Michael has boundaries that need to be respected. If he doesn’t want to be touched then the parents should help set that boundary. It’s not a sister problem as much as a parent problem. I see a lot of parents that just make excuses for their child instead of parenting. I understand the sister has special needs and needs extra parenting and practice to keep boundaries but that doesn’t mean you never try.
You don’t know they haven’t tried. They probably have. But when you have a person who is essentially a really big toddler it’s very hard to make them understand these things. If she doesn’t have the capacity to understand why it’s inappropriate, then she doesn’t and no amount of trying to teach her will make it so. So I think it’s maybe jumping the gun in that respect. I agree with Lucy that the answer for me would be to have her there for some of the day and not other bits.
@@snugbugxxx the way the story read it sounded like the parents didn’t even try. I have an autistic kid and know it’s harder to parent but that doesn’t mean you just give up and let her sexually assault people.
As an autistic woman who respects boundaries; the person who should be making the call about the autistic sister in the wedding story is Michael; OP's groom. If he feels sexually harassed the sister should not be at the wedding. If she is simply mildly annoying to him I would recommend either talking to Anna to confirm if she cannot handle Michael giving her boundaries and making a decision about her attendance within 2-4 weeks of the wedding. But it really is up to the couple who is getting married.
@@bibliowolf5735 you also have the capacity to read and write and watch CZcams videos and make decisions like this. Anna very clearly doesn’t have that. It is very harsh to blame the parents when we literally have no idea what they have tried to do. It could be that Anna simply doesn’t have the capacity to understand boundaries and that isn’t anyone’s fault, least of all her parents.
Autism story part two: The sister should not be expected to care for the other one. It sounds like the parents haven’t really tried to help the younger and is enabling the behavior. Saying that the husband needs to get over it. Ugh no. He’s allowed to have boundaries and feel uncomfortable with the sister wanting to touch and kiss him. AUTISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE for behavior.
I agree, the sister should have been helped to learn how to behave around others, and if she was not able to learn then I think there should be a person on Anna duty for the wedding to keep her occupied and stop her from crossing the husbands boundaries.
It’s not an excuse if she’s is literally unable to understand those boundaries and why it’s not appropriate behaviour. You can’t teach a person to have more capacity for understanding than they have.
I don’t agree with the parents. Being the sibling of someone with a disability must be so hard. You just have constantly shared attention and got less of it as you are growing up. Your wedding should be for you. That one special day.
Those parents sound horrible. Wow. So awkward for Michael, putting him in the middle of the dysfunction. I feel awful for the daughter getting married. Clearly, there have been YEARS of history and dysfunctional family dynamic before her extreme decision to uninvite her sister. The parents' behavior is appalling.
You guys are hilarious. He and you’re very cute. Every now and then I do catch your podcast here and there. And you have had awesome topics. I love you guys laughing at yourselves! It just shows that we all can have a sense of humor about our disability
Lucy could have aphantasia, where a person doesn't picture things in their mind. Not related to vison or not. Some people just can't picture things in their mind. Quiet interesting. Like people who don't have an inner voice.
@@lucyedwards Oh yes, it's rare when I don't visualize a thought in some way or another at least when working through a creative idea. Self-reflecting. Or just letting my mind wander. To clarify though, it's more like general visualization it's not like a movie playing in my head where each image is crisp and clear. I have to be dreaming to achieve that level of clarity.
I love this! You guys make me smile so much. I love your relationship and the way you bounce off of each other. It’s so lovely. I was laughing with you, especially at the end! Look forward to next week! Emma and Guide Dog Archie XX
Lol omg I can’t with you two. I think my biggest dilemma at the moment is not being able to be in a room with you two during the filming of this podcast. As is, I’m pausing every six seconds to write down what you say. But its so interesting to think about dreams, because I get this question a lot about how i visualize dreams and colors and what not as a totally blind person who has never been able to see, and I too see it all as a story. The ball homework assignment had me thinking about the story, but also, I could imagine the sound of it in each stage of its journey, too. But thats actually trying to imagine it, where a dream is very much a story and maybe the emotions from that story? Its a interesting conversation.
Glad you didn't answer the last hate comment is was your wedding day you can blind fold your gest if you like. I loved your wedding video hope you to have a long and happy marriage.
