my fiancé left me for the one who got away and now he wants me back - REACTION
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- čas přidán 9. 10. 2023
- my fiancé left me for the one who got away and now he wants me back - REACTION
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Hey ya'll! Today on my channel we are reacting to a reddit story about an engaged couple in turmoil. What do you do when the one that got away comes back in your life? What if you are engaged to be married? Would you take back your fiance if he did this to you?
#fiance #reddit #theonethatgotaway #redditstories #redditposts #wedding #charlottedobre #reaction #react #reactionchannel
If you want to submit a story anonymously, you can do so using the following links:
*DISCLAIMER* Due to a high volume of submissions, there is no guarantee that we will feature your story in a video. By submitting your story, you give me, Charlotte Dobre, the right to feature it in a video.
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Caught A Cheater ? - bit.ly/3FTyFuI
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Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I make a joke or two. I love poking fun at social media, weddings, entitled people, tiktok and OF COURSE petty people. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
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The real irony is that now his former fiancée will always be “the one that got away”. He’s going to regret this for the rest of his life, and he has no one to blame but himself.
Awww..so true.
And you best believe his family is never going to let him forget it 😂😂
@@vl2809 xD
He gets what he deserves. She clearly dodged a bullet.
THISSSS HAHAHA 🧘♀️
Let’s not forget that he spent weeks making hidden phone calls and contacting the ex all the while gaslighting her. She should NEVER take him back or she will spend the rest of her life with him and always be wondering if he’s gonna be up to something again. They’re not married, they’re not tied down by having children- she should run and not second guess her decision.
That comment that she could “cheat” to make them even made me want to barf. Translation: I was trash and cheated so you can cheat and become trash, too, and I can throw it in your face every time we fight.
All of this!
My additional thought on the cheating: _He_ cheated. They are over.
If she sleept with someone else it wouldn't be cheating, just a single person having a fling, even _if_ they got together again it would still just be a single fling. Not cheating.
The fact he sees it as cheating, that he still thinks she somehow actually owe him some fidelity after _everything_ _he_ _did_ ? Yeah, he'd 100% hold it over her head forever and RUN GIRL RUN.
You both are so SO right!!
@@ricebeansrockroll882Love your answer as well as the original.
yeah, that cheating for a cheating offer is so disgusting. Two wrongs don't make a right.
This! And she deserves someone better, who she will never meet while she's wasting time with this loser.
My first husband and I were married for 15 years. We were high school sweethearts. But, as the old saying goes, you either grow together or you grow apart. He had an affair with my 'best friend' and that resulted in divorce. I absolutely grieved this relationship. I actually got into therapy and it's one of the smartest things I've ever done. I realized that I was grieving for not only the man he once was but also for the man I wanted him to be. Once the blinders were off and I saw him for who and what he was, that was it. What was left just didnt appeal to me anymore. I moved on and never looked back. BTW, he cheated on her too.
Good, I am glad she took the trash.
God who needs enemies when you have friends like that. Also marriage really must not mean anything anymore if even decades can’t guarantee loyalty
@@elithluxe7568 They.both got what they deserved. He cheated on her and she took him for everything he had. Karma was so sweet.
@@leslieking6259 she must have thought she was so special for him to be willing to cheat on you like no honey you were just there and easy
I'm glad you got out of that and are happy now ... As they say, if they cheat for you, they'll cheat on you ... Bet that chick thought she got a prize, little did she know he was the poison
I love how his apology letter is all about his feelings and not how much he hurt her.
Pure narcissist
It was all about him🤨
And did you notice how his "apology" letter was riddled with me, me, me and I, I, I? Op is well rid of him.
Good catch. I didn't notice that, but you're totally right. That's the kind of thing that really shows you where his head is at. I saw this one CZcamsr and her partner do a breakup video, and even though he wronged her, he worked the conversation in such a way that he never said he did, never said sorry, and she ended up admitting fault to some stuff, even though it wasn't her fault. Just shows how much of a heartless person the guy was, just like in this video. Manipulators do that kind of thing.
The weirdest part: he misses her (OP) nagging him? 🤔😬🚩
The biggest red flag to me was the line “she reminded me of younger days of less responsibility” cuz that means it wasn’t just her it could be anyone that makes him feel that way. You know what the biggest responsibility is? MARRIAGE AND KIDS!!!! Imagine 5-10 years from now a kid or two deep and a few wrinkles in places where they weren’t before and BOOM you’re getting ditched for the young coworker/ friend that has no kids, tight skin, and a small waist. Yeah no thanks better sooner than later.
Eggxactly! 😪😪
Exactly what I thought
Agree. That's why I think not everyone should have kids. You really have to love taking care of others, be selfless and have a lot of patience. People who are Hedonistic shouldn't be parents.
Yes when life gets tough with more responsibilities he will again dump her.
Facts
I firmly believe that you can't steal someone from a happy relationship. OP's partner would have bailed at some point, better now than on the morning of the wedding day, like that one shite did to that lovely woman whose story you covered awhile back Charlotte.
Yes, she clearly dodged a bullet here. It's sad she 'wasted' 3 years on him but I'm glad she moved on.
Thats what I’m thinking, he had his doubts, if it wouldn’t have been his ex, it would have been something else.
Yep, or right after giving birth to their child. Could've been worse.
Yes! If a person is happy in the relationship, they won't be looking around for someone else. That said, cheating is not okay
I agree
I've been on the other side, as in a married man tried to pursue me. DO NOT TAKE THESE PEOPLE BACK! He said a lot of terrible things about his wife and how much he regretted getting married and having kids, basically he regrets having responsibility. He also didn't understand why I wasn't interested and kept pursuing even after I told him "I don't date married men." Something I thought put across that this wasn't going to happen, but he kept asking and when I told him I wouldn't be speaking to him anymore, since it became obvious me interacting in any way was encouraging, he promised he'd stop and we could just be friends. I honestly think these type of people don't respect other people and are too obsessed with what they missed out on than what they have
I've been cheated with or attempted to cheat with by so many men. according to men online women cheat just as much, but IDK I've seen a LOT of men cheat or try to cheat, or flirt without the intention of actually cheating while actively omitting to mention they had a gf (I still consider that emotional cheating).
Get a restraining order & tell your family & friends so they can have your back.
@@K.C-2049 men definitely cheat more... And they reasons are usually way more shallow
They'll always chase that next fix of dopamine. It's all about them and what they want at that time. Again and again. They're incapable of seeing it and unwilling to change.
@@K.C-2049I’m sure women just go about it differently, they’re probably better at keeping things secret. Women tend to not be as sloppy.
Honestly the whole showing up uninvited thing is another huge red flag. My ex (who I also thought wouldn’t hurt me) got my college schedule and kept “running” into me even though I told him I wanted to go no contact. That was just the start to him stalking me and sending me death threats when I wouldn’t respond, eventually got the campus security involved and he was kicked out, but you should never take something like showing up uninvited lightly it can be the start of a very slippery slope.
Wth. I guess that's when you break up fully mutually. Let everything that needed.to be said said so people don't have anything they wish they said.
But seriously others are just psychos
I wonder if he wanted the apartment. That that's why he and his ex showed up uninvited.
She says she regrets letting him meet the one that got away, but IMHO the ex did her a favor by taking the fickle MF off her hands. He showed her he was always going to be looking for greener pastures, and she was able to dodge that bullet now instead of 4 kids down the line.
It seems like he would have found a way to leave her regardless.
Right? If it wasn’t his ex it would’ve been an old friend, a quirky co-worker, or some other exciting fling distracting him from the day to day norm.
That's my thought too, if anything that hard tragedy just showed her his real face and allowed her to move on and hopefully find someone better.
Yeah if it hadn't happened then it would've been later with someone else, maybe after they'd been married a few years and had kids and property together. The idiot did her a favor by showing his true nature so early.
For real.
Rejection is GOD’s protection.
Imagine if we could get the trash to take itself out as well…
Now she’s “The One that Got Away” and the fact his family adores her too will mean even when he marries someone else, that person will be compared to her.
She didn't "get away," though. He discarded her like garbage.
@@Happy-ey6yumatter of perspective! The only garbage is the guy and the trashy homewrecking ex.
@user-sn3ek4vj2j I didn't say she was garbage, I said that's how he treated her.
@@Happy-ey6yuNo he will victimize himself and tell himself that she got away.
@@Happy-ey6yushe may not have “gotten away”, but it doesn’t change the fact that his family adores her and that their moms are friends. You bet he’s gonna hear from his mother about how OP is a new relationship, when she gets married, or any other blessing that happens to her.
