5 UNHEALTHY INFJ ADDICTIONS (and how to avoid them)
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- čas přidán 28. 02. 2023
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Rare as a snowflake, INFJs often have unique addictions that are specific to our type. Today we'll be exploring five unhealthy habits and the best ways for us 1-percenters to steer clear of them - an exploration into avoiding those "unhealthy" behaviors which might not even apply! So grab your data journals, let's dive deep and discover how we can beat these bad tendencies.
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What are some or your unhealthy addictions that might be INFJ-related?
I used to drink way more than was healthy which led to other risky behaviors. I dumped them ways long ago. It's quite peculiar how those things unfolded.
People pleasing
Well #1 and 4# are extremely hard. ALso video games and Wenzes videos are all my addictions.
The constant wall I put up against people that I don't know in order to not be taken advantage of.
I'd add dissapointment on the current state of the world, but i guess you could put is in same shelf as "saddness" ..
1) Addicted to helping others
2) Addicted to the idea that someone will rescue me
3) Addicted to sadness
4) Addicted to doing the bare minumum
5) Addicted to being disassociated from reality
It's time to put on the adult pants and face the stone-cold truths.✌️
6) Addicted to being bare to the minimum.
@@R.S-1986seriously lol I'm okay being basic
@@Thats_Sew_Shy Tangerin & lemon, like the fruit? Yes.
I don't agree with number 5.
I have a very bad addiction called maladaptive daydreaming (MD)
Thank you for mentioning this, apparently I have it too according to the Cleveland Clinic. Now, I can correct it. I owe you one, who and where ever you are. 😊 I hope you and everyone who liked your comment can get past it too.
Do you catch yourself doing it, or do you just go there? I used to get in trouble at school for that, lol. I'm not laughing at you. I used to skip school and go to other classes, gym or art, lol.
Addicted to helping others
Addicted to alcohol to stop my brain from over thinking
Addicted to life time movies cry time
If you help people too much they tend to devalue you.
the point about doing the bare minimum is where I am at right now, and been feeling barely alive for too long. But I am starting a new job soon that will get me out of that box I've squeezed myself into, Thank you for your videos and your straight forward presentation of the positive and negatives of being INFJ. They make me feel seen.
I went the other way in terms of emotional addiction, and was drawn to only positive things as it drowned out the negative stuff. This became a problem because I was avoiding all the negative stuff and not feeling it at all.
After counselling, I now make sure to find a balance between the positive and negative emotions.
Addiction of information. Going down rabbit wholes and not wanting to come out of them.
so true, i've always obsessed over people living abroad, and sometimes i just rewatch the saddest movie i've ever watched and just have a good cry and go to sleep
Overthinking over and over and over about things way too past. It becomes intrusive, self-destructive. I try self-counselling thats all.
I can say I've been addicted to anything that feels good, food sex drugs. Child of a alcoholic father.
Infj cptsd complicated by disassociation.
I pray most all day , so guess I'm addicted to Yashua too.
At this time zero addictions, have not a a cig since April.
This really hit home. I think sometimes we think our personalities are who we are, but it's not true. More and more I feel the work is letting go of our patterns of behaving, thinking, feeling, and relating (aka, our parsonalities), which is gritty work that requires us to look at our shadow and heal wounds that helps us move forward. Love how you talk about this in a supportive way. Acceptance and awareness truly is the path to freedom. The song Melancholaholic by Horrorshow and Atmosphere is a good listen/insightful for folks who feel they are addicted to feeling sad
Very true indeed 100% I am so feed up of my emotionalism. Always feeling sad
the 3rd one is that why i get chills all the time when i listen to that type of music
Thanks for this. Ive suffered many types of addictions, but putting it in this INFJ perspective has been more helpful than the blanket "i need to go to a 12 steps group" perspective.
I spend too much time on my computer listening to the news and help videos. I rather spend time with the help videos and doing work that brings in an income.
