How To Deal With People Who Take Advantage Of You
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- čas přidán 28. 07. 2024
- Setting boundaries is important especially when you're being taking advantage of. Learn ways to set boundaries so you can go live your own happy ever after.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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Video by Nate Woodbury
BeTheHeroStudios.com
/ natewoodburyhero
#LiveOnPurpose
#PositiveParenting
"If you're a giver, be sure to set your limits, because the takers don't have any."
MadRazz, great quote.
@ MadRazz what a profoundly true statement.
They really don’t
True, don’t follow them!
That's for sure!!!!!!!
You can forgive others, and still not have anything to do with them.
Yes, you can.
I recommend it! That way no possibility of more cruddy behavior to forgive in the future. Boundaries are excellent.
I totally agree
The problem is when the toxic persons are from your family and you are linked to them with important financial interests. There is no other options there than to fight them.
YES THANK YOU!
I said the words “No, I can’t help” yesterday and it felt amazing. Ready to start practicing standing up for myself.
Excellent me too, I'm so nice I'm starting to say no more
You got this! Mizz Mimi, you are ready to take control.
MzRadio Producer, and you are still a nice person when you say no. You are reserving the best part of you for those who mean the most and not overtaxing yourself.
Yep alot of horrible people out there
True, but there are many selfish folk who will never lift a finger to help anyone, because they are too self-centered to do anything other than putting themselves first.
“I forgive you” = “I release you, and all the pain and suffering being tied to you comes along with. I release our association. You are forgiven any outstanding debt to me, emotional, physical, or otherwise, in order for me to break free from the likely possibility of future losses with you.”
beautifully said.
Yeah, it never gets better. They never stop asking, begging. They never pay you back.
I love this. Exactly how that’s said. Mind if I keep it saved somewhere to use?
@@shannonsmith924 sure
thanks. glad to help.
Always learn to say no always regardless of the circumstances. People who take advantage of others are the kind of people who don't know how to deal with their own problems.
We need to see that as an option, when we do, we can act on it.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Saying no to manipulative people is always important. I have no respect for people who take advantage of others because they expect them to take care of their problems for them. Some people will never learn nor take responsibility for themselves when they don't know how to deal with their own problems.
accurate
YES TO GOD . a friend i know will say no and then offer another option or suggestion instead of saying yes all the time anymore like he used to. As a christian refusing people for food or shelter is not right unless it was an unsafe situation
I love how you said:" you get to decide how far people can come to take advantage of you"..
Agreed. So powerful when it sinks in deep.
To whoever reads this you are not alone. God bless and keep you and may you find peace and the love you deserve. You are worthy ❤
Alize Malone, love your support and positivity.
Kindness but with strong boundaries
Yes!
I just stopped taking her calls. Blocked her completely after 35 years of a declining friendship. She's tried to contact me ( to have the last word ) I texted her a final farewell and have never looked back!
So glad that I was kind to myself, cut off a toxic relationship with resolve and moving forward without any burden. 😊
ada casas, good for you.
I’m
Had to do the same thing. I Will No Longer Be Blamed for being myself....and you can't take it!! ✌️💗
@@shelll9254 Amen! You totally speak for me in terms of a friend to finally just color-blocked
If anyone is toxic set strict boundaries! Don’t be comfortable with them but don’t make them feel that you hate them. Say NO when needed. Let those people out of your life if you can! Don’t trust people too much! They can betray after YEARS!!!
Thanks for commenting, Mariam Abukamar.
This is great advice.
The problem is, nearly everyone says 'no' now. It's an assault course of immense, ongoing frustrations in some places with a high rejection rate if you want to accomplish things or even make genuine friendships.
@@clarecorcoran8585 ? Agree to disagree
I treat people good and they dont do the same.I tell myself not do it but end up doing it again.
..take it to the Lord and leave it there..💯🙏
D. Royal, yes.
Higher power
It's awful how I had to embrace being called selfish for not wanting to let someone else force life altering decisions on me.
michelle blakely, I wish you the best.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thankyou
Yep. That’s what mother calls me
I totally understand
@@tatianahawaii13 Yeah, but she's probably right.
As they say on the airplane, secure your own life vest before helping anyone else with theirs...
So true
Exactly
Excellent!
Yes, "Letting go" is the best way to explain forgiveness. Thank you for explaining all of this.👋
Ana Long, You are very welcome.
Everytime I have money people are always happy and when the money is all gone they are completely different
Henry Redfern, I wouldn't let people know I have money. They need to like you for you.
