Fun fact about the marshmallow test; everything you said is true, but also, almost all of the kids who waited came from middle to upper class families, while almost all of the ones who didn’t wait were from a lower class background. The poorer children had been told in the past that they will get the toy for christmas, get the food they want, whatever, and because of money issues, they simply didn’t. After the initial test, it was ran again, where both marshmallows were shown, and a much larger number of kids waited for the second.
I had that assumption as well. Growing up in a poor family, always being told "Maybe later" or "Next time" when asking for something, meant I wasn't going to get it. Needless to say, I don't wait for that 2nd marshmallow much.
I love this. I’m now 25 in medschool, I’m graduating in two years and honestly I’ve been contemplating if it’s worth it, if it’s worth my 20’s and possibly my 30’s because those loans aren’t going to pay themselves. Of course, I went into this field because I fell in love with seeing people happy, crying of joy that their doctors helped them at the clinic I used to work at and I want to also provide a greater community as a Spanish speaker and reach those who need help communicating their health, I want to give them their life back and enjoy the little things in life, but whose going to help me… sorry, I think I’m just burnt out
As a fellow medical student this resonates with me on a personal level. I think we’re at the age in which we realize there’s more to life than medicine and it’s not any better when the process itself requires so much work and discipline and sacrifices. I was also at the brink of questioning myself and my decision too. But over the years I realized that if I keep pushing my own happiness back to another day, I will never be happy. What is the end goal you know? Is it residency? Is it when you’re an attending but then what about the loans? I don’t think we’ll get there and maybe that’s why people say to enjoy the process (which is easier said than done). Still regardless of what you choose to do, I hope you’re taking care of yourself and prioritize your needs. Even a little bit everyday counts. You’re doing a lot for your community and I’m proud of you, my fellow comrade! :))
I’m a medical student as well! I’ve also had so many doubts. I’m constantly overwhelmed and my anxiety has never been worse, but I’m trying to trust the past version of me who chose this path for a reason and give myself “marshmallows” where I can. :) it helps to take it one day at a time and try to find one happy thing to enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes of TV or some fresh air, in each day. Best of luck to you ❤
One of my favorite quotes is " No one is ever on their deathbed wishing they put another day into the office" I don't remember who said it but it's stuck with me and helped me realize that it's more important to spend time with family and friends than to be missing those moments in hopes of someday being "rich and successful" tbh those things are relative anyways, personally I think to be rich is to be joyful in where you're at in life, and success is the good relationships we cherish :)
I mean the problem is that it's not just being rich and successful it's just surviving in general and hoping to provide for others. That should be the reason why anyone strives for promotions. I could totally take care of myself if I work one job and never buy anything but I want to buy things for people I love.
I so agree. Success is completely COMPLETELY subjective. Why do we pretend there is an objective success. Some of the richest people are the most miserable, least fulfilled, and frequently use or exploit others.
that test was so fucked anyway - is hen the test was done again kids who took the first marshmallow were ones who came from homes where parents often broke promises or experienced food scarcity, thus why they would take the first marshmallow - they, in their experience, didn’t believe the other one would come the way the richer kids trusted it would come. says more about income, as usual, than anything else
Also that literally completely ruins the correlation of “they grew up to be more successful”. Tf? Of course because they come from a richer family with more resources and opportunities ? How does the marshmallow test even compare when there is such a bigger obvious reason behind their success differences
Honestly you make a good point about the marshmallows being promised. In the test they were, but sometimes in life we just make assumptions that hard work brings ambiguous rewards. I think waiting for the second marshmallow is character building when you know you what you want and that you can actually get it.
okay this ^^^ on a slightly different note subconsciously the relationships that can be built bc of that character building is i think one of the fundamental reasons to work towards greater prospects
Excellent excellent post. Never wait for that 2nd marshmallow. It is not promised. It may never come and you'll have missed out on life's joys and milestones for nothing. I'm glad I took my European travels when I did. A friend who was supposed to accompany me, preoccupied with setting up her practice, caring for her young children, said, "Maybe we can put off our trips...until I retire." No, I wasn't going to wait. I went without her. Glad I did. In the last couple of years, I've come down with health problems that prevent me from traveling. My traveling days are over. Had I waited for her, I wouldn't have been able to go at all.
This. As a person who plans to pursue musical theatre, I’ve decided to not load my high school schedule with painful APs and STEM classes and rather, take things I’m interested in, and take the advanced courses in those areas. While I am approaching it much differently than my peers, as I am a junior and the majority of my school is Asian, I believe that it is better for me to be happier and have more free time than to force myself to take classes I don’t care about for the *chance* to get into some great college. Hurting your social life and high school experience is not worth the hope that you will get into a *famous* school that will *supposedly* bring you happiness!
