Guess Who's Comey To Dinner?
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2017
- Stephen might have mentioned the biggest congressional testimony of the century once or twice in Thursday's monologue.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
I almost feel bad for Comey. Not only did he have to meet with Trump, he documented his meetings with Trump. if I ever met Trump I'd want to burn it out of my memory as soon as possible.
Agreed!!! I'd need to bleach my brain and rip my eyeballs out...
ok?
How do you write such great comments!
burned inside and outside???
Must be traumatic for Comey
"Okay but her emails."
"Senator, this is a hearing."
"But her emails."
"We're talking about Trump, Senator."
"Her emails though."
shingshongshamalama That didn't happen though, did it.
Sate Anne they did bring up the Clinton emails 3 times
Isabella Bornberg Wow. Three times in however many hours. I watched it and she certainly wasn't the focus.
Who'd of thought they would bring up the Clinton emails during a hearing involving James Comey? Former head of the FBI that was in charge of an institution investigating her emails.
Seriously guys, we know you don't like Trump but use your brains please.
Sate Anne ikr, that literally has nothing to do with this hearing besides that she got screwed out of the job. Thats it, literally
McCain trying to equate Hillary and Russia is like if I got robbed, called the police, and then became a suspect because I was present during the robbery
NuclearSharpShooter Exactly
NuclearSharpShooter dying with laughter
nailed it
what a nice analogy! I was very confused when McCain said that and questioned my understanding ability for a sec, then realized it's not me it's him lol
NuclearSharpShooter I thought the same thing. Both investigations can't be compared. They were different.
9:29
If I was James Comey, I would've said, "Sir, with all due respect, what the f#!k are you talking about?"
Br L well that's why you are not in his position :P
Well then it's a good thing he said "if", isn't it?
Br L Nice Burn After Reading reference
I'd say he pretty much did that, just with a smidgen more diplomacy :D
How about "James and the Giant Impeachment."
Danny Hughes gold.
Danny Hughes epic
you should be one of Colbert's writers!
HahahahahahahahHahahahhahaha.......Brilliant.
Yeah his impeach proof.....immune to impeachment....no.matter what he does. Well done.
I facepalmed so hard at Mccain.
He is just a little old and probably going senile instead of punching him just offer him a seat on the recliner by the TV and a warm blanket.
Me too !! My head still hurt ! So stupid ! Hillary is gone !!!
Happy St. Comey's Day!🎊 🤗🎊
president pence should make the day an officially recognized day
Did anyone else watch the hearing and hear McCain say "President Comey"?
He did it twice. By the second time, Comey was holding his hands up like, "Please no, it makes my skin crawl when you do that."
Kathryn Stull I only caught one. McCain is starting to go...
Gauge Wiley I heard that and I thought I was having a stroke
YF Zhang It'd be nice though, wouldn't it? At least we know he's at least some what honest and impartial.
Telma Elma Um...okay? So he's a cashier now?
Did McCain have a stroke or something?
Tyler I think he claimed watching late night baseball. Idk if that's code or not lol
Tyler - stroke was what I thought as well. So many mistakes of fact and lack of logic. He's relatively decent but .......
I have served honorably in the military, in both Iraq and Afghanistan, and I'm now serving our military as a civilian in Afghanistan (for the last 8 years). There is a 98% chance (I'm a "2 percenter") that I pay more taxes in a year than you have in the last decade. Don't talk to me about contributing. I'm also a Millennial. So fuck off with that bullshit. (BTW: Almost everyone in our military is a Millennial or younger. Millennials are the ones dying for the decisions of the politicians you voted into office, how about a little fucking respect?)
With that being said, while I respect what McCain has done to serve his country.....it's time for his old senile ass to step down and let someone with a sharp mind represent his people. (I'm not saying it should be a Democrat or Republican. I'm just saying we don't need geriatrics writing up our country's laws and making policy.)
Also, if it weren't for Millennials (and the other younger generations) paying taxes the Social Security program would have collapsed and millions of baby-boomers, who were too retarded to save up for retirement, would be on the streets. Baby-boomers are a burden to society at this point. You contribute nothing and only take. You are, and always have been, an extremely selfish and arrogant generation. Go fuck yourself.
He's starting to talk the same way Trump talks.
Susan Rhodes i hope your life is great and that everyone admires how loving you are.
This testimony provided no juicy detail but a continuous grilling of one sentence "can't talk about this in open setting". But I'm happy atleast he confirmed that trump is (pathological) liar.
