r/Bestof My Cheating Friend is Ruining Our Lives!
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:11 Best friends divorce
7:16 The truth revealed
14:37 Top comment
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Alice lied to OP straight to her face about going on a “business trip” when it was pretty obvious she was lying about where she was going… I can almost guarantee this isn’t the first “business trip” she’s taken to see her ex/baby daddy, it goes further than those interns and random men imo. Ken deserves better
Well it is business just not the kind that's done unclothed.
oh, i'm sure she have legitimate business trips .....and she fucked people while in it
she is stupid in a deliberate way; that means she doesn't want to feel like she did something wrong so she duplicate her behavior
Yea. People like that are just stupid
I thought she at first was a workaholic. But when she was with those two young men was it for me. She was totally having affairs. Probably multiple affairs.
Plus she did all this while she was in the middle of a divorce, I think she been long cheating on Ken with her ex with triggered the divorce without Ken even knowing she was unfaithful. So their marriage was already spiraling down, adding infidelity with an abusive ex is just icing on the cake.
"He's changed! He's a different man!"
You know what? Don't save that woman anymore. Let her nuke her whole life again and deal with the consequences like "a big girl" that she is.
That's what she did, that was the last chance and then blocked her.
She's a lost cause.
For real. I just pray, pray, PRAY they don't wind up giving her already cast off daughter a sibling.
It's kinda frustrating that even in cases like this, you know she's still gonna get most of the custody if she tries
@@samuelchau9745 no she isn't. No judge in their right mind would side with her. Also, judges don't always give custody to the mother now a days, it's much better than it was and children are benefitting from going to the better parent.
I do believe it should've been a red flag for OP to hear her lack of "physical compassion" to a sudden turn around very quickly with strangers. It wasn't that she wasn't active, it would appear she wasn't active with her husband, the man who is doing everything in the relationship
Edit: glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that lol. Thanks for backing me up RSlash
remember folks, women in relationships are always fucking, and if it isn't their partner who they are fucking with, then... well, do the math.
I'm pretty sure the WAY BIGGER red flag is the daughter not wanting to go with the mom and instead go with her (adoptive) dad. Clearly the friend was not being involved in the daughter's life enough if she was so willing to cut her out. Especially since she's 12, an age where most girls are still actively seeking advice from their moms.
She'd been fooling around for far longer than the husband suspected. She's only sad that her actions finally have consequences and now she's out 1/2 her play money, visitation, and a free house servant
@@desperateneedofscotch Or men after they get tired of their wives acting like this one did.
Honestly that’s common with people having a mental break down and spiraling…
Was I the only one that got scared when I heard that she was meeting her ex after it stated her daughter was coming over. I was terrified she was gonna take her daughter with her without Ken’s knowledge
Good call. She wouldn't normally want to take their child. However, she was really unhinged and quite possibly had fantasies of a new family (with old flame) or revenge or "I'm in charge of the situation" - any excuse really. Good thing she was preoccupied.
I actually thought this too. It really drove it home when she said that he wanted to meet his daughter. I could totally see her trying to take her
Yeah, same anxiety came over me. I don’t want her daughter to get mixed up on that shitty life…and i hope as a mother she will think of her daughter first before exposing her to an abuser…
To be honestly, it really feels like she never loved Ken at all or even viewed him as her perfect husband, all he ever was to her was a tool to help her get back on her feet, get child support and money to eventually reunite with her ex, her real true love in this. Judging by the whole 'He's changed' bit, it feels like she's one of those women who thinks he's acted this way because the woman he cheated with made him this way and not that he was always this way because to her, he's not like that, not anymore because his mistress is finally out of his life and thus, is free from her.
The moment Alice started neglecting her family over her job and refused to change, there was really only one direction that story could go: downhill, all the way to the Earth's core.
And yes, she was totally cheating, long before the divorce. But even that doesn't compare to going back to the abusive ex.
I remember reading this story as it happened and the thing that always stood out to me was just 6 words.
'I didn't think he'd do it'
She has no remorse. she thought he was under her heel and she could treat him as she wanted. 'forgetting' about the vacation was intentional. She's only sorry he finally took that step to get rid of her
Let’s look at another facet. She never a kid by him in the decade they were together. I view this as part of the evidence. That she never loved him. He loved her, but to her he was a means to raise someone else’s child.
Yooo keen eyes there!! You’re so right!
🎯🎯 She never took that man seriously.
@@RobDaCajun so a woman has to give her man a child to show that she loves him?
Right? It's like saying "I am sorry you feel that way" or the long apology that just boils down to "I am sorry I got caught and I promise to not get caught again."
Big shout out to OP’s awesome hubby! After she cut her former friend out of her life, hubby just held her as she cried. No “told you so” or anything. Just loving support. So beautiful!
