6 Causes Of Sex Addiction (Revealed) | How Did They Become A Sexual Addict? | Dr. Doug Weiss
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- čas přidán 31. 03. 2020
- There are 6 causes of sexual addiction. This video explains how someone becomes a sex addict.
For more information and solutions, buy Dr. Weiss' book, "The Final Freedom" at: www.drdougweiss.com/product/f...
The definition of sex addiction. What is it?
Sex addiction is the active use of a sexual behavior, whether it is masturbation, an internet porn addiction, fetishes and/or behavior with self or others in a compulsive life-destroying pattern. When you are addicted to sex it is called a sex addiction.
This is a real issue impacting millions of individuals, marriages, and families around the globe.The impact is felt in the life of the addict and his or her surrounding family members and friends. You and the one you love can recover from the damaging effects this can have on your relationship. Whether you are an addict or the partner of an addict: you are not alone and there is hope!
There are six different types of a sex addict. The more you know about what type you are, the more successful you can be in recovery. Dr. Doug Weiss takes a look at each type, what the associated sex addiction is, and what behaviors go along with that type of addict. Visit drdougweiss.com/product/final... for more information.
The six types are:
#1. Biological
#2. Psychological
#3. Spiritual
#4. Past Trauma & Sexual Abuse
#5. Intimacy Anorexia
#6. Mood Disorder
All of these types can be treated. Dr. Weiss has been treating sex addiction of all kinds for over 30 years after recovering from his own sex addiction. Dr. Weiss takes yearly polygraphs to verify his freedom from sexual addiction.
You can be free too! If you would like to find out more information, you can call 719-278-3708 or e-mail us at Heart2Heart@xc.org
Also, if you're unsure if you have a sexual addiction, you can take the tests on our website.
Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction Tests
These tests can help you understand if sexual addiction and porn addiction affects you. Take the test here: sexaddict.com/sex-addiction-a...
Need help with sex addiction? Visit the Heart to Heart Counseling Center website at drdougweiss.com | sexaddict.com/ or call us at 719-278-3708.
To download our free app that has tons of useful content on sex addiction and purity, go to: www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, “Partner Betrayal Trauma™”.
For more information on Sex Addiction, go to www.sexaddict.com
For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/
For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to www.drdougweiss.com/store/
You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, www.drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook / drdougweiss
by phone at 719-278-3708
or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.
Need help with sex addiction or just more information? Visit the Heart to Heart Counseling Center website at
www.drdougweiss.com | www.sexaddict.com
Email us at heart2heart@xc.org or call my office at 719-278-3708.
We have several resources available, including the 6 types test at sexaddict.com available (which provides some recommendations afterwards), our free app (with daily tips) you can download, or the free Clean Class you can watch (teaches principles on sexual purity).
www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/
www.drdougweiss.com/class/
For books and DVDs, we have "The Final Freedom", "Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity", and "Lust Free Living".
www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/clean-a-proven-plan-for-men-committed-to-sexual-integrity/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/lust-free-living/
If you are a teen dealing with this, along with porn and sex addiction, you can check out this video for additional guidance: czcams.com/video/hHA2A4-y9LE/video.html
If you need support, you can try a phone counseling session, or join a phone group or local group to aid in the path of recovery. We don't get better by ourselves.
719-278-3708
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
Having an accountability partner of the same gender or a counselor/pastor/etc. or a support group to confide in helps as well in the struggle.
"Real heart needs met in a false way" is a brilliant way of putting it.
The trauma of being married to a sex addicted partner who has the “intimacy anorexia” is horrifying, it destroyed me, our marriage, our family and our very profitable business, today he has nothing, not even a car!!!😢
I’m only 13 and I’m already hooked on this disgusting habit. I’m trying to stop please pray for me!!
Praying for you🙏
Seek out help little one. God is our present help in time of trouble. Confess your sins one to another and you will be healed. Seek God through the people He has given you to. Praying 🙏🏾 for your spirit man to be strong in the LORD and the power of His might. ❤
Praying for you!!
@@smartiemart252 I'm over 30 and it still tormenting me.
I am 31 i started when i was 13.. i wish i could have stopped in the early years
Thank you so much for this information. It has helped me understand what what is wrong with him and why.