Make sure you don’t spend any on them when you do have more
…then those are not your people
Sad fact!
There's several blues tunes about it.
Dr Ramani says that forgiving narcissists is taken by them as permission to do it again. Be careful with who you forgive.
You can forgive and have boundaries.
I just text someone a message and was assertive. " "No, I'm not doing it!" I felt scared.. but powerful. Once I sent it...I felt free. ❤️❤️❤️
Mathew Ridgeway, wonderful!
So powerful! I had a hard time setting boundaries with a good friend, because if this, I did something I wasn't able to do. As a result I fell and hurt myself and now I have a physical ailment that I have to live with for the rest of my life.
Ella Rae, so sorry to hear that.
Dear Jesus!!! This is what I needed to hear right now.
I am glad it is right on time!
I just read a book about boundaries and have heard Berne Brown say that she found that people set boundaries are the most compassionate. This blew me away. The issue of feeling like you have been taken advantage of and not having clear boundaries can lead to feelings of resentment and bitterness and disillusionment. So it’s a step on a path that no one wants to start down. Thank you for some great insights on the subject.
@Live On Purpose TV He is always on time and Not " it"!
The final point (which most people seem to miss) is turn the tables on them. Throw them a curve ball that they weren’t expecting. Don’t just continue to fall into their playbook. If you continue to react the way they expect you to react, they will continue to take advantage of you.
Doug Ronald, yes, don't give them a reaction.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Sometimes a measured reaction is appropriate. But not passivity. It should just be a reaction they weren’t expecting. For instance, it would be like throwing the ball the your weakest player to make a basket in the final seconds when they had all their players guarding your best shooter.
I forgive you is another way of saying you didnt break me.
mike will, I like that.
But for how long do you forgive...? I believe one count u can forgive but we live in a dark world where people mistake your kindness for weakness
Wow
@@kiturselassie813 unfortunately, that's when kindness is required more... Being Kind is a superpower, so don't care about others not acknowledging it :)
Well said
having courage and being kind comes off as passive aggresive
S., I am not sure why you think this. It would be in the delivery and sincerity is needed.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV you are right it is needed. i know this from experience
Just found your channel and boy o boy what I wouldn’t give to have had this valuable teaching years ago… all in Universal time I suppose. The messages are always delivered when we need them. I’m hooked on your videos. Thanks for the wisdom, strategy and guidance.
Welcome aboard! Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.
I called my mom the other day, told her that I forgave her before I seen this video and she said “ who’s listening? Who is with you”. I laughed and said good day ❤️.
Perfect! Keep laughing.
I feel like I owe my friends everything ..
And I have to be willing to do things for them and I actually do things for them that they would not do for me ...
I really want to have some boundaries ..
Sidra, if you want boundaries YOU will have to be the one to enforce them. Just because you tell someone a boundary, you don't have control over their behavior, only your own. Keep that in mind.
When I've been taken advantage of I don't always realize it at first. It takes a lot of time for me to go home and lick my wounds but I start adding things up. I helped them multiple times and now it's time to block them. My phone and social media.There is no explanation or me me kindly explaining setting boundaries. Those boundaries were already violated. The relationship is already sabotaged once you were taken advantage of.
You are the only one who will know when enough is enough and how to put boundaries in place.
This video is so empowering! I have watched it 2 or 3 times, then I actually said my “I love you, and” statement. Holy Cow! The freedom was unforgettable. His advice really works! Thank you so much Live on Purpose TV!!!!
Ashley Barker, thank you for trying it out. Yes, sometimes it does take more than one view to get something down, come back and watch for a re-run when you need it.
Just do good no matter what and be Kind. If friends used you for their benefits or someone else just used you then just break contact with them and don't talk to them anymore.
CyberZeus TV, Always be kind. So important.
It took me 50 years to say no to my mother. Her jaw dropped and she went very quiet. My father had said to me the week before that I was old enough to decide for myself. It felt amazing even though I was dreading telling her no.
So glad you were able to do this. Better days ahead.
I’ve watched like 6-8 of these type of videos. This one really broke it down properly and explained forgiveness in a way that doesn’t hurt my ego lol. Thank you for the Cinderella bit, it’s really struck a chord with me.
Goomba, you are welcome, thanks for watching.
Yeah absolutely right when family just takes a vantage of you Of your kindness and your help And doesn’t consider your feelings that’s when it’s going to stop you will figure that out sooner or later you’ll get enough of it you’ll figure it out
Thank you for watching and commenting, Sheila More.
