Three Things You Should Never Say To An INFJ
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- čas přidán 24. 08. 2024
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Do all INFJs research themselves to understand themselves or is it just me?? 😕
I think out of all types we probably have the greatest desire to research ourselves. Most people say it's because we're self-centered (as if there is something wrong with understanding yourself), I believe it's because we do think quite differently, and we seek some understanding of our place. :-)
Me and most other INFJs I know reflect a lot about themselves and do research about our "alien" behaviour. 👽
@@silva-schattensang hahaha yeah😁
That's how my mbti obsession began
I started researching my personality type about a year ago because I just felt out of place no matter where I went or what I was doing, I know I'm vastly different from the majority of people I come around and I couldn't understand why I am the way I am so I started searching for personality traits and stumbled upon this infj deal, and sure enough, the description is dead on.
"If you're in a relationship with an INFJ, congratulations and I'm sorry."
I GAGGED KSKS
Always happy to get a chuckle out of that line! Thank you for watching Daine!
Daine Cando :( lmfaoooo
hahahaha
what if you are an infj in a relationship with another injf?
i started talking with this girl and shes an infj too
I literally laughed out loud and then yelled "Hey!".....I'm not overly sensitive, just highly sensitive. lol
The biggest thing that has helped me as an INFJ is learning how to comfortably say ‘no’ to people. It has been so liberating.
It is indeed!
good for you!
Same!!
Entirely liberating. It's my new favorite word.
Yup. At some point around 30 years old I learned how to just shut people's nonsense...T F...down
"Fine. Stay home. I'll go alone".
How i read it as INFJ:
"FINE! STAY HOME! I'LL GO ALONE! "
feel me? 😂
Do I ever!
My INFJ brain would read it as: "You know what, I'm done with this (FINE)! Be an antisocial loser (Stay home)! I'll go by myself because you don't want to be a friend right now (I'll go alone)."
Getting this would destroy my ability to recharge even if I'm alone. The guilt would kill me.
Lmao yes actually happened to me today
YES!!!!! They say "Fine. Stay home. I'll go alone."
We hear: Fine Ya selfish lil BISH! Stay home, Like the horrible person you are! I'll go alone SINCE YOU HAVE ABANDONED ME!"
what i hear is, i don't like you i am going to go and find someone else because your a loser, and i am giving the G rated version :)
I'm a 52 old INFJ woman and feel like I've finally found my tribe here
I hope that sense of community carries on for all time! Thank you so much! I appreciate you!
47 year old INFJ here - & I was just thinking the exact same thing!!!
I would love to hear more INFJ perspectives.
Blood brothers!
I could have written your comment. My tribe! 💪🏽
I get a lot of "you're reading too much into this" .. like YEAH! THATS MY SPECIALITY! 😩
I will find subtext where there is ZERO SUBTEXT. It's almost a source of pride being able to take things so wildly out of context that I can destroy myself for, like, 4 days.
@@DavidBadurina Dude, why do we do that to ourselves! Haha I overthink till I destroy any hope of anything going good even though everything will end up fine.
@@DavidBadurina me me me. Even watching random movies will turn me into a conspiracy theorist
I feel you
Sounds VERY CHILDISH THINKING FOR A YOUNG ADULT. OR CHILDISH TEENAGERS THINKING.
NOT GOOD. YOU CAN LEARN DIFFERENT SKILLS TO THINKING LIKE AN ADULT In their 20s & early 30s. Time to GROW THROUGH & evolve!💡🔎🔬💡💡💡👌👌👌👌👌
am i the only one who way prefers a quick text than doing long phone calls? somehow phone calls seem intrusive to me in my alone time and personal headspace. Skype/FaceTime, even worse
I prefer it too, but if you ARE going to text ... GET TO THE POINT. Subtext makes me want to hurl myself into traffic! Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you!
So true. I often keep calls to an abrupt minimum... rarely is the conversation urgent enough to forego waiting to tell in person or even better, a quick text.
I am a text queen. I dont mind talking on a land line for a bit. But when I am having alone time I dont wanna talk. I try to call everyone back.
Yes! Be concise! IF you're going to call me, then have something to say. If you just want to chat, we can do that when we see each other the next time. I often have "dying batteries" or "food on the stove" and find ways to get off the phone. Bleh. Leave me alone, LOL.
@@tedlogan4867 Totally
I am so intuned to narcissism and manipulation, I see it a mile away. Nope. Not happening.
This is great! It took me being bitten a few times to be able to spot it, and to let go and understand that I can't "fix" a narcissist.
@@DavidBadurina I get that as I dated a borderline and a histrionic before I was struck with an attack of sanity. That was long ago. Through both my training and therapy, I have been able to give up the need to "fix" other people. I still care for them, but I can let them be where they are.
Brandy Lee Ledford I see it a mile away but I’m still drawn to them because I feel like there is opportunity to help them heal... the downside is having bit and pieces of your soul taken to the grinder.
Parents...
@@brandyleeledford4232 mine too.
Basically as a fellow INFJ I make it a rule to steer clear of narcissists and passive aggressive people :) Learning to respond differently and not have a knee-jerk guilt reaction is a life saver. How people feel and respond is up to them...not my circus not my monkeys.