Ok. When you feel seen and called out for the wrong and right reasons at the same time. Eating these Hard truth is what my life needs for change. Thanks Wenzes
Always feeling so stuck and struggling to find a way out x
Same sweetie. But hang in there! We'll get there 💖
If two people really love each other a cheap plane ticket won't be a barrier, yet if its one sided intimacy you will have every excuse valid; it's too far, it's too warm etc.. 😄👍💫
You bet...when people love each other they make it happen.
Love is not the catharsis for the human condition
@Gabrielle Albert Yet, we all need love like flowers need sunlight. Poetic but true.
Addictions to base sensory desires, when they have been fulfilled, I feel a deep sense of shame for how I’ve debased my personal values.
Yes. Being introverts, our world is inner, not outer, so that means thoughts and emotions. And that can get us stuck, inside, literally and figuratively. I’ve done all five. The answer as Wenzes says, is action and change. That has helped me every time.
I think we are putting too much pressure into living, we didn’t create this personalities, we just sort of find ourselves this way. This whole idea of try this and do this instead is not helping us. I believe there is no right or wrong way of doing things,there are just different ways of approach to things meaning people should just be allowed to navigate through life the way they know how to and not put pressure on people being a certain way to have an ideal life. The core of it all is that people know what they want and will always go for what they want. So if people are not going after certain things in life, it means that is not what they want, but of course the society will always dictate to you how it should be not caring if that’s what you want and thereby making people feel unfulfilled and unhappy!
Oh yeah, talking with a therapist friend of mine he was able to come to the conclusion that I am addicted to being needed. Watching your video Wenzes that popped into my mind when you talked about an INFJ helping people, you just worded it differently, but that’s it exactly!
Yeah. I’m in the same boat. My children’s mother is in France. I met her while in the army. My first ex wife was Irish but lived here in America but she was living at the bar most of the time. My second ex wife was from Brazil. And now my third current wife is in Philippines. I don’t know what to do. I love my wife but I think she is just using me most of the time. I need to find the strength to leave her the next time she calls me names and threatens divorce. I really need to work on myself. It’s been a very long time since I have done anything that I really enjoy doing for myself
Im addicted to watching luving animal video's. I never knew how much they luved each other and how smart they are its amazingly comforting. 😊 Beautiful
I'm at this point of my life now just surviving, I don't even feel I am a life anymore
Wenzes is so right....we're mostly being stuck into our daily, day life routine...and stuck. We do hope for the better...but at the end of the day, it's all the same, and you're unhappy with your life...
I'm convinced spiritual attacks are the norm for us
I can see how day dreamin in a focused manner can actually help with manifestation though. I have always been a day dreamer. And then I realized that maybe this can be used as a honed skill.
Great video. #1 and #3 are the most relatable to me. However, sometimes people think I’m trying to help them when really I’m not even worrying about them anymore or never did to begin with, especially across social media. Most of the time, I post things up online for myself and not for anyone else. I’m an INFJ and rarely get encouragement from anyone. If anything, I get judged more than anything else, but we can’t control how people react to certain things, so I usually restrain and ignore others rather than waste my energy defending myself. I mean, you can always scroll by, right? I’m just saying.
Preach my friend!
I was once stuck watching that sad French movie "Amor" for months!! so morbid...
If you help others so much that you are now shorting your own self then you are becoming a problem and your burden ends up, usually, needing to resolved (help from another source) so, you become.the problem. Help yourself and make sure your not going to hang yourself to help another.
Number 2 made me start to wonder for a moment because I ACTUALLY have someone I met personally who lived here in Canada for a time, we met at school, but he had to move back to Europe after his dad's visa expired.
He and I actually really love each other, and we really want to start a life together at some point in our future.
This is so resonant, thank you!!
Awesome👌
It was really helpful!
Thankful for you♡
This is so accurate that is scary. Thank you so much
Really great video! Learned a lot - thanks! ❤
Thanks Wenzes for keeping me focused.
On point. Absolutely beautiful explanation.
You have helped me so much over the past year. Thank you for making these videos
Thank you for doing these videos. Especially since its directed at the least common personality type.
Great video!
I don’t know if I’m an infj but I sure do resonate with all you’ve said.
Excellent. Thank you!