Very smart. I did the opposite because while living with my dad being busy was my life saver, but when I moved out I struggled just to pass. So you know you can be happy and less stressed and actually do well. Good luck friend
@@benjalucian1515 I was always told I would amount to nothing so I spent most of my life trying to prove them wrong. But I realised I would never be good enough for them and circumstances made it so that I was fighting just to live in the end. I told everyone I wanted to be a music teacher even though I actually want to be a musician because I didn't think I could make it. Now I know that if I don't at least try I will have a very unsatisfying life
this made me cry. coming from a middle class background i have always waited for the second Marshmallow. i think many Indians will relate with me. first we are told to get good grades in school and then our life will sort out. then college and now job. i kept waiting and waiting for the second marshmallow and guess what i regret waiting for it. now i try to enjoy my life as much as possible even though it's difficult with a job.
I used to be REALLY obsessed with the second marshmallow to the point where not only did it center the big things, but the small things as well. Besides what you mentioned about high school, college, families etc, it got to a point where i was purposely delaying important day to day things. “I’ll keep studying now and have dinner later so after all the hours of hard work and starving, that dinner will taste better” or “i’ll finish this whole assignment and shower way later at 1am when i’m done” or “i’ll sleep more than 5 hours when i finish these because ONLY THEN will i deserve it”. I had a serious belief that ‘good things come to those who wait’ = ‘waiting longer than necessary is even better’. My only regret is that i tried to tell me friends to do the same thing (of course they didn’t listen bc i sounded crazy and i’m glad for that). I still have trouble regulating such things but now i’m old enough to know what i’m doing and kinda force myself to eat ✨NOW✨, shower ✨NOW✨, sleep ✨NOW✨ and all that. I have to keep telling myself that a marshmallow now is still just as good as a 2 marshmallows later…if that makes sense?
Actually, the original study’s results were proven to be obsolete after a few scientists replicated the study with a much larger sample size and kids from a variety of ethnic and economic backgrounds
I used to wait for the second marshmallow too. I started college two years early and was on the grind constantly. I had a 4.0 GPA, was in honors, and only joined academic clubs. I took a gap year during COVID and when I came back I realized killing myself for a 4.0 and a great resume just wasn’t worth it anymore. I still work hard but I finally have time to have fun too!
The key is balance. Work hard but take care of yourself. I wish I had taken a different path with school but at the same time, burnout is real. Delayed isn't the same as never. What she describes there's never a marshmallow. If she did this but took a year or 2 to do some fun stuff between, that's balanced. I'm here in my 40s to tell you a year or two doesn't make that much difference in the grand scheme.
Honestly idk if this is a thing that happens to everyone but personally as a/I grow older I become more and more depressed, so the things I could be gaining by waiting and being patient will no longer bring me joy if I were to get them then, if I want something now, I'll be happy to get it now, but if it's delayed and I have to wait for it for years, no matter how much better, I'm not as happy anymore. Skipping out on fun in high school for fun in college, whatever few occasions I went to in highschool were way more fun than anything in my university right now, even when thinking about future, it doesn't sound fun or exciting and something I'm willing to make sacrifices for, it sounds miserable, and the way I am and have been, everything is growing less and less enjoyable, so enjoy it while you do enjoy it, because chances are, even if you get twice the price in a few years, it's not going to make you as happy as that one little gift today (this is my personal experience though)
They actually reviewed these studies and found it had almost everything to do with the children's food security and nothing to do with their ability to "delay gratification"
I worked my ass off in the last year of highschool and had very little to show for it due to having to move out. I did take some days off from studying. People called me lazy for that, and for falling asleep in class but those couple of hours kept me alive. Literally. Now I'm struggling to get a job but I know my limits and I sure as hell ain't letting anyone tell me my best effort isn't enough. Second marshmallow sounds great but for some it isn't obtainable so if you can get the first one, well done my man
I'm learning to become happy with the first marshmallow for some aspects of my life. Had to learn it the hard way but am starting to be happy with my choice
I’m elementary school my teacher did this experiment with the class and I was I’m the only one who ate the first marshmallow and EVERYONE WAS SO MEAN TO ME because the teacher basically said people who ate the first marshmallow were going to fail in life.
It's more of a balance for me. Take time to enjoy the present and planning for the future doesn't have to be zero sum. Enjoying the journey going towards your goals, but going at 80% and not burning out will be a lot more sustainable for a fulfilling life. It's served me decent although I find myself fomoing a lot. (Aka am I not where I'm supposed to be? Do I need to work harder? Feeling guilty taking time to just watch some TV) but you just gotta take a deep breath and step back to see the bigger picture.
