How To Get Your Kid To Stop Screaming
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- čas přidán 30. 01. 2018
- So, you've got a screaming child, and you found this video. To help you get your kid to stop screaming, I need to share a story about a chicken. I once had to take care of a chicken to pass my Behavioral Psychology class, and while chicken's are different from children, I learned some principles that relate to how to increase and decrease your kid's behavior.
Hopefully this will help improve your parenting skills.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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All parents with small kids need to watch these videos. ....very logical and balanced discussion
Honored by your comment Taher Jaleel - thanks for watching! DrPaul
This works well for older kids who understand logic and can connect a punishment as just a consequence. For younger kids (until 6 or even 7). Connection is the key. Get down to their level, make them feel heard, let them know you can see that they are having a hard time and be there. They need connection not punishment which can make them feel "bad" or ashamed
BellaVida, that is one reason why we always teach, calm face, calm voice, calm body. It works!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you!
are we saying that this wont work on 2.5 to 3 year olds? seems to have worked for us.
@LiveOnPurposeTV dosnt work with smart manipulative kids..time outs and threatening to take away tech ends in disaster too..and father won't let me put him on time out because of the screaming.
Thanks God, I found you. I need this for my parenting skills.
And thank you for watching Affanaman. Honored to be on your team.
His dramatic facial expressions got me rolling 😂🤣
He makes it entertaining 🙂
Lisette Reeves, I am passionate about these principles.
Right lmao. Animated doctors are always the best ones ~ they have personality
Oh my goodness, so wonderful to hear someone actually explain the behavior theory definitions of consequences. I was an exotic animal trainer for 10 yrs and have my degree in Learning Theory. So the millions of times I hear people use this terms incorrectly is enough to drive me nuts.
Glad I got it right then! Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV, its KayBe.
This gave me a road map that changed my life and I instantly saw improvement with my son. So happy I found this.
Michael Addison, thank you, that is a high compliment.
Hey Dr. Paul, i love your videos and I'm learning a lot. Thank you so much for making these awesome videos and please don't stop making them. I'm a single parent and I've been diagnosed with bipolar depression a few months ago. My son is almost 3, and i get frustrated sometimes because he's so active. Watching your videos teaches me how to become a better parent. I'm so glad I came across with one of your videos. Again, thank you so much! God bless you and your family.
Thank you jehfelene mortalla - so honored to be on your parenting teen. Take a look at the different playlists here on the channel. We've got videos there for you not only on parenting, but also on positive personal development and dealing with things like depression. I hope you find it helpful! DrPaul
good luck with you. you've got a challenging road ahead of you, but you will emerge so much stronger and wiser than the rest of us. There are caring people here on you tube that are praying for you and your son.
You love them because he’s incredibly positive. I noticed it too. Even using psychological warfare to make me keep watching.
Thank you SO SO much Dr Paul for the positive parenting playlist! It has helped immensely with my 3yrs old kid. I was completely ignorant about dealing with kids, because before my own child I have never been around one. Everything was amazing until the 2 years showed up and I lost patience and interest in playing with my child. There would always be a conflict and a bad behaviour somehow. I'm so thankful that I discover your channel just in good time to change things around! I gotta say, I just need to try the things you say for few days and it works like a charm :) Thanks again, I have forwarded this playlistlist around!
Glad you are able to build your parenting skills. I am excited for the relationship you are building for you and your child.
Saw this last night. The kids are cleaning up and listening. Thank you!!!!
Wonderful!
Exactly what I am working on in my psychology for educators class. Thank you Dr. Paul!
Perfect - feel free to use the video as a resource. Behavioral psych can be a little tricky to understand sometimes. Glad you found it helpful! DrPaul
My 5 yr old is a professional whiner and screamer when he does not get what he wants! I'm so stomped. I've said for a long time no screens until you learn not to whine and cry. but, this kid is so hyped up on life and needs so much attention that going without screens is more punishment to me. I'm glad I found your vids, and praying it clicks in my everyday life.
PlainRaven, honored to be on your team.
Your videos are gems and I am glad I bumped into them. Regarding this issue though, there is a situation where the method falls short, because if you are at a social gathering , or anywhere with other people around, not giving them attention while they are screaming might be recipe for disaster (other people getting seriously nervous at you parents, and maybe even giving the kid the attention that they miss from you). But then, probably you already published a video where you address this specific situation, and anyway I am lucky in that regard as mine is not a serial, outdoors screamer.
