Why The Narcissist Has To Destroy You To Leave You | Anoushka Marcin
Vložit
- čas přidán 4. 08. 2024
- Got a question for me? Get your specific question answered by me in a video: Now you can enjoy 10% off, just enter BALANCE10 (valid till 10.12.20)
www.wisio.com/BalancePsycholo...
SUPPORT MY CHANNEL : www.paypal.com/paypalme/balan...
For more insightful posts please see my Patreon membership and for videos please follow my CZcams channel where I talk about this weekly in my videos. Get one to one therapy with me (trained clinician) please see my website www.balancepsychologies.com.
BUSINESS INFORMATION
CONTACT : enquiry@balancepsychologies.com
+ Therapy
+ Collaborations
Thank you so much for watching and subscribing to my channel!
Let's Connect!
WEBSITE: balancepsychologies.com
FACEBOOK: / balancepsychologies
TWITTER: / bpsychologies
INSTAGRAM: / balance.psychologies
VIDEO SCHEDULE X 3 weekly
They see genuine kindness as a weakness.
Why?? God is love right??
@@lhm8969 it's a projection of themselves really
@@prettypuppy6752 Only after they block their targets praise with all kinds of unlawful traps. SCAPEGOATING PLOTTING and DERAILING do they ever turn into the Godly one.
@@mariahgutierrez4481 I couldn't do to this person what they did to me .I was surrounded by them all wanting their turn to use me .Tried to escape ran into another.
@@lhm8969 SO IF GOD IS LOVE...WHO ARE THEY THAT HATE & DESTROY? DEMONS RIGHT?
This is so accurate. Leave these people as soon as you realize this is happening. Otherwise the creepiness and damage just continues.
Only Jesus can save me.I trusted for so long.
The saddest part is so called friends will try to make you feel like it was your fault too.
And family
True. But for me karma came when my ex narc divorced his rebound relationship (right after me) and married one of these "mutual friends" of ours. I truly feel sorry. The mask does eventually come off
Not all hangers on are genuine friends - some are looking for ways to benefit from the person you are, but secretly they are happy at your misfortune. Allow people to show themselves to you and once they show you a flicker, that's all you need. Never doubt your intuition. This phenomenon is sinister, creepy and dangerous. You never check out a poisonous snake twice. Crush the head or run.
Oh yeah, they do allow you to see who people are.
@@jademoon5103 Yes, me and my ex-boyfriend broke up nearly a year ago and my sister got involved. I am still not talking to my sister. We never got mad at each other before to not talk to each other.
Jealousy and sadism sums them up.
So true! It's pathetic that he needed to destroy me and my life to feel better about himself. I wish I had the slightest bit of knowledge about narcissism and the signs to watch out for. I am forever changed (in the worst way)!
@@ks4507 you weren't changed in the worst way. You'll see later it made you stronger. Somehow dealing with these kind are some type of blessing in disguise. I'm still trying to understand it all myself, but I'm trusting I will soon understand or know the reason I had to go through this horrible, unjustifiable treatment.
@@ks4507 No your not.
@@greygoose6531 Grey Goose alcohol.
Omen blueprint sums them up.Not just a movie.
But they don't know that it is their intention to destroy you. They believe they can love, and it is you that screwed it up because their defense mechanisms kick in and they start reacting to every perceived slight until they destroy you. Then they rationalize it by saying there is something wrong with you that caused it, and by that time, there is something wrong with you because the abuse will change you.... Let it be a learning experience and that you may rebuild yourself better, stronger, more resilient.
They really truly do not know it. But what they really need is to use your talents, gifts, introductions, everything good to benefit themselves. And they need to make you feel that you should change from all the things they loved, into being a totally different person. Because they are just trying to “help”.
Yes, Vikki, you’re right.
That's Confusion! They Only Selfish Individuals! To Say They Cool To Have Around Forever. Is To Say All This Insight To Bad Behavior...This Woman Teaching On Is Useless THAT 🤔 Is SOOOO Ungrateful!
I'm going through this, right now. Your comment is so accurate it's scary. I'm struggling so much trying to understand and move past this. I really hope there is a brighter future out there.
✨❣️🙏🏼
Never let them know they have destroyed you. Hold your head high and congratulate yourself for getting away. There is NEVER a solution other than leaving them.
Best thing ignore then and their crap. They hate this because they need your reaction be it positive or negative to feed off. Just ignore and invest in yourself.
I agree 100%. I'm currently into the no contact phase but my biggest hurdle is getting unstuck! It seems to be impossible to get back to normalcy. My mind and thoughts are always working against me...
Easy TO SAY IGNORE THEIR CRAP ...IF YOUR NOT THE ,(**TARGET***)!!
@@ks4507 THANKS THAT'S WHY YOU GET SUPPORT AND PROFESSIONAL HELP ,& POLICE AND DETECTIVES AND SHERIFF AND F.B.I. FOR BACK UP BABY,🕷️🔥🎼🙏🎧📽️🎶🔥🎄😘🎄😘🎄🎸📿🦇💯🎸💕🦇💯🦇💯🦇🦇
Victims and TARGET'S OFTEN DO BLAME THEMSELVES BUT NEVER BLAME YOURSELF... BLAME THE PREDATOR
It's very easy when you don't take it personal!
(It's not you are anything you've done, it's the way they are!)