Thank you for setting all this out so clearly and giving real hope. I will follow up with your other links.
You're welcome and I hope all goes well with you on your journey towards recovery, healing, and freedom.
WOW!! Great advice....
Nicely said👍👍
This information is absolutely timely, coming at the right time to fix myself before getting married.
Dr. Weiss this is really helpful, God bless you.
I grew up in a satanic foster home & I suffer from PTSD. I’m trying so hard to stop masterbating, i don’t do it much & I don’t watch porn (haven’t since 2019) but I want to stop Masterbation completely. I’m going to try what you’ve recommended. 💘
.
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Update : JESUS SET ME FREE ✝️✨🙌🏼
Wow!!! What an amazing update!!! Praise Jesus✝️🙌✝️ I am very proud of you!
🙏🏻 Thank you Jesus! Keep up the good work!!!
I’m a grad student studying clinical mental health counseling and I’ve found these videos so helpful. Thank you!
You're welcome. I hope you continue to do well in your studies.
thanks for what you are doing. I am just beginning to understand this addiction and am trying to fix myself
THIS IS SPIRTUAL BATTLE!!!!
Thanks Dr. Weiss. I'm currently finishing the AASAT training and look forward to starting the supervisory period. This model has been such big help to me and the men I coach. Thanks for your wisdom and example of sexual integrity.
You're welcome. I'm glad you are healing others!
Do you need any prior experience or education before pursuing something like this?
Wow, this hits on the nail. I understand what happened with in my marriage now. Unfortunately, we are divorced now. He is chasing his addiction. But now understand myself better on why I couldn't connect even though I loved him SO MUCH. But the verbal abuse kept me away. I experienced that as a child too. 💔It's heartbreaking💔 I want to be whole again. I pray he can do the same. Thank you, Dr. Weiss. Prayers are being answered. I'm going to tell my therapist about this video and all the others I have watched. This is very clear. Doing the test. 🙏 receiving my healing!
I'm sorry to hear about your pain. It is a legitimate issue to deal with. If you need more information or direction on what to do next and steps to heal, you can call my office at 719-278-3708. I hope you get the help you need.
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you, I will call.
@@nickijaneking1706 Praying for him to be set free. And for God to heal both your hearts! In. Jesus. Name.... Amen
* you both should be checked for STDs and the herpes viruses. They don't include that with the STDs. I pray you are both free from this. God has blessed me with freedom from it. Unfortunately, many are not. It's a part of cheating. 💔
@@nickijaneking1706 its because i want you truly happy, i would leave him. You deserves better, not a man who is addicted
You should work it out with him
Thanks and praise to our Lord God Heavenly Father for blessing us with this knowledge through you Dr Weiss. May the Holy Spirit continue guiding us in living righteously through Christ Jesus Amen.
Awwww💖💖💖🙏🙏
@@rebeccahermes9970 GOD loves you all, GOD bless you all in JESUS name Romans10-9:12 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him." Luke 13-2:3""Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? 3| tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish."have trust and faith in GOD✝️❤️
GOD loves you all, GOD bless you all in JESUS name Romans10-9:12 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him." Luke 13-2:3""Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? 3| tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish."have trust and faith in GOD✝️❤️
Thank you so much for giving all this information!
Great video..
Currently waiting for your Freedom book.
Thank you so much.
Started with puberty. I’ll be 31 in November.
I haven’t had a single successful relationship post puberty.
I knew I had a problem but didn’t want to admit addiction. I see it’s more than satisfying an urge - thank you for the enlightenment to what the consequences of sin are….
I prayed and prayed this morning, and even satisfied myself just so I could focus on these videos…… I have hope.
Thank you Father for answering my prayers with Godly men who give real information and wisdom.
Thank you for helping me discover what is in my own heart
Amazing Thank you!
You're welcome.
Thank you for this!
You're welcome
Thanks for the video Dr Doug. I can relate myself to at least 4 of them, psychological being right at the top. Hope somebody had educated me about this a decade ago things would have been different but anyways better late than never. Sex education in my country back then was non-existent and it still is non-existent. Dr Doug, again thanks for spreading this wisdom. God bless you.
Some people simply do not care about their partners or the destruction they cause. One and done should be the mantra for the neglected partner dealing with secrets and lies.