Really, we all need to be more like that. What does "I told you so" solve anyway?
@@LizLuvsCupcakesit’s not said to solve anything. It’s said to display the frustration that comes with predicting an outcome get the person refuses to listen to you.
Tbh i woulda said i told you so, when you repeatedly tell someone that something is bad for them and you show them proof, and you deliberately go behind their back to do what they told you not to do is pretty disrespectful. 🤷♂️
@@Miguel-sk5zs well RIP to you, OP's husband is cooler than you
Here’s a tip; winning without announcing you’ve won will ALWAYS make you cooler.
He was stressing me out at first when telling OP he couldn't see the friend at all. I'm glad he came through in the end, and I fully agree with your comment now that I have the full story.
I am proud of OP for finally cutting off the friend. I've had a toxic friend and I understand how hard it is to cut them off.
right? It took me years to cute my toxic friend off. It's so, so hard to do. But it's liberating once you actually do it.
@@vampirerose8411 Indeed
Same here!
Same. My ex friend was extremely toxic. She lied so much that I don't think she knew what truth was.
It’s like watching a pile up on the highway unfold; it’s tragic and horrifying, but you just can’t look away.
Exactly! 💯
Damn. Just damn.
For a second I thought it read pile of laundry lol
I was so confused
You said "pile up" & the 1st thing that popped into my mind was the opening scene in Final Destination 2. 😱😱😱
"You're like a car crash in slow motion. It's like I'm watchin' ya fly through a windshield." - Scout
Shoutout to Ken, the one ray of light in this shitshow. As bad as the situation is, that little girl is lucky to have a dad that has her best interest in mind. I hope Ken gets full custody
I just want to take a moment to give OP's husband props for not being like "I told you so" when OP finally cut this friend out of her life. It's easy to say "just block them" when you're on the outside looking in, but it's not so easy to cut off someone you have known and cared about for years. I 100% understand OP's desire to keep helping her friend, and I'm guessing her husband understood this too, given his supportive reaction when the other shoe dropped.
The immediate and entire panic that washed over my body when OP explained that her friend was packing fall clothes, and how strange it was, considering she was going to Dallas, but that she had a *Seattle* jersey in her bag...
Really thought this woman was about to kidnap her daughter and run away to who knows where,,, though running off to the abusive baby daddy is arguably *worse* its still absolutely terrifying???
nah, this woman clearly cares as much about her daughter as the bio dad.
I thought she was about to commit murder ngl
Idgaf that she ruined her own life. I am appalled at how she destroyed her child’s life without batting an eye! Her husband will eventually get over this but her daughter will be forever devastated by how her mom threw them away for her POS ex. I hope she is in therapy n will be okay. 🙏🏻🥺
Honestly I’ve seen it before where people act how OP acted. They don’t want to give up on their friend/family and want them to get back on the right track. I’m just glad OP snapped out of it and didn’t end up wasting a bunch of her time and energy in this process
I mean yeah. Not wasting time and energy is cool and all, but there's nothing wrong with trying to save somebody you care about. Am I really the ONLY PERSON who thinks she was in the right?
@@ReptillianStrike I definitely don’t think she was in the wrong. I’ve just seen good people pour their soul into people like OPs friend, just trying to help them and it ends up draining them because the friend is choosing the drag them along all while not changing. I’m just glad this didn’t happen to OP. She has a really good heart that shouldn’t be taken advantage of.
I've been that person trying to 'save' a toxic loved one. It took multiples outbursts and adult tantrums for me to accept that it's not my responsibility to love them into better people. We all want to stand by friends/family, pouring our heart and soul into loving them into better people. And it's a hard pill for everyone to swallow that sometimes, you can't save them and it'll only hurt yourself if you try
@@ReptillianStrikethank you! I was just thinking that, You don’t turn your back on your best friend during the hardest time of her life! You might not need to safe her like Op is doing, but blocking her? Everyone has messy moments in their lives…
I've tried to save a relationship before, for no other reason than "we've been friends for a long time". OP isn't in the wrong for doing that, since history is an important part of a relationship. She also wasn't in the right though.
Alright, can we give props to OP’s husband. He got mad when OP went with her friend the first time, said they would have problems if she did it again. She did it again, but it sounds like they talked about that trip extensively before it happened as he wasn’t mad when she got back and told him. He went investigative mode and figured things out.
Also, I hate that this is a low enough bar I have to point it out, He didn't say "I was right" after the Blow up over the Abusive Ex. The Guy really truly did not want to be right about the TNT rollercoster alice was on.
“He’s changed!” No he hasn’t and she knows it. She’s making blatantly stupid excuses because all she wants to do is go bang him. She’s a lost cause.
