Badly Translated Japanese History
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- čas přidán 5. 01. 2024
- I translated Wikipedia's Timeline of Japanese History through languages with terrible translation quality, this was the result.
MUSIC:
Japan Ancient Era - Civ 6
Japan - Civ 4
Bowsers Castle - Mario Odyssey
Japan Overture - Hearts of Iron 3
Subscribo and Liike for more badly translated history - Komedie
I could only imagine the mess that Chinese history would be. It's already a mess as it is.
“He declared himself the younger brother of Jesus Christ and began a civil war which caused the deaths of over 20 million people.”
@@Graatand Haha! Funny translation.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T A TRANSLATION!?
"He declared himself 洪秀全, a local merchant selling beer and shoes in central China, and began pillaging nearby village of 金田 and founded 天父天兄天王太平天国 which overthrow Morocan goverment of Australia Puppet State of Papua New Guinea"@@Graatand
"After He took the fields of China, He intends to ask help from Kingdom of Mesopotamia and King Ginsrich from Harassment, to build agriculture of Korea, in Nanjing River, east of Prussian Empire, to make good deeds to the Natives of Anubis Citizen
😂
@@devrimyilmaz9044 average Chinese civil war.
Nice to know that HE had a little role to play in Japanese history as well.
At first I was worried that HE wouldn't get involved, but luckily HE is everywhere.
Pretty humble cameo than usual
@@lawden210well, what else can he do? He’s already done so much with the time he’s had to live, and we already covered most of what he has done throughout the years. The only thing we can do now is explain him further.
i love how humble HE was this time, he just made his mark and reminded people that he's always there, besides he already had his share of events during like WW2 and the Cold War
Indeed, HE built the temple, absolutely crucial in Japan
What I got from this is that Sweden took over Japan at some point in history and Japan became very technologically advanced
IKEA was major country in this region
basically the plot of gintama
Proof that the Finno-Korean War actually happened
Which the "technologically advanced" part sounds sorta realistic
@@distendedmist5840NO FUCKING WAY
I love the video!! It was even realistic in how accurately it portrayed Japan's way of telling its own history: by completely avoiding any mentions of WW2.
Remember, WW2 in the pacific began and ended when the Americans bombed Hiroshima out of nowhere and completely unprovoked.
There is no war in Nanking
Nothing happens in Nanking 🤫
It mentioned it briefly once
There was no incident
"If a person is in their 30s, they are in their 30s, and in their 30s"
Truer words have never been spoken
“Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.”
Sounds philosophical
@@Longshanks1690 so true, my friend
As someone who is in their thirties I can confirm this.
@@Dennis-nc3vw I'm on my 20s
IKEA seems to be very powerful in Japan. Perhaps this is because of HE's relative absence?
All hail the magical Blåhaj!!!
The absense of HE is by the way easily explainable: Japanese doesn't have a specific third person pronoun. The normal procedure to talk about somebody third is "kore ga" (that person there) or just adressing the person by name. So when you translate the japanese version of History of Japan, you will not get HE often.
@@acmenipponairso basically HE is defeated by the lack of good translation for his name
As someone who knows quite a bit of Japanese history, I love how i could... sometimes tell what the original text was. These videos make my day
more like "as someone who has 15 fat rolls and 35 chins,"
hahahhahhae
i know more than you. how many animes have YOU watched?
@@neezduts69420only Dragon Ball GT and Schindler's List
@@johnf.kennedy9346 I understand what kind of person you’re trying to make fun of, but consider that someone could know things about Japanese history for other reasons, including literally just having gone to school in Japan.
I love the time whiplash from 14,000 BC to 300 BC to 238 AD, with the first two focusing on "the Japanese Valley," and then just laughing. What a mood.
"1680: Tokugawa's Older Brother died successfully" got me dying real bloody hard 🤣🤣🤣
It's not about dying bloody hard, it's about dying successfully, young padawan. It doesn't matter if you were dying bloody hard as long as it's successful.
Did you die successfully?
@@sansanichalexandroff8913 It seems Tokugawa's older brother inspired him.
