How to Deal with Rude People Like a Boss
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- čas přidán 20. 05. 2014
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It's finally summer break! And to kick it all off this past weekend I got to go to my sister's college graduation...she walked with straight A's. She's a G.
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It was great just to get some quality time in with the fam and getting to celebrate her ending one chapter and beginning a new one. I'm so proud of her!
Anyway, just wanted to keep you posted on what's been going on in my life, now on to today's topic!
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So I know we've all been there, there is plenty of douchebaggery in the world and most of us have had the unfavorable privilege of encountering it.
But how do you deal with someone who is being completely rude or unfair to you without losing your cool and getting defensive or overbearing?
That's what we're going to tackle in today's HumpDayQ&A edition of PeakYourMind.
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In the episode I put together for you, you'll get 3 quick tips on how to be assertive and deal with douchey people so that they're criticism or comments don't bring you down, watch it below:
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BOOM. There you go. Now you're ready to take on any douchery that comes your way hahaha.
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Oh and comment below and either share your worst rude people story or your best tips on what's helped you handle this situation.
Also, if you have anything you're struggling with, send it my way and I'll be happy to help you out with it!
And if you know someone else who could use this, feel free to share it with them!
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Martin Sosa - Jak na to + styl
I work at a grocery store and I had this woman approaching me with her kid and she went: See, this is what happens if you don´t not finish school. '
I smiled at both and then told the daughter: See , this happens when you study at uni and want to be independent from your parent´s money.
+Anna Waiq Anna you're a badass, I love you already
Great reply👍👍
+Anna Waiq wow what a rude woman !! *hug* as long as you work something honorable and you count on yourself to earn, I salute you! there is no difference between people but only their attitude makes them good or bad, what's the use of going to college if you end up telling your daughter that while disrespecting a hard-working woman like yourself? .... Can't fathom this stupidity.
+Anna Waiq Personally, my response would have been to address the child with, "See, this is what happens when people are ignorant. They make rude assumptions about people around them." Smile at parent, continue working.
A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.
Rudeness is a weak person's imitation of strength...love that quote!
:)
Lan3016 where’s it from
I will borrow this quote.
Love this
I work in a deli. I come into contact with rude, condescending and just simply mean people everyday. My co-workers, especially my boss treats me like a pushover sometimes perhaps unintentionally. I generally am a quieter and more respectful person, so people with higher egos and quicker wits will take advantage of my psychology. So thank you for this video.
That's how I am, and they're so quick to judge. I'm working in retail and going to beauty school, and they're Always saying, " aweee you're so cute because you're so quite" in a tone that kinda sounds like they're making fun of me. because I'm a little quiet at first when I meet people, and not as loud or too confident yet like the others. Idk, but I'm kinda weird where I'm an ambivert vs. them, which are extroverts. :/ hope that makes sense. Apparently I'm a pushover too, but I just don't like starting shit with people >
+Zack Valenta A lot of people think because I'm quiet and polite that I'm a pushover as well. They soon discover though that I don't cave in to rude or manipulative behavior. You can stand your ground without being aggressive or overly confrontational.
+Zack Valenta buy a book on insults.
+Selina Li people say i'm shy. i say i don't talk to people i don't like. i act in front of 4-5,000 people 3 times a day 6 days a week.i'm not shy. start acting.you get arrogant.lol.
Zack Valenta hey man I know this comment is two years old but if it means anything you're not alone. Same boat 🚣 haha
I have found that repeating things that people say in a calm way helps them realize how they are acting.
Hmm interesting that make a lot of sense
Trill Phill wow I never thought of that! Next time I’m at the shopping centre and somebody gives me a condescending comment, I’m going to repeat it back to them to see what happens☺️ of course I’ll only act like this towards truly rude people, as I know most people are just curious about me living as a blind person.
Yep I deal the same way.
It also makes them look stupid and guilty.
One thing that helps me when someone is being a asshole is I just le their comments roll off my back, I use to get into a lot of internet fights but now a days when they try to hurt my feelings I'll just tell them, "That's nice, dear.", or I'll just tell them, "Whatever" because it's an honest to God waste of time to deal with these people. They get old real quick and you just loose interest.
so true, thanks, I'll say that to that idiot insulting me in a comment. They should just stop, shut up and be happy ^^
Banana Cheerio Writing I just got in an internet argument and I was like ' I'm so happy I met you, your are such a nice person, I hope you have a great new year. I'm so glad people like you exist' then I blocked her she was being rude.
I'll just delete your comments from MY post
Nah, but you can go tho
Banana Cheerio Writing it sounds like you're carrying pain if I was you I'd not allow them the power. Rise above it and use your energy on good things only. tc.