Smile. I agreed to meet my ex for a coffee about 6 years after we split at his request. Wife #2 had tossed him out. In the time since he left me (and 2 kids) I was in a better job and working on my degree at night school. He was broke. Sitting across from him at the cafe, listening to him talk non-stop about himself for about 5 minutes, I knew I'd never want him back. It was a moment of clarity; I saw what my life would have looked like if I had stayed married to him.
...also a moment of satisfaction
I know an older woman who had a pretty philandering husband who she divorced. And decades later he's still all "wah, I love you" and her reply is the best: "you should have loved me when you were married to me." The guy is unbelievable. His second ex-wife attended his daughter's wedding while he didn't. He was off somewhere with some woman who wasn't his third wife.
As a stay-at-home mom, these videos give me the little extra dose of drama I need to get me through the rest of my day.😂
Girl same. It's my 5 minutes peace in the afternoon 😂
Severe medical conditions here and I can escape for a bit.
@@kellykirkwood4567 love and healing to you, dear 💜
Literally me as well xoxox hi to all the fellow stay at home mothers ❤
Same, then I forget to clean and stuff sometimes because I end up in a CZcams rabbit hole
My ex fiancé had his "old friend who's like a sister" contact him after her divorce and he pulled the same ish after she and her kids were hanging out at our house a few times, admitting he'd actually been obsessed with her their entire friendship in his early 20s.
I told him he was being used now that her marriage fell apart because she cut him off as soon as she met her ex husband and never spoke to him for 8 years.
Turns out I was right because she told him he "misunderstood" and that she meant she "loved him like a brother".
He's still single living with his family and I'm married to a lovely man who adores me wahaahaa.
Good for you!! 👏👏👏
Oh yes! Love this 🤗
That's lovely.
I love that for you and he got what he deserves.
Finally.. some karmic justice 😂
The best revenge is happiness.
It was so obvious in his letter - what he missed were the ways she served him and made his life easier. She was his cleaner and his emotional outlet, and now that his adventure with the ex ended, he wanted his safe harbour again. He doesn't love her and probably never did - not because she isn't lovable but because he's not a mature adult capable of mature love. She should thank her lucky stars that he revealed himself before she was saddled with him, his kids, and the enormous disappointment that their life together would have soon become. Also, his mother is dead wrong - she's not lacking strength to forgive him. Forgiving him would have meant weakness, lack of boundaries and no self-respect. Not forgiving him is true strength. I don't think his family is the gem Charlotte thinks they are - after all, they raised him.
agree 100%
Forgiveness does NOT mean weakness. Not forgiving someone is weak actually, because you are holding yourself back
You can forgive someone and not let them back into your life though. But definitely too soon to forgive him for what he did. It wasn’t just some simple mistake so it would surely be hard to let the pain go, but in time worth it for one’s peace of mind.
Forgiving him doesn't mean allowing him to be back in her life. Any mother who tells her to do more is no friend of hers.
ok when are we all forgiving Hitler? No? THought not. @@lanischannel8322
I started dating this guy after me and my ex of 7 years broke up. It was a rebound more or less but I still came to have feelings for him. After introducing me to his family, his son, making future plans with me etx I found out he was cheating...I asked the girl, she thought we had broken up...and she sent me proof of it all and I sent her proof of it all. We both left him. I was at his house when I found out and I tried talking to him but he ran and hid like a child, literally. I packed my things and his mom asked what was going on...I told her and she said "he's such an idiot!". I had called a friend to pick me up because he had brought me to his house in his car. Right before I left with my friend his mom came outside and stopped me, she hugged me, told me that I was probably the best thing that ever happened to her son and he wa such an idiot and a creep for what he did to me. I also became really attached to his son. But....what did he do...weeks later try crawling back. Like what?! Gtfooh with that. I'm still friends with the girl he cheated on me with! And still talk to his mom occasionally but it always is so funny to me that people think they can cheat and then just come back like you're so pathetic and will just take them back.
I didn't keep contact with the woman who should have been my mother-in-law. She was just going through so much ... at one point I knew five other people who had been engaged to my ex. My "heart's MIL" is gone now - it's been 30 years - but I was lucky to get that close to being part of her family.
fr, im glad you were wise, i had a friend who patched up with her cheating ex twice, and she later realised she was and has always been the second choice. It's heartbreaking to see a friend go through all that
Sorry you couldn't keep in contact with his son.
If he left her during their romantic movie happy montage period, what the hell would he do when the "honeymoon" phase is over? Nope, no, he made his bed, now he has to lay in it.
Also the absolutely cowardly way he left her speaks volumes of his true character.
Such a good point!
Truer words have never been said.
So true! And the way he left her was so unbelievably cold. Thank goodness this happened before they had children or assets together.
The fact that he left his wife to be after 3 WEEKS of connecting with Ex again makes me so mad that he had the AUDACITY to beg for her to take him back and then shows up WITH the EX!! AT HER DOOR!
Sir?! Do you have no shame?!
It's the way he handled the whole thing, that I find most disturbing. That is not how you end a relationship at the engagement stage, no matter what the reason.
Literally was about to say the same thing! I do not understand why he would BRING THE EX with him to get her back. Like WHAT???? Why did he think that would work?
@@Rheaheart128Because he’s a man. Men are not the brightest bulb in the chandelier nor are they the sharpest knife in the drawer 😳😵💫😱🥶😁!!! Just basic facts. She’s so, so, so, etc., better off without him. Once a cheater, always a cheater. This is what I’ve learned in my 61 years of life. 😊
He thinks she's stupid since she allowed him to meet with her
They weren’t married, only engaged.
I went on a date with a guy who then text me a little later to say he had a really successful date with someone else and thought she was the one. Whatever, all good. Two weeks later, I get a text from him asking to take him back as he was wrong and didn’t like her as much as he thought. No thank you, I’m good. 😂
I had just started dating this guy so it was no big deal and honestly just funny! I can’t imagine how this woman must be feeling given they were sharing their whole lives together!
I think it was ok for him to tell you he met someone else - that's better than being ghosted or strung along.
But he was obviously a douche for trying to get you back after the other women didn't pan out.
@@CyeOutsider honestly the whole thing was just hilarious but I’d met him once. I agree his step to tell me was completely fine, in fact it was kind, it’s the coming back after it didn’t work out that felt strange!
I have a similar story to the first one minus marriage. Once she got him back she didn't want him. He lost his job, his home, and became a drug addict. The love we shared was magical.. or so I thought. He made me feel like a princess and literally over night it was over. He eventually tried to come back but I refused. I've been happily married now for 8 years and have 2 beautiful sons with my husband. Things happen for a reason. I still keep in touch with his mom and sister because they're amazing people and treated me like one of their own from the beginning. I hope he gets his life together some day for the sake of his kid and family.
Damn, karma was not playing with him , that's a heck of a spiral; and it sounds like it happened fast too.
Glad you're doing well, may your union and family be blessed 💕.🙂
My mom had to deal with one of these guys. They weren't engaged or married, but they were together for years with a baby together when he dumped her. She was able to move on, and he has spent the last THIRTY YEARS chasing her and regretting his decision. He was so mad when she got married. This girl deserves happiness and I hope she finds it soon.
Awww...sweet Kharma. It's delicious. Chefs kiss
Thirty YEARS? 👀
Chef's kiss ❤
What did your sibling’s parent do??
@@yoitschlo3283 dumped her. He asked her to come back a while later but she decided that she didn't want to. She moved on but he never did. Now he's a bitter, lonely old man.
The fact he brought the ex with him proves she dumped him because if he’d been the one that dumped her there’s no way a woman would be like “Ok lemme come with you to help you get your ex fiancé back”
True! You absolutely nailed it
He's a douchbag for thinking that would work. One terrible decision after another. Sometimes we give people more credit than is due. We think they are better people than they really are. He's a problem "child" now and will be in the future. There would be a round two later on. As hard as it is do not revisit this drama. We all make mistakes. Better now than later. I hope she finds someone worthy of her.
Exactly. The Ex is trying to get rid of him.😂
Yep this is what I was gonna say. He became so desperate that he phoned in help from the same person who got him into this mess hoping somehow she could fix this. Sadly there is no fixing it and he is very dumb for thinking this would actually work 😂
From what I experienced, "the one that got away" is never a good choice. There's a reason why that person is not in your life anymore. Don't get tempted and move on.
