11 Ways you are trying to be special | HealingFa.com

In this video, I will talk about 11 ways you are trying to be special. There are a lot of messages out there, that you need to be special. But trying to be special can have a lot of negative effects and influence on your life, and it can really stand in the way of your healing.
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--- Contents --
00:00 Intro
01:20 Suffering in a special way
02:20 Why do I want to be special?
04:55 Physical suffering
05:50 Getting empathy
07:17 Doing things the difficult way
09:00 Having a hard life
10:04 Outro
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Video Title: Ways you are trying to be special
This video is about: Ways you are trying to be special, but It also covers the following topics:
Being special
Empathy
Fearful avoidant attachment style
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✅ About Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant.
The way you feel right now is not the way you are. If you want more freedom, calm, love, and peace in your head, body, and life, it is possible. You are not too broken.
‌After spending 14 years healing the fearful avoidant attachment style, I am beyond passionate and dedicated to getting you to where I am now: living a life true to myself, waking up feeling rested and peaceful. Deeply in love with my husband and looking forward to the future. This is what life is supposed to be like, and it is my honor to help you get there.
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In the past 7 years, I have guided over 2000 people through my Dutch programs (I am from the Netherlands), to a secure attachment and happy relationship. Over the past year and a half, another 150 beautiful people have been through the English program Healed&Happy. I love seeing how lives can change within three months, and how NORMAL it can feel to have a secure attachment. I wish you so much joy, pleasure, and love.
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© Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant

[@Nipponsuki]

For me I think its more wanting to feel important to someone than special, wanting to feel like you matter to them.

[@Ksiuiu]

Wow Paulien! Never realized this about myself even though I did a lot of self work

[@carolinecatona8728]

I realize that after listening to this, I have been doing this at work. I wanted to feel special. But often, I noticed it was wasted energy. I didn't get that outcome all the time

[@melissabailey1370]

This one really hits home for me. At work I have to do everything differently then everyone else and overachieve just to stand out so that I can feel like I’m valuable! Something I will have to think about! Absolutely one of my biggest issues in my current and previous relationships my thought is if I’m not special then im just like everyone else and that will make it easy for you to abandon me. I have worked hard on my abandonment issues since realizing im FA but that need to feel special goes so deep it’s almost scary and I can’t think about it without out crying the thought of giving up that want to feel special. Thank you for this video ❤

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Oh yes this need does go really deep doesn't it? What can help is just asking your fearbrain what the worst is that can happen when you let it go. So allow yourself to hold on to it as long as you want or need to (because it's not wrong, it's totally logical and you are allowed to hold on to anything as long as you want), and then ask what IF I would let it go, why is that so scary?

[@melissabailey1370]

@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 honestly I feel like it’s one of my deepest core wounds but I feel it goes right with my need to feel important and the feeling of not ever being good enough I feel like they all combined into different ways I need to feel special. I know a big part of it is I always have this feeling of being lost I wish I could explain it better but I just have this constant feeling of wanting to be found so that part of me that feels so empty can just feel like it’s filled! Because maybe if I find that missing piece I won’t feel lost and when I feel like I’m important for something or someone in that moment I feel I have purpose I have reason I’m needed for something or important to someone and I forget that I feel lost until the day just doesn’t go the way I planned and my fear brain takes over and says this is real life Melissa get it together they are only using you or this person is way to good for me and when they see that it’s going to hurt me so much when they leave me and that feeling of being lost comes back and so does the empty feeling so when I feel important or special that feeling goes away but I also set myself up for the days ahead where I will sabotage myself into an extreme amount of emotional pain. If there is any way you can make a video on feeling lost or empty I would so appreciate it because your videos are one of the things that have helped me the most in my journey and I thank you so much for your response and I will definitely be working on this and rewatching this video a few times to really help myself understand more!

[@Muse720]

Time to revisit this module in the program! I know I still hold onto this…

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Yes, every time you revisit this you will let go of another layer and regain more freedom :)

[@dianebonner7857]

Wow. Came at a perfect time.

[@maxw5900]

Wonderful

[@erfanghasemipour880]

Would you please talk abou the constant guilt we feel after making a defensive, emotion-based decision?

[@littledevil8146]

Very interesting!
This video made me understand about myself a lot.
I very very want to be special.
I noticed that I sabotage my healing too... I guess I'm afraid to have secure relationship with my FA. They do work on themselfs, but I keep creating chaos. I give them a lot of love, then pick fights, then disappear for a while sometimes. (I know it's bad)
I'm afraid if I become secure I will be boring for them... That's what I really really afraid - to be that one person that you should be with but don't want to..

[@blackeneddove]

Ooh! I think maybe I might have this subconsciously as well! But I also think I over analyze things (especially myself) but things in general which makes me too serious and boring. I don’t want to be that way and I don’t really know how to fix it. 😥

[@jellyrcw12]

Your videos are always so relevant. I've come along way but I like to watch content like this to keep it fresh ❤

[@moulee7448]

❤

[@styleandglam7656]

9:36 im currently working on healing and i do have an ed and even though i want to get better i don't wanna let go that part of me because that what's makes me Me and i know that's not true but its scary to think of myself without my ed lol

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Totally understand this. You can hold on as long as YOU want, you are not wrong for feeling this way and not wanting to let go.

[@styleandglam7656]

@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 thank youu❤️

[@evadebruijn]

❤️🙏🍀✌️