Sad thing is GOP is still defending him saying he's new to this job.. well if you don't know how to do your job please resign. plain and simple
zach miller say that thing with some maps, pictures and repeat his name again and again. may be magic will happen and he will resign
The GOP continues furiously gaslighting everyone and insisting the sky is pink and the actions of the president are not absolutely unprecedented.
They may as well had said, "He's new to his job, so it's okay for him to constantly lie, and try to coerce people. It's fine." Most of The GOP are crooks. Lock them up!
The Comey testimony has already proven to the world that Trump is as bad (and probably worse) than Nixon.
Trump asking Comey to stop investigating Flynn, and to clear the "Russian cloud" is obstruction of justice - and I think it's certain Trump isn't going to last the remainder of his term before he gets impeached.
That's the trap Putin wants us all to fall into. To fracture the US political system in a partisan way and divide the populace along party lines. There are shitty people in government, all across the map, and they all need to be called out, singled out, and shoved out on their asses.
JAMES AND THE GUILTY ORANGE STEPHEN???
HOW DID YOU MISS "JAMES AND THE GIANT IMPEACH?"
Nice. (Stop using capitals though, you don't need them.)
J. Vonhögen Great advice thanks friend. :^)
Craig Sherratt, YOU'RE WELCOME!
;-)
Craig Sherratt LOL!!!!
He might hold on to that joke for later.
Glad to know I wasn't the only one confused what Cain was trying to say. His logic lost me.
"logic"
Alphasnowbordergirl I don't know it's kind of sad. and didn't he just get reelected?
And remember James Comey needed to renounce on a date with his wife in order to meet our first orange
Darth Revan SAD!
Darth Revan so did the Donald... oh wait no😂
Darth Revan rookie mistake. u never side with anyone over your wife. I bet she won't let him forget that one for years. "oh yeah? well you wouldn't be working graveyard security IF YOU HAD GONE TO DINNER WITH ME would you?"
Aren't you the one doing that? lol
He sounds like a decent guy. FBI's reins couldn't have been in the hands of a better person.
Comey: He's guilty
Democrats: He's guilty
Trump: I'm guilty
Republicans: we may never get to the bottom of this
lmao
wait, wut? He's not under investigation at all by the FBI.
Yeah, it's not like Trump ever said anything to incriminate himself, oh wait...he did, on multiple occasions... But fake news, am I right??? 😂
True. So true. LOL
Nope, the repubs are saying comey hearing EXONERATED trump
The McCain part of the testimony was cringeworthy....
He has dementia.
I generally enjoy hearing McCains input regardless of my political agreement or disagreement, so during the hearing I was most looking forward to his series of questions... but that was just weird. It half seemed he wasn't paying attention the entire time, and half briefed that the hearing was about something else. i assume he wanted to pull focus as to how Russia affected both parties of the election so that the media wouldn't dogpile the republicans.... but ya.... what we got was just vomit of words like these sentences
ProjectPT: Same here. I had to do a double-take. People were wondering if he had a stroke all of a sudden. His twitter feed was full of people asking him to go see a doctor because... yeah. That was not like him at all.
McCain made Sarah Palin seem almost coherent by comparison.
He's got covfefed
Despite Comey's negative tesfefe...
Oh, Stephen, I can't get through this next 3.5 years without you so #nomorevacaforyou!
I think John McCain has lost his mind. Couldn't quite understand what he was trying to get at.
Stephen Campbell Sarah Palin infected him with her mind-altering brain worms
After McCain was done talking I peed in my pants 🤔🤤
McCain is getting old, and likely has dementia or some sort of degenerative brain disorder. Which is a shame, since he's one of the few bright minds in the Republican party.
Don't bother, he is totally nuts.
I think him going at the end of the session might have contributed at bit. He seemed to just be confusing the names but then it seemed to be getting into a little confabulation. He at least seemed to have an original line of questioning trying to assert the implication that if evidence shows Russian interference (especially if Russia's motive is in part suspected to be to simply undermine / demean America) then their should be equal cause for suspicion of collusion of both presidential campaigns.
What made that point really derail though was that Comey had been testifying all morning about how there was actually never an investigation of Trump.
So I dunno if McCain just wasn't paying attention all morning and just went with some previously planned questioning, or if he was confused, or maybe he was just trying to make some indictment of the medias narrative and hamfisted it badly lol.
Finally! Uncut monologue
Bramy Bian IM SO GLAD
I have something else that is uncut
Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah keep me sane during these mad times.
If no one has said it yet allow me.
