Messing up the Middle Ages with Bad Translations
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- čas přidán 8. 12. 2023
- I translated Wikipedia's timeline of the middle ages/medieval through languages with terrible translation quality, this was the result.
MUSIC:
Sound the Cornu - Imperator Rome
A simple song for commoners - CK2
The Banquet - CK3
Commerce in the Peninsula - EU4
Kings Court- - EU4
The End of an Era - EU4
scubsbu and likeek - Komedie
Long live *HE*
Forget He! I'm Team Charlie Magnesium!
忘Tram·Charlie·Magnesium！我的王叫圝亗正！@@rinoz47
He founded London in Belgium
*HE* is Nicaragua
Well it is called His Story, now we know who that is.
Can we talk about how in 1:29 *HE* built a Mosque before Muhammad was even born? What an absolute legend.
I mean time travel was shown during the Roman times, so it’s not that far-fetched
That's quite rmarkable!
HE transcends time
He learnt how to build it from his previous playthrough.
And then later destroyed by the Vikings...
I wish we could get more lore on Bromax III. He seems like a cool warrior
I want to see more Me. He looks like Tony Stark.
bromax III vs silly
Bromax vs HE when?
bromax
Total Giga-Chad name
“Bromax” is the chaddest name since Chad.
Borderlands badass boss name
Bromax Thunderhawk IV
@@iratepirate3896Bromaxxing
5:42
-enters Canosa
-stands in bare snow
-pleads not guilty to the Pope
-concedes defeat at the opening ceremony of the debate
-refuses to elaborate
-leaves
That was quite a series of things that Emperor Henry IV did in Canosa! Also, it takes quite some endurance to stand in bear snow, and an equal amount of humility to concede defeat that quickly!
so real
It could've been real
Guys, I think I discovered the narrator's identity!
In 840 AD Barry was kidnapped alongside Southern Italy by the Muslims (3:18).
Later the narrator explains he was freed by the Muslims under pressure of Pope Aris II of Germany (6:07).
Therefore, I suspect Barry is the narrator's true identity!
Edit: Now that I think about it, the narrator could also be Southern Italy, as the latter was also kidnapped by the Muslims.
So it could be Barry or all of southern italy? Got it.
@@AwesomEthanI think he is the narrator
@@nonbigbrain9662 I doubt it. There was no reference to HIM getting captured by the Muslims in this video.
Now that I think more about it, the narrator is most likely Southern Italy.
It can't be Barry because in 578 C.E he said his name was Justin
@@cfntl2629 Good point! Hence, I think that Justin was in Southern Italy at the time. Either that, or Justin's kidnapping was a separate incident from Barry and Southern Italy's kidnapping.
Thanks for the comment!
The Life of He. (And sometimes She)
In 555 BC, He was in front of the enemy, thankfully, He survived. From 447 BC and before, this forum has been announced 3 times during His career. In 439 BC, He asked an unknown figure, “Who is the king of wisdom?” We also learn in 439 BC that He hates the Nazi army, confusing many as they don’t know what a “Nazi” is, He returns home after 21 days. In 337 BC, we learn that He is the first player, beginning his first of three playthroughs. In 238 BC, He took Sardinia and Corsica to Rome, after Ardeo, He is taken to Rome for protection during the Illyrian War, 40 years later, He established the provinces and cities of Spain, another 100 years later, He and King Bogolius kill thousands of Cumbrian soldiers and civilians. In 14 AD, He dies on Friday. In 49 AD, He gets married for the first time, marrying Claudius Agrippina, the youngest daughter of Germanicus, 5 years later, He is assassinated by King Claudius Nero. In 117 AD, when the Romans captured the city of Rodum, He killed many people, over 100 years after not hearing about He, He killed Archon Heliogabalus and captures Severus, after 50 years on the run, in 275 AD, He is killed by Priest Aurelian. In 431 AD, He affirmed Nicaragua’s original doctrine and rejected the teachings of Nestorius. In 456 AD when the Roman Civil War began, He’s grandfather, Rissimo and Marino, were forced to leave Rome. After nearly 100 years, He built a mosque that helped transform “The Super” into a civilization until it was destroyed and invaded by the Vikings in 794. In 577 AD, we learn that He lives in the West Saxon diocese. In 634 AD, He, after many years, turns his back on the island and fled for the old town of Rasdon. In 668 AD, He sets up a general shelter leading north. In 750 AD, a time traveler tells the world about how He will be arrested in 1519. In 1018 AD, we learn that He’s official name is Bulgarian. He then goes silent for the next 88 years… ↓