What an advice ..Dr ..well explained about the fantacies..n how it is impacted..root cuse should be cured.!👍👌👌
kmm mm m
Thank you I'm suffering from this addiction and am in need to get better but it's hard in my city needing help
If you've already tried looking in your city for any local counseling centers or support groups, you could search in another city or state. You could also try doing phone counseling, join a phone support group, or you can come to us for a session:
719-278-3708
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
www.drdougweiss.com/sex-addiction-counseling/
We also have sex addiction books and DVDs available, our free online Clean Class series, and our app with daily tips as well:
www.drdougweiss.com/?product_cat=&s=final+freedom&post_type=product
www.drdougweiss.com/?product_cat=&s=clean&post_type=product
www.drdougweiss.com/class/
www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/
Thank you very much Bro! It is so important what you do! Blessings to you!
You are very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed the video.
@@DrDougWeiss Of course i did theire is so much wisdom. And this comes from God. Be blessed Brother.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank u so much
Dr. Weiss, I will retire from the military in just a couple of years. I am CSATP and absolutely love ushering men to freedom. However, it has been quite a few years since I routinely counseled and ran groups. Do you offer CEU sessions? I need to update my skills and fine tune my practice. As always, I appreciate the work that you do. Thank you for staying in the fight.
Thank you and I'm glad that you want to help other men. We don't have the CEU sessions that you're looking for, however, you are welcome to take the sexual recovery/sex addiction course. It is full of practical tools at aasat.org
I love your info! Sadly, a close family member became a sex addict. It was so painful.. always watched pornography daily at night into wee hours of the night. He isolated himself, pulled away from family, lost employment a high ranking position, he started to be sloppy with his addiction.
I am having same problem porn at night
I love my husband, he confessed to me over a year ago he had a problem. I urged him then to get help and told him I would walk through it with him. He hasn’t and we are separated 20months now. I want to share this help with him but don’t know if he will receive it as love or judgment. But it is 100% from a heart of love.
Did you reconsile?
He’s decided he’s for the streets. I wouldn’t send it. Give love to those who can receive it.
My husband is several of these. I’m at my wits end and strongly considering leaving. I do not know if he will get help. I’m so neglected . Very much intimacy anorexia. We had a problem with him allowing other women older women to flirt with him publicly on social media.
I am here to learn how to be here for my husband. He hasn't sought out help specifically for this. I am not sure if he's aware of any of this. I believe he tried talk therapy, but that he's not able to keep up with it, due to work life. It's been seven years together and 3 beautiful boys (Children) we have together, but I am exhausted from his behavior which I believe is linked to this topic. Even though it gets lonely even when he is home, I don't see it being any better pulling the family apart to become single parents which I see only leaving our children more to a disadvantage and even vulnerable/ danger to stuff most have experienced in childhood like this topic for example etc... I want to help in any way possible, but he needs to want it. Good day.
WOW Im So Disgusted By It ALL....
I went through 25 years as a sex addict, love addict, and drug addict. Those three aren't all separate addictions, really, as one begets the other.
My sex addiction wasn't about the release. Orgasm was similar to the come-down from drugs, and meant the fantasy was finished and reality would intrude yet again.
I have to be honest that there are days where I grow wistful about those days.
That's scary for me....the partner of the same addictions as yourself. They are big shoes to fill for a real person.
Thank you for your honesty.
.
'
@@katsarti9224ok
Wow I’m so relived that I’m not the only one that’s going through this.but my question for you is what do u do when they deny doing it just so they don’t have to stop
You can ask your partner to take a polygraph to verify whether they stopped or not.
Feels like I’m paying a high price for a low life. Reaching out for help, I’ll take any advice and I’m willing to go to any lengths. Looking for a therapist who specializes in this. Hope to hear back soon.
We have several options available for you from individual counseling to DVDs and books. Call us at 719-278-3708 for more information.
I am a cheater. I don't know why I do it. I don't know if I'm an addict or not. I'm tired of hurting people. I just want to be a better person.
I would do a phone session with a counselor to get started. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get more information on that and to set it up.
2 in the beginning, then for work a bit of 3), then 6 (current, and becoming worse, neurological disorder due to work) and becoming also 5.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom Doug. My question for you is this: is the method of treatment different for each type, or are some the same? Ex: biological vs phsycological.