It's hard to cope with the truth if you keep denying it!
Acceptance is the key!
This is 100% my life. He literally flipped everything in my life upside down in a way that I never thought was imaginable!!
Block him and live a happy life. That is the best revenge. They can NEVER be truly happy and feel love and human connection like you do. They are just sad people. Wouldn’t trade lives with them for all the money in the world.
@@roblandau6766 its not about blocking, you don't have to talk to them, they talk to others to ruin your life! I never was in a relationship with my narcissist he was a elder in my church and he talked to my daughter, and police and my hospital and my landlord to ruin my life and he broke in my home and gang raped me! He isolated me from my life!
Same. They are pure evil.
The things I held to be pure and beautiful were made disgusting and dirty. I didn't think it was possible either. my codependency was in full display. No one has ever asked me to cross these boundaries before, because they had true respect. I was blind but now I see the difference. I hope this helps someone else. I am surviving everyday!
@I Sanchez were your questions directed toward me?
I fell for it. I thought I could help her heal. She decieved me fom the start. Cold, twisted, and methodical. It was like a horror movie!" She made her friends and family think I was the problem. "Everyone wants me to break up with you!" Was one of her constant reminders.
Yep, after I called her out for emotional abuse, 2 months later - you guessed it - "all my firends are saying they're worried about me and I should go to a domestic abuser service". Never had any clear explanation of what the allegations were, just discarded. Projection and rejection. Now I know to stay clear of drama and chaos. It's a professionals job to help treat people's mental health issues, not the boyfriend/husband's, although I would of course never turn away or reject a future partner because of their mental health issues, as long as they were actually seeking help and treatment, and not just manipulating through a victim complex.
I’m sorry to u had to go trough this my husband years of marriage and six children discarded me like a piece of trash and hid so much money 💴 behind my back also has turn d our grown children family and his family against me he mentally emotionally abused me !!!take care 🇺🇸🇬🇷🙏🌈🌈🌈
Same story. Stay strong
Honestly I don’t know why he chose me. I’m not successful career wise or financially. I’ve basically 0 friends.
I think the right reasons why a narcissist chooses you is because you’re unique, loyal, overly nice/accepting of bad behavior, have low standards and no boundaries.
I agree with this. They don’t attach to you because of your career, finances, qualities, or friends. Ever. They need a way in to get dopamine. Low standards and no boundaries are how they do it.
But even that isn’t really correct. You do everything by reenacting the fantasy bond of infancy. It’s spontaneous. Kind of like a “Wifi”. Ultimately you can heal and it becomes a lesson.
You can go back to and gradually heal the source issue. It’s very painful. If the trauma is great enough, it isn’t possible. That’s a narcissist’s situation.
@@WDBDWK Is dopamine similar to adrenaline? He says he's an adrenaline junkie and he gets bored very easily.
@@WDBDWK
Are you a counselor? You seem to understand these types of behaviors.
@@lightoflife6593 In 2016 I began to study narcissistic abuse accidentally at the rate of 2-3 hours per day for two years, and then discovered (quite by accident) that some family members were covert narcissists involved in a completely hidden control network. I still find this impossible to believe, but it’s true.
After that, I moved it up to even more time and reviewed absolutely everyone on the internet in this area. Now it’s a more or less brutal no contact with that entire family system, and ongoing learning from a about five people who have really been there, including this channel.
Immersion is absolutely necessary in this area. This is what I believe. It’s hard to conceive of the depth of denial the human brain can invest in.
Mine told me I'm too understanding of his crap and that's why he can't leave me alone...
I'm not even understanding I'm grey Rocking and he doesn't even see it..
He can even conversate with himself..no response from me just me sitting there and he can have a full conversation with himself..
Biggest problem with narcissists is that they are not capable of loving their child or children... they are to focused on them self and their own carrer or lifestyle the child gets neglected , they can only show fake love that will only promote them self and make them self look good in the views of others, they dont care about the child , its crazy..
yep, very true I have seen it in my family and it truly hurts to watch this happening and not being able to do anything to help the child
My sweet beautiful 15 year old is going through this and it's heart breaking
Not all narcs are the same and surprisingly I have to disagree. My ex narc LOVES his children. He takes care of them, provides for them and is very involved in their lives. His children love and adore him also. His motives could be self serving, but his kids are his world. That's the only good I can say that came out of this mess.
@@kellithomas4737 Yeah i guess u are right, but in general that's their diagnosis , most of the time they have some kind of twisted reality of what love or unconditional love is , they are not on that level but most of the time love for them is materialistic things like money or gifts while neglecting the emotional side of love and the loyalty side of love which has nothing to do with money or gifts and so on
That’s true my dad was a narcissist I can relate to what you are saying.
I see that now. He didn’t want me to have my shiny self-confidence, my financial responsibility and discipline, my shiny sense of being competent and equal to any task, my sense of making a beautiful home. These things were CONSTANTLY criticized, denied. And then he wanted to pretend he had all these.
100% same experience
Imagine..just same as mine too
Yes that is so true!
Ditto
I agree... In the end it seemed like his mission was to turn anything good in my life into bad.. He did a great job!
No matter what they do what is amazing is they will not see anything wrong. They will make false statements under oath, lie to relatives, steal your property, and say the most vile things to you and claim they are the victim. Sadly they get away with it most times as well.