Until the Battle of Serb Bridge, circa 1106 AD, where He defeats Robert Cook, the English leader of Henry Normandy. In 1118 AD, during the persecution, He becomes one of the most important and powerful military commanders of all time for his expert leadership in the Battle Serb Bridge. In 1192, He continues to ascend the ranks, becoming the first long-term military dictator to hold the post. After about 200 years, He is born into a group called the Battles of Kosovo during the Kosovo War in Serbia. In 1469, He is given 10 Sichod Tambon and becomes President. In 1485, She is born, and becomes one of the most famous British births. He then falls silent for centuries... ↓
Until in 1803, He returned to fight in the Napoleonic wars, in 1807, He takes a short break from the military to play a nice game of soccer/football, He becomes the last player of Borussia, but not even a year later, He goes to Copenhagen and steals several ships. In 1810, He takes the floor, becoming a celebrity of his time. In 1830, He learns about the horrible battles that took place in Yogkarta and Surkarta, but He does not really care. In 1831, He defends the freedoms and rights of the Cherokee in front of the Supreme Court, three years later, in accordance with British law, He is sent to prison for unknown reasons. Another decade later, in 1844, He becomes the leader of Baháʼu'lláh and is considered the founder of Baháʼí Faith, later in 1844, He recovers, this event is known as “The Great Depression.” He is not heard from for another 23 years, until in 1867, He travels the world. In ̶1̶8̶9̶7̶ 1893, He is killed in a violent attack, but just seven years later, He returns and launches an invasion of the eight lands of China and takes all of the fields, this will become known as “The China Field Incident” another 21 years later, specifically ↓
On July 24th, 1914, the Austro-Hungarian government sent He to Serbia, He refused this order, and supported the Serbians in the fight against Austria-Hungary. He is later seen in Charleroi, however does not fight either side in the city. On September 3rd, 1914, He was killed in the battle of Lava, Austria-Hungary, but just 6 days later, He attacked Theobald von Bateman-Hallweger, leaving many to believe the death of He was Austro-Hungarian propaganda. He is later recruited to the Ottoman Empire, fighting in the battle of Chatur, however his achievements are overshadowed by Lam’s triumphant victory, and He is left behind. He later mysteriously dies in Korea in 1915, but is later remarried in Britain to She, after divorcing Claudius Agrippina. He later leads an army to attack Romania, however this army is destroyed by Romanian forces, following the loss, He builds a church and school in Thessaloniki, Greece. He later receives a military commission from Maurice Heinz and builds several buildings outside the park. He then got up, which is called karma. Reports then reveal that he was born over 300 years in the Ottoman Empire. He was later received at Buckingham Palace by King George V on the evening of December 10th, and visited Buckingham Palace for the first time on November 11. He then takes a short break from the military, ↓
Until in 1936, He called for increased trade between the Netherlands and Germany, then on September 2nd, 1939, Britain and France agreed to send Him to Germany, in an attempt to halt the German advances during the Ghost War. Around this time He also begins trying to find a partner. A few weeks later, He is eventually pushed back to Belgium, where He founded the city of London, He manages to hold off the German advance and protects London. After waiting a few more months, Hitler attempts to invade Britain, but He masterfully prevents this from happening. He is then sent to Central Africa, after fighting in France and the UK in the Christmas War of 1940, a war that had lasted for 24 years, The result of this war is unknown. He was then sent to Crete, where his army and himself established the Kingdom of Crete. Two years later in November, 1942, He led an army from Alexandria, Egypt, to Moratus, Hungary. In 1944, growing tired of British leadership, He switches sides, joining German forces, summoning the Estonian army to destroy the Soviet Empire, this attempt sees He’s first major defeat, it is never confirmed, but is suspected that He retired from war following the loss. ↓
