5 REASONS INFJs ARE TOO HUMBLE
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Even though we INFJs get overlooked by others, that doesn't stop us from feeling proud of our achievements! We could brag about every success and bask in the glory... but why don't most of us? That's what this episode is all about - diving deep into five reasons why even incredibly accomplished INFJs tend to stay too humble. So if you want learn a little something more about your own behavior, then buckle up and join us for an enlightening ride.
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Remember. Being humble doesn't mean thinking less of oneself, it just means that you don't think lowly of others.
You are really got it right. 🎁💚🎈
Straight facts!!💯💯💯😎💕💕
Giving people the benefit of the doubt even though they may have a bad reputation putting yourself in their shoes seeing their side and then meditating on how to fix their reputation so they fit in better casually as possible as if there never was a problem!
Did not always work but learned a lot from it.
Love it!
FEMALE-ATTRACTION/ATTRACTION/ROMANTIC-ATTRACTION/FEMALE-PSYCHOLOGY/HOW-TO-ATTRACT-FEMALES/FEMALE-MANIPULATORS/MANIPULATE-FEMALES/FEMALE-DATING-FEMALES
Answer:
1) 'Emotional Appeal'; how you make a female "feel" is the key to her everything. Give her 'emotional-thrills' via manipulation.
2) Physical Attraction; even this is connected to emotional appeal/attraction. Both points connect the strange stereotype between women "fucking" psychopaths, "bad-boys"; and ESTP/Chad, ENFP, etc.
[I strongly believe that most women cannot differentiate between the sensation of "emotional-thrills" (including 'lust') and [genuine] "love"].
Love-definition. What is "love"? Answer: Excessive humanity for an individual.
Since most women are emotionally immature (they are good at masking it; do not confuse the two), they are exceedingly susceptible to emotional manipulation/exploitation.
Since society over-values and over protects the human female, the female can afford not to develop their sentience, intelligence, emotional residency and self-control. This makes them both unintelligent/narcissitic and emotionally-vulnerable.
Of the MBTI, most females are "feelers" and unintelligent-feelers, i.e. "sensor-feelers" (population density), no less. They are more vulnerable to this realization/exploit, i.e. that physical attraction and emotional manipulation (via "thrills") is the key to attracting the female.
NOTE: Most women monitor and prey on the emotions of a man. They attempt to corrode the emotional resiliency of a male child; thus making the male child susceptible to her "whining", narcissitic-complaints (self-serving and emotionally abusive [whims]); psychological manipulation via emotional abusing their sons will make them a dull, and disposable pawn (who exists solely to serve women and lay down their lives, as thought and conditioned via social norms).
as an INFJ - the problem is, when they see our potential and when we don't dim our lights for them, that's where the jealousy, envy, egos and insecurities come in - when i stopped dimming myself for these people who underestimated me and belittled me they couldn't take it. They wanted to see me fail in a lot of things and laughed and mocked me - however each and everything i do is what i have worked on even if they kept putting me down and sabotaging me.
I've experienced this with people in the past, too. Sometimes people would get jealous of my talent for poetry and lyrics and maybe even just my personality. I first tried to ignore them, but the bully would refuse to be ignored, so I had to stick up for myself and pretty much humiliate them in front of an audience like they humiliated me. I look young for my age, so peers who are even younger than me tend to try to bully me and it gets very confusing. I'm pretty much tired of dealing with people.
As a survivor of being a male sigma INFJ stopping school bullies and evil teachers and one evil bus driver who kicked me off the bus in 1966 at age eight hitched a ride beating the bus home 😮 nicknamed king mathias in grade school and first day of high school stopped a bully and was nicknamed mad dog butcher bone rack in high school. For initiating new kids they were sent to pick a fight with me. I saw right through the bs only used the force needed to give them a pass pathetically wanting to go with such a pathetic groups for friends. I trashed bullying so well by making them the laughing stock. The backlashes were ganging up on little old me! Such cowardly acts I made it so obvious how scared the bullies were of me because they could not handle me one on one. Humbled by that I always knew how to give them an out and save face or if they did not choose it then they had to be humiliated and wreck to make sure they did not test me again. I’m 65 now and survived fighting injustice with butterfly effects because to much in the limelight creates demented personalities so I know how dangerous “Male Sigma INFJ are that is why there are so few that survive! Perfect example is the movie “pay it foreword”
I so wish all male Sigma INFJ’s could survive the world would be a better place !
