toxic reddit posts that took things up a notch - REACTION
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- čas přidán 27. 12. 2022
- toxic reddit posts that took things up a notch - REACTION
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Hey ya'll! Today on my channel we are reacting to some aita posts that are totally and completely toxic. Spoiler alert, they are the AH. Enjoy :)
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Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I make a joke or two. I love poking fun at social media, weddings, entitled people, tiktok and OF COURSE petty people. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
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He's traumatized from being bullied for being short... But yet here he is bullying his daughter for being tall. Make it make sense!
It doesn't make sense
As a girl who was severely harassed and bullied physically and mentally because I looked like a teachers assistant in 5th grade. It didn't help I had a lot of trauma so I couldn't relate to my peers. I hated how I looked and wish I could have been a cute petite girl.
Once a teacher's aide told me when I asked for help being I was being bullied, she straight up told me " those tiny petite girls can't be bullying you because you're so big" that has stuck with me for so long. Since like 3rd grade. So I feel so sad for that daughter.
@@FukaiKokoro That teacher's aide was too dumb to be a teacher
Teachers aide should have been fired. 🤮🚮 @@FukaiKokoro what gross behavior. Sorry that happened to you! 🥺
Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me that a lot of people misuse the word “trauma.” Not every difficulty in you life should qualify as such. Of course, there are extreme forms of bullying that can cause trauma, but OP in the first story seems more bitter and resentful than actually traumatized. Of course, we don’t know him, but based only on his post, I would say it’s possible he is a vulnerable narcissist.
As a 5’9 female, my dad told me my height would filter out insecure men. I was sad when I was younger when he said that but now I’m happy 🎉
That's a wise thig he told you. I get it would have been hard to go through years of feeling "wrong". Love reading that you are happy where you are now!
Same, I'm 5 11.
I'm 6' and hubbs is 5'10". He's the most masculine guy I've ever met 🔥💋😍
I'm not as tall, just a hair over average at 5"7, but I'm also very alt (half shaved head, piercings, etc), anytime I wear my heeled docs, I look down on many men and watch them flee. It give me SO MUCH LIFE! I love watching the garbage take itself out, I feel bad for that girl with the "traumatized" father though.
Heck yeah Awesome job Dad 😎
The "I want an open marriage" stories are always hilarious because it's always the person who pushes for it who gets out-laid and then left by the partner who was content being loyal until they started pushing.
I think there should be a separate series for these kinds of videos... I would pay to watch that
That's because guys are usually the ones pushing for it. Seems they forgot just how "easy" most men are while women usually have standards. Getting a guy to sleep with you or even date you is extremely easy.
Karma lol😂
He didn’t want to “keep things spicy,” he wanted to be allowed to cheat. If he wanted to keep things spicy, he would have bought her a riding crop & maybe some lingerie.
But it's also a way to keep it spicy, if both parties agree and one isn't a selfish jealous bigot.
@saanpeco1557 I agree with both of you guys. In this case, I believe he wanted his cake and to eat it too. Wanted to screw with other woman, while getting to keep his wife and not have to sneak around. On the other hand....there are many open relationships these days and for some people it works. There are many ways to spice up a sex life without bringing in other people. Most swingers swing because that is what they like to do, no matter how spicy thier bedroom life is already. I think it all depends on how you go about it, how it came about, and how ALL parties feel about it. As for me, I don't have an open relationship. But we like to watch each other flirt and get flirted with. We don't open our relationship simply because we do not want to sleep with other people. We have discussed an open relationship, but both agree it would not be for us.
Or hired a professional 😂
@@michellematthews8813These things can get messy especially spiritually that's a lot of soul ties and demons also it bad for society structure and order opens changes for more diseases and allows people to use one another.
@@carolinpurayidom4570 Not everybody believe your sould bs.
She refused an open marriage for years, now says yes. That means she had already checked out on your marriage and you after years of your pressure and showing her what you thought of the marriage. It's too late now, bro.
I HOPE that’s the case. Let her leave.
I thought the same thing, when I've read that there's no more spark in their bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but open marriage is about still CARING about eachother and getting SOME adventure elsewhere, instead of gradually losing interest in your spouse.
@@suonatar1 yeah, ideally, you're sposed to talk about your feelings of waining interest with your spouse as they happen and then problem-solve together. This is not that.
Are u ready for this..?
Poly people exist.
@@daisythorn217 Nobody denies that.
But if your partner is not ok with that, you shouldn't pressure them into this situation, when they have to share you with other people.
The A-hole who would not change the cat litter for his wife reminded me of a short little poem my mother taught me as a child " Here lies the grave of Mike O'Day, who died maintaining his right of way. His right was clear, his will was strong, but he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong."
If dying on a hill was a poem I love it! Can I use this?
Omg, I’m going to find an Etsyer to make a wall hanging for me of that poem.
That is a great poem! Thank you for posting it.
My driving instructor in our defensive driving class used to say 'you can't lie in the morgue crying "but I had the right of way!". That one has stuck with me not just for driving but in life more generally. Sometimes it's just not worth it.
@@carmelcutie1991 Of course! Isn't it great?!? I have no idea who wrote it! My mom taught it to me in the early 1980s!
Literally one of the wisest things I’ve heard. I need this on a tapestry in my house.
I've known at least two guys who very eagerly talked their wives into a threesome with another woman. I can understand that! And with much bitter sorrow they told me the story of how their wives then left, having decided they much prefer being with women! Can't help but laugh at that one!
I am single and do sleep around quite a bit and whenever couples approach me I usually turn them down because most of the time the girlfriend has been coerced into partaking in this. The messages are also always written as if it's the female part in the couple writing when I know exactly.. it's not. It is sometimes very tempting to accept and ONLY focus on the woman while getting it on NGL. Maybe that'll discourage those garbage boyfriends from asking again.
Absolutely amazing
Karma at its finest 😂
Women are objectively better partners than men, women should really embrace bisexuality more often. They are cleaner, more loyal, more sensitive and more caring in bed. Objectively the superior sex. Sorry dudes
I heard that too,boyfriend convince girlfriend threesome but when it happened the girl focusing on each other instead of him......
To the guys who’re thinking about asking their very reluctant wives to open the marriage.
Understand this.
Firstly - as soon as the question tumbles out your mouth. It can never be taken back. And what you’ve likely just communicated to her is that she is not enough for you. That she is so lacking in sexual appeal that you have this need to f some other woman.
Before you ask her - how about you start treating her, the way you treated her when you were courting/dating. Hold her hand, take her out to the places she loves, compliment her beauty, and the work she does for you and your family. Offer to help her with things she might need a hand with. Pay attention when she’s talking to you, and pay attention to the little things she does that had you falling in love with her in the first place. Notice the things that stress her out, and try to be an encouragement, a helping hand if needs be, and an ear to listen. Be the man you were, that had her falling in love with you in those early days. And then, try going to new places, and doing new things together. But YOU plan it. “Hey love, I need you to be free on Sunday, I’m taking you “x”. You’ll need to wear “x”. I’ve organised grandma to babysit for us… etc.
Marriage is hard. It gets boring, monotonous and stressful. Especially with kids. You know why? Because the seasons of life can be monotonous and stressful.
If you’re unsatisfied with your sex life, understand that she probably is too. The difference is, for women, all the other little issues need to be attended to first. Women, it turns out, aren’t to thrilled about having sex with a man who pays them no interest throughout the rest of the day. Or whose ‘interest’ is only a thinly veiled attempt to get them to capitulate into having sex - not a genuine show of affection, romance and love for its own sake.
It seems counter intuitive - but if she isn’t interested in sex, stop asking for a while…. But don’t be apathetic. All that sexual energy you have pent up (and by the way, I’m not disregarding your need for sex, it is valid and absolutely crucial to a healthy relationship - I’m just trying to help), direct it into romantic affections that are not short term and instrumental. See how you go with that for say, a month. And watch as your desire for each other ticks up. Assuming things aren’t already too far gone, and you don’t already despise each other. And assuming she’s a normal, fairly decent woman - not a raging, narcissistic harpy. I’m absolutely aware that women are just as capable of toxic and narcissistic behaviour as men are.
But in any case, watch as her trust in your ability to cherish and nurture the love you both share, grows.