@@Dennis-nc3vw Sadly, I did at the age of 23, and become King of Nicaragua (Antarctica)
If anyone is interested, the subtitles in the Sri Lankan news sections says "Hello how are you? This is not real news. How is the weather today? This video took a long time to make so please like it" 😂😂
Thank you
StarvHarv put a lot of effort into making this "news" video! Thanks for the translation!
Remember to send this to your history professor with no context
There's literally context in the video. Though, if you record/download it and cut the context out...
Ah yes. The Japanese-Ikea war. It was fought alongside the Finno-Korean Hyperwar.
''FRENCH MEANS FRENCH!''
shouts france during the war.
Really impressive how Japan won WWI twenty years before it started...
Indeed. The Simonovsky Pact sounds like a very powerful HOI4 faction too!
"If a person is in their 30s, then they are in their 30s & in their 30s."
I apologize. It seems my goddaughter got into this Wikipedia page back when she was 3.
I have no knowledge of any of this this is so bizarre
3:36 can we talk about how amazing this moment is, the delivery on "some delegates were later dissolved" was so great
I took one look at this notification and was like “yes”, dropping literally everything I was doing
Yesssss
Me too.
Really well edited! I can see you put a lot of effort into it. :)
bro u said this 2 minutes after it released
@@aperson626 Well I could already tell after only watching the first part.. :) it's quite an upgrade from the last episodes you know?
Yorp
6:38
well that's a weird way to say he committed /kill
Hirohito was so long reigning, I guess, his own heir got fed up and killed him just so he could finally take the throne.
like prince charles
@@Decopunk1927Man couldn't kill anyone save for strangling them with his meat-finger grip but safe to say that's ruled out
This guy is making the best content on CZcams right now.
It jumbled everything, but the major point of Japanese history of blocking trade with foreigners is still intact. Brilliant :D
As a Japanese, Thank you for creating this helpful video to study Japanese history.
I Will be able to get full marks on the next Japanese history exam.
3:04 as a person in his 30s I can confirm this is 100% correct
No it's not, lair.
Love seeing badly translated history of countries, the potential for so many funny translations is endless
the translator calling nintendo "con group" was the most accurate thing it ever came up with
Absolutely, they have no respect for whats right, only greed which makes the world a worse place.
They have made great games. I know fans think Nintendo don’t listen to them, but that’s because a lot of the fans constantly complain about what they want and then complain when Nintendo give them what they want.
@@joshslater2426 "They have made great games" Like what?
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714 ever hear of mario?, zelda?, pokemon?, animal crossing?, smash bros? A company doesn't have success for decades if people don't enjoy their products
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714 the mainline mario series has games considered the best ever made
The "because of pain" animation was perfect
"The ministry of foreign relations has been approved by the ministry of foreign relations"
*This made me spit out my drink*
I was a bit tougher, I only spat it out when it came to "the first country in the Asian region".
* Obama medal meme *
Who knew Japanese bureaucracy was so corrupt!
I found this to be a very humorous video! Not only was I laughing throughout, but we've now reached the point when even Google Translate was saying "Hahahahaha" with us! According to this video, Sri Lanka had news in ancient times, China sent too many embassies to Japan, e-commerce existed in 1635, South Korea threatened Obama (for some reason), and Japan "won" a strangely unhelpful victory in the war with Russia in 1905!
Also, three characters have returned: He was involved in building a temple in 949 (3:49; also, He seems to be quite an architect, with the "school and a church in Thessaloniki" during World War I and the mosque in the Middle Ages); Justin moved into the capital in 1180 (4:08); and even Barry (who was kidnapped in the Middle Ages) returned in the 1840s (see 7:31; also, the date skipped backwards, from 1853 to 1845!) to present Japan with demands from Prime Minister/President Fillmore! Furthermore, the picture used here for Shinzo Abe is the same as the one in the World War II video.
Thanks for the video!
Sri Lanka also had a good cricket team ancient times.
