They Tried To Cancel Her Talking About Women's Experience.
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- čas přidán 15. 07. 2024
- Original Video --- • She Doesn't Know I'm H...
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0:00 Intro
1:20 Preach Gets Exposed About His Anime Slander
4:00 The Parents Should Tell Their Daughter?
9:00 They Tried To Cancel Her FOR THIS
18:30 Why She Gave Her Kids to LGBTQ Parents
22:20 We Called Lessie - Zábava
The gay father literally said he was going to lean on the “strong women in his life” to assist with his daughters, so he proved Leslie’s point that a woman’s help will be needed when dealing with women’s issues like female puberty.
Yup
He just negated his whole argument
*Lessie but yeah
Shout out to this comment saying what I just said to myself after watching that man speak
Literally. He got emotional even though nothing even happened
Telling people to stop explaining their point of view because it's 'offending you' is really a dangerous game.
That means that as long as I am offended by your perspective, only my point of view is allowed to be heard.
Yup and if our points of view don't match then that's an excuse to cancel me - yup that's the world we're living in rn.
"You trying to silence me as a person of color is really triggering"
I can play that game too
This is 3rd wave feminism
Bro for real! And it’s not even necessarily offending them. They’re pretending to be offended for another group! It’s insanity
be offended by theirs too, even if you aint, just say u offended
God I hate identity politics so much. All common sense flies out the window with it.
It is exhausting.
It's so contradictory too
amen too that
amen
What’s weird is they have what seems like a reasonably adjusted actual adopted child who had gone through the experience giving you her literal expert opinion and they’re just like “nah I feel like…” lmao
Exactly lol
Thats a very common experience. And the adoptive parents talk over us. So common 😂
I agree, the voices of adoptees are very rarely heard. pisses me off really.
For real thooo 😭
Happens all the time
Her saying she gave her child to a gay couple so she wouldn’t have to deal with another mother figure is absurd. You purposely denied your child a mother so she would seek you out? Just sounds so manipulative
She sounds like someone who actually loved and wanted this child but didnt have ghe means or selftrust to do it.
@@lucymadelengregg4482 you can’t say that when you’ve plotted a way back into your child’s life. She didn’t look for the best situation for her daughter, she went with what was best for her.
@@lucymadelengregg4482 So?... What's your point...
@@lucymadelengregg4482 no I dropped this in another thread. Sh did it so she would not be replaced as the primary female role model of this child. A gay couple will not have someone to fill that role so when she decided that SHE was ready to take up that role properly she wouldn't have competition. You can't say it was done purely out of looking for good care givers because she said she "wanted to be an ally" political speak on the faith of a child and that's above board to you? No. She did it because she wanted her cake and to eat it to so she gave it to people that don't eat carbs.
It does sound like she purposely left a gap in the child's life so that she could fill it at some point in the future. If she wanted to, of course.
That's crazy that these women told another woman that having a period is only about cleaning up blood. Wild.
What else is there though? (I am a woman btw)
Cramps, nausea, mood swings, libido, vomiting, irregularity and probably some other crap not talked about that me anf other men have no clue about.
@maaruska it's not just cleaning up blood. Because each woman experiences their period differently. For some, it's debilitating for others it's just a normal bodily function like sweating.
@@maaruskayou’re dense😭
@@maaruska hormone fluctuations too
For me, the fact that she's now raising a 10 month old also raises some issues. It would be hard for her daughter to not take that personally. I think the adopted fathers are being a bit selfish and are probably intimidated and insecure about having bio Mom around. I got annoyed that they wouldn't let her finish her thought. It's scary that the younger generation coming up is so intimidated by freedom of expression.
It’s really sad that they’ve weaponized sexuality.
@@rushlytiriboyivlogs7565 they couldn’t weaponize it if society at large didn’t weaponize it against them first.
Hi 👋🏾. Adopted adult here. I’m the eldest of seven children my birthmother carried and birthed and the only one placed for adoption. I have ZERO issues with this. It’s kind of common sense that sometimes people grow up and are now capable of taking care of children. I can’t speak for all adopted people but from what I’ve observed it appears many of the issues adopted children have with being adopted comes from the way bios view adoptees and then teach them to view themselves and their stories.
@@shanisajoyner8353 I'm happy you can view it that way but there are PLENTY of examples out there of kids feeling abandoned or betrayed by their parents in the face of said parent moving on to become a full on, devoted parent to future kids. I don't think it's unreasonable to assume in any circumstance that that might be aggravating. There are of course, levels to this. And it's not even just in cases of adoption. Thank you for sharing your perspective!
@@jaqenhghar6244 an eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.
I’m adopted. I knew from day 1, my parents never kept it secret from me, and I have no negative thoughts in regard to my adoption. They’ve always answered every question I had, they made sure that I always knew the truth of my circumstance. I can’t imagine it any other way.
Same. When I was about six, a friend was giving me a hard time about being adopted, I told him 'at least my parents picked me, yours got stuck with you!' lol
@@anetrsel real shit
My birth mom told me when I was 7 my dad was not my birth and she was so anxious looking back. I was literally like "oh okay". I like my step dad anyway.
That’s seems like a good way to build a healthy relationship with your parents
Same same same
How is saying two men wouldn’t truly be able to fulfill the duties of a woman as a mother problematic??? This generation is so weird sometimes- overcompensating being self-righteous and inclusive that now you’re not even thinking logistically. A man (gay or not) will never understand the puberty of a woman fully- having a period, getting pregnant, hormones attached to emotions, etc.
I've got an 8 year old daughter that I share with the ex. I know I'm going to face my baby becoming a woman slowly and I've got no issue asking the women I trust in my life about how to react and prepare the best I can with the increasing horseshit girls and women are facing on this planet and of course, my daughters change through puberty.
👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯
Everything is problematic to these people if it doesn’t cater to their fragile sensibilities. Logic and reason be damned, it’s all about whatever makes you feel good inside. And it’s gonna be the downfall of our society.
They are probably the same women who think single mothers can teach boys how to be men. Neither sex can teach or relate to the experience of the opposite sex.
Yet people constantly insist that single mothers can be both the mama and the daddy for young boys
I was raised by a single father. My best friend’s mom had to help me with puberty stuff. I love my dad, he still couldn’t explain things about FEMALE issues that I NEEDED to talk about. It’s not just PERIODS. There is MUCH more to it.
Of course there is more to it. Anyone who says otherwise does not live in the real world. I grew up very close with a girl who was raised by her dad. My mother was like her surrogate mother, she helped her with periods, stuff that happened at school due to her being a girl, all kinds of stuff. My mother really did a lot and she loves her to bits and the feeling is mutual. She told my mother that her life would have suffered if it wasn’t for my mum doing all that she did for her. Her dad was amazing also, one of the most caring men I ever met.
very true! I was raised by my dad along with 2 older brothers after parents divorced, didn't know *nothing* about puberty and my period started when i was at my friend's house ffs. If my friend didn't have an older sister to help me, I'da been done fkd. :/ also, my dad never tried to approach me about girl stuff and I never asked. I grew up without much of a motherly presence or any female peer to look up to (other than my friend's sister) so it was very hard learning how to deal with certain shit practically blind. Yeah, you can teach puberty or what periods are, but who's gonna teach you what to expect whilst having it? how to effectively clean blood, how to avoid leaks, how often to change etc...and ffs, I had so much trouble realizing I *couldnt* sleep on my side when it was heavy bc it would 90% chance cause a leakage. ughh..
Right periods aren't the main factor of women's life experience.
I know right?? Why is this even a point of debate?!?! What planet does the woke crowd live on? Are they naive, stupid, ignorant, or malicious?
@@NootNoooooot Exactly! And your dad and brothers COULN'T help because they had no idea what to even discuss with you. They didn't know what they Didn't KNOW.
Sometimes it's too late. We're going through this right now. My brother's daughter does not know that he's the father and the mother has kept that from her. Now he's in the hospital on life support, she just turned 18. Imagine when she finds out who her dad is and how he passed, her never getting to meet him nor have any pictures with him. People need stop hiding shit from kids, the earlier, the better, the truth always comes out and the longer it takes, it's harder and hurtful.
Shit...she still doesn't know?
@@DC180PP Nope and he passed away.
My mom was like that. My grandma divorced her bio-dad when my mom was young so she never really got to know him. My mom asked about seeing him, and my grandma told her that she could when she was 18. When my mom was 17, her bio-dad died in a scuba accident. So she never got to meet him as an adult and have a proper talk. According to her, she held quite a bit of resentment towards my grandma for a bit because she wouldn’t let her see him.
For clarification, everything’s all good now. When my mom was 6, my grandma remarried to the man who’s now my “Papa” and my mom’s dad. My mom chats with my grandma every week and we visit as often as we can. But it did put strain on their relationship.
why the fuck does she need to know about a sperm donor? If he didn’t raise her, change diapers, feed her or do anything for her… Why does he deserve the title? 😂
That is heartbreaking
I raised 3 kids by myself. As a father, I simply sat my daughter down and asked her if she had talked to her mom about that stuff. I did not try to talk to her about it. I did not know.
