"Men Approach Me All The Time, I Dont Believe Men Are Checking Out" - Michelle Called Us Out 🧢
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- His IG: / _bradyvic_
Original video --- • Men Refuse to Approach...
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Hold on a minute. Their yt channel pfp is backwards. Preach is on the left and Aba is on the right. Y'all gotta fix this!!!!!!
Sorry king. We’ll fix it asap - Praba
whered they get that handsome ass nigga from nowhere like that
@@AbaNPreach takes a king to know one🤙
Pin of acknowledgement
@@AbaNPreachCreate a channel where every video is flipped and played in reverse 4head
Her saying she doesn't notice men aren't approaching woman is like a rich person saying they didn't know recessions were happening.
Why wouldn't a rich person know recessions were happening 😂
The oblivious side of female nature is STAGGERING. These wmen have created a culture of harams. And are surprised when most men are out cold turkey. On the other hand. If you are financially stable. Just pay for the segs. Works for me. I know it isn't for everybody. But money is a women's kryptonite. They'll do ANYTHING, and brevs I mean A N Y T H I N G for money.
Yep
@@tiffanykim2773 because they might be the cause and are still making money from it
I understand what you’re trying to say, but this is an awful analogy lol
I'm probably just a little older than Michelle, and it's taken me THIS long to realize that guys are generally terrified of putting themselves out there to be rejected by women. When I was younger, I often got approached by the degenerates who hang out on street corners. But the guys who I actually liked never made it known that they liked me, and I had always been told that as a woman you shouldn't "chase" men, so it went nowhere. I decided to take a chance once though, with a "friend", and it turns out that he liked me a whole lot too! He was just afraid I wasn't into him like that. We've been married 11 years now. Everyone is afraid to be rejected, but no risk, no reward. The men have more to lose these days though, so I can understand why they'd be more hesitant to approach. Not ALL, but most of the guys who boldly approach women, majority of the time, are boldly chatting up other girls as well. Or just don't care if they're making you uncomfortable.
That last point is true. It gives me a new perspective to actually value the guys who don’t approach me more and try to approach them instead haha
Well you can't just pick and choose confidence🤷🏿♂️. What makes you think that If he is boldly approaching you then he is not boldy approaching other women. Especially if his game is pretty polished, you think we ain't approaching other women, okay?
Chasing men and asking a man on a date are two different things 🙄. People who follow these rules instead of just being nice and putting yourself out there are sad.
@@kendrickf-d669580% of men are.
@Ella I agree 💯. Everything you said is what I remember and my perspective growing up.
One thing I have noticed if I’m all dressed up and have my makeup done I don’t get hit on very much. But if I’m in sweat pants and no makeup I get hit on so much more. It took me a long time before I finally figured out I just looked less intimidating that way and like I would be less likely to reject them. It’s terrible because if I’m looking like a mess I usually don’t want to talk to anyone but when I dressed up I really don’t mind the extra attention because I’m feeling confident. It’s all so damn backwards.
Wrong , NO MEN ARE INTIMIDATED BY WOMEN . They hit on u because you're not hiding behind makeup
I've observed the same
@Val Wow. Thanks for the insight.
@Val-cb6hm D) they believe it doesn't take much effort to impress, date, or sleep with you.
also girls are hotter in sweatpants etc. sometimes...doesn't make you feel like youre chasing someone who is fake but someone who actually has real values
Honestly I get this. I'm a straight woman but even I get major anxiety approaching other women in a completely friendly way, especially if they are in large groups. I know not all women are catty, rude and snarky because I've known many women who are not. But the anxiety still lingers from the bad catty encounters I've had with other ladies. When they're bad they can be really bad.
My mom told me since I was a teen(I'm 22 now) to be very wary of women cuz of her experiences with them. She doesn't have any friends anymore, I realize its her unfortunate experience and anecdotal but I won't lie between this and all of the stuff I've been seeing on youtube for the past 3 yrs I definitely feel more suspicious towards them.
I get very anxious when guys approach me because I have a lot of experience with them following me And acting inappropriately to me from young ages
@Okii5678 ngl I've never once in my life heard a guy say "ew" but I'm sorry if they're making fun of you
I feel the same! I'm a straight woman too but I believe its because I went to an all girl school and it was a terrible time for me, that I feel anxious talking to other women. Especially women who are pretty and seem to have their stuff together. But there are other women whom I do approach and chat to and I don't feel as overwhelmed or self-conscious interacting with them. So, I'm not saying I understand the male experience fully, but I can sympathise.
@@markusmath3421 lmao no wonder she has no friends. I've noticed that most, if not all of the girls I've encountered that say they don't wanna be friends with women (more accurately that they CANT make any friends with women) are the ones who have bad perceptions of women. Like ofc if you think women are snakey and vile then you're not gonna get along with many women.
I'm glad you guys responded to her video. What's funny is that in her previous video she told of the time she was approached in the gym by a guy who tried flirting with her in the most cliché way while she was busy working out. When she turned him down, he went away and a few moments later she saw him pulling the exact same moves on other women at the gym. It pretty much illustrates what Aba said, the guys who still approach girls now are mostly the ones who just don't give a f*ck.
it's just "one exemple" come one. The internet sphere is tiny, compare to reality
Bruh.
exactly 😂
dudes that are like this I think have low empathy and more sociopathic or narcissistic tendencies, but of course women like the confidence
@@bleepbloop7039 No....they just harden themselves so the rejection doesn't effect them, and they move on.
There’s a reason why dating apps are so commonly used and for many men its their only form of “approaching” women. Nowadays, social skills have declined overall, confidence to approach isn’t common, and fear of rejection/ being labeled as a creep is at a all time high
Before you could only be labelled a creep by them/their friend group. Now it’s the whole world.
Yeah idk about that. I've approached guys before when I was dating and I'd be rejected most of the time. Dating apps are just a guarantee that there's some attraction but not a guarantee towards relationship.
The sad part is, dating apps are horrible for men. Especially because most women aren’t on them. The ratio is 5:1… men are better off trying figuring out their social anxiety then hiding behind their phone on dating apps.
@@nathalieli7617 you got rejected because you approached only the top 10% of men. Others would have said yes.
I agree.
The one who looks like an African taxi driver = ABA
The one who looks like Haitian minister= PREACH
Hahahahaa 😂😂😂
The one who dresses like bill Cosby =ABA
The one who dresses like a pimp: PREACH
The one time I approached a group of women at a bar, I had a cool conversation with their guy friends (they were all coworkers at an insurance company), one of whom was kind enough to buy me a round, and immediately after one of the women who I was NOT interested in, began berating me in front of everyone over how poor I was, and that I didn't pay my own bills, because I didn't answer quickly enough what car insurance I had. I'm pretty sure I made double or triple what they did, but I was too gentlemanly to say anything for fear of making her much nicer friends feel bad. Long story short, the stereotype of the gross trashy woman gatekeeping access to her cuter, sweeter friends is true.
The fridge always protects the snacks fr
@@dripkidd8572 Yo... I'm totally stealing that!
Some of you write the cheesiest, most cringe rage bait comments ever. That never happened. Any schizophrenic now has access to this internet and can come up with these stories and yall are so gullible to eat it up 💀
Guys I think we found the gatekeeping woman💀
@@ejhdbegbeidishdj9358you never spoken to the attractive girl in a group and her other friends get in the way? It happens quite a lot
I was in a relationship for 9 years, married for 4 of those years, and when that ended, I tried putting myself back out there, going to the gym, trying to have friendly conversations with women but not if they were clearly uninterested, and not asking them out, just making conversation to build my social skills back up. It was going well and I was feeling better, but then I made the mistake of going on dating apps.
Men, if you want to kill your self-esteem, go on dating apps after a breakup. It works wonders. I've never felt such a lack of confidence before!
The upside is it helped me realize that I don't want a relationship just to say I'm in one. I only want to bother if it's clear that the woman is into me from the start. I won't approach any more. I know that likely means I'll be single for the rest of my life, but after a 9 year relationship with a selfish, shallow narcissist, being single isn't that bad of a thing.