Love that Fillmore went from Prime minister to President
1:50 Damn StarvHarv's dad was a Japanese warlord
It might be Justin's father, Justin being the person who apparently writes the timeline. (Justin was the one who moved into the capital later on).
It might be the father of I
“What a strange thing!
to be alive
beneath cherry blossoms.”
― Kobayashi Issa,
0:29 As a Sri Lankan, I approve the news headlines. 😂
If anyone's wondering, They say,
"Welcome How are you?"
"These are not real headlines"
"How is the weather today?"
"It took a long time to make this video"
"Please like the video"
Wow, good headlines!
You know, ever since this episode, what other country is next on the chopping block? Germany? Korea? We have more possibilities now.
American history
Yeah, I think He only appeared once in this video. Before, He was popping up all the time.
@@howdoipickaname9815 HE had not much free time because his son, HE Jr., was in the football team. Maybe HE was also the coach.
well he done Chinese history as of yesterday I think.
You know, I'm starting to wonder if "HE" isn't actually some sort of immortal, God-like figure, but rather an organization to find the best, strongest, and most intelligent men in society to lead and influence it, hence there being multiple HE's throughout the world.
2:54 Wow, seems they predicted Coronavirus early...😂
I was reminded of COVID, too!
6:16 The E in E-commerce stands for European.
That actually makes sense, now!
These Badly-Translated History videos are my absolute favourite! The translation fails are hilarious as is, but it’s the incredible editing that makes me laugh til it hurts 😂 Thanks for providing all the laughs!
The Life of He. (And sometimes She)
In 555 BC, He was in front of the enemy, thankfully, He survived. From 447 BC and before, this forum has been announced 3 times during His career. In 439 BC, He asked an unknown figure, “Who is the king of wisdom?” We also learn in 439 BC that He hates the Nazi army, confusing many as they don’t know what a “Nazi” is, He returns home after 21 days. In 337 BC, we learn that He is the first player, beginning his first of three playthroughs. In 238 BC, He took Sardinia and Corsica to Rome, after Ardeo, He is taken to Rome for protection during the Illyrian War, 40 years later, He established the provinces and cities of Spain, another 100 years later, He and King Bogolius kill thousands of Cumbrian soldiers and civilians. In 14 AD, He dies on Friday. In 49 AD, He gets married for the first time, marrying Claudius Agrippina, the youngest daughter of Germanicus, 5 years later, He is assassinated by King Claudius Nero. In 117 AD, when the Romans captured the city of Rodum, He killed many people, over 100 years after not hearing about He, He killed Archon Heliogabalus and capturs Severus, after 50 years on the run, in 275 AD, He is killed by Priest Aurelian. In 431 AD, He affirmed Nicaragua’s original doctrine and rejected the teachings of Nestorius. In 456 AD when the Roman Civil War began, He’s grandfather, Rissimo and Marino, were forced to leave Rome. After nearly 100 years, He built a mosque that helped transform “The Super” into a civilization until it was destroyed and invaded by the Vikings in 794. In 577 AD, we learn that He lives in the West Saxon diocese. In 634 AD, He, after many years, turns his back on the island and fled for the old town of Rasdon. In 668 AD, He sets up a general shelter leading north. In 750 AD, a time traveler tells the world about how He will be arrested in 1519. In 949, He supervised the construction of the temple with a group of 56 Tipai hydranges. In 1018 AD, we learn that He’s official name is Bulgarian. He then goes silent for the next 88 years… ↓
Until the Battle of Serb Bridge, circa 1106 AD, where He defeats Robert Cook, the English leader of Henry Normandy. In 1118 AD, during the persecution, He becomes one of the most important and powerful military commanders of all time for his expert leadership in the Battle Serb Bridge. In 1192, He continues to ascend the ranks, becoming the first long-term military dictator to hold the post. After about 200 years, He is born into a group called the Battles of Kosovo during the Kosovo War in Serbia. In 1469, He is given 10 Sichod Tambon and becomes President. In 1485, She is born, and becomes one of the most famous British births. He then falls silent for centuries… ↓