Some people are stupid
why doesn't she just go to a bar and find some random dude to bang like a normal person?
My guess is she loves the way he treated her and it turned her on more and more to the point she couldn’t resist it anymore
So, I can get OP wanting to help Alice and I can't entirely fault her for that. Alice became a disaster and everything fell apart, but I also can't *entirely* fault OP's husband because he must've seen that there was no helping her after the hot tub incident. Especially with the language she used for that conversation.
Finally THANK YOU. Rslash, the reddit comments, and most of the other comments have been shitting on OP. I felt like I was going insane being the only person who thought she wasn't wrong for trying to save Alice.
I understand she want to help her friend.
But I think OP just a bit "blind".
I'm going to be honest with you if any man if any person told me that I can't hang out with someone and then said if I did that we were going to have issues. I would tell him we already have issues. I am a grown ass woman and if I want to hang out with somebody I'm going to hang out with someone. Especially if that person isn't somebody you hadn't affair with previously or something like that. I have been with my partner for 4 years. We are engaged and I have never once. No matter how much I don't like his friend, Paul told him he can't hang out with him. I would never. Mind you. He came to his own conclusions on his own about how toxic his friend Paul was. But I would never issue an ultimatum like that. I think that's pretty toxic. She's allowed to want to help her friend. She's allowed to want to be there for her friend. Is it smart? Probably not. Is she going to help her? Probably not. But I understand the need to help. But no one issues an ultimatum to me without seeing My back.
@@ReigoVassal Agreed. It's hard for everyone of all ages to grasp the harsh reality that maybe their friend or parent or (insert loved one here) isn't a good person and that no matter the effort you put into them, they can't be saved
@@ahstiasummers5583 OP mentioning nothing but all the bad thing Alice did definitely not going to convince anyone.
Story 1: So…in…idk, 3-4 months, there’s going to be an update where Alice is BEGGING Ken for a 2nd chance and is asking Op to help her out…? We all understand that right?
Op i’m glad you got out before it got too bad, good luck with everything.
I have a feeling that si going to be sooner
Yep imagining Alice loses her job after the ordeal with the interns is found out. She has difficulty finding work especially work as good as she had. Abusive ex ghosts her since he likely wanted her back because of her money. Alice’s daughter wants nothing to do with her. OP ignores all correspondence. And Ken files a restraining order. This is what I think will happen in addition to what you say
If she's even capable of doing anything again (I.E. not abused to death)...
Not just the interns are found out, they're talking. Everyone in the company is trying to go on those, "business trips" with Alice. Alice will be humiliated and fired. Then, she'll come back to Ken with, "I'll do ANYTHING for a second chance. I've changed! I've always loved you and only you."
lets hope Ken NEVER gives her that chance because it will be way past second ...
That's such a tragic story. There's nothing Op could've done to save her self destructive friend, lest she gets dragged down with her. How sad. I hope Alice gets the help she needs.
Not always, but usually, a spouse (male or female) can see better than you when it comes to sparing you heartache in dealing with friends who are toxic. It's often because they are close to you but outside your friendship.
As for Alice, I can't say I feel bad for her. She's an adult and made life choices as an adult.
"He's changed! He's a different man!"
That's when you know she's a lost cause already.
Alice's company needs to know what she'd been doing with those interns.
I'm kind of curious whether she actually does have a job.. I mean, if she's taking so many trips out of town and potentially cheating on her husband during those trips, could she really be going on business trips that often?
@@undrhilShe is somehow making more money than Ken, so she has to have income coming in from somewhere.
Watch, she's secretly been a hooker this whole time.
@@undrhili think she is, that she is cheating doesn't mean she doesn't have a job, more likely she does have the business trips and those trips are actually shorter that she says they are, so she can travel and fuck with whoever she found and nobody suspect anything
If Alice is hooking up with interns, 9/10 she's hooking up with clients/potential clients too. Interns will talk to each other. It's only a matter of time before the rest of the company finds out. She'll be the laughing stock of tge company, then fired.
100%. How many other interns did she harass?
I don't know of a single abuser who "changed their ways". Ever.
You haven't heard of it before because it doesn't happen. People don't change. They can hide it for a while, but they don't change.
I don't believe people can't change- but if you hurt someone so bad like that and you really had changed? You would never try to be involved in their life again. You may apologize maybe, but I can't see anyone who was genuinely remorseful wanting to be close at all with someone they hurt to that extent. Bc if you were, you wouldn't trust yourself like that
@Fireguy97 People can change, believing otherwise is just objectively wrong
The first story doesn't make sense to me, he works from their home, and is available to look after their child 24-7 because of that, but yet he had to move out?