She said no, and said never bring the subject up again. LOL I said only if you promise to discuss it with your mom. I then went to my friend who happened to be her girl scout leader and asked if it was a subject they covered. She said it could be discussed, but only with the idea that they need to talk to their mothers. I said if they did reinforce that idea I'd appreciate it.
To this day my daughter (28) appreciates that I cared enough to make sure she talked to her mom about it and did not go any further with the conversation. Cause she said it was the most uncomfortable question I ever asked her. I felt the same.
I'm so glad my other kids are boys.
Bing a gay man does not giver you a vagina.
My dad never talked to mr about periods or anything of the sort, he just went off to buy pads way more often than my mom ever did, it reached a point where we don't have to explain anything and he know exactly what to get.
Whenever someone uses the word, "problematic", something stupid usually follows. The Naruto chick telling the adopted woman that it's problematic to say that two men don't know about periods. Bruh...A and P was right, there's some experiences a man is just not gonna have and vice versa. Damn!!
Notice how even the gay guy with 2 daughters said he has many other strong women in his life to help his DAUGHTERS out. Meaning they even can't say much about a women growing up, they need other women to help out.
I'm a 29 year old man and have no idea what a cramp is, I just know I should be sensitive to my woman when she has those🤣🤣🤣
@@ShyOff exactly! Nobody knows the totality of everything. You need those other perspectives to fill in the gaps.
Yea I never had the embarrassment of looking down at my white pants turning pink and I would have no fucking idea what to say. My dumb ass as a dad would prob be like sux to suck wear black like shit having a wife helps me out so freaking much with raising a daughter bc there is just so much of the women experience that I cannot add any depth of thought towards because I haven’t been through it just fucking fax
29 years and you’ve never had a muscle cramp…. Wow. You’ve got some A1 genetics not gonna lie
"Society changed so much, that we are now prioritizing the needs of the parents over the needs of the child." 14:00. Facts
Of course, our society revolves around money, and parents need and spend money far more than kids under normal circumstances
Not facts at all. Needs of the parents has always been held above the needs of the child. Plenty of children stuck in abusive homes that can’t get out because bio-parents deserve the child more than the child deserves safety and security.
Gays are inclined to be selfish. Homosexuality comes from a deep sense of shame (from abuse and neglect) that turns the victim inwards. Their inwardness bleeds into everything else. People don't pick up on it because gays come across as soft and pitiable, or will use comedy to manipulate. It's demonic.
2020 was a good example
I think it's super weird that the birth mom specifically went out of her way to avoid having a competing mother figure in the child's life. That's so odd, and kinda cringey. It's like she specifically wanted someone else to get the child through the baby phase, and then she would come in and more or less take the child back, at least on an emotional level.
Yep. She wanted the men to raise her daughter until she felt comfortable to step in.
I think the same
That’s so weird to me bc most people who adopt want young especially babies, meaning younger children is the best stage of childhood.
I can’t imagine giving up my baby. I never wanted to have kids but as soon as I got pregnant, my daughter became ALL I cared about
I think it's super weird to do some psychoanalysis based on a youtube video, especially on one sentence.
what was even weirder is when she said she didnt want to be her mother again. its like she's stuck in the middle because she doesn't want to fully commit to the mother role but at the same time wants to keep seeing her daughter regularly while deceiving and lying to her?? Im not sure if she meant she wanted her to know eventually but still have the gay dads as her permanent parents.
It would be a weird dynamic in general because if she ends up having a good bond with her after telling her, its like shes the third parent who isn't providing financially for the child.
My mother explaining menstral cycle vs my father explaining it was night and day. Apart from all the medical things going on there are various emotions and thoughts going through your head that you need mom to help you with sometimes. Dad didn't understand that it wasn't just a mess and some headaches, there's hormonal changes, mood swings, depression, stages of cycle, healthy cycles and unhealthy, embarrassment, shame, fear, choosing the right "equipment". Reading about it or knowing someone with it is not the same as having it, that is a job for a mom imo.
I am against gay couples getting kids in general but I am just wondering why people even need their parents for these explanations. I would have never wanted to talk about this with my parents (I could have) and I figured out what this is and how it works long before it happened. School and internet exists you know (even when I was a teen)...older kids talk a little too and we all picked it up before it was even in our lives. How sheltered and naive are some people?
@@calistafalcontail Your comment is such nonsense. First of all not everyone get's their menstrual cycle between 11 and 16. Some girls get it way younger. Meaning at that age, chances are slim other kids understand why and how it's possible to have a menstrual cycle. Not to mention. Between the age of 7 and 10 the internet will not help with questions. There is alot of nonsense online these days anyway. It's better if one could talk to their parents or someone close to them.
@@calistafalcontail I'm against people having kids that don't understand that taking the time of day to share important life experience and wisdom is part of a parents job. In most normal households parents are a trusted source of life based experience and wisdom. The internet is a public domain and you can learn some medical takes, equipment knowledge, etc but it is often not a safe space to look upon for life experience. It doesn't make you sheltered or naive it's the smarter choice to turn to a parent or trusted mature adult, some get their cycles at a younger age than the charts, 7 years olds aren't running around talking about periods, older kids probably aren't the best source of information just because their older, you have teens dumb enough to stab someone almost to death over slenderman, tiktok teens eating poison chemicals and setting themselves on fire and fiddling with electrical wiring. Some will bully you for asking, again the smarter choice here is the mature adult who will comfort you and help with with feelings and situations the internet cannot. My daughter and i will have the same talk, it's a talent most of us parents have who weren't raised by Ipads. Hopefully the internet also told you that everyone experiences their situation differently and that you can only speak for you, and that people that like to talk to their parents about these things do exist you know. Hope that cleared everything up. =)
@@calistafalcontail you’ve now made the gay couple a better source of knowledge by utilizing their opposite sex friends and family more than your useless straight self would be doing for whatever poor child ends up in your care. To deprive your child on the changes and complications with growing up because you want to be a lazy ghost in their life. Shameful.
@@calistafalcontail Really? Each kid is different and needs guidance, especially going into puberty. For women specifically, it’s a really important part of growing up, so yes, it’s extremely important to have a feminine figure who can help you with feminine hygiene and doesn’t neglect teaching you about it. Also, on the older kids part, a lot of older kids are prone to misinformation and misconceptions that might not apply to everyone. That’s why you ask an adult, not your peers.
They shut her down for stating that men do not have the understanding and/or experience to help/guide when a girl enters womanhood, but the guy himself stated he’ll use his “strong female” friends for situations like that. WTF lol!!!
Nah apparently we can’t say things like “men and women are different” or “Fathers cannot become mothers and mothers can’t be fathers”
@@dapo3538 Exactly. Its concerning that peoples lives can be ruined just for stating an obvious fact.
@@dapo3538They are making it a lot more complicated than it is.
To that *PITIFUL BLACK GIRL WHO BOUGHT INTO THE BULLSHIT PROBLEMATIC TERMS* shut the fuck up …. That shit doesn’t apply to black people 🙄 *THE LBG COMMUNITY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU THEY ONLY NEED YOU AS NUMBERS look how they walked away from GRINER* 🙄. Not one lesbian lawyer stepped up not one city community PROTESTED🙄
Even if he didn't say it, it's just a fact but apparently it's as problematic as saying people who get their periods are called females, or like there are two genders, this world just gets crazier by the day !
My mother didn’t tell me till I was 12 that the man who was the father of my siblings wasn’t my father , the man who spent his life beating me wasn’t my father and my mother allowed it , I moved out at 16 and didn’t talk to my mother for 6 years because of this. Be honest with your children no matter how scared you may be or the situation. I don’t sugarcoat shii with my kids. And they’re smarter and better equipped because of it
blimey, sounds heavy, hope you're aight now x
❤
@Brian T I wouldn’t make these kind of comments when someone expresses their trauma. This is a moment of empathy. We weren’t there, we don’t know his feelings, we couldn’t possibly make sense of it. But from his prospective, it caused pain. So lets just let him have the floor. And feel with and for him ❤️
@briant6984your not sure because your not in his shoes so you won’t understand and that remark “assuming the worst he did was spank you” is pretty insensitive. That’s why he moved out his decision 🤷🏽♀️ doesn’t matter what you ASSUMED.
Is Ur definition of beating? A 80s 90s normal spanking?
I adopted my niece when she was an infant as my sister has extreme cognitive delay. I explained to her when she was a toddler that my sister is her birth mother. As she’s grown older we’ve had more age-appropriate discussions. It was important to me that she ALWAYS knew where she came from, and had her entire childhood to process, ask questions, navigate her emotions, and grow with the understanding of who she is. I felt like it would cause more harm for her to find out later. So I agree that the intention of promoting the child’s well being should always be at the forefront of our decision making. We don’t always get it right, but the decisions shouldn’t be based on the adults ego/feelings.
The biggest problem is her involvement up to this point. She chose gay men so that she COULD step in later, she said that. The problem lies in the fact that she is essentially letting them raise her, get through her hardship so that she can step in later and become the prominent force in her life. Feels like using that person. If she wasn't actively involved in her life frequently, she should be told. But there's such a chance that this really messes with their family dynamic, etc at this point. The girl is too young to understand it beyond this is my mom.