Each is unique but most people have several types, so there are combined treatment strategies they need.
Thank you .
Wish if you add arabic translation , alot of Arab need this information
Started porn and self sex at age 3. I'm 50 now. I've ruined my marriage and every other relationship. I tried things to help but failed. Seeing Dr. Weiss's videos has given me hope for the first time. Thank you for posting this info.
I want to encourage you. Recovery is possible. If you'd like to get set up in a telephone support group you can call my office at 719-278-3708
Demon
😳👽😳
It's no wonder I ended up at a treatment centre. I identify with all of these except the sexual abuse. My acting out was mostly cerebral though. It was all about the fantasy. Fantasy about women, a new job, new friends, new wife. The fallout was no different. I'm getting better.
How do keep up the commitment?
Hello Dr Weiss, My wife and I are pastors and she is a full-time minister. I have allowed myself to be cornered with a bewildering and often overwhelming situation in the sexual area. I am married and my wife is fully aware of the situation and she is absolutely amazing. I really really want to find resolution and could really use a confidential conversation. Any suggestions?
Hi Brent. You can call my office at 719-278-3708 to set a telephone appointment with a counselor. You can also e-mail us at heart2heart@xc.org.
The tests aren't available on your site, unfortunately.
i wanna get help but i don’t wanna be know in any way
😔💔 20 years dealing with this
Hi ı just find out my husband is sex addiction and cheat on me several times. How can I convince him to take therapy, how should I talk? And do you give online therapy? Thanks
I been fooling myself for so long , trying to convince myself that I’m not addicted to sex until now I’m 30 and I can’t escape it . I feel so disgusted of myself . It’s like a drug , no matter the time no matter place no matter the person . If I don’t do it I end up hurting myself
I feel disconnected alot, spend alot of time alone. I find it difficult to be with a women not because its difficult but I cannot find people to be with, I find usually the women I find are usually angry and I am quite demotivated in general I think the masturbation adds to my apathy and mylack of memory. Always wanted to stop but the mind seems to rationalise it and enjoy it, afterwards I can feel tired, low for a day... then OK, then I stop for a while and then when I feel good I want to masturbate... sometimes in bed I can feel bad, I masturbate...
Same here
Dr I heard everything you said and I really want to change from this person who I've become, I don't know how I will do it because I've never had to but all I know is I need to, and I am extremely willing, Please help me, someone, I'm strong but I'm scared Thank you
You can get in a support group or meet with a counselor and start from there. The book "The Final Freedom" can be a good start as well.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-book/
I mean you could just find a partner that's a "sex addict" and then you could live a happy fulfilled life together with all the sex you want instead of feeling like your high sex drive is a problem... Now with that being said if the man wants multiple women and one women isn't enough for him then he's just a jerk that can't be helped... But a guy who has a very active sex drive doesn't mean he wants to or should for that matter cheat. Some guys just really like sex and want it more often than most. I'd say meet a woman who can and will satisfy those needs. Or vice versa. I feel the Dr. Making this video fails to elaborate on the difference. I've never cheated on anyone personally however I have a high sex drive and it led to many arguments in my first marriage. I never cheated but I was always frustrated. Now 6 years later I've found that compatibility of sex drives is actually VERY important in a relationship and often leads to a happier relationship in the long run.
You said its treatable for your brain to go from liking 'objects' to liking real people. I relate to this - I can't get an erection with actual people. I feel like i'm going crazy and hijacked by these demanding sexual rules. What exactly is the process treating this or does stopping masturbation automatically re-wire you?
I believe I’m in a flatline (the term I found online), my sexual drive has completely gone after 4 months of recovery with only 3 relapses. The last one was 60 days ago. What is going on in your opinion? 45 year old married male. My addiction has been a problem from the age of 12.
Thanks and God bless!
This could be several things. I recommend the DVD "Sexless and Married"in which I go over several reasons and solutions. It would take too long for me to write a proper response.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-dvd/
I’ve been having non intimate sex with who wants to be “friends” for 18 years.
It’s only been a few years now that we have been going to social gatherings.
