you shouldn't do this but this is seriously weird. Edit: Ok just watched the update. The BF is 5/5 YTA. He lied to everyone because he didn't felt like being in relationship.
Your responses reassure me that not everyone is so ridiculous. Yesterday my boyfriend and I got the cops called on us because we were messing with our metal detector and some guy rode up yelling at us that we were trying to steal his gutters? Lol
3rd OP needs to dump her boyfriend
OH CRAP I KNEW THERE WAS MORE
With the road trip story, OP didn't invite the entitled brat. Entitled brat's father invited himself and her. OP said she didn't even want them to go.
the story around the 16 min mark makes me laugh. Like, they're causing harm to the dog by brushing it... how? she's literally the type of person to own a dog breed that is prone to matting and then gets confused when the dog is suffering because of its mega matted hair.
I have never heard of anyone freaking out over brushing a dog before. I wonder where she got the idea that it's bad to brush a dog and you should let the hair fall out naturally. I wonder how long that dog had went without being brushed before OP did it?!? 🤔
"Skipping Exams" is NOT an option
I'm sorry, if I had a kid, and their significant other brought small gifts that shows they paid attention to my likes and dislikes (my favorite desert/wine, flowers I liked) I would be fucking furious if I found out my kid treated them the way op's boyfriend treated her.
As the owner of a double coated dog the last op's (thankfully) former boss also needs a 1.5/5 bhole rating for torturing her dog. Double coated dogs need particular handling i.e. you don't shave them but not brushing will cause matting and general discomfort. Brushing a double coated dog is almost more important than brushing a single coated dog, she needs education!
Story 3: I feel like OP’s relationship is similar to my ex’s and my relationship, so it was nice to hear what r/slash had to say about it. Even though it was four years of life, it’s so much better not being in a manipulative/abusive relationship.
Story 1: OP should have just reported the kids as abandoned to teach their entitled sister a lesson
Also, OP’s sister has enough money to go to an escape room but not enough to pay for a babysitter? Sure…..
I'm willing to bet someone else paid for the escape room.
I always bring something over when I come to a friend's house or family to show that I am participating as well as not being a freeloader to them by having nothing to share.
Okay so, I'm polyamorous and have multiple partners. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS MANIPULATING PEOPLE INTO OPEN RELATIONSHIPS OKAY. Please don't think all us open relationship people are the same.
U chat some much 💩 "im polyamorous" "im lesbian" "im transgender" "im homeschooled" all from your last 4 comments. Stop lying
Exactly! I'm poly, and my partner isn't 100 percent sure. But we communicate about this, and have done so since the relationship started.
That ex was a piece of trash. OP sounds amazing.
THIS! ^
Second story: God the entitlement of these two. I say break out is the best solution, is no worth keep dating a en entitled parent and tolerate his equally entitled daughter.
I don’y understand how brushing the dog could hurt him? Like, yeah excessive grooming is bad, but deep brushing and deshedding the dog once every once in a while is probably good for him, right?
Not to mention, OP said the dog enjoyed it, so he was probably grateful for it too.
What the hell... first story my jaw dropped when the entitled sister said to RETAKE THE EXAM cuz of babysitting? Are you serious? Dude you can't take care of yer children don't have em. Simple!
Story 1:NTA. I would have just reported child abandonment
For the last story, I’m so confused. Like I’m extremely passionate about pet care and I’ve literally never heard about this. If it’s a double coated breed brushing all that fur out probably felt amazing for that dog. Is she confusing grooming with shaving???
as someone who is poly, forced polyamory is not okay in the slightest
Right? Don’t do this manipulative BS. Just talk to your partner like an adult.
Yep. Asked about it with my boyfriend once, then when he said no I dropped it and never mentioned it again. If you have to force it to work, it will never work
Thank you. I've been married twice, and both assholes decided they wanted to be poly and weren't interested in me at all, but that I wasn't allowed to do anything with anyone. I pretty much found out what was up after I got on their respective medical insurances. (I'm disabled, and also autistic, and never learned how to read those signals.)
I would have been fine being poly, at least in the beginning. Unfortunately, that's abuse, not polyamory, and now I'm not comfortable with ANY number of partners.
All poly is coerced and nothing more than fancy cheating.
@@wmdkitty tell us you don't know anything about being poly without telling us 🙄
Healthy polyamory is based on communication. It's not my fault you can't love more than one person. Also? Being monogamous? In this economy?
Dogs like that really do need to get brushed so they don’t get impacted coat, she was being kind of neglectful to the dog
For the last story that dog needs to be brushed. The fur could become matted and cause some bad skin/health problems for the dog in the long term
So glad from the update. The ex's plan was totally bonkers. I don't understand why people like this want an open relationship without talking to their partner/spouse about it first. Four years wasted all because he didn't want commitment. OP did dodge a bullet.
First story: If you did not compete in making sex trophies, you are not responsible for them 🤔
So the lady from the last story straight up doesnt groom her dog? Thats how you get matted fur. Shaving double coated breeds is bad, brushing is good for them.
She didn't allow them ,they invited themselves
The girl bringing things over out of politeness, made me think, "The south isn't a foreign country." This isn't a "foreign culture thing" this is basic manners. Also, a man-child that would do that shit should be an ex.