Okay, but it was literally the parents who chose to have the bio mom meet her wothout telling her the truth. They arranged the meetings and then just didn't follow through telling her the truth. To a question she's already been asking.
The fact that she chose gay men so that any relationship with her daughter would not be superceding their role as her dads shouldn't be treated as some manipulative idea, when so many adoptions retain some right for the bio parent to be involved in the child's life already, regardless if cis, trans, gay, or straight couples are adopting.
There only problem with her involvement is the adoptive parent's insecurity over their own relationship with their daughter. They made the decision, clear minded and more than once, that it was time to introduce their child to her bio mom. They chickened out, and as a result, the child has now met her but doesn't know her or her own brother.
That's not right. They are depriving their child of a loving relationship with a biological family member without giving any reason or explanation to the two people involved who are being hurt so they can feel better about themselves.
If their daughter was really ready to blow them off to move in with a near stranger just because of a biological link, they must be awful parents.
Personally I don't think it's ever okay to keep a secret of this magnitude from your child unless they were actually in danger.
If a sinlge mom was having some guy come hang out with her kid, only for that kid to find out years later that guy they met a few times who brought his baby over was actually their father, and the baby was their sibling and they just didn't get told, it'd be just as f-ed up as this.
@@pvp6077well said
@@pvp6077 Although I understand your position and also agree with a lot of the points you wrote, where I would disagree would be that we haven't heard the side of the adopted parents yet, so it is wrong to assume it is due to insecurity, etc. Who knows what the bio mom has left out in her story that might be a big factor in the adopted parents reasoning of still wanting to hold off.
Also I don't think the bio mom should be able to just make the decision to tell the child this secret on her own. She is not the legal guardian/parent, she lost that right when she decided to hand the responsibility of raising her child to someone else. I think she should still make her case and work with the adopted parents to make this finally happen, but it is not her place to make an executive decision like that on her own.
And if she cannot work out a solution with the adopted parents, and truly believes it is in the best interest of the child (which with all the facts it could very well be), then she should do it the right way by taking it to court and being granted the legal and legitimate right to do so.
That gay guy with the daughters unraveled his whole argument with the comment and fact that he knows and is prepared because of the family women/females to lean on. People really need to give up this “we don’t need the other sex” shit. It’s PROBLEMATIC. That 11 year old is not going to automatically stop trusting the adoptive parents. They don’t know that. If it’s explained to her correctly and respectfully, that little girl will be forever grateful.
Wishful thinking
@@Ravenbones yeah at 11 that ship sailed. Funny thing about memories. They last a long time
Grateful for what? That her real mother abandoned her and her parents aren't her actual parents? If i were adopted i wouldn't want to know shit. The birthmother can go screw herself as far as i'm concerned. This is all about her selfishness, like "oh i wasn't ready to have a child but now i am so let me disrupt your entire life because that's what i want".
The gay father literally said he was going to lean on the “strong women in his life” to assist with his daughters, so he proved Lessie’s point that a woman’s help will be needed when dealing with women’s issues like female puberty.
It should really come from the parents to avoid the “distrust” as much as possible but if she’s really been her life long they shouldn’t wait any longer. But I don’t think they can avoid some betrayal because she’d have to explain why she could be in her life but not as her own. Like she’ll probably ask why she was adopted if she’d always been there, but she can explain her circumstances at the time but it’ll still be hard for the kid.
The "problematic" comment just had me rolling my eyes. It was like she was saying "there are gay people in the room, we need to be careful what we're saying unless we offend them!" The gay dad seemed ok with the comment, he even said himself that they would need help from women aroud them! And what if it wasn't a gay couple but a single dad raising a girl? He would face the exact same problems but I doubt that she would find it problematic if someone suggested that he is not equipped with the necessary knowledge about the "girly" issues!
13:22 Nah the gay guy was offended. He doesn’t like hearing “comments like those” because it hurts his and his husband’s feelings. It reminds him he’s not a mother lol
Exactly, there’s no man on this earth equipped to help a young woman gettin her period. I don’t give a damn if your a gynecologist. I needed a WOMAN in that moment I got my period, not a man
Gotta love how the only way for these types of women to "advocate" for men is if they're gay or trans men 😑👌 not that we need that type of defense anyway
To that *PITIFUL BLACK GIRL WHO BOUGHT INTO THE BULLSHIT PROBLEMATIC TERMS* shut the fuck up …. That shit doesn’t apply to black people 🙄 *THE LBG COMMUNITY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU THEY ONLY NEED YOU AS NUMBERS look how they walked away from GRINER* 🙄. Not one lesbian lawyer stepped up not one city community PROTESTED🙄
A single dad can raise a daughter by him self if anything they do better than single moms
I wasn’t “adopted” but I found out at 18 that the man who raised me wasn’t my real father. It was a mix of feelings. I was sad, angry, confused and felt like I didn’t know who I was in a sense. The crazy thing is that I knew I looked different from my sisters. I even remember asking my mom why I didn’t look like my dad and she would say that I did. Still to this day I have no idea who my real father is. All I know is that he was a druggie and homeless and maybe dead by now. Literally what I was told. I felt like I was lied to. Not even felt…. I WAS lied to. This video definitely gave me confirmation on my feelings and I thank you guys because for so long I felt like such an evil daughter for wanting to know. For feeling confused. For feeling angry. Even if my real dad is a shit dad I want to know who I come from. And knowing that more than likely I won’t ever know is something I’m trying to come to terms with but it just sucks. Like I have other siblings out there, a whole other side of me I won’t ever get to know. But anyways, I agree. Definitely tell the kids when they are younger so they aren’t blindsided by it later on. 💯
“My mother is nowhere near as educated on female anatomy than my father who is a gynecologist. Yet still my mother taught me so much more about being a woman, because textbooks can only take you so far.” If that adopted girl’s dad is a gyno, this plus what the gay man said about leaning on strong women is all the answer you need. Children NEED a mother AND father figure. And if they can’t find them in the home, they will find them own their own somewhere else.
Man it truly is sad when parents prioritize what they want over what their children need
I disagree the is still the need to strengthen the family dynamic. The person raising them should be allowed a chance to actually raise their own child. They signed up to try to be a parent so let them be the ones to decide who helps.
Also by that very logic your saying that means every adopting parent should track down the biological parents for the kid. That's terrible selling point for adoptive agencies, should people incapable of having children be relegated to day care parent.
Oh that's not what I meant I meant that it's is sad when parents focus more on themselves rather than their children
@@thevillagehiddeninthememes1836 If you mean the selfishness by the parents to not tell the child I kind of see as a double edge knife that I think every parent should have. The unwillingness to let go shows that the parents love them to a fault rather than letting go so easily. I am in my 20s and my parents still don't like me leaving after dark. Sure it's annoying but ultimately they are giving me the full selfish love aka the parental experience. I genuinely think the Gay parents are giving them their full parent experience.
@@Teekayhuey_TK the guy literally gave no context and simply said that its sad when parents prioritize themselves over their childen... non-contextually... there's no lines to read between here... the commenter simply commented a thing... fuck.
Everyone has a fucking phd in psycho-analysing comment sections nowadays...
@@Teekayhuey_TKThat gay couple agreed to an open adoption, regular visits with the birth mother, and that the child would be told the truth. If they didn’t want to do those things then they should’ve picked a different child to adopt.
Closed adoptions are very rare these days.
Shouldn’t the kid know who she’s biologically related to before dating?
Also finding out your parent’s “buddy” is your biological parent is something they should’ve told her years ago.
I love how Aba N Preach are textbook friends and refuse to acknowledge that they're friends 😂
I was looking for this comment cuz I agree. Lowkey it’s abit irritating to watch them deny being friends when they spend so much time in verbal and physical contact with each other and know each others families etc. still I love the content tho
I hope they r joking which I doubt ,but it hurts to see that they r denying friendship .
@sfouzir it's a business relationship.
You heard of Penn and Teller? One of the best magician double acts that have existed. Incredible chemistry between both of them. They're not friends either, like Aba and Preach it's a business relationship.
@Yusassin I don't know them, true. But they have addressed this many times. So, are we not to believe them when they tell us 100 times that they only have a business relationship?
A relationship such as theirs is perfectly healthy and better for the business overall.
I have plenty of close friends, though I enjoy the subtle attempt.
@@yusassin1449 certainly agree with that.
Yes, a woman will understand what it feels and the experience to share and talk about with a young girl. Men don't. EVEN a male gynecologist. He knows medically what happens but does not have the personal experience so can't relate.
I am just in awe how many people here claim they needed their mommies to talk to them about this like dum dums. I would have never wanted to talk about any of this and I figured things out myself real easy. I knew what this is long before it happened, just like people know where babies come from long before school or parents want to tell you. Its a different experience for every woman anyway. So whatever my mom would have said, would have just given me false expectations or fears. I dont support gay couples having kids in general but for other reasons...not because they cant give you some kind of talk.
They will hire a nanny , simple .
Children can be raised without women , men don't have to marry women . Get over it .
