Before Marrying Someone, ASK THEM THESE QUESTIONS - Deepika Bhardwaj
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- čas přidán 2. 05. 2022
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Deepika Bhardwaj is a men's rights activist. Indian journalist and now also a documentary filmmaker. It was an absolute pleasure to be speaking to someone with so much depth and clarity about what one stands for.
Deepika talks about finding the right partner for yourself. She said, “There is no right formula for it.” She suggests it is important to have clarity on what you want from marriage for both men and women. I feel it is important to date people when you are young as it teaches you a lot about what the other person wants.
#marriage #1315
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But whatever you mentioned mam still it doesn't works, I have Intercaste marriage.. Bfr he agreed to everything thn he changed started dominating, his sister has taken charge of his life completely, every single details are shared with her, quarrel, fights was on rise.. Presently I came back to my hometown he is there but threat r given to come back, than suddenly he talks good n so on.. Marriage only works on truth not by Camouflaging it
Ranveer dress properly........
@@poonamnaik3524 yy
♾️✨
When you become more intellectual ,forget marriage, u r so done with people n world
avg 14 year old
@dangy ho 🍻
😁 This is true.
True
Me in a nutshell.
I asked her all these questions (that concerned to my life and job, family): She said Yes, BIG YES (I was not compelling her to say Yes, but I was looking for someone, who is okay with all my concerns)... before the marriage! But just after marriage she did completely opposite to what she said. When I reminded her words, she told me, she acted as she thought I was testing her. Life is not a game, but she assumed it is. Unfortunately, it damaged my life too.
Women overthinks and trys to play games
I hope SHE is not reading ur comment bro
Otherwise aur damage ho jayegi life 😅
Bro in india you should avoid getting married.
(PS: I see you have edited the comment, after my reply and added that you were not expecting her to say 'yes' lol. This makes me doubt the authencity of your comment. Even then, I don't see the need for you to get sad if you are okay with someone not saying yes to your expectations. Even men make promises to us they will stop smoking or drinking or gambling money and they still do and we don't feel our world's crashing down.) Its sad you wanted a woman that said 'yes' to all these questions. I am going to get heavy blacklash over here but here's the truth.. women want partners that equally compromise.. and yes what she did was wrong but if you had told her right from the beginning where you are willing to compromise for her and where you expect her to maybe things could have turned better. It's utter stupidity to expect anyone to say yes to each and every expectation of yours, be it man or woman.
@@shilpar6506 mam with due respect I agree with all your points....
But if you won't mind I would like to ask a personal query of mine..
Going along with whatever one partner is willing is not okay at all but do you really think living with family affects or downgrades a women's career in personal?
I am just asking it out of curiosity to know women's psychology behind this.
I have a sister in law (Bhabhi) and bhaiya as well as bhabhi they live with us and my mother helps in her daily activities of family and bhabhi is still doing her job.
My family ( parents, bhaiya as well as bhabhi too) are very close to my heart.
Bhabhi maa treats me as her own son and things I feel I can't share with anyone, I share it with her.
So,my question is...... Is it a rare case that women happily lives with family of husband (as in case of my sister in law) or it is a normal case?
If women don't want to live with family of husband then what could be the possible reasons?
Thank you for your precious time.
Highly anticipating an answer.
After listening to this podcast i have decided not to get married ... ❤️🤣
True❤️...beyond this pitty playcard love is the most cool
Good. 👍
Go for it..🤣🤣
Well I have also decided the same
It is the new normal bro , you are not alone !!
I told him, "I want to study after marriage". He said that he will support my education!! And after marriage, I was treated worst than a bonded labour... Now with two kids, I am left to fend for myself!! Best thing in life is to be independent - emotionally and financially...
Yes , I also have seen such cases.
Can't trust ppl this is y marriage is joke nowadays the ppl r not worth it
But career takes time what about baby 🤔 it will take 25 age to complete idk what to do
Toh tumhe kisne kaha tha study krte huye shadi krne ko
Pehle namoone ladko ke peeche bhagti hain ladkiya fir baad mein roti hain pehle hi kisi shareef ladke se love krlo
Great one. But i disagree when you said men are less emotional. Being emotional is something which is subjective.
Great Men are supposed to be more stoic( meaning ur emotions don't affect ur actions). But no one is perfect at it and everyone is trying it making it seem like Men are not emotional.
