The INFJ fade. (or: Why We Get Ignored)

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  • čas pƙidĂĄn 24. 02. 2018
  • If you, as an INFJ, find yourself being ignored or fading into the background, I have a couple of theories on why that's happening and what to do about it.
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Komentáƙe • 5K

  • @FrankJames
    @FrankJames  Pƙed 5 lety +211

    🔮 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ czcams.com/video/AwATt5_nXNM/video.html ⭐
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    • @sunainapal7088
      @sunainapal7088 Pƙed 5 lety +7

      I was literally completing your sentences, thank you for this! I feel understood!

    • @kelleynewman6005
      @kelleynewman6005 Pƙed 4 lety +8

      Im the same way.im pretty quiet.i think before i add things too.very talkative people really wears me out.

    • @anonymity3134
      @anonymity3134 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      This video really talked to me. I remember going out with my friends (3-5) and while walking around and talking, I always, ALWAYS get forgotten and they forget about me. They even ask after fucking 10 minutes, where's Albert?? (my name) and I'm just behind him! He's like oh hahaha you're like a ninja (everyone agrees)
      I Feel lonelier with people but less when I'm alone at home. I feel misunderstood and like everyone are ignorant dicks that have their heads way too deep up their ass. But I always forgive them and always wanna help, make them proud be important and a positive impact, even to my childhood was the absolute the opposite. What do you think? I guess I'm a INFJ allot of things match up to me so that's why.

    • @itswhatyoumakeit6950
      @itswhatyoumakeit6950 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Man, I needed this, plus, I'm a Libra AND a middle child! Lol, it's got good sides hey guys, they'll never see us coming! I really like flying below the radar! You are so on point! I'm very grateful for coming across you! Man, it's comforting and bittersweet to know you guys feel just like me! I just exhaled and my neck and shoulders relaxed. Thank you for sharing this, that takes work, I can't put an image of myself out there just yet! I'm working on that! Hey, commenting use to be too much for me! But, I sub'd, I'm Erin, see you guys around!

    • @itswhatyoumakeit6950
      @itswhatyoumakeit6950 Pƙed 4 lety

      @@sunainapal7088 yes! It's amazing! I'm so happy, I think I found my TRIBE!!😁💞

  • @infjness
    @infjness Pƙed 6 lety +2630

    INFJs be like "why is it that I never meet any other INFJs in real life? .. oh right we're invisible. ok"

    • @ashamazon2262
      @ashamazon2262 Pƙed 6 lety +53

      LOL I hope to meet more

    • @WhoaaaMiaaa
      @WhoaaaMiaaa Pƙed 6 lety +121

      You'll know when you do, though. It's just something...you feel. You just know they're different, but similar to yourself.

    • @Lillith9008
      @Lillith9008 Pƙed 6 lety +2

      HA!

    • @moregaming49
      @moregaming49 Pƙed 6 lety +3

      I laughed

    • @LordOfTheWhores
      @LordOfTheWhores Pƙed 5 lety +45

      I've been compared to possible INFJ but it's always the ones who try to flaunt their weirdness which makes me think they're not one. Real INFJ exist but you have to talk to us one on one to really tell imo.

  • @r.m7114
    @r.m7114 Pƙed 4 lety +1945

    "You're so shy omg."
    ..... why..... would..... i..... speak..... if...... i...... don't....... have....... anything....... to say???????

    • @amandajanson3694
      @amandajanson3694 Pƙed 4 lety +63

      I relate!! 😂 seriously...

    • @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983
      @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 Pƙed 4 lety +16

      Yes, go off on Karen 😂

    • @noodleislife4572
      @noodleislife4572 Pƙed 3 lety +81

      Right like why does being quiet always gotta correlate being shy wtf!! Must I speak on everything I come across 🙄

    • @cecile6802
      @cecile6802 Pƙed 3 lety +3

      I relate 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @marcus813
      @marcus813 Pƙed 3 lety +55

      I'm a shy INFJ, but I don't always have something to say. I would rather not say a bunch of empty words.

  • @graciawong8855
    @graciawong8855 Pƙed 4 lety +2584

    INFJs are not “quiet”. Our eyes and expressions can give away the crazy internal monologue. And people find that extremely jntimidating

    • @vanessaellefson7806
      @vanessaellefson7806 Pƙed 4 lety +162

      Totally true! I've been told I have "intense eyes" and people closest to me always know if I have more to say that I'm not saying verbally.

    • @hv3079
      @hv3079 Pƙed 4 lety +10

      @@vanessaellefson7806 WORDDđŸ˜‚đŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

    • @dr.frankenstein6434
      @dr.frankenstein6434 Pƙed 3 lety +48

      on the bright side my face also speaks exaclty what i want it to at times i can easily make my point with just the right look

    • @kassandrasabean6020
      @kassandrasabean6020 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Why? It's not meant as such.

    • @PGOuma
      @PGOuma Pƙed 3 lety +3

      @@vanessaellefson7806 yep

  • @Snuuy143
    @Snuuy143 Pƙed 4 lety +1389

    As a INFJ sometimes even when I try to talk, I usually get ignored by other people. Like wtf????

    • @lisalawyer8275
      @lisalawyer8275 Pƙed 3 lety +260

      I rarely talk, or express my opinion; but the odd time I do, I am usually ignored as well.
      But then there's those few friends that hush everyone else up so that they hear what I have to say. It really depends on the person/crowd I'm with.

    • @farouqkhalil1743
      @farouqkhalil1743 Pƙed 3 lety +82

      Yeah, then it becomes irritating to the highest degree. It irks my nerves when that happens. It lights a fire behind my eyes

    • @ankhtruth
      @ankhtruth Pƙed 3 lety +133

      Sounds like my life in a box. When Im trying to ad my opinion to the discussion, people almost ALWAYS cut me off by talking 'over' my sentence. Sometimes I will have to start over three or four times before I manage to get through. Feels annoying and really disrespectful. Many times I just lay down and pick up my mobile instead.

    • @celineka2671
      @celineka2671 Pƙed 3 lety +34

      It's the same for me. I thought I was the only one in this situation

    • @PGOuma
      @PGOuma Pƙed 3 lety +53

      I feel you. Idk why. I try and try again to be talkative and put myself out there but I still feel this shield in front of me while everyone else is grouped together in this bubble. It's so depressing honestly :/

  • @NASkeywest
    @NASkeywest Pƙed 4 lety +2982

    Every one: "You are pretty quiet."
    Me: "Only on the outside."

  • @justinael
    @justinael Pƙed 6 lety +10825

    I'm definitely INFJ. But I'm very, very talkative when i feel like talking. Then I need to hide and be alone, regretting the talking. Do others feel like that, too?

    • @jennifervantassel4571
      @jennifervantassel4571 Pƙed 5 lety +368

      justinael Yes! When I am with my family. Especially my 21 year old daughter and 16 yr old son. I just talk talk talk!
      The other day (I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks) he was looking tired. I said "I'm wearing you out aren't I?" he said "mmm..kind of". He didn't want to hurt my feelings, he knew I had a lot to share and was excited to see him.
      My daughter is entp and we both talk a lot back and forth, kinda amped up. Then we have to go to separate rooms for 2-4 hrs to recharge.

    • @JesusisLord..
      @JesusisLord.. Pƙed 5 lety +73

      YUP

    • @NuLiForm
      @NuLiForm Pƙed 5 lety +610

      yep...when i sense a personality or intellectual connection....it's so rare! & i get all excited like a kid in a candy store...thus will occasionally yap my brains out if they are responsively clicking & excitedly talking too......then, Zap!...i suddenly stop..freeze...feeling like an idiot in need of a rabbit hole, when i hear my own voice..going on & on...*shudders*

    • @JesusisLord..
      @JesusisLord.. Pƙed 5 lety +34

      Nu Liform wow yes exactly!!!

    • @dawnjb5815
      @dawnjb5815 Pƙed 5 lety +31

      I felt it too!

  • @jadenortiz5007
    @jadenortiz5007 Pƙed 4 lety +1806

    I often find myself acting different depending on who I’m with - not being fake, but I tend to take on the traits or energy of whom ever I’m with.

    • @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983
      @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 Pƙed 4 lety +91

      Same.
      One time I spent the night with my cousin and she has a southern accent.
      By that evening I was speaking with such a heavy southern accent that when I got home my mother commented on it.
      I do things like that anytime I talk to someone, I have noticed that I will even take on their laugh, even if I have only been talking to them for a few minutes...
      What's wrong with me? Lmao 😂

    • @vluessky
      @vluessky Pƙed 3 lety +28

      It’s okay :) it’s empathy 💗

    • @luc6284
      @luc6284 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      That makes sense to me

    • @constantinehopkins4355
      @constantinehopkins4355 Pƙed 3 lety +16

      Chameleon sis

    • @cathybarlow3206
      @cathybarlow3206 Pƙed 3 lety +27

      me too. I thought there was something wrong with me when I was growing up. I even had weird things like I would say I feel anxiety....not meaning I was personally feeling anxiety but that I could feel the others anxiety..eventhough they did not appear..to be being anxious...then I couldn't sort out if it was theirs or mine for a long time. Now I know what is going on.

  • @DNT2903
    @DNT2903 Pƙed 4 lety +521

    “They’re not ignoring you. They just don’t know how to deal with you. Because you’re that cool.” Bro this changed my life! Seriously, i feel less anxious about people right now.

    • @whitneylivingston4171
      @whitneylivingston4171 Pƙed 2 lety +8

      Yes!

    • @justsomeguyfromthemcu7052
      @justsomeguyfromthemcu7052 Pƙed rokem +13

      I needed that.

    • @mytruthbekind5793
      @mytruthbekind5793 Pƙed rokem +3

      Lol. I feel like awkward and like a dork. I can see this as a possibility because life has greatly improved as I have gotten older and been able to get away from those that were hurtful. I learned from their criticisms.