I had to leave a gathering at different times with my children when they were young. We went and sat in a car or somewhere until they could act appropriately.
He got my interest on how to look and act on behaviors. This is helping me out big time for being a first time parenting
Thomas Woods, we are honored to be on your team.
Love this video!! Makes so much sense when raising little one. Thank you 🙏🏻
Glad you found it helpful! DrPaul
My child's screaming but this guy telling a story
I hope it is helpful for you, check out some of the other videos on our channel.
Thanks, very insightful. Makes perfect sense, but i imagine it will not be as easy in practice. Wish my parents knew this tho!
Whatever we practice we get better at - keep at it Darth Bacon! DrPaul
This works with most kids... Not so applicable to kids with ODD who aren't easily incentivized however. I have seven kids and this works easily with five of them but the two with ODD have almost no reasonable motivators. Males it's very challenging. They will also destroy our home when you remove what they do want. It's very hard. My empathy changed for other struggling parents after my first challenging kid. They are younger withore energy and their persistence and motivation game is high.
Well said, ODD throws in another complexity.
Not only a great video but made me see things alot different!! Consistent is key!! Thanks alot Dr.Paul
Glad you're finding it helpful Aly C! DrPaul
Your videos really help me with my little ones👍🏼 thank you for sharing!
You are welcome, Lovely Alli.
Fantastic advice 💪so many kids screaming to get what they want 🙏
Maria Dionisio Dionisio, hopefully they aren't being rewarded.
Amazing how small kids stop yelling when they find out that there’s that one adult that can yell a hell of a lot louder and scarier, and can shake the drywall like Mufasa. No kid likes correction or discipline, but then again no adult likes jail or prison either. Get the behavior under control immediately, and don’t waste time. It only makes parenting much harder for the rest of us.
Thank you for watching, Iggy.
My mom used to carry a wooden spoon in her purse at the grocery store. Needless to say, we didn’t step out of line much
Wow! Thanks for being here at Live On Purpose TV.
Great video! Thanks for sharing!
viaisgoncalves, you are welcome. Please share with others who may find it helpful.
Excellent video,Learning a lot about parenting from your videos.
Thank you so much
Maria Hasan, honored to be on your team.
This is excellent for teachers.
We have lots of teachers at the channel, thanks for taking the time to comment.
This works with all animals and people, I do positive reinforcement with my horses, it's amazing 😊
Yes, Bea Werder. The principle can apply to animals also.
The way this guy teaches us is like when he teaches kids
Thank you for watching.
Hi. Please give advices on how to manage discipline in overcrowded classrooms. Your clips n advices are very informative ...thanks
Thy this one: czcams.com/video/mw0f5oTNQqM/video.html
Hope that helps - thanks for being here Khadija Baiyant! DrPaul
Wonderful. Science applied to the real world of real parents. It totally changed the perspective. Thank you.
Glad you found it helpful! DrPaul
This is great advice for things I am dealing with right now. Thanks for the great videos.
Glad it's helpful Janet! Trying to beef up the parenting resources here on the channel - let me know if you have other specific questions and we will shoot a video with my take. DrPaul
It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on how to help children mourn the loss of a loved one, or how to help them deal with other big life changes.
Excellent suggestion Janet - thanks!
how to get a somewhat immature 9 year to be able to stay home alone, have to work no child care this summer. why dose my 8 year old still scream and cry when he is mad or dose not get what he wants? watch videos tried them, and I worrie he has something wrong with him.
A Mc, the good news is that you can increase the maturity level of your kids through consistent application of principle - keep watching these videos! You might try this one next: czcams.com/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/video.html The bad news is that your 9-year-old might not be ready to stay home alone. That's a hassle I know, but if he/she is not mature enough for that level of responsibility and control, the responsibility remains with you to provide supervision, either yourself or through delegation (child care or babysitting). That is a developmental issue and may also have legal implications. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but we have to adjust according to the maturity level of our kiddos. DrPaul
can u please make a video about how to be more patient or how to keep myself calm even when my kids are driving me nuts.or how to be mad but not react like if iam.