My mam is very emotional than me
You have no experience of dating any woman .......
Brother, here What I feel emotional means. Most Men are only emotional when something bad happens in personal or love life. Or else they are focused on their goals. Where as most Women use emotional lens for every possible decision.
Thinking emotionally and being emotional are TWO different things.
8:36 I would rather choose to make friends with opposite gender than dating because during dating people tend to show their best self and while in a friendship good is good and bad is bad.
Dhoodh ka doodh, pani ka pani.
I think its other way round
You can't just be friends for a long time with another opposite.. there is so much nuance and complexity involved . The idea of friendship kindly beware of it ..
Ya doodh bi milta hai and Pani bi
Just to let everyone know it is not that this is that straightforward. If you ask someone yes, no questions. And expect them to answer honestly. I find in marriage or before people lie a lot. Everyone should focus on their goals and if anyone helps them to be in that journey then you should marry. It works both ways!
Many man gonna die single in that case lol coz woman never make a 1st move if u know..!
@@Jay_Kamle better to die single than suffer a lifetime of misery and penury.
For arranged marriage their should be a lie detector test or handcuff each other ask the difficult questions
There is no such thing as "choosing the right partner". Obviously there are red flags, but you can never predict how someone will behave in certain circumstances
if you stay with anyone long enough you will find red flag for whatever reason you want it to be.
Well said
It happens mostly in live in relations now a days
human beings are very predictable you can always judge people from your past experiences, you just need basic understanding how people work
Ikr you only know them by spending time together
"Men are blind by 'all women are good' that they don't want to see a red flag"
This line was so correct by her, often I have seen my friends behaving like a complete idiots and go behind a girl while keeping this whole stupid narrative in their minds. They gotta have some questions and put in forward what they REALLY want.
Marriage is an outdated concept of society. Marriage has no place in today's materialistic, consumer driven, commercial society. Marriage is just a commercialized institution of society. Its all about money and social convenience
You talking about me my friend!! Ha ha. Yes. You're spot on.
Biharis are vikharis
Bollywood
Some just go blind with what they see.... Some choose people for temporary only few actually look out for a lifepartner.... This is irrespective of gender..... We find, explore, learn, understand and if you and ur partner are ready to make things work out for each other , it's great, if not its okay, moving on is better..... Coz life has many other colors....💕
One cannot change men / women when they are above 25 so you better have to observe things through their actions. Because saying something is very easy but one cannot do something they haven't done in their lifetime because behaviour comes from habits , upbringing.
One should know how to observe what is good in person or bad in person
very true. brain become resistant to change after 25. for majority.
@@Akpandey69 What should we observe exactly?
@@YashSharma-qo1sy search fresh and fit clips watch first video it explains everything
@@entropymusicoriginalsReally-?
I have decided a long time ago not to get married but after watching this podcast I am more convinced to not get married. 😂😂
Yes me too. This modern time is against good men.
Me too
Me2 😂 😂
@@anjalisuresh9574 bhai shadi mat kar benefit me rahega tips from a married man and regretting the decision
Oh my god bery bery fonny
I just went through divorce and she spoke brilliantly about the mistakes about mistakes I made as a man. Hats off
If you don't mind can you share what were those precisely, it could help many.
Ignore her comments. Self reflect and see what are the gaps in yourself, work on yourself, improvise. Thank her later for the comments. Dont tell her about her mistakes. Thats your revenge. Karma will take care of her.
@@catadventures.7201what Karma bro? You don't know their situation at all. Chill. If she talked about his mistakes, maybe he made terrible ones & deserved it. You don't know who's the right person at all. And who's wrong & is arrogant enough to never admit. Mostly men. Stop wishing bad for unknown people.
@@nishthagupta1357 maybe you should first stop putting "maybe blames" on the man. You guys, marriages Don't always workout. And its okay. Life goes on. I hope for both the man and woman to find happiness and move on.
@@nishthagupta1357you mentioned "maybe..we don't know.. mostly men" all in the same comment. 😂 How do you know it's mostly men? What was your reference? Your personal experience? 😂
Main points discussed were-
Does she want to live with your parents? ( Yes/No)
Does she want you to live with her parents?
( Yes/No)
Will you be okay if she leaves her job for few years for baby?( Length of time, Yes/No)
Will you be okay if you have to leave your job for few years for baby?( Length of time, Yes/No)
Will she move with you, if you have to go elsewhere for job?