I noticed he treats me indifferent. His energy gets at a high I’ve never seen in him before, he’s so focused on all the women around, saying sweet things about and to them, playful touching them. When I start to show signs of being hurt. He gets really angry, starts criticizing me for feeling weak, I’m the angry one, starts telling everyone I’m insane. In the 18 years, has never once told me sweet things or that he loves me. Yet it comes so easily given to other women around and in front of me. I’ve always believed him, when he says that I have a cold heart for others, a witch from hell, dark spirited. I always focused on my internal healing. Anyways, I’m still confused. Now he’s telling me that I’m a sex monster that’s why I’m searching about sex addiction.
This does not seem like a healthy relationship. I recommend you get counseling to understand why you accept so little in a relationship.
He does not deserve you
My h is IA, PA, and sex addiction. He's 72 years old and he still fantasizes about a girl who showed up at his door one night for sex back in 1973. Its a psychological connection for sure. Before he met me ALL his " relationships were picked up in bars. I had no idea of this. He put on a real act and always respected me. My question is ------- is he in love with this girl from his past. He has told me some pretty hurtful things. Thank you Dr.
He is probably not in love with her as a person because he didn't even knew her really. He has reinforced ideas of her as a sex object not as a person in his sex addiction.
The pain and trauma you have experienced from this are valid. We have a Partners of Sex Addicts phone group and Facebook group that can give you support if you wish to join.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/partner-groups/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I’m all six. This is depressing. The worst part is the unknown. Am I going to get better? I just started a new job not knowing what to do where to go how to start it feels like a 10,000 pound boulder is on top of me. I’m 2 1/2 years clean from alcohol and crystal math and cigarettes. When I don’t watch the porn, that’s when the food addiction rears its ugly head. It’s a back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth. Where does someone go who is broke with no health insurance and no hope?
Start in a local 12 step support group or find community service counseling. You can also use our free app at www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/
You are not alone. We don't get better by ourselves.
Hi sir. I was assaulted during my high school days by my uncle. now I have a boyfriend and I feel like I am a sexual addict and my partner seems to have no interest on it causing me to feel frustrated and lonely.
I would see a counselor for the past trauma. If your partner is not interested you can end this relationship.
I didn’t know what was going on with my ex husband until after we got divorced. I didn’t know until I watched your video. We were married for 30 yrs. He has intimacy anorexia. You described him to a T. There’s no way that he would have ever admitted to it or done something about it. He’s totally disconnected! 😢
I'm glad to hear that this video was able to bring clarity to your situation. I'm sorry that you have gone through this in your marriage, the disconnection and withholding of intimacy are indeed painful. If you need support, please reach out to my team at 719-278-3708 and get connected with one of our therapists can help you find healing.
You might also find the book Married & Alone useful as it helps provide validation and understanding on the situation: www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/
I really only do it because it feels good. I don’t have depression or sadness or anything. I just think it feels good. Should I still stop? I’ve been doing it for 1 year
Yes. You should stop. Nothing is healthy about it at all. The worse part is it will hurt your relationship with your life partner to the point where you will quickly lose sexual interest in them and only want to sexual satisfaction produced by yourself
@@a-youngrocky8541 ok I talked to my dad about it and he said it’s ok but I shouldn’t watch videos or look at pictures. I still been doing it tho. It’s hard to drop it.
@@untilted5216
I recommend you to search for it damages, because its harmful.
My former spouse was a porn addict that progressed horrifically to using underage sex trafficked females and having his own pictures taken, which he hid in our home. I divorced him but got only minimal help through the courts in protecting my sons from his behaviors. Eventually, both my sons became addicts themselves, and although they are now in their 30s, they are emotionally still about 13 years old. It’s so very sad.
I'm sorry to hear about what the pain and trauma that you and your family have experienced from this. However, healing and recovery are still possible.
You can contact our main office at 719-278-3708 and we have therapists available who can help with partner betrayal trauma and sex addiction recovery.