We need to find them very young to protect them from so much evil because they are so worth saving !
Most of my friends were girls and the down trodden.
Congrats on stepping over their pettiness and prospering. It's not always easy to do. I wish I had known about the personality types and their characteristics decades ago. It could've saved me lots of tears, anger, and depression over not being understood and being treated badly when I was just being nice.
know that it's reflection of them, and it's not your responsibility about your feelings
You are lions 🦁 And they are hyenas… It’s always been this way… They liked bullying you when you were a little cub, now it’s time to grow up and stop being afraid!! It’s not noble to let hyenas rule, take your place!!! 🦁
We as INFJs spend way too much time trying to manage other people’s Egos. Our focus is where our power is, it’s time we started pouring into ourselves instead of pandering to other people’s insecurities (rant over). 🖐️ 🎤 ⤵️
*"The brighter you shine the more shadows you cast." - Shi heng yi*
I understand this principle well enough that l purposefully am selective about when, where & with whom l dim or turn my light on... Basically l assess to see if the amount of shadows (jealousy/hate) l will cast are worth the energy to deal with in that moment/setting.
As Sun Tzu said, *"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."* ... So ultimately #Discernment is the key.
Our INFJ light is like having expensive jewellery; if you are #wise you don't wear/flash it everywhere or everytime. Balance & being aware of one's surroundings should be the determining factor of whether to shine or be humble. There's a time and a place for shining & humility. INFJs must learn to decipher the right time to shine or not.
Very good insight. Thank you.
The part of the jewelry clicks so much.
Do not help others more than they help themselves...except when you realize it is actually really about how much it will help you. For example, coworkers want to learn more about Excel. I decide to organize a Lunch and Learn to help them. They aren't making any similar effort.
Wow! I just want to learn more about Excel and doing it with others will motivate me. I may even be able to negotiate a free lunch from the company for doing so...and be recognized for being so proactive!
I do want others to shine. But it is awesome when I can multi-benefit. There are so many ways I can help others. Why not do so in ways that also help me, and BONUS POINTS!!!, make me look good to upper management or friends/family.
That is why teaching others is so good for us INFJs as long as we make it mutually beneficial.
I feel like I’m still learning my worth, once I started to believe in myself more other people showed me the same. It’s just easy fall back into the same thought process
#1 Used to be a problem for me. I now see what I had done and I reflected to people the goodness and greatness that was inside of me! I now know who I am but I had to cut off a lot of people. I am feeling better and get treated better by people. No more playing small. I wanted everyone around me to win but realized some of these ppl were plotting and praying on my downfall.
1:22 #1 we project our potential unto others
4:16 #2 we want to make other people shine
8:26 #3 We are visionaries
10:48 #4 We speak to people on eye level
14:30 #5 We want real connections
(this is very much my problem, as well as #4 and #1)
Thanks! Bless you!!💯💯💕💕
I didn't understand #4. Where are we supposed to look.... above them, away from them, not make eye contact??? What Is the right way to look to be empowered?
@@maureenperes8541 Wenzes doesn't literally mean at eye level, she's using a metaphor. I was just going to say "it took me a second to figure out what she meant by that, too" lol, case in point! I was bringing myself to your level so that I didn't seem like a know it all.