Will you move with her, if she has to go elsewhere for job?
Will you financially help her family members?
Will she financially help your family members?
(Brother/sister education, parents health expenses)
Thanks
Faith in human kind restored, thank you sir
the last two is a very hard decision - financially helping family members
@@AshTheDukeYES should be decision for both.
When people date, couples meet, they put in their best "self" forward; they can be in this state till marriage and even till the honeymoo phase; after that the real person with his good and bad emerges and that causes all the issues. Main issue is not knowing the person in totality before marriage. Besides people change with time, environment & situations. One needs to know the other well enough to deal with such changes. Marriage is not like buying furniture... that one can change after a couple of years.
Good piece of advice sir👍👍
Do u think Indian parents will allow to check each other like this
Well said.deep🙏
Acclimatization to the changing surrounding, environment is the key for sure but sometimes husband or wife dont want to get themselves adaptive to the changing situations they expect to remain the same it is like driving maruti 800 in the generation of Tesla. The point is if you see closely you will find that men suffer most than women in case of emotionally, financially, physically etc as compared to women. In this capitalized society people are becoming more financially dependent whether it be men or women. Marriage sustains on the trust, balance and understanding. Basically no one can tale how to sustain a marriage because marriage doesn't come with a contract of rules and regulations, if it goes well then it will go good for long time and if it doesn't then one has to face the situation whatever it may be. Man / women can change the breaking marriage scenario if they think closely and logically on it, if one don't want to be with her/him even after the close observation then it's her/his choice to do whatever they think is good for him/her.
Hey You stole this line from Major Sushant singh right.He said the exact same shit.😄😄
I was a Victim of False 498a and DV act. Fortunately all the cases (5) filed by her was dismissed by Karnataka High Court in July 2023 and got divorced in August 2023.
What I learnt?
Take care of your parents . Don’t be desperate to get married. Being single has more perks.
Better to stay single than tolerate emotional damage.
Either adopt a child or go abroad and get a child though surrogacy (Since India has banned that too).
I’m not against marriage, if a genuine girl comes, i will definitely get married. But most of the marriages now have become a business.
Get married outside India.
Good luck
Good luck
Surogaccy also needs women and commercial surrogacy is banned in India which I think is right.dont. Go by single living idea otherwise our country will be like uk .
@@kavishwarmokal124lol
Once married, make sure family stays away, from your marriage.
Women have more levels of emotions but they have issues in communication.
Men treat women like their guy friends...
Parents are the main reason for most of the divorce cases, second is career.
I'll make sure HER family
Stays away from our relationship. Not mine. I'll involve mine....
@@akashmishramgtow2361 don't just DON'T either keep both or leave both .. there's no between Bro .. this idea itself is a Red flag
@@thesublimesoul7231 absolutely true this happened with me. I never involved my family but since day 1 he has been involving his mum , his cousin , his aunt n uncle n now we r heading for a divorce.
@@akashmishramgtow2361 MGTOW men only get man to marry. No women of her same mind would marry a MGtow mf😂
@@Heartcutelittlethings12._ Mom & Dad are important part of lif of both person. How can someone Ignore them??
She is absolutely right.
I am 36 and unmarried.
People blame me indirectly for this.
But I figure out the big red flags of all the marriage offer I have received.
I am only one to take care of my parents and they live in a very small place. So, I left my job from Mumbai and moved back once my sister got married. No girl would like to shift here after marriage.
She got her own parents too. If only your sister was not required by societal expectations to leave both of your parents, you could have been free to go and live anywhere. And if you want to live with your parents but some woman you meet and date doesn't want that, she should not be blamed too. But why do people blame you btw?
@M bhai/behen jo bhi tum ho. Just assume the same happens to your son/daughter you’ll get your answer.
@@user-bw8yn3zr1s if she doesn't want that then look for a different fish. There is a large ocean and there are different kinds of fish.
You did really good by not marrying
Yes right thing to do.
First thing to realise is that all humans are looking for 'happiness' for themselves first. Whoever you meet, it's good to look at it like an abstract transaction and what is being traded. 'Unconditional love' and 'pyaar' are the the most toxic ideas created by humans.
yes, one smart comment!
All problems = One Solution...DO NOT GET MARRY AT ALL...That's it....sidhi baat...no bakwaas.