Regarding the sex addiction, we have a lot of helpful resources that you can check out at sexaddict.com
Well my husband is all of them but the intimacy anorexiL .. you know before I wish I would of know of his behavior but honestly now its way to late his just not my type and what his put me through i can't and won't try to do this with him I already wasted 4 years on this all 4 years of his cheating putting me at risk and doesn't even value my health ... he won't reach out and get his self help plus his a acholic this is why he don't care about anything but his own needs achol is what makes this happen.. and he well not stop drinking always lies saying his gonna stop but I know what kind of man I married a nightmare hopeless divorce tired feed up. But I am glad I got to see this video it was interesting thank you
I'm sorry for all this trauma and pain you have been dealing with. We have support groups available if you'd like to join. You can also call our office at 719-278-3708 and make an appointment with one of our therapists.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
Starts at 3:38
im 15 its been a year Ive been trying to stop it and I keep failing I need help from someone that knows what to do. I usually due it out of boredom because I want to stop feeling, cause right after I do it IM drained and fall asleep but right after I regret it. I need help respond to me thanks
You can try talking to a pastor, counselor, or someone you would trust as an accountability partner (to hold you accountable for stopping), or join a support group. Also try to engage in other positive activities when the feeling arises. The tips in this video as well as guidance you can get from taking the 6 types test at sexaddict.com can prove useful.
Are long term affairs object relationship? My ex has left and is marrying the affair partner, now I wonder we’re both the affair partner and I are object.
Hey I came across this really good marriage helper channel that talks about this. Statistically they failed 98% of the time.
So from what iam hearing, Intimacy Anorexia, and Narcissism, are quote simuler, can a person have both of these? And r they really capable of love?
Your trauma of living with this pain is real. I spend about an hour explaining this answer in the DVD "Narcissism, Sex Addiction, and Intimacy Anorexia".
www.drdougweiss.com/product/narcissism-sex-addiction-intimacy-anorexia-dvd/
It is possible to have both and learning or choosing to love would be on an individual basis.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4 NIV
Most especially at night
Can you still be a sex addict either psychological or trauma or a combo of the two that stopped acting out (having sex with random people indiscriminately of both sexes) over 20 years ago, with one relapse 15 years ago? But since getting married to a porn addict over 20 years ago refrained from acting out aside from that one time has not done so since? Furthermore sought counseling afterwards and slowly learned a new way of viewing or valuing sex with my spouse? Am I still a sex addict or was I just never really one? I don’t struggle with it at all anymore and feel my sex drive is likely a healthy one as I am very attracted to my husband and would love to be intimate with him every day in some way. Unfortunately because he is also a sex addict, that has continued to act out, I feel incapable of being intimate with him due to the fact that he is unfaithful. It brings back all the sex abuse trauma from my past along with feelings of abandonment, lack of worth, and just flat out FEAR… not all of the time, but when I have discovered that he has been unfaithful again. While I am terribly hurt by his betrayals or unfaithfulness the deceitfulness, lies, and neglect are by far the worst aspect of this all. He is remorseful and ashamed but also angry and resentful… as am I but we both desperately want to save our marriage and family… is that even possible anymore?
If both of you are willing it is possible to work and heal your marriage. You could do an intensive or some phone counseling. Your trauma from the betrayal you have experienced is real. As for groups, we have several phone groups for women who are married to SA/IA. You can call us at 719-278-3708 for more information about these groups and about counseling.
Hi Dr Doug. My name is Rachael. i am 33 and my husband is 42. We have been married 10 years and i found out he is not just an alcoholic but also a sex addict. I really need some help. I am so traumatised and i am worried about my stress and health i cant leave but i need to. We have an 8 yr old son.
Sorry that you are in this situation. If he doesn't get help with this, it can get worse.
Counseling and support groups can help you better make sense and find healing with this.
You can join our Partners of Sex Addicts phone group and Facebook group for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
@@DrDougWeiss Thankyou. - Rach
I need your advise as to why my partner was so outrageous and promiscuous in her life.
She would need to be evaluated to answer that. Your pain is real and you might want to talk to a counselor about this betrayal to lessen the impact in your future.
I’m addicted to pornography and I have ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder). I was bullied many years in school and I was very unhappy in that times. Is there a connection between porn, bullying and my mental illness (ocd)?