This vid was really helpful. I'm in customer service too and today, a lady gave me an expired credit card to pay for services. Didn't notice it was expired until the payment wouldn't go through. Brought it to her attention nicely and she said she always uses it and its fine. I explain that the machine will not accept it though. She searches for another card...which is identical but ...ta da! It's not expired. She doesn't hand it to me but throws it down on the counter at me. I was shocked but tried to conceal my emotions and kept on being polite but inside I was burning and ...hurt. I treat others kindly..especially since I see the same customers all the time..so when something like this occurs it really bothers me. My emotions flare up and I take things personally when I really shouldn't. Like you said in the vid, I want to be more assertive and speak up but I don't want it to come out angry because in that instant I want to make them feel the way they made me feel. I guess it takes time and practice. :-/
poppyshow1996 wow I know exactly how you feel
Me 2
I really think that some people don't know that their actions have consequences
poppyshow1996 Thank you for sharing.. it brings me comfort dealing with my current emotions
It for sure depends on the situation and the extent of someone.s rudeness but I have noticed that the best way to deal with chronically rude people is to ignore them and if the person being rude or mean to you is doing it to get attention then it is best not to give them any satisfaction, just treat them like they do not exist, they will get bored eventually and they will leave you alone.
Homelandsecurity - except when you live next door to them
oh well story time!! In my first day job at a fast food restaurant, when I was like 16 somebody really rude called me stupid and slow and we have this policy that we can not say nothing back.... so basically I almost cry cause I was trying to do my best!
@leimar henriquez it's insane how people treat each other especially in certain industries. I've definitely been in the same position. I remember one time I was greeting this person and just welcoming them and they were like "Just stop talking. Stop." Sometimes people are so ridiculous you just have to laugh
Have you seen The Wolf on Wall Street? Did you see how they talk to each other?
wow " just stop talking"
wow, I would have done that.. and followed up w/ a back hand lul
PeakYourMind what about bullies?
+PeakYourMind this girl bragged about how smart she was I was like omg shut up I don't care she kept bragging I was like SHUT UP IM TRYING TO FREAKING WORK OMG she kept bragging
Lmfaoooooo 😂 who do they think they are??
Your confidence is contagious! I'm a new fan!
Thanks Randy! What up and welcome!!
Came here on a search-chain about rudeness over the Internet.
Leaving with a new subscription hehe
Ayyy! Welcome!
Everything you said is so true! I've had people disrespect me in the past and I always feel myself holding back because I don't want to be that person that takes things personally. But asserting yourself in a positive way does wonders. Thanks for the words!
AAAAAMEN
I've been rude a long time ago, because I wasn't mature back then. It was part of my special needs which couldn't be helped.
Good advice! I had an encounter with a gas station attendant today. I set down some money, counted a few more coins then she told me I owed another dollar. Then she was like "You know what, take the water!" I paid for that water and I know she knows it. I shouted and smiled and told her to have a nice day. People though.
Hahaha I feel you man
Thanks for your video. I'm a sensitive person who got bullied a lot and i just didnt know how to deal with childish people. Saying what i really think, made me feel pretty strong. So thank you!
You're welcome! So glad to hear that!
A rude co-worker once asked me, in front of the boss & several other coworkers, if I was OCD!? I answered, "Are you?" She shut up.
And yes, it is important to tell rude & obnoxious people what behavior you will and will not accept. I preface that by telling them "I say this to you with love, do not say/do that to me again." Your boundaries have then been verbalized clearly out in the open.
There's this rude girl that i decided to not be friends with anymore because she was controlling, rude, and too much drama. The problem is that she always hangs out with my group of friends. How do I ignore her and her dirty looks and to make her leave me alone?
+Jessica Rebelo You completely ignore her. I mean *completely*. She may be there with your friends, but you simply don't acknowledge her in any way, shape, or form. Don't look at her. Don't answer her if she addresses you. Don't make eye contact with her. She is a non-entity.
Having said that, are you sure you want to be friends with a group of friends that does tolerate her nonsense?
I will try...
Jessica Rebelo That's exactly what I'm going through at the moment 😔
that time when ur best friends are Freinds with ur enemy
OMG SAME SHE IS SOO ANNOYINGFFF
I work in my dad's grocery shop and sometimes a rude customer comes by our little, remotely located shop. I greeted this person as I do for everyone else, and he responded with a racist comment. I ignored what he said and asked which game he wanted for his lottery tickets. He said, "No shit. I don't need to tell you twice!" In reality, he never told me anything, and I wanted to give him the right thing. Later on, he wanted a certain number of plays on a ticket, but I told him that the lottery machine had a limit. He became furious and yelled, "What's two times ten, then?" "20" I responded quietly and was quite scared by his intonation. "Well. Then do it, then! Isn't that easy? I thought that Asians were good at math. Even your dad there can do it." He leaned in front of the cash register and barked at me.
I should have defended myself back then or at least ask for help from my dad, who was sleeping on the nearby chair. Instead, I just sucked it up and finished his order because many people were waiting in line, which was rare in a small shop like ours. I felt quite bad for my poor reaction. When I told my parents what happened, my mom blamed me for staining not only the reputation of our family shop, but also the reputation of all Asians for looking weak and helpless.