Running from a problem instead of facing it is not solution. It's a coward mentality
It is better to learn from someone else's mistake than your own. Sometimes the rectification for the mistake can involve our whole lifetime until our death. So, I agree with the initial commentator and would summarize "Be very careful before you sign the marriage document". Problem will get far more expensive to solve when you also have a child with the partner (1st mistake = marrying the wrong woman 2nd mistake = having a child with the wrong partner 3rd mistake = child and wife will work together to destroy you). If this happens, you will be financially (current assets + future earnings) and emotionally exhausted.
3:14
"The idea is all women are good, so they do not even want to see the red flags".
story of my life 🙂
All women good 😂😂
😂ambe heard mil gyi kya.
@@antrikshachatterjee368 u not good ? 😅
I respect you a lot Ranveer...
BUT...
Please wear some Pants,
Let the guest speak more...
If u already have answers, make a Solo Podcast...
Finally someone called this out!
Very true man! And he also generalizes everything based on his experience and talks less about the reality without being prejudiced.
i agree with the second part but what is the pant part ? god ! grow up
Pants?
He'd wear what he wants
Pants? Why bro I mean let him be what he is
We still leave in a society where dating is not totally accepted. For arranged marriages, we get to decide in just one meet. And just to have a good impression, people tend to say yes for everything. Like RishiS UK mentioned problems starts later on. Its not about men or women, its the way our society is.
True
Come to Germany, people are very open and at the same time respectful here which I didn't see back there in India :)
@@thatguy4010 only priviledged people can go to germany.
Yah I talked to a man first time just for ten minutes and they wants me to married with him in next 3 days. But problem is I didn't feel anything from him, not positive or negative vibes. Nothing. I connect with the family even I met first time but not him. My family forcing me to marry him. He is a good person. But I don't feel anything. Am I a stupid , should I marry him, every thing is good in his family and him...
@@user-pc1pd7ub3q tf u just met him..nd they wanted u to marry him in just 3 days?..gurl Don't do that..u just only met the guy.. take a time to know him..
Before asking questions to the other person, we should also ask the same questions to ourselves. What are the areas which we are ok to adjust? What is it that we bring to the relationship? How flexible we are to ever changing careers, passions, and lifestyles etc..?
Once we are aware of what we want and how we want it, we can discuss it with the other person.
Based on experience, during the first few meetings, we are so overwhelmed with the other person, we either give in to their expectations and suffer later or we just reject it all together with the fear of failure to meet expectations…
Discussion and respecting those terms will happen when both are on same ground.
First of all we need laws that protect men, then and then only those discussion be fruitful or else it’s just a trap for men in this gynocentric soxiety
@@NiteshKumar-mb1ni agreed
On point mam
What ever you said is 100% true. But sad thing what ever opposite person says they only don't keep their word. Especially in men case or I can say in my life.
@@reshmaraj3203 even gals dont keep their words
Johnny Depp's case is the best example for what will happen if you go for a person only for their looks rather than their mindset. "Don't trust a woman's words trust her actions". A woman can move mountains if she is truly in love with you. woman's words are connected to her mood Once her mood changes so does her words. Sometimes They'll deny what they said. They'll put the blame on their period. Communication is never the key for a perfect relationship, both genders can lie without hesitation. Women think that it's okay to put blame on their mood for acting crazy sometimes.Find a woman who is mature, find a woman takes accountability for what she says or said, find a woman who accepts her mistake instead of arguing she's always right. Stop doing this social media shit "Miss always right", "women are never wrong".
💯💯💯💯 all women are same psychology.
Exactly
He left his long time girlfriend( the mother of his children also) for this young women amber
@@exolovebambibambi1763 wow!! this is news to me.
But can you really trust a woman's actions
You need to be little open minded. Just ask question. Don't give answer in your question. Don't look for answer you want to listen. You are narrowing the view of the guest. I believe they have many more perspectives to share. And thanks for letting the guest speak more.
Bro he does this in his every podcast 😅 He talks more than the guest 🤦♂️
He is an interviewer and not a podcaster
@@peekaygaikwad4117 Bhai tu ja idhar se , tere se nahi hoga
relationships r fluid, continuously evolving...this is not a school admission tht you ask yes/no questions...rather focus on getting to know the person over time, and this also means working on your own self awareness levels, give time before committing to relationships or marriage.