I agree. I did that and then my chronic illness got worse. Nothing was promised anymore and I refuse to use up my "good days" to just catch up with work instead of enjoying the very rare moments of minimal/lesser pain
I find it so funny that we essentially sacrifice our youth and childhood for our future, and the next future and further into the future, until retirement. But when we hit retirement, we are old, can’t do as much anymore, and half of our friends are gone. Life isn’t about the destination, but rather the journey.
yes!! i used to be so hard on myself but i realized that happiness isn't going to come someday. you be happy right now, today. you're only young once. you enjoy life. you don't know if you die tomorrow. save money, but don't be a miser. treat yourself. work hard, but mind your mental and physical health, relax and be happy. focus on your present instead of worrying about the future 🙌
I think sometimes you should go for 1 marshmallow and sometimes you should wait for 2. Taking the extreme route and always waiting isn’t always good. Or not waiting at all too.
All these influencers, youtubers,celebs etc that are super succesful never waited for the second marshmallow.... most of them dropped out of school, quit jobs, put their happiness or passion over what's right in the eyes of society and they are all winning.
This was exactly what I always got to hear untill I vomoleted my high school- " you can work for your life...fun can wait..and trust me..you'll be able to enjoy everything once your are successful "..what I didn't see was...I couldn't ever get something...by sacrificing some other thing all the time...it might give me hope, make excited..but that excitement soon left me..and I just felt insecure the moment I learnt about the people around me..who were llreally really good at many other things except studying...What I learnt was..there came nthg good by JUST being a straight A student when I couldn't keep myself happier..
They ended up looking at the background of the children who participated and a lot of the children who ate the first marshmallow had problems at home and had trust issues with adults so they didn’t believe they would receive a second marshmallow.
My mum did this to both my sister and I when we were around the same age (I’m 8 years older) and she finds it funny how you can tell the difference between us in both. My sister waited calmly, refusing to look at the marshmallow until my mother had come back. I on the other hand, poked the marshmallow, licked it, did whatever I could to touch it but not eat it. We’ve got video evidence of both (my mum had it uploaded on facebook). Both of us got the second marshmallow in the end btw.
For the last three years of my life I've been waiting, waiting for what, that I've never really knew and I've waited those three years where I could have learned, discovered, enjoyed and now I'm finally starting to live and not just survive and it helps me a looot even with my mental health issues (which are really hard to deal with bc I have 0 help and French school system is fckng hard)
“You can be young only once”. Once u older, alot of restrictions to enjoy the fun so enjoy it while u can. u never know when u will die and just spent ur whole time focusing too much on ur goal. Nothing wrong with enjoying the moment now.
yes the mastery of delayed gratification leads to being “more successful,” but if you define success by happiness, it would have to include enjoying the present moment to some extent.
When researchers started comparing the children who took the marshmallow to to ones who didn't, they found that children who experienced food insecurity or adults not following through on promises were far more likely to take the first marshmallow than children who grew up in security
For a 14 year old girl, I prefer to live day by day and always treat myself.I feel that everyday, anything can happen to u at anytime and u can just pass on. I still work hard and satisfy myself. This is what I think life is about :) I don’t delayed gratification would get me anyway. People constantly crave for more and all that waiting is honestly so boring and tiring.
Sometimes it’s worth waiting for the 2nd marshmallow, other times it’s simply not and it affects your current happiness. I’d pretty much say I agree with her. Prepare for the future but not the expense of your current happiness. Ei. I went to college and became broke with OSAP loans to have a nursing diploma and it was absolutely worth it. But then I ate the 2nd marshmallow by buying a better car and better clothes but still saved up money so I could one day have savings, 0 dept and go back to uni. Now I’ve done that and paid off the debt and trying to figure out the next steps so I’m saving money but also splurging at times and traveling because we only have one life to live. When you’re 80 and looking back on life and wishing you’d travel, it’s too late. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to make it that far. Probably doesn’t, but also does, help that you see the worst case scenarios as an RN and realize you can be sick for 2 weeks and go to the hospital to find out you have Stage 4 lunch cancer. 3 weeks later the patient passes and it puts into perspective how precious the present is. But then seeing your 90 yr old grandmother patient with no family and no finances, also shows you that you need to prepare for the future
All I can say about this is "Grow the ability to tell apart seed from fruit" Some things need to be taken in the present (fruit), but some things should be kept aside (planted/invested) for the future (seeds)
That experiment was also about the coping skills of those kids who waited. How did they wait? What did they do or think about during that extra time? What habits did they have? What did they do to keep themselves occupied while waiting? Those behaviors were what lead them to have balanced and fulfilling lives, and yes, some of that has to do with delayed gratification but it was very much about the way they got to that milestone. They didn't "sacrifice their happiness", they simply kept busy with things they liked. I don't think she and alot of these comments understand the full experiment.
we learned about this in language arts to help set our goals for the year. it was a very interesting experience and now its interesting thinking of it from the delayed gratification perspective (what you went through, which is also my parents' mindset) as well as the perspective of not waiting to do what you love.