    • @TrixMC
      @TrixMC Pƙed 7 měsĂ­ci

      ​​@@mytruthbekind5793I agree their hatred towards me only made me better

  • @borisvandruff7532
    @borisvandruff7532 Pƙed 5 lety +1886

    1) Does it need to be said?
    2) Does it need to be said by me?
    3) Does it need to be said by me right now?

    • @robertjohnson4401
      @robertjohnson4401 Pƙed 4 lety +270

      4) Does it need to be said by me right now and will they appreciate it.

    • @leestones4831
      @leestones4831 Pƙed 4 lety +296

      5) if they appreciate it good I can sleep tonight. if they don't I'll sit up thinking about that moment and how I could've made it better.

    • @LiSa-fc5sp
      @LiSa-fc5sp Pƙed 4 lety +7

      ohhtruee

    • @Alex-sr7op
      @Alex-sr7op Pƙed 4 lety +242

      4) Oh shit, they changed the topic...

    • @svlokeswar4108
      @svlokeswar4108 Pƙed 4 lety +33

      @@Alex-sr7op Oh god!every f*cking time!

  • @slimmyjimmy7
    @slimmyjimmy7 Pƙed 4 lety +1665

    “They’re not ignoring you. They just don’t know how to deal with you. Because you’re that cool.”

  • @acooldude3164
    @acooldude3164 Pƙed 3 lety +554

    As an INFJ, finding a good time to insert my thought into a conversation when I won't be interrupting anyone else's comment flow, only to wait too long and have the conversation move on without me happens ALL the time.

  • @Jade-ns5dm
    @Jade-ns5dm Pƙed 4 lety +483

    "why so quiet?" *in a condescending tone*
    maybe because not everyone wants to blab their unstructured and harebrained thoughts, rebecca.

    • @jacobandersen6075
      @jacobandersen6075 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      Lol

    • @jdcv17
      @jdcv17 Pƙed 3 lety +6

      Rebecca... 😂

    • @prancingsquid
      @prancingsquid Pƙed 3 lety +2

      I fucking died 😂

    • @Zizipho_Ndayi
      @Zizipho_Ndayi Pƙed 3 lety +6

      Haha. Add in there: Just because you Rebecca don't have a rich internal world that needs to be enjoyed, doesn't mean none have.

    • @chipiturk90strend
      @chipiturk90strend Pƙed 3 lety +7

      Oh, you forgot the 'are you mad?' or the 'are you sad?'
      Just because I'm quiet, not having a smile, or having a nowhere stare doesn't mean i am mad or sad

  • @toric3798
    @toric3798 Pƙed 4 lety +2811

    This is why I prefer one on one interactions. I don't like feeling left out 😂😂

    • @Lorebeholder
      @Lorebeholder Pƙed 4 lety +9

      Do SeungMi mood

    • @delirium5381
      @delirium5381 Pƙed 4 lety +195

      I talk a lot when I'm in an one-on-one conversation with someone I've known for a long time.
      But then my mind goes blank when a third person comes in...And then they both ignore me and I just sit there. They temporarily forget I'm there. It's weird.

    • @hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195
      @hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195 Pƙed 4 lety +11

      Do SeungMi Yep. You can actually connect with a person 101, and jave some meaningfull converstaions

    • @TaxEvasi0n
      @TaxEvasi0n Pƙed 4 lety +25

      Do SeungMi I’ve always been for 1 on 1. I thought there was something off because of it. Not that there was something wrong with me, but something different. My mate always tells me I need to talk more when going out to a bar or club or something. But 99% of interactions are groups, and I’m just not really down. It works when someone’s trying to get something out of me, which is great. Otherwise, I do best 1 on 1.

    • @emilyl7226
      @emilyl7226 Pƙed 4 lety +44

      Yes! I always get disappointed when I find out meeting with someone will include a third or fourth person, because then I know I will just be sitting there listening instead of sharing.

  • @curlyb9710
    @curlyb9710 Pƙed 6 lety +4900

    I think all of this goes in addition to the “I’m holding on to my thought because they’re talking” and then the conversation does a 180 and your thought is irrelevant.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  Pƙed 6 lety +515

      Happens so many times

    • @sarahd6822
      @sarahd6822 Pƙed 6 lety +245

      Nicely put! This happens so often, and it unfortunately happens when I think of something funny or witty

    • @redarmy5894
      @redarmy5894 Pƙed 6 lety +139

      Yeah i find this happens to me a lot but i feel like its how confident on the subject thats being talked about i am. Sometimes i feel i dont know enough to have valuable input or i think i know to much but cant structure in the right way to get it across properly and then like you say conversation changes. Sometimes i think others no more and say nothing only to find out later on i knew as much as everbody else on the matter and should of just said it. If that makes any sense haha.

    • @curlyb9710
      @curlyb9710 Pƙed 6 lety +21

      wild linez 88 It makes total sense. I’m actually so surprised that more people think this way. It is all very true!

    • @urnotjonesy
      @urnotjonesy Pƙed 6 lety +3

      worst

  • @bloodrune329
    @bloodrune329 Pƙed 4 lety +320

    I feel like INFJs just try to match the energy in the room rather than make a statement for themselves and really individualize themselves from the rest of the crowd. One on one they absolutely will, but in a group they try so hard to fit in, they don’t make themselves as interesting as they really are.

    • @crochetqueen93
      @crochetqueen93 Pƙed 3 lety +48

      This is spot on. It's like when you're in a group you're scared of fully being yourself because it might be met with judgement, so you'd rather match the energy of the group to not feel like an outcast.

    • @clau6023
      @clau6023 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      @@crochetqueen93 yes exactly!!

    • @april2782
      @april2782 Pƙed 3 lety +7

      @@crochetqueen93 yeah when there is a group project I will get new ideas but when I try to express them I don't know but I feel odd in a group of normal people and when I try to fit in it makes me feel awkward and ends up being quiet

    • @amandatadros3212
      @amandatadros3212 Pƙed 3 lety +7

      Omg I never knew how to put that into words. You nailed it. I feel so uninteresting in groups and never realized that was a common INFJ problem haha.

    • @katie5998
      @katie5998 Pƙed 3 lety +10

      This is why I deeply admire people who can do that. I used to be the type of person who never said anything independent, or out of what I felt the energy of the room was, or what I viewed as embarrassing and awkward. But then I met people with, what I like to call, “rockstar energy” which is the type of energy that doesn’t give a shit. They’re unapologetically themselves, and that is a trait I work really hard now to possess because it really is so admirable that people can say what they’re thinking, even if I view it as embarrassing, and they stand with their views.
      Why I still get awkward, and I find myself occasionally matching energy (as it’s so easy to do) but if I want to say something that goes against the flow of conversation, I cna do so easily. I feel it offers different perspectives, and it helps conversation flow. Sometimes it takes one person to voice an opposing opinion, and then the whole group takes it into consideration, or someone who thought the same as you but felt they couldn’t voice it also can speak out and agree.

  • @araya9316
    @araya9316 Pƙed 4 lety +231

    “does she talk?” “i forgot she was even here!” 😅

    • @repulsethemonkey1396
      @repulsethemonkey1396 Pƙed 3 lety +22

      (Says something)
      "Omg you CAN/DO talk!"
      Very original..

    • @marcus813
      @marcus813 Pƙed 3 lety +9

      I relate to that a lot. Some people somehow think I'm a mute because I'm not truly a chatterbox.

    • @tokensharma3738
      @tokensharma3738 Pƙed 3 lety +3

      I have to say even if I don't want to just because I don't want that tag.

    • @pri3971
      @pri3971 Pƙed 3 lety

      It just pinch

    • @pspspspspspspssp
      @pspspspspspspssp Pƙed 3 lety +9

      'i forgot you were here' hurts so freaking much, i've heard it too many times😭

  • @missheath000
    @missheath000 Pƙed 4 lety +682

    Frank alone in his room overanalyzing why INFJs overanalyze things in great detail. Mood. Rofl.

  • @charlesprice925
    @charlesprice925 Pƙed 5 lety +2170

    From an older INFJ let me provide a little insight. First: you are now, and will always be, ahead of the curve, possibly as much as ten to fifteen years. Most won't get it. Don't worry about it. Don't bother to explain it. You'll see things come about and you will come to expect it. Second: you take in, formulate, and conclude life for a reason, so others will. Earlier in life you'll take in more than you put out. You're building a data base. All experiences matter and count. Later, your output will be more, while taking in and concluding more, faster, to a much greater extent, to the point of exhaustion. Be aware and take care. Take time to recover and replenish, avoid emotionally destructive people and cultures. Third: You're meant to pass through many peoples lives, some for a short time, a very few for a lifetime. You'll never be alone in your head. Sometimes you're presence and pretense alone will be enough. Other times, you may find yourself suddenly projected to center stage as the only one with a complete thought. Don't be stunned if the entire room is fixed on you and listening, as to be amazed. Just be calm and your database will deliver. Don't marvel at that position you are in. You're just the messenger. Pass it off. If people don't say anything. They're taking it in. They're not ignoring you. They're just speechless. Many more such times will come and you will be increasingly more comfortable with them, until you take them for granted, and forget them. Radically changing times are about to hemorrhage forth on humanity. Your part is critically important. Don't stress over it. It will all come naturally to you. You'll finally be in your element. Most people think they'll see an extraordinary view from the top of a summit, but you don't. You feel it. Good luck.

    • @jennymowery79
      @jennymowery79 Pƙed 5 lety +120

      Charles Price thank you so much I'm 39 just found out I'm infj I always just thought I was weird sometimes crazy and that I don't belong the advice you gave is priceless and so helpful I needed to hear the things you said and I'm now comfortable with myself and have been able to turn what I thought was negative and turn it into positive

    • @jenniferkeeponfighting7561
      @jenniferkeeponfighting7561 Pƙed 5 lety +66

      I love your wording

    • @rentalhubs
      @rentalhubs Pƙed 5 lety +95

      I'm writing this on a nice paper and saving it on my livingrooms wall💗 thank you

    • @scotth5237
      @scotth5237 Pƙed 5 lety +18

      Well said

    • @forlucidlovers
      @forlucidlovers Pƙed 5 lety +38

      Charles Price wow. I needed this.