AH! I say "not my circus not my monkeys" ALL the time in regards to the same thing. And YES, knowing you can't save everyone (as much as it may suck to understand that) is very worthwhile when it comes to protecting yourself from the toxic folks out there. Thank you so much for this comment!
I don't know how many "you're being too sensitive"s I put up with before one day, something clicked, and I decided that anyone (in an intimate relationship scenario) who says that to me is no longer welcome or needed in my life. Best decision I've ever made.
Absolutely! And knowing that is a real key to being a healthy person with healthy relationships! Good on you!
My pet peeve is "You worry too much" by people who think my quiet alone time is me worrying about something
For me it usually is haha, but I hear that!
INFJing: totally a legitimate verb!
I believe so! Add INFJness to the lexicon too!
I'm going to start saying this
Its an attachment word
Lydia Boden but make sure the ink is in small text.....lol
"We're not oversensitive, we're highly sensitive" -- I love that! You are so right about those differences.
I really enjoyed this video! I just found you today and I've subscribed. Looking forward to watching more!
Thank you! Appreciate you hanging out here!
hello -- google 'highly sensitive person' 'HSP' or go to hsperson.com/ … (:
I find that I am highly sensitive to over-sensitive people. The taco bell example. I would get frustrated with that person. But if the dishes pile up, the toilet clogs, i get a flat tire and have to change it in the rain. None of that bothers me .
I love that statement too.
Are you telling me no one noticed the "Congratulations and I'm sorry " line??
A couple picked up on it. Keen ear! ;-)
I did
Of course I did I'm an INFJ 😉
@@DavidBadurina where are all the women at??
@@samanthagabbidon6065 Here's the reality, female INFJs are more prevalent than male INFJs by about a 2-1 ratio. Most INFJ material is geared towards women. There is not much out there for us male INFJs. I am thankful for this as being a male introverted, intuitive, feeler goes against the dominant culture. It's more okay for women to be that way than it is for men.
“Congratulations and I’m sorry.” I’m laughing because this is on point. 😄
;-)
Jessica Zimmer Hahahaha!!!! I’ve had to learn to say I’m sorry. In therapy. And for what?!!! I don’t get it. I’m sorry??!!! For what?
First of all I'm a firmament believer and this buddy wonderful makes sense, however I think the numbers of us are a wee bit bigger than first thought, maybe it was the video games or the porn I'm not sure?? ,
Translation: I'm a INFJ too dammit! ! I'm afraid I fall into that crystal clear Lake too. I've been doing INFJ for a very long funky time as a professional.
There is a few more things to trigger a INFJ but we learn to handle it over time, like dropping the thot is a art to be mastered, should I care!? Does it matter more than what I'm doing right now? Thanks buddy splendidly spectacular ,
@@jencgold it fools the other person into being nicer than they would have been if you didn't say sorry, so it's evilly forcing others to be nice subconsciously as you brainwash them into thinking you are nice, and it gets you ready to visit Canada and it's opposite to rude, and can be used against your enemies because then they have to say sorry also because it catches them off guard, sorry for this, LoL thanks
I wish other people could understand that when they ask an infj at 8 at night if they will go run into a store with them to pick up a few things that it's a bigger deal than they know. As an infj, I'm going to have to stand in line and notice the guy in front of me whose shoes have holes in them and it's 36 degrees out and my heart is hurting for him, and I have to feel the waves of impatience and anger from the cashier because the person in front of him is paying her with nickels and dimes and she is giving off the most hateful energy over something so small. I'm going to see the 89 year old lady in the laxative aisle trying to reach up to the top shelf and see her hands shaking so hard that after I retrieve the medication she wants, I walk away with the weight of knowing that she doesn't have anyone in her life to go out at 8 at night to get something she needs and it hurts me. Finally, I pass the dude who's getting beer and he's oblivious to the fact that when the door is open nobody can pass him and now there are six of us with our arms full of purchases standing in a line like ducks waiting for him to notice or even care that there are other people in the world besides him. By the time I would get home from a 45-minute trip to the drug store, my heart would be aching and I would feel sad and irritable and also keep thinking that there's something I have to do but not being able to put my finger on it. By the time I realise that I'm thinking about the guy who has holes in his shoes and how I have a pair of men's shoes sitting right beside my front door that I wish I could give to him, I'm curled up in a ball in my bed wishing I had said no, I can't go out right now. So many times I have wished that I could be unaware of suffering or cruelty or people that are in a vulnerable position. It's not fun to be and infj. Especially when your husband dies and leaves you alone in the world and all the people that you have helped through the years just ignore you. I am left without all the money I gave from my heart and all of the time I had spent comforting everyone when they were in a bad situation. And I sit here all alone and wonder how did I get here? And did that guy ever get a new pair of shoes? Sincerely, over-sensitive Carly
Wow Carly. That is definitely intense. Thank you for watching, and I appreciate the heartfelt comment. Best to you. I appreciate you!