Ken, you SHOULD GET THE HOUSE
in some cases, it makes more sense for the husband to move out for the optics. 'she's in more need of it then you' and such.
in this case, it's not needed, but hey, try telling society that
It was probably easier. Her name is probably on the lease, and it clearly wasn't a mutual divorce. So if he had just I don't know, change the locks or something, She would have just called the police and got herself back in.
Easier to just leave and let the fall out take care of itself.
he did not 'have' to move out, he took himself out of the situation. he set up a house or apartment for him and his kid to live in while the 'mother' was away so as to cause as little friction as possible.
if he had stayed, there would have been a massive blowout argument with the kid watching on. she probably would have broken a bunch of his stuff.
hell, what quite often happens in theses situations is there will be a massive argument, the cops will get called (even if there is no violence) and the husband will get carted away to spend the night in a cell. by the time he gets back all of his shit is destroyed and he has an avo/family violence order against him.
people will say I am exaggerating etc, but I have seen it first hand multiple times. he did the smartest thing he could. lawyers will say you should stay in the house, but that's only true if your the woman. Its incredibly easy for a woman to destroy a mans life with just a few lies.
He probably will in the end, but short-term it's better to just move out. For personal safety. Alice doesn't exactly sound like the most stable person, and tradesman though he may be, an unhinged soon-to-be ex-wife with a kitchen knife can do a lot of damage.
100% her fault., not apologizing. Husband tried and alice was not having it. That whole thing with the hot tub, yeah not good.
It might have been actually a very good thing. The daughter got a glimpse of what her mother was like and has an example of how not to be now. Those are as important as good examples
For second I thought we're going see how OP fuck up but I am glad that didn't happen beside her trying to help her friend who clearly doesn't give an F about their life and what they had and willing to lose everything
Ok so let me get this straight if I heard all of this correct. Alice was prego years ago with her ex baby, the same ex who beat her, cheat on her while carrying, and kicked her out prego/after labor. The same ex who wanted nothing to do with his own daughter, the same ex who didnt pay a cent in child support, the same EX who never saw his daughter to this day. She married Ken, a nice, understanding, hardworking, independent guy who didnt need her money but wanted her commitment, loyalty, love. The same Ken who took her in and her child since she was 4 who is now a teenager, the same teenager who wanted nothing to do with deadbeat/absent daddy.
She took long work hours and ignored both her own daughter and husband in favor of her work and career, had men in her hot tube (legal she said), sent nasty personal text to him while shetface drunk. She chose her ex and career over the man who took her in, gave her everything a married woman wanted and more, cheated on him, and thinks she will win a custody case to take her daughter?
uhhh lady you are doomed to fail that battle. Lets review shall we.
-You obviously cheated on your husband
-You bought inters to your house and probably slept with them (you dont sleep with coworkers or inters period)
-You left your husband for a man who abused you all through out your pregancy.
-You refuse family bonding/time with both your husband and daughter.
-You sent such disgusting hateful text to your own husband.
-You was shetface drunk and it was YOUR day to take in your young daughter.
Ken's lawyer is gonna eat you alive in court in front of the judge with all that evidence.
i hope he take everything from her (the house, child support and full custody)
she DARE to say , "oh i work so hard" and "after everything i give him"
And the fact that the men in the hot tub were interns should be cause for Alice to lose her job. I hope Ken nukes her life and salts the ground afterwards
You took the words right out of my mouth
Honestly, I feel like all this time, she never viewed Ken as the perfect man for her, that's already taken by an abusive man whom all this time, but rather, she was taking advantage of him by using him for child support and to get enough money to go back to Seattle and be with her former lover once again, and once she's got enough money is when she can finally leave him behind and go out to what she's really after. There are people like this where they take advantage of loving caring people like Ken where the person never viewed that person as their true love, but rather, they're only dating them just to get what they really want out of them. It's sad.
Are we sure he was abusive and a cheater? Because based on Alice's current behavior, we know she's a liar, and cheaters always, ALWAYS accuse the other of cheating.
Let me open up saying that OP's husband in this post is the MVP! Not only does he have his bro's back during this entire thing but he advises his wife brilliantly which leads to her spotting out all these CRIMSON red flags that reveal her so-called friend for the nasty piece of work she is. As for the friend, I gotta say after being abused so much she should have gotten therapy BEFORE entering a new relationship. It would have helped prevent any of the insanity from happening in the first place. I don't put this out there often but I gotten therapy for emotional abuse from my own mother. Still, good on OP for coming to her senses.
First Story: Wow, this story is crazy. This is why time should be made to spend time with ur family or ur partner will begin to feel neglected and feel like they are checked out of the relationship. If I was OP I personally wouldn’t get involved in the drama because there is so much OP can do at this point. Yeah Alice is seriously destroying her life in the course of a Reddit post. Alice needs to seek help but I doubt she will go for it
Comment: I agree
You are correct, there is a first story.