@@JustineAdlong thank you. I loved the way you said what you said. Point intended with wit unintended. 👌Your style of communication in a succinct way was charming. 😀
@@maureenperes8541 I would say more like down to earth if need be or more like fitting into their way of thinking in their shoes casually figuring out how they are communicating knowing what they want to hear relating to them at their level of thinking. Potential is only using just enough and knowing when to not to really know! It is never boring fixing things or smoothing things over. Never overdoing is key and being wrong or imperfect works wonders at balancing the norm not standing out just human 😎👍
I've worked with plenty of 'big fish in a small pond' types, I'm not interested in becoming the big cheese in any department [especially w/o the pay raise that should go with it] - titles mean nothing to me. I have titles, and they're rolling around somewhere in a filing cabinet. People tell me to frame them and hang them on the wall - SO NOT ME. I just like to knock out the job and contribute when I can and move on - and I like others who quietly pull in the harness with me. I'm happy to be the person behind the scenes - setting the stage, AND I hate it when people are unaware of how many people are making it possible for them to get where they're going or be where they are. I had a job where my supervisor was a rare and aware person, and very observant - she promoted people without making a big scene or expecting favors from them down the road [manipulation]. I loved the cut of her jib. I don't have to try to shine - I am shine. I'm not hiding. I'm not tooting my own horn, either. We are ALL shine! It's obvious to me. There ARE a lot of people who wouldn't know or see 'shine' if it burned their figurative retinas out...THEY'RE the ones 'trying' to shine, and it's rather pitiful. [God help you if you come right out and ask them what they're trying to accomplish with all their antics, so I just give them the look.]
I never knew I was an INFJ but God put this in my feed for a reason. I've always known I was different to other people but could never explain it
My Dad used to say that one shouldn't blow one's own horn. I totally disagree. If we don't announce / advertise who we are and what we can do then nobody is going to know. Nobody will care. Give them something to care about. Most of us live in a Capitalist society so we have to advertise if anyone is going to buy. My problem with this is that I've done SO MUCH and SO MANY things that it's quite intimidating to most everyone I meet around here, and it scares them. But, at the same time, this weeds out the losers who would become jealous and try to sabotage me.
I'm zeroing in on tte first two points - but they're all good,
#1. We project our vision onto others.. Ths is something I may have believed most of my life, but not this clearly. This explanation brings it out plainly. We see their potential, but don't necessarily apply it to ourselves especially. We need to know that it's potential in ourselves, too!Very unique take on that! I need to roll that around in my mind for a while. As a teacher I'm always seeing potential in the kids and maybe it's a good opportunity to do some self searching and see how that applies to me.
#2. We want to make other people shine. The only problem is that we do it at our own detriment. It fits in great with point #1. (I love the the "oxygen"example. PERFECT ❣)
Although I have emphasized just the first two points here, I can see how respect for ourselves and our own unique journey moves through this whole message. You show how it can make ourselves more genuine and helpful to others. And it certainly does help us, too.
Listened to you 5 times saying about talking to people and projecting to them that I got more out of a convo...that literally explains everything about why I never understood why people looked down on me. One hand I think I'm doing them a service by making them feel better about themselves but on the other hand it tears away the potential respect they could have had for me. Holy crap. Thank you so much, finally a 💡
Yes it's like they wrongfully think us encouraging them or being positive about their potential, is because we don't have it in ourselves. And that is completely incorrect.
@@Ela29653 exactly fitting in at their level is a balancing act of well being without giving them a swollen head that they belittle you! Lots to learn even at my age. Hind sight is a real eye opener for me! Just I see things from a bigger perspective not one on one so much!
Sigma INFJ’s have a “knight in shining armour” effect on those that we help so we have an advantage of not being belittled by them when we give them advice and understanding fixing those that are bullied has a long term side effect! I have noticed some grow up and abuse other people to do the fighting for them with V for vendetta and turn on me over the decades because I tell them to stop being the bully to the past bullies so deep a rabbit hole !
@@Ela29653these “humans” are weirdos and have a severe fallen nature that they mostly can’t overcome it seems. i dont generally relate to them
Do you feel like YOU are failing to see your own worth?
We all do. Can't help it IMO. That being said I realize it is important. How can I share it and help others if I don't even recognize it?
NO. Thank God!