  • @thirstwithoutborders995
    @thirstwithoutborders995 Pƙed 3 lety +208

    The most hurtful thing I have experienced in that direction is being forgotten, often. People don't remember me, that I was there are the lame party or dinner or whatever. While I remember their whole boring AF life story and that they hate onions, because they talked at me for a lifesucking hour. And then you don't remember my face or name or that I exist?
    I tried being louder and saying something about myself, so that they too have something to remember me by, but then I just feel more drained and embarrassed about having talked nonsense.

    • @jamesdouglas7345
      @jamesdouglas7345 Pƙed rokem

      Then there is the truth. The true infj witnesses a lot of truth twisting and should you gently remind someone theyre lying especially if its a very important reminder you will most likely be torn to shreds screamed at for quite some time and then hear alternate realities that are so far fetched theyre like 2 y/o making up stuff.

    • @AnaMaria.Nova9
      @AnaMaria.Nova9 Pƙed rokem +5

      Omg same , I am always forgotten .... T^T

    • @tommynobaka
      @tommynobaka Pƙed rokem +17

      for the longest time, this hurt me until I realized I had to mature and keep the people who do remember

    • @GeronimoStiltstom
      @GeronimoStiltstom Pƙed rokem +8

      @@tommynobaka this is the one.

    • @bernadettewilkie5996
      @bernadettewilkie5996 Pƙed rokem +9

      Hey boos,
      I'm seeing these comments. Hey guess what, you arent forgotten. Jesus is thinking about you all the time. You are always on His heart and He doesn't want to forget you. So remember this. K? Be happy, you are breathing. God is good. :)

  • @sensibilities1
    @sensibilities1 Pƙed 4 lety +400

    I’ve noticed that when I’m low on energy I don’t want/ like to socialize/talk to people that I feel requires me to exert a lot of energy or entertain them. Like sometimes I just want to chill without talking. And some people I feel like they can’t just chill without talking and it not be awkward. The awkwardness drains me

    • @jscorpio1987
      @jscorpio1987 Pƙed 3 lety +29

      In those situations, it's not you that's making the silence awkward. It's usually the person who doesn't understand the value of silence that makes it awkward.
      I don't really talk much unless I really have something to say and I've noticed when I'm around the few people who understand that, moments of silence are actually quite relaxing. It's only ever awkward when there's somebody around who's scared to death of going one second without flapping their lips and making sounds. Lol

    • @desmonides
      @desmonides Pƙed 3 lety +9

      I find that some people are so empty inside and have no inner world so that have to rely on other people to entertain them because they can only be bored when left to their own company. These type of people are very draining.

    • @drewreignbalan7470
      @drewreignbalan7470 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      that part right there

    • @kristinexxus3538
      @kristinexxus3538 Pƙed rokem +1

      Yeah, a friend of mine said we could hang out on the weekends (which I appreciate it’s nice) and I was like “sure sometime” but in my head I was not so positive about it because weekends are testing days from entertaining and socializing

  • @arabonara
    @arabonara Pƙed 5 lety +778

    Yes, I am quiet because I usually decide that expressing my opinion won't matter in the situation.

    • @niahpe8533
      @niahpe8533 Pƙed 5 lety +9

      so true

    • @lovelylovely0010
      @lovelylovely0010 Pƙed 5 lety

      Same.

    • @2002jennyfer
      @2002jennyfer Pƙed 5 lety +45

      Same, in most of the groups I've ever been I get ignored and even when I express my opinion they act like they didn't listen or actually listen to me but prefer ignoring what I say so I give up and choose to be quiet and being far away for the group I'm in, it's healthier for me.

    • @athaduzanjanitra6215
      @athaduzanjanitra6215 Pƙed 5 lety

      Indeed

    • @thegreatestislove8604
      @thegreatestislove8604 Pƙed 5 lety +27

      Jennifer Alondra Alcántara Lopez it’s probably because what you had to say was a nugget of wisdom and they didn’t understand so they chose to ignore it to save face in front of the others. Heavy truths work best one on one for sure so they can feel free to open up with you. It’s my big struggle. I hate surface level conversations I’m always wanting to go deep too fast

  • @MinMin-oe5od
    @MinMin-oe5od Pƙed 4 lety +848

    I'm mostly either the center of the conversation and my group or full on ignored.
    There's no in between.

    • @tadm123
      @tadm123 Pƙed 4 lety +23

      I'm at the middle. I like being part of a group where I can add to a conversation every now and then but not be either dominant or completely ignored. It's the perfect spot. I guess there's lots of variety within INFJ because I can't relate to this video at all either đŸ€·â€â™‚ïž

    • @ayylmao2410
      @ayylmao2410 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Yes

    • @sunflu
      @sunflu Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Yup yup yup 👍 that s me.

    • @sunflu
      @sunflu Pƙed 4 lety +8

      tadm123 I can do what u mentioned there. But I m aware that I m enjoying the conversation but am kind of faking it to keep the conversation going. Hence the next time I might be put in that situation, I try to find a corner of my own. The perfect place for me in a party will be the kitchen. Maybe that s why I become a good cook.

    • @Ashutosh_Mahajan
      @Ashutosh_Mahajan Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Exactly

  • @Neimykanani
    @Neimykanani Pƙed 4 lety +125

    The funniest thing my professor told me: “You’re so quiet, you’re like a little Buddha!”

    • @NADA-ok2ce
      @NADA-ok2ce Pƙed rokem +3

      I’ve been called Yoda 😂

  • @bookgawddess6576
    @bookgawddess6576 Pƙed 4 lety +244

    I’ve gotten so used to the “fade” that when I’m in a group conversation and the main talker looks at me I freak out a little because I look at everything, body language and etc and it’s even awkwarder if the person said something funny and they look at me because I’m not laughing just to see me looking at them like 👁 👄 👁 and then I plaster a weird smile on my face đŸ€ŠđŸŸâ€â™€ïž. That mostly happens when I don’t really know the person but it’s awkward af 😭😭😭 (sorry if that didn’t make any sense 😂)

    • @ariadnarivas260
      @ariadnarivas260 Pƙed 4 lety +18

      OMG, YOU JUST DESCRIBED ME SO WELL, DAMN.

    • @pamv7765
      @pamv7765 Pƙed 3 lety +5

      This is exactly how I feel in such a situation. It really helps for me when I know/have talked one on one with the 'talker' of the group before because then I feel like I 'dare' to reciprocate more, but if not it's just a very awkward moment😅

    • @ilianam453
      @ilianam453 Pƙed 3 lety +16

      Looool, I have to force a look of comfort on my face in social situations even when I feel just fine because I'm so busy quietly observing but apparently my resting face looks sad or angry to others.

    • @clau6023
      @clau6023 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      lmao same

    • @clau6023
      @clau6023 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      @@ilianam453 so true. my friends can be laughing and making jokes that i usually also would laugh at but at that moment i just don't feel like engaging or i just forget that i'm visible almost. oh i must look so angry when in reality i'm not at all

  • @glenbopa
    @glenbopa Pƙed 4 lety +679

    I like being mysterious.
    When I finally say something,
    It has a bigger impact.

    • @thomasbarton1050
      @thomasbarton1050 Pƙed 4 lety

      Laconic

    • @escarlit
      @escarlit Pƙed 4 lety +36

      this is nice, but it also means everyone's suddenly hanging off your every word. then you feel it.

    • @hv3079
      @hv3079 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Facts

    • @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983
      @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 Pƙed 4 lety +40

      YES 😂
      That can kind of suck though, for instance;
      My family was talking about how much they dislike when spaghetti noodles clump together while cooking, I pipped up and said that I didn't mind it when that happened.
      Literally for months after that, whenever we would eat spaghetti (at least once a week) my family would go out of their way to make sure that all of the noodles that clumped together were given to me. They thought that just because I said that I didn't mind something, that meant that I LOVED it. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I didn't really care, that is until my little sister stated that she prefers clumped noodles. Then I told them. 😂
      Things like that happen to me quite often. 😐
      P.S. I know that was an odd analogy, but I am typing this at five in the morning 😂

    • @VijayaLakshmi-wq3bc
      @VijayaLakshmi-wq3bc Pƙed 3 lety +2

      @@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 😂😂😂

  • @withlovesophiex
    @withlovesophiex Pƙed 4 lety +572

    My constantly changing extraversion and introversion confuses people I think. One day I'll be so chatty, then exhausted and then the next day I'll hide away to preserve my energy.

    • @nithinram8262
      @nithinram8262 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Hi Sophie.. Am an infj.. Can we know each other? 🙂

    • @r3dak73d-6
      @r3dak73d-6 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      Introversion and extraversion have nothing to do with level of interest in social situations. INFJs are extraverted feelers second, meaning we pick up on the energy of everybody else and we pay a lot of attention to the harmony of the group and don't like it.
      Being introverted simply means you get drained being around people and need to recharge with alone time. Extraversion is the opposite: go out and see people to get energy and recharge alone. If you're feeling amped up by a conversation it's because it keys into your interests and we never really get to connect with people on that abstract empathetic level.

    • @ARichardP
      @ARichardP Pƙed 4 lety +1

      I’m like that too. It has to be confusing for others.

    • @mickey099
      @mickey099 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      nithin ram now she needs her space lol

    • @metalmayfantasy
      @metalmayfantasy Pƙed 4 lety +2

      I think so too, I can definitely see how it is very confusing and causes people to wonder who exactly I am.