They secure all for selves lying and taking and smirking. Lie to everyone including attorneys, judges, psychiatrists - daily. Life style liars on take..Destroy for himself.
Sounds like narcs are nothing, but blabber coming from their mouths.
@Wilson being mislead by a Narcissist will indeed cause you to lie under oath because they gain your trust.
Omg I've just been discarded after 4 years, I had absolutely no clue about npd, i knew about narcassism but I've never actually experienced being with someone like this. He was acting shady for months and then pretty much cut me off out of nowhere after I started calling him on his shady behaviour, he blocked me changed his number and removed all of our photos like I never existed, at this point I had no clue about npd so I reacted a way I never have done before and he called the police on me I had to go in for questioning and I've now got a caution on my record, I'm not proud of my reaction but my god my head was spinning so fast it felt like it ws going to fall off, he even went as far as to wrote a horrible statement about me to the police and has lied to all his family, part of me actually thinks that they actually believe that we were the problem, my reactions to his constant baiting using allsorts of tactics during the relationship became hideous, I would absolutely blow and now all anyone is going to see because hes not being truthful were my reactions to his abuse.
This has been THE most shocking experience of my life but it's made me realise how extremely sick he actually is, there is no accountability, no self reflection, no apologies for what he put me through only him trying to bury me for a reaction that he caused himself, I have no clue if he genuinly believes that my reactions were for nothing? Or if he knew exactly what he was doing? I'm so bloody confused and even now I feel sick to my stomach, I asked for months what was going on as he was acting shady and he insisted nothing was going on, up until the morning that he cut me off he insisted he still loved me and yet now hes not only making out that I was the whole problem in the relationship and that I was the abusive one but hes gone as far as to report me and write a statement about me, I cant cry because I've cried too much now but I feel physically sick, it's that gut punch that told me he never ever loved me, you cannot do that to someone, you cant destroy them if you loved them, even if the love had faded in a normal relationship accountability is their and care and empathy is still their. These demons lead you to react and then they make out you are crazy and harrassing for no reason so that they can walk around telling people your nuts and so they can look like God, I am completely and utterly disgusted that people like this exist, I cant even put into words how i feel, my heart hurts like hell, I'm not broken thankfully but I have never ever felt this way before, the confusion is too much to process. I didnt even know that the reason he was being the way he was and why he always seemed to be pushing for a reaction and would constantly invalidate me was because he was abusive or had a disorder, my reactions got so out of hand thati looked like the bad one x
Wouldn't it be great if society had evolved enough to have a criminal psychology tribunal where you could argue your case in front of a trained panel?
They can't destroy us because they are not true source, we/God are true source to ourselves. NEVER FORGET THAT!
☝️😌
before i knew they were narcs, i wondered why all of the sudden out of nowhere my friends and family acted differently towards me. these people make you out to look crazy, to be somebody that you're not and nobody sees who the narcs really are. it's a very lonely place when this happens
All I can say is they are dangerous. They have no place in anyone;s life save another cold blooded narc. They destroy lifelong relationships, ruin careers, friendships and suck the life out of their targets. There is no place far enough from them on this planet - you cannot put enough diustance between you and them. God help us.
26 years grabbed me at 17;I’m 44 he’s been out over a year last 5 so bad.
Possible smear campaign that was uncalled for in that hypothetical scenario. At some point it became a little too obvious that them and their flying monkeys for alternating for their nice/mean cycle. It's like they're subcommunicating that you're not "good enough" allegedly. They really like to do it at times when you're doing really good and conversely at times when you're doing really bad. It's like you have to be taken down a notch at these crucial moments because of this misguided belief that they have about you
@@meghangriffin8188
Same here ,I’m 47 and met him at 14 !!! He had that strange personality since he was a teenager . I’m divorced now after few decades of marriage .
The slow destruction of your soul is unbelievable, it’s hard for other people to understand it .
But if someone can join some hate club of me based on LIES/etc, then they are TRASH that needs to take itself out of my life yesterday
Only YOU can end this drama ! Don't let the Narc decide ! Realise that everything was fake ! They(he/she) never loved you ! That should make it easier to throw them out of your important life ! Remember your worth, and recognize that they are absolutely worthless individuals. 👍🏻
I told him, that I don't need a parasite in my life ..
Right...💯💯
I tried that but my Abuser was working with another Narcissist and gained information to scapegoat me . Tried to leave fell in the hands of yet another Narcissist. 🤦♀️ Isolated.
@@lhm8969
I'm sorry for you !!
Stay strong, and leave..
Stay for your own for a while.. Focus on yourself. 👍🏻🍀
I have to be more honest with myself. Maybe I ignored the red flags.
@@golondriz3
We all did... Cause we didn't knew with what we were dealing with. We are good hearted, and don't know that evil like that exists.
My opinion...
They have to make sure they've projected all their insecurities to make you feel worthless cuz they feel worthless and once they are done they move on to their next supply
That is horrible.. terrible.. sad..
This is real life Hunger Games! OMG!
Yes, ex narc targeted a wealthy widow.
She has no clue he is using her.
That’s just what they do ! they so deceitful! they playing chess with you! you will never no it coming they gone telling you me and just not working with each other so I getting with some one else they had her all time! they are out cold! you did not no that was coming deceitful that’s what hurt !