This is a complex question. I was really failing years ago, but not now. The thing that I don't do now is plaing by rules that are not written by me and are not ment for me. I have found my special places where I can feel aknowledged and respected and where I can get a feedback so I could know my impact on the world. As about the more important matter how I deal with my humbleness in relationships it's a little bit more complicated. It's very, very important how your parents have raised you. I have that very important example from my father and I know deep down inside how to not get blinded by love and desire to make others shine(by making my own self miserable). My mother on the other side is more light character, she is not that insistfull, but she was agreeable with my father on the matters of how I and my brother should be raised so the things ware clear - the most important thing for my parents, especially my father was how to make us know the red lines we should not let others cross. Nowdays I know my Fe side, but I also know my sigma side. The two important questions here are first in what moment I should completely back aways from a relationship because I feel like it is one-sided and the other person could drag me down in seriouse truble. I have no problems with this, but I still haven't reach the next level which is what should I do to never fall in one-sided relationship anymore. We can withstand a storm of a possible one-sided relationships if we know our sigma side good enough, but doing this means you have fail in your effords to find suitable person for the kind of relationship you want and you have lost time and energy in that. We can tap into our sigma power to escape a toxic relationship, but why we shold fall in such a relations to begin with? To reject someone from deep relations with you doesn't make you rude. You can still be good and caregiving, but with the other person's limitations to your own self in mind. How can you give something to someone if you have already drained your energy and emotionsl resourses? I hope all people here to get to this message - give something and keeping your ability to give to a lot of people is much better than give all to one person by draining your own self.
Yes. I know I have some value, but it is hard for me to judge just how much value I have relative to others. It is SO easy for me to see their potential and to throw myself into "helping" them that I think I lose myself in the process.
@@sigmainfjbulgaria4478used to and got massively taken advantage of. narcs can smell identity issues a mile away
In the past two workplaces i was, i did accomplish things without telling anybody. But colleagues picked up on it and started promoting me. Which resulted in me being viciously attacked by managers. I mean, ambush meetings, micromanagement, psycological attacks. Granted 2 narcissists, but how do i continue? If i don't dim my light, i'm perceived as intimidating and i get attacked. I would love to get some tips. Thanks.
MsDDutch, I've experienced this in many toxic workplaces. The solution may be to set up your own small business of choice. You can be the manager and create a peaceful work environment that will allow your talents will shine! Blessings & best wishes 🕊️🕯️💟
@@stavroulam7363 Hi, Stavroula M. I've been thinking about that, but can't figure out just yet what type of business. I'm sorry you had to experience this too. Thank you for your response.😘
That's great MsDDutch that you're thinking about it. You can start an online business that highlights your talents and makes you happy 🙂
alot of these other types set up no win situations for people like us because we dont play into their world view they get insulted. pretty much alot of these other types are judgmental shallow gatekeepers that are low key trying to stunt your growth and ruij your life passive aggressively
Ironically, I wasn't trying to be humble. I was taught that the right thing to do is to be considerate of others. Being an INFJ, and being sensitive emotionally, this came naturally to me. I assumed I wasn't doing anything special, so, I took it for granted.
This had two consequences for me. First, I didn't learn to cultivate my natural ability to show care towards others. The INFJ caring heart can absorb an enormous amount of negativity. Without it, I had to close myself off from others to protect myself. Thus, I tried to be pleasant by maintaining a safe distance. I also tried to get the affection and acceptance I longed for, which comes only by getting close to others and being vulnerable. Of course, this contradiction couldn't work.
, including how the interact with boundaries
Second, since I didn't take an active (self-aware) role in my relationships, I let others determine how the relationship would go. My way of "caring" was thus to accommodate everyone in every way. Basically, I just let people run over me; I didn't set and enforce my boundaries. Now, INFJs basically mirror the other person in how the interact in a relationship. This means that my approach worked fine for people who would respect my boundaries. I would likewise respect their boundaries. But for those who did not respect my boundaries, it was fine with them to walk all over me, but not ok when I would do the same back to them. I wasn't trying to be mean; I was just following their lead! This, I didn't understand; this lack of reciprocation didn't make any sense.