I wouldn’t give up if I was you. Dating apps are the worst thing I won’t lie. But approaching as well as social circles work wonders. Especially if you got some type of status, good personality or good looking. If not just get your money up and join the passport bros. Go to a different country (especially if you white somewhere like india is a good place) and you’ll meet a solid girl who’s traditional af. Might go sideways (after all it’s always a dice roll) but you can always roll again at the end of the day. Don’t give up man, that’s all I say. I think life becomes meaningless and empty when you do and as corny as it sounds there is someone that wants you out there, you just gotta find it!
"Men, if you want to kill your self-esteem, go on dating apps after a breakup. It works wonders. I've never felt such a lack of confidence before!"
For real though, cracked me up. I'm right there with you, though I was only married for a couple of years. Hope someone endearing shows up in your life.
@@AS-ie6id the man said he was done, shut the hell up😂
imo you should just find a social life and from there you should only ask women out who you can trust not to mock you on tiktok because she cares about you 1% and doesn’t just see you as some old guy.
maybe I'm just an ignorant youth since I'm like 20 but, if you was my friend id tell u to stop being a puss. 8 point something billion people are on this planet, we have planes and more than half of that are women. figure it out and stop being puss. go get a testosterone bump from the gym and ride that shit out until you find someone. I'm definitely not attractive but my ego is so inflated it makes them think i am. Arrogance is definitely my shield. All I've got to my name is some juvenile humour and a bench pr of 135kg. If i found somebody anyone can. I still bang out a set of push ups for a pump before i take out my girl for confidence. everyone is insecure in some ways. For me its my height I'm like 5'9, i feel like god was just tryna humble me but it just backfired and made me more cocky. Don't get demoralised be a man and firm it. Pain is only temporary. Mind over matter.
My last ex cheated on me after four years and told me the reason was "You're good enough but he might be better", I haven't dated since. Hearing that from her broke me more than I want to admit, and I can't bear to put myself out there and risk getting hurt like that again.
I am sorry for you terrible experience. You are doing well preventing this to happen again.
This hypergamous instinct is rampant. Get a passport or be a monk. Western women spoil each other's relationships with words like that.
Mate don't let one person dictate your life.
I walked in one my ex cheating, its not that deep.
2 years later she was in my dm begging me to come to a party. I'm talking, leaving her on read within 2 weeks the same message with love hearts and xoxoxoxo. It was pathetic, she's alone and I'm happy without her.
Guy literally was overweight and had acne at 30, guy had no money etc. She did it out of insecurity, and she's victim blaming.
Youre letting your emotions lead you, Men lead with logic no matter how much it hurts our feelings, that's the curse of being a "real man"
"Real men don't cry" is a saying for a reason, we dont have that luxury we have jobs to do and family to support.
Lmao coward
Sorry you weren't through that. I promise you that not all girls are like that, but the ones that are reasonable will probably be hard to find because they just don't put themselves out there or doll themselves up as much as much as the hoes do.
She put that in an insensitive way after cheating on you. Don't let that discourage you. Relationships don't often last till you / them deserve to be with each other or till they deserve to be on your level. So chill and trust the universe. There are plenty of fish in the sea, keep your head up be confident and start a new chapter.!
I'm very introverted and struggle with confidence issues. I have never approached a woman that I did not know at all. My best friend is a woman, but we met playing a sport and she approached me. She has helped me a ton to overcome my confidence issues and improve my social interaction skills. I am very grateful for her help. I know most of the people that I'm friends with because she's an extrovert and makes it easy to meet other people.
I met the woman that I'm currently pursuing through the friend group that my best friend helped me build. I would never have approached this woman if I had just seen her at a bar/grocery store. I don't think I would ever just "cold call" someone like that. I need something in common with you first.
As a fellow introvert, having an extroverted friend that can act as an ambassador for you is hugely helpful. The fact she's also a woman helps you tremendously as well since it acts as social proof for other women. Best of luck with your current pursuit!
Woman telling men how they actually feel and think exemplifies why men gave up 💀
Men gotta work their asses off to meet rising standards. It's actually sad, because people who are average *at best* are thinking they deserve models.
Well, well, well, how the turntables
@@strawberrysmoothi921 You don't even know what you feel 😄
I can't believe she's trying to "womansplain" our own feelings to us. The audacity. 😤
yeah nah :/ just check her channel dude, she's base
"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it." - Dave Chappelle.
But what was the method? Did they choke it, shoot it, stab it, burn it, or bludgeon it? Or all of the above?
@@V4Now All of the above, and the tool they used was feminism.
@@V4Now frog in the pot of water
They really did, though. Why should I be nice. If nice men are derided? Why should I be honest. When liars are revered. The list goes on and on and on. So guys end up just being f boys. Help the single independent lady to rack more graveyards in her attempt to live her best life. Then get back home to chill with the homies. Let's not forget how these ladies VIDEO record themselves running trains, twerking it up, doing the most insanely disgusting things EVER. Then expect you to treat her like she hasn't just made herself available to all those other people she has been with, all those years.
Maybe more appropriately feminists killed it. I think chivalry is romantic.
I'm a guy and I don't usually go up to women anymore. Not necessarily because I've had bad experiences, but because I've seen it happen to other guys. Especially in the age of cameras and viral videos, some women flirt/instigate a situation so men can approach them just to reject the men and feel better about themselves.
Personally, I don't care either way. I wouldn't approach super attractive women anyway... Normal women tend to have less attitude and mal intentions and are generally easier to talk to
As a woman who crushes on women daily, i understand the struggle lol idk why i feel so intimidated but i thing social media plays a hugeeeee role! we now see the inner workings and thoughts of the female mind and how some interpret receiving attention, its scary
I'm a 32yr old guy and I'll be honest, I've mostly just given up on finding someone.
Had a couple gfs in high school, got to college, and was treated like trash for even being interested in some women at clubs and bars (I even had one spit at me for asking if I could buy her a drink). I tried dating sites/apps where I'd set up a date, get there, and wait. Just for them not to show and send me a message about how I was a lot more ugly in person and my photos were misleading.
I'm not saying that this solo style is excellent for me, personally. I still have the urge to find someone to make my wife. But I don't see the benefit of wasting time to be made to feel shitty about myself. And I understand men that will choose to be alone rather than taken advantage of in the dating sphere.
Go abroad bro. The value systems are different and you'd fair better if you are a man of character. Just make sure you're constantly trying to improve yourself before that point.
You don't need a woman to be happy.
Your not ALONE my friend.
@@DarkGomito eh, yes and no
Bump these whores. Go where you are loved bro
It's like a person dying of thirst watching another person drown - each one thinks the other has it better.
I don't know if this is a Team Four Star reference or not
@@leunamreyo3663Krillin the short king 🗿
@@leunamreyo3663 It is!
@@demetriusean 🤣
You can learn how to swim but it is much harder to learn how to live without water.
The best way to aproach a girl you find attractive in a specific place is to talk to them and not try to close the thing but let it open ask for her name, present yourself, compliment her and then leave. I'm telling you if you happen to see her again it will be easier because you already talked to her you know her name and she will remember you because you didn't hit on her and ask her out or for her contact. And in that way you will have a lot of time to think what to say to her next time you see her and won't be pressured to close the thing, be successful, not get rejected, and be smooth.
The shy respectable guys that don't want to hit on a woman, are almost always the ones that we WANT to hit on us. The obnoxious loud brass ones are the ones that we cannot stand and they're the only ones that step up and ask us out. I hate it so much
Thats because the shy ones are used to be alone. They have better things to do than approaching women.
“Shy” no respectable yes. It’s okay to be introverted but shy is not attractive.
how about be an adult and use your words. step up. but i'm guessing you just want to cherry pick aspects of equality that are comfortable and beneficial only.
Maybe you should start approaching the shy respectable guys more before loud obnoxious dude approaches you??????
@@nathand4500 She’s sharing her experience being hit on. Chill with the assumptions and condescension.
I’ll take it one step further: The reason she hasn’t noticed a decrease in the men who approached her is the fact that the type of man that opt out of approaching women like her are the kind of men she don’t notice, or that are invisible to her to begin with.
Bingo
Facts!!!
Spot on
Haha cold world
Nerds and fuglies, basically
As a man I stopped approaching simply because I'm tired of dead ends. Getting a number or a snapchat isn't the issue, it's actually setting up the dates or scheduling a meet up is when all of a sudden the girls stop responding or starts responding slow asf. I've realized that my most successful times with women is when she was interested in me first, texted me first, wanted to mee up first etc. Overall I think women putting in more effort when it comes to pursuing men would be a win-win, guys are easy so it's not nearly as much of a hurdle.