It's not only family. That takes advantage of you it's friends to who say they really your friends I know because it happened to me multiple times that's why I really don't trust people like that I only trust me and God
I absolutely trust no one '
Oh my God you are talking about my husband’s siblings. 33 tears of taking all the time, disrespectful, acting entitled. Never once said thank you. But got mad and stopped talking when we say no.
Forgive but don’t ever forget.
This, really really, really did help. I've been taken advantage of many times. I did not realise it until it was too late. A boundary marks self-respect, which is built gradually for some. It is an imperative to establish the boundary, even if we feel we are rocking our own world and it might come apart at the seams. I love the inflection with 'and'. It's not dismissing or disrespectful, it's establishing solid concreted territory. Thanks very much for doing this, it really helped.
Rob, thanks for taking the time to let me know it was helpful for you. I appreciate that.
Thank you, after long time of struggling with family members and going through counseling and watching countless videos, reading, i was understanding intellectually but could do it. Stuck in the place for years. This is a great video. Your example of Cinderella struck Chord with me. It opened up so many doors and i saw through the veil. I found my prince my awareness and said good bye, forgave them and also forgave myself. First time feeling free and light. Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea what I went through this morning. This is so profound. I know the anger will peak through now I know how to deal with it without getting too caught up. I figured out what that anger means i was holding on. Thank you Thank you Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
Raja Rag, you are very welcome.
You are so great at navigating good people through nasty situations! And I Love the use of popular media in this example. Your content is very enjoyable and I always learn so much. Thank you!
How gratifying, Rachel Glurich. Thank you for watching.
Make sure you understand the difference bwtween being kind and being taken advantage of! Sometimes you dont realise your own strengths until someone tries to take advantage of your weaknesses cause that will happen. Not everyone appreciates people like us and what we do for them it puts us down! People will go out of their way to hurt others and they dont care. Its jealousy cant they cant and wont let others be happy. Dont let people walk all over you. Dont listen to what comes out their mouth they are wrong! Dont let then dictate what you can and cant do thats control thats not right, stand your ground and dont listen. Stay safe! Listen to your heart not your mind, your heart is always right.
Thanks for the support and encouragement. We can do this.
I recently am in a relationship i've decided to end and I appreciate the options you have discussed in this video.
Honored to be on your team, Vanessa Holley. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😁
I personally feel semantics are important in cutting the negative cords with people. I feel saying 'i am letting you go, have a nice life' is straight to the point. To say' i forgive you' suggests to that person that they are being let off the hook for their abuse!
Summer Breeze, there is also intent here. I am forgiving you so I can move past this and not get dragged down by it. I am forgiving you so I can be free and move on. I hear you and you get a little more clear.
Your voice is as powerful as your message. I love watching this, every time I see your vids in my feed. Keep up the great work
Sean GoneWrong, thank you for your kind words, another recording day is on the books.
You put things in such a good humour mood that it's nice to watch 🙂 Thank you for all the videos.
You are welcome, aljezur07. I'm so honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
Real friends don't expect anything from you. I'll be happy to help them when it is a REAL friendship. When it's reciprocal. Or I then just "Kindly separate" from them.
Thank you, wise advice. Not everyone in our lives stays forever.
I can't believe i have been taken so much advantage of that i have bitten by my friend who got drank ,sure his biggest excuse was that he was drank but this video has brought me to tears because in that moment i felt so weak and even though i was largely more built than he was in that moment it had occurred to me that everything in a way had happened because i didn't sent my boundaries this word has triggered in me deep thankyou
Mwangelwa Kabuku, you are very welcome.
Your message has Godly wisdom 👍
Honored to be on your team.
This was wonderfully helpful, especially the discussion on forgiveness. Thank you so much.
Susan Coffey, you are very welcome.
Your speaking style has my attention, you are a good speaker! I didn’t look at the comments once until the video was over.
Awesome! Thank you! Glad you are here, Beans.
Thanks for taking the time in providing us with these great tips. Blessings.
M M, my pleasure.
You are so comforting in the way you speak. Subscribed
Honey Baby, thank you, welcome to the channel.
I needed to hear this I am struggling and I thankfully came across this video for extra advice and it was worth it. Thanx again.
You are so welcome!
You made me smile and give me the courage to ACT!
Rotate Aviation, honored to be on your team.
Dr. Paul, this is so so so good, thank you !
Susan Cunning, thank you for watching.
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! Thank You!