That is so unfair though. Your parents should have been happy you were so tolerant to such rude behaviour
Yeni Twighlight
Eh... you shouldn't be tolerant of rude behavior. That doesn't sound right.
Besides. When people mistreat you, you don't always respond with kindness because you're rewarding their behavior.
But I sympathize with the OP, I understand your parents feeling the way they do but they need to be more concerned with that costumer and putting him in his place.
yangsong18 this is such an old post....but if you read this, I am so sorry you had to listen to their rudeness. It is not ok to speak to ANYONE like that. I commend you for being so brave and tolerable towards such ignorance. I often try to tell myself in similar situations, "This poor person must be going through a life of hate/frustration/pain to be treating another human being like this."... it might not have seemed like it at the time, but you won, and he most certainly has lost in life....
You should took a Stern position with him also a Stern voice like a man and threw him out of the store or called the cops,because this idiot came at you with a Racist attitude into your store yelling at you,stand up to these kinds of people,because he sensed fear in you and thought you were a punk,have some back up next time or something.But if you let rude people continue this,then everyone will do this to you!
yangsong18 oh darn that's so sad. nice people do exist prob just not in racist America ....no I'm kidding but I do wish u better luck in the future be true to yourself and be good
Thank you for posting this! Thanksgiving was a few days ago and I dealt with the nastiest old lady towards the end of my shift. None of my managers were around and I had to handle her myself. I knew I couldn't defend myself so I just let her walk all over me and ended up crying while cashiering for the last 15 minutes of my shift. Thankfully the customers after her we're kind and supportive, but I'm dreading going back to work. I'm such a sensitive person but this video gave me some great tips on how to handle situations like that in the future. I lacked assertive responses and clammed up when I should have been redirecting the situation. It also reminded me that I can still hold on to having confidence while dealing with people. Thank you. I needed to hear these things you mentioned.
Oh man do I have a story for you.
So my sister and I are at a laundromat. While our clothes are washing we put our baskets in front of two folding tables. One for me one for her. While we are waiting for our clothes this woman comes over passes 6 to 8 dryers and puts her clothes in the dryers right in front of us. I thought to myself what's her deal? But I got over it because it's first come first serve.
Ok so at this point she has at least taken 5 dryers. My clothes were ready to dry so I get them and bring them to the dryer. She has her little kid holding the dryers (3 of them). Once her kid moves I put my clothes in one dryer. As I'm putting them in she tries to tell me she's going to use the dryers soon(trying to get me to move my clothes). I just ignore her because it's first come first serve!
Since I ignored her she tried to pick a fight with my sister. She starts placing some of her daughters clothes on my sisters folding table. And then tried to tell my sister to not touch her clothes because she was folding her sheets. So she was being rude to my sister and I came over and said "Your behavior is very innappropriate. " Lol. I just kept repeating that when she tried to verbally fight my sister. And then she flipped me off!
Can you believe this woman?! And she was acting this way in front of her child!
Actually in all my time as a waitress I haven't had many rude customers that I can remember, but the most recent episode it was with the colleagues. I was completely shocked at how some of them would snap regularly at fellow workers without good reason, and how little they cared about treating the customers well. I like how you pointed out in your video that it's people with big hearts who are affected by rude people. I had already realized that these grumpy colleagues treated others so badly because they were unhappy with their own lives. At that time, however, I would say that I wasn't very centered, and that's why I couldn't cope and I ended up quitting. I preferred non-confrontation rather than making myself vulnerable. I did cry several times because of the way I was treated. It rings true though, that coming from a centered place really is key to dealing with these people. I still find it very hard though when dealing with people who are just completely unfair and wrong. I would rather escape then give them more opportunities to lash out.
When people are rude to ME, I curse at them in Japanese.
😗
StarLpsStudios lololol teach me japanese curse words!
StarLpsStudios All I know so far is how to count to 10 haha
I don't even know numbers I just search on google.
😝
StarLpsStudios
LOL..if you ever get in trouble just deny ever knowing Japanese in the first place. The other person will seem insane...just spat back, "why exactly do you think I would know Japanese?"
ja H XD Good idea!
This video helped so much, I went into monsoon looking for a job and I was polite and smiling. I was talking to a lady who happened to be a manager ( don't know how) I gave her my CV and she was so rude and asked me in such a negative way "what is this" I said my Cv she said "what do you want?" Baring in mind this was my first time ever giving out a CV. She was horrible, she didn't even crack a smile. But all the rest like Topshop, Riverisland were lovely, it just comes to show. The more I think about it the more I wish I said something rude back but I just kept smiling and said thank you.
Thanks dude!!! All your videos are really helpful! I appreciate you making and uploading these videos because it's not like our parents teach us these things. We gotta learn it ourselves but some of us don't find the way to go.