Yes, holy church, keep watching, there are more videos coming.
I recommend meditation , and practice being contious of your body language.
You are amazing!!! I have been binge watching your parenting videos the last two days lol. My husband and I have a 7month old son 😍 our first. We love looking up parenting tips and everything. At a young age I decided to learn everything I could to make sure my future children would be raised well!!!! With mine and my husband's childhoods, we know what not to do. Your videos are a blessing- YOU are a blessing, so thank you very much for spreading your wisdom 😄
I do however, have only one issue. You said to subtract something the child DOES want in order to decrease a behavior. That seems backwards to me, because that would enable the child to think materialistically. They would begin to think the only way they will be happy is to have that specific item(s).
What are your thoughts on this?? Are there alternatives?? Is this something I should worry about as a parent??
Thank you Dr. Paul!!!
Hi Emily (and husband). Great question. I love that you are thinking like a positive conscious parent. You're right that we don't want to become too materialistic or have that be our focus. Developmentally, we are gradually moving the motivation from external to internal. This is why: czcams.com/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/video.html
Honored to be on your team! You'll love our new Parenting Power-up Audio Course. Get on the pre-order list here: parentingpowerup.com
DrPaul
Thank you so much Dr. Paul for taking time out of your busy day to give some awesome feed back 😄 it's much appreciated, as well as you and your videos!!!!
It's getting harder to track all of the comments, but I love having engaged subscribers like you! DrPaul
M
Take away something they don’t like! That makes no sense. If they don’t like it, they won’t be bothered!
You make a good point, Patricia Moore! When I said take away something they don't like, I was referring to the child taking away whining (or screaming or pleading) once they get what they want, like candy at the store. For parents, you would take away something the child DOES want, like screen time. If they know that they will lose something desirable, we hope the child will learn to increase a desired behavior. I hope that makes more sense! : )
Great explanation! That makes so much sense! I would benefit from more explanations of behavioral psychology related to parenting topics 👍
Gina McGrew, I can do that.
this the way you explained went really over my head.. literally
Watch some of the other videos. We go over the content in different ways.
Thank you. I needed this so much. I have 2 kids one is HSP and some sensory sensitiveness. My husband yells I end up so overwhelmed I end up yelling g. I dont want to raise my kids the way I was. I feel so guilty and like a horrible mom.
Glad it was helpful! Adrienne Fegan, watch some videos and decide to change one thing at a time, don't try to do everything at once.
Negative reinforcement can also apply when you go no contact with a narcissist. They will harrass you, and try to wear you down until you give in and talk to them, thus rewarding them for their bad behaviour. They probably learned this when they were babies, and learned they could get whatever they wanted by crying and screaming.
Enrico Sanchez, stay strong, my friend.
My daughter is on the spectrum with receptive language delays. This child loves to read and spell, but understanding what the word means is very hard for her, so her communication is very limited, she is 5 years old, she associates words meaning to where she heard the words the first time, for instance the first time I took her to mailbox it was empty, now everytime she sees the mailbox she says empty! Even if there is mail in it,
Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV, rabeena khan. We have several videos on the channel that may be helpful to you and your daughter. You can start with the "Dealing With Kids with Special Needs" playlist - czcams.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCQLcx-1EjW7hyl-7SKU7BQ.html. If you search "Live On Purpose language," you will find more. Thank you for being a positive, dedicated parent; best wishes to you.
I am on the spectrum myself and had similar issues. The best thing for me was to just get continued help, love and support. I just se it as some things taking longer for us on the spectrum to learn and process but we will get there. Don't compare too much to other kids.
I love this video. Awesome! So important in training our kids and spouse. Lol
Thank you!
Brilliant just brilliant thank you
sharonat, you are welcome.
Great video! Like all the other ones you do! Love it!
Thanks Pati - honored to be on your team! DrPaul
😍
Hi
You ave another video on the same topic after which I didn't understand quite clearly what you mean. Now, with the whiteboard I feel I got it.
Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Dr. Paul...I have 6 yr old girl in Gr2. Lately, at bedtime, she will not let me go and will follow me out of the room or start engaging with her older sister. If I take myself out of the bedtime routine is this considered Negative Reinforcement...taking something away that she likes? She doesn't want her Dad to tuck her in, so if he does will the behavior stop? If so, when do I go back to tucking her in? If she starts again, do we go back to Daddy tucking her in again? It seems obvious but I need to know I am on the right track here. Thanks.