My heart is going a little crazy after reading this. I relate to all of that. I work at a theme park, so when I get home I'm not only extremely exhausted, but sometimes very depressed. I get why now.
@@Guppypoo I'm glad that you might understand why you feel so depressed and exhausted after working. Most people just let all those little things go by without even noticing. But, the great thing about you is that you have a chance to smile at the person that everyone is ignoring or run over and pick up someone's sweater that fell on the ground and give it back or maybe using your sensitivity, you might notice someone who is nervous because they don't like being in crowds and you can notice them and say something like, I love that sweater you're wearing. It looks so good on you. Those are the things that fill me up because if you make a difference to someone who's suffering or someone just needs to see the humanity that still exists in people's souls that are extremely sensitive, then it takes the edge off of the pain. I'm struggling so much right now because I don't drive and I need that side kick to take me to the places where people need love and kindness and generosity. I have so much of that to give. But when I'm alone, the loneliness is eating me away. I don't feel uplifted when I make a bubble bath for myself or order a special meal that I love and eat it alone. I want to go back and look in people's eyes and when I know that they know God, then that opens up a wonderful experience. I was in a Costco once and I was very upset because someone was treating me bad and I noticed a woman sitting on a bench and I felt that feeling I get when I know someone knows God so I sat next to her and I said out loud... Do you know God? and she said, as a matter of fact I do. So, I asked her if she would pray for me. I already felt a connection and she said sure wait a minute, I'll get my husband. This very tall man walked up and she said this is my husband, Bob, he is a minister. And, she explained to her husband that I was asking for prayer. The next thing you know, I have this giant man's hand wrapped around mine until it disappeared and his petite wife is holding my other hand and they are talking to God and asking Him to help me and bring me peace. My eyes were closed so I had no idea that my sister who had brought me there and about a half a dozen other people were just standing there watching us. As I remember, both of my hands were in each of theirs and as I walked away from them I could feel the palms of my hands vibrating with energy. It was so strong that I placed my palms together and just felt such a wonderful feeling peace in that energy. My hands felt pulled together as if by magnets and I didn't want to separate them. After a while in in the car, I finally pulled them apart and I kissed the palm of each hand. That's what I don't have because my husband died. Everywhere we went we made people smile. we would notice something special about them that no one else had ever noticed and we would tell them about it. Together our energies of love for people and kindness was an adventure and joy. Anyway, thank you for listening. You'd be surprised how many people just don't give a darn. Love, Carly 💜
@@simplyme7821 I'm sorry you don't have the opportunity to help others. When I started researching what an INFJ was, I didn't think that I was one to help others. Or I didn't think I'd care to change the world or make an impact. Talk about not being self aware. That's all I do is help people. Like you said, I'm in a position to help those around me and I do. Rather compulsively. I saw a grandmother say something of a rejectful nature to a girl. The girl didn't say anything or cry but I felt it. I was close to tears. I couldn't do anything about it. I did glare at the woman. Later I told the girl her face paint looked super cute and she smiled.
Something cool is I know God too. I'm so happy you found that couple at Costco. You and God having a Powow will help recharge you too. It's literally what saved my life.
@@Guppypoo I don't think many INFJs think about how they might be able to make a huge change in the world although, I think we could. But I believe that whenever you recognize that we are all children of God and you see someone suffering and you do something to lighten their load then you have done a great thing. My Mark had told me 23 years ago that his life's mission was to stop the cycle of addiction and therefore help the children of addicts to have a more stable and happy life. I had a printed piece of paper taped to my wall for many years. It said, I long to accomplish a great and Noble task but, it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and Noble. Helen Keller. I realized when I was in my early 30s that I wanted to make other people feel happy and safe even if I didn't feel that way. And this quote touched my heart and became the way I lived. You never know what small kindness that you give to someone might just effect not only them but the people that they come in contact with. Thank you for writing to me. Love, Carly
The manager: "Before you leave today, swing by my office. We need to talk."
My brain: "Get ready for complete thought hell for the next three hours."
You are NOT joking!
I’m a INFJ & I feel like an alien sometimes.
I mean, at least aliens are cool, right? :-)
We are Aliens... But we aren't alone. We are also good looking and popular. In a sense 😏
Does being a INFJ mean we r doomed to be single for the rest of our lives? That’s what I heard. Maybe it is true because I’ve been single for YEARS. I was thinking about that today. Because of my personality I ALWAYS mess it up a little after I meet someone. It goes good in the beginning but then my INFJ kicks in & I mess it up. I almost feel like I will be single for the rest of my life:( Do you have a video on relationships?
@@anamarijamilos1290 no... We won't always be single. And no.. we don't mess it up, we survive.
Our gift and curse is that we have experience and are tuned into higher perception. We ghost because the other person has displayed characteristics that we know to be toxic.
You are single because the guys you meet haven't been the type to be honest with themselves or you. You most likely don't want to deal with the drama of not trusting someone because the guys you meet have shown signs of not being trust worthy.
Inconsistencies, right?
They think they are getting over or just going along and you see it all... All the red flags. You will commit to a relationship when you find someone REAL.
Just my perspective... My apologies, I know you weren't directing your comment at me.