It wasn't until an INFP showed me what true authentic care was, that I realized I was neglecting my true self. (This INFP was also the first person I had met in my life who actually knew how to connect with me! I was blown away!)
Fortunately, somehow my caring heart won out over my becoming cynical. I found that it came easy for me to care about others, but now, since I was being self-aware, I was also able to set my boundaries and develop my caring heart. It wasn't an unusual effort to do this. It just came natural, and it also felt a lot better to just be myself.
Living in a rural town with a small population in the Southeastern U.S., it is safe to say the majority of people I come into contact with in my daily affairs tend toward tradition. Finding like-minded souls is a challenge.
It is the way to protect ourselfs from all the toxic people we have around. Try to show your value or potential they will do all they can to destroy you...
Wenzes' videos are the only ones I like before listening to them 👍🏾☺️
fax🙏🏾
I relate to so many of these, if not all and I've started realizing these things about myself. Its a process, and its scary but once you realize you're allowed to shine.. you're supposed to shine and what others think of you when you shine is irrelevant - you start seeing people step up and forward who recognize and appreciate your light and you become drawn to showing more of it, because you become comfortable in shining where preshine, if you will, you'd feel guilty for shining, for imposing your shine on others. When that's not what you're doing at all.. It's just the way some respond to that shine that make us feel that way. Thank you for this!!!!
Generally I thought humbling yourself down in these ways was a good thing caring for others. This understanding helps locate improbable areas. - That projection thing😳😅 . Ty Wenzes.
This is spot on. As a mom, I feel like my childrens' accomplishments are theirs, but their short-comings are mine. I'm not sure if that's an INFJ thing or a mom thing tho.
I relate to this so much wenzes. Thank you for sharing this! Many times, you articulate what I felt and didn't have the words for it. Thank you for understanding us so well so I can keep growing as a person and INFJ 💕 you'll never know how much your videos have helped me heal, mature, and blossom.
You are the perfect gift for an Infj who’s becoming more self aware! Thank you❤
I know I am too humble but its worked for me. Invariably people are arrogant to gain recognition I have found., In other words they climb the ladder through validation. I climbed the ladder through skill being a humble person and thats way more powerful. Once you get to the top, the trick is to let everyone know you are superior to all of them, from a position of ones humility. This worlds a jungle and once at the top, that humility better be used wisely or one can quickly become a cash cow.
We are genuine and know truth. We don’t have to speak, our actions prove who we are!
Let's all try to love each other as best we can, from as far away as possible shall we.
I so appreciate and love you! This confirmed my awareness that I even go into paranoia and sabotage good relationships out of fear that friends are envious of my light shining and success!
Keep going lady! You are synthesising this paradigm quite well! Respect and warm wishes!
Also thanks :)
I never give less than all I have to give. Even if that includes helping some one else do better. I don’t dim myself but will take on coaching or guiding. If we were playing soccer I’d be the sweeper roaming the field backing up plays, filling in holes or feeding the ball forwards, unassumingly.
Wow how does one become so wise!! Thank you for all of your videos they are alll so relatable that I can’t believe it
This video was so valuable to me. I have actively witnessed myself projecting my potential on to others all my life without knowing what I was doing. I can also see how that could be very irritating for the other person too 🫢. Thank you for the gift of clarity 🙏🏽💖🎁💐
I want #5 real connections but at the same time I don’t because of #1 which makes me #4 because #2 but ultimately, I am a visionary! Thanks Wenses. You are my favorite therapist
I am so grateful for stumbling in your channel. I have been watching your videos whenever I have time. I have quite gained a different perspective about myself that I wasn't aware of, some where not nice but truth is the truth. I am moving forward with my life, I am shining the light, I am being authentic and among many things, I see the people for who they are, and I see a lot of things differently. I have let go of people, and taken accountability for the part I have played. Thank you. 💯💯💯🌼👏
Brilliant!! I needed to hear this.