I'm so glad! alindartist, honored to be a part of your team.
wow that's a life changing definition of forgiveness. Thanks!
You are welcome, Kelly.
You are awesome and right on the mark with this video!!!!! Humanity do ya want to move ahead?? Watch this video and practice it daily!!!! Truth is Fabulous ! And speaking the truth is the way forward! Thank you!
Well said! Thank you.
Wow!! Replacing but with and!!!
The meaning is incredible, the power of the word. Thank you 🙏🏻
Heba Madi, you are welcome.
I so agree. It's brilliant.
Dr. Paul Jenkins is a good teacher.
Elier Melendez, thanks!
I like how you said practice forgiveness
I'm very bad at forgiving people and would never talk to you again.
Yes i love that one renew or release
Egoiste, honored to be on your positivity team.
Thank you! Great advise indeed :D
Another word for unforgiveness is resentment. Someone wisely said to me "choosing to hold on to resentment or bitterness is like swallowing poison - and expecting the other person to die. The only one you are hurting is yourself"
Another quote that had a major impact on my life is "it is your choice whether you take offence to something someone says or not... even when the other person's intention is to offend you." It's just another way of letting go and taking control of yourself.
Great quotes, thank you.
Great talk again, Dr. Paul!
Glad the video was helpful, Isabel Gil.
That’s where I went wrong 😑 I was renewing relationships with people who violated me rather than letting them go. I was attached to a belief and that belief became an excuse and Had remained an excuse. I’m finally saying to HELL with excuses they only attract more excuses on top of other excuses on top of peoples excuses and giving people passes because of my own excuse. I Now know what I will and won’t tolerate. Thanks.
You got this!
Omg I'm so lucky I found this video, it changed my way of thinking a lil bit and made me realise a lot of things..
Thank you very much, I'm subscribing 💫
I'm so glad! Amira Chan, welcome to Live On Purpose TV.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you Sir
Your amazing i love how you respond to everyone
I try, I hope I don't miss anyone.
Man....your advise is so amazing. Thank you so much.
My pleasure!
Im literally in tears ugh Thankyou !
You are welcome, I think. I am glad the video was helpful, marissa barragan.
Wow! I just now listened to you and your video for the very first time! And i LOVE how you just put it out there so honestly, plainly, so matter-of, factly, so down to earth, and so succinctly. I thought I had it all figured out. That love was the answer to everything, and being that love so wholly in my part, in any of my relationships. BUT, i found out that wasn't the case, especially when discovering i was once again in a relationship with yet again another narcissist. Not yet realizing they prey on people just like me. That my power is my weakness in such circumstances. Wanting to believe in the power of love and that love conquers all, but that's what they draw their supply from in all their ways, unbeknownst to us who want to live in love. It's so sick on so many levels. Like, who wants to draw from and kick down someone who just wants to love on the highest level possible and live in the bliss of that and kill and destroy it all and kick it into the dirt? Oh wait. That would be the narcisst! So, how does such a lover of all of life survive all that when they're in that wake? Hmm. Maybe my listening to someone like you and discovering how to stand up for oneself in that kind of dynamic. Plain and simple. Yes!!! I thought I had it all figured out. That love was the answer! And still, yes, I do believe that. But, at the same time. considering my experience, I can see how someone would attack all that if they're of a different mind. That narcissistic mind. Find the weaknesses and attach that. What is it that is most important to you that you shared with me? Love and connection is most important to you? Ok. Thanks! That's exactly the area I will attack in an effort to make you feel lesser than to devalue you so I can get my narcissistic supply. So, yes, thank you for your guidance in helping to learn how to deal with such things and people. It's very, very important, especially to us lovers of love!!!
Thank you, I wish you the best.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you too. And I must say, I love your sense of humor in the way you put it out there. You make me laugh! So awesome! hahaha!
Thank's I needed this! 💥
William Maldonado, glad you are here at Live On Purpose TV.
I love the way you put a different perception on everyday words to help build confidence 😊🤗🤗
Nick N, thank you.
I am very glad I found this chanel!
After 2 videos and I feel a better wearness about life!
Leo Costa, thank you for letting me know. We are honored to be on your team.
Courage and be kind. But I am kind. I just don't have Courage.... Practice forgiveness... I get to desde how far people get close to me I Deside. I Love you. But you will not take advantage of me. Love the way you put all this. Ty. Creating a whole new relationship.
Jamie Cee49, Sounds like you got this.
Great teacher... Thank you
Thank you, Vicky Kale, honored to be on your team.