Could you please make a video on intimacy and relationships as a blind woman, as a blind teenager leaving high school , I would love to hear about this topic more and hear your perspective
Out of context quotes: “Lucy, but i look like I’m punched.. I’ve been punched in the eyeballs.” “Ollie can’t remember key moments in our life like this morning.” “While you’re scrolling through your phone, I’m just going to talk to the lovely people about how I remember events in our life and you remember useless facts… “Right Oliver, are you going to play your lovely voice?” “James farts on New Years eve.” “I definitely have a memory of this conversation and he’ll go no, no, no, no, no, until I go its definitely there darling, and then he’ll go, yeah, yeah, oh right, yeah.” “This was recorded at twenty past 10 a.m.” “And?” “You were eating a packet of skips.” “I was just guiding you around with the trolley getting excited about enchiladas.” “I don’t know why you were in a Korean supermarket darling.” “Farmoosus? Surely there is a better name than farmoosus.” “Sounds like a kings name from like back in the day like farmoosus the grate.” “I think you need to get out of your bum hole and actually understand.” “Luc, are you telling me there are disabled people in Switzerland?? Who actually need some infrastructure???” “I really didn’t think this through. And its time for the cha cha slide.” “Why dress up, Lu, when you’re going to spend five minutes of the nine hour day blindfolded? Why bother? Come in your pajamas. Come naked. Come swinging in the wind. Your bigger sticker’s out.” “To be fair, that probably would’ve made a more viral video, but like…” “We belly laugh…” “At our naked wedding.” “That would not be a youtube video.” “Jus tkellso, man. Live it up.” “Kellso isn’t being very chill. Kellso is not being Kellso.”
If I may point out the obvious. The wedding was recorded. You have the video posted online of you walking down the aisle. So, therefore, even the blindfolded people are able to see you walk down the aisle.
I love the pod but I think AITA that involve autism should be scrapped. Most non autistic people have no idea what autism actually is which usually leads to bad takes and perpetuating harmful stereotypes/myths. AITA is also RIFE with ableism.
I'm sorry but as an autistic person myself, OP and her fiancé should NOT be forced to just "accept" it when her sister crosses his boundaries and makes him uncomfortable. Assuming that OP is jealous of her sister because of this one singular post is honestly not it. Lucy, I love your content, but this was just a bad take.
You are one autistic person who is clearly much higher functioning than Anna is. You cannot compare the two. I have a severely autistic child and two that are much less high needs (and I’m also autistic) and I would be devastated if my kids didn’t want their sibling at their weddings, he also struggles with personal boundaries, but thankfully his siblings partners love and accept him regardless.
@@snugbugxxx Of course I don't think the sister shouldn't be allowed at the wedding?? That's not what I was trying to say at all, I don't know how else to explain myself and now I'm just worried that I sound like an awful person. I'm sorry.
Autism story: There has to be a way she can still be involved in the day. The parents can work with her on social stories with pictures on boundaries and social etiquette. Videos and songs with no touching, hands to self. Therapy can help too. Get a therapist or (for lack of a better word a “handler”) for the day of. Maybe have her skip the ceremony but come to the reception.
This really hit a nerve for me. Being a person who went to a school for the visually impaired and blind. I know what it's like being touched when maybe you don't really want to be touched. But I beared it. And I'm sorry but I'm on the parent side. Also what is family meant to be for if they don't take up the roll of carer when the parents die? Oh it's so easy putting someone in a home. Life isn't a bed of roses and if the sister had a drop of Dignity she would stand up and love her sister, doesn't matter but she may be disabled.
Don’t they have visually impaired people in? Flag of 🇨🇭? It’s not just for you it’s for everybody everybody benefits from universal design. I’m dumb for an elevator used for people in 🦼 baby strollers use them too.😊😊😊😊
Michael has boundaries that need to be respected. If he doesn’t want to be touched then the parents should help set that boundary. It’s not a sister problem as much as a parent problem. I see a lot of parents that just make excuses for their child instead of parenting. I understand the sister has special needs and needs extra parenting and practice to keep boundaries but that doesn’t mean you never try.
You don’t know they haven’t tried. They probably have. But when you have a person who is essentially a really big toddler it’s very hard to make them understand these things. If she doesn’t have the capacity to understand why it’s inappropriate, then she doesn’t and no amount of trying to teach her will make it so. So I think it’s maybe jumping the gun in that respect.