We’re not like you blokes. Sex for us is ….. so personal and vulnerable. Having sex with someone who never helps out, never compliments us outside the bedroom, never shows non sexual romantic affection - it makes us feel like… like prostitutes. It’s an awful, cheap feeling. Having sex with your husband shouldn’t feel like he’s just emptied 3 weeks worth of dirty lunch containers onto the kitchen bench right as you finished the dishes. But it will if she’s not getting adequate support, affection and nurturing outside the bedroom.
Anyway - my two cents. For whatever it’s worth.
Bump! Because this was very well said!
Absolutely agree as a female. You put it so eloquently!
Sadly a lot of men lack empathy & only care about their own needs.
So thoroughly & excellently phrased! Can you be my relationship counsellor with me and my bf? Lol
Excellent advice, sister.
And, very, very well said.💗
I hope they listen to your wise words.
The open marriage guy - every time he begged her for an open marriage he was literally telling his wife that she was not enough for him, that she was not good enough for him, and that he did not appreciate her. He did that for years. Of COURSE she’s done with him!
Her saying yes was essentially the death rattle of his marriage and he was too stupid to realize it. I think it’s hilarious that he’s in this position now. He found out.
Absolutely! Wouldn’t be surprised if she files for divorce soon and sails into the sunset with one of her young suitors 😅
YUP. It's very satisfying to me that he's reaping his reward.
YES! i'm of the mind that open relationships can be very happy; i've met and continue to know many polyamorous couples so I have seen that it absolutely can work out, and it also absolutely can crash and burn - but the common denominators of EVERY one that crashes and burns is that a) it was a one-sided push for the relationship to be like that vs an enthusiastic consent between all parties and b) that the party who pushed for it had an unrealistic expectation that they were the hot one in the relationship
The open marriage one at 10:22
My immediate response: You’ve made your bed, now let your wife and her many boyfriends lie in it. 🤗 YTA
😂
😂
💀
34 years ago while pregnant with my first born, her father refused to clean the cat litters. I still harbour the resentment at his selfishness. We've been divorced for 20 years now, and it wasn't over the cat litter. But man, it sure spoke volumes.
Dude wanted an open marriage, and he got it, problem is, Wife was hooking up more than the Husband ever could/did, and now realizes it was a bad idea, because he thought HE was going to be the one having all the fun. He also thought his wife wasn't really going to participate.
My ex husband declared we were having an open marriage about a week after the wedding. So we came up with some rules and did what we were going to do. He could never find a woman to have his open marriage fun with. It was so bad that one of the women he was trying to hook up with was hanging out with him because she wanted to hook up with me. That day was hilarious! He was super angry when I said "nope. We're not retracting this. You decided it, you live with the consequences." Don't play games you're not certain you can handle losing.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes he fucked around and found out
I’m a unicorn and men hate it when I’m more interested in their women than them lol it tickles my soul
@@bantubrat343 than*
idk why some men don't realize women have it easier when finding sexual partners, but i hope he divorces you.
@@coltonsmith3270 you feel better? Lol 😆
For the last story, I'm willing to bet he thought that since she really didn't want to have an open marriage, that she wouldn't try to date other people. He thought he was gonna be able to play while having her to come home to. What a humbling way to find out that you're not as attractive as you thought.
😂😂😂😂😂
Bahaha I love it. Karma is amazing ❤
Yup
🥰😭👌🤣
Pretty much. People who beg for open marriages tend to be pretty irate when the partner treats the marriage this way.
Omg, I’m so triggered by that first story and so thankful my dad was the opposite. I’m 5’9 and I remembered when I once wore heels for a wedding. I went to hug my dad and realised I was an entire head taller than him. This mortified me at the time cause I was in high school but he was actually so excited by this and kept boasting to everyone how tall I was and saying how proud he was. It made me feel better and a lot more confident about height.
Dude, tell your dad I'm proud of him.
@@felinemoonchildYeah!😌✌️
You're so lucky! It makes me really happy to see dad's like that and knkw there's good 1s out there!❤
My dad was so weird about me having a large chest. In 4th grade, I already had a C cup, and by HS, they were 42FFF. My dad didn't like the attention it got me, understandable, but instead, he made it my fault and wanted me to BIND MY CHEST. I told him that was not realistic for 8 hours at school w/ 2 after-school programs. It became a big deal, so my dad enlisted his ENTIRE family. They were all talking about my breast. It was mortifying as a 16 yr old and gave me a complex till uni when I found myself. (Also helped I moved halfway across the country...)
@@SaintShionI’m sorry that happened to you, you deserved so much better, and you deserve so much more respect.
@@Mewa-tv6qc thank you💜
If my husband ever asked me for an open marriage, I would divorce him immediately. It's just a fancy way of saying you wanna cheat and f*ck around without getting in trouble.
Fr that would destroy me
Can you imagine your uncle trying to make your entire wedding all about him and his height complex?
Not even uncle, uncle in law! 😂😂 This family had nothing to do with OP's childhood bullying and likely don't even care if he attends or not. OP's a narcissist.
@RachelMaddowsWife So utterly bizarre. The guy decided that if _he_ had to suffer insecurities about his height, he was going to make absolutely sure that his daughter suffered, too. Please tell you wife I'm a big fan.🤣
I've heard of bridezillas, but what you call him? Uncle-in-law-zilla? Wedding guest-zilla?
@@marieclapdorp1417 guest-zilla lmao!! I have met few of those , will certainly remember this to calm myself next time
Good point - I hadn't even thought of that. That poor niece-in-law having to deal with that on her wedding.
I now feel sympathy and empathy for the niece as well as the daughter, whose father made her entire life about his height complex.
This butthole (the father) needs to go back and get some more therapy. There is no shame in needing more help. There is, or at least ought to be, shame in taking one's trauma out on other people.
2:15 "humanize her" yep. that' right there. even a dad has to struggle to "humanize" his daughter, and we're supposed to expect random men to treat us like humans? Also, daddy needs to grow up a little (in maturity not size).
Wow its not like he explained its becouse of trauma that xoused him to be diginosed with ptsd. Seriously the disrgard for mens mental health in these comments are fucking disgusting
@@poppen5708 what did tall women do?😂 It's his brothers and father's fault. He's a grown ass man having trouble "humanizing" HIS OWN FRICKING DAUGHTHER!!! So that probably means he does not treat/see other tall females as "humans" (his words not mine). Like one of the commenters pointed out, he's doing the same thing that was done to him but to his daughther. Sure we feel bad, but your trauma is NEVER an excuse for your behaviour, you should still be held accountable for your actions. He should work on his problems, without projecting them on his loved ones. The fact he can't see why it's such a big deal for his relatives to do as he says just to accomodate him and his insecurities is a major red flag to me. It has nothing to do with gender.
@@poppen5708 If you have so much trauma that you can't see your daughter as a human being, get yourself locked up somewhere for treatment, or ideally don't even breed in the first place. Yes, there's disregard for men's mental health in society, but this man is a piece of shit who's putting his daughter through the same abuse he himself faced, he deserves nothing but a single ticket to a care facility far away from his poor daughter.
@@poppen5708 Cry me a river.
@@poppen5708 are you kidding me? People go through rough shit every day and they don’t do this stuff to their kids. He needs to grow the F up an work on himself. He sounds like an entitled baby boy instead of a grown human.
As a 32 year old who has been triggered by men’s full beards (and sometimes even well trimmed ones) for half her life, the first guy is crazy. It took six years of therapy for me to stop being afraid of men who looked like my father, but never once in that whole entire time did I think that the faces that triggered my anxiety were actually going to abuse me. He wasn’t even abused or traumatized by a tall woman. Real triggers may never go away, but this sound more like a neurosis. By the way, what really helped me go from anxious to weary was moving to a neighborhood full of wonderful Sikh men who would take turns staying at the local park so no one would vandalize or do drugs there or mess with the little kids. Now I’m weary but only on the inside lol
God I love it when men force an open marriage and then regret it because their wives get hundreds of matches and they get zero. This guy even sounded shocked because his wife "looks like she's in her late 30's" or whatever he said as if that would deter men from drooling over her. 😂😂😂
Its actually a SUPER common scenario for guys to initiate opening up.the relationship and then freaking out/ being emotionally crushed because predictably the female partner ends up having more success finding new dates. Seriously every single article about nonmonogamy should start with that as a disclaimer.
True. Which is why when I hear people say that cheaters should be in an open relationship, I always respond with they would still be dishonest in that scenario as well. Because their intentions are never about honesty and mutual satisfaction, for lack of a better word; but for purely selfish reasons. So either way, they would still find a way to be dishonest.