"Comey Comey Comey Comeleon"
You come and go
Robert Lunarr hahahaha
The1Thinker Every day is like survival, will you swear upon the bible.
Robert Lunarr U.K.
LOVING IS EASY WHEN YOUR REPORTS INDITE OFFICALS,
YOU COME AND GO,
YOU COME AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It seems like Senator McCain was having around four or five different thoughts, at the same time, all coming out into that big pile of incoherent rabble. I watched the hearing bewildered and remember hoping, before hand, that McCain would deliver some damning leading questions for Comey to bury Trump, but instead he gave that stroked out mess.
Damn it, McCain! Ya had one job! ONE fucking job!
Better than soap opera
Hina Yasin so much better.
Hina Yasin so when do we get to the part where we find out Trump is pregnant and Sarah Palin is the father but has amnesia?
Will that be before or after we find out that Hillary Clinton was never real, but was actually a delusion of an e-mail server that was having a love affair with Alex Jones?
You got me at Lies Plain and Simple
Sarah huckabee says I can say he's not a liar while laughing... does she believe herself?
"I can definitively say the President is not a liar" but not without laughing mid-sentence.
Senator McCain needs to retire asap.
608pinkgirl seriously whatever he said made no sense
It seems by his questions that John McCain should have retired by now
Dude is ripe for the fuckin retirement home, that much is clear
leon darcy I'd agree except, sadly, he's still better than most of the rest of them. Ugh!!!
niggasjit
Trump for Prison.
McCain for the Sunnyview Home for the Terminally Bewildered.
leon darcy u R Xi
Sarah Palin wrote McCain's questions/statement
I am referring to John McCain's questioning.......too old and confused, time to retire McCain. Comey is confused about McCain's confusion!
Well, Trump has said it was Comey who made the call, but it is easy to find who made the telephone call. Actually this will serve as additional evidence to know who is telling the truth.
Can we talk about how Sen. Risch sounded like a lawyer defending an obviously guilty client in a courtroom? It was so funny, him trying to twist and mince Trump's exact words. There is a thing called SUBTEXT for fuck's sake! LMAO
The whole meeting was them repeating the same questions and getting the same 0 sum answer.
YES, was beyond irritated. Well "i hope" can mean something else...really?!
Absolutely disgusting how republicans are blind and deaf to all this.
Yeah... Honestly, I was thinking of Thomas A Beckett before they even mentioned him at the hearing after Comey went over the meeting.
But... I think that's what this whole thing is going to hang on, those two words: "I hope..." If that's what he said (which he probably did, since I'm more inclined to believe Comey than Trump) does that necessarily constitute obstruction of justice?
Well...what does anyone else's boss mean by "I hope you do X"? More often than not, it's not a direct order, but it is definitely a tangible expectation. Orange Hitler may not have ordered Comey to drop the investigation, but he definitely expected him to, and by firing him for non-compliance, that was clearly obstructing justice.
People are always pissed with the hitler comparison to trump- gets my head scratching. Yes he did horrendous evil things that thankfully, I doubt would ever happen in the US. BUT, Hitler didn't create concentration camps overnight. He spewed hate for years before it came to that end. People who ignore how a hateful leader RISES to power in the first place needs to go back to high school and brush up on history. Trump isn't a one to one replica of hitler but there are for sure as hell are similarities that you cannot ignore. If you do, well...that is how hitler got away with everything in the first place...people's indifference and ignorance.
you know it's fucked up when the sentences "it's not something I can say in an open setting" and "it'll be on the closed hearing" are repeated more times than you can keep count
Camila Stefanie Would have been a GREAT drinking game. ;-)
Cuz they him and trump were talking about aliens and stuff
"I'm very confused.." "Not as much as he is.." DAYUM!
That didn’t age well considering his manner of death
To think McCain almost ran the country lmao
Well if he got lucky he would've been done serving anyway.
Pork fried rice Jesus Christ 😷
we have someone worse 🤔
Knightx392 you mean had someone worse.
Just responding because there are no more recent replies pointing out the obvious... but McCain was diagnosed with his brain cancer shortly after this.
Oh my god, Palin is contagious, quarantine McCain and Alaska.
“Thank you for this lovely dinner, Mr. President. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a shower that makes the one in _Silkwood_ look like an afternoon at a fucking day spa.”
- _James B. Comey, FBI Director, January 27, 2017_
👏👏👏
*SLOW CLAPS...................................*
Damn that's like an Armando Iannucci line.