@@siohunndairead it again
@@xKCAZxLEADER You edited it.
@@siohunndai Even still, "First Story" is still there
@@LucyAdroit After I commented.
That little girl is lucky to have Ken who loves her enough as his own to step up for her. OP's "friend" has been cheating this entire time and it's only coming to light cause her "friend's" behaviors are slowly coming to light for her. I hope Ken doesn't stop fighting for that little girl cause she deserves to know at least one of her parents hasn't failed her. As far as OP's concerned she needs to walk away from Alice. It doesn't matter what you think you know or knew of her. This is who she really is and if your not careful it'll start affecting your own relationship. Dear lord OP you went somewhere with this women with guys you don't know crap about and you want to wonder why your husband wants you to cut her out? She needs to be out if you want to save your marriage or stay married.
So that was her "business trips." Ken not only stepped up he's the only parent this little girl has now. Her POS donors can go play with each other til the cows come home. I hope that little girl grows and prosper to be her best self and tells her mom where to shove it when she comes crawling to her for support.
For the last story, when when we found out that the lady was packing up to go see her ex, and that her and the ex's daughter was visiting her when op left I thought she was going to try and kidnap the daughter. And the "he might want to see her one day" line made my heart race.
I'm really happy that her husband was so mature when she finally had the realization and didn't belittle her or anything. Especially with how angry he was with the situation and OP's friend. It's a short bar to hop to be respectful and caring for your partner when they mess up, but it's still lovely to see him be there for her
*Alice:* He says he's a changed man!
*OP:* OK, so what things has he done to prove that?
*Alice:* Uhhhhh...
Alice: He hasn’t hit me!
Op: … *facepalm*
This story gave me chills. I experienced a similar situation in my life over 25 years ago. No interns were harmed in the making of this story in my case, but damn, this hit close to home.
I was very worried when OP’s husband started in on OP at the end of part 1. If anything was going to cause a rift in OP’s marriage, it would have been that, not Alice “rubbing off” on her. I’m glad he reversed course on that and supported his wife trying to get her friend back, and was there for her when that inevitably failed to happen.
Literally. Everyone being like “good on OP’s husband for setting that boundary and getting mad when she broke it.” Ummm that boundary was forbidding OP from attempting to help her best friend. What kind of partner does that?
@@briannad9155When OPs husband can already see that Alice is fully engulfed in a self destructive dumpster fire... And knows that people like that don't like to go out on their own. People like that will drag others down to their level to justify what they are doing is "right" or "okay". The husband can see all of this and is trying to save his wife from all of that drama... Which if she gets involved in will cause their own marriage to fail.
If you could save someone from being dragged into a fire... Wouldn't you set a hard boundary?! It sounds like they discussed this issue and op went behind his back... Confirming his suspicions. Luckily op later realized that a "friend" like this will only drag her down with them and cut her off.
@@OldsmobileCutlass1969Va OP went to see their friend bc her husband said “if I see you see/try to help your friend, WE’RE gonna have a problem.” That’s not something you say to someone you care about. The only thing I comment OP’s husband for is doing the sleuthing and not being an asshole when his wife came to him after cutting contact. And wanting to help a friend who is gradually destroying their own life is different from stopping someone from running into a burning building then and there.
Story one: OP’s husband could be more chill and less ultimatum about it. He’s causing drama himself too. He was good in the end, though.
Friend is definitely spiraling. Drugs? Or just human train wreck?
Honestly, OPs husband is a saint. I would have really struggled to comfort someone who just insisted on having the blinkers on and followed their friend into a car crash like that.
It's honestly one of the worst things to see a "friend" just throw away everything you build up over time.. gut-wrenching. I'm glad OP's husband gave her time to understand the situation or the story would've turned much sadder.
Im glad OP eventually saw the flags and chose a carring husband over a friend who is absoltuly a two faced liar. The fact she had 2 interns in her hot tub that quick tells me shes probably well known for things that arent work on these trips.
A terrible woman that wveryone, including her own daughter, would be better off never seeing her again. I really hope her husband gets full custody and she gets nothing.
Best way to start the day! I love these one story episodes! Bet it will be amazing! Hope everyone has a great day!
💯 agree
It shows how much you care about her and it's always good to want to helps your friends, but the problem is you want to help your friend so much that you end up being disappointed when you can't help them, even when everyone tells you it was going to happen. I know a lot of people are upset over people not realizing she was a lost cause, but I've seen someone get hurt trying did save someone from themselves before, it's not always easy to give up on someone you deeply care about, sometimes the situation more complicated than that.
Literally. People are giving OP shit for god-forbid wanting to help her best friend see the light.
