Narcissistic vs. Sadistic Supply
Vložit
- čas přidán 16. 05. 2024
- There are two forms of supply: narcissistic and sadistic. They both serve to buttress grandiosity, a cognitive distortion.
In any given environment, the narcissist feeds off either narcissistic supply or sadistic supply - never both.
Where the locus of grandiosity is narcissistic (example: “I am a good father, husband, or boss”) or histrionic (attention) - sadistic supply would actually be perceived as negative and result in a narcissistic injury!
Psychopaths who are also sadistic and sadists (people with the now discarded diagnosis of sadistic personality disorder) seek only sadistic supply.
Finally, borderlines alternate between the two types of supply, depending on their self-state. Like narcissists, borderlines are fantasy-prone and grandiose.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...
When a sadistic narc waits like a predator to find fault, verbally abuse 2 people with extreme anger, lost control in an instant - lasted 5 minutes, it didn't win the argument but got a dopamine rush from hate and anger, like a drug fix.
There is a great tool in this video for those of you who, for some reason, want to know if your abuser a narcissist or a borderline.
If your partner sometimes enjoys your pain and sometimes enjoys narcissistic supply, there is a high probbability that you are dealing with a borderline.
The main problem that they hide their sadistic side quite carefully, it is almost impossible to discover this side.
They are junkies. They will never stop hurting you. Your pain is they drug. And as soon you develop some tolerance for some kind of their abuse they will feel it and they increase their abuse. You must be in pain. They are able to increase the level of abuse for decades, for eternity.
You are dealing with a psychopat (call it "secondary" if you like) it means that this selfstate has no empathy. And this psychopath enjoys your pain. And in they mind you deserve this pain.
They are destroyers.
They cant help it
Go no contact
Otherwice
They will destroy you,
And they will enjoy it.
They will destroy your "relationships",
And they will enjoy it with they new supply.
Then they repeat with new supply all what they have done to you.
Enjoy it if you like.
And finally they will destroy themselves.
Agreed.
If nobody is aware of this level of evil, how is there any kind of hope?
My dad the narc, my mum the sadist, but they were a team, and they took it all out on me
Awe. I’m sorry!
Yes my Dad was the emotional manipulative Narc and my Mum was the physically abusive Sadist in order to control me and take away my feminity.
Fantastic video, thank you professor.
Love the explanation between the differences! Keep them coming😁
Your words touch my soul
Thanks this has helped me a lot with my abusive family member my brother
As always, great educational info & your hair looks good both ways. 👍
Thank you Prof.
My husband is a sadistic narcissist who enjoys setting me up in situations where he sees me suffer
Your phone is not just for watching videos but also for documentation of stuff like that so stop being a victim mentality
@@Danny099not embrace evil fight it
@@payableondeath9091
I'm sure you meant that to be helpful, but rumination occurs "mentally" until a trauma bond is healed.
@@payableondeath9091A phone is the last place to document, because of hacking. Are you new to this topic???
@@angieholt736czcams.com/video/ujQzI5PEmmc/video.htmlsi=zff63cHB6KJWipPq
He is punishing me financially (along with everything else) for over 20 years because I filed for divorce. He never gave me a divorce because he’s financially very powerful. I’m a prisoner When he’s home I always have to be subservient to him.
That is a great example but be strong. Faith is sensing in yourself the power of life itself which not just of the person but is deeper bcuz it's the power of your consciousness itself and you will get through this🙏he is attacking you with materialistic things bcuz you have grown attached but if you learn to let go and let God;see that you are more than this and believe in yourself God will bless you with more fruits of the Holy spirit that you will see when you grow🕊️Luke 17:21, Colossians 3:1-3😇God bless you🔥God is the source of all life and knows everything about you/how you have served in your life/what is going on
@@TOADaleeCoolJoie Matthew 6:19-24
@@TOADaleeCoolJoieit could be a multitude of things considering she grew comfortable with him throughout the years and then became accustomed to their lifestyle together to only end up having it used as a weapon; I have even seen one spouse inquire about wanting to freeze their account when I worked at a bank or try to go as far as to say they had fraud and dispute charges
Excellent true video. well explained.
Amazing explanation, as always!
g morning prof........
thank you again.