Stephen Nesmith I couldn’t agree more. Definitely our gift and a curse. I ALWAYS think I’m cursed when it comes to men:(
Holy moly I have found my clan....I never knew there were others just so similar. Wow.
So glad! You are among friends Marlaine!
I got elated as hell when the video started. My energy resonates with David’s ❤️
"Congratulations and I'm sorry".... LMAO. You made my day!
BTW, when I learned about INFJ, the big surprise was not that I'm an empath but rather that other people are not. I had no idea that they experience the world differently. Suddenly other people's behavior made a lot more sense. Knowing that, I was able to interact with others much better.
That's awesome, Jeff! Thank you for the comment! Glad I could get a laugh for you! :-)
Until today, I still want and yearn to learn why people do the things they do and I have no clue
@@jayjay-dl8gy that same question burns brightly in mind. Oh boy they're is so much out there on this. Obviously Carl Jung has helped me greatly understand myself and others. Dr. Jordan Peterson has been very very helpful. Studying spirituality with great teachers has been most helpful. Check out the Phoenix Journals. Amazeballs.
Hint hint I am not infj. I am an ENTP. My girl is an infj. I think I'm not cut out for her. On top of being a country boy I'm a veteran and a man's man and I'm not sensitive enough and things that seem little and trivial to me can and have been huge deals to her.
To me they are like roadside bombs. I cannot see them and I don't know when one will go off but when it does there will be an outburst of some kind. Doesn't seem fair. Enough to give a guy post relationship stress disorder.
No matter. She got angry at me just today, words were exchanged and she packed up her shit and left. Possibly for good. Only 8 hours ago. That's why I'm here. I searched for how to talk to an infj and this video came up first. Good video too.
I honestly don't know if I'm up for or even capable of being in a relationship with an infj and at the same time be true to myself. Time will tell. First we have to see if she'll be back.
Entp's are also highly introverted at times and my god do I love my space and my alone time. Her coming here has been one change after another and it's never enough for her. She will change every last thing about this house and if I say anything about it I'm Hitler. I would have to bite my tongue a whole lot. ENTP's are called loud nerds for a reason. I smell trouble ahead. Rough seas. Wish me luck.
Exactly! How can people NOT feel every living things pain?
If someone told me 'Fine. Stay home then,' I'd probably think 'Yay, I'm off the hook!'. I also hate being told 'Dont cry' and 'Calm down'. And when I'm told I'm being too sensitive, I feel like yelling back 'I'd rather be oversensitive than INsensitive like you're being right now!'.
Oh, I love being let off the hook too, but at the same time (maybe this is more a "me" thing than an "INFJ" thing) I feel a cascade of guilt for NOT going, particularly when the person inviting me isn't terribly understanding. That gets rough! Thank you for watching and commenting!
@@DavidBadurina I have felt the guilt too, but less and less over time as I've realised it's okay to do what's best for me, even if other people dont like it.
I would see that as manipulation and codependency is their issue... I no longer feel terrible, I would feel disrespected
Oh God , My Goddess Supreme got me to cry tears of joy last May. First time since 91 when my black stallion died.
ENTP (sociopath); can’t relate lol 😂
But on a serious note, you should do what’s best for you, and surround yourself with people who put you first. If you’re going to put someone else’s needs above yours, you should make sure that they’d do the same for you.
I’ve been labeled with all these mental health issues but this makes me feel so much better! I’m not a freak!
Hi Kathryn! We are all unique and we all have some kind of issues! You're not alone here! Thanks for watching!
You are not a freak darling.. welcome to the family
" okay I'll go to your social function but I need everybody to leave me alone for the next 3 weeks or whatever" LMAO
3 weeks ... AT LEAST, Melanie! :-)
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maybe 3 months ought to do it!
LOL we need to fulfil our social obligations.
This is soooooo me!! Lol😂
How about “just calm down” that sends me into orbit
Oh "Calm Down" is a surefire way to make certain that I will do the opposite haha.
This is really helping me. I have an almost 30 year old single daughter who thinks she may be an INFJ and I am working really hard to understand her and try and repair the major mistakes I made with her as she was growing up.
I'm grateful it's resonating! Thank you!
Shes always going to have issues that she will have to learn to overcome herself, that has nothing to do with anything other than being naturally overly self critical and self destructive. We are a turbulent leaning type.. don't blame yourself!
Nobody who’s really fine going alone would ever say it that way
Quite true!
Exactly can we say guilt trip from hell because they don't want to be alone wherever it is that they are going! Alot of times they don't even take the time to consider that mabey we aren't interested in the same things as they are and wouldn't enjoy it like they do! Sometimes I will go with them anyway because I feel bad about it but then when it comes to something I like that they don't and I ask them to go with me they make up a lame excuse which I see right through and I'm just supposed to except it! Uuuuuuh!
tbh I could see myself saying it that way.
the "we need to talk text" is the WORST!!!! It ruins my day entirely.
Right!? Fast track to destroy my brain, always.