I think that, to a certain extent, delayed gratification can be helpful and good, especially if the "second marshmallow" is promised or not that far in the future. Waiting for a long-term second marshmallow that you're not sure even exists is self-sabotage. The most important thing in life is to enjoy yourself and feel good, so if waiting for the second marshmallow is that, then wait. If not, then eat it now!
PLEASE read, if you haven’t, “The Station” by Robert Hastings. It’s one of my favorite short readings of all time. I had it read at my wedding AND my daughter’s baptism; it talks about this exactly. “There is no station” ☺️
It depends on the value and situation. You rush and you've negated the value of patience. You wait too long and you've missed out on opportunities afforded to you. Sometimes you have to set things up for yourself and prepare; don't wait for it to be prepared for you. Some things requires a bit of luck: lucky to have the right parents who loves you, lucky to be in a survivable environment. It takes skill to redirect those experiences and it takes courage and strength to even attempt it.
I think if you wanna apply this to real life then you have to set what the second marshmallow is. Say missing out on high school fun to get into a good college, the good college was the marshmallow and you enjoying the perks that came from that college, say a high paying job, is you tasting that second marshmallow. Delaying your gratification for everything means nothing is gratifying cause theres always another step waiting for you, and you can’t ever be happy where you are and dedicate time to things that matter.
It’d be great if we knew we had time to “wait” but we don’t know that so you have to make the most of every day and balance the grind with the indulgence.
Fun fact about the marshmallow test; everything you said is true, but also, almost all of the kids who waited came from middle to upper class families, while almost all of the ones who didn’t wait were from a lower class background. The poorer children had been told in the past that they will get the toy for christmas, get the food they want, whatever, and because of money issues, they simply didn’t. After the initial test, it was ran again, where both marshmallows were shown, and a much larger number of kids waited for the second.
I had that assumption as well. Growing up in a poor family, always being told "Maybe later" or "Next time" when asking for something, meant I wasn't going to get it. Needless to say, I don't wait for that 2nd marshmallow much.
It wasn't just the poor kids - it was the kids who had learned that adults wouldn't keep their promises.
😢
Yup
@@druidriley3163 true, once I moved out I finally let myself enjoy things
I love this. I’m now 25 in medschool, I’m graduating in two years and honestly I’ve been contemplating if it’s worth it, if it’s worth my 20’s and possibly my 30’s because those loans aren’t going to pay themselves. Of course, I went into this field because I fell in love with seeing people happy, crying of joy that their doctors helped them at the clinic I used to work at and I want to also provide a greater community as a Spanish speaker and reach those who need help communicating their health, I want to give them their life back and enjoy the little things in life, but whose going to help me… sorry, I think I’m just burnt out
As a fellow medical student this resonates with me on a personal level. I think we’re at the age in which we realize there’s more to life than medicine and it’s not any better when the process itself requires so much work and discipline and sacrifices. I was also at the brink of questioning myself and my decision too. But over the years I realized that if I keep pushing my own happiness back to another day, I will never be happy. What is the end goal you know? Is it residency? Is it when you’re an attending but then what about the loans? I don’t think we’ll get there and maybe that’s why people say to enjoy the process (which is easier said than done). Still regardless of what you choose to do, I hope you’re taking care of yourself and prioritize your needs. Even a little bit everyday counts. You’re doing a lot for your community and I’m proud of you, my fellow comrade! :))
I’m a medical student as well! I’ve also had so many doubts. I’m constantly overwhelmed and my anxiety has never been worse, but I’m trying to trust the past version of me who chose this path for a reason and give myself “marshmallows” where I can. :) it helps to take it one day at a time and try to find one happy thing to enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes of TV or some fresh air, in each day. Best of luck to you ❤
Sending you hugs! Just hang in there. All will be alright in time. ❤️
Si se puede ❤
❤
One of my favorite quotes is " No one is ever on their deathbed wishing they put another day into the office" I don't remember who said it but it's stuck with me and helped me realize that it's more important to spend time with family and friends than to be missing those moments in hopes of someday being "rich and successful" tbh those things are relative anyways, personally I think to be rich is to be joyful in where you're at in life, and success is the good relationships we cherish :)
I mean the problem is that it's not just being rich and successful it's just surviving in general and hoping to provide for others. That should be the reason why anyone strives for promotions. I could totally take care of myself if I work one job and never buy anything but I want to buy things for people I love.