Great topic! 👍😃
Thanks!
Damn i really needed to hear this 🙏
This was the perfect video I needed!! I've experienced every single one of these things and have struggled deeply with showing all of me other fearing of "being too much" due to my experience level. I realize this has gotten me nowhere and it is time to stop. Thank you.
Really helpful...thank you!!!!
I kind of agree with being too humble. But if you emit an aura of confidence and power, there is no need to boast, brag, or try to persuade anyone. They pick it up. Consciously or subconsciously. They sense it.
Thank you Wenzes 😊
THANK YOU
Wow, I really needed to hear this today. Thanks ❤
Thank you
Thank you 🤍🤍❣
This episode changed my life! Thank You!
Thank you for your kindness.
10/10 stars. Amazing message, Wenzes - thank you!
Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️
Great subject to cover and very well explained, Thank you so much 🫶
Yeah, Great video! I was just thinking yesterday about point #1, and then you brought it up hehe, loved that you talked about point #4.
Thank you 💙😊
Your videos have helped me so much in my life. Thank you Wenzes.
Miss Wenzes, I hope you know how great you truly are. Several of these videos on the inter webs and you, you Miss Wenzes, you are the best. The GOAT!
Excellent. SO insightful, as always! Thank you, Wenzes! - Your mission, is our treasure. God Bless! Stay safe, and be well!!
☆ this connected more dots for me loving infj ME 💙
So much bang on points in this video that I'll only comment on the one thing that differs which is that I actually have the opposite problem that I keep treating people at equal eye level in terms of emotional maturity/self-awareness/desire for growth/ability to process information/etc which is what gets me into trouble a lot for not realizing so many people I'm speaking with do not have that same level. Therefore they get offended and don't see my good, honest intentions, and I'm always misunderstood because of that.
Do you mean you don’t adhere to heirarchies and see people as people in different roles and uniforms rather than as superiors?
I see why narcissists tend to zero in on INFJs.
Lol take up space!! There are only a few of us on the planet… we need more INFJ intelligence in this world.
Thanks so much for this video Wenzes - it came at the perfect time for me. I have an important meeting next week where I’ll need to stand in the authority of my position. I feel much more confident to step into my strength without being humble or speaking eye to eye for the sake of my vulnerable client. Much gratitude for all you share with the INFJ community ❤
Hi Wenzes, it's been 8 months that I listen to all your videos, and that I can't wait for the next to come, and I wanted to say that it really amazes me how intelligent I think your understaning of life is.😳 ( I am french I hope that you understand my message ! ) Thank you so so much for all the mindblown that you keep given me with your content 🙏
I’ve seen enough influencers talking about INFJ and portraying a role as such and I am not as convinced, but with you? I can never doubt you’re being one of us! I believe your level of personality is almost the same as mine. Glad to have found you!❤
I agree, I do me now . ❤
Sucks to dumb it down for ppl. Js
Wenzes this is so legit 💪
From my observation. I’m not going to Stop living, because of somebody’s expectations or insecurities, then my life is dormant. Then stagnation runs my life. You can’t please everybody , thats reality. All I can say I only can navigate my own life , people are accountable for
own actions. Yes , you can lay the ground work for them, but it up to them if they want it, God gave all humans Freewill, I’m not to there to shelter their mindset, in order to please them If I misunderstood you, correct me if I’m wrong
Рахмет, Вензес
❤❤❤
🙏
💙
Alhamde liAllah
Read me my life why don’t cha.
Thank you ❤
Nice eyes
title is misleading
I need God's help. I don't understand this world.
Start praying to God for understanding. The only way to understand yourself is to understand how and why God made you!! In the Bible, many times the reader is confronted with the idea that we need to Ask, Seek and Knock. Pursue your relationship with God by prayer, Bible reading and considering that He loves you.
Wenzes did mention the concept of letting our light shine. Please do 😃.
Hope this helps!!! I will pray for you 🙏. Miss Monique 🙂🙏💗