In my experience…the one that got away is always going to be on his mind. Because that one is unattainable. And knows her worth…and he’s not worth a toxic relationship. So she keeps her boundaries. Which makes him feel insecure and wonder why he’s not good enough for her. So he will always view the one that got away a prize. But the one that’s there and stays he will view as worthless. Because the one that’s there and the one that stays is a reminder of him just being enough for that woman…but not good enough for that prize unattainable…the one that got away.
@@notallabouttarot5194 I tend to agree with Charlotte...that people tend to idealize "the one that got away". Even the happiest and most successful relationships have occasional conflicts and rough patches. So it's easy to think that "if I'd ended up with my old partner, they wouldn't clash with me over such-and-such", or something like that.
@@jenniferschillig3768 well…it is what it is. Idealistic or no. The one who got away will always be the prize. The one who knew her/his worth.
My theory is that the ex came with him in order to help convince her to take him back. I think the ex is wanting him out of her house now, and he's probably like "I have nowhere to go. My fiance won't take me back. I kept trying, and she 🚫 blocked me." So the ex decided to go with him to try and convince the fiance that there is nothing between them anymore, and they don't want to be together. In hopes that he'll get the f*** out of her house. Because she doesn't want him anymore.
Oh good point! 😮😅🤔 she wanted to screw him and then she got screwed 😅
Exactly 😂 I took the trash home and I am giving it back OP.
He's an emotional infant. I feel for her. The break up must have been miserable, but you dodged a bullet. Move out and move on. Much love OP and best of luck.
Emotional Infant is exactly right
Hi. I need help. I have a bf for 8 months. He is the first boy of the school. He says that he loves me. We are kind of in a long distance relationship. So we communicate with msg. We meet each other once a week or two week. After meeting he starts to ignore me. It has happened for 10 times. He ignores me for no reason. When i ask him about that he starts to make excuses and says that his family situation is not good and he has study pressure. I understand that for him and his family his study is important but why he talks to me when he needs to meet. He talks only for meeting. Then again starts to ignore. What should i do?
@@risa5118Hey Risa! That’s a very sad relationship. To put it bluntly, break up with him, or, at the very least, talk to him about it and how it hurts your feelings. If he wants a relationship with you then you need to both support and love each other, and he’s clearly not holding up his part. So leave, that sounds like it could become very toxic.
@@risa5118 Run, risa, run. Run as fast as You can.
@@GwendolinArtistic he says that he doesn’t love me anymore. Then Again says if i don’t love you why will i talk to you. I don’t what is wrong with him. One time he messed up his physics xm so i asked him why it was an easy qs, you could do better than this. Since then he started to ignore me. When i asked him, he said that i wanted someone to comfort me because my xm didn’t go well, but you strted to quarrel with me, you made me depressed, i wanted your help but you didn’t. Then i felt really sorry i said sorry to him several Times but he Isn't forgetting this and calls me selfish. Thin happened in june. I am still saying sorry but he doesn’t talk about that. He talks to me but gives hints that i am not important anymore, i am selfish, love is lie. Then taunts me about anything. Anything i do he doesn’t like and always blames me for everything. I really don’t know what to do. He ignores me, treats me bad, blames me for everything, says i destroyed his life, i was his biggest mistake so on. What should i do?
No matter the circumstances, NEVER take someone back who leaves you for someone else. Period.
Giving her a pass to "cheat back" is less so about fairness and more so about her having less ammo against him. He was asking her to join him on the low road to humble her so she can't hold cheating against him as hard.
Everything is transactionnal for that guy. She dodged a bullet
It's very childish too. Like, "hey, I did you bad so you can do bad too, to even the scores" is so immature. Emotional maturity is not an option in an adult relationship. He may learn this lesson and grow up mentaly...or he will just pass this opportunity again.
@@dorianneutre3636 And if he really loved her, it would kill him to think of her with another guy.
But then that would require him to have empathy and realize he was horrible in the first place.@@eathomelive
Three weeks from meeting his ex to breaking up. Three weeks from the breakup to trying to get back. The guy quickly changes his mind. He destroys easily and thinks it's easy to repair. It just means he won't think twice about abandoning her in the future. It's not worth worrying about him.
Happened to me once. I have a different approach. When he wanted to see his old flame I totally agreed that he should because why should I be the one holding him back when he’s questioning his heart and where it lies. ( I thought he was totally interested in me) When he said, after meeting her, that he is not wanting her back, I told him the mere thought that he might choose her over me was a red flag for me and I deserved better. And that was that.
Yes, if they think the grass is greener then let them find out. 😊
Queen ❤
🤣🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yeah, I think so, too. I would never forbid my partner to see his ex, because if that's enough for him to cheat and leave, we were never on a solid foundation in the first place.
Dayum. I respect your mindset.
How can a person forgive someone who stood stone cold while she cried. She is not the consolation prize.
I was with a man who I totally fell in love with, all of a sudden he calls me and says he is moving back home and he was taking his ex with him! I was crushed and actually fled to California and month later he tracked me down to see how I was doing and to tell me he made a mistake, I was now with someone who I loved and he loved me back so no, I don’t think so!!!!
That girl came back to prove a point.
She knew he was getting married and came to either destroy the wedding or she is just a narcissist that wanted to show she still got him in her hands. Point proved, she doesn’t need him anymore
Had an ex of mine do something similar. He had been pining for this chick for ages (she was apparently a lesbian) and while we were dating, she got jealous and propositioned him to be her sperm-donor. He of course was jumping at the bit to potentially do the nasty with her and turns around and asks me for permission to go screw someone else. I flat out said no and said we are done and dropped his ass on the spot. You don't just go and ask permission to go have sex with someone else. Who does that?
A year or two later I am engaged and about to marry my now-husband when he contacts my friends and begging them to let him talk to me. So I entertain it for goofs and he sends this big sob story of how he made the biggest mistake of his life and when he discovered I was getting married, he wanted to meet up for coffee. I only responded to him in GIFs and it pissed him off
Hahaha I love that you responded in gifs. I'm sorry he treated you so badly. Go have a happy life with your new man.
What an idiot. It's always "the day you're getting married" 🙄
Ha! Now he wants to be the one to break up a relationship. Glad you responded the way you did because that's exactly what he deserves.
@@daisy9910 oh for sure! We've been married 5 years as of next month and have an awesome kid together.
Yeeees!! So happy you told him off and married someone who loves you 👏 👏 👏
What is the old adage? Ah yes, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them." He left before the wedding and when they were happy, making it clear that he's a coward who will not only run when tempted, he also won't bother to talk to her about what's going on or let her have any input into the decision to end everything and cancel the wedding.
And he clearly disregards her boundaries, her sense of security and privacy. Showing up after she's told him to leave her alone AND with the ex. Dude is super rude and inconsiderate and doesn't even realize he's doing anything wrong! So ya, she should definitely believe him. These are his true colours.
@@carmeltabby 💯
It's "When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time" - Maya Angelou
I had something similar happen . I had been with a bf for 3 years and I was moving back to my country and we were making plans so he would move there too . He took me to the airport ( in a city far from where he lived ) and said he’d stay with his online friend that lived nearby . I asked him if I could trust him and he said it was entirely platonic . This friend also had a bf that she had been dating for years . Now I get home and settled in and he’s already distant . “The internet is terrible here he said .” yet I notice both are online .
2 weeks pass , he returns to his city. He continues to be distant .
I knew something was up but he wouldn’t admit it .
I finally got it out of him .
Nothing happened between them but he had caught feelings . I broke up with him immediately . I felt distraught and betrayed . He tried to make amends and make things work but I could not forgive him for giving up on our relationship at the literal first opportunity even though he knew that she and him could never be .
Sucks for him .
I am now happily married ( to someone else ) and I honestly hope he learned to appreciate those who truly love him .
Something happened between them. He lied.
Something happened between them. He lied.
One thing men will do is treat you like absolute garbage for no reason, treat you with absolutely no empathy, and then turn around and expect it from you when they realize what they've lost.
She straight up dodged a HUGE bullet by him doing this. Saved not only a lot of time and money but also heartache and at least they hadn’t had kids or anything yet. Advice is move and change your number as soon as possible and still make a report on the ex so if you do get a restraining order there’s a paper trail. Talking from experience this is a huge help.
Imagine if the ex reappeared AFTER the wedding.