This was SUPER. Thank you for giving us practical ways on how to move on from mistreatment. Thank you 🙏🏽
Glad it was helpful!
Very much benefitting from your wisdom, thank you.
S M, thank you for watching.
Thanks for this AWESOME VIDEO.
Glad you liked it!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Roseland McGuire, glad we have CZcams to connect.
That and/but thing was awesome! Thank you!
You're welcome!
This was very helpful and timely for something I’m going through now. Thanks for posting ❤
Jason Oud, our pleasure. Good luck to you.
Years ago I let go of a grudge of a family member who was awfully mean to me as a kid and when I tried to tell them I for gave them they denied the whole thing which made me furious. I guess nobody likes to admit when they are wrong
You are right, William Ridley, but they know the truth and when you forgive, you let go. Good for you to attempt the difficult conversation.
Awesome renew or release! Thank you
Our pleasure!
Helping people in need, and letting people take advantage of you, are totally two separate things. When you confront the abuser, they tell you you didn't want to help me, I answer this is not help you are abusing me!
Great insight.
But how many times do u have to forgive them.... if it’s happening over n over? Say people don’t get it and keep being reoffenders?!
Life with Jimmy, put boundaries into effect so it can't keep happening.
I think that is when you make a decision to release. I have done this with friends, and close family.; it is absolutely freeing, and has brought peace and calm into my life.
@@sparkytoday8455 I heard people now saying they do a living funeral for people they want out of their lives!! It sounds so morbid. It simply means…. They consider them gone?!😳
Maybe that's a relationship that you need separate yourself from.
@@flowerpower2079 yup
There was this boy, and he confessed to me; so I cried all day, but after this video I felt better and told him . Thank you
After he confessed to me, he started sending me love TikTok’s and started sending me love stuff, and I didn’t like him back, so I told him. That’s what I meant lol.
Wish you the best.
I find these so helpful- thank you!
I'm so glad!
Thank you!
You are welcome, Isabel Gil. Thanks for watching and being at Live On Purpose.
I just love you Dr Paul thank you so much for helping us informing us educating us🙏🙏🌷👏
You are very welcome, Chynar.
I knew already I was being taken advantage
I still helped these people just waiting to confirm was I thinking right
And they stopped talking to me when I they were done
And I forgive it and u have to just know who are your real friends and who are not
Just observe and be kind still 😊
I enjoyed watching and hearing your video and message. I hope to implement some of the things you talked about in the video with some people in my life. Also, I may have to check out the live action version of Cinderella.
Jason Embree, Thanks for watching and commenting. Glad to have you at the channel.
You are a natural , I love your technique and style
Thank you so much!
Great advice, Thank you.
Iza Waniek, you are welcome.
I am stronger since finding your channel. Thank you.
Thank you, Judith Robinson. Honored to be on your team.
Thank You!
You are welcome, Boi_Magicword. Thanks for being at Live On Purpose TV.
Man!! You are really amazing.
Thanks, abdulhalim yusuf mohamed. I appreciate you being at Live On Purpose TV.
This is really helpful. Thank you.
You are very welcome.
This video is spot on!
Thank you.
Thank you..am enjoying your helpful videos
Jane Struan, I am so glad.
My problem, I feel extremely guilty for not helping or doing favors, if I cannot help them, it’s awful because almost all the time the person get mad at me, and never lets me forget.
Mary Fowler, accept it and if they say anything, agree and move on. Actually move away from them.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you, I try but it’s hard, I feel like a bad person, I know you’re right, it’s usually family members. It’s hard to move on, but the older I get the more I feel in powered to say no.😞😢
If they want you to feel bad for saying no its because they're taking advantage. would they do the same for you?
When ignoring them makes them angry, apparently I need to tell them that I don't have time to listen to their selfish talk anymore. I mean, when most people I meet are users, it really ruins one's life. It's unacceptable behaviour to ruin someone's life especially a kind person.
time to change up our friendships and I am glad you are in our positive community.
I like your words and advice. Thank you from Scotland
Thank you for watching, A Leen. Honored to be on your team.
Ah!! One of my favorites! Thank you!!
Thanks! Glad you are here at the channel.
I've forgiving them but they showed me who they are and truly what there all about lesson learned I'm moving on yuk 🤢
rosa vance, glad you made the decision, better days ahead.
Very useful information...
Mini World, so grateful for you watching and being a part of our community.
You’re right. I find it hard to forgive.. I will try it in the future
Ema Carvalho, you will find some wonderful things ahead.