Until in 1803, He returned to fight in the Napoleonic wars, in 1807, He takes a short break from the military to play a nice game of soccer/football, He becomes the last player of Borussia, but not even a year later, He goes to Copenhagen and steals several ships. In 1810, He takes the floor, becoming a celebrity of his time. In 1830, He learns about the horrible battles that took place in Yogkarta and Surkarta, but He does not really care. In 1831, He defends the freedoms and rights of the Cherokee in front of the Supreme Court, three years later, in accordance with British law, He is sent to prison for unknown reasons. Another decade later, in 1844, He becomes the leader of Baháʼu'lláh and is considered the founder of Baháʼí Faith, later in 1844, He recovers, this event is known as “The Great Depression.” He is not heard from for another 23 years, until in 1867, He travels the world. In ̶1̶8̶9̶7̶ 1893, He is killed in a violent attack, but just seven years later, He returns and launches an invasion of the eight lands of China and takes all of the fields, this will become known as “The China Field Incident” another 14 years later, specifically ↓
On July 24th, 1914, the Austro-Hungarian government sent He to Serbia, He refused this order, and supported the Serbians in the fight against Austria-Hungary. He is later seen in Charleroi, however does not fight either side in the city. On September 3rd, 1914, He was killed in the battle of Lava, Austria-Hungary, but just 6 days later, He attacked Theobald von Bateman-Hallweger, leaving many to believe the death of He was Austro-Hungarian propaganda. He is later recruited to the Ottoman Empire, fighting in the battle of Chatur, however his achievements are overshadowed by Lam’s triumphant victory, and He is left behind. He later mysteriously dies in Korea in 1915, but is later remarried in Britain to She, after divorcing Claudius Agrippina. He later leads an army to attack Romania, however this army is destroyed by Romanian forces, following the loss, He builds a church and school in Thessaloniki, Greece. He later receives a military commission from Maurice Heniz and builds several buildings outside the park. He then got up, which is called karma. Reports then reveal that he was born over 300 years in the Ottoman Empire. He was later received at Buckingham Palace by King George V on the evening of December 10th, and visited Buckingham Palace for the first time on November 11. He then takes a short break from the military, ↓
Until in 1936, He called for increased trade between the Netherlands and Germany, then on September 2nd, 1939, Britain and France agreed to send Him to Germany, in an attempt to halt the German advances during the Ghost War. Around this time He also begins trying to find a partner. A few weeks later, He is eventually pushed back to Belgium, where He founded the city of London, He manages to hold off the German advance and protects London. After waiting a few more months, Hitler attempts to invade Britain, but He masterfully prevents this from happening. He is then sent to Central Africa, after fighting in France and the UK in the Christmas War of 1940, a war that had lasted for 24 years, The result of this war is unknown. He was then sent to Crete, where his army and himself established the Kingdom of Crete. Two years later in November, 1942, He led an army from Alexandria, Egypt, to Moratus, Hungary. In 1944, growing tired of British leadership, He switches sides, joining German forces, summoning the Estonian army to destroy the Soviet Empire, this attempt sees He’s first major defeat, it is never confirmed, but is suspected that He retired from war following the loss. ↓
Until in 1950, He is declared missing, leaving many to believe he died in the war, He is later seen alive in 1959, when he flies 5,990 kilometers over the ocean, without an airplane, He then puts his flying skills to the test, as in 1967, He flies around the moon 10 times before returning to Earth, He arrived back in the US on July, 20th, 1969. Just one year later, He becomes the first astronaut to land on another planet, it is unspecified which planet this is, another year later on December 2nd, 1971, He becomes the first human to arrive on Mars. In 1975, He makes his great return to combat, however, in a naval rescue mission against the Khmer Rouge, He makes his second major loss, as he leads his entire team to failure. In 1979, NATO threatened nuclear expansion in Europe, which is (apparently) the second time He has had this happen, this leaves the populace to believe that He is an almighty god. In 1982, we learned that He is Spanish, contradicting earlier reports of him being born in the Ottoman Empire. Following the events which led Sri Lanka to ban their communist party, He is nicknamed “the youngest son of the Soviet Revolution.” In October 1983, American forces invade Grenada, with the help of He, the Grenadian Communist Party is overthrown, He overthrows the Cuban Army as well, limiting Cuban ambitions in the Caribbean and neutralizing the threat they posed to America, He then prevents the Soviet Union from constructing an airport, believing that they were trying to undermine American influence. In May, 1984, He condemned aid to the rebels. In 1985, the United Nations convicts He of crimes against humanity and war crimes in Argentina from 1976 to 1983. In 1986, SHE, He’s wife, became the first female president of the Philippines. She and He both go silent for a few years until eventually, ↓