Feels good to watch this video and read this comments and know that everyone experiences rude people. Thanks for that!
I know we shouldn't take things personally at work, but it's pretty hard not to snap at a customer when they cop an attitude with you, only because they know you have your job on the line. I pray that I bump into some of these assholes on the streets, so I can keep them in check.
This is great! i learned to be more assertive and say what I thought a couple of years ago and it is now very difficult for people to bother me with what they say or how I act and I will quickly let them know how I will allow them to treat me and how I will not. I don't disrespect them, and I am not going to allow them to disrespect me. But I am 48 now! It took me so long to learn that and you know it already. Good for you!!!
Wow this video is old, but SO GRATEFUL FOR IT! Your energy & vibes are soo good! Thank you, I needed this video a LOT!
I'm so glad it helped Robin!! You're so welcome! :))
I found This video extremely helpful. I work in retail and yesterday I had to interact with two rude customers and as soon as they left the store I locked myself in the bathroom, started sobbing, and couldn't breathe normally. I'm so sensitive to things like that and I felt so crushed. I'm going to try to keep those things in mind, that it doesn't have to do with me, and stay grounded. Thank you for the advice, good to know other people get as upset as I do:)
Ellie Magee I'm so glad!! Wow, yeah I feel on that, there have been times when I just don't expect people to be rude so I can be sensitive. But I also think it's the sign of a big heart, which is sounds like you've got! Awesome!!! No prob :)
Damn you are right! People can judge you objectivly based on what they actually see but they can not define who you are and never will.
It's up to you. Only you can define who you are no matter what they say.
I hate it when someone is being rude but all I think about and say back at them are rude things , I must start believing in myself .. be confident , strong and not let anyone push me into acting the same way they are. Great video thank you 👍
So much good info! I really try to look at rude comments as a form of someone self-projecting their emotions unintentionally on me. Sometimes if it's online I will wait a bit to reply but I've been working really hard at in person "rude comment" interactions as well.
Great stuff man. Loved the being centered aspect and technique. And speaking your mind in a real way , but not rude loved that. Thanks
Exactly! Thanks man!
I work as a security-guard, and the bestcourse of action is as you say, to be centered. Or what I would call "keeping calm". Realize that you are the person of authorothy. If you work somewhere and someone's rude to you, you belong there; they don't. Own that. I find that keeping calm and collected calms others down. Sometimes it can help to tell people calmly that you don't mind helping them out, but you expect to be treated with respect. Of course, in my profession i do have natural authorithy because of my uniform, and will use that, but in general in my life if I manage to keep calm and speak calmly, the other peson will become less rude. Sometimes, stunning a ruuuuude person with a huge honest smile and great service can also help them realise they were out of line. That way you're teaching them what's good behavior, because obviously they didn't know. ;)
Now that is what I call dealing with people like a boss! Now I know what to do thanks :)
Really helpful! I deal with rude people in a similar way, by asserting myself in that situation, telling them how I feel. If someone says something specific to me or a situation i'm in, then I usually try to find something optimistic to say about it..not in a way that I'm telling them off, but just sorta shrugging it off and finding the humor in it. I feel like in that sense you don't look at it like its a big deal and they reciprocate it as the same.
A man walked to my counter and demanded a certain service. I told him this service is not available today. Then it is wrong on your website! He was really angry and pulled his phone out to show me. But he took a long time searching and in the meantime I sat quietly waiting, our website on my screen on the counter. So, finally he gives up searching on his phone, looks at my screen, he curses. and I said: maybe we can help you anyway. I always try to stay calm and keep myself in control. This is not my normal ‘natural’ way of behaving I can tell you. I really had to learn this type of behaviour. I learned by doing, and found confirmation and recognition in your video, among others. Thank you.
I love your attitude and positivity about everything
+tania maradiaga Good vibes all around
yes indeed
You sir! Are a system overload of awesomeness! So glad to find you!
+Nixy Pixels Hahaha thank you, I'm gonna wear that title with pride! Me too, welcome! :D
Great advice in the video! There’s a consultant in the unit I’ve recently joined (in a hospital), who I’m finding to be rude and I’m trying not to take it personally, especially because she’s not overtly rude it’s more subtle, but enough to get to me still. E.g the other day I saw her struggling to hold lots of cups and coffee while trying to open the door to get into the unit, so I politely offered to help and hold a few things, then ended up having to follow her around until she found a free room (burning my hand on the scolding coffee the whole time), and in the end she didn’t even say thank you for helping, or any sort of acknowledgement. And this morning I walked passed her in the staff car park, smiled and said hello, she saw me and then completely blanked me!? Obviously because this is a new job I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot, but if she keeps doing things like that I don’t really know whether to say/do anything :/
when i was in retail i figured something out, if i was on the sales floor and someone was rude and asked for a manager i would comply to their face, then dissapear and never call for assistance., that way its a better chance they wont come back. also if i knew they were gonna be a problem if i could pull it off i would tell them i have a few customers ahead of them which i didnt and then dissapear, sometimes the trick is to fly under the radar but it depends on the circumstances you cant always pull it off
You're a solid young man. Great advice, from a young soul. Awesome. On point.