If the gay dudes that adopted her wait to tell her any longer she's gunna end up resenting them because she's been asking who her mom was this whole time and they refused to tell her
Or they might put it on the mother tbh
Oh they'll def try to blame it on the mother, just the way they've been doing things so far? For sure
I see massive issues with gay couples getting kids in general. Even worse when they create them for themselfes with sperm donations or surrogates. Thats really twisted and wrong, cause children need a father and a mother and there is a reason only men and women can create new life together. Not everything thats possibile has to be forced. Its peoples egos that are out of control and they act like everything is a "right" now...another human being is nobodies right to get. I understand that adoption is better than having no home at all, but people acting like it doesnt matter if kids have "2 daddies or mommies" are unhinged and ignorant.
People need to realize having a child and raising a child is about doing what's best for them. Don't have a kid or adopt one unless you're ready to make those sacrifices.
Dont give your child away unless you're ready to not be in their lives
tbf, we don't know enough about the mother to know if she would be a good impact on her daughter.
@@grischad20 yep. which is why giving away the kid in that instance might be whats best for them.
That’s why I’m smart enough to carry Plan B in my car
@@Shinyflubba Then Society has to provide a solution. We must provide a way for parents who can’t take care of their kids to still be a part of their lives.
Found out my dad wasn’t my genetic father at 30. It’s an awful experience at 30 having the carpet ripped from under u. Tell your kids as early as they can understand it and work through it. Not doing it is your own selfish interest of what you think is best. It’s not.
Don't you think it would have been like trillions of times better if you never found out that your dad isn't your biological father and you just kept happily living and loving your dad?
@@My_Master_Wavesas much as that would be nice, I don’t like a persons odds of getting through life without ever finding out. You phrased your response as if the OP had the choice to find out, we don’t know if it was a choice at all… and that’s why I say you can’t count on never finding because a human thing that happens to people as they get close to death is to off load any guilt they are carrying around. I’ve seen it happen in my own family and it feels like a selfish act because that person cares more about getting the guilt out of them regardless of the damage it does to the family they leave behind.
Also I don’t see where the op said he stopped loving his dad immediately after finding out. It’s not black and white, the carpet can still be ripped out and a person can be hurt, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily stop loving the people involved. It’s more complex than that…
How did you find out at 30.. do you think that if they kept it from you all those years it would have been better if they just took it to their grave and you never found out?
@@My_Master_Waves
A lot of people wouldn't prefer living a lie. Even if the truth would hurt.
Can't speak for op, but my father had a similar experience. He found out who his genetic father was, because of a cousin. And that was when he was already an adult about 24 years old. That meant he later got in contact with his biological father, got to spend time together and reconnect. He got to make his own decisions about things that related to his life. The only thing he regrets is not knowing sooner
@@Solitaire427 the magic of 23andMe. Genetics always been interesting to me. Wanted to see my ethnic makeup. They realized pretty quickly after me buying the test, they needed to tell me before I found out myself…. They would have taken it to the grave if they could have. But that’s again, selfish for them. They thought they were doing the right thing, but it makes it even worse since trust is just broken. 20 years ago you could hide this, now, you can’t hide anything. You need to be honest. It destroyed my trust in people generally for a while.
I appreciate the fact that Aba and Preach provided a safe space for Lessie to speak. She was the most credible female in the group, but PC culture tried to discredit her and her experience on the subject. Thanks, Aba and Preach!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Dont you think she looks like that Elisabeth host chick,the one Aba was simping on?
Agreed 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
As someone who is adopted, the choice of finding paternal parents should be left up to the child, END OF STORY! Paternal parents gave up ANY right to know that child the minute they gave up that child. My parents where absolutely honest with me and my brother, they let us know we were adopted early in our lives. I was 7 and my brother was 5 when they told us. It didn't change any feelings about them. To this day I still have no desire to ever find my paternal parents. My adopted parents ARE MY PARENTS.
Your views are not universal because
1) There are children kidnapped and trafficked into adoption
2) Some children grow to love their adoptive parents but usually its also okay to want to know your birth parents
3) Unless the birth parent is horrible later on in the child’s life I feel the birth parent should have some say on whether or not they want the child to know them
4) There are many reasons parents give up a child not just because they are abusive or do not want the child, simply could be they cannot support provide or protect the child at that time
5) Children are not property even if you call yourself “my parent” I will be an adult and I will judge
@flimcomedy7667 Your points mostly amount to "If the kid wants to meet their parents they should be allowed to." That's a point the original comment was never against. A biological parent has no right to inject themselves when nobody else wants it.
Also, child trafficking? You know that's not what they're talking about, dude. At that point you're missing the forest for the trees.
I was adopted by a Caucasian Australian family when I was 2 and a half years old. My ethnicity is Thai. I asked my mum questions when I was 5 years old due to how our skin colours were different. She was upfront and told me that my birth parents were poor and couldn't look after me, my father and my mother raised me the same as their biological son and never treated me differently during my childhood/teen years.
I didn't resent them or my birth parents because from a young age I understood the reasons why and I only became curious about my parents after I turned 18 and they took me back to Thailand for the first time. I think it's important to tell the child at a young age because when they're close to being a teenager it can be messed up and confusing. When kids used to bully me for being adopted I didn't care because my parents told me when I was young.
Fellow Australian, I never understood why you would attack someone for being adopted. The joke my parents always said was “you’re not adopted, that would mean we chose you”.
Just curious. When you were bullied, did you ever throw back the “At least my parents chose me” line?
(We had an adopted kid in middle school, who got bullied by a kid who was known to be an “accident kid”. He clapped back with that line and it basically ended the whole thing.)
This is why people push back so hard at the lgbtq, its crazy how the feelings/knowledge/experience of the person who actually went through it is shut up for the feelings of a random lgbtq guy, when did lgbtq "feelings and words" become gospel and above anyone elses
Because gay mafia
Straight dudes have way more experience with women's bodies than gay dudes lol
If you're in a relationship or married you have to be attentive to what's going on, I'm sure gay dudes never even think about periods because why would they?
They became the gospel since 5 or more years ago fam. Trans women feelings matter more than real women’s feelings lmao 😂
@@bryanuchiha6166 it's ironic that male emotions only matter when they transition into women.
@@bryanuchiha6166 It's not "real women", it's birthing person now, 🤣😂😂
My sister sent her son for adoption at 18. Unfortunately he found out right when he turned 18 while looking through paperwork at his home. He felt so uneasy he fled his adoptive parents home and nobody knew where he was for months/years. He was hurt and betrayed from lies. 40 years later he still has issues with my sister and he still has a lot of resentment. My sister now regrets not saying anything before. This is also a pretty old mentality and I think now ppl are realizing waiting is not effective at all
So your sister was 18 when she put her son for adoption, and then the year he turned 18 he accidentally found out she was his real mother? Sorry I’m just trying to understand the timeline
@@tricialemon Yeah that was confusing and had me scratching my head, I guess we'll never know the answer lol
"That's problematic" so not hurting a persons feelings is more important than a childs well-being
Not hurting a LBGTQ persons feelings, that distinction is important. Straight people have no rights only the G’s and T’s actually the L’s and B’s seem pretty quiet and almost pushed out at this point.
It has been proven statistically that children do better when they learn at an early age they were adopted, it feeels like betrayal and the fact that she’s in her life actively only makes it worse, to that child her life will feel like a lie and it will cause issues with trust, do not deny her a mother figure, the adopted woman is speaking from experience it’s best to at least actually consider it.
I don’t understand how people can’t see that the more you lie to children, the more they’ll not trust you. The bigger the lie you keep, the more you destroy trust if it ever comes out.
The truth hurts but a lie is painful
It is common sense too
Hey btw, your username has ur email in it which is concerning
The longer the video the more it gets deep
My parents have always told me early on and it only made me trust my parents more. They chose ME. That’s a great feeling
Parenting isn't about the parent but the child. Simple as that.
Waiting to tell the child will do even more damage. For various reasons.
1. Distrust
2. Emotional damage
3. Stress
Even more distanced
It also takes them away from their cultural identity as well especially if they child is ethnic or has prominent ethnic genetics. This is actually very common amongst ethnic adopted children and it’s truly disgusting. It’s literally pushing erasure of their existence
I think they aren't telling the kid becuase this woman gave her kid up to them specifically becuase she tow gay male parents would leave a void in the childs life which she could then leverage to re enter the kids life at a later more convient date. I actually dont even know why the couple let her be around this child, this woman is clearly trying to have her cake and eat it.
FACTS
@@elettramia6380 I truly feel this mindset IS the leading cause of supremacy issues among all groups across the world.....I honestly feel sorry for the unfortunate emotional development of a german who cries when they take their first step in germany after being raised in brazil for 20 years. That mindset needs eliminated, maybe one day forcefully.