Until in 1950, He is declared missing, leaving many to believe he died in the war, He is later seen alive in 1959, when he flies 5,990 kilometers over the ocean, without an airplane, He then puts his flying skills to the test, as in 1967, He flies around the moon 10 times before returning to Earth, He arrived back in the US on July, 20th, 1969. Just one year later, He becomes the first astronaut to land on another planet, it is unspecified which planet this is, another year later on December 2nd, 1971, He becomes the first human to arrive on Mars. In 1975, He makes his great return to combat, however, in a naval rescue mission against the Khmer Rouge, He makes his second major loss, as he leads his entire team to failure. In 1979, NATO threatened nuclear expansion in Europe, which is (apparently) the second time He has had this happen, this leaves the populace to believe that He is an almighty god. In 1982, we learned that He is Spanish, contradicting earlier reports of him being born in the Ottoman Empire. Following the events which led Sri Lanka to ban their communist party, He is nicknamed “the youngest son of the Soviet Revolution.” In October 1983, American forces invade Grenada, with the help of He, the Grenadian Communist Party is overthrown, He overthrows the Cuban Army as well, limiting Cuban ambitions in the Caribbean and neutralizing the threat they posed to America, He then prevents the Soviet Union from constructing an airport, believing that they were trying to undermine American influence. In May, 1984, He condemned aid to the rebels. In 1985, the United Nations convicts He of crimes against humanity and war crimes in Argentina from 1976 to 1983. In 1986, SHE, He’s wife, became the first female president of the Philippines. She and He both go silent for a few years until eventually, ↓
In 1990, more modern reports do say that He was born in Lithuania, instead of Spain or the Ottoman Empire. Also in 1990, some very sad news, She’s hair is dirty. Just one year later, He retreated from Frunze to Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. In August of 1991, following the independence of Azerbaijan from the Soviet Union, He smiled. And then just a few days later, He gained independence from Latvia and Lithuania, leaving many to believe He influenced the collapse of the Soviet Union. In 1992, He divided England into a republic of all duties, further increasing his power. In May of 1992, He paved the way for the restoration of Cambodia. In 1994, He, now leader of Afghanistan, was captured by militants. In 2002, He was in Afghanistan for 8 years after the army invaded Iraq. In 2012, He became the ruler of Azawad, ruling from Ansongo, the largest and last town in the Azawad Autonomous Province, He later steps down from this role as He begins traveling around Africa from Bujumbura to Gitega. In 2021, lots of people began to build monuments dedicated to He for his service in World War I and the Civil War, in May of the same year, He also defeated the Armenian army. This is all information about He to this day, more is expected to be found as scientists begin to study the life and history of He.
Yes, I added some (a lot) of this on my own, but I felt like it gave more character and reasoning for the actions of our glorious, tall, handsome, strong, independent, respectful, almighty god, the one and only. HE. (too long, too long, help help help help help HEEELPPPPP, SOMEBODY ANYONE STOP ME PLEASEEEE)
Wow man
He is proud of you!, you have found the statement that he made years ago, even his followers couldn't find it!
Underrated coment
You are truly dedicated.
Quality HE lore
Bromax III may be my new (second) favorite character, only being surpassed by HE.
HE was sure doing a lot during this era, and Venezuela was also more historically influential than i ever imagined!
Why you sleeping on Butt August
Considering the reliability of many contemporary medieval historians and chroniclers, this isn't much worse...
But at least we know that Scaven are cannon now, and they live somewhere in balkans.
Ah come on
Probably written by someone who has never read a contemporary medieval source. There is nothing inherently more or less reliable about medieval sources in comparison to most other pre-modern ones, rather the notion that they would be is an old myth, tied up with modern notions of a "dark Middle Ages".
@@Osvath97or the myth that modern history isn't biased to make it's authors look good
Isn't that more classical history?
So He is from Spain while She is from Britain? Interesting differences
Also it's funny how the translation changed the whole meaning of the Canosa episode since in reality the Emperor didn't defy the Pope but was actually trying to get recomunicated by walking there like a beggar.