The ex gave up his parental rights when he allowed the husband to legally adopt her. So all he can claim now is that he’s the biological father only. Her ral Dad is her adoptive father who’s raised her. The mother won’t get anything including any type of custody by the courts.
Story 1: I agree with the husband. Best friends or not, when someone self-destructs and refuses any help or admits fault, STAY AWAY and support from afar but don't excuse or enable their shit. This isn't high school; the age of ride or die is gone. Blind loyalty is dangerous and foolish.
I've heard many stories from many channels similar to this. It happens on a daily basis much more around the world than anyone wants to think about. The one saving grace from this story over most others is that op didn't support her former friend who's the cheater, abuser and deadbeat. Men tend to help each other in such scenarios and women tend to help each other in such scenarios, no matter who's at fault.
"She needs friends right now" as she ruins everyone's life. I also love how this woman wouldn't listen to literally anyone until her friend lashed out at her.
before OP and Alice had that conversation, i can understand why OP would want to try and help Alice. Alice was her best friend for many years and OP thinks she just needs some support to get herself back on track (not excusing all of the horrible things Alice said to ken or defending the hot tub incident). It’s hard to accept that someone you’ve known for so long would change like that, so i don’t blame OP for trying to help initially
This made me reflect on my past on a person I use to know.
I remember being in OP's mindset and the denial. How it feels to break free yet feel so... sick... I can only guess it will take a long time for her to move on but I believe that she'll be able to recover and likely come out stronger.
Sending love to OP
Something else people forget...if she's sleeping with interns she's just begging for a lawsuit. And it sounds like it's her company...so she could easily be taken to the cleaners for that.
Nothing like throwing your marriage, your relationship with your child, and your career away.
Cheaters sicken me. I don’t care what the excuse is, it’s wrong.
Now, not defending or justifying Alice's actions at all, but the fact that she's reconnecting with her ex suggests trauma bond, which she refuses to acknowledge or treat, and is part of the reason why she's self-destructing.
That isn't how trauma bonding works.
Well I guess seeing how she’s “a big girl” it’s time to not only let her nuke her entire life, but let her deal with all the consequences that come with her actions. She’ll come crawling back to OP only to find OP isn’t there for her any more, and I’ve no doubt she’ll try and guilt trip her former friend. OP just needs to remind her “you said you’re a big girl, and big girls can deal with their ex husband, abandoned child, and abusive ex all on their own”
You can love your kids and still be a bad mother…OP needs a reality check
She got one and blocked the now ex friend. It's understandable to give some amount of leeway, a bit of valid suggestions to try and help. But she ultimately still put a line in the sand for what she was willing to tolerate before ending the friendship and returning to the baby daddy was it. Bridge burned.
OPs Husband is a TRUE man. Doesnt rub in that he knew where this would go, he just sat & consoled his wife
Sometimes a friend like Alice is a friendship worth giving up on, her toxic personality is the main reason why Op and her husband’s relationship almost went up in flames.
It's unfortunate that OP lost a friend, but it's for the best. Her friend is extremely far gone, there is no saving her.
Op has really good people in her life. I really hope she is able to keep those people in her life
At first the warning in the beginning made me think OP would destroy her own life too, I'm glad that wasn't the case.
OP is a good person, who cares about their friend.
At first I thought the friend and her hubby needed counselling. If she were a man it would be more socially accepted to be career driven and it wouldn't have been ok to hate on her for that. However, she and her partner did need counselling to adjust their priorities or at least talk about their issues.
But after that the friend really was an idiot, especially going back to that ex.
And I hope they can keep the daughter away from that clusterfrick. I'm so glad Ken is legally her father!
I hate for these people to go through such awful life events but I love to listen to these stories because it's a reminder for me to cherish my relationships. Like a story of caution
Personally I can't wait for the next update to this nuclear post. Rslash keep tabs on this post so that we can get the updates as they happens
This woman has gone full Mama June Shannon.
No remorse for her.
I can honestly say, though, that OP is an incredible friend.
Ken taking in his stepdaughter and caring for her with all his heart is just so beautiful
Ken you are good man and an awesome father! never let anyone tell you otherwise!!
This story was like watching a ball of snow fall down a hill. It keeps getting bigger and bigger, and you know that is going to explode when it reaches the bottom. And you can't do anything to stop it.
I feel so bad for OP. Honestly when listening to the story, I was on her and Alice's side, i thought OP's husband was being too mean. I just wanted Alice to get help bc she was obviously going through it.
Sadly though, some people just can't be saved. You can do all you can, but you can't make them make the right decisions; it's up to them alone. And not everyone will try to fix their lives once something's gone wrong. This whole thing's just really sad. Ken lost his wife, Alice is on a downward spiral, and OP lost her friend. And I just feel stupid bc it reminded me of how easy it is to manipulate/use me :/
woke up early today, and i always listen to r/slash when i eat breakfast. i had no idea what to do this morning. glad to have my morning “coffee” now 🤣
I’m doing the same rn
@@Ozzyboi1244 hope you have a good day!!