TRUE
I think people have made it more complicated even if discussed you never know what situations will arise...only when love and understanding exist all such things will be easy to deal with
But these type of questions are important to continue the relationship . Something are not compromisable . These type of things should be cleared soon in relationship otherwise relations can't be evolved
Yeah if we had 500 years to live then yes we could do that , getting to know the person OVERTIME
This is so true what me n my guy were ten years ago is not who we are now!! People grow and thus relationships evolve...
Finally someone is doing an effort to bring up these kind of topics to everyone. Great work. Keep it up👍
For guys don't forget to ask her about past because it can give you an idea about her personality and loyalty as well.
You can ask questions like -
How many affairs did you have in past?
Have you ever involved in sexual relationship?
Why did you left those guys and not selected them for marrying?
Are you marrying me for money?
Will you left me for someone else if you get someone better after marrying?
Will you cheat me and ask me for compensation despite of knowing that it was your(her) fault to end the relationship and marriage?
Do u really anyone with bad intentions will answer these questions honestly??
I have seen multiple women getting stuck in marriages with men who lied and faked promises. 'We will live separately, will help and support u in household maintenance, will treat with respect' all these are just lies men casually say. So only marry if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend already. Otherwise don't get into arranged marriage
This is very insightful. I hope this will help people a lot! Thanks, Ranveer and team.
Life is so unpredictable so you cannot ask all kinds of questions before marriage, only thing need to check is their family and values, how they are brought up, talk to friends
It makes so so much sense that before marriage get your conditions right like what Deepika said. So so practical and sensible
3:14 "The idea is all women are good". Deepika's this word clearly makes her a legend. I was also delusional in past😅
Guys just don't get married, you will regret forever
Don't believe in romantic movies🤠
Thank you Ranveer and your team for bringing up a very unique yet super important issue of how men should be emotionally aware about what they expect from their partner, especially after marriage. As a single guy, I feel that such deep dive conversation with experts would definitely provide a holistic view about how a guy can make himself emotionally aware about his aspirations and needs in life with regard to relationships. Thank you again.
Thanks Very Informative For Tennagers And Youngster's
I really want her to walk the talk.
1. A women checklist of 100 boxes to see/expect in men is considered having standards but if a men expect his wife to cook he is considered sexist, narrow minded.
2. How can you meet all your questions in one person even when you ask them before marriage.
He/she will say yes to some questions and no to some and even then some choices, likings will change with time.
I like the way she has been so precise with what kind of conversations couples need to have before getting married. Really enjoyed the show.
These clips are so good♥️ thank you ranveer
There is Formula & it starts with Understanding & Staying Calm !
This was one of the best things I heard about relationships. Irrespective of a man or a woman's perspective
Men aren't less emotional. Men have greater self control because of the training since childhood. Of course it can sometimes become too much in an unhealthy way.
but women tend to pretend even more about their emotions and desires
That's why they suffer from heart attack
@@user-mv9tg4fe1f data says otherwise.
@@amishrawat9753 Even if such data exists, it pretentious.
I am 20 yrs older than you but I agree with all conversation ….. hats off …. GOD Bless ❤❤❤
What she said was just COMMON SENSE!
Most people lack it.
I have passed long away from my teenage, you are next level bro, this podcast applies to not just before marriage, but also after. kudos to you!
Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness & getting married at a young age don't guarantee happiness at all....
Hey Ranveer...thanks bruv. Your work and the kind of things you're bringing to us...its social service, brother. God will bless u in Infinite ways.
I know an instance where a guy asked very specific question about living with parents. She said yes in their first meeting. When the wedding date got closer. She changed her words, her argument was " his parents are not educated", "I didn't mean right after marriage" and etc. 2 years after marriage still parents are living separate in their old middle class house. So the point "women knows what they want" is right but they don't want to face the difficulties or challenges and they lack integrity just like men as well.
Men or women, integrity and living up to your words is crucial for relationship.
Still in our society saying
All Women are good human,they will do no any mistake..
I heard many times in my town.
But in metro cities many says that only few womens are good
asking such questions won't help .. since females are emotional decision makers .. they will change their decisions whenever they feel like. So, as long as the female has respect for their partners .. they will stay around .. So, its best for males to maintain their respect by not tolerating bad behaviour and following their goals and ambitions
Ok your are right they should follow their goals and ambitions and their partners can't tolerate and leave them because they can't see themselves in your goals.