At least you got a schedule response. Most men get left on read, so even flaking is a problem they wished they had.
Dude all my GFS have been the ones who did the approaching. All the girls that I approached have never worked out.
This is why I give out my number. I can't get ignored if i'm not sending the first message. I can't lie it's only worked a few times but I'm not tryna get numbers for zero correspondence anymore
A little tip for you, exchange numbers and don’t text her for a week
That's right. Always look for feedback. No feedback equals no interest.
Then there's me, who freezes up with anxiety when I get approached. Except at comic con tho, that adrenaline of excitement is intoxicating lol.
This really is an eye opener from men's perspective.
This is really sad and really self absorbed. But it's typical, so much for women being empathetic.
@@nathand4500 Sympathy maybe, but they can’t be empathetic. They are not men, how could they understand, I’m the person who would actually understand.
I have never heard the term "checking out of dating" before. But when I look around in my social circle, that seems to describe exactly what is happening. You'd think that online dating options make dating and finding relationships more accessible, but I notice it has made people throw in the towel instead.
Nobody's giving up, it's just the women only want the hottest man everybody else gets left out in the cold
if I may, it helps a lot if you skip online dating altogether and focus on simply making friends. meet new people with shared interests, and eventually you may catch feelings for somebody and vice versa. doing it that way also means you get to skip a lot of the "feeling the other person out" period of dating, because you already know this person. you don't have to worry about investing time, effort, and money into someone who is likely incompatible with you, because you already know who they are and probably have a good idea of that from the get-go
@@zuckdaddy1596 This is the way to go, especially if you can meet new people while doing something you enjoy. I know it's a hard pill for some to swallow, but hobbies that isolate you aren't conducive to finding a romantic partner. If you can meet someone who shares a hobby with you that gets both of you doing something in person, then your chances skyrocket compared to online interactions.
She really just said that men are telling her these things and how they feel, and her response is " nah, you lying."
I also wanna add: as a woman that also gets 'approached ' alot, as in men will walk by me and tell me they think I'm beautiful, hold doors open for me, etc, etc,. that's not the same as a man approaching me to try to have some sort of relationship with me. There's no rejection in simply complementing a girl, hearing"thank you" and then keeping it moving. These men that "approach" her are probably not taking the next step to have contact with her again, but she thinks that it's all one and the same.
That’s what I thought as well. She thinks someone saying good morning to her means interest.
That is actually a good point!
This makes sense. The men who date her,do they actually want to be with her? Probably not.
Very good point 💯
Yeah, especially when I was younger I got a lot of compliments on my appearance, but I have literally had maybe 2 men in my entire life ask me out on a date.
I'm glad a lot of the comments made me feel better about approaching men first. I was told it's a turn off to men if i reached out first or made the first move and that it is 'masculine'. But i'mma go ahead and pursue my crush. Whatever happens happens lol
May I ask, who typically told you it was a problem or "masculine" to approach guys you like and pursue them for mating? Men or women?
@@the90sbrain both really. my dad has told me to wait to be approached and to let men provide. ive seen guys act weird about getting asked out by my female friends. in my experience, no woman has told me specifically not to but its never mentioned either (but it does happen). if you ask a man out as a woman, you come off as desperate ive witnessed. its an old school mindset that people let limit their dating pool
@@brookethomas5158 Okay, fair. As a man though, seeing many other men have spoken out on this, we would love it if women approached and were more direct with empathy. The reason guys may avoid you is because for generations women haven't approached men like men do for women. Everything is on us. Most women don't like making the first move unless it's their ideal man or the guy the other girls are swooning over.
Also, If you listen to most dudes who allowed the woman to make the moves or lead in any shape or form, she usually got pig headed, resentful, and became a bully about it. Emasculating the man for having to do what the guy traditionally would do. Even with a one time thing, like asking the man out. That's why we get leery of women asking us out or taking the initiative in general. But, if the ladies made it to where you guys overall meant what you say and didn't attack us for your engagement or leadership, we would relax more and allow things to happen.
The problem is, the wrong people on all sides are following what others do for validation, instead of doing what works for them.
@@the90sbrain Its a group mentality/lack of empathy thing why there are so many women who reject men harshly. Its for views on the internet, entertainment for friends or to feel a sense of superiority or righteousness. Men who slut shame or troll online go through the same process pretty much. Nowadays it is easier to dehumanize and not see the perspective of the otherside.
And I agree about it being all sides. Most of the times I was asked out was a jokes. The first time I was actually asked out (he got his friend to do it), I thought it was a joke and was not ready to date. For 3 months I was ridiculed and called derogatory names by his friends for rejecting a guy who's face I never saw and tried my best to let down easily and honestly. We could all use some empathy.
I understand how much courage it takes for someone to do something like that (I don't blame that guy too much) which is why i know i would be scared out of my mind taking that leap. I dont know too many men in those relationships to understand your leeriness for women who do take initiative tho, but the best thing you can do if youre dating someone who belittles you or makes you feel small is having an honest discussion or breakup. It takes courage to do both, but think about the longterm w/ the expectation that that is who they are and that you cant change them. No one deserves poor treatment and I courage that people, no matter how hard it may be, stand up for themselves first.
@@brookethomas5158 I agree for the most part on what you said. Also, I'm sorry you experienced that moment in dating. It sucks for all of us, but it makes you see others worlds. Many men are avoiding women and dating now to not be attacked or labeled some type of sex offender. We really want to be with you guys as much as the weirdos who are typically approaching you, but we have experienced and seen too much. That's why you feel or think the way you do. It's all you know, just like us. Most of us decent/good ones, are chilling in our apartments, houses, cars, or have been convinced to buy passports and leave. If you want to meet guys like that or if any other ladies who are serious & interested in good mates. Get you an Xbox, Playstation 4/5, PC, Nintendo Switch, watch sports, WWE, Anime, and start hunting with what's left while you still can.
Once you guys get them, treat them well, and hang on for dear life. Unless, they are abusing you. Good luck.
"We're arguing against the caricature of what we perceive them as."
Whew Lord, truer words have never been spoken.
Personally I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place, the apps suck your soul out and make you feel worthless and approaching in person runs you the risk of being called a creep. But just the other day I decided to give approaching in person another go and it went great, she said no but that didn't bother me because it was nice to overcome that fear for once.
I was raised to be so mortified of being considered a creep that I never actually hit on anybody.
Just ain't worth the possibility of a false accusation.
That’s dumb asf. So you’re afraid of what people are gonna say ?
i think this is the truth of the situation today with young guys
@@vince11harris No, I'm afraid people will actually believe fake accusations and it could bring a lot of downsides. Don't tell me it's not an issue to be considered a creep by everyone around you.
@@vince11harris if people already label you a creep, you're much more vulnerable to all sorts of allegations
Ohhh shit.. y’all have found Michelle. The game of content pong is about to be INTERESTING
I know, right!?
I like her content. Her response was too uppity and lacked empathy.
Michelle is the truth 💪🏽👏🏽
Ikr, lol.
@@EMG725 Same and I agree with you. She is NEVER the one to miss the mark but damn did she with that one. It goes to show you that even your favorite creators aren’t socially aware outside themselves.
I'm a straight woman and even I'M intimidated by approaching Michelle 😭😂
I'm an average male and she doesn't intimidate me. Probably life experiences. I wouldn't marry her because I'm done with that. I'd be friends with her.
Same. I'm a woman and she is a bit too much for me.
I know that younger men are giving up on women because I have a brother and I hear what he talks with his friends
He always said this girl is calling me but I don’t want to waist my time and get a headache so many men are playing online and not answering their phones also they’re busy with their side hustle that they know that having a woman around is an inconvenience.
When I ask my brother if someone day he is going to married and have kids he said no because not many women are faithful and want to be accountable and responsible for their actions. Most of my brother’s friends think like that
They want someone who they can relay on if times get tuff but they don’t see that on most women.
The amount of anxiety and fear I feel just thinking about approaching someone and asking them out is astronomical. I was far braver over a decade ago before social media got as bad as it is now. Nowadays I'm afraid to wind up on a TikTok and labeled a creep just for asking for someone's number.