So strange bringing his ex gf to her house and waiting around the door for long periods of time. What kind of ex gf would want to be dragged into all of that and just by her being there, it's showing that the ex fiancé and ex gf are still in constant contact, which defeats the purpose of what he's trying to do. He needs to grow up and accept the consequences
My husband's ex (his first love) tried to add him on facebook when we were just dating. He showed me and I just looked meaningfully at him. He blocked her right then and there. A man who truly loves you will not even entertain the temptation.
So true. You have a good one.
Keeper
This is t about you
My ex is no tentation at all!
I would be happy to have news, heard he got married but I don't know if it's truth.
I wouldn't go back with him even if you paid me, he wasn't a bad botfriend but I wasn't happy with him.
@@kawaibakaneko true. But there's no reason to get in touch.
I remember when my ex practically did the same to me. After 2 years he said he doesn't want a relationship, only for him to move in with his ex. He later told me he felt responsible to help her out of a situation and that he owed it to her. After about 3 to 4 years living with her, he is pleading for me to take him back. Apparently he can see that he could build a life with me and that he would happy to come home to me everyday.
I hope you didn't took his pathetic behind back ?
Nope. I moved on and I love my person.
@@greenonyx8563 Great !
My wife ex had a similar thing when we were dating. He left her for his best friend pick me girl. When he sent her a fb message of how he loves her and misses and wants her back, she responded with only a pic of her hand holding my erected penis (not trying to brag but I am kinda gifted in that department). he immediately blocked her 😅 till this day whenever I remember it I burst out laughing uncontrollably.
Imagine if he had just opened up to her about how he was struggling with inappropriate thoughts of wanting to chase that fantasy, having cold feet, and asked for help so instead they got couples therapy and worked it out (you know like communicating, and trusting her) vs. Him leaving like a coward, cheating than begging to be forgiven.
My husband opened up about this kind of problem. Thank god he did it, but it was the worst year of my life. He had feelings for a co-worker and she had feelings for him for almost a year. We almost split up but we got through this. Unfortunately, I will have scars for a long time ( I hope not forever). It has been a few months since then but I still have bad days because of it..bad memories won’t leave me alone.
@@KarinCohen_even if not physical, he emotionally cheated on you. Why would you take him back?
@@johnnysbabygiri2627 I love him. And we promised to work through the hard times and not give up on our marriage. He was openly about the whole thing from the beginning, once he understood he had feelings for her he told me. We used you talk about it almost every day and do everything we could so we won’t split
Oh my stomach aches for her. I dated a man for three years and one day poof gone. He was in his 30s and me in my 20s. After ice cream, Sex in the City and tears . He showed up at my house begging and pleading for forgiveness. Oh the pain it caused. I feel so bad for her.
Sorry sis, sending lots of love. What happened to you after or is this still ongoing?
My ex cheated on me after 23 years of marriage, 2 kids. He blamed it on a “midlife” crisis and said he’d never cheated before. I actually believe that latter part but it didn’t matter. He begged for marriage counseling or anything he could do to make it better. I went to 3 counseling sessions with him and filed for divorce. I divorced him for the same reason the girl should not take back her ex fiancé. At the end of the day, she’ll never view him the same again, he will never be the man she fell in love with.. period.
Wow, 23 years?
Good luck being single out there at your age. You should’ve tried to make it work. You’ll see…
@@skr8674 Just because you'd rather be with a cheater than to be alone doesn't mean that's true or best for everyone.
@@skr8674 S
She'll see what?
@skr8674 let me guess..You're a cheater
The main reason why I decided to stay single for the rest of my life lol, this happened to me twice, first love and last love, 10 years apart, investing in a partner and finding love and thinking that’s it life is good only to have them turn into stranger overnight by confessing they still had feelings for their exes and I was just a distraction they thought was love. Humans are a mess and I’d be damned if I ruin my peace one more time tryna get involved in their weird shit.
Please don't turn into a Lady havisham from great expectations. Don't let douchebags prevent the love in your heart from getting bigger.. True love exists, I am a history fan and there are many kings princes and princesses who sacrificed everything for love.
She shouldn't have tried to stop him from meeting the girl. He would have did it behind her back.
She did nothing wrong.
This is entirely his fault.
I hope she truly finds true love with someone ELSE.
To be honest, im scared for her. He knows where she lives, where she works and her schedule, and he still has the key to the locks. As much as she feels like he's not dangerous, she can never be too sure. Rejection does some nasty things to people.
Edited and removed the word narcissistic since I don't know the man. But point still stands, some people can't handle rejection well
Right, that's what I'm thinking too. Especially because evidently she felt she could trust him to meet up with his ex too. A man that can turn that quickly is unpredictable. She really should move, even if he ends up being no threat at all. Hard to move on in the same four walls she thought she'd build a life with him in.
You're not wrong
Yeah
I want to know what she did afterwards; I would call his mom
You watch too many Oxygen and Lifetime movies. Most men are not stalking psychopaths because they have keys to an apartment.
@@ericlondon2663this is textbook Stalking. 66% of female victims are stalked by an intimate partner. Globally, more than 50,000 femicides occur each year by a family member or intimate partner.
I had a guy whom I dated off and on during college who contact me about a year after graduation. He told me he wanted to date me and pursue marriage if things did not work out with this other girl. I told him in no uncertain terms that I would not play second fiddle to anyone and that I did not want him calling me ever again. I was not going to put my life on hold in hopes he would choose me. 🙄🙄 So thankful I did not!! Been married 33+ years and have 5 kids and 5 grandchildren so far. Have lived and traveled all over the world as my husband was military. I treasure him and he me. I could not imagine my life with anyone else.
Respect yourselves, people. Have boundaries and wait for God’s best. I did.
The audacity! When I was very little I suggested to a friend that we could meet up if my other friend was busy that day. My mom heard about it and made it very clear that you should never ever treat people like that. This is something that should be clear to children when it comes to friendship dynamics. How immature can someone be to apply that to relationships or even marriage? It's extremely insulting and the worst thing is that the guy is probably completely oblivious to that fact.
If things didn't work out with this other girl, excuse me what. That is so ridiculous. Nobody should ever be made to feel like they're the second best choice, the other option. I'm glad you told him to get lost and are happy now.
What?! Who the hell he think he is? Is he some kind of a greek god or a billionaire perhaps? The audacity!
Hi everyone. I need help. I have a bf for 8 months. He is the first boy of the school. He says that he loves me. We are kind of in a long distance relationship. So we communicate with msg. We meet each other once a week or two week. After meeting he starts to ignore me. It has happened for 10 times. He ignores me for no reason. When i ask him about that he starts to make excuses and says that his family situation is not good and he has study pressure. I understand that for him and his family his study is important but why he talks to me when he needs to meet. He talks only for meeting. Then again starts to ignore. What should i do?
@@risa5118 Hey. There are honestly a lot of things that could be going on. Being busy is certainly understandable but in a relationship communication is one of the most important things. Ignoring you but saying he loves you is confusing and it isn't your fault that you feel upset about it. I think there are 3 things most likely to be going on.
1. He just is horrible at communicating over the phone/text message. If so he needs to work on that. At least tell you when he is busy and maybe say "I'll take a break in an hour and talk to you a little then."
2. He only cares about the physical parts of a relationship. If so, and you aren't okay with that you need to tell him. He especially shouldn't be saying he loves you if it's not that serious in his eyes.
3. Some people just want an escape once a week or every other week. The relationship could be casual in his mind. He could be new at dating and not wanting to spend a ton of time with you yet or the type of person who needs a lot of alone time.
There are other possibilities but the next time you meet, you need to ask him what kind of relationship he wants this to be. I hope this helps you a little at least. Good luck!
It doesn't matter if she told him he couldn't go meet this person because he already had a foot out the door. It's painful but at least it happened before the wedding. That was a blessing.
When he told me that he didn't know which one of us to choose. I told him to choose her cuz if it had been me, he'd of never asked that question. I left, moved to a different state, then another, got engaged, twice, moved & just recently, after 9 years, he obsessively searched for me. Found my Facebook (i had his other ones blocked & my number has changed quite a many times since)
I did tell him that i am very content with the lifestyle I'm choosing.
Then i told him that we're wasting each other's time. I don't want to continue on with him in my lil world.
He's just not a good person, period...
I am keeping them kind of hobosapiens far away from me....
Bonus...
I am grateful that i have the kind of job that has me traveling 😊
......& I can say that he's having an episode. Again....
I'm guessing he's not taking his medication for schizophrenia, again.....
Cuz "I'm cheating on him"? Huh?