I am adopted I spent 29 years looking for him and I finally did. Finally my mom finally told me the truth and told me he didn’t know about me and it broke me. I wanted to know my other half and everything that made me different from my moms side was him 100% I’ve spent the last 4 years making memories with and even tho he has aphasia from a stroke we have hours long video calls we have our own way of communicating. This year he took a dna test and it became officially official lol I was the baby of 6 kids. It took my step dad telling my mom to let me find him for her to give me all the info. I felt hurt cause the narrative of he didn’t want was false. I felt even more betrayed when I found him and he was everything I had imagined him to be and he wanted me. The first time he told me he loved me I cried.
Lessie do not let people try to shut you down again when you are speaking your truth. You were correct, your experience as an adopted child matters.
I have two biological sons and one adopted daughter. I agree that adoption is a wonderful thing. My two sons were teasing my daughter a little about being adopted (light hearted she knows she is adopted.) I told the boys "kissy kissy and you both showed up, I had to fight to get her." She thought that was the greatest thing she ever heard. The fact I had to choose and work to get her means so much to her. With adoption you have to work and choose the child, that should mean a lot to a child versus just having a good weekend and then someone else shows up in the family. Let me state I am talking in generalities before someone comes in with a "well technically" or "in my situation.."
@@CS-mf5un See the last sentence of my statement, you seemed to have skipped that. I also never said it was meaningless. I didn't degrade my sons because they know I love them and I have instilled in them (and my daughter) self worth so a little teasing is a laugh to them. When I tease my kids they give it right back, they are secure in themselves because of the love they feel from both myself and each other. My daughter was abused and abandoned by her father and abused and abandoned by her mother, she wants nothing to do with either of them. I resent that you think child abusers should be in kids lives and remain in their lives. Just for the record we did have a couple of great weekends, wife got pregnant each time, carried them 9 months without issues both times, and she had them both naturally (she didn't want any pain killers either time). They are very healthy and happy.
@@CS-mf5un exactly what you did to my original statement.
@@vsteel funny how they deleted their comments. Clearly, we can tell there was ignorance being thrown at you.
Bless your beautiful family ❤
Kissy kissy and you showed up 😂😂😂😂HAHAAAAA
She was told it's problematic to bring up gay dads not knowing how to deal with women stuff
13:20 Then the gay man himself said he will lean on his women friends for help in that type of situation
Exactly!!! I caught that too!!!
And it was a woman telling her to stop. It's always people that aren't even in the marginalized group that are hyper protecting that group. Like shut up.
@@5050TM
It's weird virtue signaling so that they can artificially feel good about themselves.
Even at 26, my dad still doesnt understand that my acne flares before I get my period. He just keeps telling me I need to change my face washing routine. As soon as my period comes and goes, my skin is back to normal and he stops telling me my skin is bad. MEN DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A FEMALE.
On the topic of 'should a kid know who their real parent is after being told they are adopted?':
One aspect of things overlooked a lot of the time, is medical history. Later in life, having the real parent's medical history could be of life saving importance. If every woman in that family had breast cancer, or has a susceptibility to certain ailments.... the child needs to know that so they can be proactive from a health standpoint.
Like that’s gonna make a difference.. decision was made based on the gay parents’ feelings. They didn’t care about the only adopted child in the group who voiced her lived experience, why would medical history change anything?
All adopted kids have a right to know, I believe as early as possible so that they don't feel as if their entire life has been a lie. Just my belief.
I wouldn't wanna know.
agreed.
They should know if they were adopted absolutely. As an adopted child myself, it was better knowing. I would have been happier never meeting my birth mother though.
@@MrTekniqs This. The act of knowing is great. The realization of WHO tho can be bad.
i mean yes and no. i think it should really come down to WHY the biological parents wants the child to do. Sometimes there are selfish reasons behind it
Y'know, with the way people are changing to "birthing persons" and citing the extremely small number of trans-men who get pregnant as evidence that "men can get pregnant too!", I'm thinking the adopted kid may be so poorly educated that she may think one of the dads is her mother.
Lmao. What a crazy world we live in. Honestly.
I shouldn't have laughed but I did.
sad and hilarious at the same time 😆😂
😂😂😂😂 what a time to be alive!
It's an unspoken hope for certain people pushing a certain agenda. Complete detachment from objective scientific reality.
People that dumb are *very* easy to enslave and control.
My dad lied to me about who my mom was for 15 years of my life, the longer it’s hidden the more it hurts when you find out, me personally I’d want to be told as soon as possible
I was given up for adoption at 3 days old. My adopted parents told me that I was adopted when I was 7. They explained why she did so I could have a better future with a mom and dad since my birth dad split on my mom while she was pregnant with me. If they never told me I would have been pissed. I was supported by my adopted parents to find my birth mother and I eventually did. It was scary but I'm glad I did. I met my mom and found I have 2 brothers I didn't know about. I would have missed out on all of this if my parents didn't tell me.
Gay dude basically admitted that maybe they don’t want to say anything to the daughter because the parents will lose credibility and trust. No one told them to continue the lie for that long. Stay Focused!
Fr tho, why would the daughter suddenly lose trust to someone who they’ve had by their sides forever.
@@rushlytiriboyivlogs7565 I bet you they keep secrets from each other too lol
No one told them to lie in the first place. There's a huge cognitive dissonance with these people when it comes to understanding concepts such as honesty and trust.
Right? Like "what if finding out I've been lying makes her lose trust in me?" Then she will be correct sir.
My mom left me and my dad when I was 13 years old, for another man. From there she moved to Guam. My dad had to raise me on his own after that point. When the day came that I started my period the only person I had to go to was my dad, and I have such fond memories of that experience. He was so caring and compassionate, doing anything he could to go above and beyond to find out what it was that I needed. I will always be grateful to him for that. I learned so much more from him than I could have from her. And he taught me a lesson of resilience as he rose above to raise me on his own after such a heartbreak. After he passed away in 2009 I have lived with his spirit and drive. To me we make our lives as they are, no matter how traumatic our childhood experiences were. I honestly don't feel slighted. I am grateful for the parent that I had and for who I am turning out to be as a human being.
I'm glad your dad was able to turn that bad situation around however I assume your mom didn't want to be around which is different from what is happening in the video where the mom is around but in alot of ways kept at a distance
Peace be with you! I’m so glad you and your father were able to build such a strong bond after everything that happened. It’s so beautiful to see that!
No offense but reading this wholesome comment and then reading your name gave me whiplash.
That's such an amazing testimony
Your father was a great man! But that wasn't fair for either you or him. Your mother left her responsibilities and your dad had to find a way to teach you about things he never could experience.
My dad accidentally found out he was adopted at 14, he stumbled upon his adoption paperwork when looking for his report card, he said it was really heartbreaking that they had kept it a secret, they wouldn't even tell him who is bio parents were after he found out, a lot of the names and personal info was redacted
The person saying she was being problematic was straight up bullying her into silence with the implied shut up or else and there was reason to fear that threat.
"But now these 2 guys are gonna be looked at as someone this little girl cant trust anymore"
And whose fault is that? They didnt tell her or are waiting so long that when she does find out, yes she's gonna feel like she's being lied to. It's their fault if she ends up not trusting them bc they decided to keep the truth from her.
they didn't say they wouldn't tell the child, but they will tell her in their own time, not the woman who left her's time. is it really hard to understand that to you lol? she's not the parent, she's practically a surrogate. it's not her place and it's not her family and quite frankly it's not her business!!! she needs to stop trying to sabotage their relationship coz of her own selfishness.
@@AMan-xy3lx never said that they wouldn't tell her either... I'm just saying timing matters. Dont u think that they might be being a little selfish for letting the child live and believe a lie just so they could feel loved by her as parents in the moment? I say "in the moment" bc when she finds out it's not gonna be pretty. The parents aren't considering her future well-being enough.
She's not being selfish she obv cares for her child. Just bc someone put their child up for adoption does not always mean they dont care. Sometimes depending on how old the mother is and who she depends on it's not her choice. It usually is that they know that they do not have the full resources or capacity to be a fit mother for the child. She's not a surrogate. She didnt volunteer to get pregnant on behalf of a couple.
Since you're convinced that she's sabotaging wouldn't you think it would be easier if she just told the kid herself regardless of what the fathers said? Or even steal the child bc she's around her so much? She hasn't done any of these things bc she obv respects the parents (even though she doesn't fully agree with them) and loves her child
In the end it's going to be the other way around. When the daughter finds out the first person she will question is her fathers. that relationship will be sabotaged not bc of the mother who wanted to tell her daughter to make it less stressful for everyone, but the fathers who deliberately hid the truth so their own feelings could be saved rather than the daughters well-being.
If I've been your father/mother since you could remember, what benefit is their to knowing you're adopted? Are you loved? Are you taken care of? So why does it matter. If they find out they find out and they'll be hit with the "I didn't think it was important. You're my child, nothing changes that"
If my child resents me for that then I didn't not instill the values I wanted into them.
@Kristle Casey I get what you're saying, BUT they're the parents. Do you have kids? Lets pretend you do. Who should decide when your child finds out life changing information? Should you as the parent decide or should I decide
You wouldn't want me deciding how you raise your kids. They're the parents, so they should know the child better and whens the best time to tell her.