Of course, after my ex left a couple years ago it left me in a bad spot from a financial aspect as well. Frankly, I feel too insecure as to where I'm at in life to even consider asking someone out. Back home with my mom at 28 because I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore after my ex bailed. It's embarrassing.
Pick yourself up king. Downtime is fine and feeling shit is fine too but don't make it a lifestyle. You can be better, she never deserved you. Find yourself and your strengths again. Forget about women for a while
Hey we all got a few bumps and challenges in life. Rooting for you to keep on going 💪
there's something i want you to register deeply in your head, they are human as much as you.
it's like that with you because unconsciously, you put them on a pedestal either as a judge who looks down at you or a monarch looking at her people.
i repeat, they are human.
There’s a lot of people in the same place as you, it’s crazy times right now. Don’t give up!
Sorry to hear that you’re in a rough spot. But that’s just a phase of life. Things will get better. You’re young, and as you gradually find the work and friends that make you happy and independent, the rest will start to fall into place.
Don’t underestimate the power of break-ups. They can cut you to the core. So let yourself heal and grow in a new direction. It’s not something that can be rushed, nor is it a race.
I have 0 men come up to me 😂 I've just learned that if I'm interested in a man, I go up to him and just ask him out. That's how I got my boyfriend now. He has thanked me many times for it. Because he told me he would of never approached me because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. He just assumed I would be. So I agree with you guys. I think alot of our male friends say the same.
On top of potentially making you feel uncomfortable, there are many potential possibilities that make even conversing with a woman dangerous; being rejected is the least of our worries, as our entire way of life can be uprooted with a single online post.
"Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something." - Anonymous
According to dating coach Ryan Hussey, only a small percentage of men approach women regardless of what may happen. The ones who approach no matter what are most likely players (Chads, Tyrones, bad boys) who don't care. But as a result, it starts this cycle where women will think all men are trash because the only ones they've ever interacted with were trash. Most men, the good ones, wait for the right moment to approach a woman. If she's with her friends, talking to another man (even if it's her gay friend), is doing work, eating, reading, etc., he will not approach her. It's even harder now to find a moment for men to approach women in todays world of cancel culture, modern feminism and MeToo.
@@neonnwave1but why can’t men have bigger balls. They want women to have the bigger balls to approach. That’s a fking turn off to me if I have to show more courage than a man.
@@annco9801 why can't we have bigger balls lmao... women be telling us for 7 years about approaching in public, in bars, "leave us alone, I am with my girls, I don't need a man interrupting" etc etc.
all it takes is one photo, one tweet, one video and we lose our entire job and we get hated by the internet
@@annco9801 As Aba said in the video, if a man has something to lose (job, reputation, money, etc.) he's gonna be more cautious and not take any risks. When a woman approaches a man, she has nothing to risk. When a man approaches a woman, he risks being labelled a creep, perv, stalker, etc. and getting cancelled, which could result in him losing his job, finances, and/or more. It has nothing to do with having bigger balls, it's about being safe. If you knew that eating fugu can result in death if not prepared right, would you still risk eating it not knowing if you'd find it delicious? Same rule applies with men approaching women in this day and age since it's a gamble.
Went to a happy-hardcore party at a small venue my friend invited me to. A very laid back crowd. I got the vibe that most of the guys there were kind of nerdy. Not exactly an environment full of super Chads or anything like you'd see at a typical club. I had to throw back 4 shots before I finally got the courage to talk to some women. While I was forcing myself hard to socialize with the opposite sex, I noticed this 6' 3" woman in the middle of the dance floor. I thought she was pretty but never thought she would talk to me with her being 6" taller than me. I went and had 2 more drinks. I noticed NO ONE had approached her for the past hour. Which suprised me, but then I realized that this is a venue full of normal guys like me who've been demoralized by insta thots and tinderellas who won't even give you a passing glance if you're under 6'. I wound up introducing myself after throwing back another shot and we talked and it turns out she was really sweet. We had a good time getting to know eachother that night. But the point I'm trying to make is this: less men are approaching and i saw it that night. Shit is hard out here. I was so certain this chick was going to blow me off that I almost didn't talk to her, and just about every other guy in there probably felt the same way.
Women over 6 foot aren't approached not because men find them intimidating but because most men don't find them attractive.
I love Michelle’s videos she is very honest and outspoken and funny
This is a great response to her vid :) its hard to speak to men bc they assume u want them, but ima try speaking to men more lol
Michelle is a liar that pretends she use to be fat for clout. She has no pictures of herself fat, she has no loose skin or scars from skin removal. She is a liar.
I’m a 42 yr old Black woman that’s been called cute. I roller skate; wear video game, comic book, and manga shirts; and have a book bag covered in pop culture pins and keychains. I’ve been approached by dudes as young as 22 and as old as 62. Having been made fun of and called ugly growing up, I’m still very surprised when men want to talk to me. Some have been professionals my age and some were not put together at all.
Because of the bullying I developed social anxiety disorder so I understand being awkward socially. When a socially awkward dude approaches me I am very patient and usually engage. Now if he is aggressive and/or rude, I’ll tell him so and excuse myself. I’ve also been touched, grabbed, and followed by male strangers and developed a fear of men. Therapy is helping a lot.
I write all of that to say this: my experiences as a Black woman that’s socially awkward, nerdy, and geeky are not often spoken of. Are we rare? Nope! It depends on where you go.
I just live like this: my experiences are mine and I hear and respect the experiences of others. 😊
Sounds similar to my experience. I'm attractive but not conventional for a Black woman.
Had all kinds of weird experiences in the dating world with guys that sometimes makes me weary. Not often approached in clubs but being friendly gets smiles and looks.
I've developed a tough, quirky outer shell after seeing a pattern of my more conventionally attractive female friends being pestered, stalked and sexually assaulted. Not that they asked for it but I just didn't want to show up on the radar of these sexual bullies.
I found my socially awkward girls!!!✊️✊️✊️
@@x25violator let's goooooooo.
As a socially awkward 19 year old, I've never been approached at all as people say I look 13. But I only have gotten looks from old men
*looks at profile pic*
…yeah, I’d do you :)
I literally met my husband( 11years married, 13 together) because of his sister. But he said if we had not been introduced he may not have approached me. 🤷♀️ when I met him no one else existed to me, still don’t outside of they are a person. I always tried/try to be kind to anyone trying to approach. Because unless they are being overly aggressive or creepy why be mean? Be up front but kind. Maybe that is just me, because I know I struggle to step out of my comfort zone so I give everyone that same grace.
Men are doing this new thing where they tell you, "hey, you look beautiful and I hope you enjoy your day" and then they kind of run away. I have male friends that had to explain what the hell that was. I call it the run away compliment.
I was a late bloomer. I'm finally at a point socially where I think I could muster up courage to approach women ,but its at the wrong time because now on top of the normal anxiety you have to be worried about getting put on blast all over social media for 'being a creep'. Just doesn't seem worth the risk, I have enough self confidence issues as is lol
I'm a reasonably attractive woman in my 20s and I can tell you that what you said about 'decent' men not approaching women, is true. I had to approach my husband. He was too shy and, as he put it, didn't want to be a creep or weird me out. Furthermore, I think most dudes prefer online dating nowadays. A lot of my single friends complain about men not approaching them at bars or wherever. It's just not something that's done anymore.
I don’t even think most guys like online dating, outside of the fact that it’s a little more “mutual” in terms of approaching someone. Apps are a bit of a trap in itself.
online dating is good only for that top percentile of men. It has recently took a toll on my emotional health, I'm just not even going to attempt anymore, praying i meet someone in person now. I consider myself a decent guy but for some reason women just don't match with me or i never get past the stage of successfully setting up the date when i do match
Yep respect to you for approaching your husband. More women prob need to start approaching if they a decent man or the man they want. Women can't be lazy anymore and expect any man to approach, they have to put in some sort of effort which can be a good thing and a bad thing
Women can't whinge about men not approaching if they're not willing to do it themselves. I made the moves when I was younger and got my husband.
Same here, I had to approach my boyfriend cuz he was more reserved. I have no problem doing the approaching, talking to someone and least seeing if we can have an interesting conversation.