  • @rachelwalden8838
    @rachelwalden8838 Pƙed 2 lety +39

    Yes! Love this quote I saw in a meme “My favorite type of people: when you’re telling a story and everyone’s talking over you, but one person makes direct eye contact with you and pays extra attention so you don’t get discouraged.â€đŸ„°

    • @faithworks217
      @faithworks217 Pƙed rokem +8

      I'm often that person. Knowing how it feels, I make a point of paying attention to people who are standing by themselves or trying to tell a story and nobody is listening. They tend to be quite interesting.

    • @MarciaCamara
      @MarciaCamara Pƙed rokem +1

      @@faithworks217 , same here!

  • @OnlyMusic16
    @OnlyMusic16 Pƙed 4 lety +69

    I have NEVER had someone so perfectly articulate the exact complex of how isolated and unapproachable I've felt my entire life. Seriously informative and strangely comforting, thank you

  • @kayliebrown744
    @kayliebrown744 Pƙed 4 lety +979

    why am I crying. this is accurate. I need INFJ friends.

    • @amberstale2628
      @amberstale2628 Pƙed 4 lety +116

      Me: trying to look for friends by joining a chat group.
      Aleo me: (Quitely reading their convos) Doesn't want to talk or partake in their conversations.

    • @catrau946
      @catrau946 Pƙed 4 lety +39

      Kaylie, have u just recently learned you are an INFJ? I only ask because I had the same reaction when I first found out there was a whole group of others with my personality quirks and who are just as complicated as I have always been. Finding this community has truly been a blessing. So cry, because I think your tears are tears of relief and comfort. 💕💕

    • @Biafromars
      @Biafromars Pƙed 4 lety +85

      Expectation: let us all become INFJ friends and talk to each other
      Reality: we just stare and analyze but never really talk lol

    • @ikram6245
      @ikram6245 Pƙed 4 lety +34

      If you're an INFJ it wouldn't be cool to have INFJ friends. Who would do the talking ?

    • @UnstableEvil
      @UnstableEvil Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Are you INFJ?

  • @kennandunn7533
    @kennandunn7533 Pƙed 4 lety +527

    "I've mastered the skill of standing so incredibly still that I become invisible to the eye."
    Drax The Destroyer - 2017

    • @CreativelyAligned
      @CreativelyAligned Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Kennan Dunn 😂😂😂😂

    • @IsleNaK
      @IsleNaK Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Actually had that happen to me....

    • @kennandunn7533
      @kennandunn7533 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      @@IsleNaK I'm an INTJ and it happens to me all the time.

    • @yvonnecampbell7036
      @yvonnecampbell7036 Pƙed 4 lety +10

      When I used to go shopping with my mom people were always startled when I got up to leave. They thought I was one of the mannequins XD.

    • @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983
      @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      That reminds me of something that a character from the book series *The Ranger's Apprentice* (highly recommend) would say 😂

  • @froeloe
    @froeloe Pƙed 3 lety +74

    In today’s society, there’s too much noise-in social media, in real life, in the work place, etc. Too many people babble a lot of things. INFJs filter the tumult and get down to the core of things. Someone has to do the observing when everyone’s so busy and focused on their everyday gabble. Many people talk. Some may hear. But only a few listen.

    • @froeloe
      @froeloe Pƙed rokem

      @bjjcfhklhtdx how do i keep them up?
      uhm
 by not deleting them? 🙃

  • @farabistudios5555
    @farabistudios5555 Pƙed 4 lety +72

    I'm an INFJ... But I've created an alter ego whenever I'm around people... Now i can talk to people... But sometimes it's really not that great...

    • @april2782
      @april2782 Pƙed 3 lety +5

      Yeah I too do it to make myself feel better but it always ends up with a big awkward silence

    • @dbrooke3629
      @dbrooke3629 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      I have to do that at my work and I'm absolutely drained by the end of the day.

    • @farabistudios5555
      @farabistudios5555 Pƙed 3 lety +3

      @@dbrooke3629 relatable brother

    • @AnityC
      @AnityC Pƙed 2 lety

      @@dbrooke3629 This reminds me of the time I started behaving and talking through an alter ego, because I thought I shoudln't be seen as an introvert in that particular work field. Obviously, very bad idea, many misunderstandings and my boss would perceive every serious point I tried to make as me being sarcrastic. That's when I learned that being extroverted is not a goal even if society in many parts of the world makes it out to be a strength in contrast to introvertedness.

  • @se7enofnein
    @se7enofnein Pƙed 6 lety +435

    I don’t like to talk. I don’t like small-talk because if I speak to fill in silence I feel like I’m saying stupid things. I would rather speak to enlighten, comfort or humor someone. Which, I feel, even then is not often... I prefer reading or writing to speaking.

    • @Hannahsummer
      @Hannahsummer Pƙed 5 lety +19

      Mindy Sioux I feel the same, but when the silences get too awkward in discussions I feel compelled to speak up and end up saying stupid things because I haven’t had a chance to develop any meaningful and insightful ideas yet. That has just made me hate small talk even more

    • @brittanyATL
      @brittanyATL Pƙed 5 lety +2

      Very nicely put.

    • @coffeekissesxoxo6009
      @coffeekissesxoxo6009 Pƙed 5 lety

      Same prefer writing to speaking omg then people who dont understand think you are ignoring them or dont like them. Lol no. Just awkward.

    • @jackiej8082
      @jackiej8082 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      I don't like small talk because it forces me to move my lips to someone I don't even care for. I know it sounds harsh, I'm not a mean person but trying to work up a conversation as an INFJ is extremely tiring and sometimes it feels like something's lodged into my throat so I cant even speak.

    • @shurooqallawati4200
      @shurooqallawati4200 Pƙed 5 lety

      Yes exactly!

  • @alwaysanabel4798
    @alwaysanabel4798 Pƙed 4 lety +449

    I always felt like I didnt fit anywhere. Then when I took the personality test I got an INFJ. It explained everything lol.

    • @wintersstar5830
      @wintersstar5830 Pƙed 4 lety +19

      When I took the test and saw INFJ I was like "now all of it makes perfect sense."

    • @wollahmeh8823
      @wollahmeh8823 Pƙed 4 lety +5

      Winters Star58 i took the test, got infj, thought Nah that aint me, looked at all other introverted personalities, didnt really fit me either (except infp but im more of a planner than a i’ll do it sometimes person) so i watched some infj vids (a lot tbh) and i started to understand and relate to a things more and more. Still i think im lying to myself and my brain is telling me that i must be special. And now idk anymore if im lying to myself and im at the point that i cant trust and believe myself anymore and it hurts me a lot. I guess im just an introvert. Nothing more, nothing less, just an ixxx-x

    • @onemuckypup9823
      @onemuckypup9823 Pƙed 4 lety

      I totally understand - exactly what happened to me!

    • @wollahmeh8823
      @wollahmeh8823 Pƙed 4 lety

      Alexander Supertramp i know but both cognitive functions and mbti are inaccurate, so that means theres no real way of knowing your type.....

    • @qaffqahhaar9380
      @qaffqahhaar9380 Pƙed 4 lety

      Ikr, that feeling like we are missing something even when everything is complete. Feeling alone.

  • @shayla_lesk1542
    @shayla_lesk1542 Pƙed 3 lety +84

    I’ve got an issue because I’m an INFJ and all of my friends are very very quiet introverts. So I constantly feel like I have to start the conversation, continue the conversation, and say something worth-while, because otherwise no one talks... EVER. That’s why I always gravitate towards my extroverted friends. I’m an energy absorber, a listener, I can’t create energy as well as other people. So yeah, my introverted friends actually drain me WAY more than my extroverted friends. Does this happen to anyone else, or just me?

    • @animelvr99
      @animelvr99 Pƙed 2 lety +7

      That's running into the situation that you are ironically the extrovert in your introvert friend group and that takes a toll on your energy on an introvert. It's a double edge sword. It's funny if you get enough introverts in one room, the scale shifts on who is more introverted and extroverted.
      But the big issue is that the friends are not reciprocating the energy back to you in that friendship.

    • @carissahill3414
      @carissahill3414 Pƙed 2 lety +2

      Social interactions are definitely interesting. Maybe it is because I am an ENFP but no matter if I am with a group of introverted friends or extraverted friends, I will change up my behavior *if* I feel like expectations are being put on me. So it could be the case that since you always start the conversation, continue the conversation because otherwise no one talks... it could be that they EXPECT you to do it now. We humans are trained FAST. Social interactions for me are testing how well I am on my toes to make sure minimal expectations are placed on me. Essentially I don't want the *expected* responsibility. I will take the responsibiility at times but also sit in the golden silence and let things progress as if I was not there. I suppose what I am trying to say is: It is important to consciously be aware of how you are unconsciously or subconsciously training people to interact with you.

    • @carissahill3414
      @carissahill3414 Pƙed 2 lety

      There is also training people that you will NOT speak up too.

    • @tamannatazz5800
      @tamannatazz5800 Pƙed 2 lety

      Yes,it happened with me.

    • @cindytran5628
      @cindytran5628 Pƙed 8 dny

      Omg yes this has happened to me I’d rather hang out with my extroverted friends because it’s less draining than introverted friends that just sit there and expect us to initiate and carry on the conversation the whole time. I tend to get along more with extroverts even though I’m not extroverted like them.

  • @infectedcontactlensyes.5172
    @infectedcontactlensyes.5172 Pƙed 4 lety +71

    I'm scared at how accurate this is, I feel like I'm reading versions of me in the comments. I have an interest in mysterious personalities and my family sees me like that but at school, I talk and somehow frick it all up.

    • @edlinnaurah
      @edlinnaurah Pƙed 3 lety +2

      ikr its so accurate to the point i thought of ''are you me?''

  • @Robert-dt3is
    @Robert-dt3is Pƙed 5 lety +346

    “INFJ’s are the most extroverted of the introverts”. Dang never thought about it like that. So true.