Thank you
thank you for making this video I'm a sales clerk and I find that sometimes the customers can be rude and I don't like how passive I am about it so I'm going to try this out
You're welcome. I hear you, best of luck!
You should make a video about being centred and grounded ion yourself. Just think it would be good to hear about that. Your videos are really positive, inspiring and very thoughtful and clear. I like them all.
Kieran DeRoche For sure, I like that idea! Thanks Kieran!!!
Man I wish I knew some of this information last semester. I had a group project that might have gone a lot smoother with this info. Thanks for this advice Martin!
thanx a lot man, really relieved me after experiencing rudeness frm sme1.
That's great :)
OHMAYGHAAAAD! I'm always reminded of how awful my experiences were when I worked at a call center. I know that I had to anticipate rude callers because I was trained to do so but, god! Some people are just plain rude! I received a call once from an American guy who kept on swearing at me because I was just asking him questions that are relevant to figuring out his problem. He just yelled and yelled saying I was fucking stupid and said racist comments like "your country must be full of stupid people because you are so fucking stupid." I mean, what the hell! How was I supposed to solve his problem, let alone figure out his problem when he just goes crazy on me just for asking RELEVANT questions? I just tried to compose myself telling him several times that I just want to have his problem fixed and for us to do that we had to maintain a professional conversation. But this guy just kept going with the really harsh comments even telling me not to tell him what to do. I can probably understand people who swear at their problem because hassles can be really frustrating but this guy just made some inappropriate and personal comments at me and if only hanging up on callers was an option for me I would have done that. But you know what? after the long agonizing minutes of being with him on the phone, him swearing the whole time, I finally got into the bottom of his problem. He said that our website wasn't working and I found out that he doesn't know how to turn on his wifi. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT! I really wanted to yell back at him and say fucking figure it out yourself you fucking idiot! But since it's my job to be nice and polite, I gave him a walk through on how to use wifi on his android phone which is actually not part of my job. What a headache!
I love you for this video! :-)
You are absolutely RIGHT on how to deal with rudeness and I now have renewed inspiration to deal with this subject. Kudos to you and all that you do. :-):-)
Toni Jackson Thanks Toni!!! Dude yesssss thank you :)
I work in a restaurant and I deal with rude customers everyday which is making me depressed and sick ,
However reading all these comments made me feel better , and making me realize that this is normal and happens with everyone . But I'm extremely sensitive and take things personally which makes me depressed.
Ali Haider yeah me too
Thanks Martin. I have noted all your points and will be using them too.
Ally & Greg Wooooo that's awesome!
I find myself trying to ignore the people who upset and/or treat me in a way that isn't right, but I find that over time it gets hard to deal with their behavior and I end up being the bad guy and lashing out what should I do in those situations?
Mackenzie Semmens I am coming late. But still I would like to say something in case it helps. of course their rude behaviors are wrong. I feel sorry for what you experienced. Perhaps your negative emotion is always accumulating inside your heart. So, you will feel much worse. The necessary thing is to release your negative emotion. So, maybe you can think about what to do can makes you feel better. If you are anger or feel really bad, just learn to honestly show and say how you feel. Losing temper is better than accumulating negative emotions. It is understandable to be rude back. Afterward, you can gradually learn non violent communication: point out what they have done, how you feel, what you wanna them to do. I think it is ok if you are lashing out. You may just think about how to comfort your emotion. If you feel good, that is good. Maybe staying away will be most effective. In addition, if you know more why these rude behavior and master you emotion better, you will better know how to deal with those people calmly.
Da Original thanks for reply. I do not really understand what you say because of my limit English. What is your main idea?
I have PDD-NOS, which causes me to have terrible social skills and lack of empathy... When I filled out my application for a pizza and brewery, I listed my disability and chose the kitchen position. I ended up getting the job, but my boss asigned me to service instead. During my training my boss would have me check on customers to see if they were doing well. I went out there and asked how their food was and if they needed anything... and the whole time I was doing this, my boss was literally standing right over my shoulder giving me tips on how I need to be more outgoing like all the other employees, while explaining to the customers I was training. She went as far as to ask one of the tables if I made them feel uncomfortable and how they would rate my performance.
A few weeks later my boss pulled me out of work to explain that I need to act like I don't have a disability, otherwise she was going to let me go. I stood up to her and told her that by Texas law, firing me for having a disability was against Texas Workforce Laws and that I needed to be accomadated.
It's been 2 years and I still work there as of today, but my boss ended up pulling me out of my service position and assigning me to kitchen, which is what I wanted to do to begin with. Lol
Hey man, absolutely great advice and tips. Thank you!