OCD is usually a chemical imbalance so if you haven't already, see a psychiatrist for that. WIth the rest, trauma or the lack of emotional skills are a possible connection to addiction. I recommend the book "Emotional Fitness" for that and the "Final Freedom" for the porn addiction.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/emotional-fitness-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-book/
My partner is like 4 out of the 6 🤷♀️ I’m in so much pain. My pain is my problem apparently. He’s been doing this to me for 13 years. We have an 11 year old son. I’m sick of the fucking bullshit secrets behind my back. I used opiates for 7 years because that’s how I was coping with it. But I’ve been clean for 5 years. So I understand addiction but he watched me swallow my pills. Everything was out in the open and knew very about my addiction and my recovery but I can’t get ANY information from him. I just wanna die
I am one of those guys. She caught me. Several times in fact. Even after she tried to get involved. I feel horrible about it. I'm trying my hardest to kick it. I'm gross I know. But at the same time when it comes up she'll attack me and weaponize my short comings. I love her but I feel alone in the fight. If I bring up the fact that I feel alone she'll attack me. Trying to kick an Addiction while being with someone you still feel alone with is like trying to mop a floor with a towel. It can be done but there's an easier way and you don't wanna do it that way. Any advice on what I should do?
My husband is a SA and bipolar 1, and we are just starting on our journey of healing. How do you deal with the mania that causes them to be complete narcissists, even when they’re trying to recover?
Bipolar is a medical condition so seeing a doctor who specializes in that would be best. As for the narcissism, get a psychological test first to verify it and if so, follow the required treatment and therapy. Also if you haven't already do counseling and a support group for the addiction.
Please help me, I want to change and have a meaningful , real relationship with someone. I suffer a 6. It's terrible. Problem is I am controlled by it, but I know I need the natural medicine, natural cure, want to be normal and feel good again, emotionally numb, disconnected.
The 6 types of sex addicts test on sexaddict.com can be informative. Also, we don't get better by ourselves. Group or individual counseling can be good as well.
Same here. I relate
Causal is like a match ignites gas. Possible “reasons” not cause. Many have these experiences, but may not “cause” this, which disproves a cause connection. It’s a habit with negative consequences but with an indoctrination of a belief of “loss of control”. You choose every time, because if you’re honest with yourself, you like it.
My husband has a sex addiction... everybody in the world wants me but my husband has always rejected me with women who are not attractive. I finally found this out after 7 years of being with him and 2 beautiful healthy children. He repented to God finally after getting CAUGHT but change won’t happen overnight. What is the solution for him to change?
You could do an intensive. At the very least he could be in a group and do a polygraph to verify that he is clean. You could also join our Partners Facebook group.
719-278-3708
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I’m curious why someone would want to heal this when they are being fufilled
Help
Is it a problem if ponography don't turn you on ?
plzz help me !!! I have a mustrubating addiction from past 2 years and i really want to stop it but i cant controll myself even if i try to distract myself but i also dont have any friend or someone with whom i can share or disscuss my feelings and i also think it can harm my future i have seen ur videos but still plzz recomment few tmore tips rather than keeping it a secret cuz i dont have any friends so im stuck . and i always decide to stop it each time i mastrubate but somehow i get distracted . what should i do if im stuck in this kind of situations plzz help me dr . doug weiss
You should get in a group for support. You can join one of the Freedom Groups over the phone or join a local SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) group.
If you need help finding one, you can call us at 719-278-3708.
I Really Appreciate you and your Techniques to Overcome Addiction or M****rbation........ But Still Dr. Doug I have a problem...... I cannot Overcome it and End up in False Quitting Situation..... Please Help me and I need Your guidance Dr.!!!!
I'm glad you are working towards overcoming this behavior. Although it may seem impossible, it is possible. You are not alone in your struggle. Many who have committed towards breaking free did struggle at first, but were able to do so in the end.
It helps having someone to confide in, someone who can encourage you but at the same time hold you accountable whether it be a counselor, a pastor, a support group, or a trusted friend or relative.
Aside from this, you can utilize several of my other resources, including taking the 6 types test at sexaddict.com ,using our free app that can provide daily tips on sexual purity, or watching our free Clean Class series which gives guidance on living free from lust.
www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/
www.drdougweiss.com/class/
It may not be easy, but if you use the available resources, have the right people and are intentional in breaking free, you can do so.
@@DrDougWeiss Thank You So Much Dr. Doug, I am Much Obliged and I am Grateful That you Guided me And Gave me Suggestion or tips that Could Help me!!!
Isn't it possible to take the test anymore?
Yes you still can. Once you have signed up with your email, you will receive a link to the test. If the link doesn't work, you can call us at 719-278-3708 to help resolve this.