In 1990, more modern reports do say that He was born in Lithuania, instead of Spain or the Ottoman Empire. Also in 1990, some very sad news, She’s hair is dirty. Just one year later, He retreated from Frunze to Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. In August of 1991, following the independence of Azerbaijan from the Soviet Union, He smiled. And then just a few days later, He gained independence from Latvia and Lithuania, leaving many to believe He influenced the collapse of the Soviet Union. In 1992, He divided England into a republic of all duties, further increasing his power. In May of 1992, He paved the way for the restoration of Cambodia. In 1994, He, now leader of Afghanistan, was captured by militants. In 2002, He was in Afghanistan for 8 years after the army invaded Iraq. In 2012, He became the ruler of Azawad, ruling from Ansongo, the largest and last town in the Azawad Autonomous Province, He later steps down from this role as He begins traveling around Africa from Bujumbura to Gitega. In 2021, lots of people began to build monuments dedicated to He for his service in World War I and the Civil War, in May of the same year, He also defeated the Armenian army. This is all information about He to this day, more is expected to be found as scientists begin to study the life and history of He.
Yes, I added some (a lot) of this on my own, but I felt like it gave more character and reasoning for the actions of our glorious, tall, handsome, strong, independent, respectful, almighty god, the one and only. HE.
This is 84 characters short of the longest CZcams comment somebody can send, so if your still reading this next video, the remainder of the lore will be in the replies.
太长。
I love He
I am actually working on a way more extensive document that will hopefully include ALL HE Lore, but I am glad someone else is on the same endeavor
I find it funny that the translator was so close to presenting an accurate cliffnotes of the Russo-Japanese War, only to mess it up after the mention of signs.
If my obituary doesn't have "I died successfully" as the title, I'm not gonna even do the dying.
(also, StarvHarv deserves an Oscar for the editing in this video, the "person falls over when pronounced dead in the wackiest of ways" never gets old lmao)
5:47 we dont talk about what happened in 1587
8:20 Calmest meeting between IJN and IJA officers be like
8:42 this legitimately sent me into a laughing fit that some of the other translations helped continue on
10:51 I guess you can say Akihito couldn’t wait to be king
I love how much better the editing in this series is getting!
3:55 I like how you placed the Kanji 彼(kare), "he" in Japanese.
Just when I thought HE was gone, HE came back
Terrific video! Absolutely loved the editing!
I just came across this channel from thus video and i absolutely laughed my ass off from beginning to end. This is a brilliant idea for a series and i think your channel will grow massively from this. As soon as i saw the title and thumbnail i knew this was gonna be good and it didn't disappoint. Subbed.
This videos you make is my new favourite thing to watch!
5:08 I think that's the IKEA at Porta di Roma, which is a shop complex north-east of Rome, Italy. The IKEA, as well as the Leroy Merlin, are separate from the rest of the mall. The only reason I know this is because I have used this IKEA several times.
Edit: I was right. The pole shown there matches up, and so does the yellow building and the ads. He removed the lamps hanging from the roof, but not their shadows. The lamps can still be seen at 8:00
7:12 - I always wondered where the Skeleton-Emperor of Wales came from.
There is something really serious was with IKEA before it's moved to Sweden. I want more IKEA lore!
Recently round your channel and I laughed my ass off especially at that Skyrim video you're very funny and charming.
Much love from Irish
3:05 IM MINDBLOWN
I took a screenshot of that and sent it to my gf without any context and she asked "is that a quote from Biden?"