This video is soo helpful...im dealing with such people like everyday...definitely gonna try this out..thanks martin :D
Schenelle Dsouza Awesomeeeee, you're welcome :)
This was very helpful I have a big heart and Im kind to everyone but sometimes I guess people take my kindness as.weakness I was crying in my car today because someone who i thought was nice was so mean and disrespectful to me I didnt even let on to them that i was hurt but your video helped me today. Thanks for sharing.
A 20 year old girl acted childish and rude to me...it was very painful for me cause we grown up together as friends and sisters every time she would say to everyone that I was jealous of her and every time I'm talking to a friend she would just come and take the friend away from me and talks(not indirectly but directly). This is kind of immature for me but this hurt me more cause the friend don't say anything about this act maybe every1 is like this..
3:23 - 'I'm not going to take shit from anybody.'
love it!
This video is perfect because he's simply arguing that we should be kind, but we shouldn't be a pushover and let others run us over. We shout have the strength to stick up for ourselves. SOmething I know us kind people struggle with at times.
The crappiest situation I've been in where I felt like I was forces out of character because I was frustrated, was when there were new co-workers that transfered to the restaurant that I worked at and they weren't being a good "team member". They were just doing anything they wanted and not really helping or making errors for me to fix or me to get blamed and laughing because I was frustrated. I ended up leaving early because I had no patience left and it was a holiday and we were super busy. What I should've done was ignored their errors and had them worry about that while I moved onto the next customer. But that situation also gave me insight on how negative my co-workers feel about me since they were acting that way. Now I know to just go into work, do my job and not worry about everyone else and their ways of working, focus on myself and the customers, and keep the social interactions at a minimal or only work related.
I'm usually a person that stands up for myself, I'm pretty blunt too, not a person people can step on easily.
But when it comes to work, i don't know why i just turn into a small snail haha! Its not like people being sooo rude to me as such, but i do sense some kind of disrespect.
Im a young nurse, lacking in experience maybe thats why I'm having trouble stepping up when it comes to work colleagues who are way older than me and having lower position than me. As i want to treat everyone equality despite our position and age, but i find it so hard when these people seeing me as a young girl, i know what i should be doing but when it comes to it i just seem to let it go, which also a sign of disrespecting myself. I have come to realisation that, this happens to almost everyone. Its an adult world, another stage in my life i need to learn how to cope and live with.
And thankyou for reminding me to be centred and grounded, and someone else opinion of you, you always have to ask yourself. Is this true what are they saying about you? If not, why are you upset? and let it go, because you know who you are. I mean, i had very strong sense of self before so i know exactly what it is and how it is. But to be reminded, i really need to rebalance myself :) Breathe........
I can relate to what it's like dealing with douchey people at a restaurant cause back when I was working at mommy's restaurant as a server... I can say that approx 70% of the last 5 years I spent there resulted in unwanted company.
There was one dude that pissed me of sooooo bad, I was VERY CLOSE to telling him if he didn't stop, he'd find himself on ambulance express to the "trauma unit" of the local hospital. Before he left, he apologized and said he'll never come back to bother me again and thank god he was truthful on his words because I never did see him again and I never hope to!
Those assholes made me apathetic and hostile to the point I would not associate with random people any further than required and would not engage in casual side conversations unless they initiated it.
During the last year, I was only able to have conversations like buddy, buddy with non douchey regular customers.
Customer service is the worst. Especially regarding a restaurant environment, I think it's joke to refer to the customer as the "king" and you have to bow them to them as if they consider you to be on the same level as their ass crack!
I think the only reliable way to put these people in their rightful place is to be blunt about it.
I wish my handling skills didn't result in anger or death threats... =\
When it comes to douchey people, the first things that come to mind are either: 1, "You need to be shot..." or 2, "Bitch, the only reason you're still alive is cause it'd be illegal to kill you!!!!" My female friend "became a fan" of a dickbook page titled that. So if such a page exists, you can sort of guess that there's a decent amount of psychotic minded people out there in order to create a page like that, let alone letting others become a fan of it, lol.
This is off topic, but to further that statement... one time I googled "how to hire a..." and the top 4 results were a foreign worker, a nanny, a temporary foreign worker, a hit man.
So assuming these are the general top search results of EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD... we can conclude that HALF of the people in the world are looking to save money by hiring fobs. A quarter of the people in the world are douchey parents looking for someone to help them make up for their inadequacies and a quarter of the world are psychos who have an axe to grind with someone or they just generally have at least a few enemies. That's nice...
So if were were to calculate the whole world's statics into that graph: over one BILLION people have psychotic minds... Is that scary?
Thank you so much, great advice!
I often wonder, how do we know if we can truly trust someone? Or how to tell if you were being manipulated? Hope you could answer soon :)
this was really helpful for me on this night! Thank you!