I agree with Lucy that the answer for me would be to have her there for some of the day and not other bits.
@@snugbugxxx the way the story read it sounded like the parents didn’t even try. I have an autistic kid and know it’s harder to parent but that doesn’t mean you just give up and let her sexually assault people.
As an autistic woman who respects boundaries; the person who should be making the call about the autistic sister in the wedding story is Michael; OP's groom. If he feels sexually harassed the sister should not be at the wedding. If she is simply mildly annoying to him I would recommend either talking to Anna to confirm if she cannot handle Michael giving her boundaries and making a decision about her attendance within 2-4 weeks of the wedding. But it really is up to the couple who is getting married.
Imo the bride's parents failed Anna.
@@bibliowolf5735 you also have the capacity to read and write and watch CZcams videos and make decisions like this. Anna very clearly doesn’t have that. It is very harsh to blame the parents when we literally have no idea what they have tried to do. It could be that Anna simply doesn’t have the capacity to understand boundaries and that isn’t anyone’s fault, least of all her parents.
Autism story part two:
The sister should not be expected to care for the other one.
It sounds like the parents haven’t really tried to help the younger and is enabling the behavior. Saying that the husband needs to get over it. Ugh no. He’s allowed to have boundaries and feel uncomfortable with the sister wanting to touch and kiss him.
AUTISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE for behavior.
I agree, the sister should have been helped to learn how to behave around others, and if she was not able to learn then I think there should be a person on Anna duty for the wedding to keep her occupied and stop her from crossing the husbands boundaries.
It’s not an excuse if she’s is literally unable to understand those boundaries and why it’s not appropriate behaviour. You can’t teach a person to have more capacity for understanding than they have.
I don’t agree with the parents. Being the sibling of someone with a disability must be so hard. You just have constantly shared attention and got less of it as you are growing up. Your wedding should be for you. That one special day.
Bless your soul
That was a great point of view Lucy
Those parents sound horrible. Wow. So awkward for Michael, putting him in the middle of the dysfunction. I feel awful for the daughter getting married. Clearly, there have been YEARS of history and dysfunctional family dynamic before her extreme decision to uninvite her sister. The parents' behavior is appalling.
you guys could discuss paint drying and it would still be entertaining
Thanks guys! ❤
Hello to you all! Glad to catch the pod.
Hiiii!! 😊😊
You guys are hilarious. He and you’re very cute. Every now and then I do catch your podcast here and there. And you have had awesome topics. I love you guys laughing at yourselves! It just shows that we all can have a sense of humor about our disability
I love you guys 😂😂 you make me laugh so much!😂😭
Lucy could have aphantasia, where a person doesn't picture things in their mind.
Not related to vison or not. Some people just can't picture things in their mind. Quiet interesting.
Like people who don't have an inner voice.
It’s so interesting. Do you picture things in your mind? 🙂
@@lucyedwards Oh yes, it's rare when I don't visualize a thought in some way or another at least when working through a creative idea. Self-reflecting. Or just letting my mind wander.
To clarify though, it's more like general visualization it's not like a movie playing in my head where each image is crisp and clear. I have to be dreaming to achieve that level of clarity.
I love this! You guys make me smile so much. I love your relationship and the way you bounce off of each other. It’s so lovely. I was laughing with you, especially at the end! Look forward to next week! Emma and Guide Dog Archie XX
Lots of hugs! Xxx
Oh my, first time watching and definitely hooked
You should definitely check out the earlier episodes, there quite worth it!
Welcome aboard! 😊😊😊
Lol omg I can’t with you two. I think my biggest dilemma at the moment is not being able to be in a room with you two during the filming of this podcast. As is, I’m pausing every six seconds to write down what you say. But its so interesting to think about dreams, because I get this question a lot about how i visualize dreams and colors and what not as a totally blind person who has never been able to see, and I too see it all as a story. The ball homework assignment had me thinking about the story, but also, I could imagine the sound of it in each stage of its journey, too. But thats actually trying to imagine it, where a dream is very much a story and maybe the emotions from that story? Its a interesting conversation.
Glad you didn't answer the last hate comment is was your wedding day you can blind fold your gest if you like.