What I think about is the possibilities that the text could mean and the feelings behind each possibilitie gets me thinking while trying to process the possibilities through imagination,logic,circumstance,experience and most of all feeling then trying to come up with the most logical explanation. But there is no emotion behind said text to read so you compare try to compare there experiences with you to try to understand what you could have done wrong. (Im trying my hardest to explain this.) You can't understand it because if you don't have the answer "what we need to talk about" so that leaves extreme overthinking.
This is exactly right! On a more basic level, it's the "Oh crap what did I do now?" response. Made worse if you have a partner who says, "You don't know what you did wrong?" Haha.
@@DavidBadurina My previous boss had a policy of "no news is good news" which made me paranoid. My current boss (who is so much better) can freak me out be asking me to come to his office so we can talk. I have learned to do a lot of self talk to help me recognize it is likely not bad.
@@velojayf I hate bosses that either text "can we talk?" or ask me to come to their office. I find it to be a mind F. Especially when they ask me to come to their office. Then it also becomes a power trip. I would much rather them drop by my workspace or just talk with me during regularly scheduled meetings.
- How's your day?
- whats your favorite food?
- what type of guy/girl do you like?
- why don't you talk more?
- you're overthinking.
Overthinking is my default state!
I could easily say that people telling me im overthinking is my number one complaint that I get. It doesn't matter if it's in a relationship, at work, or with friends.
INFJ brain: */sbin/brain:* Segmentation fault
I dont talk much especially on the phone. I say what needs to be said an d get off.
looking pathetic is my default state
We're leaders, not followers. We lead a single parade.
All depends on the person! I'm more of an independent myself, but I enjoy mentoring!
Nice.
God Spark SO VERY TRUE. And we like it like that.
UNLESS, we don't have the energy left. Then we will look for someone else to lead... the RIGHT way... and if they DON'T... we are over it... OVER.IT. and guess what? No, stop, just stop. I'm just going back to leading myself.
so true.... I travel alone a lot, people don't understand how.... um bc that's what I like, I'll find company when I need it
I find the ones who accuse me of being oversensitive are those acting most like bulldozers
I wouldn't argue with that!
Jay T or narcissist
"Congratulations and I'm sorry" lol that's what I feel about my INFP partner. Poor guy.
It does capture a lot of the mood, right? Thanks for watching! Give INFP a pat on the back for me. :-)
@@DavidBadurina INFJ is a mood - I quote you on that :)
"You're thinking about this WAY too much."
"My god, where do you get all this stuff? Who is telling you that?"
"Have you gone into hiding? Are you dead?"
"It's like you have 500 antennae coming out of your head."
And this is me: Sometimes I wish I didn't give a rat's ass what others think. Or that I didn't know what others don't see. Just for 5 seconds. What freedom! Jesus. My brain!
You are NOT kidding! Haha! Thank you for this!
Ibid
My brother in law “You should come party with us every weekend! It’s great “
Me - total mental breakdown.
Penney Burgess I have a get together next weekend and I’m already freaking out about it! I feel the same way!
Even your text shows that you are truly INFJ. There is a lot of thought from your text.
Dude - I never leave comments on videos but you had me in tears of laughter when you mentioned the text, "we need to talk... tomorrow." I'm an INFJ and this literally had me in stitches - totally relatable! So glad I found your channel!!
Hi Amy!! Haha I'm so glad I was able to coax a comment out of you! I feel honored! THAT TEXT IS THE WORST! Just saying. Thanks so much for watching and commenting! I appreciate you!
@@DavidBadurina I usually ask there's no tomorrow like today.
@@samanthagabbidon6065 Great way to turn it around!!
Yes. It is extremely sad when people like to comment nastily and label me as emotional, oversensitive, vulnerable. We are just not appreciated of being genuine.
Absolutely right!
“Congratulations and I’m sorry” SO true. XD
Fun fact, I didn't recall saying that until after I recorded and started editing it.
So freaking on target. Until my son forwarded the darn test, I had no idea that I was so rare. I just thought I was crazy.I just about lost my mind agreeing with you through this entire video. Thank you 😊
Thanks Bryan! I appreciate you!
I lose my temper every time some one tells me to calm down lol
It's not a great way to get someone to calm down, especially if you shout it!
L James I get mad, then I cry angry tears...
"Omg I have something to tell you" - my friend, making my heart pump 10 times faster and my heart get a rush of blood.
Exactly! Haha.
If you want to mitigate that, you should teach yourself to take it as not being that important if he doesn't want to tell you right away what's going on. That really helps protect your sanity.
@@Robidu1973 thank you!
At first I thought you had an Asian friend called "Yu Suk." LOL.
Haha, I do not, but if I did, I'd feel really bad for them!
I saw a real one: Chew Kok. I prefer Yu Suk. lol
Or hearing the words "you think too much." What?? Who's mind doesn't function all of the time?
"you think too much" and "you are overthinking" are definitely two different things.
"we need to talk" - Brain spirals for hours, anxiety sky rockets.
5 hours later: "I got a job offer closer to home for more money!"
Some people must use that phrase intentionally to manipulate. Who leaves a cliff hanger like that for something simple they could just say right away.
People do it, though! I have a few friends with a flair for the dramatic, and even though I know their intention isn't to manipulate, it still drives me mad!