As a women I have never understood why women can't be more respectful to a guy approaching you. There is a nice way to say no and to leave the man with his dignity in tact. Laughing, roasting him up with your friends, making him feel small and putting him on display is super horrible and unnecessary. I try to be overly kind. I even had a women approach me the other day and I let her know that I was super flattered but I was in a relationship. I didnt want her to feel mocked and rejected even though I am straight. I think being kind will give a guy the confidence to approach the next gal. We are helping each other out women by not leaving a man destroyed after an encounter with us.
This is good behaviour. Thanks for being like that. Majority of men will walk away with admiration about you trust me. How I wish other girls were like that, But alas, majority of girls seem to like toxic behaviour more.
Don’t blame women. Although, we are the perpetrators. However, there are so many men who want to send us back to the kitchen. So many men who have not just other lovers, but other families. And, women are just now getting freedom. This is just the seed that millennia of degenerate men planted. But is not okay
That's how dating used to work, but now women use men as an ego boost. They did a study where women were flirted with by an attractive man, and then afterward a less attractive man came up and asked them out. They compared this to the womens behavior if they were approached by the less attractive man after having been rejected by the handsome man. What they found was that when the woman was rejected by the attractive man, she was more likely to reject the less attractive man.
The reasoning behind this was that when she's rejected by the attractive man, it impacts her self esteem negatively and uses her rejection of the less attractive man to boost her ego back up. The fact that many women today cannot decipher the difference between sexual attention and relationship attention is only making this phenomenon worse. They think that the men that want to sleep with them actually care about them and want to have a relationship with them. So you're left with a bunch of average women who think they should be able to get into a relationship with exceptional men, and therefore reject men who are actually appropriate matches for them.
@@prashanthb6521 thanks. I hope anyone who walks away from me feels good about themselves always.
@@jth_printed_designs why can't we realize that it takes so much courage for any man, especially what people might consider a less attractive man to put himself out there to approach a woman?
I find it flattering that something about me caught someone else's eye. Femininity is supposed to be soft and beautiful and eye catching. It is a Ying to male yang. What's sad is that because women have stopped doing and being feminine many of us will end up alone rejecting male advances because we have hardened ourselves so much that we can no longer tell the difference between a player and a genuine male looking for something long term and stable. Thanks for the insight!
I see this as a good thing. Men should be more picky about who they approach, and should really do so more in social settings. Like a party, bbq, happy hour, kickball etc. Both people should find each other attractive and engage. "Chasing" women is not the way to go.
Pretty much what I have been doing as a 22 year old young man this shit is impossible getting dumped for trying to get my life right but still not having it all really puts a damper on dating I decided to focus on me build myself into the man that I envisioned and I will get to pick. BACK THEN THEY DIDNT WANT ME NOW IM HOT THEY ALL ON ME !! 💪🏿
I’m a man in my 30s and I’m going to openly admit that the current dating scene makes me not want to bother altogether anymore.
Hell even in the gym lately I noticed I’ve been keeping my distance due to all of the uptick of lady influencers calling out “gym creeps” who are most likely just trying to mind their own.
Granted I do talk to women at places where I work but it’s usually over mundane things and nothing else.
I have confidence that this period will eventually change.
Edit:
Did not expect so many responses for this 😆
Appreciate the positive thoughts and feedback gang. Feels good knowing I ain’t the only one going through it.
It will change, just not in our generation's lifetimes. So we need to accept that fact and become content or we will die suffering in the end.
I miss the early 2000's time was simple back then
Don't give up on talking to women, just be more aware of the type of woman you are approaching because you're not gonna find the good ones at the gym
I'm in the same boat at 35. I've been more concentrated on myself with going to the gym and my finances.
Maybe in 20 year something will change, hopefully sooner.
Lol!! ❤️ well this was a surprise! I always wanted to get into a verbal CZcams battle with one of my favorite CZcamsrs! 💪🏽 😂
This has sparked an interesting conversation
CZcamsrs giving their viewpoints and listening, keeping it real
I never thought I will see a day when I will seek the help of a Sorceress in order to keep my marriage and family together.
So, how did you went about it? Cos I’m currently on that path also.
@@DavidVelasquez9 Well, I got the help I was seeking from a woman called Luana Kae Branigan she can be of help to you.
@@peterwilliams6361 Thank you very much, I really do appreciate this
@David Velasquez try Jesus, he is free of charge and reliable.
Men approach but most of them are not ones you want, but most just stare and don't say anything. But if you smile at them they will approach.
I approached a girl I liked in high-school, she and her friends made sure I never liked anyone else for the duration of high-school. Not worth losing sanity over.
Damn bro I feel for you
What happened?
Lol sure.
Same, did that as a girl and the bs came from nearby women, not even the boy. Didn't approach anyone again until I changed schools in my senior year
@@claff4573 what is it so hard to believe?
Of course she hasn't noticed. She fine AF. Men will always approach a good looking woman.
The French switches mid conversation are 🤌🏾 *chef’s kiss*
Aba switched their names so convincingly I forgot who was who for a second 😆
I had to Google it again lol
😏😉🙊🙉🙈
Gaslighting kings lol
A lot of men are still respectful and kind, too. It’s unfortunate that they feel like they’re constantly being watched under a microscope, just waiting to be called a creep for simply being attracted to someone. I like the point Aba made about how we’re just arguing with a caricature of the other gender. It’s like we’re talking AT each other instead of TO each other.
We see the videos on tic tok where even looking at a girl can get you in trouble or embarressed online. It's just not worth it anymore.
Who wants to be killed over saying no
You hit the nail on the head. Either you're talking to a caricature, or you ARE the caricature.
@@YouKnowMeDuh ‼️‼️
I'm just remembering this one timebut I was brand-new in school and because I decided to be assertive I approached a group of kids and introduced myself and they all got up and walked away. and I still remember that and I still don't approach a group of people readily anymore. I can't imagine what it must be like for guys when that's just like a regular Tuesday
I'm going on 8 years of not being in a relationship. I've only ever been in one relationship. This was when I was 18 and now I'm 26. I don't approach women for multiple reasons some of it's anxiety and some of it is because of watching other people in my life going through problems with the woman they are with to the point and just kind of makes me go I don't really wanna be with no one. And I also don't approach a lot of women because most women that I have met they I'm even remotely interested even with my same age range are not as mentally as mature as I would want them to be and I don't want to be with anyone who is mentally 10 years younger than me like they are in highschool and I don't need people in my life who also try to control me because of what has happened to myself and people around me. I'm glad I'm single right. Got a house in my name. A car in my name. Just get money more down pact and get in shape. And at this point I would much rather have a woman approach me because at that point I know what you want or what you might want trying to get with me.
For some women, such as her, it must be nice to be this oblivious to your surroundings and be able to formulate your opinion based on that
That's kinda how your own personal life experiences work tho 😂
@@tiffanykim2773 I don't post it out in video format tho. Worked at a club myself so I know the dynamic they speak of.
Plus it's 2023, y'all wanna be equal - approach us too - ask em out too🤣
@@tiffanykim2773 yeah, but that doesn't mean that you base that off of everything. If you're ignorant or have no knowledge in something, just say that. Tbf though, I think she did say in her experience.
@@tiffanykim2773 for those that avoid information and knowledge then yes you are correct.
@J to be fair, I am okay with being the first to ask out when/if there are obvious hints - but the amount of time I got ghosted or led on alone is not worth it for me. After like 22, I spent about 7 years just being a homebody, working, and having hobbies. Then I met someone foreign, who was upfront about who I was and she's still committed to seeing this out as well, so we shall see how it goes.
Immense respect for the dedication of some guys (and some ladies) who go out and get rejected time and time again tho - it's definitely not for me
MICHELLE!!! I'm glad you're responding to her. She's fantastic :D
Fantastic in what regard? The fact that she attracts male simps.
As a woman who has fortunately got a wonderful fiance, I can tell you women are making it hard for themselves, men are getting fed up, tired, going their own way, going to the phillipeans and I'm tired of women ignoring this. Women have high expectations and don't want to settle for the average man. They are missing out on such fruitful happiness
I don’t approach anyone at all. I’ve had girlfriends and aren’t opposed to dating, but I just don’t want to because I don’t have the cajones to. Every girlfriend I’ve had has been from a natural and steady connection.
