6 Ways Relationship Perfectionism is ruining your love life| HealingFa.com

When you have relationship perfectionism, you often have an image of a relationship and how it should be. In this video, I will talk about relationship perfectionism and how it can ruin your love life! This is unfortunately, a topic which is not talked about enough, but can have a huge effect on your relationship, life and happiness!
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--- Contents --
00:00 Intro
00:17 Never getting there
03:13 Constant disappointment
04:08 Perfectionism
04:50 Missing magic
08:40 Partner doesn’t feel loved
10:45 Never fully relax in the moment
12.50 Missing something
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Video Title: 6 Ways Relationship Perfectionism is ruining your love life
This video is about 6 Ways Relationship Perfectionism is ruining your love life, but It also covers the following topics:
Perfectionism
Magic love
fearful avoidant
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✅ About Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant.
The way you feel right now is not the way you are. If you want more freedom, calm, love, and peace in your head, body, and life, it is possible. You are not too broken.
‌After spending 14 years healing the fearful avoidant attachment style, I am beyond passionate and dedicated to getting you to where I am now: living a life true to myself, waking up feeling rested and peaceful. Deeply in love with my husband and looking forward to the future. This is what life is supposed to be like, and it is my honor to help you get there.
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#perfectionism
#fearfulavoidant
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[@user-wu2dr7yw8b]

It’s very hard to discern if your body / heart / mind is trying to tell you something is “off” about the relationship or if you are just seeking perfection. How do you discern your intuition telling you things and if you’re just feeling something unattainable?

[@don-eb3fj]

@7:18 dismissing our feelings- "okay, I just won't be here anymore". Profoundly important point for relationship with OURSELVES, and carrying over onto our relationships with others. I would love to hear more indepth discussion of this point, as I believe it is central to all attachment issues, not just for we FAs, and in extreme cases leads to much more problematic manifestations like dissociation, anhedonia, alexithymia, dysthymia... Thank you Pauline, this one strikes the root.❤

[@don-eb3fj]

@12:13 -a musical/poetic expression of this idea:
"...I'm still waiting for the rain to fall,
pour real life down on me,
'cause I can't hold on
to anything this good... enough.
Am I good... enough?"
Evanescence "Good Enough"
Would you consider this to be a result of the Anxious(abandonment) or Dismissive(invalidation) side of the FA spectrum? , or the result of being torn between them?

[@readingnarcissism]

I have abandoned the idea of perfectionism, and when I'm 95, life just needs to be lived and if this is with another person that's a beautiful thing. Life is difficult and many are choosing to live it on their own terms, a high percentage now are choosing to be single. Great topic 😊

[@Itshillarycaitlyn]

You have helped me SO much! I recently found out I have a fearful avoidant attachment style. I'm finally understanding why I have been feeling so confused, stressed and overwhelmed emotionally. I am in my first serious and healthy relationship with a great guy and I'm low key terrified lol Your videos have been such a blessing helping me understand what I'm experiencing and encouraging me to know that it can get better. Thank you so much!

[@abigailcosta1716]

It's so painful when you can't stop wanting a fantasy and then keep waking up to a really disappointing reality 😭. Sometimes I feel like real life men are incredibly underwhelming, and I just settled with the first guy I liked because I didn't want to end up alone💔... Other times, I feel like I'm just too picky and I want someone who's super charming. Not even perfect, cause perfect is boring... just someone interesting and well spoken and not cringe 😬.
I love my husband but sometimes I feel like I'll never again be IN LOVE with him, no matter how desperately he tries 💔. I haven't felt in love in years... I just cannot stop seeing his flaws and getting "icks" with everything he does! It's SO unfair to him, he really should just get rid of me.
I'm not even afraid of anything at all, I just want to feel SOMETHING!

[@user-fu9fk2sj6i]

Omg…. I so resonate with you… its like you read my mind or something, which tbh to somewhat shocking how FA attachment can make people feel such similar things! Like what you said about charming and well spoken! And not cringe omg, its like the only people I can feel in love with are narcissists which are like the worse choice you can make! Omg I really don’t wanna feel like this that I can’t feel love for normal people

[@miamckersie3667]

Thank you thank you thank you! This is so helpful 💜