    • @harrisonbaylor1432
      @harrisonbaylor1432 Pƙed 4 lety +47

      Robert I knew this one lol. Every time I’m with other introverts in public I always feel like I have to be the “leader” of the group. Rather it be starting conversations or making decisions like where to eat or whatever.

    • @TempestGarden
      @TempestGarden Pƙed 4 lety +10

      @@harrisonbaylor1432 LOL I am the exact same way. I always feel like the least awkward of all the introverts in the group, even though I can feel awkward in social situations sometimes.

    • @tigerex777
      @tigerex777 Pƙed 4 lety +14

      People always confuse me as an extrovert. That's only because my extroverted side comes out to match the mood of the situation. I'm more a blender and match'er.

    • @dafaazka102
      @dafaazka102 Pƙed 4 lety

      @@tigerex777 yes you are

    • @anne-bn7up
      @anne-bn7up Pƙed 4 lety

      YES SO TRUE RIGHT!

  • @regularity2556
    @regularity2556 Pƙed 5 lety +757

    You know what bothers me. People constantly asking me if I'm okay.
    Whyyyy???? Makes me so uncomfortable, and even if I was perfectly fine, I start to wonder if I am really o.k., do I look weird

    • @beabea3121
      @beabea3121 Pƙed 5 lety +18

      Yesss same here.😒

    • @semaceren8166
      @semaceren8166 Pƙed 4 lety +66

      dude cause we have a bitch face like all the time.

    • @HeatherElise85
      @HeatherElise85 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Same!

    • @AyanaSioux
      @AyanaSioux Pƙed 4 lety +27

      When I'm in thought, I look angry, lol. People ask me this all the time, every single day, even at work, lol. I'm almost always okay though, lol.

    • @winstonchurchill624
      @winstonchurchill624 Pƙed 4 lety

      Regularity I thought that was normal

  • @adelkhisamova7582
    @adelkhisamova7582 Pƙed 3 lety +31

    Them: We need more listeners!
    Also them: Why aren't you talking?

  • @ImallamaToo
    @ImallamaToo Pƙed rokem +10

    I had an older woman at church tell me years ago that I was a very "solemn" person. Only someone who doesn't really know me well would think that. I'm very particular who I let into my personal space. A lot of people make a judgment call on INFJs without realizing we care very deeply - too much sometimes. It drains me to share myself with others. I have a very active inner mental life, and don't feel the need to share every thought that I have. I'm in my mid 50s now, and am comfortable with who I am, and being introverted - you learn it's ok to be an observer of humanity, and share what's truly meaningful.

  • @HistoiresdefouCarolineHenry
    @HistoiresdefouCarolineHenry Pƙed 5 lety +662

    “You’re impossible to figure out its so mysterious and sexy “
    1 month later : “ You’re just weird I can’t figure you out it’s so frustrating I’m done with you!”
    đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

    • @thegreatestislove8604
      @thegreatestislove8604 Pƙed 5 lety +7

      Ha! So true

    • @connie2286
      @connie2286 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Histoires de fou Caroline Henry đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł True !!!

    • @favouraffi424
      @favouraffi424 Pƙed 4 lety +5

      Always. Story of my life. Even right now as I type this😂😂😂😂

    • @TokioTE
      @TokioTE Pƙed 4 lety +2

      😂

    • @iamrhomeo
      @iamrhomeo Pƙed 4 lety +5

      Soooo true smh... like it then it becomes 'too much'

  • @stupid_flannel_gal9046
    @stupid_flannel_gal9046 Pƙed 4 lety +479

    I feel like since the INFJ’s are so intuitive and blend in makes us more prone to anxiety and possibly depression? Because has anyone else just listened and thought about others conversations and heard like a little cue to join in but don’t, and then you get ignored? And then you wonder what would have happened if you joined in,and then overload yourself...and then just break down. Being an INFJ is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
    Edit - over 100 likes?!? Lol wow that’s the most I’ve gotten, thank you :)

    • @gotyahoneycomb3500
      @gotyahoneycomb3500 Pƙed 4 lety +19

      absolutely right ! i got depression but feared to tell my family about it, then it got worse pondering if it's okay to reach for help, what if this is not a depression but kinda an illusion, what will they think...anddddd turned out i got depression, bad performances at school, broken relationships, then I told my family and got them taken aback

    • @vanpassiflora4357
      @vanpassiflora4357 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Agreed :)

    • @hv3079
      @hv3079 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      WORDDD

    • @kimayajadhav5566
      @kimayajadhav5566 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      so relatable

    • @ariadnarivas260
      @ariadnarivas260 Pƙed 4 lety

      This.

  • @dianachua8410
    @dianachua8410 Pƙed 3 lety +63

    Other than unreadable, I was called creepy 😂 I was eating with a bunch of classmates while they converse . To me it felt like I was present all Long and just listening but they seem to forgot I was there and when I blurted out my thoughts regarding the topic while I was eating they were shocked that I was even ‘in’ the conversation to begin with 😂

    • @yokkabai
      @yokkabai Pƙed 2 lety +7

      It’s like just because our mouth isn’t running non stop doesn’t mean we can’t hear or aren’t considering the topic - we are often just intently listening and considering what others say. ^_^
      Also - on a completely different note - when I read your comment I missed reading the word “with” at first - lol -

    • @annatetiad.4991
      @annatetiad.4991 Pƙed rokem

      Creepy is because INFJs are masters at reading people - sometimes just sitting there and observing. We can see right through people, and they forget we are there...so people say things with their guard down., and often spill their darkest secrets.

    • @faithworks217
      @faithworks217 Pƙed rokem

      @@yokkabai Lol!

    • @lobalee1873
      @lobalee1873 Pƙed 9 měsĂ­ci

      I think it's very easy for INFJs to get mislabeled as creepy because of the way we observe. 😂

  • @LindaCutshaw
    @LindaCutshaw Pƙed 3 lety +15

    Strangest thing is after being ignored/treated as being invisible, I tend to go silent and boy does this get their attention!

  • @bonnieirvin5793
    @bonnieirvin5793 Pƙed 6 lety +314

    Sometimes by the time I've processed an opinion on a topic and want to respond, someone in the group has already switched the conversation.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  Pƙed 6 lety +29

      Yup, been there done that XD

    • @persko_draws
      @persko_draws Pƙed 5 lety +3

      haha so TRUE

    • @ladyevil64
      @ladyevil64 Pƙed 5 lety +3

      Definitely this! I have had people bulldoze over me talking, and insert themselves between me and the person I'm talking to (unfortunately, it's usually a woman.)

    • @Iivinginfiction
      @Iivinginfiction Pƙed 5 lety

      yeah.. im like ok.

    • @cagneychick182
      @cagneychick182 Pƙed 5 lety +3

      I've been told that I'm always two steps behind or two steps ahead in a conversation, but I'm never instep in the conversation. It was one of the best observations anyone has ever actually told me about myself.

  • @lovestehloz
    @lovestehloz Pƙed 4 lety +413

    I just like how all the comments on this video are well thought out comments that are written pretty well because we’re all INFJs haha. Grammar ftw

    • @ssboschky
      @ssboschky Pƙed 4 lety +9

      Haha. I didn't even notice until now. That said, I was an infj a long time ago and have changed alot.

    • @nina10d
      @nina10d Pƙed 4 lety +3

      I noticed that too! Haha 😂 Feels weird but also satisfying at the same time!

    • @TaxEvasi0n
      @TaxEvasi0n Pƙed 4 lety +40

      Probably took everyone 3 times longer to get it right, and proof read 5 times until it made no sense. And that’s when we know it’s time to post.

    • @ikram6245
      @ikram6245 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      @@TaxEvasi0n I do agree with everything but the last part; and that's when I know it's better to just delete the comment and go on.

    • @russell1206
      @russell1206 Pƙed 4 lety

      Lol that's so true

  • @sashimi1519
    @sashimi1519 Pƙed rokem +22

    As a young INFJ, I'm still dealing with the social scene in school. I have always been an overachiever, and I have found myself to be well-known at my school. Despite this, I feel isolated from my peers. I have countless acquaintances, but I am not firmly "in" any friend groups. I have attempted joining and forming friend groups, but usually I find the other members getting closer and closer while I gradually fall behind. I had almost accepted that scaring people off would be inevitable for me, but hearing that others may just not understand how to interact with me opens my eyes to possible explanation and thankfully another stepping stone I can use to overcome my issue.

    • @lobalee1873
      @lobalee1873 Pƙed 9 měsĂ­ci +1

      Sometimes being an INFJ can feel isolating because so few people think like you, but don't worry, it will work out! You'll find like-minded people or in the least, people who like your weirdness and appreciate you. It gets better as you get older, I think.

  • @zetha.3419
    @zetha.3419 Pƙed 3 lety +17

    All these years i hated myself for being "me". I already have categorized myself as "weird" because i just can't fit in on most social groups, only to find out now that INFJ personality really exist.
    I'm having a marathon of your videos lately & I'm discovering a lot. It's like having a friend who doesn't know me personally but understands me completely.

  • @pamelam4
    @pamelam4 Pƙed 6 lety +737

    I often find that I could be talking to people and mid sentence they suddenly start talking or walk away - it's almost like they didn't hear me even though I was speaking clearly. I feel like as an INFJ I get interrupted a lot and people just don't pay attention to me.

    • @meagiesmuse2334
      @meagiesmuse2334 Pƙed 6 lety +133

      pamela 4- Yes, Yes and Yes!!! And I often have to interrupt them just to get a word in edgewise. They will go on and on about some tiny problem I would not even notice, when I know they are well aware that I have really serious problems, but they will never even ask how I am doing, and then claim that they "love" me. I am sick of it. I feel like we INFJs are push-pull toys when it comes to other people.

    • @domedweller4202
      @domedweller4202 Pƙed 6 lety +16

      pamelam4 I can relate to that.💕

    • @seapearltoo1
      @seapearltoo1 Pƙed 6 lety +95

      OMG Yes!!! This is so annoying and frustrating. i find that i get interrupted also when i am in the middle of a conversation with someone, as if i am not even there!