Awn
I so agree. Success is completely COMPLETELY subjective. Why do we pretend there is an objective success. Some of the richest people are the most miserable, least fulfilled, and frequently use or exploit others.
this!!
PERIODDDD
that test was so fucked anyway - is hen the test was done again kids who took the first marshmallow were ones who came from homes where parents often broke promises or experienced food scarcity, thus why they would take the first marshmallow - they, in their experience, didn’t believe the other one would come the way the richer kids trusted it would come. says more about income, as usual, than anything else
Oh I didn't know that this kinda makes sense
and of course since they came from middle class families they would have a higher chance of being successful because they have more opportunities
Also that literally completely ruins the correlation of “they grew up to be more successful”. Tf? Of course because they come from a richer family with more resources and opportunities ? How does the marshmallow test even compare when there is such a bigger obvious reason behind their success differences
I think it also says a lot about the value of growing up in an environment where people are true to their word.
@@IshratJahan-dh3ev ikr, it's seriously just that silly
Honestly you make a good point about the marshmallows being promised. In the test they were, but sometimes in life we just make assumptions that hard work brings ambiguous rewards. I think waiting for the second marshmallow is character building when you know you what you want and that you can actually get it.
okay this ^^^ on a slightly different note subconsciously the relationships that can be built bc of that character building is i think one of the fundamental reasons to work towards greater prospects
Excellent excellent post. Never wait for that 2nd marshmallow. It is not promised. It may never come and you'll have missed out on life's joys and milestones for nothing. I'm glad I took my European travels when I did. A friend who was supposed to accompany me, preoccupied with setting up her practice, caring for her young children, said, "Maybe we can put off our trips...until I retire." No, I wasn't going to wait. I went without her. Glad I did. In the last couple of years, I've come down with health problems that prevent me from traveling. My traveling days are over. Had I waited for her, I wouldn't have been able to go at all.
This. As a person who plans to pursue musical theatre, I’ve decided to not load my high school schedule with painful APs and STEM classes and rather, take things I’m interested in, and take the advanced courses in those areas. While I am approaching it much differently than my peers, as I am a junior and the majority of my school is Asian, I believe that it is better for me to be happier and have more free time than to force myself to take classes I don’t care about for the *chance* to get into some great college. Hurting your social life and high school experience is not worth the hope that you will get into a *famous* school that will *supposedly* bring you happiness!
Very smart. I did the opposite because while living with my dad being busy was my life saver, but when I moved out I struggled just to pass. So you know you can be happy and less stressed and actually do well. Good luck friend
My mom was OK with me chasing my dreams...as long as I had a backup plan to fall back on to be able to make a living if the dream didn't come true.
@@benjalucian1515 I was always told I would amount to nothing so I spent most of my life trying to prove them wrong. But I realised I would never be good enough for them and circumstances made it so that I was fighting just to live in the end. I told everyone I wanted to be a music teacher even though I actually want to be a musician because I didn't think I could make it. Now I know that if I don't at least try I will have a very unsatisfying life
this made me cry. coming from a middle class background i have always waited for the second Marshmallow. i think many Indians will relate with me. first we are told to get good grades in school and then our life will sort out. then college and now job. i kept waiting and waiting for the second marshmallow and guess what i regret waiting for it. now i try to enjoy my life as much as possible even though it's difficult with a job.
I think you just flipped a switch in my brain. Thanks
I used to be REALLY obsessed with the second marshmallow to the point where not only did it center the big things, but the small things as well. Besides what you mentioned about high school, college, families etc, it got to a point where i was purposely delaying important day to day things. “I’ll keep studying now and have dinner later so after all the hours of hard work and starving, that dinner will taste better” or “i’ll finish this whole assignment and shower way later at 1am when i’m done” or “i’ll sleep more than 5 hours when i finish these because ONLY THEN will i deserve it”. I had a serious belief that ‘good things come to those who wait’ = ‘waiting longer than necessary is even better’. My only regret is that i tried to tell me friends to do the same thing (of course they didn’t listen bc i sounded crazy and i’m glad for that).