Bravo for the work you're doing , i wish you the best.
these are all so true, your videos keep helping me immensely thank you wenzes ❤️
Truth. It took a long time to realize this about myself. Wish I'd known this years ago. Thanks so much for your work 💕
Thank you for giving me yet another light bulb moment...what you describe around sadness, songs etc. Would never have associated the reasoning you described but I think you are absolutely right, for me at least. As insightful as I like to think I am I don't think I would ever have joined those dots up. Thank you for the content, I have learned a great deal from you to enable me to better understand myself and be kinder to me...I wrote that before getting to point 4! What a gem...again perfectly describes me, and again, I never would have viewed how I live in that way, but that's exactly what I do...Thank you so much.
that was super spot on ! I realized a lot of those addictions or bad habits and am currently working on it. Having someone talk about this makes you feel less lonely and understand that you are not so weird haha. thank you so much for those videos !
currently working on that habits of doing the bare minimum.
The best infj content on CZcams
This video is a great reminder 🌹
Wenze's you nailed me,I thank with my heart,mind,soul!!!Wenze's you're the best life coach and I thank you for the insights.Jerome
Thank you for yet another insightful video that has really helped me understand myself better. I'm at a stage wherein I have disassociated to allow myself to recharge mentally, emotionally and also physically, I am unable to convey what I am going through to my partner as I do not want to burden others with my woes and have also considered going into therapy to figure out what's wrong as it seems to be an amalgamation of so many things all at once and this video is such an eye opener. So thank you.
mercy this lady is in my head im going to start living my abundance thank you
Oh, by the way, watching the part of sad emotions I remembered one thing. There is a book and some research about high sensitivity by Elaine Aron. I found it very compelling to me and I think it may have parallels to INFJ sensitive part. So it may be interesting addition
As much as this stung lol... It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Wow! Talk about the nail on the head love oof. I'm pulling myself up now but TG my friends & partner loved me enough to tell me some of this just before this video 😌 Love your videos. And your accent 😁 Keepem coming pls 🥰
Very enlightening video. A little off topic maybe, but there’s this woman I got in touch with during the market downsizing which cost me my job. Ms. Norman Davis helped me manage my assets by introducing my to the best trading platform and strategies, I earned a lot of $$$ working with Norman at the comfort of my home. I still keep in touch with the amazing lady
As a single mother with 3 kids, it wasn’t easy having to raise them alone after my husband had passed. I remember the hardest part was when my eldest son got into college and having to pay for his tuition would not have been possible without the help of Ms Norman whom i had gotten in contact with the previous year. she assisted me and taught me how to earn extra income
I have a master in mathematical finance, so it wasn’t so easy to get me convinced to begin an investment without me carrying out proper research on her. I had her broker ID checked and she’s fully verified! So I began with a few bucks, only to get huge returns in a month. I reinvested and now I get long term monthly returns… So glad I don’t rely on pay checks anymore.
Not a lot of people are aware of this new market, only a handful know how it works, I was fortunate to reach out to Ms. Davis the beginning of last year, she put me through the basics as a mentor would do, I learnt and earned massively from trading at the comfort of my home.
I have some money in my savings and I would like to see it grow. But am not certain where to begin from. I am a novice at trading. I have watched dozens of videos on Forex trading and I understand all the concepts but I have not been successful at the actual trading. I would like to request for her assistance
< normandavis
Thank you so much for your videos, i find them really informative and helpful. Phenomenally so!
Thanks coach!!!
Wow, very insightful. Especially #3 😖 That also inspires me to sing and make good music though. 🎶 probably why I've loved 90s R&B.
You're very helpful, thank you.
It took a while to figure this out, why I'm slow. And I realized I could use this to my advantage and go with the flow.
Ah the help addiction. Im not the typical good samaritan but im everyones free psychologist and i need to stop. 😑 my head has a lot of ideas i find solutions for everyone. And then im all alone either way.
I thought I was working smarter, not harder
Awesome presentation. I have succeeded in overcoming 1-3 but 3 & 4 are definite challenges.