John Lennon Jr Did Trump win an impeachment or an indictment?
fidorover lol
I love you Stephen! Thanks for bringing such humour and sanity to the end of my day! "Lies, Plain and Simple". LoL!!
I can never get enough Stephen.
Is Trump really the one with WWE cred? Because Comey just knocked him the fuck out.
Your comments are so lame, dude.
God Likes Porn with Ben the Demon LOOOL tko tko tko
Anyone want some chicken nuggets?
#ComeyVSCombover
Ebony Hagans-Greene lmao i would watch that shit
McCain has gone Covfefe on us.
Yovani Rodriguez What was McCain's question anyway?? 🤔
thumb up for Monty Python. hahaha
Mike Stromecki Sadly seems like the reference went over the heads of most of the audience.
God I love Stephen.
Rise my fellow EU commenters, good morning my friends :)
MrBloodbunny likewise! Have a good day!
MrBloodbunny well, not EU but, Good morning!
MrBloodbunny good morning :)
@Claystead
I think the majority here won't get the references. Also yes, France is always blobbing, but this time the HRE is on the way to ressurection, so chances are that France will be out-blobbed soon!
It's been a very long time since I last saw a reference like that ^^
I'm currently 13 hours ahead, so I stayed up late just to watch the hearing. Then kept refreshing, waiting for the monologue. This was funny as expected. Where would I get the news without you Stephen.
Alphasnowbordergirl not from the news
Hillary turned me into a newt.
New Message A newt?
Well, I got better...
We need to weigh her and see if she is the same weight as a duck.
Stephen you brought it...love this monologue.
McCain clearly skipped breakfast, lol.
I thought John McCain was senile when I watched his line of questioning today.
I love Baptiste's under the radar quotes of all these jazz standards, it's really cool to hear him start to play Jobim's "Waves" at 6:42! In other segments you can hear him quote Ellington's arrangements of "Take the A-Train" and "In a Sentimental Mood." They're simple and he does them at times when the audience is really quiet, but it's a lot of fun for the jazz connoisseurs to hear!
One monologue video again!
I forgive you for yesterday's two monologues, two videos.
McCain's....uh....question? was the best example of "wow you've really lost the plot on this one" that I've ever fucking seen I'm crying laughing
JAMES AND THE GIANT IMPEACH
HOW COULD THEY MISS THAT
(saw this on twitter, credits to the original poster)
Amon Sohail !
respect for giving credit where it is due .. good on you more people should ☺
Even if he gets impeached he doesn't have to step down. Remember clinton got impeached.
Capt Obvious no they tried to impeach Clinton it didn't stick tho
Capt Obvious What? What's the point of impeachment then?
2:40 one of the greatests moments in cinema. Thank you.
Thank you, Stephen;)
waited all day for this
Now you have to wait until Tuesday morning for the next dose of Colbert
You two could make some gorgeous beige babies..
Habiba KB qq
Habiba KB nothing really came about this hearing. it actually helped Trump more than anything
Joe Brashear No. Just because it's not exciting or dramatic doesn't mean nothing came out of it. Trump was obstructing justice like a mafia don trying to bribe a police chief. People with attention spans more than 10 seconds will take note.
The names Comey. James Comey.
Daniel Arul ,Sir you win the internet today!
Truly amazing!! Compare the direct, blunt and specific answers given by Comey to the indirect, "lack of recall" and non-committal answers provided by Jeff Sessions!
Whether you like Comey's answers or not, you must admit that it is/was refreshing that he simply ANSWERED the questions!
With this in mind, I am still left wondering why Jeff Sessions even showed up for his hearing! It would have been much easier and saved a lot of people a lot of (wasted) time, if Sessions had simply responded - by not responding or not recalling most things - in writing to the questions.
That BONNNGGGGG after the "I'm not a crook" was PERFECT, Jon. HAHAHAHA!
I really love this video. So sharp. Brings me such joy.
#MakeImpeachmentGreatAgain
ChaosZero ノブ Constantly.
ChaosZero ノブ... Hey any evidence of conclusion yet? Haha, you sheep believe everything the elite owned media tells you huh? Dummy lol.
Conclusion? I hereby conclude that you're a fucking idiot.
Good Luck And I take it you have some evidence that thoroughly refutes the combined hundreds of thousands of hours of journalistic Investigations?
Mccain's questions were facepalm worthy.
I love Stephen's miming! Always hilarious!
Thanks The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.:)
Somebody really should treat McCain for that stroke he had during the hearing.
He was diagnosed with his fatal brain tumor shortly after this.