Adoptee story: I wasn’t looking for family members, but I was matched to a half sibling after taking one of those ancestry DNA tests because I wanted to know where my ancestry came from. The kicker is, I lived my entire life believing that a man who died when I was 4 was my biological father, I collected his social security until I was 18 when he died as well. I wasn’t raised around that man’s family though so I didn’t know anyone on that side. So when I approached the half sibling on the DNA site, I had figured they were a half sibling from the man that died.
I was floored when they told me that their dad was alive and well and they did not even know the man I mentioned who had died or any of his family members. After probing a bit, I got their dad’s number and called him. Told him a bit about my biological mother (I was adopted within my mother’s family) and he did not know my biological mother’s name, didn’t recognize her in a photo. He didn’t even remember ever sleeping with her. Apparently, they ran in the same druggy circles back in the day and they never used first names, only nicknames. My biological mother (RIP) was a drug induced one night stand who he met once and never saw again……so he had absolutely no idea I even existed. 🙃
We got the paternity test done and yup, he’s my biological father. I guess I was lucky, because he turned out to be a pretty cool guy. We keep in touch but it’s still a bit awkward even after a few years. I never went into DNA ancestry looking for family members, but learned that I had 4 other half siblings and a father I never knew.
Be honest with your adopted kids about their origins and stop hiding family secrets you feel ashamed about. I promise you they will only look at you differently if you lie to them.
9:18- That girl didnt use the correct woke terminology to make her point. She shouldve said that they cannot relate to the child the same way that someone who has " a lived experience" as a girl/woman can do. I agree with A&P that there are some things that only someone of the same sex can teach you about growing up. Men do not understand how girls and women have to change how they relate to/exist in the world when their body starts changing, just like i dont (and never will) have the "lived experience" of being a juvenile boy and how that affects how you move through/see the world at that age. My husband and I have laughed many times when hes explained what its like to be lead by your D!ck cause all you can think about is s3x at 14 years old. As a female, that was NEVER a thing.
So I always had an incling that I was adopted. I recently spoke to my brother and he clarified it for me. Apparently I am of the family blood line but my parents are not my parents. He said my adoption story is way more than just plain and simple. They never told me and based on my experience with them, I am scared. My dad has asked my brother if I knew something because was acting different...like...it's crazy. It's really sad that I am 26 and don't know my story and I am too scared to ask. But I have to work through the emotions and muster up the courage 😥 like a lot of things they did and said we're just put into prospective...and it's just alot. I love them as my parents and always will...it's so funny, I never felt too much of an attachment to them. You know how you have that bond and attachment to your parents, I don't feel that at times
Well it's ok all families are different but doesn't change the fact that they one should have told you and if you want to know then you should ask because that's something you deserve to have known a long time ago tbh and once that happens maybe if you want y'all can work on rebuilding a relationship because it's hard being around people all your life and not being told the truth it just makes you feel like an outsider and really breaks the trust you had for them but people are not perfect they probably thought it was for the best when they( I think) all knew the truth but you deserve the truth and they shouldn't keep things form you if the really love you it won't be easy but it's your choice if you choose to know it may hurt if you choose not to know it will always eat away at you and I think it's best to also get therapy because sometimes things really hurt people and before you find out anything its good to have someone talk about exactly how you are feeling even if it's just a friend outside of the family that you can really trust and vent to ( hope this helps and gives you a little bit of courage 😌it's gonna be ok but do what's best for you ok if it's to much for you to handle maybe it's best that you don't know you don't have to rush things take it slow and get someone to talk about this with it may ease your anxiety and stress take time to really process things so when you do know the truth it will hit your hard but not enough to knock you down ok?! 😊 hope this helps just my opinion 🤗🤗stay strong gonna be ok ❤
That young lady was on point and she shouldn’t have backed down. She only meant to reference empathy and relatability when it comes to raising a child with similar experiences. A single cis heterosexual dad would have said the same thing!!!
Was a smart move, You have to choose your battles, she didn't know how the edition could be done and how it would go viral... she chose not to burn her future and present. In this era, organizations check social media before hiring someone.
Can we just shun away to normalize "cis h[beep]ual" as if that is a freaking thing? Humans are not some freaking cis-planar geometric isomerist structure.
As much accepting to be called the N-word by a bunch of weirdos and normalize it. Words gives power. Why do you think there never had any terminology for any deviant s3gsuality in most African native languages?
Cis heterosexual lol, you could just say heterosexual or keep it simple and say straight
Cis is only used by people in the lgbt community to label straight people who dont want that label
A dad would’ve said the same thing yes
@@Chessburber gay dudes used to be called sissys now they calling straight dudes ci? shit crazyyy 😂😂😂
I was adopted as an infant and my adoptive parents were open about it. They supported me in finding my birth mother. We all met each other and continued relationships until my birth mom passed.
14:10 THANK YOU. CHILDREN FIRST, T H E N THE PARENTS. Our generation is SO MF ENTITLED that this has to be said bc there’s a rising culture that puts the LGBTQ on such a tall pedestal that their emotional well-being is even considered when compared to that of our kids. Un. Fucking. Real. Thank you Aba.
I can tell you this conversation, I see it happened and is happening so many times. I used to be in the medical field, and now I am a teacher; there is a narrative being pushed onto the newer generations with this gender and non- labeling point of view that makes me question things. Since has the need of the children become so backward. There are girls coming up to me (as a female teacher) asking me how do I take care of myself when I am on my period since I have 2 Dads or no mother (I'm not bashing that at all) but as a woman there are things natural women have to teach the natural girls how to do. There needs to be priorities and not act on what the "feels" are.
I agree. This somehow makes me a terf when brought up in other conversations.
@KH-gj1wn well.....people will always have an opinion, but it doesn't mean you have to listen to it if it doesn't make sense. I call it here, but not present lol
Her reasoning for why she picked to gay dads sounds like some Death Note plan shit lmao, she really was thinking far into the future for this exact moment
Which tells me that she is somewhat of a selfish woman because she put this amount of forethought into trying to ensure she would be allowed back into her child's life after another couple chose to do all the heavy lifting for her, so she could have the opportunity to pretend to be motherly after the fact. She knew if her daughter had an adopted mother this scenario was not as likely to have gone down this way because the new mom would have probably been like " this b*tich ain't about to come in and try to steal my thunder after I've done most of the heavy lifting!"
“Hmm… I don’t want this kid now but maaaaaaaybe I will in the future. Let me do this so I can’t be replaced”
That is a sicknesss
@@victorewah2659 Exactly she is a d*** feminist because she wants to play them the role of a mother cause she specifically left that empty in her life but she wants no accountability no responsibility over that child so she wants to walk in and say you have to tell that child that it's mine even though you guys raised the baby closed the baby fed the baby to care of the baby did everything But guess what now that the baby's older I wanna come in and try and pretend to be the mom keyword is pretend what a piece of s***
@@cobaltblue5523 Yep! Most people choose not to see or acknowledge the very possibility that she could be this conniving or deceptive with her intentions because they immediately assume she's some innocent dove trying to do what's best for her child and couldn't possibly have orchestrated all of this merely to be self-serving and desire to alleviate herself of the guilt of choosing not to want to be a mother to her daughter. If the inverse scenario happened and it was a man attempting all of this he would have been labeled a deadbeat long ago and would be fought on trying to have access to the child after being an absentee parent for 11 years with no child support ever having been provided. Tell me I'm wrong!
You didn't want to be a mom
But you gave your kid to a gay couple
Because you don't want your kid to find a new mom
So you can come back in their life?
Why did you do all that?
🤣🤣
What a confused childhood...
I get it might be a tough decision for her but it's giving me "wanting to have your cake and eat it" vibes. I am surprised the parents let it go on for this long, either you are in full or stay away until the child is ready to establish contact, not that you will hover around like some fairy godmother.
@@calmandfree facts. That's her not wanting to be replaced as a primary female role model in the child's life while not having the responsibility of being the caregiver. Because if that child grew attached to a new mother they might not want the original in their life. Some high level narcissist shit.
@@Troll_vs. 100x thumbs up.
If the child is asking questions now it's best to address it now. It's almost like they're afraid of the outcome or ignoring the issue in hope it goes away. If she's gonna wait on the dads she could be waiting forever it seems so I say give them a timeline...we need to tell her before she turns 13 or else I'll have the conversation with myself....and I am sure they want to be apart of the discussion...RIP THE BANDAID MAN!!! just tell her!!!
I was also adopted in middle school by a 50 year old woman who couldn't have kids/periods. She had already been through menopause and it was hard for her to help my sister and I with our periods lol so I can only imagine Gay Men trying to help. Even if you step away from the subject and think about dating for example. You explain its painful or try to describe the feeling, and no Man has ever comprehended it. Men will be like "damn babe" and still lowkey expect you to "preform" or be in the mood... and you just have to sit there and be like "I know you can't comprehend this. But if feels like someone is stabbing me... so get off me bruh". Or play into that "bitchy Pms" vibe to get them to leave you alone during those couple of days
I watched this video and felt so frustrated with their reasoning to say no. I was raised by a single mom and she ALWAYS told me what happened. I know it’s not the exact same but if she would’ve lied to me about something I’d be so upset and felt betrayed. The gay guy was being very selfish.