Story time:
I remember one time there was this girl I liked in highschool, I had a class with her. we hung out so much that she asked me to walk her to next class, So I thought we were hitting it of pretty well. One day I asked her if she wanted to see a movie or something. She then told me she just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything, I didn't have a problem with it. That was until the next school day when she hooked up with my older brother. Now, I wasn't mad at my brother or anything, in fact I understood why. I was more nerdy and honestly overweight and had hella acne . My brother was tall, good looking and was oozing with fuckboy energy. I was more upset with the girl because she wasn't honest with me, and pretty soon I started noticing the same patterns with other girls I was interested in (edit: by this I mean that they were trying to be nice when rejecting me. But in turn it just hurt me a bit more than being straight forward). That was five years ago and since then, I haven't been or thought about being in a relationship since. And now looking back on it I'm kinda glad. Recently I decided to work on myself. I legit looked in the mirror one day and said "I'm gonna get sexy, and I ain't gon let none of y'all bitches hit". I lost 100 lbs in a year and I'm currently planning to start an exercise routine. I've also gained some level of confidence and feel better than ever. This probably has nothing to due with this video, but I just wanted to share this story in case anybody wanted to hear it. Keep your heads up.
Well done!! I wish you all the abercrombie and Fitch model good looks with the vibe of a demi God energy!! You deserve it!!
Yoo good for you that's great you worked on yourself and didn't let it get to you I like what you said lol "I am gonna get sexy and ain't gon let none of y'all bitches hit" 💀hahaha I need this on a shirt so when I go to the gym I wear it lol
This is related somewhat and relatable. i commend you brother, girls and grown women like her stay playing games until the day they hit the wall. She showed you her true nature and its a good thing you didn't get involved.
Amazing work on losing 100lbs, i respect any overweight person who goes to the gym or loses weight, its really really encouraging. When I workout and see other guys who are already ripped or swole? im like good for them. But when i see overweight people at the gym? 👏👏👏 a friend of mine also lost 85 lbs and stays in shape to this day, its really tough work to cut fat. So brother keep going and stay strong, stay focused 💪💪👏👏 Who knows? A loyal one out there will want you
… I honestly think that you would still be here writing this paragraph if she had simply said “No thanks, I’m not attracted to you.” You win some, you lose some.
Keep lifting ,there's a lot of pain to develop the gigachad phase , you're in the middle of it ,keep at it
I think our current generation also lacks community. We think we have it because of social media but these ppl aren’t with you on the day to day. It helps to surround yourself with ppl in real time to practice socializing with multiple personalities in order to defined who your and what you like. That’ll build up confidence. Our generation needs to get off their phones and go find hobbies, so we can find like minded individuals. That’s how you create a community of love
Preach 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yep
Very true. I feel sorry for people who grew up with social media. I think it will be hardest for them.
No our generation lacks FEMALE ACCOUNTABILITY!!! I'm sick of all you pretentious children walking around while skirting every consequence or rule while simultaneously yelling at the top of your voices on every roof _"STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!! STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!! STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!!"_ It's driving us men crazy. It's why we're done. We abandoned everything, schools, workforce, marriage, fatherhood. You're not worth it.
Interestingly even "meet up" groups are starting to put in their descriptions that fraternizing is not allowed. So the possibility of finding an organic romantic connection via shared interest is seemingly actively being stamped out. It's a tough seen. People do want to connect in the most meaningful ways, but we can't seem to get out of each others way, and refuse to truly understand each other, for fear of hurt(and perhaps fear of loss of identity if tied strongly enough to that fear). But forgetting existence is hurt and joy together.
I've been going to the gym for 25 years. I think it's disrespectful to hit on someone at the gym. They're there to work out. However, I have seen some women and men that want to get hit on at the gym. They're usually wearing something that's not very appropriate. I'm married and I love and respect my wife. I'm also slightly attractive. However, when I see an attractive woman at the gym, I tend to stay away from her. I can tell that some of them are wondering why I don't say anything to them other than "hello" or they think I'm stuck up. No, I just don't want you to think I'm a married creep that's hitting on you. I'm very respectful to all of the women I see. If I'm at the door and any women walks up, old, young, attractive, not attractive, I'll open the door for you. The older ladies know I'm being respectful. The younger ones think I'm hitting on them. It's frustating. When you're not trying to hit on them and are just being respectful or cordial, they think you're hitting on them. However, when you ignore them, they think you're scared or stuck up. I really feel for you single guys.
To all men, just do what works for you best. As a female(and thats not all female) I prefer going after who I'm interested in. For me is practical because I'm not a fan of wasting ppls time, I'm aware that as a women I will have more men around me than the ones I would be interested in. Due to women being more scared about being targeted as prey by males, then I believe it should be up to women to approach men as that is them giving a signal that they are comfortable to be approached by them. I've been approached by men on the streets walking to work or home, and I rejected most of them due to being scared, others they were straight up disgusting. And a few took my lack of insterest just okay and were quite kind men. Every person is diferent, every situation is diferent. There are bad men and women out there so just stay safe, physically and emotionally.
As someone who’s gone smack at dudes I honestly feel like only women who have actually approached men themselves can somewhat understand how nerve wracking it is to just walk up to someone out of thin air and try and spark a convo to get a number. Unless you’re Uber charismatic, handsome and like you both eluded to - tall - you’re not always gonna have the confidence and “what have I got to lose” attitude to walk up to women you find attractive and try and spit game. It takes tons of practice and lots of self esteem to do that and not grow bitter from being rejected or fearful of even approaching. I say this as a woman who gets approached by men when I go out & I always give out my number (or take theirs) even if I know I’m not interested just so that the guy does not have to deal with the rejection right then and there lol
My advice to women who feel like they’re not getting approached is to be approachable. If you’re out somewhere and see a guy you think is cute - make eye contact and smile at him, maybe a little wave. Lol and if he’s interested that will give him an opening to say “ok she notices me too lemme start an interaction” it takes two.
👍🏾
Go smack that's that DMV slang right there!
lmaooooo it really is as simple as a little reciprocation like u said. Cold bitch ain't a good look.
It’s like fishing…you gotta put your worm out there lol
@@darienm def gotta be around the way
I've watched your videos for a few years now and I'm only now noticing how beneficial the way you structure your videos are. You do it in a way that almost feels like a conversation/discussion instead of a "here's why I'm right and you're wrong" kind of approach. It helps a lot because it allows for us as the viewers to see one perspective as well as your response with your own perspectives. And that's what's so necessary these days. No one has a clue about how to talk to each other and actually come to a conclusion about the topics that makes sense for us as people to move forward.
I've never really known how difficult it was for men as the usual initiator for dating/marriage, until I watched your videos. I'm not exactly the top pick either, but it helps me to realize that they are also having a tough time and we could help each other when it comes to reviving confidence around dating. This commentary was necessary thank you.
Same! I love it!
Well said.
man i do not envy the dating scene. i met my husband my senior year of high school and it really was such an instant click and a where have you been all this time kind of situation, we were really blessed. i feel sad for friends just grasping at anything and nothing coming of anything. a guy friend of mine in high school went through every girl in our theater group (cringe i know lol) and we used to playfully make fun of him for it, but now looking back dude had balls and it worked out well for him thankfully as he and his girlfriend are still together. it's hard out there for dudes and it's hard out here for girls who never are taught to think about what they're going through either.
Cry more
Well I've been educated! I like this channel because what they speak about actually makes logical sense.
I really didn't know this. I figured men had grown accustomed to rejection and (due to practice) were more desensitized to it.
I've noticed that men look but rarely approach me anymore. I get it now!
I'll have to start putting in a little work and get those conversations started! I previously thought men would be offended at such brazenness🤣🤣
I really enjoy Michelle's content and listening to her takes on different things, and I really enjoy this channel for the same reason. Seeing the "streams cross" like this has been wild. I was waiting for this response after she had mentioned Aba and Preach a couple times, and I'm really glad that it's been chill. 💖
Same! I like both channels and was glad both were chill
Same here! Love her content and was waiting for this response!
Same...i watch her too but i wonder how long this back and forth is going to last 😊.
whats her channel?
@@randyd9414 My thoughts might probably offend you that is her channel.
5:57. I do. But there’s several elements that have to be in place. I gotta be in a good mood and confident/optimistic. But sadly there another layer. I’m at my best when the end goal isn’t a date. The end goal is having a good conversation. The times where I made a great impression on a girl from an approach ended in a nice talking to you. And then I’m gone. Never a date later or somethin.