+Hooria Billah You're welcome!!
Same here
I love it! rad stuff man! thanks!
You're welcome!!!
Some people no matter what, can't be nice. I just had a lady who last year beat cancer, be so rude to me. I just don't understand, after going through something like that why can't she be more sensitive. She has mommy shamed me before and I was in front of my child and couldn't react, but I'm planning to be in front of her as often as posible (she works at my child's school) so she can see me eyes to eyes more often and get the message. I'm the sweetest person to others, but she is taking it the wrong way. I prayed for this lady so many nights. Now I'm praying so God grants me the patience not to give her a peace of my bitter side she is creating. *Feels so good to write it off my chest* I'm so sick of her already...
Glad I did the right thing yesterday. My rude teacher criticized and degraded us and the work of my team with his "WTF" comments. I stayed grounded and speak calmly. I controled myself not to disrespect him. Didnt respond with rude words or anything.
Awesome advice as always!
Thanks! :)
Working on this and getting better day by day💙
I had a terrible experience today when I took my driving test today and the man was so horrible cursing at me and shouting at everything I did even if it was correct. I usually try and appreciate that he is human and I don't know what he has been through or what triggers this foulness in people at time. They probably do it to everybody they come in contact with, so it probably best to not be affected by how terrible people are.
Thanks for your advice.
My brother's wife is such a rude person ,she used to tease me off whenever we had guests at home by ordering me in front of them to bring her a glass of water or etc ,but then I started to pretend like I had not heard any of what she asked, and it's ashame that she did not quit.
Giving your back to such mischievous indivisuals is the very best to do
Hi I just watched this and it helped me learn a lot. Right now I’m feeling a little rough. I’m 15 and yesterday I was hanging out with my friends at the mall when I accidently drop my drink after we get off the escalator, I look around for help because I don’t have napkins or stuff like that, as I was about to ask someone for help this woman yells at me and tells me to clean it up before someone slips. Now I get like someone will slip but what am I even suppose to do and that made me feel so upset when she treated me like that and I couldn’t say anything. So I ask someone to call the janitor,this lady that works at a store brings out her paper towels and start to but some paper towels around and I’m still trying to ask for help. After I ask for help I did not see the lady from the store so she also yells at me and says “hey why don’t u clean this up because I’m not the janitor” and leaves I was absolutely humiliated in front of everyone bc I was such a mess but soon the janitor came and told me it was okay and I could leave. What should I do if I still feel like shit?
It's so hard to handle rude people when you have a service industry job! Omg. Nothing major ever happened to me but I did let a lot slide that I otherwise wouldn't have. I was always just so afraid of getting fired, lol, so I was always super nice to customers. But yeah, it reflects really badly on people when they're rude, it doesn't reflect badly on the person dealing with it. As you said, they just sort of happen to be there when it happens. It's nothing personal.
Dude yesssss I'm loving your comments, we're totally on the same page!
*****
Very true!
That is miserable. But even the people service industry need respect. I do know to do, I only feel sorry.....
What gave me the hardest time was when someone asked me what they did wrong and everytime I rehearsed trying to explain it to them it came out so mean sounding. And I knew that even if I was able to get it out sounding right they would use it as personal ammo to be offended and justify more what they had done. Like I'm the mean one.
Also forgiveness was thrown in there. "I hope you can forgive me". First of all forgiveness is not just about letting something go, it is about change. If the person wanting to be forgiven isn't going to change then that means friendship isn't possible. The only thing you can do is forgive them and walk away. Only if a person changes their bad behavior can the door be opened again but a lot of people don't know that so the word "forgiveness" becomes a tool of destruction.
In the end I found it best to say "We are just 2 different people and I wish you the best" and be done with it.
People can be real douches. Sometimes even my friends but it makes me feel a lot better watching videos like yours.. It really helps thanks man.
People are outrageous with there digs or shade comments cause I know a lot of it steams from jealousy so they try to find your week areas to make themselves feel better ..I'm learning how to not worry about it Thanks for the video
very nice video! Totally true everthing you've just said. Main tip is to remain calm
No doubt!
This was really helpful. Thanks😁😍
No problem!
So earlier today, I had to bring in my guitar to school for talent show stuff. I had my hands full with a lunch box, backpack, ipad, and guitar case. So I had no room in my backpack for neither my ipad or my lunch box, so I had to carry them. My sister drove us to school and she had her hands full as well. These two girls were heading towards the door (and mind you, it was pouring rain), so me and my sister ran for the door, they looked at us, and closed the door on us. Are you serious? And both of us had our hands full. The school that we go to has two doors, little room in between, and two more doors. So they did the same thing again. So when I went to drop my guitar off to my principles office, they did it AGAIN! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! They didn't even think to hold the door. It's so stupid. If I were in that situation, and I saw someone with their hands full, my first instinct is to HOLD THE FUCKING DOOR OPEN! That morning, I remembered how rude people can be.