I'm not giving my number & he's on to making fake profiles while all i can do is block, block, block...
I'm unavailable & I'm getting ready to relocate cuz that's what i do 😊
Not because of him but because I'm about to sign another contract at another location with a different company...
I'm stoked for my next adventure 😊
It's so nice when the in laws are sane and sweet like in this story. Props to that mum and grandma. Ladies got to have each others backs 💅💕
Truth. I was worried the grandma at least would make trouble after that “he’ll be back” talk, but they’re being very fair honestly
Honestly its rare to have inlaws like this and that would be the hardest part of breaking up innthis situation for me.
To think that their moms also besties and all his family treat her nicely and full understanding, they would be good in laws. However, good inlaws are nothing if she got weak men as a husband as the price. That would be big regret. Loyalty means nothing to him. Imho, she's lucky they're not married yet. I hope she's move on, found someone way better for her, and happiness.
As my Grandmother said when she and my Grandfather were first dating and some other girl started sniffing around:
“If she can take him,
She can have him.”
I’ve lived by that all my life since my mom told me that story. Do not settle for being an option, ladies. You’re too precious for that. ❤️
100%. Each partner's 'job' is to make the other WANT to stay.
Smart grandma.
I love your grandma! Wise outlook.
Your Grandma *knows*. That’s perfect summation.
She's a wise woman!
If it takes one day for him to question his entire relationship, then it sounds like he was never a good one to be with in the first place.
His true childishness shines through in the "even the score" bit. Primarily the fact that he didn't consider the sheer magnitude of what she went through, and how the shock of it all, losing him entirely with no hope, dealing with the idea of being the second choice, now of which he'd be gong through in that scenario. But also not even considering what the man she may date would go through, knowing that no matter how amazing he is, she will return to her ex (in his fantasy world).
IKR? "Go ahead and sleep with someone else and then you can't ever use me dumping you before our wedding against me." What a jerk!! Hope she left him. She dodged a bullet if so.
Exactly! I never understood the "even the score" thing. Like, I can already date whoever I want, since, you know, I'm SINGLE now. Without you. Why would I want to add your worthless ass back into that? What exactly does your presence add to my life that I don't already have on my own? Nothing. The answer is nothing. You cheated, I dumped you. We are already "even". Get lost!
The one that got away from me was a beautiful Brazilian boy named Fabio. We were only 18 when we met. He came to the US for work and we worked together in a Casino. He was so fun and charming but he was only going to be in the US for a few months. So as time drew closer for him to leave I tried to distance myself. I didn’t want to get too attached because I didn’t think a LDR would work. When he left he wrote me a beautiful letter and gave me a tshirt with his name on it to remember him by. I still think about him from time to time and I truly hope that he’s happy and is living a wonderful life full of love.
The mature and grown response. Thinking of the "one who got away" the way you do, idly wondering about someone who meant at lot to you and wishing them all the best andlove = Healthy. Good for you, and I hope you too are able to live the loving life you deserve
That's all anyone could want for the sweethearts and first loves they and we think back on with fondness, even decades later ,,^^,,
My one that got away was named Manuel. I was too immature and insecure for him when we met.
@caffeinatedkatie4696 I, too, have the one that got away, or the one about whom i ask myself, "What if?". His name is Nathan. We were practically really great friends, i could be myself around him, we laughed a lot, all this in the short time i knew him. But because as a teen in highschool i "fell in love" really quickly and got into relationships i knew little to nothing about and we ended up breaking up (they were very short relationships, so they never involved more than kissing), I was worried that the same would happen here, that the reality of what I thought was love would turn out to be just friends, and especially i was scared of ruining the friendship we had. So I never made a move and chose to stay single and get to understand myself better for a really long time in general during most of my 20s.
Several years later, i was curious about him, looked him up, and saw he was happy and in a relationship for a few years now with a really sweet girl.
I was really happy for him honestly, because he's one of the ones who deserve all the happiness in the world, and I'm glad he found it 🥰
Though we never were more than friends, and there have been a time or two where I thought back and told myself he was the one that got away, but I'm really happy that he found the one and held onto her ☺️ She's one lucky girl, and he's one lucky guy for finding his soul mate 🥰
Are you in a relationship now? If not, do you think you’d still have fondly thoughts of this guy when in a partnership?
I feel for this woman and I'm happy that she's standing her ground. It's BEYOND messed up that he had the gall to show up with his ex to HER place. Damn!
He has revealed how problematic he really is. Yikes!
Can I just say that I LOVE your editor. That part where reading that sentence just would not come out... So funny. Other editors probably wouldn't have bothered leaving all the takes in there, but not yours, and I love that. It's so wholesome.
I really love these chasing arc stories, where a certain person cheats on you, calls an end to a relationship, and now wants you back but your heart is as cold as stone and you're tired of being in the same bulls**t situation anymore. I really love the satisfying feeling when this person thought he/she will come back to this person but is seriously done with the BS.
Its so funny how some men consider a woman who've had previous sexual partners "tainted" but yet, they're the ones who never seem to get over their exes
Wait, what? MEN can't get over their exes? You want to be the pot or the kettle?
My ex tried to kill me. I'm over her. Lmao
@@protojayplays6169probably for the best bud
@@protojayplays6169lmao I’m glad you are over her, I would be side eyeing you hard if you didn’t.
@@ladycobrana852bombastic side eye. Haha well you would've been side eying my 17 year old self. Because after she stabbed me I stayed with her for a few weeks only for her to get more violent. I was an idiot how ever I'm a few months from 30 now and am engaged to the most wonderful woman I've ever met.
That first story...
He led me to believe we were a couple.
He suddenly, with no conversation, moved out of state to reconcile with his ex ...
.tears, boo hoo, heart broken, trust destroyed ...
Just TONIGHT...
...after my hair grew back, lost twenty pounds, my bank account got straight and I could finally not cry just thinking about him.. ..
This fool texts me on Facebook tonight...
"Just thinking of you. How are you?"
F*ck off you a**hole, THAT'S how I am!!
I'm nobody's SECOND choice!
😅❤
You should take his audacity as inspiration.
Imagine what YOU could do with THAT kind of audacity…probable a lot of good in the world.
More good people should have, and act upon, more audacity.
Anyways, you’re priceless, worst more than the gems and gold of this world. May you walk in the fullness of your worth. May you be led to someone who sees your value and treats you like the treasure you are (and of course vice versa)
Bay-bee! That mofo really wanted to come and jack your isht back up, my good sis. Nah, you good!
Sounds like once again you are dealing with a narcissist who likes to have multiple sources of supply. Time for you to block him from everything.
@sds6303 BLOCKED in EVERY way possible! Even had a conversation with mutual friends to never give him any information about me. He's so BLOCKED he can only reach me thru carrier pigeon, Love! 😅
😂😂😂😂😂I’m sorry but you’re narrating it in a funny way.
What's so ironic is that he just made himself ANOTHER 'one that got away'! He needs to recognize the common denominator in both cases is HIM! HE is the one that couldn't commit. He is the one ruining his relationships.
This! Clap clap clap
It's unbelievable how some men get things to the next level. Had one that got away at the beginning of the story? Now he has two and no one of them wants him back. That's definitely an improvement
I always told my daughters….you don’t need to “be friends” with exes. Cordial, don’t act weird about it, but friends, no. It usually doesn’t work out unless you only casually dated, never clicked. If one of you holds onto any feelings, it’s not worth the potential problems for future relationships. And it’s just weird. You already have friends. Hang out with them instead and save yourself the roller coaster.
This is how I always felt, there is no need to be friends with ex’s, broke up for a reason, I dont need to be reminded of him. Tho a friend of mine kept trying for us to keep hanging out, like no.
That’s good advice. I had an acquaintance who was a womanizer, and he basically stayed “friends” with all of his exes so that he could get back together with them all whenever he was single. Hang out with your actual friends not your exes.
I'm still Facebook friends with two exes, but we live far apart and I'm never going to go back to my hometown, too many painful memories there.
Their lives have gone well, they are happy, successful, and have wonderful families and I'm very happy for them because they deserve happiness.
Both of them married wonderful women who love them and are right for them, while I was (and still am) a trainwreck. I've lived with chronic, suicidal depression since I was a preteen. My first attempt at unaliving myself was when I was eleven. When I'm up and feeling good, I'm probably not too horrible to be around, but these days I seem to be in permanent Debbie Downer mode. The frequent suggestions of, "Just cheer up! Others have it worse than you!" is not at all helpful. Why would I suddenly cheer up by thinking of other people who are suffering? I just feel worse because I'm helpless to do anything to ease their suffering, too.