Wouldn't She have to be from the Philippines, considering She was elected president?
Well if you remember from that one video he was also born 300 years ago in the ottoman empire in spain
@@charliekahn4205 If HE can become president of the US while being born in Muslim Spain then SHE can become president of the Philippines while being born in medieval England.
Well, even HE had some kind of connection to Britain, as he received a British uniform, fought for the Entente and, at least for most of the conflict, fought in ww2 on the side of the allies, defending Britain from Nazi Germany.
I mean, i think HE is somewhat like dhali lama, HE just reincarnates whenever HE feels like it
In the words of Count Dooku:
“I’ve been looking forward to this”
Throughout Europe, news books and news became more news.
Count Dooku: "Good. Twice the news... Double the news."
There seemed to be some interesting continuity in some of the other videos of the Ottomans being this massive empire (apparently controlling Britain, Spain, and Germany at various points), now we know it's because they had nukes.
Previous videos did indicate that the Ottomans had conquered most of Europe
Yet there's an entire Muslim planet that isn't controlled by the Ottomans unless it's the Ottomans that appointed Afghanistan to rule it.
@@hedgehog3180 Probably the Ottomans turned Earth into the Muslim Planet and the Afghans later took over
@@charliekahn4205I'd say this "Muslim planet" might be Mars or Jupiter,not Earth.
So it's all just a whatifalthist fanfic?
Ottomans: *casually invents and launches nuclear weapons in 1499*
EU4 players: seems about right
Eu4?🤔
this feels more like Civ than EU lol
I like the sporadic "That's not a bad translation, that's actually what happened" moments
some are understandable even with the bad translation, or maybe its because medieval history is my field of study
Wait didnt youre country surrender ?🤔
@@MojoWolpers To the Soviets? Or what are you talking about?
As someone who lives in Detroit, I can confirm we are crazy.
Ottoman nukes has officially destroyed the world in this timeline
so maybe that's why ww1 had so 3 other ww cross-over, the 2nd the 3rd and the 7th
6:43 King Bromax III is the greatest king who ever lived.
Please continue, i love this and even my history teacher watches this lol.
Mr Terry?
Is your teacher Mr. Terry by chance?
1:29 HE is so powerful that he built a mosque 7 years before Muhammad was born
It’s his second play-through so He predicted it coming
@@tectamk.thorne7837 Third or fourth i think
He was using the new meta strat. You get wr time by building the mosque early
Ah yes, Yasstinian. The emperor of the Eastern Slay empire.💅
″ for the birth of empire they burnet a policeman″ yeah that seems like something the Aztec empire would do
NEW CHARACTER JUST DROPPED 6:42
Wonder how he'd do against HIM
Also we need to make a wiki for all this
So many new characters in every new video this is actually turning into a story
I like to imagine that Bromax is just another player doing a co-op with He, She and Me.
I love the random cameos of US cities. Venezuela probably appeared much because it was probably a translation of Venice
What's that country? I only ever heard of Venesuela & Venemuela.
I still don't understand how bologna was confused with connetticut
@@cfntl2629Venezuela for you is venesuela
9:07 Ah yes, John England, the famous founder of England
Big up John England, created the land which England is on
Easily the most epic sounding translations in this episode, with all the titans and divine spirits and shit.
Edit: It’s a little bit of a bit.
3:10 Ah, that's the reason why Charlemagne wanted to conquer territories in today's Germany... He just couldn't cross the sea without VIOELNTLY REACTING!
CHARLIE MAGNESIUM
8:18 silly is my favorite character i hope he appears more trough out the lore
He is 1 but silly is 2 in my opinion, but yeah, I hope he appears more
*Scilly?
As an Australian I will have you know that Italy is rightful Aussie clay!
Everybody gangsta till the kangaroos start making pizza
7:06 Reject humanity, return to Worm.
There's a city in Germany called Wormz which was an emperial elector seat for the HRE and an important city in Medival times, Im guessing thats what the translation is referring to.
I assume that part is supposed to be the concordat of Worms.