Lets be real, they never wanted a mutual open relationship, they wanted a one-sided open relationship. In other words, "I want to be allowed to fuck around, but my partner should not do the same", its just a way for cheaters to try to be politically correct in a way. At the end, they want to cheat. Thats it. But they dont want to get shit for it, and they want a permanent back up, so they come up with the open relationship idea. There was a similar story before where the guy wanted an open marriage and the wife disnt but he insisted, and when they got it, the wife absolutely lived it and was living her best life. In the end he complained because he wasnt having as much fun and she wasnt paying as much attention to him. She left him in the end.
The saying is correct. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
exactly.
Mostly ego behavior expecting being more appealing than the partner.
That disclaimer....gods yes.
That last guy just wanted to cheat. He wanted it to be okay with his wife so he had to create an open marriage. Now he doesn't like the outcome. To bad so sad sorry about your luck. His wife is having a blast. She's not going to stop anytime soon. He did more than open his marriage. He opened his wife's eyes that she could have done better than marrying him.
Loved the open relationship story! My ex was flirting with other women and I was nervous he was cheating. We'd been together many years, were engaged, and had a kid together, and I guess I was willing to try almost anything to stay together bc I did love him, but knew the relationship was near its end. I asked him if he wanted an open relationship or to try dating someone else, but he said he didn't. Shortly after that I found out he was on Tinder, and he tried to say it wasn't a dating app, it was for friends. Found out he was seeing another woman. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't be honest even given the opportunity, he WANTED to cheat, wanted it to be secret. I left, but then he told me he wanted to make it work for our child. I gave him another chance, but he was lying and still seeing her, while telling her he wanted her and was done with me. He had the nerve to say he wished he could've had us both, funny since he didn't want an open relationship! I let them have each other because I can't stand liars. I think once a cheater, always a cheater and once a liar, always a liar!
I'm sorry but you took him back.........
The height guy is literally going to cause the same trauma on his daughter but in reverse. That’s so ridiculous. Why is he so concerned with other women when he’s supposedly happy with his wife?
Exactly what I thought
It is brining back deep seated issues. It because he's unhappy with his wife. He just tried to explain what happened to him.
He needs more therapy.
He needs more therapy. If he's so triggered by the height issue, he clearly hasn't dealt with it and shouldn't be taking it out on his kids.
It's called trama. It's not something he can help. Would you feel the same way if a female rape victom couldn't even let her husband or son hug her because of the trama? You can undermind his trama as much as you want but it's still valid.
I'm for the daughter getting therapy in this situation. She's young enough where it could still make a positive, lasting difference. If dude is 44 and still so butthurt over his own daughter, there's not much hope for him.
Story 1 is crazy. The guy resents all tall women for reasons they had no relation at all. Why do you hate these women when your actual bullies were your father and brothers?😬
trauma is not rational🙄🙄🙄
@@lifesabeach4813 its also not anyone elses problem but his. He's self aware of his trauma but isn't doing the work. No sympathy. Get help.
I feel like this is how a serial killer of tall women story would start..
Hating people and treating them poorly for the same reason you were bullied is definitely the way to go. I was unfairly judged and ridiculed based on my height... so guess what? FUCK YOU TALL PEOPLE. 😒
A question he needs to answer in therapy
For the last story remember the fact that he said he couldn’t find anyone “appealing.” Meaning he did get matches but he decided not to get with them because they didn’t fit his standards.
I'm so glad I raised my son to be confident in himself as a short man. He is the same height as me which is 5'4. My son loves tall women and never had a problem dating them. The women always loved his confidence and sense of humor. He is now engaged to a woman who is 5'7 and even begs her to wear heels because that's one of his things he loves. It probably helps that he is a very handsome man for his height. Lol
HAHAHA oh the open marriage one is funny. My ex of almost 3 years kept cheating on me so towards the end I offered to just make it an open relationship. He was super excited until we were discussing ground rules and I said I would also inform him of who I was with. He was flabbergasted. He apparently thought open relationship would only be open for him. He was pissed that I would even consider also being open. So I just broke up with him.😂
Lol, wow! Good job! 😄
Good for you. He's an asswipe
Well done! 😇
whats good for thee is good for me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What a stoopid d-bag. Do these guys just think "Open Relationship" means they can have their cake and eat it, too? Yeah, it's a great idea until playing by the rules turns out to be in more favor for the woman and not his little ding-a-ling.
Seeing his daughter grow up helped him HUMANIZE her?! How does he see every other woman? 🚩Also, 5'6 isn't even short. For a man yes, it's on the shorter side of the avarage, but not short!
Honestly, im kinda sad about that one story getting so much negative impact. Maybe wording was a little bad, plus it’s called.. trauma. Even other Kids picking on me in childhood brought Ton of long lasting effects I definitely dont like, i cant do much about it. Then imagine when Parents, Family, people who were supposed to support the chuld constantly picked on his height. Plus society also has that thing that ‘guys should be taller than girls’
He definitely didn’t fully recover but denies it, and it can hurt both him and people around him
@@CatU-U the way he talks about women is called something else. Sexism. Sexism is what is called.
Being 5'3 with my wife being 5'9. I cackled because I love when my wife wears heels. It's literally on him, he needs more work.
Nah, let's not make him feel better about himself. 5'6 is pretty short. I mean, dude... I'm six foot. I could see over this guy's head and down the street. Dude is short, and he has a child. He's old enough to get over it.
Its so damn short for a man. He should just accept that he's short. im 5 foot 10 and female, my sister is 5 foot 7 , my mom is 5 foot 8, my best friend is 5 foot 6. My fiance is 6 foot 6, my dad is 6 feet tall. 5 6 is about an average female height.
If my husband wanted me to open up our marriage I would immediately feel differently about him because at that point I would know that he was not happy with our relationship. I would know that he meant more to me than I mean to him which would make me disengage.
I just about died laughing at the “pinful” Hellraiser graphic.
Stories about people getting mad that the open marriage/relationship they had to beg their partner to agree to is working out better for their partner than for them are among my favorite internet folktales.
I know, it's so satisfying to read
Sweet sweet Karma
its literally karma doing it's job lol. the audacity to even ask, knowing that it might hurt your parnter that you even considered it, then not taking their 'no' for an answer and continued to bug them until they cave, of course karma is gonna get 'em lol.
That buttface essentially coerced his wife regardless of whether she wa comfortable with the open arrangement or not. When she finally caved in and agreed I have a feeling her feelings for him changed (or at least mine would have). And now that she'd realises her appeal she gets other people who appreciate her more than it seems her husband ever did.
Oh she's definitely leaving him.
@@mynameiselvispresleygirlsa5911
Well yeah. I certainly would’ve left someone who pressured me into something like that.
he left her emotionally so she just left
The day a husband purposed this to me it would be the day I'd leave. Obviously I'm not enough and he obviously didn't want a marriage. Just go leave the life you wanted of F around.
I am 5'2 and my husband is 5'.
He is incredibly short and he knows it and he's also made fun of at school and work. The great thing about him is that he's very confident and comfortable with himself. He doesn't let rude comments get into him and I'm proud of him for that. He also made this a motivation to work harder and is now the IT Director in his company at 38.
I dated a guy who was 5' 5" once who was one of the most confident men I've ever met, only in a good way, not arrogant. I'm 5'9" and he always said being out with me made him feel like he was dating a supermodel. What a sweetie, right? His confidence and lack of self-consciousness about his height made him incredibly sexy. One of the best boyfriends I've ever had.
Every single time he begged, she lost more respect for him. Eventually the respect was low enough for her to agree. Low enough that she didn’t even care anymore if he was with other women. The respect died completely when she saw that not a single other women wanted him. Now she spends all her time in search of a man she can respect 😂
In marriage, agreements almost always have exceptions. My husband takes out the trash and I do the dishes. But if he’s unwell I’ll take it out. If I’m not feeling good or am doing other chores, he’ll do the dishes. This is just one minor example. This husband seems like a teenager sulking because he has to do a chore he feels like he shouldn’t have to do.
100% this. We have pets that I'm the primary caretaker of (he loves them too it's just how we worked it out) but when I had surgery and literally couldn't he did all their care taking. It's not that serious dude.
Imagine once the baby comes if he's asked to change 1 more diaper than he agreed on that week 🤦🏼♀️
THIS☝!!!
This is what a good marriage is, it's about being there for each other! If your partner is already complaining about a simple chore, imagine their attitude for the real obstacles that would come in between their marriage... They would break down crying for sure!