Yeah this happened to me. Happened a few years ago and still it's in my mind like what the hell happened lol
He flat out told me I had to end a fifteen year friendship with my gay boyfriend. I said absolutely not. We’ve been friends for 15 years, I’m not ending my friendship! I said forget it, I’m keeping my friends. He didn’t want my gay boyfriend knowing what he was pulling on me. He knew my friend would speak up for me.
Well spotted, well done
@Curtis Mowery WITCHCRAFT AND EVIL...SEEKING TO EVEN DESTROY THE REQUESTER..BEWARE! STAT AWAY FROM THIS PERSON..
Yeahwell i was told my ex was just talking her gay best friend. All the time for 14 months non stop when i asked her to stop, while im spending time with her... Now which i knew... my intuition knew. She is now in a relationship with the so called gay boyfriend!
@Curtis Mowery Go away SCAMMER‼️
Sarah I am elated that you are a strong person. I’ve experienced exactly the same. My ex wanting me to end a 17 year relationship with my friend. It was not about to happen.
These 'narcs ' are extremely damaged souls. These people are empty. It's not a human, although it looks like one.
To dismantle, a narcissist, is to have a strong mind and soul.
They feed off of you to fill their own cup and once your cup is nearly empty they start the discard process xx
@@limitlesspossibilities444 Very true. Its starts the first time you meet them.
100 percent!
@@andersa3448 Except the love bombing completely blinds you to the subtle process about the begin...
yes absolutely...and even after a complete cycle...they attempt it again...
The title is so accurate on itself, they have so much pain inside, they don’t have the power to accept it, but have all the resource to treat you like sh*t..
Yep! 💩
They are very broken people that cant give what they dont have, they simple dont love themselves🙏❤
Jeez you put in words so simply what I struggled to realize for 2 years!
Boy did HE TRY. I turned it back on him and now he is possibly the most miserable he has ever being. He now avoids me like the plague. I am now DRAMA FREE.
💯
A very helpful video !
Let me tell you something :
I'm over the Narc for many months now ! I have my life back , I'm back to myself ! It's possible !
You have to accept (!) that these are totally disturbed, sick individuals. Evil to the bones, without any goodness inside. It's a process, you have to go through. But after all, you will be so much stronger as before. With that knowledge, that they exist, nobody can fool you anymore !! I would never allow anyone to destroy me !! See it , as a huge lesson...
I feel so so so so worthless right now. I know it was him and him projecting his insecurities, but why do I give creedence to his insults? Why Do I believe them? I dont love or trust myself anymore. I let/chose him and he was so wrong for me. God saved me. I just wish he could show regret and an ounce of humility. No one likes to be bullied or feel unworthy
@@anja7787
Don't feel worthless !! That's what he wants !
Don't give him what he wants ! Focus on yourself, be very good to yourself ! You were conditioned ( trained) to think so bad about yourself. This is their scam. Control your thoughts, think positive, and you will be okay again! Give yourself some time . And the best you can do is : forget about that devil! That hurts them most . That's the ONLY thing, that hurts them... Show him how unimportant he is ! 😉👍🏻🍀
@@susiep.7372
Can you please share what you used to help you move on from him. Videos, books, Anything! I need to learn Self Love all over again. This hurts so much!
@@lightoflife6593
I read a lot of
H.G. Tudor. He is a professing Narcissist. It's hurtful to read how heartless these individuals are , but it was very helpful to me. Because I realised, that this person ( my ex narc) is totally different from what I first thought he would be !
Quinn Holiday Videos on CZcams are also very helpful ! Crucial is, that you accept, that EVERYTHING good at the beginning ( Love bombing phase) ,is FAKE ! They are unable to love, they don't have any empathy. That's why they can act like they do. Fact is, they are never loyal , there are many women next to you. That made it easy for me to leave this devil.
PS.: And Anoushka of course !!
@@susiep.7372
H.G.?
I destroyed her. I left/ no contact first. She tried to hoover me back in with flowers, gifts, etc... tried to apologize and be nice/ kind..for her to switch it on me and leave me. It hurt her ego big time. All of this.. gave me peace afterwards. Leave these losers, seriously.
Im listening to this as I lock myself in a different room protecting my soul from my narc bf. I have realized that for the past 2 years every hurt he caused 4 my soul to cry day and night while i was focused on saving this relationship........ Was "Deliberate". He enjoyed my tears. If this is not dark.....
I’m praying for you and your recovery. I’ve experienced major hurt from a person with NPD. I just want to share God’s love with you. This hurt they caused you was not from God, you are precious in God’s eyes no matter your sins. Also, I’ve been able to heal as peacefully as possible by not hating him but loving him by forgiving and praying for him. You have to consider what went so terribly wrong that this person has no empathy for others!?! Most likely they were damaged a long time ago and haven’t been resilient enough to recover themselves. Take care, may you find peace and mercy in Jesus’s name and love.
r s
Just remember and keep reminding yourself that it's them and not you. They will treat every one that come into our lives this way.
Yes, they want to make you Miserable, unhappy, destroyed. They get Worse over time. Run !
I feel they get off when they see us hurt. Only to try a weak ass apology the second they realise you can pull away..and you are able to be without them . Truth is they need supply we don't need them
The dark triad includes this one.