I heard today that my ex narc female friend just got butt implants put in. So far, she has had her teeth fixed and whitened, huge breast implants, Botox in her lips, pierced nipples, belly button and vagina, fake eyebrows, eyelashes, hair extensions, tattoos. She’s 48 and is completely possessed in my opinion. She’s also now looking for people to interview for a podcast that she’s starting! She’s also been chasing a 20 year old. She’s insane!!!
@@silversilver0 The aging narcissist! Unfortunately, she’s one of the most beautiful of woman that I’ve ever seen. Supply will last a long time.
Wow! Thank you
I totally agree with "retribution" (16:45)
Okay, then I have my answer, The people who abused me, they only used certain circumstances to bind me, but absolutely for the goal to feed of my pain, they were (or are) sadistic psychopaths. Flying under the radar was the description I needed to hear.
I wondered if they might have been narcissists with also a lot of macchiavellan traits and energy and they actually are or became successful within their own realms, but every order they seem to uphold is only to lure someone in and hurt and hurt until the victim escapes.
And I was way too prepared by my own family, I already had the right fantasy to actively search for someone who would use/abuse.
Of course I didn´t know in the beginning, but the way it developed, it was a tragedy. I cried and hoped and suffered, because I put my desperate longing to be loved by my mother in this, and he held me at not even arm´s length, earth´s length.
It was so poor, sometimes he stated that oc he always likes to be helpful, but later he could simply say he would never let someone tell him not to touch a woman if it pleases him, that women are free game.
I thought I must have misunderstood, but no. This would be the right way, how it should be on earth.
But he didn´t see any contradiction to this when he told me to overthink my decision to go off contact with my neglectful and abusive mother, because you only have one, right?
That was it, finally, when I left. But I know I am damaged, deeply, by my mother and brother. The other one was only someone who knew how to further feed on my pain, how to use what the both at home had laid out for him.
My experience with an ex confirming stay away he could become dangerous. Thank you!
Very good!
This is the closest definition/example/study I've heard describing my mother. The level of evil, abuse, pain and suffering that was put upon me EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE, has yet to be found. She not only enjoyed inflicting psychological and physical pain onto me, there was sexual gratification as well. She is a pedophile as well, so not only was my mother molesting me, her sadistic father (my grandfather) was molesting me as well. Her only goal in life was to destroy me, I literally lived in a house of horror. The level of evil I was born into, not even you Professor Sam, have identified.
I will share two small examples, when I was seven years old, I got my ears pierced twice, the first was for her to rip off both ears and the second was for me.
Around age 12 I had braces, once a month they are tightened, she wld gleeful or giddy winding her arm back, back handing in the mouth as hard as she could. I wld cry and my mouth wld bleed, she wouldn't let me cover my mouth with my hand, she wld hit my hand away, she got off more in a sexual manner watching me cry and bleed. Absolutely horrific day to day life!
This just breaks my heart!
I'm so sorry you had to experience that 😢
I was horrified to read this. I hope you are able to find some healing in your life! I thought my mother and childhood was bad…but there is always worse. Prayers for you! No one should have to endure that kind of childhood and life!
Very sorry to hear that , seek help.
We
W is 3:56 w
Dr. Vaknin, what are the time ranges a borderline will stay in secondary psychopath mode? Thank you.
Few hours up to a few days.
dear professor: I don't know if you are into movies, but I think you'll enjoy the 2011 film by Steve McQueen' "Shame", because all the traits that are shown in it. I'm looking forward for your answer.
Sam, can you please give more descriptive examples of what behaviours are what? How what exactly would constitute as sadistic behaviour? Or, is it not specific behaviours and more the intent behind it that's of most relevance?
Search the channel for "sadism"
This makes all kinds of sense. My father was a sadistic narcissist, my ex-husband, a garden variety narcissist. You have clarified for me why they were different. Neither had any compunction about hurting others, but they were different. That was confusing. The lifting of a sense of confusion helps. Thank you
Yes and if they have a terminal illness, moreso, it seems in my case!!!!!! So odd but true!
You just describe both my brother and sister, fraternal twins.
I’m being stalked by a very sadistic malignant narcissist…. She is both addicted to narc supply and sadistic supply
You know bobbi doll?!
My ex partner has been stalking me for 30 years after the divorce! He and his relatives spread disturbing stories everywhere in this town. Also he tells stories online making me look bad. This goes on for 30 years!! His followers have hit me by car rather badly three years ago.