I saw this on another site and it had far more responses from the Redditers. EVERYONE trashed this guy for refusing to help her.
@UCFr0VqyX1xYs5VUFQqI7JUA What on earth makes you believe that he really wants the child and is ready for it, if he's completely fine with it getting affected by Toxoplasmosis just to prove a point?
That immature behaviour will just continue until the kid moves out (or the wife)
@@IndianaOona he said he read on the internet that it was fine with gloves and a mask. I think that’s how he’s validating it to himself. The thing is, you only do that if you’re single and there’s literally no other person can help because it’s still a risk. A very unnecessary risk when you have a husband who should be wanting to mitigate any problems that could harm the pregnancy and baby. Life, marriage, and especially parenthood is filled with tasks you’d rather not do. So this man is clearly not ready to be a father….or even a husband. He’s making a mountain out of a molehill and showing extreme selfishness. I mean, how long does it take to clean a litter box. A minute or two? And he can’t even give that much to her for the safety of their baby? He’s acting like they’re roommates with an iron-clad agreement instead of partners who take the burdens off eachother because you care and you love them.
Let’s stop lying to ourselves and calling it “keep things spicy.” He wanted to cheat without consequences so convinced his wife to do an open marriage and didn’t get his desired outcome.
Yep. Nothing more satisfying than when a man realizes that cheating or an "open relationship" works both ways and they just can't handle it.
@@PlanetCharnBaby The husband was the A*hole for wanting an open marriage, but the wife should be forgiving now that he wants a more Godly marriage.
Perfect example of *uck around and find out. 😂😂😂
@@tomcollins5112 yeah right😒
@@omotenaaa What's the right thing to do?
I've known a guy who wanted a open marriage too until she finally said yes and decided to get dressed up to go meet a guy "even though she was actually meeting her friends" but when he seen she seemed really willing to do it he changed his mind because he pictured her with another dude and couldn't take it 😂😂
When I was still single and ready to mingle I matched with a guy and early on in our convo he admitted to wanting a one-sided open relationship. I was a bit shocked to find out that they exist (oh naive me) and so thankful he said that upfront!
I worked NICU and took care of an infant whose mother contracted toxoplasmosis. She was one of the sickest infants I ever took care of. It was sad because the baby had to be moved 300 miles away from her parents. They never visited (no transportation-poor) but we called and sent pictures. She was in NICU for 2 1/2 months. We held a baby shower for her, we called her Gloria & mom liked the name so much, that's what they named her. But I'll never forget those evenings with her laying on my chest, in the rocking chair, flicking her foot every time she stopped breathing. (Which was every 2 minutes or less.) No joke. Toxoplasmosis is very serious, Gloria is very lucky to have survived.
I'm pregnant now and I have to ask since my fiance refuses to clean the litter box, he says only those allergic to ammonia are at risk that's not true is it? Should I stop cleaning the litter box?
@@koriandrstarfire9514 You should indeed start refusing and look up some articles for him to read. It is not the ammonia that is a problem but a possible infection with toxoplasmosis.
@@koriandrstarfire9514
YES please stop cleaning the litterbox😨😱. And no it's not true only ppl with an ammonia allergie are susceptible to toxoplasmosis. He is just being an idiot.
Maybe you could hire a kid in the neighborhood that could clean the litterbox for you. If he sees the bill then he might change his mind and do it himself.
@@koriandrstarfire9514
I wouldn't even be around the cat. They scratch in their litter box. It gets on their paws. They can curl up next to you.
I think it's just too risky having a cat around while pregnant.
I'd even keep my newborn away from cats, as well.
Thank you for all your advice it's been really helpful. I've found some articles that I'll send to him, I don't know where he found anything about being allergic to ammonia and pregnancy because I wasn't able to find anything like that. I'll also talk to some of my friends that have cats to see if someone can take her in for a little while. I don't want to get rid of her since I've had her since she was a kitten, but I also don't want to put my baby at risk. Again thank you all so much for your advice, I'll put it to good use! 😊
Bloody hell. That first guy needs SERIOUS help. Like, bad.
God I love this saying! Bloody hell😂😂😂
@@theresathompson7651 Lol me too! 🤣
He actually does, yes. Seems like he had been bullied so badly that even though he rationally understands that it is an issue he has, he still can't fully control his emotions and panic attacks.
@@sylverscale agreed. And he’s projecting his insecurities onto her so bad. It reminds me of my MIL, but only for my weight. When I was heavier than her, that was ok. But as soon as I got healthy and lost my weight after my babies, it was like she ramped up her attack and threw every insecurity she had about her weight on me. So sad! I desperately hope he gets help. This is seriously sad.
If he has 6 figures to blow he can get his legs lengthened.
I think it's funny that dude wanted an open marriage and constantly begged his wife to do it. But when she finally said yes. Now she getting more than you and you figured that it would be the other way around.. instead your setting home while she out 😂😂😂
I had to have an argument with my own mother when I was pregnant because I refused to clean her cat litter. Keep in mind I always helped around the house and did it when I was not pregnant. She made me feel like such a shit person for refusing to clean it. I also paid my mom around $400 a month just to live with her and was 19 at the time.
girl she hates you or going through shit and wants you to take her stress away by causing stuoid shi like that. Girl leave, she will never change.
Last post that wife must be playing the long slow burnout game with him. She didn't want it but because he kept pushing she probably is already finding a lawyer and filing the divorce papers and taking the open marriage idea as a way to start the dating and finding other candidates to marry.
She is probably thinking that her marriage was over from the first time he asked for an open marriage. And so she is making him regret and burn.
Coming soon: r/Pro Revenge 😂😂
Yep! And good for her. You can’t convince me Non monogamy is ethical. If there’s an entire word for the act of “being ok with it” (compersion) that literally tells you it doesn’t sit right with ppl . It doesn’t end well in 99% of the cases. Someone’s not satisfied . Someone catches feelings. “Rules” are broken . People are hurt. Marriages and relationships destroyed. It’s not worth it just stop being entitled. Maybe you’re not meant to be with someone for life but can’t you respect them while you have them? If y’all grow out of each other naturally, then go fuck other ppl.
I agree with this. If my husband ever asked for an open relationship, especially if he pushed it after I said no, I knew we'd be done.
Careful what you wish for!! 😂😂
Exactly. What he describes is not an open marriage.
She spent years with him basically saying she’s not enough for him and when she finally agreed, it was probably because she realized there’s no point in fighting anymore for a man who just wants an excuse to cheat ReSpEcTfUlLy. He didn’t know it then because he was just excited to screw someone else, but the moment she agreed to it, the love she had was gone.
Advice for men, us “nagging” and whatnot is a sign that we still care. If she has nagged the whole time about certain things and suddenly stops, it isn’t because everything is resolved. Somewhere along the way she figured out that it was a losing game and you don’t treat her with the respect she deserves as a wife and not a mother. By the time you realize she disengaged, it might be too late to win her back because she spent years fighting for the relationship and your lives together and it’s only once she has used all her love and energy that she lets go because the love is gone.
Last story- if you're in an established monogamous relationship and one person starts randomly pressuring you into opening the marriage it's because they either have already cheated or want a get out of jail free card for cheating
As 5'10" woman who grew up in Japan, I had a tall girl complex. But I have learned to accept my height and see its advantages. My long torso is ideal for being pregnant(I'm on number 2 so far). I married a 6'1" man, so I don't have to worry about having a baby that's too big for my body. It happens a lot with tall guys and short girl couples.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I found out I have toxoplasmosis, this is serious stuff! I had to go to the hospital every other day to get blood drawn to make sure it wasn't active when I gave birth. It could have caused her to be blind or brain damaged!! This guy is an a- hole for not doing that for her. My husband wouldn't let a pregnant woman scoop litter at all! Our neighbor got pregnant and he told her right away he would do her cat boxv for her, and he did! Your poor wife!
Sounds like you got a great guy!
Toxoplasmosis is no joke!!
How did you find out you had toxoplasmosis? How does one know? I heard it's super common but I've never heard of someone aware they have it. Did you get rid of it? if so how?
@@dolcepescas6153, in Europe, pregnant women get a standard bloodtest for CMV and toxoplasmosis.