I used, "Could we talk later?" with an infj friend, stopped using It after she said she hates It but well, sometimes We do need to talk and, while people need space and time, we cant just run away from problems. If we get into a fight or something, I cant just pretend that nothing happened and I want us to talk it out peacefully and get to a conclusion and get closure. Otherwise I cant function and overthink our relationship. Therefore I do use this sentence and Its still way better then just coming up spontaneously to someone and forcing drama on him/her when he/she didnt expect It.
Very good video. Thank you.
Beware the children! They’re some of the worst of the vague text offenders and it’s super annoying. So, I annoy them back, lol. The only one of my 4 kids who doesn’t do the super vague text thing, is my INTJ grown son. His texts are short but very clear and to the point and NOT wishy washy at all. He would say that people do that crap on purpose, just to be dicks.
Thank you! My oldest is an INTJ as well and I'd totally agree - he's very direct in short texts and there's no ambiguity. It's refreshing!
infj_writer that’s ‘cause INTJs are awesome.
I am not going to disagree with that at all.
When people do this on purpose i see they are trying to teach me not to be me. They can't get it, so its sweet and annoying they are so on the otherside of reality.
“Fine’’ is snarky when used at the beginning of a response and tells me that person is not happy or is controlling. My feelings and response very depending on the person and how much I do or don’t give a crap about them and their feelings
Absolutely. I'm okay with, "Yes, that's fine." but just "Fine." has such a totally different tone!
Feelings
Inside
Not
Expressed
There's more being said with that line than they intended to convey. lol
My mam has a propensity to tell me I'm overreacting or getting histerical, just because I displayed more of an emotional reaction than what SHE thought was appropreate.
I have a few people like that around me too! They know me well enough by now to know how to not get me going, and I know them well enough by now to know that this is how they are. :-)
@@DavidBadurina You're fortunate. She's known me for decades and nothing's changed. Then again I guess a person has to WANT to change for something to actually change. Oh well.
@@angelus_solus Unfortunately you cannot help a person who doesn't want to receive help. Tends to drive me nuts on a regular basis. It's like talking to a brick wall with the exception that a brick wall usually pays more attention... :/
I love the names of the people who sent the texts. "Jack Ash" made me laugh
My other go-to is "Bob Frapples!"
"Yu Suk"
Lol when I saw the “We need to talk tomorrow”“ text my first response was”Oh HELL no”
HA! Kim! Right? It breaks my brain ... every. time.
@@DavidBadurina 😆 The Curse of the INFJ'S
The 'over sensitive much' comment is my cue to take a deep breath and go straight into fight mode....you do not want to go there. It's not pretty.
Sarah haha! GO GET EM! ;-)
Texts like " what u upto for today" or "what did u do today".....
Infj:🙄
“Congratulations and I’m sorry” 😂😂😂👍🏻 love the hat and the content. 😎 The part about being sensitive vs a drama queen is definitely true. It’s so important to make that distinction because being sensitive implies in so many people’s minds that you’re overly touchy/dramatic or weak somehow. It rubs me very much the wrong way when I’m being told I’m sensitive or (just as bad) when I’m being called an idealist because I believe in a better world. 🤷🏼♀️
EXACTLY! Touchy is one thing, sensitive is something different entirely! Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
Don't INFJ people usually have a keen sense of humor like you?
You are hilarious!
I don't think sense of humor is part of type as much as it is part of experience, though certainly being in tune with others does help with material! Thank you for the compliment and watching! I appreciate it!
"We need to talk". Nope. I wont call, I make myself completely unavailable to avoid the talk so they have no choice but to text. Haha!
EXACTLY! More like, "TELL ME WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW WHAT HAVE I DONE?"
I would add “call me” to the list. It takes me too long to get mentally ready to call and order take out, to call a friend for a positive reason. It will take me way longer to work up to calling someone in response to that kind of text definitely more than 24 hrs, maybe months, years probably never.
Hahaha
Your comment about narcissists use of the word oversensitive is spot on.
"I need to talk to you" sends me over the edge, cus the first thing I think is what did I do wrong. And based on past experience, it's never anything good. If you wanna talk to me, just do it. I'm approachable.
Exactly right, Tracy!
"Congratulations and I'm sorry!" LOL... this was great, and affirming... I'm "INFJing" today and this lightened me up a bit... thanks
Thanks for watching!
I’m an INFP and you could have been talking about me. I’m in a relationship with an INFJ, and he will tell me that we need to talk, when it’s not possible to talk at that moment. He has started to explain that it’s not something bad because I’ve let him know that it drives me crazy. At least he listens... and we’re both sensitive people.
That sounds like Fe working for him when you bring it up and he changes the behavior or at least clarifies and says, "It's just on my mind, it's not bad." Communication is key! Kudos to you both!
I’ve always hated texting people, I always prefer talking face-to-face
I always hated whenever people say that they want to talk.... “Let’s talk” No one is stopping you from talking!