Sounds like you are on the right track. If she isn't obeying, take you out of the equation until you think she can do it.
Great video! Made me laugh throughout also😁👍🏻
Glad you enjoyed it! DrPaul
Excellent video.. We are trying but yeah.. I think we need to out smart our child.... I would like add one input for all new parents.. identify these behaviours and train your self before your child turn 1.5 yrs.. also after that also as a start.. pls write all bad behaviours and your strategy on paper.....
It is kind of a game, and it takes some strategy for sure. Glad you're tuned in! DrPaul
what positive & negative reinforcers do you recommend for toddlers who scream during naptime at preschool? As professional educators obviously we can’t use reinforcement that parents might be able to use
I don't know the set up but there might be another place they can be taken and you can offer a fun activity After nap if they aren't screaming. Do they dovthis at home? What does the parent say?
Love your teaching it helps me allot but do have question I have outburst of yelling not often but over stupid stuff like literally spills ,she's a very picky water so I make a variety of foods to give her choices. Well if she doesn't like it she throws it on the floor. I dnt nessecarly yell at her but at the situation. How can i teach her positive instead of negative. Like the can do's not the don't.
Sondra Hudson, I would have her pick up the food on the floor and wipe up the mess. Explain to her that if we don't like something, we don't throw it on the floor. She is get tired of having to pick it up.
My kids are 11&13 my 11 year old gets bad reactions for my daughter is constantly agrovated wanting instant gratification. So when she is angry and he happens to be near she can take it out on him as he is lower on the totem pole. However. I told my son on visitation one time. Give her a hug no matter how mean n angry she is. Then walk away or talk if she is willing to. The fallow up visit. He explained how the outcome was. However I had no idea what would be the outcome though doing the same thing expecting a different results is by definition insanity. So when he did as I asked. He noticed she was less angry with him and more so with their grandma whom they live with.
I offer this to show how I applied this idea. Befor even seeing the video. Thank you sir. For your efforts to help us be the best we can be
Thank you, Michael ORTA, good way to show that we love them no matter what and even if...
When I try ignoring the whining/begging my child escalates into breaking things. This behavior then cannot be ignored. What is the next progression because it forces us to devote attention, the very thing he wants?
Put him in a place where he cannot break anything. Give him consequences.
Thank you so much. We are getting free education from you 🙏🙏🙏
Chynar, exactly what I hoped to happen when I started the channel.
This is really awesome 👍👍
So glad you liked it Regie! Also, you might like the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that's coming out soon. We have some specific tips and tricks for parents that you might find very helpful. Connect here: parentingpowerup.com - DrPaul
I wish I had found this sooner. My wife utlimately gives into our child when she screams enough. She screams so loudly I am concerned I am going deaf and literally have started wearing shooting headphones to protect my hearing. Unfortunately I have totally lost my patience at this point. There is absolutely no punishment when she screams. I have no idea how to get back to a place where I can be calm for more than about 3 seconds into her screaming. She'll scream while in our car and it so loud and abrupt I was startled so badly I almost swerved into another car. Not to mention the times she'll take off her shoes and through them full force at me while driving.
I feel like I am trapped in hell and my wife doesn't want to go to a therapist with her. What on god's green earth can I do? My blood pressure spikes to the point that my doctor said I need to watch as I am up into the critical zone where I could have a stroke or heart attack. I try taking deep breathes and walking away but my daughter will chase me and hit me or throw things at me. I need somehow of breaking this cycle. My wife can be calm as heck with her but ultimately will give into her and the cycle just keeps building. So anything helpful techniques to try and get centered and deal with this? My wife keeps throwing it all on me and saying I am not being calm enough. Try being calm when your child is trying to explode your eardrums. My Apple watch recorded her screams at 100-110 db. Over 110 db can cause instantaneous hearing loss. This is a serious safety issue.
My wife is on the right track with being calm but she won't ride it out and give into our daughter. I can wait her out but can't be calm enough with her when her screams are jackhammering my ear drums.
Things are not going to change until your wife sees there is a problem. Get some counseling for yourself. Then some changes can be made.