I made the decision not to date at this stage of my life, because I'd never date a man who would go out with a person such as myself! (apologies to Groucho Marx) I sure wish I had friends, though.
I regret that I ever married, twice. Both marriages failed spectacularly, and we were both miserable the whole time we were together. Although both did treat me badly, I did nothing to help the situations, and now I know I'm better off being single and I'm too old to change. These days, I'm "just waiting around to die" like the lyrics to the Townes VanZandt song.
I used to have friends, but for the past 8 years I have none, and my family no longer has anything to do with me. I've allowed depression to take over and I keep myself isolated from the world to avoid pain. I have no one but myself to blame.
I don’t really agree. Yeah you don’t HAVE to be friends, but you certainly can. It’s still a person you were close to and presumably friends with. I don’t get how a lot of people need to go scorched earth, I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve never been a fan of traditional relationships. Just seems sad. But of course it depends of the people and circumstances and it’s none of my business anyways
I was friends with my ex before we started dating. It didn’t work out so we decided just to stay friends and everything is fine. You don’t have to completely cut off the friendship. It can still work.
I’m so to say a senior citizen and after a divorce I was single for about 10 years. Then met a beautiful lady at church and we got married.
After about two years my “one that got away called me and said she wanted to get together and talk about the “good old days”!!!
I didn’t hesitate for one second to tell her “sorry I’m very happily married to the lady I’ve waited my lifetime for”!!!! Never heard from her again!!!!
Oh and that part about meeting the woman of my dreams was exactly the truth!!!!!
Gosh, im almost in tears for this woman. I hope she finds and has true happiness for the rest of her life.
This story was so juicy! When Mark showed up at the door with his ex, some of the juice dribbled out of my mouth! I need more follow ups!
This was sad. Op’s ex fiancé ditched her after a 3 year relationship, after only like 2 or 3 weeks of talking to the ex. That’s ridiculous. He definitely didn’t really love her, he liked what she represented for him, a stable relationship, home and family.
Op really needs to move. I also thought that she should talk to the ex’s mom, and ask her to tell him to stop bothering her. The ex is ridiculous. He’s acting like he doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want him back, because it’s easier to pretend then to admit you messed up. He clearly doesn’t accept the fact that what he did was wrong and heartbreaking, if he’s bringing his ex to her house hoping to convince her there is nothing between them so they can get back together.
Sloppy seconds should never satisfy your soul. He willingly left her at the thought of a chance with his ex. If you're not his priority, he doesn't deserve you.
"At the THOUGHT of a chance with his ex"
The term the one that got away is just a fantastical way of saying they hurt you the most for no justifiable reason, so you think things were left undone when in fact you’re the only one who didn’t have closure .
This made me cry, poor girl. comment about ex needing validation was spot on. He validaded the ex and stroyed his fiance's heart. just terrible.
I have been told by a few exes (who were married with children) that I was the one who got away. My response to each of them was to ask about the wife and kids.
🥇🔥👑
You're royalty, fellow!!
One guy that was having a crush on me, was trying to contact me through my friend. Thank God she is a good friend and never gave him my number, Facebook or WhatsApp. Dude found me in Facebook, sent me a message, I threatened him, he blocked me. Thank God.
Never liked that guy. And I'm married and soon I'll have another member in my new family of two. 👩❤️💋👨🧑🍼
I did that to my ex when we met (bc he owned me money and wanted to give it back) also a reason I dumped him...he told me he would break up with his gf (2y at that point) right now if he could get me back...I was like how does she feel about that? He was like what? Well I hope she never finds out what u just did this is so hurtful...have a good life...bye
OMG SAAAAMMMEEE
"Everyone have a one that got away. But they're the one that got away for a reason..." omg if that is isn't true! Thank you Charlotte for your wise words yet again!❤
With the first story there is a saying I read somewhere, "if your dog starts barking at you, that's because someone else is feeding him". ...If your SO starts acting rude/indifferent to you that's because someone else is giving them attention
Sad when that happens
It's been so long ago that my ex had went after another woman. When things didn't go well he wanted me back. Even though my situation wasn't ideal at the time I didn't go back with him. He was abusive. I never remarried. And I'm good with that.
I once had an ex who broke up with me the moment his toxic ex-fiance came back around. One week later he called and I just put the phone in my pocket as I finished up an art piece. 13 years later he contacted me again and I found out the reason he called a week later was because his ex played a dirty trick on him; she lured him away just to ruin his new relationship with me. Both those times he contacted me, I think he thought I'd take him back once he explained what she did. I didn't take him back either time. Especially because the second time around, he was married with a kid! He really got his karma though - got himself stuck in a miserable, sexless marriage and my impression was that I was not the only ex he got back in contact with and none of us took him up on his offer for an affair. Haha.
Damn, that's why you know you're trash; none of your exes want to give you a chance, not one?😄😄😄😄.
Women should not want stupid men who can be lured away from a relationship like a dumb dog with a pussy treat. Relationships are built with hard work and no one wants a partner who can just throw it away so easily. That's not good for long term success.
I suspect that is what happened to me. My ex was with a woman for 5.5 years before me. He implied she was extremely needy & he sacrificed everything to make sure she was happy. She then chose to become poly, but keep him in the "primary" spot (they lived together with his parents & even though they worked in the exact same position, she made very little money). He wasn't comfortable with her taking on other partners, but eventually, because of therapy, he not only accepted it, it was actually a relief because he no longer needed to carry the brunt of her mental health issues. She could offload onto her other many partners.
I'm not sure how long that lasted. Eventually, he said she either wanted to travel or live with her other partner(s) - I'm forgetting which - & because they'd been having lots of problems, that was simply the final straw. I'm presuming that meant that he initiated the breakup.
I matched with him online ~8 months later, started a budding relationship over text while he was off training for his new career, then began officially dating in April 2023.
After I learned about her & their toxic relationship, I thought he would be relieved to be with someone who is the complete opposite. I trusted him when he said he was completely over her, that he'd improved himself since, etc.
But in late June, I learned that he still contacted her. She'd been paying his phone bill, he still used her Netflix/Prime, and - worst of them all - she would come over to visit a guinea pig they'd bought while they were still together.
It made me uncomfortable because even if he liked me, I couldn't trust her not to make some kind of pass, but I held my tongue fearing it wasn't my place to say that he shouldn't speak to or see someone.
I probably should have said something & saved myself three months of pain. Because he mentioned her numerous times since then, even suggesting I introduce my friend to her (my friend has mental health issues & his ex is now a sex therapist - big surprise)! The biggest tell was when the topic of polyamory came up & I said that I simply couldn't fathom it because of X, Y, & Z. Despite the fact he said he was 100% monogamous, he suddenly became extremely defensive & almost mocking towards my perspective on romance & love/marriage.
I'd noticed we began spending less time together a few weeks before, but it was following that conversation that he started to ignore me more. He said it was because of work, but he seemed to find time for friends, but not a couple hours for me. & I'm not so sure he wasn't also seeing her in that time.
After being essentially ignored for nearly a month, I confronted him about not feeling like a priority. He lied, saying it wasn't intentional, that nothing was wrong. But his tone changed immediately & he broke up with me the next week, claiming he'd been considering it since early July.
Besides the fact that he promised he would come to me should he start feeling like the relationship wasn't working, his reasons for leaving were b.s. But he made two very noteworthy points that led me to believe he left me to reconcile with her: I wasn't "experienced" (i.e. traumatized) enough for him to be comfortable talking about his job. I would not understand because I'm sheltered (he implied his ex was SAed & traumatized in many ways) and my perspective regarding "alternative lifestyles" means that we aren't compatible. I think I mentioned how it was "funny" he endured 5.5 years of toxicity but couldn't last more than 5 months with me. "We experienced lots together," was his response.
We haven't spoken since then & I know it may only be speculation, but even my friends said it sounded fishy. That a few months wasn't enough time to get over a relationship like that, and if they were communicating, then it's likely she was involved somehow. Either they were in talks of reconciling, or simply that being in contact with her made him subconsciously compare our relationships & the kind that they had was simply stronger.
I'm not expecting him to contact me. If so, it won't be for the foreseeable future. But I've never had my exes reach out to apologize or try again, and if he left me for her, then I'm sure he will convince himself he is happy like the first time.
