I can relate to this, my dad has Parkinson's and my mom is in crisis mode. I'm not sure what my role is in all this, and feeling quite helpless. When I go over, I want to get all this stuff done, and feel a tremendous amount of anxiety and overwhelm trying to do anything. Wanting to appease and do the right thing, but also have entered quite a deep depression over my perceived inability to handle this and feeling like there are no good solutions here.
Thank you for this Paulien! Oof hat last part about clinging to your parents as a last life line hits so close to home, so does my parents having been my best friend!! I recognize I cling to my parents like moss to a rock despite how toxic the relationship got. And I did so honestly in a way because I felt like I could not do other relationships, friendships romance etc, there was no hope there. I’m still rather enmeshed with my parents but since doing a lot of work it’s been amazing to see how my relationship with my parents has changed. After being able to set boundaries with my parents and deal with them as adults it’s become kind of shocking for me to realize how immature they often are. I likely did not notice as much because when they triggered me my reactions in the past were equally immature. Now I find space for difficult feelings to be there, communicate my upset and set a boundary and in those spaces it’s fascinating sometimes for me to recognize my parents on the other side of an age that seems so much younger and child like.
Me too, I love this so so similar to my situation, I am staying strong w this aspect of my healing as I see now how detrimental it has been to my life - waiting for my needs to be met by people who were unable to be that mother for me.
I like the idea of growing through our own trauma and trying to please is like filling a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Letting go is liberating, head up, shoulders back and share your wonderful worth with this world, its working for me 😊
Very painful indeed. I'm currently no contact with my parents. I don't think I can forgive them for how badly they screwed up and I don't have a desire to try anymore. It's been a one-way street my whole life. No point in pouring empathy into them.
Gosh, it sounds like my FA ex 😢 and I have a feeling (from many evidence) that a part of him regrets being stuck there but he doesn't know how to exit that situation, how to fix it (he still lives there), so he has given up on having a life to please his parents 😢
In my particular case: it's because I still live with my mother and she's chronically ill. Not appeasing her would make me look like an abuser
Of course every situation is different. Nothing is black and white. Its wonderful you are taking care of your mother❤
I can relate to this, my dad has Parkinson's and my mom is in crisis mode. I'm not sure what my role is in all this, and feeling quite helpless. When I go over, I want to get all this stuff done, and feel a tremendous amount of anxiety and overwhelm trying to do anything. Wanting to appease and do the right thing, but also have entered quite a deep depression over my perceived inability to handle this and feeling like there are no good solutions here.
That is exactly my case as well
Thank you for this Paulien! Oof hat last part about clinging to your parents as a last life line hits so close to home, so does my parents having been my best friend!! I recognize I cling to my parents like moss to a rock despite how toxic the relationship got. And I did so honestly in a way because I felt like I could not do other relationships, friendships romance etc, there was no hope there. I’m still rather enmeshed with my parents but since doing a lot of work it’s been amazing to see how my relationship with my parents has changed. After being able to set boundaries with my parents and deal with them as adults it’s become kind of shocking for me to realize how immature they often are. I likely did not notice as much because when they triggered me my reactions in the past were equally immature. Now I find space for difficult feelings to be there, communicate my upset and set a boundary and in those spaces it’s fascinating sometimes for me to recognize my parents on the other side of an age that seems so much younger and child like.
Thank you so much for sharing your story❤
I love your comment! I feel you! ❤thanks for sharing
Me too, I love this so so similar to my situation, I am staying strong w this aspect of my healing as I see now how detrimental it has been to my life - waiting for my needs to be met by people who were unable to be that mother for me.
I like the idea of growing through our own trauma and trying to please is like filling a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Letting go is liberating, head up, shoulders back and share your wonderful worth with this world, its working for me 😊
Thank you for this positive and lovely comment❤☀
Very painful indeed. I'm currently no contact with my parents. I don't think I can forgive them for how badly they screwed up and I don't have a desire to try anymore. It's been a one-way street my whole life. No point in pouring empathy into them.
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been very hard to make that decision. Sending lots of love your way❤
Great Video Pauline :) and so not easy to do it but necessary for healing 🙏
Thank you for being here❤
Gosh, it sounds like my FA ex 😢 and I have a feeling (from many evidence) that a part of him regrets being stuck there but he doesn't know how to exit that situation, how to fix it (he still lives there), so he has given up on having a life to please his parents 😢
Thanks for this.
Why do I feel like crying whenever I think of him?!
❤❤❤