When the woman mentioned picking a gay couple because she's an ally, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how pathetically virtue "signally" that was to say that. Unbelievable.
@@yingyang7448 oh lord not the “I’m an ally” 😭😭 idk why but that has always sounded so weird to me.
@@yingyang7448 putting the movement before what’s best for the child. Pathetic people
It’s not even about them understanding or being able to help. It’s about the girl might not feel comfortable asking her dads … it’s not that deep either 🙄 problematic 🙄🙄
Fr and those strong women they talking about won’t ever be as close as or comfortable enough like a mother.
@@rushlytiriboyivlogs7565 my mom didnt teach me about anything I found about it myself from internet
Isn't the whole point for people to share their thoughts? It angers me that someone would interrupt another person to say "I don't think you should say that, it's problematic" If I was giving my thoughts and someone did that to me, I would feel sooo disrespected. I would have s-s-smoke for them.
Congrats to Lessie. She found someone who wanted and could take care of her but she had empathy for both sides. She like most of people got tired of explaining where she came from when she was more qualified to speak on it than anyone.
Not adopted, but I was raised by a single father. He had no idea what is was like taking care of a little girl. God bless him lol we were open with our communication, but because of his ignorance, I was ignorant to a lot of things about my body that my peer group had to teach me.
This falls in the column of adults putting their needs above a child’s well being. That child is more likely than not going to feel like trash once they realize they have been around their mom the entire time without knowing that was their mom. That kid will hold a lot of resentment toward the people raising them.
I agree
And towards the mother because she chose to “not have issues with a mother later” 🤦🏽♀️
I went through a similar experience. I work in the tech industry and a friend of mine was trying to convince me that the wage gap exists. I was telling them that the studies that concluded on the wage gap were debunked, and that it hadn't been my experience with my own pay. They kept trying to shut me up and I was like "???" Wouldn't my perspective matter since I'm in these male-dominated spaces we're discussing?
Women at a factory I worked at were getting mad we got paid les BUT we simply could not do what they were doing ( some extremely strong women may have been able to but that was not any of us”
I pointed out the fact that we couldn’t actually lift what they were lifting and that actually it wasn’t worth the few extra bucks to destroy our backs etc ( 90% of those guys were injured from work) us women got to cut vegetables for a few bucks less and not destroy our bodies.
They didn’t get it . Victim mentality
Also one of them never let her kids see their dads since babies cos he cheated.
Totally oblivious to her disproportionate amount of parental rights she had. Still taking child support. Actually the vibe was very anti male.
"We're not friends, calm down" fucking hell where did that come from lmao.
Aba nailed it about being lied to. My dad adopted my brother when he was 1. He's older so it was a couple years before I was born. I don't know when or if they they were ever going to tell him but an Aunt let it slip when he was 9 and it messed him up. It was the 70's when he was adopted, so times were different. He's had huge issues with relationships and trust ever since. It's partly his personality, he's the kid that felt like parents were making fun of him by lying about Santa, but it's also from that trauma.
Telling kids Santa is real is a lie and a nasty way to bring up a child . Dont blame him. You tell your kids not to lie but the parents do.....sick
@@dantelm2366 I'll never understand that way of thinking. I've raised 4 kids and none took it that way. It's about bringing magic to a very hard non magical world. Even through they're old enough to know about Santa we still "believe" and presents are from Santa. I also don't understand when people don't want to give Santa credit for presents. The years kids are old enough to understand Santa until they're too old is such a small fraction of their lives. Once they're old enough they appreciate the work and what goes into it. We also lie to kids every day, "you can be anything you want when you grow up", "everything will be ok", and a hundred other things. It's all part of parenting.
@@dantelm2366 this is a new narrative that is pushed out that kids become traumatized after finding out Santa isn't real. Billions of children for centuries have believed in St. Nick/Santa and yet they teach their children the same. If it was so traumatizing, why would it have lasted so long? I know one person who claimed her kid was traumatized, but when I asked him he didn't care. Gen Z loves to exaggerate everything.
@@dantelm2366 ohwell🤷🏾♀️ still doing it.
Same thing happened to my brother but he was 4 or 5. He also took it hard.
I wouldn't change the passed for anything but this is why parents should stay together.
When I was young and I learned where babies came from, I asked my mom if I came from her belly. That was when my parents explained to me that I was adopted, that it didn't change how much they loved me, and told me the story of when I met them and the ride home from TN to Texas. I asked who my parents were and my dad said when I was older and ready, he would tell me. At 19 he told me everything. When I asked about my biological mother later in life, my dad gave me the file he had on me, my biological mother and father, and a whole lot of information. I reached out and have since talked to my biological mother. I am so very thankful for her strength in putting me up for adoption and the life my mother and father gave me.
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It's wild that people are thinking that if they lie long enough that the person they lied to won't think less of them when it comes out. Trust is built on the truth and you can't complain about not being trusted when you've lied.
Damn! Lessie a straight G. She seems to have a really good head on her shoulders. Props to her for being so open, honest, and courageous!
I know an adopted woman that was told by her adoptive mother she was adopted at age about 3 or 4. Best thing possible. She grew up knowing she was adopted and that her parents love her to the point they didn't need to hide that from her.
Her mom invented a night time story of a girl who was born from the heart of her mother not like other kids. I can't remember details of the story. I just know that the kid loved the story so much that she started playing that she was the girl in the story and then her mother said that she really was the girl of the story. So she learned the truth in a beautiful way when she was very young. She's 27 now.
This is why going along with psychosis is “problematic”
What Lessie said was 100 percent CORRECT! Two gay men are not going to
be able to tell a girl about her body and what goes on with her body in terms of a period etc. They are not women….. it’s that simple
And the gay man even confirmed by saying he will lean on the women in their lives.
Very scary that she choose “two gay dads to because I’m an Ally”
This is not that hard to explain lol. You’re acting like she’s screwed hahahaha
@@testcase6997 I didn’t say she was screwed at all….. I was responding in the case of saying it’s problematic to say that two men can’t relate to what women go through
Which is a fact. As much as you explain they won’t ever know and vice versa for women…. There are things we won’t ever truly understand and that’s okay.
@@jazzminesteward8801 come up with better arguments than “you wouldn’t understand because you’re this” how’d you like it if people told you you wouldn’t understand because you’re a woman?
@@testcase6997because their experience is not the same 😂what don’t you get
@@Babemovac What part of my comment are you replying to? Can you quote the part of my comment yours in replying to?
The fact that she said she could get to know her 10 month old brother!! This woman's manipulative!! & That why she kept the brother, but not her.
I agree it’s messed up because she’d have resentment towards the baby 🤦🏾♀️
Huh
That doesn't make sense. The 1st kid is ELEVEN yrs old vs a year ago 🤦🏽♀️
She had a baby 10 years later and now is in a different place
I agree that there is only so much a man can assist with when it comes to a girl/woman/female. I loved staying with my dad and going to his house but, when I got my period or I had some female concerns I wouldn't feel comfortable with him and asked for my mum, aunts or sisters. Same with my nephew. His dad isn't around but when it comes to certain things he shys away from speaking but will talk to my brothers and cousins (male).
I know a guy who didnt find out that his father wasnt his biological father until he was 52 years old and looking for a family match for an organ. Imagine the pain and to learn at that time. People need to tell their kids the truth about their parents as early as possible. Any effort not to is putting the wants of the parents above the kids.
The fact that she said she chose a gay couple with the intention of not having an issue with the adopted mother kind of proves that deep down she knows a mother's love and connection with their child is different from the connection with a father. But then she selfishly denied the child of having a mother's love by choosing a gay couple just so she can have a re-entry. But then she tried to make it seem like she's an ally to the community but she really just did that because she was afraid of competition from the adopted mother. SMH
I literaly just said in another comment that people that call themselves "ally" are con-artists just using the people they say they want to help for their own gain. And I was immediately proven right with this example right here!!! Oh My God!!!
Its kinda starting to sound like she wants the kid back & knew she would when she purposefully chose a gay couple.
There are plenty of gay couples that raise happy children
She wasn’t problematic when she said that about the two dads telling her about her period and puberty and understanding what to do . It just a fact
As an adopted child, if it’s an open adoption, biological parents have to go through the adoptive parents. Many times as a kid I wanted to know my birth family (I was in a closed adoption/zero contact with biological family). At the end of the day, though, adoptive parents ARE the child’s PARENT. They have ultimate say.
When biological parents reach out without letting the adoptive parents get involved, it could open up a lot of opportunities for problems. “I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my real parent!” “I’m running away to my real parent’s house.” “I’m going to go to my real parent’s house cuz they let me do X, Y, and Z.” etc. etc.
It’s selfish to insert yourself into a child’s life with no legal guarantees that you will 100% stay. It’s selfish to the adoptive parents to do anything with THEIR CHILD without their knowledge or consent. It’s also such a cop-out to use the 10 month old sibling as emotional leverage for their reasoning. SHE👏🏻IS👏🏻BEING👏🏻SELFISH 👏🏻
Perhaps this woman isn’t telling the whole truth (victim mentality)? Maybe this adoptive couple is dealing with issues in the family/household that she is unaware of? Perhaps the birth family has drug/crime issues? This all seems very sketchy imo and I’m kinda disgusted that Jubilee is ok with finding the grey area of a child’s life/development. Doing this to an 11 year old is putting her at risk fro a traumatic response if her expectations aren’t met.