The. Worst!
haha this almost always triggers the word 'con-versation' to pop up in my mind which leads me to thinking that they will 'con' me into something (especially if i've been given 15 seconds to read the persons intent) to which i instinctively reply:
(walks out the room)
You nailed it! Love having an articulate communicator explain the experience of INFJing keep up the great videos!
I appreciate that! INFJing ftw!
Amazingly accurate. Great video. I didn't even know that I was INFJ, or even what that was, until last week.
Glad it resonated and thank you for watching!
I honestly feel that Taco Bell running out of tacos constitutes a national emergency.
It just might be the event that finally starts another civil war.
This video sums up a situation I am going through right now with one of my friends! I desperately need some more time at home this Christmas. All I want is a quiet Christmas!
I hear that James! I want the same, but it's just not gonna happen!
I lose it when a certain person texts, “Must be nice.” I’m thinking...what? What does that even mean?! I said, “I’m going out for lunch today and getting Panda Express.” Like my Panda Express is so spectacular or better than whatever you’re having? Omg I’m nuts. 😂
AH! "Must be nice" is a terrible one. Like, "Oh your life is so grand and mine is crap don't you feel better." That's pretty manipulative.
LOL Panda Express. LIVING THE DREAM! ;-)
Out of all the people who talk on INFJs your videos hit home with me.. I've lost friends because I won't answer messages for weeks.. I have very few friends that understand I want to be alone.. no I'm not depressed.. no nothing is wrong other than your need to continue to be in my bubble while I need time to myself.. also people wanting to help you on your projects for me when I work on something thats my way of getting alone time without having to shut myself off but when people try to help it hits me hard worse then going out in public
Good grief. My whole life now makes sense. I'm still recovering from being told at 12 years old by my aunt that I was too sensitive.
The first point you mentioned resonates with me hard, fam. It ruined me for a week the moment my older sibling hinted their disdain for my decision to not join the rest of the family for Christmas vacation, for which I have my reasons. What they don't know is how often I still play with the thought of tossing all those reasons out of the window just to give in.
That is a major struggle for sure. I get it - whether it's family gatherings or events that you can't bring yourself to get to or even something as simple as a group of friends asking to hang out! Thanks for watching and best of luck to you!
Recently got this INFJ outcome on Myers Briggs. And it fits with being an empath. You are right I can't stand subtext and intrusive behavior from others.
Intrusive is an apt term for sure! Thank you for watching!
I love your use of real example of text and not just generalize topics like a lot do. You truly rock man
Thank you!
omg, it doesn't even need the tomorrow part, "we need to talk" just kills me in every single way possible
Exactly. There goes my brain! Thanks for playing!
INFJ that dated an ESTJ and he said all of this to me. When I was sensitive towards anything that was stressing him out it was great but when I wanted sensitivity back it was non-existent. Never again.
Good on you for knowing where the boundaries are! Even if it hurt a little trying to find where you need to place them! Thank you so much for watching, I appreciate you!
Daniel Banas he tells me all the time that helped him a lot and that I’m a big part of his life. If I could go back I would have only set stronger boundaries.
One time my friend said "who are you?" after I commented to her. Another time she asked why stuff was more difficult for me.Come on! Please be nicer and more positive to me.
I hear that, Susan!
“I was INFJing particularly hard the other day” 😂
0:51 "congratulations and I'm sorry" is the exact reaction to have when you friend is dating an INFJ it just is
Right!? Haha. Glad you liked that!
"Don't get upset" makes me upset 😡
It's automatically assumed that I will become emotional when I'm told something.
🌌🔭
Yup! "Don't be mad" is another one. Why set it up like that?
I’m an infj he is not lying this is so accurate
Appreciate that! Thank you!
What's worst than a text is when an INFJ leaves a deep message and Everyone in the group chat just seen zones you.....
*My mind has gone crazy. Like what did I do? Are they mad at me? Are they pissed off? Did something else happen while I was gone and wasn't aware of and for some reason everybody is blaming me and giving me the silent treatment?!*
*Yes, our minds can be quite bizarre*
So many very familiar phrases. ‘You’re being too sensitive’, “You’re reading too much into it” “You couldn’t possibly know what is going to happen that far ahead “ and then later “How did you know?”or “How could you have figured that out?” If that wasn’t enough gaslighting, there was always “You just couldn’t understand” ( meaning I was too emotional to be rational) along with the response of “ You actually read Marcus Aurelius?” after I quoted a line to back an argument. They never understood why I occasionally became uncomfortable because I felt someone was angry, dangerous, insincere, and would dismiss me because I said I felt it. Later I was proven right. That happened just recently. It is so wonderful to know I am not alone in this. Thanks!
Thank you for commenting! BONUS POINTS for a Marcus Aurelius reference! Stoicism ftw!
Congratulations and I'm sorry lol
It's a feeling!
Oh man, the we need to talk one is the absolute worst for me. talk about hitting the nail on the head. Just like you said the saying we need to talk and then giving me no detail is absolutely going to send me into a tailspin. It is always nice to know that I'm not the only one though.
Hey Ricky! Thank you! It is my worst as well. I think it affects a lot of people, for sure, but some are just able to handle it a bit better than a professional over-thinker! :-)
Don't worry David. One day you will simply be done! I'm an old infj and I'm done. I simply live my life on my terms.