I still have trouble regulating such things but now i’m old enough to know what i’m doing and kinda force myself to eat ✨NOW✨, shower ✨NOW✨, sleep ✨NOW✨ and all that. I have to keep telling myself that a marshmallow now is still just as good as a 2 marshmallows later…if that makes sense?
It is better to have something good today than something perfect tomorrow, as tomorrow might never come.
Balance is the key. 😊
Actually, the original study’s results were proven to be obsolete after a few scientists replicated the study with a much larger sample size and kids from a variety of ethnic and economic backgrounds
You have to ask who is defining success and what is the standard of it? I’ll take the first marshmallow and live my life. No one is promised tomorrow.
I used to wait for the second marshmallow too. I started college two years early and was on the grind constantly. I had a 4.0 GPA, was in honors, and only joined academic clubs. I took a gap year during COVID and when I came back I realized killing myself for a 4.0 and a great resume just wasn’t worth it anymore. I still work hard but I finally have time to have fun too!
Me, a vegetarian: “I’ll take no marshmallows please”
This is so true! I sometimes forget that what I have now is just as beautiful as what's to come.
Currently in med school! I rlly hope that second marshmallow tastes as good as they promise
The key is balance. Work hard but take care of yourself. I wish I had taken a different path with school but at the same time, burnout is real. Delayed isn't the same as never. What she describes there's never a marshmallow. If she did this but took a year or 2 to do some fun stuff between, that's balanced. I'm here in my 40s to tell you a year or two doesn't make that much difference in the grand scheme.
@@korab.23 Thank you for the comment. It helps!
@justpassingby Working to get into one, hope the best for us!
Honestly idk if this is a thing that happens to everyone but personally as a/I grow older I become more and more depressed, so the things I could be gaining by waiting and being patient will no longer bring me joy if I were to get them then, if I want something now, I'll be happy to get it now, but if it's delayed and I have to wait for it for years, no matter how much better, I'm not as happy anymore. Skipping out on fun in high school for fun in college, whatever few occasions I went to in highschool were way more fun than anything in my university right now, even when thinking about future, it doesn't sound fun or exciting and something I'm willing to make sacrifices for, it sounds miserable, and the way I am and have been, everything is growing less and less enjoyable, so enjoy it while you do enjoy it, because chances are, even if you get twice the price in a few years, it's not going to make you as happy as that one little gift today (this is my personal experience though)
They actually reviewed these studies and found it had almost everything to do with the children's food security and nothing to do with their ability to "delay gratification"
girl it’s been forever! we missed you! the outfit is slaying as always luv
From your outfit what's the white ones name (top ) i want if anyone knows that please tell
I worked my ass off in the last year of highschool and had very little to show for it due to having to move out. I did take some days off from studying. People called me lazy for that, and for falling asleep in class but those couple of hours kept me alive. Literally. Now I'm struggling to get a job but I know my limits and I sure as hell ain't letting anyone tell me my best effort isn't enough. Second marshmallow sounds great but for some it isn't obtainable so if you can get the first one, well done my man
super great message just wanted to note that the findings after were linked to SES and not delayed gratification.
I'm learning to become happy with the first marshmallow for some aspects of my life. Had to learn it the hard way but am starting to be happy with my choice
Eat some skittles between the first and second marshmallow:)
🥴 I would’ve been the kid to take the first marshmallow 😂😂
ALWAYS wait for the second marshmallow
With great patience comes a great reward
I’m elementary school my teacher did this experiment with the class and I was I’m the only one who ate the first marshmallow and EVERYONE WAS SO MEAN TO ME because the teacher basically said people who ate the first marshmallow were going to fail in life.
It’s worth waiting for that second marshmallow
I just know one thing that's worth doing at this moment and that's being subscribed to your channel ❤
Same, I want to have fun in my life, building career ofc is important but not more than my happiness 💕
It's more of a balance for me. Take time to enjoy the present and planning for the future doesn't have to be zero sum. Enjoying the journey going towards your goals, but going at 80% and not burning out will be a lot more sustainable for a fulfilling life. It's served me decent although I find myself fomoing a lot. (Aka am I not where I'm supposed to be? Do I need to work harder? Feeling guilty taking time to just watch some TV) but you just gotta take a deep breath and step back to see the bigger picture.
Slay the Ryujin shoulder dance
that one hit, i didn't even realize that's what I've been doing
The funny thing is that I can't even have marshmallows.
I agree. I did that and then my chronic illness got worse. Nothing was promised anymore and I refuse to use up my "good days" to just catch up with work instead of enjoying the very rare moments of minimal/lesser pain
She just made an inspirational video about a marshmallow 😀
Not surprised an Aries sun and moon isn't into delayed gratification! ;)
Anything good takes sacrifice !! I gave mine to girl that sat behind me and married her thirteen years later !!!