    • @annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239
      @annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239 Pƙed 6 lety +9

      pamelam4 I feel you on that 😐

    • @FreyaGem
      @FreyaGem Pƙed 6 lety +95

      ultimate pet peeve, and people don’t understand how disrespected that can make someone feel to be interrupted mid sentence over and over again.

  • @lexeeylore191
    @lexeeylore191 Pƙed 6 lety +247

    I fade voluntary
    me in every social events: stay silent and judge everyone else while controlling the urge to go home and sleep

    • @nadejdakopanova415
      @nadejdakopanova415 Pƙed 5 lety +4

      LOL so true!

    • @RegencyLady-ho2ik
      @RegencyLady-ho2ik Pƙed 5 lety +7

      Well I've said things in groups but it's like I've not said anything at all. So I always step back and leave after that. They never notice I have left.

    • @nobleneckbeard7356
      @nobleneckbeard7356 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      😂

    • @PurePlantPotions
      @PurePlantPotions Pƙed 5 lety +7

      Agree. But I need at least 3 hours to process all of it before I can rest. Ugh.

    • @metabutch
      @metabutch Pƙed 4 lety

      OMG! That is so true LOL...

  • @debrathomson6524
    @debrathomson6524 Pƙed 4 lety +47

    This is so helpful. I’m an ENFP and my lovely daughter is an INFJ. She often questions why she is invisible and ignored by others. I’ll be sharing your video with her. I know she will find it food for thought and maybe even answer that life long question. Thanks.

  • @sabinab2887
    @sabinab2887 Pƙed 3 lety +15

    I never knew this had to do with my personality type! Whenever I’m with others, whether it’s 2 people or a party I tend to “distance” myself and listen to what everyone is saying but I’m stuck in my head thinking “why is no one noticing me.”

  • @kanishkasharma6178
    @kanishkasharma6178 Pƙed 5 lety +334

    Just an INFJ wanting a friend to understand me wholly.

  • @debbiesmith8248
    @debbiesmith8248 Pƙed 5 lety +320

    We don't have to ask someone loads of questions to learn about that person. We find out everything that we need to know by watching and listening.

    • @jojom1871
      @jojom1871 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      So true

    • @hannahgill3517
      @hannahgill3517 Pƙed 4 lety

      Exactly

    • @luciem5372
      @luciem5372 Pƙed 4 lety +5

      Yes give an extrovert some time and he'll tell you everything you need to know. Especially men trying to impress you ha ha

    • @marlo2919
      @marlo2919 Pƙed 4 lety

      Yes, that is exactly what I always say lol

    • @sonja7halcyon
      @sonja7halcyon Pƙed 4 lety +4

      Debbie Smith not always true.. sometimes an illusion! You make a decision in your own head about who that person is based on what you hear and observe, but that’s filtered through your own mental state and belief system.. granted some people are so transparent but your perception is not a clean slate it’s always filtered through your own beliefs and experiences, therefore you can never really have the full truth about someone. It’s actually impossible if you really think about it, and possibly narcissistic to think you could..!

  • @nlb1138
    @nlb1138 Pƙed 4 lety +17

    "does it matter if I express my opinion here" is so true--and also because I never want people to think I'm full of myself so I rarely talk about myself out "in the world"

  • @sakshibhatnagar4736
    @sakshibhatnagar4736 Pƙed 3 lety +13

    Being an INFJ, it is so relatable and been got over with being ignored, I found out myself thinking about some murder conspiracy 😂

  • @jamesbanks4606
    @jamesbanks4606 Pƙed 5 lety +460

    Infj are extremely old souls. We have been their done that

    • @sarcadistic9762
      @sarcadistic9762 Pƙed 5 lety +27

      Ironically, when I joined an old soul community on facebook, I just cringed at all the drama, left and never looked back.

    • @ailliii
      @ailliii Pƙed 5 lety +4

      James Banks i don't agree with you, as i can't say that i'm (in my case) an old soul at all. I feel more like i'll always be 18 and i'm almost 20 and it doesn't seem to change. I respect your opinion tho cause i know a lot of infjs may be like that

    • @opaldeadventureersubscribe7825
      @opaldeadventureersubscribe7825 Pƙed 5 lety +19

      @@sarcadistic9762 well the thing about old soul communities on Facebook is that they are normally full of people who think they are an old soul but technically they are immature and far from being an old soul... just understand that most people don't know who they actually are, it's more so a fake painted picture of themselves.

    • @AyanaSioux
      @AyanaSioux Pƙed 4 lety +4

      @@opaldeadventureersubscribe7825 omg, I think this all the time. People will claim they know something about themselves and I'm looking at then like... that's not what i see but hey đŸ€·đŸŸâ€â™€ïž i try not to question their integrity too hard but enough to hopefully trigger some introspection.

    • @chemtrooper
      @chemtrooper Pƙed 4 lety +6

      I don’t consider myself an old soul now. Maybe I will in another life. However I am attracted to legitimate old souls and love to hear their insights and opinions. I may have come across two or three people in my current lifetime who I would consider old souls and they tend to talk a lot. Like they have finally become ripened fruit and have a lot of knowledge to share. I’m not near that level yet. I feel I have one or two important things to learn and experience in this life and if I have done well in my life studies and test then I will “graduate “ to the next life, take on a new form, and learn whatever lessons the cosmos have planned for me then. I have come into contact with people who share the same spirit as others that I have known in my life. This is an interesting discovery that I think on a lot now.

  • @stephaniezaahl8354
    @stephaniezaahl8354 Pƙed 4 lety +395

    I sometimes ask and answer the questions in my mind before asking

    • @vsatonthebeat4101
      @vsatonthebeat4101 Pƙed 4 lety +20

      Especially when texting

    • @icha5391
      @icha5391 Pƙed 4 lety +16

      So true lol it's like I imagine and made my own scenario before talking

    • @rosabscura
      @rosabscura Pƙed 3 lety +6

      Yeessss.. but sometimes I accidentally ask the question out loud and have to deal with others giving me the answer too >.>

    • @clau6023
      @clau6023 Pƙed 3 lety +3

      yes always

    • @nimisha6584
      @nimisha6584 Pƙed 3 lety

      Absolutely! I just answer it in my head.

  • @kristinharbison1358
    @kristinharbison1358 Pƙed 3 lety +9

    As a person that has always had a hard time understanding herself, this was a large relief to see that I'm not the only one to feel this way. I can't even begin to guess how many meltdowns I've had while wondering what was wrong with me, when I would think others didn't like me. I've always said the same, "Why say something if I don't have anything to say".

  • @CC-pu6qn
    @CC-pu6qn Pƙed 3 lety +7

    We don’t like to be fake. We like to be understood on a deep level. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I am unreadable and stoic. I do not like it because we are just more emotional reserved. I like to call it emotionally mature. Other personalities I think overly share. INFJs are not socially needy and actually get more attention for being mysterious. I have had people literally try to come and drain my peace, jealous of my reserve demeanor and stability.

  • @floridasingularity3700
    @floridasingularity3700 Pƙed 6 lety +475

    Great insight. I think we fade because it's too much energy to maintain. Everyone tries to out talk each other. No one wants to listen.

    • @evegreenification
      @evegreenification Pƙed 6 lety +38

      Exactly. The amount of energy it would take to put something articulate and interesting out there is far greater than the effort it feels like other people will make in caring about it, following up on it or asking you to expand on it, so what's the point? Feels like it will be more fruitful to listen and gain insight quietly.

    • @crystalgorrondona4483
      @crystalgorrondona4483 Pƙed 6 lety

      Amen

    • @annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239
      @annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239 Pƙed 6 lety +1

      Florida Singularity omg, yeah, that gets so frustrating sometimes.

    • @lauram326
      @lauram326 Pƙed 6 lety +1

      Florida Singularity Yessss.. This!!!

    • @JonawiNg
      @JonawiNg Pƙed 6 lety +2

      I agree to this so bad. An acquaintance of mine called me boring since i wouldn't try to out talk them and would rather listen and process all that may be useful for me

  • @9THLVL
    @9THLVL Pƙed 4 lety +133

    "We don't have a lot of best friends DO WE" 😂

    • @nadinali2417
      @nadinali2417 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      i felt that, but i am lucky to have an INFJ best friend.

    • @trig.destiny2640
      @trig.destiny2640 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      I dont know what the criteria is to decide who best friends are.......

  • @silent_cipher9308
    @silent_cipher9308 Pƙed 3 lety +6

    My mom is a very extroverted person. She always wants to me talk to people. When I try they pretend I'm not there because I don't speak up. EVEN WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK UP they ignore me. Then my mother asks me if I spoke to them and I have to be honest, I say no. Anddd shes disappointed in me.

  • @jennaasmr1
    @jennaasmr1 Pƙed 3 lety +8

    I have literally never related to a group of people more than the infj community on CZcams đŸ€Ł it blows my mind

  • @rozzischen
    @rozzischen Pƙed 4 lety +231

    INFJ's are the rarest because we are blessed with our intutition and sixth sense. We struggle to adapt in an extroverted world, but once we master our extroverted side, we become very powerful. We are capable of changing the world around us.

  • @LinYouToo
    @LinYouToo Pƙed 4 lety +357

    Them: “ why aren’t you talking?”
    Me: do you want me to communicate?
    Them: yes!
    Me: I am. I’m listening. 😁

    • @joanadams7014
      @joanadams7014 Pƙed 4 lety +8

      LinYouToo SO TRUE! lol I thought I was the only one who went through this

    • @Serai201
      @Serai201 Pƙed 4 lety

      I don't know how many times people have been so mad with my saying that statement😂😂😂😂

    • @hellcat66able
      @hellcat66able Pƙed 4 lety +7

      Listening isn't communicating. You have to talk as well as listen. Otherwise the other person might as well be talking to a brick wall, even if all they want is a little grunt or a yeah to let them know you're listening.