I could tell early on that my Ex-narc needed me in his life to validate him to others. He'd refer to my connections with long term friends, bc he had none unless they were related to him. He needed my credit score to begin living a normal life bc he'd ruined his own. He needed me to show him the ropes on how to buy a house, a new car and on normal lifestyle behaviors. After 30 years, he left with all he needed from me in the beginning. He left better off. Me, not so much. But I'm thankful he's gone. Though I'm not recovered yet... I will.
God blesses you
I lived this as well❤️
@@carriedillmann4455 thank you God bless you. We're survivors. That's for sure.
In mighty of Jesus Christ, you are going to rise up from your ashes and be as good as you were before you met that reptilian seed man.
@@Kabaselefh Amen
No worries honey I've learned one thing about them , they get pretty much everything they want but cannot I repeat CANNOT keep it/ them. They'll have to repeat the same cycle over and over again.
I’m very familiar with all of this. You are so right. They work on you for years and just drain your whole being. Narcs are so very subtle and sneaky. They hate inner strength, inner happiness and contentment in others because they don’t have this. Just live your best life without them.
Energy vampires glad I walked hard healing though but this was my lesson x
I escaped a Narcissist.. Boy did he break me down and leave me in absolute ruin. I still question the decisions I make especially when dealing with relationships. I am fearful of getting myself in the same type of situation.
I was destroyed by him before he left me.
I know that feeling... my mother tried to end me. he tried to end me. WE ARE STILL STANDING! They tried go bury us, but didn't know we were seeds - i love that saying. I am rebuilding myself and i have never felt more alive 🙏🏾🤸🏾♀️
@@misstidoy They are truly ill people. It’s a testimony to love that you are moving forward.
@@WDBDWK amen now i am reborn again 🙏🏾
He was destroying you all along. Perhaps you were discarded the moment you realized what he was doing.
Me too , all the education didn’t mean a thing to them they dehumanize the person , it’s degrading 🥲
Feel really let down that this knowledge of narcissism wasn't taught in my education curriculum. Would have set me up better in life than being taught Maths, English and Science.
I got more love from the CAT than i got from her .
These relationships match our attachment processes always. The narcissist uncovers the denied unconscious reality. Always.
I WAS NEAR DEATH FROM THESE ENVIOUS PREDATORS
They will try to kill you .... one cut at a time
@@flowersofthefield340 yes so true.x
Likewise. Hope u have healed now.
@@sharondegoede8264 yes,thankyou.x
Amen! It’s a long road back to yourself but so worth it.
Sooo soooo WORTH IT FREE AND I AGREE WITH YOU
Yes absolutely 🙏👏
When my ex narc came to visit and meet my family for the first time, he wore a tuxedo, he played it very sophisticated, he brought flowers to my mother and my sister, gift for my father and even treats for our cats and dog. :O I was wooooooooooow who is this well behaving attractive man? Is he really mine? My family was like :O ohh eeeh... welcome... my mother and sister blushing getting the flowers... he knew how to pretend financial stability and awesomeness and good education, he came, he won our love and attention. He shoved me his real face after we moved in together, it took him few days to start to uncover who he really is, by taking little steps and isolating me from my family and friends. And when there was an issue? My mother believed it was my fault! He charmed her and she is narc as well. LOL. She was jealous of our relationship. Funny thing is there was nothing to be jealous of he was humiliating me every single day! :-(
My narc bf did the same. Flowers, vacations, first class flight bookins, flowers for my gfs, always in tuxedo, pretending he got it going on financially. I was too naive to see the little red flags cuz i let things go assuming people grow at their own time n pace. Nope!!! Nope!!! Nope!!! No gm texts, no gud night texts, he asks me to go with other men, everything is my fault with his drowning business, watches people's stories on youtube till 4 am, so he didnt have to come to bed, no hugs, kisses, cuddles for a minute in 2 years, never took me out on a date, never complimented. Always told me i am under work stress. I helped his business for 6 months and charged him $10/ hour, pay he decided, not me. I could have worked for $5. My intentions were genuine. He threw in my face that I took payments from him. Therefore, m no good. I used to work equivalent of 6 workers. My feet b swollen, my body b in constant pain as I have a heart condition that makes my legs go weak during less supply of blood being pumped.
Ladies and gentleman, all this time, I was being used. Now, I find myself in a state/ city where I know nobody except him. And my family is good 7 states away. Pray 4 me.
@@rourou95822 next time use the app Psychic Encounters and speak to an empathic intuitive to ask if you should get involved with someone or not. They can read ppl’s energy
Yes! I found myself recording our conversations because NOONE in my family would believe the stories that I shared with them. Once he got me isolate from everyone, his mission to destroy me went into full effect!
This is what they do! Buy stuff for your family, take them for dinner to a fancy place, tell funny stories. Later they criticize you and make more arrangements to connect with your family. When they destroy the relationship with you, they want to make sure that EVEN YOUR FAMILY thinks You are the one with the problem! I call it stealing your relationships. All is not lost. A good family member could see whats going on...if theyre not a narcissist.
Lol tuxedo-what a weirdo.
They are reckless and over confident
Mine died unexpectedly. I described myself as "a ghost of a person who never existed". I'm trying to rebuild my life; thank you.
You were blessed!
Lucky you.
The death of a narcissist is a good thing to hear about.
My husband tore my family apart. I was young and it tore me apart. But Im still here smarter, stronger and better. He can't separate me from them anymore.
lookB4 Uleap,You deserves better 🙏
❤️❤️❤️👍🙌☺️
The relationships in my 20's were all with narcissists and I didn't even know it. Glad this information is available now.