Alice is in critical need of therapy and major change, and might be beyond hope already. OP is a true friend, and a genuinely good person for trying so hard to help.
you can't help those who doesn't want it
@@dinlupus3196 sad but true. It's good of her to try though.
What i like about r/slash as opposed to other reddit story channels is how frustrated and emotive his voice is. Really helps me sympathise and become invested with the batshit stories he tells.
Though my neighbour's are probably tired of me periodically screaming out "Fucking idiot" at my screen.
"I got to together with him after Ken left me."
(X) Doubt
I have a feeling not all of those work trips were work trips. Maybe a few of them also were trips to "Dallas".
A friend of a friend once got back with her abusive baby daddy, and my friend said she talked a lot about "it's what I deserve" and "I have to finish what I started." Like she was punishing herself, or accepting a perceived lack of self-worth as fact. And that's not the first time I've run across that attitude. So I wonder if there might be two factors or two separate steps to this self-destruct.
I also disagree with the common attitude of "drop her like a hot potato." Definitely OP was enabling Alice originally, and then when she tries to actually help, and gets rebuffed, everyone goes into full shun mode. There's definitely a point where you have to accept that someone is beyond your help, and that trying to help them is dangerous to yourself, but _I don't see that in this story._ Not yet. Maybe I don't have the data that OP and her husband have, but it feels like something else I've witnessed multiple times: someone is having mental or emotional problems, and their friends or community or teammates just cut them off instead of trying to help them. Like healthy chickens exiling an injured one. Like animals. I hope I'm wrong about that. Maybe, like @thebladeofchaos said in a top comment, it's all in that sentence, "I didn't think he'd do it."
I think it might be better to maintain a lifeline in case the friend ever comes to their senses and needs to get out. Set up good boundaries on that, of course, but don't cut them off entirely, not until you're clear that they're a danger to you!
I'm so glad Ken adopted the girl. If not, she would be with her mom and possibly still abusive bio dad...
For a minute I was afraid the OP was going to throw her marriage away by supporting the friend behind the husband's back.
Last story: I can already hear OP’s friend say “he has changed, he hasn’t beat the ever loving crap out of me sense I left Seattle and him”
the question now for ops ex friend is when either her baby daddy abuses her again or when she starts getting out of her midlife crisis, who will she try to sucker into her pathetic life now that she destroyed her friendship with op
Actions speak louder than words
• Alice could have tried to fix their relationship; she didn’t
• Alice could have prioritized her daughter and taking her on the vacation; Alice didn’t
• Alice could have tried to talk to Ken about her work/life balance and find a solution; she didn’t
• After the break up, Alice could have tried to focus on bringing her family back together; she didn’t
• After the breakup, Alice could’ve tried to improve herself and refocus on being a good mom; she didn’t
• Alice could have talked to her loyal friend and be honest about talking to her abusive ex; she didn’t
There can be red flags in friendships too. And someone going behind their loyal friends back and reconnecting with their abusive ex, the same ex whom said friend saved them from and then lying about it for who knows how long. Yeah, that’s a massive red flag.
Side note: props to OP’s husband for comforting OP when the friendship ended and not rubbing it in her face how wrong she was about Alice.
Imagine someone abandoning, abusing kicking you out and literally wanting nothing to do with your child. How can anyone ever think Oh well those years didn't matter. He is changed now! I have always said, ALWAYS think would you want someone like this to date your child? If the answer is no then you deserve better too! Set the standard for your kids people this is not it.
I sure hope if Ken end up in a custody battle, that you'll speak up on his behalf and say what your ex-friend is doing. Court too often side with the deadbeat mom, no matter what they are doing.
I think OP did everything right trying to get her professional help but stopping after she realised that there was nothing she could do
Ya. I don’t know why people were giving OP shit for wanting to try and help their best friend. Are you just supposed to drop anyone you know who’s having a hard time and not making the best decisions?
Rslash. Wanting to save her friend is NOT like running into a burning building. It's literally no different than your friend being a drug addict and trying to get them professional help. Only not even as bad because she's not an addict. She's just making bad decisions.
I honestly do not understand why wanting to support her friend is such an awful thing here. It's beyond baffling why anybody would be giving her shit for it.
It's not an awful thing, it's incredibly dumb.
She doesn't want help, and that's the key thing
For a second I thought OP’s husband was going to divorce his wife because she was going to stand by her friend no matter what.