My neighbor has a 12 year old that rises up and down the street screaming. It's NOT happy kid screaming. It is blood curdling. The mother does NOTHING.
So sad for the child, Poolpile. They obviously have a need that is not being met.
This is kinda off topic but my partner believes using food as a treat for good behavior like a reward is a bad thing.
I disagree but I was raised differently, like if I didn't eat all my dinner then I didn't get a piece of chocolate/icecream (when it was an option/being offered).
But I'm not a professional on this stuff, so I was wondering what your opinion on using edible treats as a motivator/incentive for them to do something is?
I'm not opposed to using treats as incentives as long as they are used in moderation and in the context of a variety of other reinforcers, (praise, hugs, etc.). The concern is typically related to creating unnecessary emotional attachments to food, which shouldn't be an issue if we are using wisdom and discretion. Thank you for watching and commenting, Philip Williams.
Ugh.. I tried each and every one of them.. My 4 year old is just not attached to anything at all.. If I say "okay, I'm taking away your phone until you learn to talk nicely to your sibling and your parents". He says "okay"
If I say "if you hit your sister one more time, you'll have to clean up your entire room without my help" He says "okay mom"
I'm like wth
Shraddha you're on the right track. Sometimes kids try to take the wind out of our sails by simply showing they don't care about consequences. Don't be too quick to buy into it. Sometimes when kids tell me they don't care about a consequence my response is, "Oh good, then neither of us will be upset about it." and follow through anyway. I think you might also appreciate the Parenting Power-up Audio Course I did with my wife, Vicki. You can get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com
DrPaul
That was my daughter's response too. Take it away anyway. I don't think you kid believes you will follow through.
Add something they don't want. For my son it was time out. He hated time out. Now that he's older I threaten to turn the modem off - I've never had to do that yet, the threat alone stops him in his tracks.
Your 4 year old has a phone? That sounds like an issue in its self
WTF, Your 4 year old has a phone? I am Suprised.
One problem is when you live in a building. Be ready for an eviction notice while trying to get the screaming issue fixed. My kid can scream dead people out of their graves. Duct tape is illegal. We are stuck at an impasse.
gunsboy77, that is difficult. I do not advocate the duct tape. Talk to your pediatrician and see if there is a problem that hasn't been diagnosed.
Hey Dr. Paul, I am really loving your videos. I understand the positive vs negative punishment but how do you handle the screaming or "i hate you"s or "i guess mom doesn't like me" whining, pouting when they are given the punishment? Ive also tried your method with a bag of things they like (right now there are dollar bills) and this happens when i have to take a dollar out. I stay calm and empathetic like you teach. Sometimes there's screaming or sometimes my 4 year old will say, "fine! Take all my money!" Please help. I have two boys, age 6 and 4.
Above all, stay calm. Speak matter-of-factly and let your children know that you would be happy to talk to them when they are talking to you like you are talking. Don't argue, ignore the pouting and you can put them in another room until they are done.
thank you sir...
Nitin Kumar, you are welcome.
My 3-year-old daughter has always had and still has tantrum episodes every single day. It’s humiliating. Bedtime is so stressful EVERY DAY! And this is not the only time she is out of control. I have tried it all; routine, stories, positive reinforcement, games, etc., still, nothing works. We can't figure it out...we would appreciate your input... I'm all ears!!! Thanks!!!
Cristina Sulzener, you can speak with one of our Live On Purpose Coaches by scheduling a breakthrough call at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Thank you for your videos, we are having a very hard time with our 3 year old. His screams reverberate inside your brain and I end up always yelling. He screams when you say no, when he doesn't get to do what he wants and sometimes just because. I will try to implement some negative punishments and hopefully it works.
Hannah Williamson, that is a tough one. I hope it helps.
Consider using earplugs. As long as you still hear your kid and can talk to them I don't think there is anything wrong with using earplus around screaming children. You'll be more calm around your kid, because yelling at them isn't good.
A 3 year old screaming is because they are having big feelings and they want to be heard. You are trying to stop their feelings instead of teaching them coping skills. What works best is saying something like i see that you are having a hard time im right here. Get down to their level and in the calmest voice you can muster say do you need a hug? A screaming 3 year old needs connection not punishment.