I lost my family. My only brother, my youngest daughter, several other family members. I feel so alone now. Its so painful. I want my family back.
Build back your life from within - remember who you were before the darkness came along, then piece by piece put your life together, your likes, hobbies etc. Soon enough your life will be full again and you will make quality relationships. Those who do not come back, may have reached their use by date in your life journey. But the genuine ones will see through the madness and value who you really are.
Just give it some time while developing a support group. You can do it.
Pray to Jesus. He truly helps. Your heart has to be open though.
Isnt it weird that they keep so much evil energi...its difficult to understand ❤
Your cute
I totally agree. It is a mystery how they live day in day out like this.
They are weak and cowards that's why.
@@sarahs5340It’s how they regulate their shattered core “self”. Pure survival day after day. There is nothing bad or evil about it.
The issue is the people who are used to fantasy bonds (infant level) and are addicted to the dopamine Cluster B’s can generate. It truly is an addiction.
They can’t live day in and day out without addicts who attach to them. Addicts have a denial that can be broken, these people most certainly do not.
Addicts can return emotionally to the source problem one day at a time. They can recover. These people can’t.
@@WDBDWK aren't both parties addicts? I like where your going. More please!
It's like they want you to share the pain and want that they have. It is like they have such deep-seated envy that to see you down is the only thing that suppresses them some. It doesn't last long as they soon lock into superiority and their ego becomes inflated to the maximum.
@@lhm8969 It’s a horrible thing, and I’m going through it. The way forward is to understand that it is you that is causal in everything. You actually have a choice (although it sure doesn’t feel like it).
Healing exposes where the holes in our boundaries came from and why they were there. It’s always attachment trauma. It seems unfair, but the truth is that you can heal (you have empathy, in spite of your original trauma aged 0-3) and they absolutely cannot.
The idea of these “bad people” who are “turning people” “against me” is not true. It doesn’t have even one iota of truth to it. That is not what is happening. You really do have power, and you really can individuate from your family of origin (where the problem started, and what attracted the Cluster B).
Going back to ones family of origin and “re-doing” the unconscious fantasy bond/ inner family constellation is xenophobic. The problem is not and never was the Cluster B. They are a mirror. They reveal our fusion levels.
The narrative of someone “coming in” and being “attracted to your good qualities” is of course true, but that is secondary to why the transference process got going.
@@WDBDWK You need to start your own CZcams channel about this, regarding your comments and both parties core wounds from childhood. Your obviously doing the work. Any books you can recommend regarding this?
@@lisakaler4121 Thank you for saying that because anyone and everyone connected to me before me figuring out what was going on has had to use “survival gaslighting”. Necessary invalidation.
Breaking trauma bonds and getting better will mean boundaries and thus new people who aren’t living out their family of origin fusion.
The first order of business is getting healed. That is all about timing and very individual. An excellent author who knows about the dynamics and healing is Julie L. Hall. Her book is called “The Narcissist in Your Life”. She has many great articles on the net.
Meredith Miller came out with “The Journey”, and it has taken forever to read because you have to be ready to absorb it. You may never forget her scorpion story. That is the origin of the problem.
Ross Rosenberg is a fine therapist, and his book “The Codependency Cure” is a gift, and so is Ross.
Lisa A. Romano has “The Road Back to Me”, and this is very good. Her CZcams channel is 10/10, and anyone who has seen her knows that.
Finally, The Little Shaman should write a book but hasn’t as far as I know. She’s pretty much a Fifth Degree Ninja when it comes to understanding Cluster B’s and what our involvement with them means. Her channel is solid gold in my opinion.
I personally love Scott Bassett and his 130 video library on Understanding Narcissists. He’s a very, very complete thinker as far as isolating narcissists and outlining what they are. He sells materials and his “16 Signs of a Narcissist” book is wonderful. I have listened to it in video format, and I highly recommend it. Take the time to find this guy on the net (he’s really young). He knows what he’s talking about.
@@WDBDWK You are welcome. I can tell your doing the work. I appreciate your comments and input and I will look in to the people you mentioned. Thanks again JFM.
Sad but true. Stay prayed up, know your heart and who you are. Life’s too short for negative energy.
Took me many years to identify the narcissists in my life. I'm shifting away from them now....
Very well and detailing explain. That is exactly what life with a narc is. Pure hell of a roller coaster. So so draining. Their charm is the devils spell honestly. Get out and recover. Do better for yourself.
Mine was jealous. He was always competing with me. Besides the other messed up stuff. Tried to make it so my parents were homeless even...he was really really jealous of my friends & family
Got super jealous when I lost weight & gained muscles.
all narcissistic relationships I witness is the narcissist looks really well and the other partner looks really bad and old ... so sad
In my experience, the narc I know targeted people with vulnerabilities. It was the vulnerabilities that opened the door for the narc to walk in, save the day (narcs are so wonderful in the beginning) and be the hero so he was revered. I'm not saying the people he targeted weren't strong or didn't have appealing attributes. However, they were all in vulnerable positions in their lives when he entered their lives. He is a horror of a human being, taking and consuming at others expense.
A Hero is just a sandwich. He has the Principalities on his side cause he needed them.Just 1 woman.