My house has been burglarized for about 20 times!!! They convinced the police about their opinions and I didn't get proper help from the police when I needed it after those burglaries. Now I have safety systems with video cameras.
He and his relatives have also poisoned the minds of my neighbours and for twenty years or so the neighbours act really weird!!
Do you think my ex partner might be a sadistic narcissist?
I have severe anxiety and depression and I tried to end my own life but I survived.
I believe in Jesus and that's why I want to live.
THANK YOU!! I'm wondering if a sadistic and narcissistic personality can be passed down from Mother to Daughter? A learned behavior? Does anyone know.
Yes.
@@samvaknin My Mother was physically abusive and then wouldn't speak to me for days whilst I walked around with black eyes at the age of 13. My sister has turned out to be like her a Sadistic Narcissist. I on the other hand think I'm the Borderline who attracts Narcissistic partners like flies.
All it’s for is supply wether good or bad, for some type of perceived control, to take out and dump anger, grudge, negative feelings, and pleasure onto you, the actual victim, not the perpetrators that engaged in these acts since the very beginning.
Is it pointless to give narcissistic supply to sadistic psychopath/sadist?
Yes.
Generally how impaired (if at all) is the object relations of a sadist who is not a psychopath?
Very impaired.
What’s the translation for the first few Hebrew (?) words?
I am dealing with this from two sisters and it tries my soul. Very confused.
💯rise above🙏🕊️😆
Keep your boundaries firm. I've experienced this with siblings too x
@@Danny099 when my sisters didn't get what they expected to from my mums will, they chose to disown me. Planned to do that in front of their young children, who I loved but changed their minds on the day, and did it in a pub by me instead. The ringleader telling me it was important for her to see my face - for her to know that I understood this was her decision. Her husband the narc has run up quite the body count over time-first offloading one sister because she said no to him about a loan, then the other challenged him on his treatment of people, so she was then cut out. His closest friend, because he (brother in law) gor caught swindling alot of money from him (his friend)-because he felt he deserved it more than his friend.
@@Danny099 my (now ex) sister, disowned me-along with her churchgoing other sister, 2wks after our mum had died. No reason other than their own greed & sense of entitlement. The churchgoing sibling married to a man who is v attention-seeking and domineering, though diagnosed as psychotic and an alcoholic. V funny that he tells everyone how he's a Buddhist, a vegan and actually runs a poetry group! This same man, I had to involve the police, to make him stop bullying & harassing me!
@@Danny099 and yes, they disowned me but I realised I had a choice to mutually disown them, which I then did. Many years later, am at peace with that now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK IT UP IF IDEK HOW TO SPELL IT?!?!?!?
My dad is sadistic/potential covert narc my mom is an enabler snd my sister is a narc.
In the case of an object supplying sex, service and supply, does the narcissist relish this or is 2 out of the 3 just as good to them?
2 out of 3 is good enough, so the partner is highly fungible.
Could you do a video on sadistic psychopath? You said that reactive attachment disorder later on creates sadistic psychopath.
Are these people extremely violent and sensitive to touch by others?
I feel like am a sadistic psychopath I mainly use ambient abuse and truth telling to get my psychopath needs met. However not sure totally.
Intricacies of information on comorbid self states in one person is very helpful.
Thanks for the cut clear organized information.
What happens when a narcissist is married to a sadist?
Can covert narc/ histrionic narc be sadistic ONLY in bed? BDSM and narcissist/ borderline connection???
I'm loving being sadistic... some of people are scared for decades 😆
Hello there professor Vaknin 🫶
I’m so addicted to you’re lectures. They are the highlight of my studies! By the way 4/20 is also my birthday 🥳
So may I wish you a very happy birthday & may you have “Mennie”
Many more ! 🥳
I was listening to one of you’re videos a yr ago and you mentioned it was Hitler’s birthday that day (it was 420 )I knew that as well for various reasons. Then you went on to say the following day was actually your birthday 4/21. So hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll be thinking of you!
Maybe one day I’ll get to meet you and attend one of your lectures in person. By the way we also have a similar sense of humor. I get it and absolutely love it , i enjoy your perspective and personality so much. You’re a permanent Intraject in my mind and life lol
So thank you !
I’m forever grateful to you !
I hate spelling errors but I was talk texting and forgot to prof read. My faux pas. Please forgive me. I was excited lol