I feel like the BF lied to the Dad and/or the Mom. Specifically because the parents didn't mention anything about the flowers or the whole "charity case" thing. OP needs to contact the mom flat out about the whole situation and find out what is actually going on.
Edit: WTF, he is a complete lunatic and needs to get his as beat, verbally, of course.
If someone is bringing you a gift every week and you think it’s just too much the nice thing to do is to say “hey, thanks for the gifts we appreciate it but you don’t have to.” And leave it at that.
First story: NTAH. The sister asked a favor, and OP said no. End of discussion. It's basic consent!
Also the sister is insane saying to OP "you should've missed a important college exam and simply redo it later, just so I can party for hours". It wasn't even a emergency situation.
@@BeanManolo FR. I sprained my neck and still had to drag myself to an exam.
If OP's parents think she should provide free babysitting, why aren't they the ones doing the babysitting? It's their grandkids!!
Fourth story: Is time that this mom meet something called consequences. And if she did that at the first slightly annormality that means she never trusted OP to begin with.
Comment on the 3rd story: I'm half Belgian, half French, I'm white, it's kinda morally expected to ask if you need to bring something over when visiting someone for lunch/diner or to automatically bring something.
Last time we got visit for lunch I received bottles of white wine as a gift. So basically it's not just an American thing, it's just the globally polite/kind thing to do to show appreciation.
I'm from Spain. Is it normal in the USA and other countries to have kids when you are only 18/19 or in your early 20s? I see it often and I think it's nuts to be a parent that early, honestly. I could only understand it if it wasn't planned but you decided to stick with it. Otherwise I think a person that age is rarely mature enough to raise a kid.
Kudos to you if you can and if you manage to raise regular/good kids at that age, but I don't understand giving up some life experiences so soon in order to be a parent. Here in Spain people usually wait to have kids at least until in the late 20s but more common in early 30s.
In my experience (I've lived in a few different states), it depends where you are in the US.
It's a much more common thing in the Southeast due to poor sex education and a culture of "marry your high school sweetheart", "save your virginity for marriage", etc.
However, in the northeast/Midwest, it's a lot more common to have kids in your late 20s-early 30s. In the northeast, people seem to push it closer to mid- and late-30s, but that's just in my experience. I'm not sure what it's like on the West coast, but I'd assume its similar.
Yeah I'd have to agree with the other commenter here. Sex Ed in the US is piss poor, so that can lead to a lot of younger births especially in "less educated" areas. Some parts of religion here are also very strict about "no sex before marriage", leading people to marry young with inexperience in that area.
Ideally, most people want to have kids when they're financially stable enough to have them, at least in the west. From what I've seen in the northwest, most of the young adults I've met don't even want kids, unless they're mormon.
I had my first at 20
We heard a similar story to the first one a while ago, except that one ended with OP calling the police for child abandonment. Both cases, NTAH.
Story 1: usually early in the morning starts either 6 to 7 am so she left her kids with OP for 14 to 15 hours, anyone who just dumps their kids to someone else has no room to call anyone "irresponsible"
It makes me happy when somebody dodges a bad relationship.
Second story: as someone who grew up taking road trips twice a year, I can confirm it is an EXTREMELY stressful and difficult period of time. Dave and his daughter shouldn’t have come if they couldn’t handle it, though I’ll bet anything they were just using OP for a vacation.
Story so this man's brilliant plan was to gaslight you, lie to you, and use his dad's phone to gaslight you further, all because he's unfaithful, and wants a strained relationship, that's funny way of saying "I don't love you I only love being with you" there's a special place in hell for this level of social manipulation.
I'm a musher and also have a pet Akita. I can confirm that brushing dogs is messy, but vital because the dog could overheat, or trap dirt and get stuck which could require cutting it out.
Good job OP!
First story: Just go hang out with friends on the day you normally watch the kids and don't answer your phone for anything. If she loses her job tell her you had a lot on your plate that day and needed to do a 12 hour long escape room to unwind and insists that your parents call your sister and defend you for this behavior.
Story 1: That sister was lucky OP was still at home. I can only imagine what would have happened if they weren't. Though sis and parents would likely have blamed them.
Story 2: Can't say that OP didn't try to give things a chance. The lack of respect from Dave and his brat teen is astounding. And he spent all his money on his brat? His own damned fault.
Story 3: Just...wow. Apparent BF hated how much his parents loved OP.
Story 4: I can get OP's dad's position since he has to deal with this woman because he's treating her kids and since he didn't order OP to return to working for the woman, he can wish all he wants. What did the woman expect? That she was the only work in town you'd be able to get? If that were the case, it wouldn't be so hard to find childcare. (And a housekeeper and pet sitter all in one person? Her own damned fault.)
You gotta love how the Karen in that last story literally called Op’s DAD to try to get him to come back and work for her😂
like…she does understand OP is an adult and his dad can’t force him to work for her right?
NTA OP
As much as op should've asked if he could brush the dog it wasn't like he hurt it, brushing your dog is extremely important and prevents them from getting matted and having all their fur shaved off and keeps their coat nice and healthy so how is it abuse if you brush it?
And most dogs _love_ being brushed. It is almost like a luxury form of scratches.
The amount of times I've heard Rslash say "if your parents think it's so important then they can do it" is so many I bet someone would buy it on a tea shirt.