I have no problem to talk to an attractive woman in a group thanks to the pickup community. The best advice I got was "talk to the whole group to prove that you are socially adjusted, then when everyone is comfortable you can get the girl".
But I would never approach a hot girl that is alone, I feel like it would creep her out and bother her.
9:53 is super poignant "we are not understanding the others experience, and we're arguing against the caricature of what we perceive them as"
That line stuck with me too. Very well put.
Totally true. It's not that guys don't approach girls, it's mostly that "boys that women want" don't approach them. And we can see it on dating apps too : their standards got more restrictive.
Honestly, i've reduced quite a bit approaching women year after year down to almost zero (offline). If it's not about being spoke to like shit, you're just ignored, and if everything goes fine, it's mostly just small talk that usually won't get you a phone number in the end. I rather enjoy my time alone or with my friends rather than probably wasting it.
Exactly, ain't nobody got time for one word Responses and a lack of interaction until it's something that benefits you
"if it's not being spoke to like shit, you're just ignored and if everything goes fine, it's mostly just small talk."
Summed up to a tee. There's literally no incentive to try lol. Waste of time.
I used to be fine with it. All confidence all the time.
Now I’m happily engaged, afraid if I ever end up in the dating world I’ll be out of touch.
I’ve even heard stories of guys giving up on pursuing women. Because in the modern society there’s just more options available to them to bother taking things further.
I get approached maybe once a year lol but I do see a lot of men smiling at me but won’t come up to me and I don’t blame them. Women are mean. Especially if they don’t find you attractive.
You have approach anxiety too, huh?
Exactly! Women are mean and don't even find most Men attractive.
@@bambooforrestswhy would she want to have bigger balls than a man. It’s a turn off to see a bitch made scared man afraid to approach. If she has to approach a man cause he’s more scared then that’s a major turn off.
I'll still approach every once in awhile when it's a woman I'm really attracted to, but I definitely don't 'hunt' as actively as I used to. Reason being is that so many women are straight hostile and try to make a mockery out of me for simply talking to them. Like it's cool if you aren't interested, but don't intentionally try to shame me and make me seem like a weirdo for shooting my shot. Like damn at least lie you have a boyfriend and we move on ☠️
id try volunteering or joining a class, go to friends parties, meet as many people as possible
Which is my whole issue. If you don't like me cool just say so and I'll go on my mery but don't disrespect me for no reason
@@kaimobley5324 fr that shits lame
Damn, it’s that bad? I was dating in the 90s and that’s what we did. Lie and say we had a boyfriend. We didn’t feel the need to mock or be mean. Plus we didn’t want no problems lol
@@TriRacialAmericana thank you for being a good soul.
She actually asked the audience if it’s just her so I don’t see how she’s saying your opinion isn’t relevant/untrue. If anything, she was trying to broaden her understanding.
It’s seems like you are taking this a little dramatically
This whole discussion started because she focused only on the asshole men doing the approaching and making it seem like asshole guys are stopping or avoiding women because women reject those assholes where in the response (this video) its in fact, the average guys who aren't approaching like this because they don't want to be a bother as much. The response to THIS video was more broad but it should've been like that from the jump. The argument was skewed. Facts were spoken in both sides but it all started from a misunderstanding.
My partner thought I was out of his league when I asked him why I had to ask him out on a date.
If she's going on purely anecdotal personal experience, then I will counter with purely anecdotal personal experience: every guy I know, whether family, friend or work colleague, has given up on women. Each of them has individually come to the conclusion that it's just not worth the time, energy and money only to end up getting cheated on, dumped and/or ghosted in a year or two. As for me, I realized after my last gf suddenly ghosted me, that my life got way better without the additional stress. I became happier and more productive, so I'm probably done too.
same unfortunately. a lot of dudes i work with and have worked with have also began checking out.
do the men in your friend group hangout more often now that they have given up on women?
Exactly this. Her biggest mistake is conflating anecdotal evidence to be hard core facts and using that as a prop for her argument. Also made her come off as conceited
This is not one-sided, I know a few women who have completely lost the interest on dating or the idea of marriage or being with a man, myself included. Either because they don’t want to be cheated on, considering it a waist of their time or just lost complete the interest on it.
I can add to that, all my friends are single for years, decades even. I am also single without any prospects whatsoever
The irony of this video is that the same women complaining about being approached are the SAME ones who are deathly afraid of talking to a really attractive guy. Ladies please just shoot your shot, rejection is a part of life, it is not that scary.
-Sincerely a girl who slid into his DMs and happily married with child 9 years later
No what’s happening is most men are checking out while attractive guys are using and playing multiple woman. That’s why the number of single guys is so high while the rate of single woman is half. But also even woman who claim to be with someone are actually single they just claim to be “taken” as a cope to the fact that she is a side piece.
Even on a personal level I use to sleep around a lot but as I lost interest in doing that I am not switching to dating or serious relationships. I have no interest in that I rather enjoy my personal hobbies. If I get the urge, I will hit up the bars for the night for a fun night but that is all it is. I am not looking to keep her around. And maybe this is my own perspective but I don’t even think it is that men are afraid to approach woman. I think it’s more that men don’t see the value in relationships because let’s be real what value is in a relationship as a man? The cost to reward is just not there. If you are a guy that is good with woman you can just have short flings for companionships and you can sleep around with multiple woman. If you not successful with woman you can keep your pride and just enjoy you hobbies and enjoy your friendships for companionship.
None of this is inherent to men, woman, or relationship. It’s the choices we made in how our society and culture works that have just made it toxic and dating/relationships are a miserable experience even though there is that natural human drive for it.
People need to learn how to talk to each other in a neighborly way before we circle back around to asking for someone's number. All the guys saying, "I just won't approach women any more," along with Preach saying that creeps still do it because they don't care, are two sides of the same coin. Women don't want to be constantly approached, we are social beings, even if we are "anti-social," we just like to have positive experiences with strangers, but most of the time these days it's not.
If a person is shy/awkward/etc. and has a hard time talking to women, the automatic response to seeing a woman talking about not wanting to be approached shouldn't be, " fuck it, then!" They should be encouraged to work on just having conversations with anyone without the pressure/expectation that they want a date out of it just because they think someone looks cute. Volunteer at an old folks home and start having chats with the little old ladies or something, take an improv class, something to better your conversation skills.
And trust me, I know women these days aren't any better, cut back to the original video of this whole back and forth, she needs to toughen her skin up and work on her social skills as well.
I've watched both channels for a long time and they actually have very similar views on most things. If they talked, they'd actually get along very well
I know!!!!! I was like yaaaahhhh they found my girl 😁😁😁
Every man has different reason for not approaching. I don't approach because like Aba said, I'm one of those guys that feels like it's no longer worth the risk. I started dating in like 1988, 1989. Dated on and off until I gave it up in 2014. I had a long run, a couple of relationships that lasted a year or more, and was engaged twice. And I've been cheated on in 75% of my relationships. It wasn't until I was in my early 30's before I had a relationship that ended for reasons other than cheating. Maybe it's just me and I'm the kinda guy that this happens to, I dunno. But my experience tells me that *if* it turns into a relationship that lasts, I should expect to be cheated on. And I'm at a point now where I have too much in my life (mainly stability, peace of mind and freedom from stress and drama) to risk losing any behind a woman that is probably going to cheat. The results obtained are not worth the cost and effort.
Your dating the wrong type of woman. I think you know that, but you don’t want to admit it. 🤷🏽♀️😔
@@sg5720 what is the "wrong type of woman though". Everyone got their preferences and that's why discussions like these tend to be so tricky
@J Praise The one that cheats on you and was never honest and loyal to begin with.
I’ve simply looked at a man without any intentions to approach him and he rolled his eyes at me while I just causally walked passed a door entry way. I’m attractive with an athletic build. That moment stuck with me so I can only imagine what men go through because it happens more often to them. I even had men who approached me with insults off the rip.
Well he wouldn't roll his eyes for no reason, you must've looked like an attention seeker that he's sick of seeing
Lol. I busted out laughing when the roommate laughed with the image of a woman rejecting a dude in the club.
@7:59 OH MY GOD!! THERE HAS A THIRD ONE!!! Mais c'est qui ce pouchon?? Yo, Tyrone! (no heaumeau) .