You know, I kind of love when you get after bad parents in these videos, because it shows just how much you care as a parent, and I feel like it proves you're a good dad
OP's husband deserves a medal, did everything he could and pulled it off.
Also sometimes people can't be helped because they won't or haven't faced the consequences of their actions. There's just no helping them until they do.
I had this happened last month. This was a course of a year and a half. I had a friend who was in a narcissistic abusive relationship with her partner. Her partner hated me. Don't know why, and I don't care. Long story short, she left her partner to be with her kids. During those horrible months, she kept in touch with her at the time ex partner. In late February, her then ex partner went to get her and took her back regardless of my protest. She's now jobless and homeless. And being a trash human being. I feel for op here.?
I think Alice's friend did nothing wrong. People who are making bad and hurtful decisions need good friends too, even when they don't deserve them. I might make the same decision as she did and stick with an old friend over the husband that did the right thing, because virtue-signaling by joining everyone else in ostracizing someone who did something terrible is less important to me than being there to help them in their struggle. Doesn't mean I wouldn't tell her I thought her actions were wrong, of course. And that OP is also not wrong to throw in the towel when she found out something that crossed a line for her personally.
At the beginning, I thought ken was just being selfish and he's the problem. Boy was I wrong. Hope ken files a retaining order on the dead beat dad and Alice if they tries to get near the daughter
well, we see the things from OP's perspective, i thought that at first too, guess OP though he was the problem but she was to polite to explicite say it.
at least she realize how toxic and selfish her ex-friend really is
The last story: WHAT HAS CHANGED? HIS WIFE-BEATING COMBOS?!
It sucks for OP, but its for the best that OP no longer contacts that friend
The story is very tragic. Also very relatable. I had a friend who just he never had a good position. He’s never been in a good position and he doesn’t want to change. I’ve tried for a decade to help him, and he just doesn’t want to be better and I had to learn that I couldn’t help him and unfortunately that’s the same lesson OP learned
I hope that everyone is having a good Thursday!
I am. I Hope you are too
I'm having a great Thursday! I hope you're having an amazing one as well!
you too!!
Thanks I am :3
that poor kid. i hope OP stays friends with Ken and the daughter. they really need each other right now as their lives have really imploded b/c of one person. damn.
It’s not having the time to call when you’re on multiple weeks-long work trips throughout the year that cinched it to me. There’s no excuse for not calling your husband, *not calling your daughter,* when you’re away for extended periods of time.
When my dad would have the rare week-long trip growing up, we always called and said goodnight, every night. It was as important to him as it was to us to be able to see each other.
So no surprise that the daughter doesn’t want to be with Alice. Seems like Alice doesn’t want to be with her family 🤷♂️
(writing this as of 4:49, more details might change this comment? Haha, nope, totally on brand for her)
I have never been so disappointed in a complete stranger than I am in Alice. What a joke of a person.
Never get sucked into friend’s marital problems. It’s contagious.
It's like a train that wrecked into an already existing train wreck and they both caught fire AND spilled oil everywhere around it..... a MASSIVE fuck-up.
I used to tell my ex when he'd ask me to take him back: "I don't do repeat performances. If I'm going to screw up I'm going to screw up in new and exciting ways. "
> I'm not excusing her behavior
Goes on to do just that lmao.
> They were legal
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 You can't make this stuff up!
Alice story: Never jump in to save a panicked drowning person; throw them a life saver bc if you jump in, they will likely drown you too.
Always a good time when rslash posts
The truth revealed story - of that woman and her abusive ex stand together in court and put up a decent front, she can absolutely get custody of her kid. She’s probably wanting to avoid child support and all the other stuff that her second ex is going to try and sue her for.....
I wish her second ex all the best of luck, but I don’t think he will win anything.
Nah, that first woman needs to lose custody until she gets cleaned up. That's not okay.
Yo, Ken needs to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Like, file for sole custody, take out a restraining order against the baby daddy and Alice. If this woman is that self destructive and selfish, that kid needs to be protected at all costs. And if OP has any love for whoever Alice used to be, she will do whatever it takes to protect her kid from her current self. Like, go side with Ken and hand over any evidence she may have
Remember the Jerry Springer show? It felt like that but on steroids!! Like she was determined to burn her life to the ground! Hopefully Ken gets full custody.
I do understand where OP is coming from in terms of wanting to stick around a bit. I’ve been in a similar situation where all my friends left one persons circle and while I saw all the red flags, I just had to stick it out for that friendship and try and convince that person that what they were doing was wrong and upsetting. It didn’t work in the end and it’s one of those things where I should have just left when everyone else did, but with both a cost sunk fallacy into the relationship and making sure I wasn’t just following the mass, it’s just something you sometimes have to experience yourself. And I’m glad OPs husband was supporting her afterwards as it’s easier to see these things from more the outside