Mine it loves addicts low level people makes him feel good so pathetic
My grandma (a vulnerable narcissist) is all about revenge. About every little stuff. Just exhausting...
So true, as soon as I confessed my feelings and he knew I was getting hooked, Again, the devaluation started up at lightning speed, suddenly the shouting, the madness started, suddenly were just friends and I'm sick to think he would consider a relationship with me, a guy with no money or prospects 😂😂😂
Thanks for your voice! Totally insane people, wish we could put them in jail!!!
You are right - it is a crime and they are criminally insane, but feign narmalcy, they are totally unhinged.
they are so jealous, those miserable souls- the problem is, they hijack everything you have and turn around and say to you that they gave it to you or you learned it from them.
OMG! So true! Mine moved in to MY house which I'd lived in for 8 years before meeting him, and then while going through a divorce told his attorney HE BUILT the house!!! 😑 Just plain bat crap crazy!!! 😕
@@anndra1160 What is up with them all doing the same thing? the worst is that their flying monkeys believe it.
thank you. Narcissists and drugs have something in common-love deliussion like a mirage in a desert... they thirst is insatiable and never really satisfied...
yeah, I've given up on people. I'm just going to be alone now. God never came to stop anyone.
It’s hard for God to reward enablers. Now if you’re out he will lift you up.
Maybe God wanted you to change course? If you served Him well in adverse conditions you will surely be rewarded.
Don't give them what they want. They love to steal your (hope) I feel like a recluse on the daily but, god has me here for a damn good reason whether, I realize it now or not. Don't give up on yourself.
I bet when you least expect it , you will be thanking God for your new experience
They r jealous of everyone n everything u lose all n gain nothing w a narc not worth being w them
One of the narcissists in my life used her mother's critical remarks of me to bring me down. This was my high school best friend. She moved summer of sophomore year. I am very lucky she moved because I was very much in a growth spurt in my artistic and musical development. There were a few other friends who were in a kind of jealous mode but this closer friend would have ruined my growth as a person and individual.
Excellent advice. Once you realize you are dealing with a narcissist. An adult with the mental capacity of a 3-6 yr old child, stop! Take five steps backwards and stop engaging and reacting to their games. True there is no need to take revenge on them,or behave like them. You are dealing with a damage child. Be your best self it makes them suffer.
You are right. They have the emotional maturity of a child. It's like they got stuck at a certain age and were not able to move on.
@AJ that's exactly what happened
My narc surrounded me with his family all the time
It has taken me 2 years to find myself again and still working on it now...trauma bonding is very real...
They feed off of you until they are bored then the discard stage starts and it's not pretty...
I have never been so grateful to be discarded now and he is on to the next mini me. But I pray for her. She has no idea what she git into either. Also I have no illusions now. It was never love. I was a high for him that he loved to bomb with love and then bomb with hate. He is a sick pup. Shine on sis. We will never have to suffer like that again. Once we understand. We were so protected to have survived. Now we must thrive with this new found wisdom and freedom.
Your on point. Nobody knows unless youve been through it. I have and completely understand every word. Brings light in a dark World living with a covert narcissist
I think that basically, they are very bad and jealous.
....And incredibly insecure in themselves which is why they seek to destroy our self esteem. It makes them feel powerful!
They basically do the devil's work
Devils.
Excellent, after narcissistic abuse you become a student researching and learning about what you have just experienced thank you for putting it across in a concise and clear way ♥️
Omg I'm even hated on for being excited about my own birthday..
Says he never had anyone celebrate his birthday so why should I be excited..
Yes, my birthday has been shared with a sister for years. So I got used to celebrating with my family. Then he found ways to separate me from that, every single year, or make it with his family. That was always a disaster. Until I just didn’t want to celebrate unless it was only with him. And for his birthday, he expected grand and unattainable plans.
@@WilmaJeanTV I so relate to this. These people are really not logical in their thinking at all..selfish to their core
You are very empathetic. What a relief. Thank you! Thank you very much.
This is one of the best Videos, on You Tube...Great insight, to this mental illness.
This is litterally my life right now i needed to hear this so bad ❤
Boy o boy do I appreciate this educational video! Thank you!
Fantastic content in this video! Keep up doing a great work!
I am going through this. This people are terrible, thank you so much for your kindness and guidence. God bless you!!💋💋🌹🌹
It is quite impressive how hearty you get with us... for us. You want us to heal! Thank you so much!
This video was so helpful. It resonates a lot with what I've experienced. I remember severally questioning my memory and sanity after gaslight episodes.
Thank you so much for your ideas - I had so many epiphanies and took lots of notes😊
This makes total sense to me. I was systematically destroyed from the inside out. My family, my environment, my finances, my whole entire life. Thank you for describing this so eloquently.
You can see your passion about the subject when you speak....thanks for sharing your experience!
I found this an affirming video with a positive message. It has taken a while but it made my smile. I guess I am healing. Keep up the good work and thank you
Family freinds faith and God
This person who seemed so warm , sweet , humble , that it seemed they were selling themselves short . I had it well together , capable , strong , and this inspite of very great difficulties,, . It does drain you , they have no root in them . Like being life support to a tree without roots .
36 years , until i was hit with chronic illness . Yes they take it to destroy us . And they give everyone the same impression , warm , sweet , humble . But behind that persona , evil . I finally realized it was not my lot in life , to be someones slave , or doormat, and i was deserving of acknowledgement , appreciation , validation , and respect .