This was definitely a real constructive response. I just had a conversation with two women about these kinda things and they genuinely don’t realize the differences in our dating experiences.
That's because they're females, they don't know, or care. Introspection is not their genders strong suit.
Why would they?
Unless they're bisexual, it still wouldn't matter. No one ever talks about it unless it's going terribly.
She doesn't seem to understand there's always exceptions to the rule.
I don't think it's that men are afraid altho that's part of it for a lot of them. The vast majority of women I've approached in the past few years are very very guarded and closed. There is also a lot of passive aggressive attention seeking on behalf of women with no real objective. It's a very one sided game. I get a lot of girls STARING at me and orbiting around me but the barriers come up as soon as I approach them. No I don't smell and no I'm not awkward or doofy. I think there is alot of negativity around men in our culture and there are a lot of women have no idea how to be warm or receptive to men who approach them. It's not fair to say that we're all just scared of women.
I met my wife at the gym, but only ever started speaking to her because I saw her talk to a receptionist I was also friends with. If I had to walk up to her point blank and talk to her, it likely never would have happened. What is funny is I only have the confidence to do anything difficult like that (not talking to women obviously) now, BECAUSE I know even if I look stupid, she will love me.
This is wholesome
All the women I have dated are people I knew through friends. I think the chance of hooking up with a psycho when you cold approach is 50/50, which is way too high for my likings. Go out with your buddies, get them to bring friends you don't know and bring your friends they don't know. That's the key. When you're with other people, it's easier to avoid rejection, filter psychos and actually chill rather than be constantly anxious.
what if you just moved to a new city and have no friends there
@@MunkeyyCANA Oh man that's a different kettle of fish. I'd be trying to make my new place home before trying to form a new relationship. From there, most people make their friends group at work. Other ways is any other social hobby like dance, sports, clubs.
Anytime, lately, when I want to laugh and feel better about myself, I WATCH YOU TWO!!!
Something that me and my friends did was start a “confidence club” at are school it was basically for shy guys to get their walk down game good, me and my friends wanted guys being able to talk to the girl they want instead of settling for situational scenarios to talk to a girl they find attractive. I believe being able to walk down to someone u find attractive is keen in being a man. Are ancestors done died in war, so what we doing ain’t crazy.
Btw big fan of u guys aba n preach
Much love
Man, I'm so afraid of losing my job because of accidentally cold approaching the "WRONG PERSON" I've been scarred because something like that happened in my elementary school and I Was labeled the bad kid and i couldn't go out for recess, they did that to me as a 12 year old imagine what they would do to a 18 year old black man.
Never date someone from your workplace.
You got in trouble in elementary school and they wouldn't let you out for RECESS? Thats so horrible and a totally unique situation I'm sure only you experienced.
@@85inexact are you okay?
what did you do at school at 12 years old in regards to dating that they would not allow you to go to recess? I mean I have had detention many times but never for anything related to *dating* actually even when it was against school rules we were too sneaky for that.
Yeah and don't date someone from your workplace. I mean I have, but I was not the one doing the approaching in that case but still very risky and potentially messy.
I tapped in 2020. Was with a woman for most of my adult life (currently 38) and she cheated on me in 2018 cuz she was bored and insecure. Spent a year finding myself before allowing myself to be with someone else and I met the most amazing woman in 2019. She was someone I couldn't think would exist. But she had hang ups about her ex and would accuse me of trying to get back with mine. In the end, we broke up and she went back to her ex the next day. Had a female friend I knew for five years and we got really close after this break-up. My kid loved her and so did I. But she started shit talking people behind their backs and it was so stomach churning to see she was this person. I spent months passively telling her it wasn't alright and then she just shit talked people behind my back instead. I created an exit for myself and instead of letting me just leave, she gaslit me and told me I was a shitty father. I'm not. Being a great father is the only thing I am if I'm nothing else.
I tapped in 2020. I can still get women. I get unsolicited nudes, women trying to cheat on their men with me, and women trying to hook up so I take care of them and their kid(s). So I'm not an incel because I get sex. I just won't do relationships and I certainly won't initiate anything. I don't even bring women around my place cuz I don't want my kid to see another woman come in and out of my life.
For me, sex is actually much easier than meaningful relationships, I mean to get, some women may say oh you have to give everything to any women who will sleep with you or give you the time of day, but many of my female friends and family have always warned me not to underestimate women's capacity to be *bitches*.
Can you say why you take care of their kids also? If you are sleeping with a woman, what makes you care about taking care of them and their kids?
The sad part is, you are the exception rather than the rule, as most guys get nothing for the vast majority of their lives. And in your case, you discovered the juice wasn't worth the squeeze even when it was available to you. American western women are fallen.
@@ctguitarguy8510 you have overgeneralized the male population, most guys don’t get nothing.. it is the rare for a man to still be a virgin.. most men use women for sex. Stop thinking one reality is the whole reality
@@DanniBby I don't. Their goal is to hook up to bring me into their life. Most recently, it was a coworker who was pregnant and already had three kids. She was hoping I'd be a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, and a solution to her problems. I'm not. Nothing happened between us because it's transparent what the price is.
She wasn't the only one. Girl with five kids from four baby daddies tried to get me to have unprotected sex to lock me down. Squashed it before anything happened. Currently a woman hit me up after 16 years. She has three grown kids but she's single with a six year old. All she talks about is hooking up and how lonely she is, and how hard being a single parent is. So when she pulls the trigger on it, she'll find I've got my shields up.
I appreciate that y’all looked up some data and stats on this. It’s one thing whether y’all or she was right to have an opinion, it’s another thing to quantify and look at trends of large populations
This is getting out of hand! Now there are three of them. 7:50
imma be real, i have comfortably approached girls in clubs or in different countries but in most cases i could prolly put that courage up to alcohol. when being out in public, even when i'd see a girl giving me 'obvious signals' that she's into me i'd still not go. even though i don't get mad anxious but i just tend to talk myself out of it; i'm definitely working on myself and on boosting my confidence
I feel the same way when I smoke weed. If I'm smacked, I can be the life of the party. Even when I'm sober, I have a decent level of charisma, but I'm a bit shy and awkward at first, so I struggle to naturally starting conversations and get past small talk. Once there's a rapport, it's pretty easy. But even in that circumstance, letting my intentions be known (getting a number) for a girl I find attractive has always been nerve-racking. I haven't had much success
Same here, the older you get the riskier hit you take to you’re own mental health. Women don’t understand that not all of us are creeps, we go by the olden day tradition but apparently even that is creepy. So why bother
Here's the thing. Whether it's at the club, out on the street, or in the grocery store, we're not mind readers. We're not going to know that 10 dudes have approached a woman already and now they're pissed. We're not going to know that they think getting approached on a street or in the grocery store is creepy and not welcome. The worst thing they can do isn't just say no anymore. Some of us are out here thinking if we tried to approach a woman, we're going to be on the next creep video posted on TikTok. You know what's safer and almost guaranteed to not be cast in that kind of light? Doing nothing. Plus, when you're alone, you literally get to do whatever you want whenever you want. And you can't say that when you're in a relationship. Relationships from start to finish are tons of stress and hard work. You like capitalism? What's the return on investment for all that stress and effort?
To be fair, you've gotta just keep an open mind and look for a partner who complements you like peanut butter and jelly. The relationship isn't work and actually improves your life. My partner and I motivate the hell out of each other and don't bicker over stupid shit, which was an issue in every relationship I had before them. You've just gotta find one good one. It's rare that people have a bunch of good relationships, usually you stick with the one that's natural and easy (5 years going strong with my love).
Doesn’t matter how good your partner is, a relationship is work nonetheless. Work requires effort and relationships require effort therefore transitively relationships are work. A good partner just makes the effort feel less burdensome. But it’s still work.
@@magicdragon9621 yeah well not every man wants a relationship when approaching lol and how are you going to figure that out from an approach
You don’t need to be mind readers. Just need pay attention to if random women checking you out. If highly attractive as person learn eventually what to look for. Yet do understand as today’s society it’s much more risk ask female on street, or grocery store, simply public area. As some people literally out here trying Shame guys for making a move. Lol
@@Raxus001 what’s problem with doing work on relationships? Not everybody lazy at work. Many more motivated to work relationships. If the partner you with motives you it just makes it easier. Reailty is some people just lazy and are with the wrong person.