Currently 16 weeks preggo here ! To answer your questions : if you're not pregnant, you don't know whether you could have contracted toxoplasmosis or not for two reasons : 1- the symptoms are the ones of a common cold. 2- it's not any more dangerous than a common cold to a fully grown adult without any specific medical condition and therefore not a big deal if you contract it and you're not pregnant. It's only dangerous for a developing fetus because it could cause malformations and therefore is usually only for concern in pregnant women. So, how do pregnant women know if they have / had it ? Well, they don't :D your OBGYN offers you to draw blood samples during your pregnancy to figure out : 1 - are you immune against it already because you unknowingly contracted it prior to being pregnant? If you are, congratulations, you are allowed to eat salami in pregnancy! If you are not immune, there are guidelines to follow included but not limited to the litter box thing. 2- do you currently have an active toxoplasmosis infection ? If yes, it is easily treatable by taking antibiotics. I personne still don't handle our litter box because you'd definitely take the antibiotics after you already contracted it and I simply would not want to risk my baby having any complications from it even from "just a few days". It's however very reassuring to know there is a solution should it happen in spite of being really careful. Also, drawing blood for toxoplasmosis is not an obligation, some women do not want to for various reasons and in Germany it's not refunded so it's up to you to pay for the blood work (around 15€ per time). As a personal example, I am not immune against it and therefore get my blood drawn monthly to check out that I still haven't caught it. To each their own pregnancy, however, I happen to have worked with a colleague who lost her eyesight on one of her eyes in the womb because her mother didn't know about toxoplasmosis and caught it during pregnancy. In the case of my colleague, she can never drive a car as a result. So... if it means I don't clean my cat's litter box, don't touch stray or dead animals and don't eat raw meat (sushi, salami etc.) or unwashed salad (presence of animal soiled earth between the leaves) for nine months... that's a sacrifice I'm willing to take for the child I and my husband very much both wanted. Hope you found it interesting and happy pregnancy to other soon-to-be-parents out there !
The open marriage one is exactly what he gets. What he didn't realize, once she caved and agreed the marriage was over in her mind and there would be no going back...lol
That' one is so pathetic. I bet he's really low effort and thought he could score PYTs his whole life and his wife would either be super lowkey or uninterested in side pieces based on her initial refusal. Maybe he'd do better with dating men...
I was thinking the same. Not that my husband’s ever asked, but if he did, and I agree, it’d meant it’s over for me
He deserved what he got: taught a lesson that is...
I've seen at least 5 variations on this theme. All of them a husband who wanted to play the field OR sleep with a coworker. The guy is only focused on the thought of screwing other women. In most cases they assume the wife won't enjoy seeing other guys. AND THEN the wife goes out and gets someone else or multiple someones. 🤣🤣 Suddenly the husband thinks the open marriage is a bad idea. LOL
Yeah. Open marriage is basically a modern term for adultery. If you're not willing to commit to one person and love them enough to be faithful then you shouldn't be married. Yeah, I know this is "judgy" to those of you in "open marriages". I don't care.
I think the guy that asked or in his words BEGGED for an open marriage would lose his wife if he retracted because it sounds like she is having more fun with other younger guys and is no longer interested in her husband romantically.
My husband and I had a similar agreement about me getting a cat. A little background: I'm more of a cat person, my husband is more of a dog person, I don't hate dogs, he doesn't hate cats, we just have our preferences. I chose not to get a cat for the first 5 years we were together. I work at an animal shelter and got to spend time with so many cats there, I was content. Until this one special cat slowly started to work his way into my heart. He came in around 4 months old, both eyes sealed shut. I worked in the vet office at the time, so I spent a lot of time caring for him. We got the infection cleared up but his right eye suffered unrepairable damage and would have to be removed. I tried so hard to get him adopted but as soon as people heard we would have to remove his eye, they turned away. My husband knew how I felt about this cat and one day told me to just bring him home. I thought he was joking but he meant it. I already knew I would be responsible for him, especially the litter box. About 4 months later, we found out I was pregnant (2nd baby). Of course I was no longer allowed to handle the cats at work, but a little information about toxoplasmosis, cats only get it from eating raw meat that has it. So of course when you work somewhere that has cats coming in you don't know, you will want to avoid any chances, including a private vet clinic. However, if you have a cat at home, that never goes outside, and only eats the kibble and/or store bought wet food that you feed them, there is no reason to fear toxoplasmosis. You should be washing your hands regardless, after cleaning a litter box since the only way to contract toxoplasmosis is fecal to oral. I cleaned the litter box for the majority of my first and second trimesters, wearing gloves for a few weeks after getting our second cat, despite my husbands concerns I was not worried because I was well informed. I see so many cats that get surrendered to the shelter because they're having a baby and it's so sad to see such sweet cats abandoned due to misinformation. The guy in this post is still an a-hole because about halfway through the pregnancy, it gets harder to bend down and clean the litter box every day. My husband gladly took over, without even asking, not only in the second half of my pregnancy but during my rough C-section recovery time as well.
When people ask for an open relationship, 9 times out of 10 they mean "I want the freedom to screw around, but I expect you to refuse any offers. Because I want to keep you on the back burner."
Where did you get those statistics?
I would be interested to see that data. I don’t think that’s true.
Monogamous people are always HOT about non-monogamy lmao. The man in this story is 1000% the asshole but that doesn't make your stupid statistic valid 😂
You guys, you need statistics to believe that there are people out there with these mindset? Or are you of the same opinion and not getting any actions and being bitter about it? 😂😂😂
I need hard proof, i dont understand what being facetious means! I refuse to believe a joke! 🙄🙄
Years ago, I was introduced to a married couple who where in an open relationship. The husband was overweight and balding whereas his wife (who initially refused the idea and eventually caved in) wasn't bad looking for a female in the gaming industry. As you can imagine, the husband quickly realized his mistake when literally no one would date him and his wife was getting all the action. Of course their marriage ended in divorce, and she married the man she was sleeping with during their relationship. I guess the moral of the story is, if you can't see yourself being intimate to only one person for the rest of your life, don't enter a monogamous relationship.
Who'd have thought?! 😅
What I’ve always thought. Stay single and you can get all the A you want. Marriage/relationship is not by force is it?
For a fEmALe
"Wasn't bad looking for a female in the gaming industry"... I'm sorry, but that is such an asshole thing to say
One would have to be a "special" kind of guy to think that their wife wouldn't be getting 2 to 3 orders of magnitude more interest that you would be.
Toxoplasmosis in fetuses is incredibly dangerous. I had a false positive in the beginning of my first pregnancy. Before the second test, I was so worried sick after what I read. My husband and family cleaned the litter box. The “baby” is now 24 and has always been healthy. 😊
I’m only 5 ft tall girl and I’m so jealous of tall women. Y’all are so majestic and I feel like a little hobbit walking around 😂
My wife and I had the same agreement about a cat. While she was pregnant, I cleaned the box as much as I hated doing it. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do for those that you love.
You’re a good reasonable man! A few months of scooping that box saved your kid’s (and really you and your wifes’) life. 🙌🏼
Yep. My husband has been taking care of this since we found out I was pregnant. He hasn't complained once. If anything, I'm the one complaining because I want to help lol
Well yeah. You wanted your wife and child healthy so you did what needed to be done. This story is baffling to me as he presumably both wanted and helped make that child his GF is carrying.
Yeah that OP sounds self absorbed
Thank you for being flexible when your family needs it. I hate cleaning the box, too, but I bet you're that animal's new best friend 😂❤
Watching his daughter grow up has helped him "humanize" her despite her height. Holy fk. My life experience has led me to avoid short men, as they're almost always weirdly passive aggressive or overtly rude. I'm 5'10... has my height been triggering these guys all these years?? WTF
Also the whole intro, in the first post, about how his daughter is a good ("shy") girl, that never causes trouble ("never been involved with boys or gone to parties late at night")? What does that have to do with his footwear dilemma? It reads like he was awkwardly attempting to "humanize" her in real time, but failing massively, and inadvertently put his weird sexist hangups on full display. What a creeeeeeep. I feel terrible for his kid. Can't imagine what her mom is like, I mean who marries a weirdo like that to begin with?
Aren't you generalizing?