I find it so funny that we essentially sacrifice our youth and childhood for our future, and the next future and further into the future, until retirement. But when we hit retirement, we are old, can’t do as much anymore, and half of our friends are gone. Life isn’t about the destination, but rather the journey.
yes!! i used to be so hard on myself but i realized that happiness isn't going to come someday. you be happy right now, today. you're only young once. you enjoy life. you don't know if you die tomorrow. save money, but don't be a miser. treat yourself. work hard, but mind your mental and physical health, relax and be happy. focus on your present instead of worrying about the future 🙌
I just want three marshmallows!😝 (Not speaking as a psychology major student)
It is. Because the idea is to have the ability to wait and CHOOSE not to, vs not having the ability
i agree to all your blogs ❤ and its so nice to listen to all you have 2 share with your fun dancing in d background 😆
yes i do agree with getting that second marshmallow often times, but sometimes just getting that one marshmallow to fulfill my craving is good too :)
My ADHD makes me too impulsive to not gobble up the first marshmallow
But this is why social media is so addicting it's because it gives us a sense of instant gratification
I JUST LEARNED ABOUT THIS IN MY ECONOMICS CLASS ❤
The biggest regret you’ll ever have is not what you did, but what you didn’t do.
This girl can dance!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉
You’re so good at making slow fashion feel glamorous & exciting ❤️ thank you!
It's always good to save but also it's good to have breaks as well and just have fun
I think sometimes you should go for 1 marshmallow and sometimes you should wait for 2. Taking the extreme route and always waiting isn’t always good. Or not waiting at all too.
LMAO THIS REMINDS OF THE PSAT PASSAGE ABOUT MOTIVATION
I am everything you said in the video. Slowly learning to enjoy the present now.
Those dance moves!!! 10/10!!! 💖
Automatically subscribed. I understand completely! I'm still quite young but I will hold this advice in my heart ♥
I've never felt so.. seen. Thank you
All these influencers, youtubers,celebs etc that are super succesful never waited for the second marshmallow.... most of them dropped out of school, quit jobs, put their happiness or passion over what's right in the eyes of society and they are all winning.
Yes, but you’ve got t have that second one at one point, you cannot wait forever to have it
This was exactly what I always got to hear untill I vomoleted my high school- " you can work for your life...fun can wait..and trust me..you'll be able to enjoy everything once your are successful "..what I didn't see was...I couldn't ever get something...by sacrificing some other thing all the time...it might give me hope, make excited..but that excitement soon left me..and I just felt insecure the moment I learnt about the people around me..who were llreally really good at many other things except studying...What I learnt was..there came nthg good by JUST being a straight A student when I couldn't keep myself happier..
my dad when i’m too tired to wait for the second marshmallow: you absolute failure
That moonwalk was smooth
If only life could be simplified to these simple types of choices.
They ended up looking at the background of the children who participated and a lot of the children who ate the first marshmallow had problems at home and had trust issues with adults so they didn’t believe they would receive a second marshmallow.
My mum did this to both my sister and I when we were around the same age (I’m 8 years older) and she finds it funny how you can tell the difference between us in both. My sister waited calmly, refusing to look at the marshmallow until my mother had come back. I on the other hand, poked the marshmallow, licked it, did whatever I could to touch it but not eat it. We’ve got video evidence of both (my mum had it uploaded on facebook). Both of us got the second marshmallow in the end btw.
Ayeee dang did you just c-walk? So smooth haha
For the last three years of my life I've been waiting, waiting for what, that I've never really knew and I've waited those three years where I could have learned, discovered, enjoyed and now I'm finally starting to live and not just survive and it helps me a looot even with my mental health issues (which are really hard to deal with bc I have 0 help and French school system is fckng hard)
“You can be young only once”. Once u older, alot of restrictions to enjoy the fun so enjoy it while u can. u never know when u will die and just spent ur whole time focusing too much on ur goal. Nothing wrong with enjoying the moment now.
Me: I don’t want a marshmallow, it’ll make my stomach hurt
You are absolutely right!
yes the mastery of delayed gratification leads to being “more successful,” but if you define success by happiness, it would have to include enjoying the present moment to some extent.
some kids aren't greedy and they just don't need/want the second marshmallow because one is enough
When researchers started comparing the children who took the marshmallow to to ones who didn't, they found that children who experienced food insecurity or adults not following through on promises were far more likely to take the first marshmallow than children who grew up in security
For a 14 year old girl, I prefer to live day by day and always treat myself.I feel that everyday, anything can happen to u at anytime and u can just pass on. I still work hard and satisfy myself. This is what I think life is about :) I don’t delayed gratification would get me anyway. People constantly crave for more and all that waiting is honestly so boring and tiring.