@@DFRetha Daaaaang! Isn't that just always how it goes: they want the complicated, toxic drama even though they say they don't. Sounds like they had an extremely co-dependent, unhealthy relationship and he got addicted to it. I've been in plenty of situations where I was clearly the better choice, but they always go back to the drama because men (or maybe just people in general) need the excitement/unpredictability/challenge of the obviously worse choice. I've just recently found myself in a bad situation - met a guy that showed all the red flags, I tried staying away from him but he chased me down for a solid year - even when I blocked him, he'd show up at my door with his puppy dog eyes and dirty lies. I TRIED I tell you, I tried to stay away but he finally got me because he seemed so earnest in his efforts to be with me. After two years of allowing this snake into my life, he casually mentioned that he had a 2 year old daughter. Which means my instincts were right all along because during that year when he was chasing me, he had a pregnant girlfriend! He tried to gaslight me into acting like "what's the big deal?" as though having a whole kid with another woman was like "please pass the carrots" at dinner. I think the reason he chased me so hard was because he couldn't have me, and people but especially men, thrive off of the chase to get what they can't have. So that's probably why your ex is still bent over his ex - because he had to share her, he wanted to fix her but couldn't, and he thinks he won't be happy until he conquers her. Anyway, my take away from these horrible experiences with horrible men are: always trust your instincts and don't let him convince you otherwise. Sorry you went through all that. Unfortunately, heartbreak is part of life but just know that you're not alone in that.
@SM-rp5xd Thanks
Yeah, I've read relationship/breakup posts, seen countless forum posts and comments on relationship psychology videos about how people who've been in toxic relationships (especially multiple or only toxic) actually crave the chaos. They find healthy relationships boring/off-putting.
In this case, his family seemed healthy. His sisters were both happily married (and he outright said his parents - especially his father - hated his ex). They loved me though. So that makes me believe that he wasn't someone who came from abuse, but she was his only relationship before me. He said he'd never had the courage to ask girls out because he feared rejection. So even though he seemed confident, I think he must've suffered from LSE that made the relationship worse. Codependent like you said. And he let her & his therapist essentially gaslight him into believing HE was in the wrong for not being comfortable with her sleeping with other people even though he'd sacrificed so much. Whatever one's opinion on polyamory, I think this was a clear case of toxicity.
But no, I was supposedly the problem.
The worst part was this was not the first time I was "blindsided". 13 months before this relationship ended, I was blindsided by my previous boyfriend. I think he was struggling with his schooling and panicked when I started talking about building a future together. He said I was more serious about our relationship than he was (even though he introduced me to more of his family much sooner, was eager to meet mine, said he loved me, and basically showed no signs that he wasn't equally serious).
Back then, I tried winning him over with arguing, begging, no contact - the whole arsenal of tricks to try and "get your ex back". Nothing worked. He moved on and breadcrumbed/friendzoned me for months before I cut off content permanently (he still wished me Happy Birthday but never apologized, express remorse, or tried reconnecting to reconcile). So when I met this latest man I said I was messed up because of that. He knew because I'd initially pulled back from meeting him right before he left but he offered to be friends so we connected over text before meeting in person and becoming official. So when I told him the whole painful story, he swore he'd never blindside me. So whether he really went back to his toxic ex or simply couldn't handle a normal, healthy relationship, it still felt like a betrayal.
I'm off relationships and men for the foreseeable future. Finding one is tough enough. Keeping them seems to be even harder. And as I get older, the dating pool gets smaller.
Finally said to myself this week that this was it. There was a kernel of stupid hope that wished either ex would finally reach out, say they were wrong and beg to have me back. But I know now that that's impossible. Probably for the better but still.
Closed that chapter now.
Better to know before the wedding than after. It'll be hard for a while but you will be okay. Life goes on, bigger and better things in the future. Much love from Australia 💕
Lmao the Ex came to beg her to take his ass back 🤣 omg stop
She needs to LAUGH at his face. Like LAUGH LOUD. He will take the hint.
The fact he bought the girlfriend he left you for to your door several times, says to me he thinks you're still a pushover and you'll cave eventually. Luckily, you've grown and learned because of what he did. I would tell him you're getting a restraining order if he continues.
So weird…so weird that the ex supported that…so weird that they thought that was a good idea…
Both of them sound like they have some empathy issues. Like, how can any empathetic human being hear that plan and actually think that ANYBODY would be ok with allowing that plan to go down.
Insane.
I am speechless.
AND THEY RETURNED!!!
After the first attempt they came BACK!!
It makes me so
So mad.
AND THESE ARE ADULTS!
Marriage is hard enough without starting it with a lack of trust. And no, it's not childish to refuse to see someone. And it's rude that he thinks he can show up and be heard. When his actions don't match his words, there will be no trusting his word. He needs to get over himself and move on.
Love your videos, Charlotte!❤❤
That’s it exactly! He secretly texts the ex for 3 weeks and leaves OP for the ex and then (maybe) the ex leaves him and he thinks he can give some bs apology?!? When that didn’t work and OP says don’t contact me again, he has the audacity to show up at her house… twice? RUDE!
I agree. She doesn’t owe him anything nor is she obliged to listen to him. She said not to contact her, he needs to respect that and not show up at her door! And with the other woman there too, no thank you!!
If he really needs to say something to her, he can write her a letter. Which she may or may not respond to.
The first sentence says it all 👏
I had wedding jitters too and questioned everything about my wife in the weeks/days leading up to the wedding. I think it's normal considering you are committing the rest if your life to that person and you want to make sure she/he is the right one. This guy has no loyalty and is always looking for better. She clearly isn't enough for him and he will do it again if given the chance. He may have learned that the grass is not greener on the other side but he blew it. She lost all trust in him.
Yep, 100%. I, too, had jitters before marrying my partner, and I did the mature thing and told him. His reaction was the final reason I married him (among others). He was incredibly supportive and didn't even flinch. I couldn't ask for a better partner for me.
@@bunkertons We did talk about it too and she was going through the same thing. We just laughed about it and it made things way less stressful.
I'm one who keeps a cordial relationship or even friendship with exes - in some instances, I was proud of the men they had become over the years. I feel happy for their current partners and genuinely wish them all the best.
But that's it. I've never considered going back together with them, even if we've grown and it seems like there's still chemistry, and definitely not if they're currently involved with someone else. We ended the relationship for a reason, and it makes no sense (at least IMO) to try and rebuild a bridge that's already been torn down.
Every time my exes hit me with the "have you wondered, what if we didn't break up?", or start comparing their current SO to me, or even vaguely seem to go down the road of "you're the one who got away and I want you back", I immediately shut it down and let them know I'm no game. Not worth it; neither their SO nor I deserve to be treated that way.
"She doesn't love me like you" is not the romantic statement he thinks it is. That's not about OP as a person, it's "I like when you do things for me" the longer version being "you did all these things for me that the other girl won't do and I don't like having to pick up after myself". I mean OP actually wrote that he is messy and she always cleaned up after him, she even said it was something she missed after he left which tells me she was okay with him being a slob and her taking on more chores.
I hope she doesn't take him back. He does not deserve her.
This.
I think she more missed it because it was familiar. Losing someone makes you miss their better sides and worst sides alike because it was them. It doesn't mean she was perfectly okay with him being messy, it was probably still irritating, but it was also part of someone she loved, so it not being around any more would still feel weird until she adjusted to being alone again.
I also don't think he fully means just 'I like when you do stuff for me' but also, this person only knows the version of him from years ago and him living with her likely broke her illusion and led to his New Relationship Rush of Reconnecting fading and he realised he was a dumbass that threw away real love for someone searching for an idealised version of him.
But yeah, she should not take him back. Ever. Because he'd likely make the same damn mistake if he got a crush on someone else too.
Dude has nothing but the audacity bringing his ex to your door. That is insane, and deeply disrespectful.
For me the biggest red flag was "you can cheat as long as you come back to me".
He still thinks she belongs to him.
the fact that he actually wanted to meet up with his ex and had the curiosity was the issue to begin with. if a man is truly 100 in they wouldn’t even think twice when the received that email and would have dismissed it.
Forgive? Yes, for your own sanity. Forget? Never. Forgiveness does not mean everything goes back to the way it was before. It just means moving on and not throwing it in their face at every encounter.
That’s my policy. I forgive but I’ll never forget the wrongs. It feeds into the foundation of any existing relationship.
Forgive yourself first - not for doing anything wrong, but for being human and having mixed emotions. That makes it a lot easier not to feel guilted into doing something that will only benefit the person who hurt you.
