Why are only MEN allowed to AGE??
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Ep 225 | @AdellaAfadi joins the boys to discuss
0:00 Preview
1:25 big hands
2:54 being a tall woman
10:23 race mixin math
13:56 why we should settle
21:00 marriage is a happy trap
26:55 why only men are allowed to age
30:29 the paradox of "uglyhot" men
36:27 are men not impacted by beauty standards
40:25 alpha male bootcamps
44:53 are divine masculinity and divine femininity even real?
57:08 is it a red flag if they...have self harmed?
Watch Adella's video essays on beauty standards, friendship, and growth:
/ @adellaafadi
Watch all of the content from our UK trip here:
• THE GANG GOES TO LONDO... - Komedie
Alvin big as fuck. Respectfully. I never imagined he was corn fed like that.
I know. Big and fine I might add.
This nigga Alvin is the brains AND the brawn 😂
Fine as hell
A big strong mighty man
What a man, what a man, what a man
I think the "divine masculine" paradox is best exemplified by the show You, in a weird way. As much as Joe has issues with women, he has as many problems with men. In every season there are examples of "good" men that he purposely ignores. In the first season it was his coworker at the bookstore, the second his direct supervisor at the grocery store, the third the guy creating the "man retreat" in the suburbs. He purposely compares himself to abusers and misogynists so that he can seem better by comparison, but when faced with an actual "good guy" he ignores it because he can't face the truth that he's not actually one of them. This is best seen in the third season, where he actually could've benefited from the "man retreat" being run by a guy who has a loving marriage, interesting sex life, and leadership position in his community without resorting to extreme violence yet Joe rejects the entire thing, even though he's never in any actual danger during the retreat. Because accepting the existence of that would mean accepting that he's not actually a good guy. So he holds onto the delusion that he's the only "good guy" to maintain his sense of superiority while also not having to take accountability for his harmful actions.
Beautifully said!
Alvin was fckn SPITTIN in this episode!! He often is, but I REALLY liked how he went in on why we should dismantle the whole masculine/feminine dichotomy. Just because its socially 'real' doesnt mean we should maintain that!! Sure, we start from where we are today, but I dont think we should put any value to that beyond a floating marker of where we are today (and how we got here).
I think when we do find out whats more 'nature' vs 'nurture' we may be surprised at how how much the two is intermingled... ie how much the 'nature' is augmented by the 'nurture'... and vice versa. Thus the importance of changing what we can change instead of just accepting what 'is'.
Exactly!!!
Alvin is an absolute unit
the crossover i was not expecting at all lol literally clicked into the video expecting an adella video then clicked out thinking it was a bug that her typical thumbnail was on a wtrf video then clicked back in 😂 love to see it
Alvin over here looking like he could have played lineman for georgia. When he dissapears next time imma assume he got called up to the pros on a one day contract.
Seeing the proportions of all of their bodies in the room together is sending me.
I got married so my wife could get my health insurance. We were together for 6 years and decided it made sense and had a backyard wedding
''...unless someone who's actually 6'4 pulls up.''💀
Guys, when you say "but she's hot" that's the point EVEN hot old women have the feeling their value is diminished with age. There's a line in the barbie movie that shouldn't exist. Barbie is crying because she doesn't feel perfect enough to be barbie and the narrator chimes in and says "maybe casting someone as pretty as Margot Robbie takes away from this message" no it doesn't. That's the whole point is you can't escape these standards even if you are the standard people measure themselves against.
Geez Alvin is taller than i thought he be slouching in the streams I guess😂
As a 5'7 guy, which is really average worldwide, you just really get used to being the tall short guy, or the short person otherwise.
I was one with a girl who was taller. I used to stand on my skateboard to kiss her. She used to wear the tallest heels so she could rest her elbow on my shoulder.
We just rolled with the style and it was great.
Married man here, and I'm with Al. My standards for leaving are very much the same as dating. My first instinct is to work through difficulty, but if it's untenable and unhealthy, it's time to go. Now I 100% don't have his finances, but agree on the general ethos of his reasoning.
Absolutely, it makes sense to want to make things work within reason. Its people who want to completely change you into something you're not that becomes the problem, regardless of gender.
Durag Al back in the building!