And when did they assume the role of God, in my life . I then realized the sabatoge , and manipulation they implemented to achieve this . The adversary comes to steal , kill , and destroy . The devil appears as a angel of light . No one involved would believe these individuals are as diobolical, as they are . So yes we have to complete the journey on our own .
You are so very correct. After all is said and done, we must be emotionally strong and complete this journey- at least be able to complete this journey alone. May your faith support you at all times.
Love you're style so straight forwards and easy to understand. 10yrs married to a narc 2 yrs free and healing thank you for your work x
Thank you, for the breath if fresh air. I'll be watching this again soon.
Thank you so much for this. The patterns you described is exactly what happened to me. I'm so glad the truth revealed itself to me, the physical & emotional abuse, the isolation, the cheating and lies - it finally clicked. I can now finally shift the focus back to me. To everyone else out there healing, stay strong! Thank you again.
Thank you so much!
This is the best video helping me to heal❤️
Such comforting words... thank you so so much... I'm rebuilding myself❤
I’m so grateful for this explanation, it’s given me insight to my experiences and when I became clinically ill last year and my ex’s psychology behaviour became more apparent. my world broke by his narcissistic personality as it behaviour became apparent.
Great video. You did a good job explaining this topic. Very true! Take this video serious to all because we in this together. The narcissistic person that you are with is out to harm you. Not to love you. To tear you down little by little. Don't believe nothing they say because they lie to get what they want.
This was a great video and full of resourceful information and understanding. Thankyou
This is one of the best, to-the-point, SPOT ON videos I've seen on what narcissists/sociopaths/predatory people do and what they suck out of you (indeed without being able to do anyting with it themselves). I've gone through it last year with a girl, I am slowly recovering, seeing it better and better, it's hard because I thought I loved her (I put her on a pedestal and accommodated her, giving her all I had) but now it's clear to me it was never the other way around wrt care and love. They cannot really love, don't have empathy and indeed, are out to destroy everything positive that you represent because they don't and can't own it themselves. Thank you for this video. Big time.
Excellent video!
I am free of this after three years and the peace is amazing! ❤️
Excellent job young lady...bulls eye... Thank you...if only the rest of the world could be warned of them..
Thank you so much for this video.. My Narc took discarded me today for good.. I:m relieved that the emotional roller coaster is over.. now to get my scrambled mind back to a healthy place... Ths video helped me so much
From 18 to 33 think I became lost in my 20s
Thank you so much for your videos. My ex-narcissist is facing prison time. It was always inevitable but I had to learn the hard way. Truly a soul sucking experience.
Really well explained. Thank you ❣️
Awesome video and also just joined your channel. Today is 1 month since I regained control of myself. I'm doing great but sometimes I have my bad days. You explain things so well and from a holistic point of view. Thanks again :)
You are SO ON THE MONEY !!! You have to have lived thru a Narc Nightmare. Being in a Narc Nightmare is SO INTENSELY Brutal. Thank You for your Wonderful insightful Videos that help Heal ! THANK YOU !! YOUR WONDERFUL !!!!
This is fantastic. Thank you very much - especially for the time taken to cover some more subtle but really important topic areas. How can anyone put a thumbs down to this? (Just wondering). Great video.
Your Video is Extremely Perceptive and Helpful; the Narcissist does the types of things mentioned in this Video. The Narcissist engages in alot of Malicious, Sadistic, Extraordinarily Evil Behavior.
Thanks so much for this message I really needed the vision
Well said, you are on point. More power... Thanks😊👍
This is spot on!!
Thanks for your work on this subject. I am lucky not to have suffered under the weight of a Narcissist, but I am friends with a woman that is really having a bad divorce with one. This video has fortified me with a better understanding of Narcissistic behavior.
From all my vulnerable heart you must have a huge THANK YOU for explaining as you do. Of all the hours I have spent reading and listening to explanations and answers to what I have experienced and still experience, you have given me the faith and strength to start living again❤️🙏🏼 I have experienced pretty much all of the worst possible scenarios possible in the barely 3 years I was doormat for a narcissist. we have not seen each other for about 8 months but I can feel her presence often. As if she knows where I am and watches me from the hidden. It is uncomfortable and has a strong feeling that she wants to hurt me more than I ever imagined….! Almost thought I was the only one in the world who had experienced and been exposed to such violent "human" behavior .. But I am grateful that there are many with similar stories. It makes me sure I had not just gone crazy…! All the power to love !! ❤️ And again, THANK YOU for being there to give me strength, faith and hope for a better future !!!!
bless you and thank you, your work and insight from i suspect your own experiences, has helped me and no doubt others going through self discovery and manifesting what we collectively want and need, watched and taken on board your insights from a lot of your videos, an it has helped me make a transition to positivity, namaste x
Just found you, so happy I did.
Everything in this video is exactly what I’ve gone through with my husband. I am now on a no contact with a temporary restraining order. I will definitely listen to your videos.
@Curtis Mowery she had to get restraining order. Are you even coherent???
Good luck to you. 🐨🐨😍😍
I've just started my own healing journey.
@Curtis Mowery tell me more
Very true I tried for years thinking it was because I was vulnerable but always questioned why he would attack me harder when I would post great stuff about my business on social media!
Amazing video! Thank you 😊💕