As someone who is 5'11" I feel the same....
my dad is short as hell, just 1,60 m but the opposite of what you describe, he always attracted women like moths, he was little but confident, funny, treate ladies well. It payed of. My mom is the same hight as him, he never had any problems with her wearing highheels, more like opposite, he thought she looked sexy
Hey girl, I'm so sorry that you've been treated like crap by those jerks! Your height is NOT triggering. It's about their pride. Their childish behavior is from their own unresolved feelings at seeing a woman who stands taller than they do. They clearly have ego issues, so you're not missing out on anything! Go out there and be your beautiful glamazon self! 💕
"Pinful for me" I laughed a bit too hard at this😂😂😂
My last ex and I opened our relationship - at his request - and we had the Exact Same Outcome. 😂 He eventually got a second gf.. that drove him crazy within a month and he ended it w her. All his jealousy and double standards became a real turn off and I ended breaking things off with him. Honestly I wouldn't ever open my relationship again.
I feel so bad for women who don’t find out how bad their husbands are until they’re pregnant 😢
They know.
@@ineedhoez wdym?
@@ineedhoez no they don’t
@@ineedhoez u seem to know a lot about human psychology
@@ineedhoez A lot of women actually don't, because relationship dynamic changes when pregnancy is involved. It's relatively common for couples to break up during pregnancy or in the first year of a child's life because priorities are completely different all of a sudden.
In my mind, there’s an opposite Reddit post asking “AITA for faking dates and hanging out all night with my friends to teach my jealous jerk husband a lesson about open marriage?” 😂
Hahaha ok that'd be pretty funny
😂😂😂😂
Lol, I had the same thought! But I also kinda hope she's getting laid for real...
I'd love to hear her story, either way.
Honestly I don't think she'd waste that much time and effort on a guy who essentially bullied her into allowing him to sleep around with other people. Most likely she just felt rejected by him and is having her fun with people who appreciate her.
Coming from a tall woman, that first guy is really messing with his daughter’s mind. When you’re taller than the rest of your girlfriends, last thing you need is a father-figure reinforcing that insecurity.
The cat litter thing while pregnant is very serious, that guy is for sure an A HOLE my doctor didn't want me anywhere near the litter box and even suggested moving it outside. My husband is a not a cat fan, but had no problem protecting our unborn child by scooping some poop for 10 months. 💩 We basically had the same agreement beforehand about me handling all things kitty related.
I love that the wife is slaying it while he is seething all alone. He really thought he was gonna do something there. 😂
I asked my dad if I would intimidate him by being taller than him, and, with the best WTF expression, he said, "I wouldn't give a sh!!t." YTA 😂😂
Edit: Just scoop the freakin' litter box, bro.
Edit: Edit: You thought you had game, but your wife started playing on an expert, and now you mad. I mean, what could go wrong with letting your attractive, prime aged wife sleep around without consequences? You were only thinking of yourself, and it backfired fantastically.
The "open marriage" guy just wanted to sleep with whoever he likes while still having a wife at home. He didn't want an open marriage he wanted mistresses. Now he's jealous because his wife gets more action than he does. I hope she's living her best life and he's learned his lesson.
My father once told me and my siblings that if a human being is not capable of showing even a tiniest amount of kindness to an animal; run far, far away. This man despite being around a cat for a long time was not able to feel any kind of love for it, shows that he is not capable of loving anyone other than himself. I feel bad for the wife.
That's the funny thing about stories like this. He said he "mostly ignores" the cat. Which means he does interact with it sometimes. So I have to sit here and wonder how much "mostly" is in this context. He may not think he interacts with the cat a lot, but his wife might tell people that he loves the cat. Only an unbiased third party could tell the truth.
Just because you're around an animal doesn't mean you can grow to like it or love it. It's not like he's abusing the thing. He ignores it. Not liking animals doesn't mean you can't love anything else, it just means you don't have affection for animals. I don't really like dogs. I grew up with them, they annoy me, and I ignore them. They were the family dogs, btw. I didn't go out of my way for them except let them out into the yard as they were not mine, and not my responsibly. It's the same with the cat.
The wife could've given it to someone else for a time, but him not taking over responsibly for a cat he didn't want isn't a sign of anything.
Eh Idk I love dogs but I just can't get around to liking cats. I avoid my roommates cat as best as I can. He just doesn't like animals, what's so wrong with that?
@@eeriecraft1797 I would agree with you if he had said he had ignored the cat the whole time. Mostly ignored is not the same thing, and that's what leads me to believe there's something more. Even if he believes otherwise. And I'm not saying it's certain, but I do believe it's likely.
@@allyj8217There's nothing wrong with it, but I'm drawing my conclusion from the fact that he said he mostly ignores the cat. Yeah, it's not certain, but I do think it's likely that he has more of a connection than he realizes.
Oh yeah, that happened to my first marriage…husband got hot pants for a co-worker, came home and asked me if we could have an open marriage please. I cried over it for weeks, before agreeing, with rules. One of them was, in his words, “he’s not taking out my wife without a library card,” ie, he got approval. So even after picking out the guy, he still got his knickers in a twist when I found myself having fun (!!) while his co-worker btw wanted nothing to do with a fling. Lord knows where he got the idea she had any interest in him: she was already in a committed relationship herself.
So I get the nookie and he doesn’t. He gets torqued, gets drunk, gets violent, gets walked out on.
Prob not a good idea to try this thing. Don’t know when OP suggested this. My experience was a marriage from 1980-1984. So what I’m saying is, it’s *never* been a great idea.
Love your show!
To me, if you're not already that way inclined (have no problem with an open relationship), it's not going to go well. People who are already inclined to an open relationship should be fine, but not if you aren't down with it in the first place and have to think about it.
Funny, I have the same cat litter box agreement with my wife. When she was pregnant, I still didn't scoop it.
I just bagged the whole thing up and replaced the litter every couple days. Wasteful, sure, but I didn't have to deal with the litter box, like we agreed, and my pregnant wife didn't need to risk her health and the baby's health because of some stupid agreement.
God the cat one drove me mad, my friend has even cleaned my hamster out when me and partner were sick so she didn't suffer, like it's not their responsibility but yeah animals come with extras, my partner didn't even get a choice on the hamster but even gets up in night if notice she's out of water/food etc just accept the temp job she's pregnant!!!
Fun fact. My ex husband pulled a similar thing with the open marriage but I found out it was just a way to get away with the fact that he was already cheating. I'm still dating the man I met on tinder 7 years later and now divorced. I guess I can thank my ex for helping me find the love of my life. I didn't leave my husband for him. I left because emotional abuse escalated and I was constantly getting messages from friends and strangers with screenshots of what a creep my ex was.
The first story... You're not responsible for having a trauma or mental health issues but you are responsible for taking care of them and not letting them effect others. Also I find his freak out weird since usually you'd only be insecure about your girlfriend or date being taller than you. This man makes me all sorts of uncomfortable
yeah, as someone with traumas and neurodivergent, i genuinely understand what needing accommodations feels like, and i have body related traumas like that too, but controlling someone’s body is way too far, a rule of thumb that i have is that if what they’re doing has no correlations to me in any way, then it’s too far to bother them as it’s mostly my burden to carry
but most people don’t listen even when you’re completely reasonable so idk how he expects anyone to do what he wants
@@bluebeesmarple Agreed. I expect accommodations that I need to be honored, but I absolutely don’t expect others to curtail themselves for my benefit.
For example, if someone has a learning or physical disability, they absolutely should be given the tools to help them work through it. Meanwhile, someone with a phobia of mice shouldn’t expect the world to censor all rodent related imagery because it might trigger them personally. I mean, yeah, the people close to the musophobic person should be respectful/mindful of the phobia when around that person , but that shouldn’t stop them from adopting a pet mouse when/if they don’t even live together. People need to be reasonable.
@@MiraBoo exactly, that was a very good example! i wish people knew the difference, i just had a big fight with my brother cause he says i’m trying to control and change everyone by asking them to go out of their way just to do unnecessary things that are triggering and make me ill for no reason, like commenting on my body
people haven’t been able to tell when their freedom ends and someone else’s starts
@@bluebeesmarple Yeah, that's awful I'm sorry. Asking someone not to make comments to you, or aimed at you, isn't the same thing as controlling what they do generally, it's asking for some basic courtesy/respect.
@@TesriaT thank you very much :)
yes, im glad i wasn’t influenced by them into believing that, but since none of them respect each other’s boundaries im told to accept that treatment too
that’s the issue i’ve always had with “put yourself in someone else’s shoes” cause people get the impression that everyone has to be okay or not okay with the same things as everybody else, understanding why someone feels something isn’t necessary to respect them
Opening things up should always be an add-on to a good and stable relationship, never the fix to a relationship that’s lacking.