Ah, here we see the upbringing of his military role in the modern world.
11:07 That is definitely *not* going to be controversial...
KOSOVO IS BULGARIA
@@lebaguette5393KOSOVO IS SERB
KOSOVO IS NORTH MACEDONIA
@@MpanzuSolosNah Kosovo is in the Turkestan Empire
Kosovo is Byzantine!
Now I finally know why there weren't any Muslims playing golf in 1259
7:10 funnily enough, i think "worms" is the only part of that sentence that IS supposed to be there. i believe it's talking about the concordat of worms and the formation of the first council of the lateran
He:
before 535 BC-54
after 54-275
b. between 275-431
b. 1389
11 December 1617-1893
after 1893-3 September 1914
after 3 September 1914-18 January 1915
b. between 18 January 1915-3 July 1915
b. 8 March 1990
She:
b. 1485
11:45 for Republic of Venesuela it was the best trade deal in the history of trade deals. Also, it took me embarrassingly long time to figure out this event that had a huge influence on my country.
This is quite a wild history, even by the standards of this series! Firstly, at 0:41, Odessa was "killed" by Ravenna (which I find unfortunate, since some of my ancestors may have come from there). Secondly, Henry VIII got promoted to "emperor"! Thirdly, Henry V was renamed to Henry Wie at 12:00, and judging by the reference to France as a "great British territory", he was even more victorious than usual. Lastly, the Ottomans got an atomic weapon before the Americans did!
Also, we learned that He was a military commander and a dictator (and he built a mosque at 1:30, decades before Muhammad himself did), and that She was born in 1485 in England (did "Bosworth" turn into "birth" somehow?).
I was laughing all throughout this video. Thanks for making this!
I do find it funny picturing how Odessa may have been killed by at most a 3 year-old.
@@Servoxyl I'll say! A child spirit killed a city!
Only 17 seconds in and *HE* is already back!
What an unforgivable crime, being charged with common sense.
9:46
Modern British justice system be like
"There is only 2 genders" *BANG BANG* Guilty!!!!
It all makes sense now "he has playes this game before" from the cold war he has expirience with nuclear Armageddon because he is the only thing standing after
But... "He has played this game twice before"
The Dark Ages require HIM and The Buddha
These videos never get old
Sure, you can be manly, but you will never be BROMAX III manly!
Bromax III was my favourite side character
@6:01 As a citizen of Connecticut, I can confirm, this is canon!
I know connecticut is not real!!11!
5:46 This entire entry feels like a comedy sketch LOL
and most of it was true
Oh God, the translations went NUTS on this one! You could tell by the amount of times StarvHarv was cracking up before the translation was revealed! Only one person is responsible for this...
HE.
7:03 it taking them until 1123 to have the first conversation makes sense to me.
2:58 But He did so much for us!
Thank you for this video, your channel has been getting me through some tough times. ❤
We started at WW2, we've gone through every event of the modern age, and now we're back in medieval times.
Dang, it looks like He really has played this game twice
HE is everywhere, you can't escape him.
Love the subtle Chuck McGill 😅 "1216, one after Magna Carta!"
Also did not expect to see Karl Pilkington show up in one of these videos, but glad he did!
These always leave me giggling uncontrollably 😂 what a delight!
“it was designed to carry out a turkey besieging a missile”
im dead 😂
Wouldn't surprise me if the lore reveals He to be He Jin.
Could also be He Yi or Zhang He
great video as usual, starvin' harvin'
Lore of Messing up the Middle Ages with Bad Translations momentum 100
I love this. The translation isn't even that funny but the animations you made to go with them has me roaring with laughter!
5:16 pope, president, king, AND prime minister? leo really got around
I'm afraid of what StarvHarv will do when he runs out of eras to translate.
Probably pick objects, like history of the automobile or something. But there is a lot of history he can still use too.
Plus all the random rabbit hole videos, like the Jekonmo man power drinks or the quantum galactic healers.
He should do other timelines, like Romance of the Three Kingdoms or Metal Gear.
@VoVilliaCorp and @Statusinator, those are great ideas, and @averyamador6485, I feel like my question and your question are the exact same basis, Godspeed to all three of you.