Honestly it sounds about right
I love seeing funny videos like these after a stressfull day, it always makes me better. 💚💜
Man these are my favorite videos on CZcams right now, Keep it up. This shits hilarious.
Can we appreciate how well-made the animation is?
I love your channel keep up the great stuff
Love the videos, man. Keep it up!!!
4:35 Yeah! Why don't they just use swords like civilized people?
Love it, it gives me art inspo every time
Man, your editing skills have improved by alot
2:56 that’s not an error, nor a coincidence. Also for some reason the fact that you used an Italian IKEA’s picture for when you mentioned IKEA is so funny for some reason
There are many points in history that that statement is true...
Including that one we're all thinking about.
Great video as always! Would love to see you make a video on Finland also!
We truly live in a primitive era
2:44 you're angry?
There's a tax for that.
Your videos have reminded me what it’s like to actually have a genuine laugh at something
Amazing editing
this makes me want to subscribe to you...and I have subscribed. keep this up man it's so damn funny.
this is AMAZING kepp up the stuff
🔥🔥🔥
Great content, man. "HE" must be very proud of you.
The editing is just a 10/10
The fallout wiki(the crappy one that’s full of ads) has a timeline that includes literally every event that has a date starting with that samurai from mothership zeta getting abducted and ending with the sonic attack in 2910 mentioned in one of the old world blues ending slides. It has way too much stuff in it. October 23rd, 2077 (the day the bombs fell) has so much in it that it has its own scroll window. You should do that
Your editing has seriously improved.
Glad to be here before 1k, funny edit 😂
He:
before 535 BC-54
after 54-275
b. between 275-431
b. 1389
11 December 1617-1893
after 1893-3 September 1914
after 3 September 1914-18 January 1915
b. between 18 January 1915-3 July 1915
b. 8 March 1990
She:
b. 1485
1:27 the brain rots spreads
The civ theme of the (I think) ancient era in the background at the beginning makes it even better
Asuka era? More love for evangelion.
I have no idea how I ended up here. However, this is a pretty awesome and hilarious recommendation from CZcams!
Truly, I never knew IKEA is an essential part of Japan’s History! What a Time to be Alive
08:42 You even correctly adds each nation's service rifle of the era, respect.
Maybe its just me but he uses Type 38 for Japan instead of Type 30 😂
@@linkfreeman1998 You are right there. Type 38 only just been approved n 1905
Nice to see that the ikea is italian (5:08)
Ichèa.
9:28 so Japanese to ignore their involvement in WWII lol
they actively don’t teach it in school there actually
@@dusk3971 they hardly even now what a swastika is
@@HoodieNeko I think they knew, but not in the context of ww2. I mean I'm not Japanese, but I've seen Hinduism temple uses swastika as well. Its not invented by the Austrian Painter my man.
@@linkfreeman1998 I am literally an Asian, I saw the swastika’s marked on buildings and stuff in Korea, yes I know that the swastika was invented years ago in Persia. By swastika I meant the Nazi symbol swastika, not the original religious symbol.
I didn’t expect to see my city mentioned in a video but I also didn’t know that Taka’s royal palace was nearby.
I love these videos! I have been watching you since July
3:10 Koizumi be like "Yeah, that's my ancestor"👍
Welcome back to translation feud with your host Starv Harvey
What started IKEA's involvement in Japan?
The editing is getting better with each video :v
Happy new year starv harv
Ohhh, yes! Needed this!
Appreciate the Civ VI Japan OST at the start
5:14 funny you got that oda from civilizatiob 5
Also scandinavia in red and finland in orange like "idk, maybe scandinavia? Kinda?"
Iceland: wth
What about one on the history of computers? Wikipedia has a few timeline articles divided by decades, all under the "Timeline of computing" article.
So happy to see He appear yet again!
3:18 “but you didn’t have to cut me off-“
?
5:00 Kaka is german and means shit that made it even funnier for me
Oh wow. I didn't think you made this.
I suppose I should have expected this but whatever
The weirdest but in that same time funniest translation video I ever saw :D