As you say 3 tends to lead to depression which is really irritating and bad. Unfortunately 3 is mostly in response to being left to being solely responsible for mundane things like cleaning and cooking which have to be done but, being so worn down you struggle to do them with the "passion" you should and then feel bad about that "failure".
As for disassociation I am currently using it to write at an almost insane pace because I love writing, have a "story" to tell and hope and believe that the product can be my "way out" and make all my dreams and aspirations come true. ❤
I would never want another person to take me out of the life I have. Im really content with the life I have. To me it's reality.
Everything you say is true.
OMG I HAVE THE DIFFERENT CONTINENT ONE TOO! THIS IS SO HILARIOUS🤣🤣🤣
Hello 👋O..k.. im Plagued by All 5😅 But I've startes to make small changes for each point. Not easy, but I'm Confident to be Addiction-Less 👍🏿😎👍🏿
Thank you very much for making video that tell about my whole life 😂
You need to be balanced and ask yourself am I getting fulfillment and happiness when I helped someone is it one sided or dose it help both people a healthy INFJ will help and experience happiness or INFJ'S feel obligated and so it won't be authentic .
Really good points, thank you! I'm mainly struggling with 4 and 5 in recent years. The problem is that I'm also living with chronic pain.
For an INFJ Si is the lowest one in the function stack, which means struggling with memory and also feeling our own bodies. For me it feels like I pretty much always live in the current moment, staying on top of changes in time is difficult for me. And with the chronic pain dissociation really helps me cope with the pain sometimes but since I'm not in tune with my own bodily sensations I never really know if I'm currently overdoing it or not doing enough. Differentiating between my disabilities due to my health problems and my addictive tendencies seems almost impossible to me... At least it feels very overwhelming. I tend to go into self doubt spirals about not doing more and not resting enough. I have days when just going shopping and visiting a friend is too much for my body, so that I'm not able to focus on anything the next day because my pain level is too high. And I don't really see it coming, it's only when looking back that I realize when I crossed the line.
Does anyone have any advice about dealing with chronic pain/ health issues as an INFJ?
Chronic pain and other health issues: Look up TMS (Tension myositis syndrome) It resqued me from litteraly all my symptoms. They came from repressed feelings. Journal about past and present (situations/relationships etc.) as well as future worries and see what comes up for you. I was ... SHOCKED by how my "Si" suddenly remembered stuff from like 20 years ago about my father. Nevertheless, almost symptomfree now.
Some things that might help:
End of the day write in a journal the activities you did at roughly what time and how you felt before during after. If you feel pain the next day write it down when you feel it. That way in the next day or two when you feel crummy you can look back, and with enough entries maybe you can pinpoint some events that cause this and then you can address how to tweek it. Also make sure you get the basics on a regular schedule/routine. Eating, sleep, and any type of movement/activity/being outside. And I hear a lot of things like inflammation can happen with what you eat. So say you do all this and still lost at why it is happening, do some elimination in your diet of certain food groups/ingredients for a few weeks (journalling how you feel) and then reintroduce those foods and see how you feel with introducing them back in. Maybe can find the culprit. Can be a combination of things causing the pain so get the things on a baseline that you can and start changing up a possible suspect and see what it does for you. If it sounds like something you’d like to do that is :) good luck hope you feel better
Plant oils tend to be very inflammatory, and so can gluten and nightshades like peppers and tomatoes. I'd try cutting back on these and also cutting back on sugars as well. See how that helps. Dairy can be a problem as well, especially cheeses and yogurts. Butter isn't usually though. My inflammation showed more in a literal sense such as swelling and puffyness, I don't eat nearly as much of these foods now and I don't have that anymore.
People "getting out of my life" is so true!!!....When asked by friends...Hey!; where do you want to go?"...I am always telling my friends to "Take me on their raft ". 🤭
1.helping has actually turned me into my sigma nature completely
Perfectionism is one , obsessive behavior is another, ... lastly .. procrastination but not procrastination... It's like either all or nothing. For example, cleaning for me. Either I'ma do it all or I ain't and once I start I like to finish if I don't I feel incomplete in a way. Like I didn't do it right.
Omg I soooo relate!