@@Statusinator Dude Metal Gear lore Google translated would actually be psychotic.
I love your channel keep up the great stuff
"The threat" scares me
Thats awesome. So much fun montage, just like in the first ones, absolutely stunning work
I’m late but here’s the pronouns lore
0:16 HE affirmed Nicaraguas original doctrine and rejected teachings of Nestrolius
1:30 HE built a mosque that helped transform The Super into a civilization.
1:52 HE lived in West Saxon diocese
2:22 Yes.
2:34 I ended three conversations in Korea
2:39 HE set up a general shelter leading North
2:58 HE was arrested in 1519
6:08 Under Pressure from Pope Aris II of Germany, the Muslims sent ME back.
6:26 HE defeated Robert Cook at the battle of the Serb Bridge
6:56 During the persecution, HE became one of the most important and powerful military commanders
7:34 Detroit. That’s crazy.
8:37 HE was the first in a long term military dictator to hold post
9:30 The battle bars trust ME
11:03 HE was born into a group called the Battles of Kosovo
14:10 HE received 10 sichod tambon and became president
14:35 SHE is one of the most famous British births
14:40 It’s a little bit of a bit
I’m not sure if narrators okay, but at least he’s doing his job. I also added some of narrators comments ^^
Tell me if I missed anything.
Can’t wait to see the history teachers reactions
LoL 🤣🤣🤣
I seriously can't take ut anymore
Somebody help me, ANYBODY
My stomach is bursting out of laugher 😂😂😂😂
2:32 So "I" lore when
He got around didn't He? I had to stop drinking a cup of milk because I nearly sucked it up my nose while trying not to spit it out while laughing at these, but I loved it! And then I proved it by subscribing to all videos, lol!
This was extraordinarily ridiculous and yet the funniest thing I heard all week! Some of it made at least a little bit of sense, tho! We need more!
This was amazing, I love how there was a lot of characters in some parts that it just became a hysterical mess lol
You are the most goated channel on youtube
13:58
14:02 *Sengoku Basara flashbacks*
Spectacular indeed!
Holy shit these bad translations videos are literally the funniest videos I've ever seen
Did anyone else notice that Elon Musk showed up during the Khmer Rouge segment at 4:13?
Yep
Finally, been waiting ages for more SHE lore!
I NEED to know the full story of the Campaign For A Fourth Joint. It sounds like a pretty dank tale.
I want more on the threat lore
From now on, every video title has to include “HEstory”
It's not often you get to laugh until your stomach hurts through an entire video, having to pause on occasion to catch your breath, but this is one of those rare moments!
Can't stop laughing at the part about the battle between Jeff/Kiblin and Silly. Something about StarvHarv's delivery combined with an image of a tiny blepping cat head on a giant knight's body is absolutely killing me.
Would love to learn more about Silly and the battle...
Bromax III:
>becomes king
>defeats Henry VIII
>refuses to elaborate further
>never appears again
long live He
8:03 That was flower and caddle as an hommage for victime of terrorist attack in Paris 💀
7:51 most accurate translation about Paris. xDDD
10:27 A Failed Austrian Painter likes that.
12:26 THE POLICEMAN.
Love the the, man. Keep it up!!!
Oh, come let us adore HIM. Oh, come let us adore HIM.
Awesome video! Had me in stitches! Long live He!!
I want to see Stravharv ruin the interwar period (1919-1939) with translations because that’s be interesting
HE IS BACKK LETS GOOO
4:11 Lol, the subtle Elon Musk as Pol Pot for the third province. He really does look like him.
YES!!! HE RETURNS!!!
I was hoping to hear more about The Threat, and whether He and She are going to have to team up to stop it.
I am disappointed by our education system how dare they didnt teach us legacy of He in Islamic history.
Oh my, I never knew Venezuela was involved in that!
I wish we would know more about Bromax III and his antecessors but I think it was lost with the Alexandria's Library...
I can't believe the first punishment failed
also medieval history seems to be awfully INGSOC-like
Never forget our heroes Bromax III and Butt August.