@@sreevaishnavikommuri4253then be the better person and earn more than him
Really good point, however I believe we also need to deeply learn about the woman's past. It is extremely important, especially for hard working, well cultured gentlemen who wish to build a happy life with a good lady. In a hell lot of cases, really good men get stuck with absolute 3rd class W**res who have been screwed left right and center by random F boys/ bad boys during their youth and as soon as they approach 30s they want a 'WELL SETTLED, INNOCENT GENTLEMAN' to suck up and ruin his life with their used and abused bodies and mind🤢🤢🤮🤮Typical 'EMPOWERED MODERN WOMAN' in a nutshell
This I did in my marriage. And always advise my siblings and others to follow this. Be clear with each other about each other expectations before getting into marriage.
Superb podcast sir.... I learnt a lot...
Dating multiple people when u r teenager , means u r killing the tendency of staying loyal to one partner from childhood itself . Also , Means u r dating people not to be with them for love but to know how can a gender behave in future . So u r from day 1 having something in mind that this person is just a tissue paper or a timepaas . Even in friendship all what they r saying can b learnt , one need not date and play with someone's emotions.
Agree with you brother but nowadays mostly girls only don't want serious relationships. That's where the term nibba nibbi 😂 came in. At this stage when they have not understood life, how will they understand love? For them love is just physical intimacy.
@@jayeshchakravarty5379 parents are to be blamed here that when a child becomes teenage parents are supposed to teach them things more important than just bookish knowledge and make them humans than just ATM machines ... I don't know what has happened to people, if we say child is a naive but are the parents also naive....
True 👍
No dating is the worst idea of all
Get to know ur self first
And know what u want and u can look for someone who matches with it
Dating and living in before marriage is the most stupid idea
I agree dating is a waste of time and money. Rather do hook ups
Bhai aapke to persnal law jindabad aap tension mat lo
Bhai tumhare Islam me to kulle langde ko bhi 2-3 aaraam se mil jaati hai. Tum mast raho. Hamare Hinduo me ladkiyo ke nakhre hai ab. Jitna freedom hai girls ko utna hi headache bhi.
When is the full session getting uploaded. Need more such talks
Never ever neglect red flags.
RANVEER..very good..plz make extended episode of this podcast...lot of emotional well being is at stake right now , may it be of man or woman..this episode is like education pre-marriage , which everyone needs
there is a difference between being less emotional and showing less of your emotions
No one told me this that DATE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNGER, I’m really agree with this we get to know what we want and what we do not want from relationship
And I haven’t thought of dating as well, maybe because in my mind it was fed that it is not good, so I stayed away from dating/relationship
It is so sad that I got to know at this point 😔
I dated. And I suffered. Welp atleast Ik now that I need to improve on my communication. And actions. But I did realized that dating isn't for me I really need a long term relationship. Also I usually try to be myself when it comes to dating, maybe that's what pushes people back? Idk
Most of the times everything was made clear before marriage, but after marriage anyone can make a U- turn, there is no estoppel.
Life always surprise to both. Whatever clarity you make with partner, it changes time to time and how life goes.
You cant say men are not emotional.
Great 👍.... It's never a men and women it's only about right or wrong which could be done by anyone just fight back
It's about the evolution of the culture. More people are adapting the western culture , the hook up culture and they're thinking it's cool. They're thinking having multiple partners is cool, they're thinking cheating is cool. So many people end up destroying their relationship and regret later.
Exactly my thoughts
Spot on! And, it's not just "Western culture" it's the movies and "Woke Virus" of people which made it so. As a relationship is a trend for people nowadays, they get influenced by Social media personalities & celebs, then try to follow their principles of life. Which makes it difficult for them. However, most people in India think, "in the west, it is normal to have hookups" tbh, it is to a very large extent. But, in many parts where Orthodox Christians live, it's a "NO" from them on these things too.
Let's take sanyas together bro !
Date for (1 - 5+ years) and check if the person is right for you, with time we change, now at the end of that dating period we start doubting the "compatibility" and other shit, break up, find another one, date, this time we get married, after marriage when it takes real work to make it work, one or both chicken out, divorce and cycle goes on. How stupid waste of time. Hold hands and never leave, accept the person with their fault. Live a sweet and sour life, nothing is linear. It all takes commitment and lowering the expectations.