I’m a grandmother ! And I’m helping my daughter with 3 kids home school 🏫 and they scream to much if I take way their tablet 🙃and the screening gave me a bud headache 🤕 I’m about to stop helping her ! I come home sick 😷
Maria, have your daughter put away the tablets before you arrive and let the kids know that they will get them back if they behave while you are there. I hope it works.
I totally agree with this but it's difficult when my spouse and my mother in law give in or give him negative attention. How would I go about handling a swimming against the current situation? They both want me to spank/yell at our 18month old for screaming. I refuse to approach him negatively, especially since he obviously does not know to control his emotions or communicate effectively, yet.
RepairedHippo0, it can be difficult to parent positively when there are others who use a different parenting style. I think it's worth the effort to get everyone on the same page (which is sounds like you have tried that.) Do you think they would be willing to watch a video or 2? If so, I recommend you sharing this video with them, but perhaps another one first so they understand where I'm coming from: "What Are The Three Main Parenting Styles?" - czcams.com/video/R4_QImn1GD8/video.html. If they don't care to watch the videos, maybe you can take your child into another room when he's screaming so the noise is less intense for your spouse and mother-in-law, and then you can speak to him as you wish.
This is common sense to me. I was looking for a video to help me in regards to my special needs 3 yr old who literally screams all day long. I'm at a loss because she's delayed and nothing seems to work 😞
Chrissy Decker, I wish you the best. I hope you check out some of the other videos on the playlist.
I always challenge myself, if I can't outsmart a 3 yo, I should be ashamed of myself
fred jones, there are some smart 3 year olds out there! I get what you mean, take the challenge and do your best.
I love to watch this guy, while im stoned AF.
Frezent Esen, I hope some of the message sticks.
Hi I wonder if you have a video on how to help my child to keep their hands to themselves I'm really having problems with my four-year-old daughter her preschool teacher keeps telling me that they have a problem with her keeping her hands to herself and I tried it here at home as well but she just doesn't care about anything she tells me okay whatever like I don't know what to do.
Margarita Duenas, I will add this to the topic development list.
6-year-old screams when I try to discipline him. For example, When I try to give him his salad when keeps saying no, he screams and cries. should I still continue to force him to have it?
Mahyar Gholami, I am a little confused about the discipline and the food. Not sure I have enough or the right information to comment. Check the videos on the playlist about how to get kids to eat or picky eaters.
Could you give me example for 2 n half year old screaming , when u try n communicate more theres more screaming how would i implement this , kinda confused please
aqsa latif, I am not sure I understand, but I will give it a go. If they are screaming, you can't talk to them. It is called weathering the storm. When they calm, you can talk to them about what they can do to handle their emotions and role play some things they can do.
Doesn’t work well when you’re in public or at a hotel. Instead your kid just screams until you get kicked out....
Ro3 Joe, Could you take the child to a car? I have stepped out of grocery store a time or two and put the child in the car to scream it out while I stood outside. They learn pretty quick.
My son has ADHD he's 5 and in pre k everyday I get a report that he knocks down chairs and throws classroom supplies on the floor.
At home he doesn't not act this way. He's taking meds and sees a professional on he's behavior but I've trying to coach him on what to do when he gets frustrated, sit down take a break breath and relax. I feel he might get kicked out of School. The principal already said we must do something about it. I feel were doing our best but doesn't seem to be making a difference.
Chris Velasquez, sounds like you need to get together with a team from the school and write up a 504 or IEP where it is spelled out what happens when this behavior occurs.
What if one kid screams at the other for teasing? I don’t know how to get my kid to stop expressing their anger at a sibling by screaming. What would you suggest?
Hi Janelle - we've got a lot of titles here in our Positive Parenting playlist on the channel. There are several episodes there that would apply. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that Vicki (my wife) and I just recorded. You can get a free sample listen here: parentingpowerup.com
DrPaul
any positive or negative reinforcement does not work on my 4 year old. he always wants things as he wants. whenever I tried negative reinforcement he starts crying or gets fussy. he does not like to share his things. I m so upset how tu deal him
Sidra Choudhary, you may want to consider our Parenting Power-Up Program or a membership at Live On Purpose Central or some individual coaching.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV can you please share details with me?
So back in sheeerrriiink school 🤣
Thanks for watching.