If someone says you're being 'oversensitive', the best response is to reply that they are being 'undersensitive'. Who is to say what the 'appropriate' level of sensitivity is?
You know, I never thought about "under sensitive" - thank you for that!
Someone saying "Fine. Stay home. I'll go by myself." Doesn't make me feel bad it pisses me off lol. Like cool you wanna try and make me feel bad for wanting to stay in I'll hit you with that "K" text and be on my way 👌😆
That "K" text says a lot for one little letter, doesn't it?
@@DavidBadurina it truly does! I dont have time for mind games 🤷🏽♀️🤣
I really enjoyed your video.I couldn't stop laughing,I know exactly what your talking about.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you watching!
I don't actually think we're oversensitive in a childish sense - we are highly compassionate, and are BRAVE enough to be the one to be vulnerable so as to help open up lines of communication between us and others - - to give them a chance to work with us or communicate, or vent. Usually its the narcissist that says we're oversensitive or 'grow a thicker skin' whenever they want to deflect from something THEY have done wrong or can't be bothered to treat us like human beings. Once a narc does this, they now get the proverbial 'door slam' forever, its too big a red flag of their own disorder.
Absolutely, thank you for this comment!
inkythinker I totally agree.....
Another INFJ here and can completely confirm all this is so true. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Thank you so much! Appreciate you!
Is it just me or is it so much easier to understand when David or infjs talk, is it an infj thing?
Hey Jess! I'm just happy you dig the video!
1. "You don't know what you are talking about."
Oh that's a good one!
OMG! That sounds so much like projection, just as if the speaker is attempting to play the smart-ass card.
Such a phrase makes me want to quote Dieter Nuhr (many greetings from DE, btw): "Wenn man keine Ahnung hat, am besten einfach die Klappe halten!" (translation: "If you don't have any idea, best you'd shut up!")
@@Robidu1973
But, I do have some idea.
Btw, why did you jump on the train and decide to be a sponge?
@@theresag1969 Could it be that you are taking things personally that absolutely aren't meant that way? Besides, I have noticed the quotation marks that you have set in your OP...
I swear all infj's have gorgeous eyes full of emotion and intensity
Also being hypersensitive doesn't always mean we're completely agreeable too, it just means that whatever you said or however you feel we will most definitely have a reaction in our own heads.
Very true! I am often not agreeable at all! Especially when someone's like, "What? You don't like Candy Corn? What's wrong with you?" Not. Agreeable.
@@DavidBadurina LMAO 🤣 ! exactly. Great video btw please make more. 👍
@@RevRideReason Thank you! I'm on it!
I get called oversensitive often
Oversensitive has that bad connotation to it, you just feel things in an intense way and that's not a bad thing!
Amanda O that’s narcissistic people, that’s there favourite quote.
Amanda O me too, but I embrace it as my gift to the world.
I’m an INFJ and only the last one would bother me
That's good!
"Yes I'll come to your family function, but I'll need to be alone for like.. 3 weeks."
Killed me 😂
As an INFJ i totally agree with you and your definition of our sensitivity is spot on I have noticed that most INFJ are natural empaths I get feelings and urges from other people all the time and crowds are the worst I get overwhelmed
Hey Kyle! Crowds are tough. I'm okay with a great many people around me for a little while, but if I have to INTERACT with a great many, it drains me very fast. Thank you for commenting!
Facial expressions too can really piss me off. So I cut my hair short- now people seem to cringe as they ask me w/ disdain " why did you chop all your hair off?" Wtf? Like I went all crazy Brittany Spears or something. I cut my hair cuz I fn wanted too!! 🤯
HAHA! Jeana! The Spears thing is hilarious! Whatever, right? You do you! I shaved my head last year, loved it! Growing it back out now, love that too! Whatever makes you feel comfy in your own skin, right?
Aaaaaarrrrgh!!! #3!!!!! Shake fist!! Shake fist!!!!
If we are “oversensitive” whoever sends a “we need to talk” text is overdramatic for sure.
SHAKE FIST!!! I can't tell you how many times I get that text, then reply, then radio silence and I just want to hurl my phone into the ocean.
Right! Little do they know that by the time we actually do speak I’ve convinced myself many times over that I really don’t need them in my life 😂
“You’re too much” been told that my whole life.
I just realized why my relationship with my mom is so hard, it's because she says/texts all those things and doesn't understand that it upsets me. Will have to change the way I explain it to her...
Thank you for that eye opening video!
Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching! :-)
"I'll go to your social function, but I need everyone to leave me alone for the next 3 weeks"
Oh God that's me. That's so me I literally laughed out loud. Thanks for the video bro!
So glad it resonated! Appreciate you watching!
Well I told my husband his P-ness was annoying me. 😂😂😂 Wait that came out wrong so yeah INFJness is a word.
OMG HEIDI I didn't even think about how that would sound for, say, an ENTP, their ENTP-ness, and their ENTP-ing. Haha! Thank you for this laugh today!
Well, as INFJs, we need a balance between trying to understand the other person and not being too quick to take offense.