I’m a lesbian and I approve this message! I would never think I could raise a BOY with my WIFE just because I identify with “masculine energies”
Stop it you’re making too much sense
Your cancelled for not girl bossing hard enough to fill the gender gap and...(checks notes)...hmmm.. oh right misogyny and toxic masculinity.
@@sahirdamani1264 You're gonna be surprised at the amount of us Alphabet People who are cool and reasonable/aren't insane like the people online and in the media. We just wanna live without being fucked with, but these chronically online "activists" makes it real hard.
@@DQNPRSN
Exactly. I'm not part of the LGBTQ community, but I am noticing how people who are not a part of the community are speaking for you guys. It's very similar to how some white liberals speak for us black people, not knowing a damn thing about what we truly want.
@@octbaby88 Yeah and, like when white leftists speak on our issues as black people, they give the bigots more ammunition to fuck with us. It surely makes navigating these overwhelmingly politically polarizing times that much harder.
My cousin wasn't told she was adopted until she was in her 40's and it was an accident. She spoke with my Uncle, whom she hadn't spoken to in many years before this, and he let it slip thinking she already knew. Her mother lived with her and told the family on many occasions she didn't want her to know she was adopted until she was dead. You can only imagine the pain and anger the 'slip' caused, which still bleeds on to this day as they continue to live together because the mother has no where else to go. My cousin has since located her birth parents (the birth mother unfortunately wanted nothing to do with her but her birth father was overjoyed and they regularly see each other) while there is a lingering resentment for keeping the secret toward her mother that will never fade.
The truth will always come out, and it's always better sooner than later.
My father is a sperm donor. My mom is a single mom, I’ve never had a father in my life. My mother has only had a single boyfriend that lasted for around 4 months. So ever since I was 3 I would ask men around my mom if they were my dad. The thing is, is that my father made my mom sign an NDA about any of his information, so she couldn't tell me anything, she also hardly knew anything. I know nothing about my father, other than that he is an engineer. I don’t even know if he’s alive. That shit hurts, when I was a lot younger, I would cry myself to sleep. Because my mother wasn’t very present either. She was always working, and I know nothing about my dad. So I have never had a long-lasting parental relationship in my life. That is really hard to deal with.
Ok.... from the perspective of someone not in that situation at all:
The fact this woman gets to have a relationship with her daughter, knowing it's her daughter, while from the daughter's side of things it's just a 'friend of the family'.... is fucked up. It's really selfish on the part of the mother.
Thinking of how I would react if someone that was in my bubble of people, my whole life, but that got to know the truth while I didn't? I can't think of very many things more fucking selfish than someone being in your life and not giving you the same relationship that they are getting out of it..... and trust me, for the mother, that definitely is her getting to spend time with her daughter.
I'd be so pissed, I'm not sure I'd ever want to talk to that person ever again.
I'm not surprised they went after her for that comment. These days you're not allowed to admit that there's differences between men/women and moms/dads. And it's also not surprising that she caved to the mob almost instantly.
this 1 wave of offended people are the ones predicted to be single and unable to have children later in life crying on tiktok that racism is the reason, or the polar opposite have 6 kids with 6 different baby fathers
Learn to make arguments without going “you’re white you wouldn’t understand or you’re a man you wouldn’t understand”
That’s all dummy
I was on a date with a mix girl black&white. In our conversation she told me she was raised only by her mother who was white and didn’t know or ever see her father. (She was a result of a hook-up. And her father had no idea about her existence.) As she grew, she started to notice that she was of a darker complexion than her mother and she would ask her about it. And she told me her mom would say that it’s because she drank a lot of chocolate milk while pregnant with her. For a long time she was scared to drink or eat anything involved with chocolate. Her mom kept her from knowing that a man is involved in order to give birth. So she thought her mom was her only parent. When she started to grow more and know more about the world, at about 7 she said one day she was looking in the mirror and said to herself “omg, I’m black.” And from then on she said it was really hard to trust her mother. Years later when she was 20, She actually jumped through hoops to find her biological father because it bothered her for very long time that she didn’t know, and eventually did. And they have a good relationship. He father also has a wife and children with another woman, and she gets along with her half siblings. Her fathers other wife is embarrassed about her though, so their relationship isn’t so well. And it’s all because the mom decided to keep this secret. This was the most interested I have ever been listening to someone’s story on a date.
I can’t believe her father was robbed of the opportunity to be in her life early on. That’s horrible that her mother hid him from her and lied about her race 😂😭 like wtf?!
It’s cool you met someone interesting on a date 👏🏾💯
It pissed me off when they got upset with that girl about the gay male couple not being fully equipped to help a girl through puberty. That’s just the facts! Only another woman will 100% understand what they’re going through no man gay or straight will ever understand.
My parents told me the moment that they knew I would understand what being adopted meant. Well my sister would have told me if they hadn't, but they felt it was only right to let me know. I never knew my birth parents. Never met them. They forfeited that right after neglecting my older sister. I feel very fortunate with how it turned out. My birth parents were degenerates and I'm almost positive I would be dead or in jail if I hadn't been adopted. I have never met them and don't really think about it all until people speak of adoption. My birth father recently passed away and I felt like the tiniest bit of me left. Birth parents should just tell the truth early because kids love their real parents. The ones that raise them.
This conversation is a microcosm. The internet is the exact same - so many people call you out without understanding the sentiment and intent of a statement and just project their own issues onto your statements. SMH
Factual.
Yep
I actually have 2 Cousins that are adopted and they said it is very Paramount that they knew Who their birth parents were because the fact of being lied to for all the years, they felt like they were some dirty secret. Thankfully they did eventually learn the truth and they did get closure but as far as the connection they had with their adoptive parents it was damaged beyond repair
Why are adopted people so goddamn stupid lol
First thought: Talk to the family, does the kid even know they're adopted yet? If the kid cares they can chose to look into the matter at 18, some don't even want to know...
Until then it's up really up to the adopted parents to figure out when it's best for the child, if the child isn't ready to know the whole truth forcing them could be very bad.
Real question is why is she even in her life? Did she go out of her way to be their neighbor to force their hand or something cause that sounds kind of creepy...
Guy who never left no, saying she shouldn't ambush the child and wait for the family to be ready, has the right take. Issue comes to why they don't want to reveal it...
Does the kid feel uncomfortable around the lady because she's a random person forced her way into her life and they're trying to break it to her lightly,
You know that the creepy lady you don't like being around is really your mother... Depending on her connection to the family the kid might already know, kids pick up on things...
Or maybe they asked the kid and they said she doesn't want to know or meet her mom yet, and so they don't want to force her into it... A lot of unknown factors muddy the water...
Side note, telling her just so she can be part of your other kid's life or relieve your guilt or whatever, but not be willing step up to be part of her life (if kid wants it) is a bit selfish...
Bro we're not friends, calm down... You guys are great.
Some other videos I do have to force myself to tolerate but it’s fun seeing different perspectives from you guys being black and me being a Latino. Either way I love the insight and the rough jokes for the most part…..I really really enjoyed this one from someone who was adopted from Guatemala. How insightful you guys were and it’s true what the lady said over the phone. Idk if I would be able to trust my (white) parents if they hide that from me even though I’m pretty sure I would have figured it out sooner or later
The longer they wait the more the child will hate them for waiting this long.
There are sooo much problematic shit with adoption and NOT putting the childs best interests first is my biggest one. LYING TO THE CHILD will only hurt them. Let them know as early as possible instead of letting them live a lie. Lots of adoptive parents rather let the kid live a LIE to feel like a "real" parent over prioritizing how HURT their kid will be.
You still have to think about the little girl’s feelings to know her birth mom gave her up and kept the next baby, may give her feelings of abandonment or affect her self worth why her mom didn’t keep her, and it will also cause an issue about what to do if the girl wants to go live with the birth mom, but she can’t that will cause problems also, and is the birth mom going to be in the girl’s life permanently and consistently it would be unfair to pop up and say I’m your mom I kept your little brother but then not be there consistently she may cause more damage. And what is her reason for wanting to tell her? Is she thinking whats best for her daughter or is it about her own selfish reasons?
Im late as hell on this video but this is hitting home for me. I married into my wifes family, my wifes sister had 2 girls. She kept the first one and the second is with my wifes brother. They dont know they are siblings. My wifes sister passed and now we have the oldest one who is now 17. I been telling my wife they have to know especially know that my niece feels she has no immediate family but they wanna hold it secret. I have a half-brother and i found out young and jt never bothered me as much as if i found out later on. This situations kills me everytime i see them together and im glad ya pointed out that we suppose to be tending to the childs needs
Not to mention, me and my wife are haitian and we are fighting to gain custody of our foster kid who is a lightskinned Hispanic. God willing we are able to adopt him he will know off the bat what hes adopted but we will teach him the difference between use and his biological mother