Well, my aunt's son always screamed at their mom and dad, his mom tried to teach him not to scream but ended up screaming back at him. Next time when he screams again, she complains to me "why my kid always screams the hell out of me", yeah you just didn't realize that every time he did thing wrong, you screamed at him a lot. LMAO
Stupid Cat, some people don't realize the hypocrisy, others feel justified in their yelling. I just hope this channel teaches parents how to be more clam and loving. Glad you're here - thanks for watching.
That is very Old Skool - you yell at me, so I'ma yell at you. Like it?
I love how I'm not even a parent yet I'm watching this XD
Gaming Champion, glad to have you at the channel.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks I do babysit and it was really helpful
Whenever I take my child out maybe a mall, he will running and screaming, showing that he is happy to be out , what do i do? He is 20 months old .
Well, 20 months old is pretty young. You may need to put him in a stroller or hold him. There are places to play in the mall for children and I am sure he will not continue to show his exuberance much longer, DeeDee George Honein.
what if ignoring the behavior makes everything even worse than before and the child just sits and does nothing except bad behaviors example bad behavior started only at home and then move to school
Thank you for watching, Angel Hust. If the child continues to have bad behavior, then it's time to implement consequences. For ideas on consequences, please watch these videos:
"Consequences For Misbehavior | 6 Specific Examples" - czcams.com/video/Fbcwp9na04Y/video.html
"How To Use Natural And Logical Consequences" - czcams.com/video/ZFZIIuqEVdY/video.html
You may also want to consider taking advantage of the free 25 minute coaching call that I mentioned before: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
This doesn't work for me. I've tried ignoring my 3 year old's screams and it gets worse and worse he doesn't stop. I don't know what to do anymore nothing works!
Maxine Taut, he is trying to wear you down. You have to stay stronger so he can see that he won't get to you. Put him in another room and tell him that when he can talk to you like you are talking to him (calmly), then he can come out.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks actually it kinda worked yesterday lol. I ignored his screams and eventually he stopped screaming since it didn't get him anywhere 😂😂😂...He ended up hugging me and kissing me then he went off to sleeep lol.
My kids scream while playing....do I use the same techniques? Trying to get them to use inside voices, to respect other people's space, keep them from being so loud
WolfCreek Sparx, thanks for watching and trying to understand. If your children are screaming and crying for something, then yes, apply these techniques. If they are simply playing loudly without wanting anything, then I would say ask them to play more quietly and if they don't, you can start applying consequences.
My nephew started screaming and we learned that he got it from Peppa Pig as the brother George literally screams all the time! Be careful what your kids watch 😣 I hope this helps
Kayla Henry, consequences for hitting and rewards for not hitting.
I have a 10 year boy doing this anger but makes me up set seeing him sad but can't give in
Matty Mobbs, you are right - don't give in. That lets children know that their screaming works to get what they want. I hope the video helped. We have more on our Positive Parenting playlist: czcams.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
Thank you for watching.
Reward and punishment systems arent the answer. They are only are short term solutions and dont set up a lasting internal positive behavior system in your child. This only sets them up to think of themselves when they make choices and only "what can I get from this?" Or "How does this benefit me? And if it doesnt, then why bother" they wont be able to empathize. Try watching Lori Petro"s videos or check out her Teach Through Love website. It makes way more sense than this and works wonders...not only with parenting but how you see yourself.
I get an aww shucks vibe.
Haha! Well, thanks for watching, John Kinsey.
How do you remove a non existant payoff?
If my daughter is screaming or whining for candy or a toy in the store, how can I take away the payoff that she’s not gonna get anyway?
David Carlander, you may have to remove her from the store.
I believe that you need to stop the child's screaming. If you don't then you are sending the message that it is okay to make as much noise as they want to, for as long as they want to, and to offend as many people as possible.
If you don't correct that behavior, then this screaming will very easily and very quickly become a permanent habit of theirs.
Children should be taught at an early age, to respect the rights of others, and to not offend them with their constant distractions and their primitive animal screams.
If it takes too many years to correct them, they might develop a deep-down psychological belief that they can do anything they want, and Other People Don't Matter.