Ooff I think I’m dealing with 2, 4 and 5 😔
I have actually been trying to work on 5 the past couple of weeks. Goodness it’s hard work for me since it’s so unusual for me! But I do agree it would be healthier for me to work on it and I think that would also help with 2 and 4
There was a person I was interested on and talked about moving to Europe with them.
I do declare… sucks… worry is negative prayer. And background sounds f shooting. that’s the language that the first part of you called a baby learns musically so that’s why classical when really classical music helps brain development. It’s because it had and it had the whole spectrum of real instruments. Very incredible things that what I was in a concert it was an experience, so I’m happy to hear that you have been given that baby together and here it’s challenging how that feels for you to hear me say it, but I’ve been binge watching it all day and like of respect I do so far but like today I just got an early at home for me and I I want to give thanks and put in my two cents because he’s a late women that we don’t like. I don’t need to give you my résumé just saying I like what you just said they’re like and you if you send an earlier video, maybe the same one to be honest we are like we’re all creating this together. This reality is a thing we’re doing Together. In the incredible?
All I want is love that lasts
Is all I want too much to ask?
Is it something wrong with me?
All I want is a good guy
Are my expectations far too high?
Try my best but what can I say
That's my brain response for #2 and #3 🙈
I feel the same way . Its not 2 much 2 ask for whatsoever. And no your expectations are not 2 high. Your unique your special and your unlike any 1 else every person in this world is . Never doubt anything . You got this! Have a good day, month ,year/s ... Life
I really like it that our addictions are very rare... 😂... I wont be absorbing people's energy anymore
Wow. It still scares me how its possible to classify human behavior. You described me to a t
Wish I could give this video more than one like!
I't so true
Idk what to say, but amaaazing Wenzes really. 💗💜❤️💛🧡
I've question about addiction of sad mood, Wenzes now I feel really nothing, yeah I'm more funny, laugh all the time and being childish but still, feeling nothing the prob I go search for some living effect of the sad mood but I can't feel it no longer, so what I do? 😔
Also about knowing ppl from another world, what if now, yes I'm so interested and extremely excited of knowing others from other countries but now I don't look into it as they would rescue me, I just love living in diff worlds but still constructing mine so it's OK?
I'm addicted to magnum ice cream......so GOOD! 😙😘😂
OMG, #3, addicted to wallowing -- guilty
I’m just addicted to perfume. And maybe love. . .
...how can you be addicted to helping others when other than family and 2 or 3 close friends ...as an INTROVERT you don’t spend significant time even..around..others?
Well, I have been protecting you.
The problem is finding the mindset association for INFJ
No human is programmed the
same . Every blue print is different in individual life
Domesticated lifestyle is different from those who prefer
To live out the box. Domesticated lifestyle has been
Going on for centuries , that’s
Ingrained or inherited that it is
Part or dominant feature in people’s life. As a INFJ one percent population, we stand out differently, alien llke that average person feels threatened, knowing that we cannot be domesticated . So INFJ is blessed with personal Freedom. But at same time cursed by 99 percent of population. So caught between
Good and Evil .
Wow, do I feel like I've been followed the last 3 weeks. LOL
😭😭😭😭 thèse addictions are crazy
💙
Addiction to alcohol
I hate happiness😂😂😂
What about actual drugs, like Heroin, as an INFJ?
I'd be careful, respectfully, not to correlate cognition with behaviour as although the two are interconnected they are mutually exclusive. Great ISFP perspective however 😊...What you're speaking of is very much indicative of an Se authority re dissociating from reality for a finite period; Ni-Fi can do this especially in more convergent ISFP subtypes. I highly recommend checking out CPT. There's a tendency for all cognitive introverts to dissociate; INFJs on the other hand will do this by retreating into abstract logistical thought via Ni-Ti. The dream world however is synonymous with Ni-Fi & making the 'right choices' an Se authority reality - ie locking on to a microscopic portion of external reality.
Can you make yt shorts, please?
💯🎯✌️👍
Any INFJ from Delhi NCR? It would be nice to connect...
I am infj ..I struggle with substance abuse. Any insight?
Me2