    • @IamnikkF
      @IamnikkF Pƙed 4 lety

      This is me at work!

    • @frijolescrnbrd
      @frijolescrnbrd Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Sometimes when I don’t talk people think there is something wrong. They’re like... why are you so quiet? I think sometimes I’d rather just observe, still participate but I don’t have to talk all the time. Sometimes it’s nicer to listen.

  • @DarkLordGanondorf190
    @DarkLordGanondorf190 Pƙed 3 lety +15

    I once participated in a city quiz the university organized for us "to get to know our fellow students". I had never met the girls in the group before, but I thought: Yeah, that could be fun. The thing was that they gradually excluded me and ignored my input. At one point, I was literally pointing them to the next clue while they were standing closer together debating where the next clue might be and then one of them pointed and yelled: Oh look, there it is! That was when I completely signed off and only followed them around to get it over with.

    • @jmeeksjr.7318
      @jmeeksjr.7318 Pƙed 2 lety +2

      I don’t even get why people treat me like this

    • @faithworks217
      @faithworks217 Pƙed rokem

      @@jmeeksjr.7318 They are self-centred and shallow.

  • @amberelltex3056
    @amberelltex3056 Pƙed rokem +4

    I feel like I'm invisible until someone remembers a skill I have and wants to take advantage of it. Even my family only calls when they need a recipe or something. I've gotten to the same point where I just really don't bother trying to talk to people because I know they don't really care what I have to say.

  • @j.a.1599
    @j.a.1599 Pƙed 6 lety +224

    Definitely was not out on a limb. I just wanna say I love you other INFJ's. I haven't met others like us, and it sucks. I'm glad I'm not alone

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  Pƙed 6 lety +13

      I love you too, man!

    • @persko_draws
      @persko_draws Pƙed 5 lety

      Me too:((((

    • @krystle8534
      @krystle8534 Pƙed 5 lety

    • @sfxmong5988
      @sfxmong5988 Pƙed 5 lety

      I met INFJs in the internet. Funny how we clicked and then I ask if she's INFJ and then I was right. Too bad I don't have another INFJ near me, I asked my nephews and nieces to test their types. I am most comfortable with my INFP nephew but there are a lot of times he forgets his goals and sometimes frustrates me, but I try to put him back on track so he won't lose his dreams.

    • @nilla1045
      @nilla1045 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      you made me tear up. Sometimes I feel so misunderstood and don’t know what to do, but I’m just 20, so I hope it’ll get better. Have a good day❀

  • @alfihanifahprameswari4997
    @alfihanifahprameswari4997 Pƙed 5 lety +177

    As an INFJ, whenever I watch your videos, reading those comments in your video, I feel like "finally there's someone who understands me, especially my situation, without the need to explain those things. Thank you so much :")

    • @vincentdigiovanni5156
      @vincentdigiovanni5156 Pƙed 4 lety

      Alfi Hanifah Prameswari
      That has been the single biggest joy I have found,,,
      Recognizing my kind.
      I see you.

  • @bluemushrooms6848
    @bluemushrooms6848 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    I can't stop laughing Everytime I watch your videos.
    Its like you're completely reading me without knowing me. But you know me..
    Lol. It's just crazy how spot on you are.

  • @giricoccola3554
    @giricoccola3554 Pƙed 4 lety +5

    Misdiagnosed an INFP for years but now finding my INFJ reality, I definitely get the cameleon feeling. It's kind of like being.. an ambivert (gasp). People either don't get me at all and talk over what I'm trying to say, or seem to find my offerings charming and revelatory. At least that's what I read from their reactions! So it's great when I can manage to find the latter environment, but mostly I feel I live in a world where I do not belong.

    • @legendgamer676
      @legendgamer676 Pƙed 4 lety

      I relate to this a lot. Even when I’m among my nearest and dearest friends I still sometimes feel that my thoughts are either not valued or even wanted. Maybe that’s not the case, but it doesn’t help when people talk over you. And then ask you “why are you so quiet?”. Why do you think? 😂

  • @heyg0ld
    @heyg0ld Pƙed 4 lety +204

    "What do I accomplish by expressing myself?" The question of my life.

  • @christinemiller1967
    @christinemiller1967 Pƙed 6 lety +101

    I’ve constantly had backs turned on me. That’s why I avoid large gatherings like the plague.

  • @yvindHyland
    @yvindHyland Pƙed 3 lety +8

    Sometimes I fear I am noticeably quiet and force my self to start or join in on conversations, but I go too deep immediately and say something that gets interpreted as depressive or weird. Then they just look at me like "Haha, okimmatalkwiththisotherguynow. 😬" and I'm back to being quiet. It's easier when they're drunk.

  • @Malika-rb7of
    @Malika-rb7of Pƙed 3 lety +7

    Took me 2 days of binge-watching your videos (instead of studying I'm in dental school), reading the comments section, and then typing this whilst constantly second-guessing whether I should write it or not, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've always had a hard time keeping friends (surprisingly not making them), because you lose interest in how superficial they can be.
    I also get tired of becoming invisible, just because I don't want to say anything that doesn't really have meaning. I think a problem with INFJs is that they don't talk much either because they want whatever comes out of their mouth to be special/meaningful. This way, we talk less, because if you always say these special thoughts, you come off too intense and people have become more and more superficial as the years go by. Also, not to be rude, but sometimes extroverts are over-rated and really drain your energy. Hanging out with them its all about me me me, you don't even get a chance to open your mouth because they're always talking and of course naturally everyone's engaged if something's constantly moving. 11 years of reading why I am the way I am followed by self-therapy, constant self-guessing in personal life, school and work, your videos really hit home.
    Also, I have never ever liked so many comments in the comments section below in all my years on youtube. It's really nice to know and see I am not alone, and that I am normal. We are not weird, we are special. The world needs people like us, if there were more people like us in the world (healthy versions of INFJs), our world would be healing more rather than being destroyed.
    Also to all the people that think INFJs are too deep, at least we're not so self-absorbed and actually understand people. I'd rather be deep than superficial, and I feel as though people should stop judging INFJs so much. And we should stop judging ourselves too. Healthy thoughts to my fellow INFJs.
    Again, thank you, Frank James. Bless your mind.

  • @SMoe
    @SMoe Pƙed 4 lety +173

    I'm glad I stumbled on this video. I have always asked myself "do I exist?" I feel like a ghost. Like no one sees me, but I'm there.

    • @fs5695
      @fs5695 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Shontal Moe Seriously, same here!

    • @edixasanchezpacheco3692
      @edixasanchezpacheco3692 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      It’s a real feeling.

    • @amity4716
      @amity4716 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      As an infj who is also a physically small lady, I find it hard to be visible. Even when trying I'm too soft spoken.

  • @kelseybreanne5479
    @kelseybreanne5479 Pƙed 5 lety +459

    It's really comforting to hear the way you speak, as I speak in the same manner. Slow, hesitant. I feel like we tend to come off as unintelligent, when we are really just thinking about how to make what we're saying actually mean something. It's nice to know that it's not just me.

    • @LaurenLinguist
      @LaurenLinguist Pƙed 5 lety +11

      I think we are natural public speakers, on the contrary, you should learn to embrace the power of your speech, especially because it's probably not frequent

    • @JazzyJess7
      @JazzyJess7 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Yessss

    • @prettyskunky
      @prettyskunky Pƙed 4 lety +23

      And (don't know if this happens to others) when we're explaining something, we use such simple terms that you can tell people are assuming what we're saying will be dumb... only to realize there's some big truth, an interesting point or intuitive observation in what we said. Some people do realize it and come to appreciate your opinion later even willing to patiently let you finish getting your point across or asking for your opinion in big matters.... Others continue to assume we're dumb because they weren't listening the first time around...

    • @favouraffi424
      @favouraffi424 Pƙed 4 lety +12

      I talk like this and end up sounding like Im unsure of myself or I don't know what I'm saying... To my ears anyway. Most times, I just shut it.

    • @MCPanda-bl3nc
      @MCPanda-bl3nc Pƙed 4 lety +3

      If I am to say something relatively important in the deep sense, either I say it all as a big speech in my head and never remember it gain (oh well, there it went), or I manage to write about it in full. I don't bother giving intelligent thoughts that aren't to help in the moment if I know I won't be able to express them to the other person. Sometimes I manage to and it is great, but most of the time my brain breaks and I say it all messed up or it's too much for them to grasp and I'm like ok nevermind then. Sometimes I can't even socialize unless I stop thinking and go into talking mode and give what's on my mind. Because at the end of the day, speaking your mind even if it is about common interests or differing interests/personal opinion, it can open people up to your particular perspective as an INFJ and then they feel like it's manageable to talk with you more (I guess you're also putting out a bit more. I still get ignored sometimes even then to be fair tbh. Sometimes eventually I get tired and just zone out then suddenly jump back in when I hear something interesting, it annoys my sister) and if one day something happens with you, they will be there to lend an ear if they are your good friends. My friends like discussing so it's good & it can be liberating to share opninions/views on world problems or Idk talk about a show you like to watch for a bit. I tend to be a pretty direct person in the first place, try to get past or avoid small talk.

  • @bloomsandthreads8519
    @bloomsandthreads8519 Pƙed rokem +7

    I have watched this a couple of times. It makes so much sense now. My whole 59 years of my life suffering from this issue. I’ve always tried to figure it out. I thought friends weren’t interested in me. I think I’m very interesting. It’s just that I am not a talker. It’s what you said, we absorb energy and take in other people. We are the listeners. That’s ok. I’m ok with that. I like listening.

  • @lindaprince1179
    @lindaprince1179 Pƙed 4 lety +9

    I feel left out a lot! Kind of a wallflower or third wheel type of a feeling.