My mom is a therapist and her question to cat box guy would be “would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”
My mother had toxoplasmosis while being pregnant with my sister ( nobody told the single mom to stay away from the litter) she was born not nine but six months old, she had holes in her retina, she fit into one small female hand and her legs didn’t even stick out, the smallest diaper was thrice her size and she needed to be in an incubator for months. She has Legasthenie and always was one or two years behind all others.
With lots of love and tears we brought her through, my mom, my grandma and me (5 when she was born, 6 when I was able to first hold her)
Fuck that guy, leave that guy who clearly feels towards his future child like he does about the poor cat that’s sitting in their feces (she will sure looooove that child, lol)
That is so so intense. Thank you for sharing.
Honestly I'm surprised she married him if he hates animals as much as he says. If a guy doesn't like animals its a huge red flag to me, even if he's not a Dahmer type. If he can't respect a smaller life form, he can't respect an unborn baby. Everyone exists for him in his head. He probably doesn't even give a crap about his wife [pun intended] he just married her for the sake of being married because it makes him look good.
I'm also probably biased because we rescued 6 strays and my husband cleans all of the boxes due to a severe back injury.
😢I'm so sorry your family has been through this 😔
@@robynvanhorn thank you for your empathy
I don't think that guy was an asshole for sticking by his boundaries.
I do think he was stupid, though, for not suggesting to his wife that they hire someone else to take care of the responsibility that she can no longer manage. That solution solves the problem without forcing him to surrender his principles while keeping the wife healthy and the cat is taken care of.
I understand that your life has been traumatic as a result of toxoplasmosis, but as far as I see it, he stood by the agreement that they had initially made, and she was trying to change that.
Bringing up his own daughter has helped him "humanize" her???!!? Wow. Give this man a medal, father of the year over here, ladies and gentleman.
I think he means it in a 'panic inducing source of fear' vs 'person' way. Not the usual way men don't see us as humans. It's messed up, but I certainly can't imagine my child being a trigger to my phobias. I suppose it would be like my child growing up to be a tarantula-person? That does seem terrifying af.
@@TheHestya his brothers and father tormented him about his height, but somehow women became a trigger for his trauma. No way there isn’t misogyny there
@@kissit012 But they tormented him about women not wanting him and about women laughing at him. And I think he doesn't expect his daughter to laugh at him, he expects other people to laugh at him when they see him next to his daughter if she's taller. He's scared of 'the people', not 'the women'. But the cause will be being shorter than daughter so he's projecting it onto daughter.
To be fair, this is all just assumptions. It's not like he explained it well. And I tend to give people too much benefit of doubt for shit that makes no sense in my brain. So my judgement really can't be trusted on that because I struggle to assume the worst about people. Even if they prove to be the worst all the time.
I laugh so hard when Charlotte reads the typos, as is… it is golden comedy 😂😂😂
I am in vet school and toxoplasmosis is a SERIOUS threat. Gloves and handwashing do NOT prevent it as it can be inhaled as well from litter particles. She is very likely to have a miscarriage.
I've read quite a few posts where the husband begs and pleads and basically harasses his wife for an open marriage once the husband realizes no other woman wants him while his wife is getting dates left and right. Huge regret on the husband's part everytime.
I can't help but laugh at these guys. This happened in two of my friends marriages. One asked my advice before approaching his wife and I told him "She's so much hotter than you, you're gonna regret it." He got angry but months later when she gets proposed to by a man 11 years younger making twice what he does he came to my door and I could tell by the look on his face it was time to pull out my "I told you she was hot shirt" I had printed the day after he told me his plans.
@@udubeats4543 sometimes the trash takes itself out. LOL Love the shirt idea.
Karma working its magic. And it's always average guys who are narcissistic enough to think women will be lining up for them, when in truth they were lucky to get that one woman in the first place.
@@hellund2874 the manosphere tells them 30+ men are in their prime, especially 40+
most men are not brad pitt
@@udubeats4543 how old was the original couple with the 11 years younger guy?
I blame manosphere propaganda telling old guys they can get 18yo "babes".
A long long time ago I experienced something like the last story on a much smaller scale with an ex when I was still very young. It was a sh*t relationship to begin with. I was 20 and had some severe issues, lack in confidence, separation issues, you name it. He was 15 years older than me and had a very toxic streak - duh... being a guy who goes for insecure girls that much younger - and he would frequently critique my body or taste in music, clothes and whatnot. It was a nightmare of a relationship with frequent blowups ending in me crying my eyes out not understanding what was so wrong about me.
Anyway, at a particularly nasty patch of that nightmare when we were kind of close to finally breaking up, but were about to go to a festival together - long planned, tickets bought and all - he said 'Fine, as it's long planned and we both have been looking forward to it, let's go anyway, but just as friends.'... basically him wanting a free pass to hook up with someone else if the opportunity arose. Me being the miserable, insecure mess that I was back then, I somehow agreed, and so we went.
Well... Most people at the festival were between 18 up to 25, 28 max. He was one of the few older people there lol. Plus I was a 20 year old girl (and by far not as unsightly as he tried to gaslight me to be). I was dancing the whole day with various people, exchanged some numbers, didn't pay for a single drink myself, in between even met some nice cool girls who pulled me along to hang out. Meanwhile he was stuck with his beer alone in his corner looking at the stage, his only diversion being to go get another beer. When we met up later to get on our way home he was quiet as a mouse the entire way, and for me that night the scales finally dropped from my eyes and I understood what a miserable gaslighting loser he was, and he knew I knew.
It's crazy how long this lies back now. I've sure made more mistakes in relationships since, but I've never let anyone treat me that way ever again. at this point I've been in a loving eye to eye relationship for 11 years, married for 8. Awful as that guy back then was, at least he showed me clearly all the red flags to avoid from then on, so I could pay more attention to the good ones, and finally the best, my best friend and husband.
Go you! 😃
Yes girly! I'm so happy for you!
That's a great story! I am so glad you were able to learn from that experience and move forward in a positive way. Good for you! 😃
Yay! Happy for you. And I love that the “petty revenge” was just you being your awesome self💥💥💥
That’s wonderful for you! That older man dynamic can truly backfire - on THEM, when they happen to be toxic jerks preying on a beautiful younger woman’s sympathies and insecurities. They finally go a bridge too far, you see the weak man behind the facade, and there’s no going back to that kind of crap. Thankfully not all older men are like that, but choose carefully! Remember, you will be the one choosing his retirement home.
I know at least five guys that convinced their women partners to have an open relationship only to discover their partners are getting all kinds of action and the dudes are staying home and getting none...
This is how it goes fellas almost every time. You messed your relationship up before she even thought about seeing other men.
If you want to be a single man about town then do, otherwise you cannot have your cake and eat it too. The only time long term open or multiple relationships work between men and women is when the relationship started out that way...not after you have been married or together for years.
For the record, there are very few straight women interested in dating/hooking up with some married dude. How do they not know that?
That first story about the heels had me thinking, “how is any of that your daughter’s problem?” the entire time. Bro needs to grow tf up
I don’t understand this short man syndrome thing.
I’m 5’6”, and my height has never been an issue for me.
My self esteem is not linked to my height.
I’ve had a couple of friends in open relationships and in every case the person who pushed in never got with anyone and the one who wasn’t as into it was the on getting all the hookups. I found it hilarious
I had an ex who wanted an open relation... I was young and so heart broken when he mentioned it but I thought... better look in new directions cause he won't stop himself anyway. Three months later, and after quite a few dates, I left him for a very handsome guy who was more serious and who helped me realise the first one was just not worth it. His face was priceless when I dumped him and said that I took him up on the open relationship thing and ended up meeting someone better!
Open relationships should be MUTUAL. If one person has to be convinced, persuaded, or coerced, the likelihood of the relationship working out is slim.
I bet the ones pushing for the open relationships were also the ones who were the most insecure. Since insecurity can be a pretty unattractive trait, it makes sense that they’d end up being the ones who are less successful at finding partners.
The cat litter one really bothers me. Even if you just inhale it, you can get it and the unborn child is most vulnerable. What a pos
I had almost same issue happen with my now ex husband with the cat. He was a baby and wouldn’t clean the litter box. But when I was pregnant, we both agreed that he would do it because of the fears of toxicplasmolysis, and for the safety of our baby. We should take every precaution. Low and behold we get home and my baby is four days old and I see my cat peeing in the new bedroom carpet that we put in for our infant. Lose my mind go check the litter box and it clearly has not been cleaned in forever. I asked my ex husband about that and he said that he did it for a while but it was “icky” and he didn’t want to do it anymore so he thought it would be fine if he just left it. “Idiot, no they piss and shit everywhere then. Would you want to use your toilet if it was covered in piss and shit?” That was one of the first red flags of many that my ex-husband was a giant man child and did not want to be an adult or a parent. If OP sees this, she has been warned. He’s a giant man child. Divorce him now while you still can.