Sometimes it’s worth waiting for the 2nd marshmallow, other times it’s simply not and it affects your current happiness. I’d pretty much say I agree with her. Prepare for the future but not the expense of your current happiness. Ei. I went to college and became broke with OSAP loans to have a nursing diploma and it was absolutely worth it. But then I ate the 2nd marshmallow by buying a better car and better clothes but still saved up money so I could one day have savings, 0 dept and go back to uni. Now I’ve done that and paid off the debt and trying to figure out the next steps so I’m saving money but also splurging at times and traveling because we only have one life to live. When you’re 80 and looking back on life and wishing you’d travel, it’s too late. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to make it that far. Probably doesn’t, but also does, help that you see the worst case scenarios as an RN and realize you can be sick for 2 weeks and go to the hospital to find out you have Stage 4 lunch cancer. 3 weeks later the patient passes and it puts into perspective how precious the present is. But then seeing your 90 yr old grandmother patient with no family and no finances, also shows you that you need to prepare for the future
I don’t think I’m gonna wait enough for that second marshmallow tho 😻😻😻
All I can say about this is "Grow the ability to tell apart seed from fruit"
Some things need to be taken in the present (fruit), but some things should be kept aside (planted/invested) for the future (seeds)
Imagine that one kid who didn't want a marshmallow 💀
Thank you for asking that question
My school showed me the video of this test and told us that this is the way we should behave and view life lol
I REALLY needed this today ❤
Omg love how u explained that!!!❤️
You’re eating your second marshmallow right now. So over time you have worked for a bowl full of marshmallows
That experiment was also about the coping skills of those kids who waited. How did they wait? What did they do or think about during that extra time? What habits did they have? What did they do to keep themselves occupied while waiting?
Those behaviors were what lead them to have balanced and fulfilling lives, and yes, some of that has to do with delayed gratification but it was very much about the way they got to that milestone. They didn't "sacrifice their happiness", they simply kept busy with things they liked. I don't think she and alot of these comments understand the full experiment.
we learned about this in language arts to help set our goals for the year. it was a very interesting experience and now its interesting thinking of it from the delayed gratification perspective (what you went through, which is also my parents' mindset) as well as the perspective of not waiting to do what you love.
I think kid me would of eaten the 1st marshmallow, but adult me would of waited for second marshmallow.
ok but she got the moves!
I think that, to a certain extent, delayed gratification can be helpful and good, especially if the "second marshmallow" is promised or not that far in the future. Waiting for a long-term second marshmallow that you're not sure even exists is self-sabotage. The most important thing in life is to enjoy yourself and feel good, so if waiting for the second marshmallow is that, then wait. If not, then eat it now!
Your second marshmallow was getting into a good college. After that the marshmallows were building up
Oh i truly needed this today.
PLEASE read, if you haven’t, “The Station” by Robert Hastings. It’s one of my favorite short readings of all time. I had it read at my wedding AND my daughter’s baptism; it talks about this exactly. “There is no station” ☺️
Hey kaitiii! Ilysm ❤️ but could you possibly post a modest fashion video soon? Thnx so much💖
I struggle between the balance of being present vs. planning for the future.
Gimme half a marshmallow now and I'll take the rest later
I just realized ive been waiting for that "second marshmallow" without even thinking about it. hm
It depends on the value and situation. You rush and you've negated the value of patience. You wait too long and you've missed out on opportunities afforded to you. Sometimes you have to set things up for yourself and prepare; don't wait for it to be prepared for you. Some things requires a bit of luck: lucky to have the right parents who loves you, lucky to be in a survivable environment. It takes skill to redirect those experiences and it takes courage and strength to even attempt it.
I think if you wanna apply this to real life then you have to set what the second marshmallow is. Say missing out on high school fun to get into a good college, the good college was the marshmallow and you enjoying the perks that came from that college, say a high paying job, is you tasting that second marshmallow. Delaying your gratification for everything means nothing is gratifying cause theres always another step waiting for you, and you can’t ever be happy where you are and dedicate time to things that matter.
i’m still waiting for that second marshmallow
I needed this thank you.
By the time you're done, you'll be too old and weak to enjoy those delayed gratifications
It’d be great if we knew we had time to “wait” but we don’t know that so you have to make the most of every day and balance the grind with the indulgence.