(I wouldn't have bothered responding 5 years later, but this was still showing as the top comment for me with no replies about the real cause.)
@@jacobjohnson8686 I was only half joking at the time. I really did wonder if he had a stroke in that moment because that is exactly how people talk when they do. But yea, brain tumors as well.
Oh Comey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey COMEY! HEY HEY HEY COMEY!
Nice2347 😂😂🙏🏻
Comey gave Sen. John McCain the the kid glove treatment ! Respect your elders & those who have served your country !
That law firm joke and picture was brilliant and savagely accurate.
Jon Baptiste's smile was kinda cute
With the "never looks above her neck" joke
Bird of Paradise u!!
Bird of Paradise only on a libtard-infested video would one come across such a shallow and inane comment. #MAGA
1:13 LOL it's exactly like that tall-guy-joke from the Naked Gun movie
This is by far, the best talk show monologue i have ever watched, this is just my opinion though, it just made me laugh so freaking bad with every line it had.
Joseph Kesar ....shut yo dumb ass up!
Clorox bleach okay :(
I fucking love Stephen Colbert so much. He's brutally hilarious and makes no apologies.
Monthy Phyton classic!
Ha Ha, all of this would have been very funny, if this wasn't reality.
this is what happens when you elect a reality TV star... the reality becomes a fantasy.
Terry Gibson
Did you watch any of this video ? How blatantly ignorant are you ?
Terry Gibson Wanna take a chill pill, or get your head out of your ass?
then again, it's pretty much reality TV for the rest of the world, thus: FUNNY! :D
This sounds like it could be some cool lyrics in like a deep, political hip hop song lol
During his campaign for president, Trump said he would make America "respected".
He didn't.
Best regards from Sweden
>Sweden
Thanks for the laugh.
MrVaiioo we don't need respect from people who can't protect their women against Muslims for rape go respect Sanders and Liberals
Like Sweden is respected? Hahaha.
He is respected by real leaders, not the ones sucking off Muslims
J P77 Really? Which ones?
"Not as much as he is" perfect joke!!! lmao
I was more excited for your reaction to the comey testimony than the actual testimony itself !
😂 love you stephen Colbert
That McCain thing.. I now understand why he chose her as his running mate. :O|-
I was watching that live, and when McCain was asking his questions I started to wonder if I'd accidentally turned on The Office.
3:25 OMG I'M DYING hahahahahaha
LIES, PLAIN
& SIMPLE
Attorneys At Law
All joking aside, was McCain alright during his questioning? With all due respect, he really isn't the kind of person a reasonable politician would want backing them.
Fortunately Trump is neither of those things.
MadAsTheHatters Yeah, I hope he's OK.
MadAsTheHatters I thought the same thing! I wonder if the pressure coming from his party is getting to him. The red team's main talking point is "What about Hillary losing/Benghazi/Emails?!" The deflection approach did not work at all in this case. Does McCain think that she conspired with the Russians to lose the campaign? Poor Guy!
MadAsTheHatters dementia is a possibility
I
john mccain fell down amd cant get back up smh that was a mess
"The only way there could be less fuzz on that is if the Brazilians hacked us."
FUCKIN GOLD 😂😂😂
No Doubt was my favorite band and I was so sad when they broke up. I mean I still use the chorus of Spiderwebs as an answering machine. Gwen Stefani just didnt feel the same as an individual artist...
....wait what was the question again?
_Literally_ what I thought!
St. Comey Day:):)
Lies, Plain & Simple: are those aliases?
Donald Trump -> Lies
Donald jr Trump -> Plain
Eric Trump -> Simple
😂😂
kw maybe they are secret service code names.
I love your monologues :)
0:47 ''And now !'' Haha that was spot on !
been waiting for this even as the testimony was airing
McCain was a mess
Yes! The synergy of Monty Python and Stephen Colbert
3:17 "...those were lies, plain and simple."
"That would be a good name for a Trump family law firm... Lies, Plain & Simple."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG that's HYSTERICAL! Trump lies, Jr. is plain & Eric is "simple". PURE GENIUS!!!!
I like how they used Alan Parsons music in here :)
Bro, you GOOD!
Just 1 more reason why I 💕 Stephen Colbert. Was so sad when Stranger's with Candy ended.
It sounded like McCain was channeling Palin when he was asking gibberish "fake news" questions.
oh McCain.
"I can definitively say Trump is not a liar" .... doesn't count if you are laughing while saying it , or have a soul .
What a great host
This just keep getting better all the time😂😂😂❤❤❤
Lies Plain & Simple lmfao