That last one: "Be careful what you ask for; you just might get it." And there's always "Fuck around and find out."
Omg the last one about the open marriage is literally the definition of KARMA and I looove it😂
Toxoplasmosis can make the baby handicapped. The pregnant wife would not be really affected but the baby can have severe malformation. This is insane.
All the power to that wife in the last post. He literally wrote that he BEGGED HER FOR YEARS!!!! For fuuck sake. So she DIDN'T want an open marriage. I think that at the point when she finally agreed, she was just done with him and with that marriage. So she may be petty and having her little revenge but seriously, I don't blame her.
“Being short doesn’t make you less of a man”
Thank you!! 👏👏👏
As a 5’4” guy I can empathize with the guy to a degree but he is using his complex and trauma to still not fully accept that he’s in fact a little short. Being short, tall and everything in between is not in anyone’s control and there’s nothing wrong with anyone’s height. I used to wear lifts and stuff but now I wear zero drop shoes cause I wanted to be secure with my height.
Good on you. There are plenty of women like me who prefer shorter guys. I like being able to look a guy in they eye rather than constantly craining my neck. And frankly any man who can confidently swagger into the bedroom buck naked is hot af (you know provided consent and all that jazz).
Good on you for not giving into stupid societal expectations! Using those height increasing thingies only results in having more negative feelings towards your height and feeding into the stigma regarding shorter guys and people in general.
My bf is 5'2" and I'm so thankful that he is perfectly comfortable with his height, and even encourages me and hypes me up whenever i wear heels.
We really need more people to work towards ending this stigma once and for all.
Being secure in who you are is def a sexy trait.
My husband is on the short side, but we're actually the same height... so I like to say we see things eye to eye lol
I honestly find short guys attractive, but so often they are toxic nightmares due to extreme insecurity. It's such a shame! Good for you embracing who you are!
One of the people I watch on CZcams is a lady who is… I wanna say 5’9”? Her (now late -Rest in Power) husband was only 5’5” - and they were SO HAPPY. Every Halloween, they did great couples costumes (Morticia and Gomez Addams was the best, because they fit so well) and not a drop of insecurity or shame. Because their love was REAL.
That’s why the kids these days call them “Short Kings”
I am a Vet Tech and that cat litter one really pissed me off. She shouldn't be even inhale the cat litter.
True.
I wouldn't trust a mask to work either.
He was even warned about what could happen if a pregnant woman gets around cat feces.
A dog is safer.
I've been around dogs while still in the womb and since I was born. No problems.
Cats are a no no around pregnant women.
My cousin miscarried her 1st because she stayed around cats and their litter box.
She got rid of all of it and she carried her 2nd baby to term. He is now 8 years old.
I know when my older sis was pregnant with my niece I would occasionally house sit and watch her pets this job included doing Kitty litter cleaning which while not my favorite job I did anyway because I wanted to make things easier for her and her husband
Blatant disdain for animals and disregard for his family’s well-being is a red flag for me! 🚩
I also agree she shouldn’t be cleaning the litter box. But I actually understand his frustration because she got an animal that she can’t take care of. Having the cat was clearly her decision. His stubbornness is definitely worse than her irresponsibility, but she kinda irritates me too.
@@leilatimeful
So, that means her husband can't help his pregnant wife out?
She can take care of her cat. But, while pregnant, he needs to clean the litter box or get an automated one.
As she gets bigger, she'll need more help. Bending over is impossible when you're farther along in the pregnancy.
She'll need help putting on her sock and shoes.
She'll be exhausted. He can cook and clean at least.
Does he expect her to still do these things while pregnant?
She's carrying his baby, for Pete's sake!
He SHOULD help her out.
It won't kill him to clean the litter box until it is safe for her to do so.
However, it could very well kill her unborn baby if she gets around cat feces and breathes it in while cleaning.
She can't very well hold her breath.
The husband sounds more annoying to me.
He should step up and be a husband.
We have responsibilities. We have to do things we don't like. That's called being an adult.
He needs to get over it.
I hope he is a better father than he is a husband.
As a girl who is 5’10” it took me years to get over the idea that I’m “too tall” so that one dude can eat my shorts. He’s totally causing issues for his daughter that will make it harder for her to love herself
My FIL was in constant open marriages (plural) and they all failed because if you fuq around, you find out. What do you find out? There is always someone better looking, better in bed, makes more money, more accomplished etc etc X infinity no matter what. You can’t screw around and not eventually catch feelings for one of them. This ended in divorce every time, or break ups if not married, several sets of kids were lost because they hated their parents for living like this and all went no contact in the end. The constant disruption and wrecking of the relationships took a toll on them, as well as the constant stream of people in and out of the house made them feel icky and unsafe. One set of daughters completely disappeared and he has zero clue what happened to them. He can’t find them on social media. He met my monogamous MIL and she said hell no on the open relationship thing. And this is his only relationship to actually last. They are getting old and will be dying together now. The good girl was the only one to keep him.
My doctor said DO NOT scoop cat litter AT ALL while pregnant. Period. It's not worth the risk. I understand he doesn't like the cat, but she's going through much more than he can ever imagine. Self-cleaning boxes are a great option.
100% I knew a girl when I was young who didn't sight in one eye from mum being exposed to toxoplasmosis during pregnancy, she got lightly considering all damage it can do, really not worth it.
I think its a red flag anyway he dislikes animals in general ( he said somthing like that). The way people see others with less power is a good way to show who they are.
I dont think hes the type to really take good care of his children. And hes going to abuse his power as an adult.
Yes, it's dangerous and she needs someone to do that for her. But why did she bring a cat home if she knew her man didn't like them 🙃? I like cats, but my SO doesn't and I wouldn't force him to live with one - the same way he won't bring a snake home for the same reasons. I mean it's your home!
@@camilaaraneda874 LOL, that's a super weird assumption, but okay. I have a snake, my husband has a cat. We're each not a huge fan of the other's pet but we do what needs to be done around the house. Also, I've known a couple who broke up over him bringing HUNDREDS of reptiles into the house when she was scared of them, so bold assumption.
@@victorywalkingtours8843Yes, but not being a huge fan and not wanting the animal in the house at all are totally different things. She shouldn't be around cats during her pregnancy anyway. That makes her an a-hole. So she is an a-hole for not caring that she shouldn't be around cats, for forcing her choice to him and for not wanting anyone else to care for the cat either temporarily or permanently. I mean, why is the only option for the one person who doesn't want the cat to care for the cat? That takes being an a-hole to a whole other level.
Lol the open marriage...u basically told her she was enough and u wanted other women. She rolls up her sleeves and says bet 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My husband has been scooping the cat boxes for our cats for the past 4 years because of being pregnant three times. I asked him if he wants me to start doing the boxes now that we’re done having kids, and he said “I don’t see why you need to.”
That's your husband. Some of us dont like pets and dont want to be bothered. I am a woman. Had the lasy discussed about pet before marriage, it'd have been a different thing. She got the cat after realizing he isn't a pet person.. I'd suggest he help out during the pregnancy. After pregnancy, he can hands off and probably not make another baby again.
Its so sad i feel more and more that falling pregnant could be the worst thing that can happen to a woman. It makes you so vulnerable and dependant on others and their judgement. It can being out the worst side of your partner but by then it might be too late. Your life and future are going to be so painfully no matter if theres abortion or single parenthood. Its so sad and horrible.
Recently went through a similar thing as the last one. Boyfriend of almost 6y wanted an open relationship. Finally I agreed, as I realised I did want to experiment more, as I only had had two partners. But it was similar as described in the video, boyfriend was not happy when I was doing things and he wasn't. Finally decided to end the relationship, as he made it clear it was just his intent on screwing around without the guilt, but did not want me to do the same thing.
Guy is heartbroken now, realising what he has lost in the process.
Single now, but quite sure I would not choose an open relationship again.
Had a ex tell me he felt emasculated when I wore heels because we were the same height. I'm 5'9, I didn't care about our height and he knew I loved heels. He got petty after that when I refused to stop wearing them. Then told me he fell in love with a girl online. I just laugh when I think about it now. GL to him.