@@ROMI909 but in this materialistic and intolerant world who is going to tolerate ? all are just running behind money and comfort. they divorce people to stay in peace for future but regret it later.
Being spiritual will really important to your mind & other person as well as their mind
Spiritual =brahmacharya start of the problem
Good points you mentioned it is important for both the person to discuss and then decide you want to be together
I really like your podcast . The guest are always somebody very incredible and have great knowledge of particular aspect . Related problems and their solutions. . You do fantastic work . Your podcast are really amazing
What’s said in podcast is absolutely correct but while sitting on the negotiation marriage table, one should not be putting too many straight questions about life after marriage, rather, the partners should judge the mind set of the other partner as in whether the partner is open minded, flexible, dynamic, is respectful etc. because with time people and their choices evolve. What was agreed before marriage might not be adhered to after marriage due to changes in circumstances and it can then become a point of clash.
I would have just one advise for people getting into a marriage… Just have an open mind for your partner, respect them always, show some love and a lot of care❤️ Genuine Love and Care can only lead to everlasting happy marriages not formulas and rules!
From a Happily Married Person 😊
Communication is a very very very important thing in any relationship.. So we need to talk about things instead of assuming that she or he will do as you want... Might not be all but most of the problems might be solved just like that...
People like Deepika are like a ray of hope for many suffering men out there and I am glad she's stood by and supported so many of them, Kudos to her spirit, and I also appreciate all her open point of views and helping men have clear directives of do's and dont's one needs to keep in mind before committing to any relationships to avoid long term issues later on, Deepika , Lots of respect to you.
Never lie .. make that as a condition...then only trust will grow within a relationship
Give importance to open talk without hesitation...
Have patience and be a good listener..both of them should be like that
It takes time to know one's character
I'm very grateful for my partner. For we have already discussed these questions in our first year of our relationship itself.
But still be careful my brother. She might change her colours in ur bad times... I never trust women...after everything they did with me.
Plz be safe my brother 🙏
Bhai trust a snake 🐍 not a materialistic lady 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
This mam has always been taking a great initiative for us middle class innocent victims of *Violence from WOMENS*
This is eye opening points, each and every man and women should talk and think this way.
Great clarity..
The problem is not that a man wants to support his parents in oldage & stuff. The problem is that a woman's in-laws treat her like outsiders most of the time & still expects every physical labour and house chores from her and not their son. Women know this situation very well & so they mostly want not to stay with her in-laws
That's one aspect and not general assumption
If she is a housewife , why not ?
@@kabirsingh9028 means you want a maid disguised as housewife?
@@Fashionblogger247 and you want a free atm disguised as a man ?
@@kabirsingh9028 I didn’t put across my opinion. On what basis you are asking me that question? Have the guts to answer the raised questions when you put your OPINION on the table. Be answerable rather than just being opinionated. Question for a question doesn’t work , sir
All relationships cannot be stereotyped. And everything cannot be planned on paper when it comes to human relationships. People evolve, and relationships also evolve. The baseline is to be self aware. When a person is aware of their own patterns and behavior, it's easier to understand others. But when they're not aware of themselves, it becomes difficult to understand others. At the end of the day, a marriage works only because 2 people refuse to give up on each other and they have the conviction to make things work. Choosing the right person depends on our own energy at any given point.
Completely agree 👍
All these words are fine, but the legal system makes it impossible for a man to breathe if the woman wishes to. I dread the day a man stands nothing to lose and will take drastic measures.
@@sreyanshuchaterjee3962 You are operating from a place of fear. One should strive to operate from place of love and compassion.
Also, start making personal relationship with God. "ONLY GOD" actually loves us, no matter what. And the good thing is, he has everything in control. Trust amd surrender. Let go.
@@vasudevsarvam6912 it's not fear. It's about devoid of emotions and operate like scorched earth.
Not all men grow up with the luxury of ease but a legacy of suffering just to keep things going. To be treated as a wallet and a means of social mobility, only to be destroyed over the whim and fancy of a woman, does permanent character change in a person. At such a step a man stops caring anymore. A society where men don't care about consequences is what you get in present day Afghanistan.
this is a serious talk
totally agree with her🙂
Thanks for bringing up deepika mam' here, only unbiased lady and have so much of insights of the actual problem in society. I believe she should hold a place in politics and should get power to rectify the system and take country to the right direction.