My husband opened up to me a few years back he was sexualy abused as a child. A few months back, i found he cheated on me many times. He is in denial and not sure what to do from here forward.
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this in your marriage. I would suggest getting counseling for the two of you to address his sexual abuse and current sex addiction, as well as the partner betrayal trauma you have experienced from his actions. Even if he is unwilling to address this, you can still get healing and support for yourself. You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to schedule with one of our certified therapists to help you work through this. We offer individual and couples sessions (in person or virtually), support groups, and even our intensive program, which provides a lot of counseling over the course of 3 or 5 days.
The Partners book and workbook would be helpful for you as they provide both validation for what you have experienced and guidance in the healing process.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partners-healing-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partners-recovery-guide-ebook/
He can utilize the book The Final Freedom and 101 Freedom Exercises to better understand his sex addiction and work through the recovery process.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/101-freedom-exercises-ebook/
My partner is 56years old. He's addicted to porn "transgender". We always argue about that. I don't know what to do with him. What do you suggest? Thanks
Could a long term “sexless” marriage be a cause of sex addiction?
Should I be married is it fair on partner
Number 5 describes my husband to a T. Every. Single. Aspect. Even the ones that seem contradictory. Believe me, I have experienced every. Single. One.
And probably some of the other ones too, but I’m going to have to relisten to all that!
Edit: 2-3-5. And I am living in the trauma of that every time the conversation comes up. (I am in therapy, but I think I may be needing some specialized trauma therapy. I’m seeking that.)
I'm sorry that you have experienced this pain and trauma from this, those are valid. For support, you can join our Married & Alone group for over the phone or on Facebook. You can also call us at 719-278-3708 if you're ever interested in the partner betrayal trauma counseling we have here. Regardless, I hope all goes well on your journey towards healing for yourself.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
How do I know if husband has stopped having affairs.
He can take a polygraph. His unwillingness to do so will answer your question.
What do i do . I want to focus on finding me. I want to focus on perusing my dreams and goal . But i stop dating but i turned int musturbation . when ever i i do it i always think of my x girl friend . but i do want to focus on my dreams without holding someone back. H ow do i stop musturbation?
If you haven't already, you can watch my CZcams video that has tips to stop masturbating: czcams.com/video/XUWmyvxWtQ8/video.html
Regarding this behavior, one of the best things you can do is to get accountability with someone and confide with them about this. That way they can encourage you and give you guidance as you work through this addictive behavior and move towards freedom and pursuing your life goals. This would be a person of the same gender that's honest and trustworthy like a counselor, coach, pastor, mentor, etc.
You can do this locally or contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 to get connected with one of our sexual recovery counselors and even one of our support groups. We don't get better just by ourselves.
You can also get the Final Freedom ebook and 101 Freedom Exercises that can educate you more on the matter and help you navigate a way forward.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/101-freedom-exercises-ebook/
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you very much DR i appreciate your help and i will just do what you have told me.
the names of the sites are not so encouraging need to rename them
Why does a sex addict rarely have a good sex life with their spouse? Why do they push away their spouse?
Addiction robs a person of emotional intimacy which is necessary for a great sex life. The book "Upgrade Your Sex Life" could be helpful.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/upgrade-your-sex-life-3/
I am so lonely
My partner is one
I am discombobulated
Your pain is valid. I would encourage you to find healing for yourself.
You can go to partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/ and find out more.
My husband is a porn addict. He needs counselling, but we have no money. It's damaging our relationship. Where can we go to look???
We have several free resources:
Our free app: www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/
Clean Class (free video series about staying sexually pure): www.drdougweiss.com/class/
Facebook group for Partners: www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/#womens_partner_of_sex_addicts_group
You can sign up for our the Heart to Heart Newsletter at the bottom of our web page on our website: www.drdougweiss.com/
You can also have your library order our books for you.
You could also seek out local SA type groups for your husband.
Accept my cordial love sir.How can i get proper treatment from Bangladesh????please help me....
the answer is inside of you
1-2-6
Tinder amplifies this to the extreme easy sex everywhere
@drdougweiss how about someone who exposes themselves in public or rapes someone. Is that part of sexual addiction or is that different?
These are both criminal acts. They might be influenced by an addiction but their treatment would be different, especially in the sexual assault situation.