  • @joslynch4924
    @joslynch4924 Pƙed 4 lety +264

    This really struck a cord with me. My whole life Ive been the quietest one in the room and I always feel like I'm just a passive observer of my own life. People always think I'm mysterious when really I'm just taking everything in. Thank you for helping me.

    • @skilyndeitrick7848
      @skilyndeitrick7848 Pƙed 4 lety +24

      Joslynch i’m with you girl, i’m always labeled as too mysterious or people think i’m mean because i’m not talking to them and it’s such a big struggle because i’m aware that they are aware of how i come off but i can’t really do much about it? if that makes sense?

    • @annashepeleva1882
      @annashepeleva1882 Pƙed 4 lety

      @@skilyndeitrick7848 exactly!

    • @drownedinnostalgia3433
      @drownedinnostalgia3433 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Skilyn Deitrick it makes perfect sense!

  • @FunnyguyMs15
    @FunnyguyMs15 Pƙed 4 lety +132

    “Social chameleon” I felt that..

  • @PoojaRai0447
    @PoojaRai0447 Pƙed 3 lety +23

    I find this super interesting. One of my insecurities is that I feel unheard and unseen. And it hurts very deeply. I'm an INFJ but also a codependent in relationships. Usually fall for the people that I want to 'figure out' and usually ends in disaster as the people im interested in are either narcs or BPDs. Then all hell breaks loose. Wonder if being codependent and INFJ usually go hand in hand ?
    Edit: I also find groups super tiring. Like I like the company but I find it so tiring that I avoid groups of over 3 or more people . My brain is just constantly running and I get exhausted. Im in a healthcare profession that requires eye contact but I also do find people either get defensive and start insulting me in superficial ways when they see I'm present and have the eye contact, or they do the opposite and feel super intimate and over share things. It's so up and down.

    • @marieindia8116
      @marieindia8116 Pƙed 3 lety +7

      I wouldn't say we go hand in hand with codependency but especially if we were raised in a dysfunctional family, we are the type that will most easily fall into that trap because we are so into our heads and don't share as much, and always trying to solve what might be unsolvable problems. However, we are also capable of doing the research on how to get better and apply it, as well as slamming the door...we need to slam them on the right people. Otherwise, predators read the signs on our foreheads and get attracted like vultures to our unhealthy selves. All the best in working on your issues.

  • @Loziwig
    @Loziwig Pƙed 3 lety +8

    When there’s not a natural space in conversation to say something often I end up not saying anything. Over time and learning things about different friends that I had conflicts with I discovered that others grew up in families that talk over each other and that’s their natural way of conversing, whereas for me my family culture (and at school) it was really really rude to talk over someone whilst they were talking. Realising that has helped me understand more from the others side, that they aren’t always trying to be excluding but it’s just how they’re used to functioning.
    The ideal situation for me would be before any conversation with different people is for everyone to admit what conversation style they default too, that way then being aware of where everyone’s at in terms of their conversational hopes and expectations and minimising misunderstanding others loudness or quietness

  • @echolio22
    @echolio22 Pƙed 4 lety +280

    Interesting- I thought I was the only person who felt like this - I also happen to be INFJ but never realized other INFJ had this same feeling. And it took me 5 minutes to even decide if I wanted to post this comment 😁

    • @ADara-er1qb
      @ADara-er1qb Pƙed 4 lety +7

      đŸ€ŁđŸ’•đŸ™Œ

    • @rosabscura
      @rosabscura Pƙed 3 lety +22

      It’s crazy to find out how many people have an extremely similar thought process. Really helped me accept myself.

    • @lolkayleen2757
      @lolkayleen2757 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      U made the right choice posting it, u added valuable and fun information to this comment section. Definitely relate as an INFJ 😂

  • @oliviahaglund8978
    @oliviahaglund8978 Pƙed 6 lety +235

    You would be so perfect for a podcast: please put out a podcast, maybe even with guests. I relate completely to all of this, as an INFJ myself.

  • @BlessedBaeLLC
    @BlessedBaeLLC Pƙed rokem +2

    I've said that plenty of times and nobody's getting it,like I'm not looking forward into bantering, debating or going back and forth unless its with pure substance. Like I can't put my energy into things like that.

  • @michalp1
    @michalp1 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    I get this all the time. Im an outcast in social settings. They don't want to deal with me. I am bored with lack of depth in a conversation and often I have to pretend to be interested. I need to find more INFJs and ENFPs

  • @noobski8647
    @noobski8647 Pƙed 4 lety +105

    When I go to some parties people often ask me why am I so quiet...it almost sounds like they feel bad for međŸ€·đŸœâ€â™‚ïž but I'm just observing everything..and I'm completely fine by it

    • @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983
      @yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 Pƙed 4 lety +7

      Oh my gosh yes, I have never understood why people pity me because I'm quiet, it seems so odd, and kind of patronizing 😂

    • @marcus813
      @marcus813 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      So many people associated being taciturn with something being wrong with someone. I hate that things work that way. I want the stuff I say to mean something. Empty conversation isn't my cup of tea.

  • @Softening.into.His.Glory.
    @Softening.into.His.Glory. Pƙed 6 lety +166

    So can relate to this. In college, I was surprised when someone commented (about me) to everyone in the psychology of religion class, "stop interrupting her, because as little as she says, it's nearly always profound." So some people do notice, even more than we think.

    • @bennyton2560
      @bennyton2560 Pƙed 6 lety +8

      Kudos to the classmate! I had a similar experience. Somebody in my class started a magazine, and she invited me to be an editorial, because she listened to me speak in class, and thought I had insights. *Now allow me to be fairly smug about it...

    • @bendemare5270
      @bendemare5270 Pƙed 5 lety +8

      Right!
      At that moment,You(I) feel like...kinda shocked because you're being told something positive( so ,positive social experience) about a trait that's inherent to you while you're so used to be dealing with negative social situations

    • @kaitlynac
      @kaitlynac Pƙed 5 lety

      Someone said that about me too

    • @alyssafoster4765
      @alyssafoster4765 Pƙed 5 lety +2

      Kaitlyn Calcote someone called me a leader the other day, and was like whaaaat

  • @ronelamesa8245
    @ronelamesa8245 Pƙed 3 lety +8

    i love how he carefully explain things, it comforts me/puts my mind on ease. as a fellow infj, it feels like i'm having a deep one-on-one talk with a friend. other people might find such conversation boring, but this is how i like my conversations to go.

  • @luqboyslamoseni6243
    @luqboyslamoseni6243 Pƙed 4 lety +5

    “Does it matter if I express my opinion here” has never been more true.

  • @annawitter5161
    @annawitter5161 Pƙed 4 lety +117

    Sometimes in a group, there is so much energy and vibes coming at me, its so overwhelming, I cant possibly talk just because I am so busy trying to sort and process everything so not to go under. Often I just have to walk away.

    • @2esquared
      @2esquared Pƙed 4 lety +7

      When I still worked in a corporate environment with lots of colleagues and managers and people I never said anything in sales meetings. On the odd occasion that I dĂ­d say something or offered a solution to a problem people would just talk over me before I even finished my sentence. And then 2 minutes later when the top sales rep or manager says the same thing with gusto and conviction everyone says "Good idea, let's do that". And I would just sit there in quiet amazement and think "You bunch of fucking assholes.....". Probably ignored me because they were not used to me ever saying anything. And probably why I very seldom got good performance reviews, even if I exceeded my targets.

  • @mitch6160
    @mitch6160 Pƙed 5 lety +69

    "Does it matter if I express my opinion here..."
    This is exactly what goes through my mind.

  • @ShimmeryNight
    @ShimmeryNight Pƙed 3 lety +2

    This comment section truly puts me at ease.
    I have cut friendships off in the past for the reason that at one point, I sort of just fell into the background noise of it all and I felt I was not being included until I was needed by someone for their own benefit. I didn't feel heard, wanted, or needed and that truly didn't make me feel confident about the relationship so I ended it. It was for the best because I felt a huge relief afterward. Not saying that is how things should be handled all the time BUT, it has it's valid reasons.

  • @hlulaningobeni9536
    @hlulaningobeni9536 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    The feeling out wats going to happen thing ,It’s so accurate I sometimes think I can see the future

  • @amipop1108
    @amipop1108 Pƙed 6 lety +130

    I find myself sometimes molding to my surroundings, becoming extroverted when others don't take the initiative to create conversation. Other times, when there's plenty of extroverted people, I don't have the energy to, and just sit back and watch. It really depends how my "energy" is, and those surrounding me.
    Wow. You're great! I definitely melt into the background with a group of people, whether I'm close to them or not. It used to bother me a lot (and it still kinda does) when people ignore me. But I realized it's not really their fault.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  Pƙed 6 lety

      Hey, thanks for watching and leaving a comment!

    • @Iivinginfiction
      @Iivinginfiction Pƙed 5 lety +1

      OMG WHAT! SAME! I CAN NEVER EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS TO OTHER PEOPLE IT JUST IS WHO I AM.

    • @niahpe8533
      @niahpe8533 Pƙed 5 lety

      Yes!!

    • @spaceship3196
      @spaceship3196 Pƙed 5 lety +2

      Same like In school or work if I was in a group of quite people I’m usually the one to take over the situation and lead but in a group of extroverts I’m the quite one that just sits back and let them take over.

    • @gosiama480
      @gosiama480 Pƙed 5 lety

      Omgg, so truee

  • @jenniferluersen8625
    @jenniferluersen8625 Pƙed 2 lety +5

    I’ve never had someone explain this so well. I honestly have always struggled with this telling myself I’m too quiet, I’m not talking enough etc in social settings. It’s crazy to think that there are others out there who think like me. Thank you Frank!! 😊
    This video really impacted me.

  • @rosegold2617
    @rosegold2617 Pƙed rokem +1

    As infj sometimes it's a relief when people ignore or forget you.. 🙂