She's very right.
One needs to lay it all out *before* marrying .
If there are major differences in expectations, it's better to step back.
But despite all such efforts, problems can occur after marriage.
Chahe jitna bhi pehle dialogue kar lo, there is always the lottery factor.
Make all efforts to resolve differences. misunderstandings, but if major issues remain , its better to end things, cordially if possible.
Its very important to be be fully aware when the relationship has no happy future rather than continue & live in misery.
And, wait till the relationship has settled down before having a child.
marriage can be the best or the worst thing a person can do in their lifetime
These i learnt over the years.. though as a woman and being a high achiever i keep rather overtly demanding things bt that helps me avoid wasting time on ppl with whom there is no future so to say.. in the end we have so much time only..
I'm thankful I'm not married and don't plan to be married via a contract for life. I'm open to a live in relationship which suits both parties and this way we are truly truthful in the day-to-day relationship.
Yeah. Great idea till you're young enough and your needs have not changed/evolved. We validate our present needs but future will be one day a present too.
@@ROMI909 The future is a paradox. Only the present moment is real. With meditation; if you persevere, life will take care of future life 😉😊
@@Veej77 idk if I want a kid but the whole biological clock thing is crazy
Live-in relationships = marriage
Many matrimonial laws such as DV, Crpc 125 are applicable to live-in relationships. Plus, a girl can also charge you with rape and a false promise to marry. LOL
Are you self aware?
@aditya-ml6km ok, I'll pass on the live-in relationship. 😎
I think...many many times..ppl don't exactly know what they want... like they aren't lying... just clueless about what they want.. who they are..
I have found we ourselves don't often want to live with the consequences of the life that we have chosen!
Not against women but the ultimate reality is only women, children and pets are loved unconditionally men will have many conditions to get love😢
Most most and most valuable and important video for this generation.🙌🙌
How many questions ask your partner before marriage. Nothing will change your fate. We all are chosen to suffer unique and extraordinary fate. So Don't worry.
Great points! Create a safe environment as well-sometimes parents give untold pressure to get married and girls chose to say yes despite feeling like saying no. This is not a man's responsibility BUT unfortunately both people do not benefit from this interference by parents
Honestly upfront conversations don't help always. I had those conversations before marriage many times to get the assurance from the other person. The other person lied then outright and after marriage she turned into a very different person, a person that I don't know even. She wanted to get married to leave her job because her family didn't want her to leave job prior to marriage. Her family was the real culprit who just wanted to move out the problem from their life and now I am completely ruined.
Great words... Ranbir 👍🏻👍🏻🙏🏻
In a relationship it’s necessary to prioritise things and let go the ones that isn’t the priority at that moment, instead if we look at it as a sacrifice that’s like sowing a seed of unhappiness. It’s amazing to see young women to be clear about what they want and all, at the same time how to prioritise things and the fact that prioritise do change is something both men and women of today can learn from the women of previous generations.
Relationships are too complicated these days. Whatever you do to make your love happy, it's all end up in sadness and suffocation. Someone please comfort me with something, coz I'm sick of love!
There is a formula. It starts with love, not reason.
These are some very important things to discuss!! Actually!!
all the best for our man i am with u with all respect and love ❤❤ stay strong always💪💪
During dating time, everyone will show their impressive part... your real picture comes only after marriage
Marriage is a big gamble for both men and women. But always check if their actions match their words. And how they treat people around. Never rush into any relationship or marriage. Give it a couple of months.
Marriage is no longer a necessity for both men and women. Stop quoting physical needs as a reason.
If you are hungry, do you order food or buy a restaurant?
Marry only if you know you can deal with all the shades the person you're involved with.
Rather than asking this...love them first and then ask them questions
I am 32 unmarried listening to this podcast right in the corner of my room 😳
Your doing great....just get prostitutes for your sexual needs and adop a child later for your old-age.......is that simple....men's have to grow from the mindset of family ,love...blah blah
Haha
Why are you in the corner? Have you been naughty?
Same haha 😂
First thing and last thing..."There are no rules to establish a good relationship". Rest all is Moh-Maya. One need to keep evaluating n evolving whichever way it leads... Trust me, that's the best thing to happen in the end.
Thank you for posting this one 🙌❤️💯