I don’t have to forgive to move on. Each to their own, but I don’t get this notion that forgiveness is necessary to heal and move on.
@@ida6950you need to forgive to move on because it means letting go of the anger and other negative emotions. If you still get angry or triggered about how you were wronged, how can you move on? Especially since trauma from past relationships always find a way to manifest in new relationships we make base on our own habits. Forgiveness is ultimately just letting go. And if you don’t let go, you’re essentially just dragging your baggage everywhere you move on to.
@@melissaherrera940 No, I do not. I absolutely do not have to forgive anyone to leave things in the past. I don’t get angry or triggered or have baggage, I just think ‘fuck em’ and move on with my life. And tbh it’s very annoying and insulting when people insist that others have to forgive those who’ve wronged them. That’s your philosophy, not mine.
Trust is like a vase. Once is broken is broken. Even if you glue the pieces, the cracks will be there forever.
Similar thing happened to me. Its really hard not to fold but im glad his family was supportive of her making her own choice. Ive been in a situation where his mom and sister would call me and say if i didnt take him back he would harm himself. It was an absolutely exhausting experience.
If she gets back with him then she deserves everything that happens. He left her waaaay too easy. Grieve and move on.
The ex may not have feelings for him, but he showed he still had feelings for his ex. Never be the second choice, you'll never stop worrying when he might leave and that can take it's toll. Find someone who makes you feel safe. Someone who sees you as THE CHOICE, not just an option.
Well said.
@@deeznuts7061 Nobody likes it when I say this (specially if they are hopeless romantics tbh), but here it goes: There is no rush to get married.
It's important to give the relationship time and get to know your partner well enough. I know 3 years into a relationship sounds long, but depending on the age and level of maturity of the couple it can mean nothing in terms of getting to know each other. I am not blaming her for what happened, I am just saying that I've seen many couples rushing to make things official and then they ended up either canceling the wedding or divorcing. And truly, is not easy to know but it's better to be very sure before making this type of commitment.
Here's the thing with cheating and why "making it even" won't fix things: The main issue isn't that you slept with someone else, it's that you broke your partner's trust. The majority of relationships have an agreement of exclusivity, aka unless you and your partner agree to an open relationship or something along those lines, going outside the relationship goes against the agreement. That is the issue. If your partner lets you sleep with someone else, like what the now ex-fiancé is suggesting, it isn't the same as what he did, because he's allowing it to happen, it isn't a violation of trust like what he did.
EDIT: Used the wrong 'your,' I am ashamed of myself
Unless you edited it already, you used the right "your". Even if you didn't, we'd forgive you since your points are correct and you acknowledged it. 😉
@@saracantrell7071 I fixed it in the edit, but thank you
You totally should be able to hang out with an ex, and your partner should be able to come if they want to. Also I make it as appropriate as possible. Lunch, a 5 pm dinner come home by 8/9, don’t be drunk, check with your partner to make sure there’s nothing on the schedule. Yes you don’t owe anybody anything but this is how I choose to show respect At the end of the day no amount of rules is going to keep someone from cheating. And when people show you who they are believe and pay attention. Don’t forgive, don’t teach don’t preach don’t argue you don’t need closure. What you were hearing and seeing is the experience you’re having either choose to believe it or not. The fact that this man did this to a fiancé makes it hard for me to believe that there wasn’t warning signs.
Sounds too much like encouragement, and not respect.
People need to stop romanticizing the idea of the one that got away because if you really think about it, the relationship wouldn’t have ended if you guys were such a good match
This sounds almost like what happened with me and my ex, we were engaged ( no plans for marriage yet ) but he called me up and said he wanted to try and date other people ( I didn't ask further than that because honestly I didn't want to know at that point ) and then he wanted me to 'wait around' just in case he changed his mind. The answer he got was the same thing I said to him before we started dating, "If you hurt me, that is it, I stopped giving second chances a long time ago because of the amount of people who have hurt me/let me down/took advantage of my kindness." and what I added on "I am not going to wait around for you while you essentially cheat since you want me to wait and see if you want to date them!? I'm sorry but no, we are done." and that was the end of that, I did attempt to stay friends with him and by doing that realized how big of a bullet I missed. Glad I didn't stay in that relationship. And he does realize the mistake he made but way too late, I blocked him on social media ( we still have some mutual friends so I would see him post some times ) and then a few days later I got a message from one of the mutual friends saying "____ wants you to unblock him, he is going through some stuff and your messages from before help." Then the friend apologized incase he had brought up any bad memories. Meanwhile, when I read it I laughed and said "No I am not going to do that!" outloud when it comes to unblocking him. He is going to have to go find somebody else to make him feel better.
I’m SO FRACKIN PROUD OF YOU!!
I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE HAS TOLD YOU,
BUT YOU DID GREAT!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉
Hopefully he learned SOMETHING from that situation.
🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊😊 you did great!
@@joyhope9486 @AronhiVasquez thank you and no nobody told me this before, you guys put a smile on my face :)
Well done, after awhile he'll move on.
So pathetic when they try to rope their friends into doing their dirty work for them 😅 no means no 🙈
My husband and I were each others 'one that got away' sometimes it really can work. But like I say, we both felt that way. And we reconnected at a time when both of us were single so nobody else got hurt in the process.
I totally believe that people are capable of of doing some reflecting, that is very possible 😊
I'm my ex's "the one thay got away." It's new. He was the best person I dated, so I'm giving it another shot. I don't regret decisions made in the past, but it was really easy to be in love and fall in love again this time around. We're more mature and have grown as individuals, so I hope this is it for me. Oh, we were alao single when we reunited again. Fingers crossed.
She was second choice after the first breakup and now she’s second choice again. She deserves better, someone who loves her and choosing her first. Know your worth!
My spouse was almost my "one that got away" (there was no one else, just didn't think I was worthy of love). I'm so glad I listened to the little voice in my heart telling me that we can grow together and it would be beautiful.
Fast forward almost a decade and I'm watching this. I walked up to him, gave him a hug and said that I am a lucky lucky person. Because I caught him in the middle of a train of thought he blurted out that he saw a video of a hippo farting. I laughed so hard that I nearly fell on the floor and he had to hold me up while holding his sides laughing. After that he showed me the video. At that point I actually did fall to the floor laughing. We were both in tears.🤣 I love that he is the one that I share hilarious moments with as well as serious ones.
All that to say, I'm counting my lucky stars that I made the right choice. ❤😊😊
Having known several people who maintained friendships with exes, he's the issue here, not going to catch up with his ex. It gives strong vibes of the sort of person who is always keeping an eye out for something better and struggles to be happy with what he has. Whilst people shouldn't settle, it's important to evaluate these things in a bubble "is this relationship making me happy or would I be happier solo?" vs through comparison "could I be happier with someone else [usually an idealised idea of that someone]?".
Well said.
Well said
Really good point.
I'd be over at his families houses all the time, family events, holidays, family birthdays, I'd remain close to his family just out of pure SPITE. Knitting with nanna? Now an every Sunday event, Brunch with his most gossipy aunts? Hell yeah. Sir, you can't get rid of me and you'll never have me back.
When I was young, I didn't want to be in a serious relationship most of the time, so I tended to date a guy about 3 months before moving on. Most of the time they weren't feeling it either, so they were fine with breaking up. However, they would ask if it's okay if they remain friends with my dad! I was perfectly okay with that because my dad was awesome and loved teaching and helping others with car and electronics repairs. He could fix almost anything except a broken heart. He tried, though!
Thats stalkerish psychotic behavior. That will get you a restraining order or worse right quick. No way anyone would want you back if thats how you think. Sheesh
Only if it’s justified. Be careful bc Someone mentally ill will see this and take it seriously. I have an ex who was the love of my life who thought i cheated so he broken up w me but he realized i didnt and wanted me back. I said HELL NO.
He WILL NOT give me up 11 yrs later and hangs out with My family and tries to come to family events which makes me not want to invite my long time bf. There is not reason for all this. So uhm, be careful what u say on the internet, theres Always some idiot looking for validation for the shitty things they do.
Yup!
Legit insane behaviour
Im glad his family is on her side. He sucks love, its hard to recover from something like this but you will be ok and you deserve better. Stay strong and move.
I dont fuck with people that say marriage is a big deal and it’s scary when you’re literally living a married life only without the paper. You live together, pay together, eat together and have kids together. The moment you share kids the commitment is bigger than marriage. Some people are just cowards