34:53 Older woman does have a certain appeal. But in general we don't really find older men or women attractive. Even that "distinguished" adjective are applicable to few people comparative to the general population.
it’s not working to earn their love it’s working because love is an action. or better a collection of small consistent/repeated actions. love is something you’re supposed to do not just have laying around
"Come And Get Your Love"
Alvin was spitting facts. I love a deeper version of this conversation with a queer guest.
I was more or less socialized as a boy but expected to strive for feminine goals such as marriage.
Socialization plays a huge role in realizing our genders; however, our hormonal makeup is individualistic, which also plays a part.
I always thought Alvin was like Zion Williamson I’m pretty surprised happy to see the big three together in person on the pod
Happy y'all had Adella on the show. I enjoy her content.
Loving the new recording space! And the rebranding is hella cool too!
This is one of those episodes I really got sad when it finished. I thought everyone was on point this episode. Alvin especially but he’s usually the lowkey MVP
So Alvin is headed to the combine right…. RIGHT
Everyone settles down with who's around when they're ready.
14:07 😂😂 he had to catch himself before his next girl caught this quote lol
“Jesus Christ, that’s ALVIN BOURNE!!!” 💀💀💀
32:49 I think if a person leans hard on personality, a woman could jump from a 3 to a 7 in my book
Absoulutley loved this episode.
ALVIN WAS SPITTINGGGGG
Another aspect of older women that I find interesting is some older women don't date or mess around with younger men. When you try to talk to an older women it's like they're offended you're trying to get her number because they see you as a toddler. They want men her age or older, but those men want women her age or younger. Typical a lot younger. Some way too young.
So I wonder if part of the problem is some older women wont let us younger men love them. Even if it's just a fling. Stella gotta open up and let Tay Diggs get her groove back.
I think they just don’t want you, no offense
@@danteturnbull1475😂😂well damn
@@danteturnbull1475 I'm not even talking about me. Even attractive guys have a hard time getting older women. I'm talking about a general trend, not specific to me.
Love the new set. Haven't caught up in a bit.
Also it is great to see Adella
I need to go back and watch her content.
Fantastic pod y'all.
Spending +$20k on therapy alone and doing the emotional work would’ve been much more helpful.
I do think there are women who are ‘uglyhot,’ in that they don’t fit conventional beauty standards and just have such blazing personalities and confidence that it does take them from a (societal) 2 to a 10, but I agree that societal pressures are such that most women do work (makeup, fashion, etc) so that their baseline public appearance is a 4 or 6. I do love Adella’s comment of there being people where you’re like, ‘no, you are hot, I must be wrong’ 😂 thanks for a great podcast, glad to see all these great convos coming out of y’all’s UK trip 💜
Alvin is a Non Binary Icon Confirmed
45:54 YES, say it louder for the folks in the back, Alvin, amen!
I think working to earn love is appropriate and actually quite mature. It’s not insecure at all. It’s you saying I must continually evolve, adjust and grow to maintain that love
Great episode. I would love to see unpoetic justice on the pod someday.
Just searched her on yt, is she on twitter ig etc?
bro in the orange/red is huge, looks like an NFL player but yet he is the intellectual one, gud damn.
Jesus, how much does Alvin make lmao
Is Alvin like 6’5???? Come here zaddy
28:37 I don't know if it is just conditioning. But I do find some certain appeal to more. Mature men. I mean, I find Stellan Skarsgard hotter than his sons. And those guys are definitely hot guys.
You contradicted yourself in your above comment. Then, you’re proving the entire point right here. 😂
Anybody else notice that it's mostly said with when men? I think it is an conditioning, most hollywood thing.
I don't really know about that. I mean, MILF entered modern lexicon before DILF. So in terms of sexuallity, I don't know if we are more conditioned to find older men more attractive than older women.
@@Kcoldraz"Silver fox" was a thing well before Milf, though they have different connotations tbf. Silver Fox has an element of respectability to it; an older man who's refined, distinguished, has aged gracefully, etc. Milf is just outright openly sexualizing an older woman. We were always going to get a term like Milf first since that's our cultural default
@@Fooacta Fair point on the Silver fox. But I don't know if I agree with the silver fox connotation. Rather than respectability, I think that it more has a deviousness / cunning element to it. So maybe it is apt to compare it to MILF.
Is Alvin wearing....kneepads here? Can anyone identify what's going on
Alvin is built like a fridge, God damn
Alvin👀😌😏
The race mixing talk is annoying bc like Adela majority of the weddings I’ve been to are black!! We need to get off the internet lol! Touch grass