Rendor Williams, yes, quieting the child is good for all the reasons you stated. However, I do not believe in corporal punishment, and parents should be very careful if they feel like putting their hand over the child's mouth or something like that. Getting physical is risky, which is why I proposed the "negative punishment" method. Thank you for the commenting.
Correction vs punishment as the descriptive word...in other situations
Good point, JJ Cevering. Thank you for watching.
does the positive punishment work for toddlers between 3-5yrs? i find me most of the time negotiating....."do this or you wont get that !! you dont do this then you wont get this !! " and honestly i feel i m always dealing with an International delegate......................always on negotiation.
I have heard this before, many times, BEAUTY WITH A TWIST. Start when they are young and it should work.
My son has chronic ADHD iam going to try this thanks
Wonderful! I wish you well.
I love it videos. Thank u.
Thanks Sana - look into the other videos on our Positive Parenting playlist here on the channel for more ideas. Also, I think you'll love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course coming soon. Get a preview here: parentingpowerup.com
DrPaul
Live On Purpose TV definitely. I am. I have to watch them a few times to get the hang of your strategies.
Can you give an example for a 2 year old screaming ?
aqsa latif, when my son was 2 and had a meltdown in the store, I took him out to the car, put him inside and stood outside until he was done. When he was done, we talked about what was happening, helped him label some of his emotions and about what he could do the next time. Does that help?
can i get an example for a one year old? thank you.
One year old is pretty young, you may just have to remove them from the situation.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you so much. God bless you.
in a nut shell....... my 8 year old has not been so good despite using your advice, no offense. I think with him it will take longer is all. I told him 2 weeks ago if he for the most part is good we will this Friday go to mini golf. well he was not. now he get a consequence of some sort with every bad behavior. and lost going to mini golf. I question if I overly punished him so to speak, because he gets a consequence for every time he is "bad" plus loosing mini golf. Friday his school is out, and it happen to be my b-day so I was really looking forward to it. I try to be god with fallow through of what I say, but some fear I may have gone to far, or maybe I have not. my mom of 4 is not sure either. we rarely do to finances have to funds to do anything together. there are other things to do there also.
A Mc, you're on track here. Consistency and emotional regulation on the part of the parent is huge. I'm glad that you're asking the question of whether you might be over punishing - keep an eye on that. Congratulate yourself and your son for the small improvements - celebrate what is going well and give that at least as much emphasis as the correction. Keep watching - we've got a bunch of videos here in the Positive Parenting playlist that you might find helpful. DrPaul
hugs to you for caring!
Honored to be on your team!
Can you make one for kids?
I'm a kid and I need some help because I might get clicked out and be homeless in the cold with my mum:(
I just hope this helps:(
edit: I ask my mum for things to help me with but she is working so much and takes anger out on me and I am trying to help my mum with me but she just ignores me so am I behaving badly or not?!?
I just am trying to help her and maybe I will show her this video but gtg rn!
bye! :(
Жюли Реше, I think I have a good video for you:
"What To Do When Your Parents Are Over Protective?" - czcams.com/video/a4EAyWRYEeM/video.html
It may not sound like a helpful video, but there is some good advice. We have more on our "Just for kids and teens" playlist: czcams.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV.html
I certainly hope you do not become homeless. Best wishes to you and your Mum!
But dont we just teach the child that they shouldnt whine, because if they do, they'll get punished?
narko, they should have consequences.
I just mean minus. Come on guy work with me here.
My apologies for any misunderstanding on my part.
do not scream in front of them at home
Agreed.
Thankyou because I am going nuts omg.
USA Dating African Men & Culture, you're welcome, I sincerely hope the video helped. We have more for you on our Positive Parenting playlist: czcams.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV.
Hmmm you could also mix a little lemonade with a lot of bourbon and put them in the sippycup… that would knock the little sh*ts right out!
That might not be legal.
@@LiveOnPurposeTVjust kidding of course but the issue is it’s my neighbors kids scream all freakin night and I can hear it.
What will work on the neighbor’s kids. They make my ears bleed.
Sidney Bristow, a no screaming zone. Can't enter the house and scream.
Its my brother
Ramauld Ramharack, I hope the video helps.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks man it helped a little but then i realised he watched me and sceamed then laughed when i watched in shock.
I’m confused on the negative reinforcements 🧐
Patricia Moore, negative reinforcement means you take away something to increase behavior.