I think you're lying about when this happened
im not lying. i cant prove it, so you have to take my word for it
+Rob Koch I think YOU'RE lying about him lying about it! Lololol
I know you're lying because you said "That morning..." in your description, yet you claim that this all happened "today"
im not lying, dude. that all happened. so what, i mixed up today and that morning. that dosent necessarily mean that im lying. but like i said, you are gonna have to take my word for it.
Now this is useful. Thanks for sharing.
theres this girl in my school that keeps bothering me, its been over a year and she wont stop and i always end up having classes with her. i cant change my schedule because i'll always end up in one of her classes. im sick and tired of her and she wont stop bothering me i dont understand why she carries so much hate in her heart.
Thanks for this video man
For sure man
Dang. Loved your video and wanted to use with my class....but had the "s" word and can't show it in school. You have a great presence. Keep making videos.
wow, maybe you should show it anyways, the "s" word is a part of reality and it's the truth of what happens in this kinda situations ^^
I understand,just against school rules. You did a great job though
Oh, alright then :)
This helped quite a lot. Today probably one of the akward day. I got this new Job and I had their 2nd day of training but this manager lady that is supposed to train my team. She was quite nice at first but when I tried to speak to her, she gave me flat answered then turned her back and walk away. I found this very rude but I don't know how to handle the situation or should I assert myself right there and there. This 2nd day at the job so I don't have that confidence to actually speak up to my manager of how rude that was. She supposed to train me until at the end of my shift but she left which made mmy another manager that is in training to send me home. It really pisses me off.
this really helped me. Thank you!
aLonelyDragon Awesome! Fuhh shoooo
In school it was a lot different than dealing with an insulting person than when you are an adult. For example I remember one time I was in the sixth grade and was sitting near the back of the bus. I was a fairly big kid for my age not fat but just bigger than my classmates in general. There was a high schooler sitting behind me who I never really had any words with before but I guess he felt intimidated by me or something he kept insulting me for what felt like no reason at all. Well that went on for a few minutes and then he pushed me on the back of the shoulder and I turned around and popped him hard right in the forehead. He looked at me like his head was spinning and I asked him if he wanted to push me or insult me again and he just said no and kept quiet the rest of the way home. As an adult you can't resort to violence unless it is a last resort. In most cases you have to learn to tune out people and ignore them and control your reactions. If an adult is acting childish towards you then you have to be the adult in the situation because they most likely never will be one. You have to remember that who you are isn't defined by their insults and comments and that they aren't anybody important to you. After all who are they really? They don't provide you with work, they don't put food on your table, or clothes on your back, they don't pay your bills, they are nothing to you so why be bothered by their words.
Hey Martin! ;P Thank you so so much for your amaaazing videos! I always love watching them, such great content, you are awesome!! :) Recently a really harsh comment on my looks has thrown me out of balance. From then on I feel very insecure. It was as if a negative seed had been planted in me that I cannot get rid of. I would really love to see a video from you on how to be centred! I do have to work on that :)
Thanks man. I found this really helpful.
It can be awkward for me to talk publicly but some kinds of conversations can create that awkward feeling inside me, even when I'm talking to someone like my parents.
I've never had to have this conversation with them yet, but some advise for talking to your parents about a relationship would be helpful for me for in the future. Thanks for what you do!
-Grace Dunbar
thanks man this may help me in my everyday life wish me luck...
+Ej Denis Paul Calunsag No problem! Good luck!
i like how ppl actually watched this
I'm in an orchestra and after a show the girl next to me said the performance would have sounded the same if not better without me. It was quite funny, I'd never seen so much shit come out of one persons mouth at one time.
lindsey0806 Hahahaha forget them
Where has this channel been my entire life?!
Buried in CZcams's algorithm lol welcome!!
PeakYourMind Gasp! Senpai noticed me🤗
I'm gonna just go ahead and subscribe now... dude. U are the coolest!
Kenny Kardboard Hahaha thanks Kenny! :)
Respond in the negative, one step below them, if they question you, respond a little negative, and ask them what they want or need, it's called getting people to own their own problem.
how to deal with oneself if there comes the awareness of one's own rudeness?
New episode out now!
what's it called?
PeakYourMind -
Thanks! This really helped me!
well there was an incident that happend to me afew days back.....that really got on my nerv ...and what makes mad is why i dont react the i should at the time of the incident bcause i have no patence nor respect for rude people .....sometimes taking the higher road is bad for you....sometimes my nice side comes at the wrong time
Being assertive really helps. It's one thing to be nice but you also have to be shrewd and discourage disrespect as it happens. :)
Made me feel so better....thankyou
Your tips help me out all the time, bueno video mi amigo.
Dude that's great to hear! Gracias :)
not sure how i can incorporate this in Mcdonalds but thanks, very useful wisdom :)
I look forward to your video on being centered.