I loved your wedding video hope you to have a long and happy marriage.
Could you please make a video on intimacy and relationships as a blind woman, as a blind teenager leaving high school , I would love to hear about this topic more and hear your perspective
Yes absolutely! We’ve put this on the list 😊
@@lucyedwards thank you so much
Out of context quotes:
“Lucy, but i look like I’m punched.. I’ve been punched in the eyeballs.”
“Ollie can’t remember key moments in our life like this morning.”
“While you’re scrolling through your phone, I’m just going to talk to the lovely people about how I remember events in our life and you remember useless facts…
“Right Oliver, are you going to play your lovely voice?”
“James farts on New Years eve.”
“I definitely have a memory of this conversation and he’ll go no, no, no, no, no, until I go its definitely there darling, and then he’ll go, yeah, yeah, oh right, yeah.”
“This was recorded at twenty past 10 a.m.”
“And?”
“You were eating a packet of skips.”
“I was just guiding you around with the trolley getting excited about enchiladas.”
“I don’t know why you were in a Korean supermarket darling.”
“Farmoosus? Surely there is a better name than farmoosus.”
“Sounds like a kings name from like back in the day like farmoosus the grate.”
“I think you need to get out of your bum hole and actually understand.”
“Luc, are you telling me there are disabled people in Switzerland?? Who actually need some infrastructure???”
“I really didn’t think this through. And its time for the cha cha slide.”
“Why dress up, Lu, when you’re going to spend five minutes of the nine hour day blindfolded? Why bother? Come in your pajamas. Come naked. Come swinging in the wind. Your bigger sticker’s out.”
“To be fair, that probably would’ve made a more viral video, but like…”
“We belly laugh…”
“At our naked wedding.”
“That would not be a youtube video.”
“Jus tkellso, man. Live it up.”
“Kellso isn’t being very chill. Kellso is not being Kellso.”
Love this! Such silly quotes 😂😂
If I may point out the obvious. The wedding was recorded. You have the video posted online of you walking down the aisle. So, therefore, even the blindfolded people are able to see you walk down the aisle.
I love the pod but I think AITA that involve autism should be scrapped. Most non autistic people have no idea what autism actually is which usually leads to bad takes and perpetuating harmful stereotypes/myths. AITA is also RIFE with ableism.
I'm sorry but as an autistic person myself, OP and her fiancé should NOT be forced to just "accept" it when her sister crosses his boundaries and makes him uncomfortable. Assuming that OP is jealous of her sister because of this one singular post is honestly not it. Lucy, I love your content, but this was just a bad take.
You are one autistic person who is clearly much higher functioning than Anna is. You cannot compare the two. I have a severely autistic child and two that are much less high needs (and I’m also autistic) and I would be devastated if my kids didn’t want their sibling at their weddings, he also struggles with personal boundaries, but thankfully his siblings partners love and accept him regardless.
@@snugbugxxx Of course I don't think the sister shouldn't be allowed at the wedding?? That's not what I was trying to say at all, I don't know how else to explain myself and now I'm just worried that I sound like an awful person. I'm sorry.
@@RammyPeaches Don't apologize; snugbugxxx appears to be a troll who contradicts every single autistic commenter who has a critical or negative take.
Autism story:
There has to be a way she can still be involved in the day.
The parents can work with her on social stories with pictures on boundaries and social etiquette. Videos and songs with no touching, hands to self.
Therapy can help too. Get a therapist or (for lack of a better word a “handler”) for the day of.
Maybe have her skip the ceremony but come to the reception.
This really hit a nerve for me.
Being a person who went to a school for the visually impaired and blind. I know what it's like being touched when maybe you don't really want to be touched.
But I beared it.
And I'm sorry but I'm on the parent side.
Also what is family meant to be for if they don't take up the roll of carer when the parents die?
Oh it's so easy putting someone in a home.
Life isn't a bed of roses and if the sister had a drop of Dignity she would stand up and love her sister, doesn't matter but she may be disabled.
2ND COMMENT!!!
NTA 3000. She is not making an outlandish request by any stretch of the imagination.
Don’t they have visually impaired people in? Flag of 🇨🇭? It’s not just for you it’s for everybody everybody benefits from universal design. I’m dumb for an elevator used for people in 🦼 baby strollers use them too.😊😊😊😊