How to Stop Depressive Rumination: Overthinking Part 3 Stop Dwelling on the Past
Vložit
- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Want individualized support to stop dwelling on the past? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional counselor from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/therapyinanuts...
Depressive rumination is a type of overthinking where you create the habit of dwelling on the past. You rehash all the terrible things you can think of over and over and over. Depressive rumination says “Why is life so awful? Why am I such a failure? Why can’t I ever be happy?”.
Rumination is like ruts in a road, whenever you’re not paying attention, you slip back down into thinking about all your regrets. But then you spin your wheels, you think and think but never get anywhere. One of my other clients, Elena, constantly dwelt in the past, she’d Ruminate like this “ Why did I buy this car? I’m such an idiot!” Or she’d say “Why am I so depressed?” and she’d worry about it for hours every day, for months. But she didn’t just dwell in the past, she projected it into the future. In session she’d often say “What if my depression never gets better?”.
Another type of rumination is dwelling on how you were mistreated. Maybe your dad shamed you when you came out to him as gay, or your boss threw you under the bus at work, or your lover ghosted you, and you spend hours of your day wondering why they did that, alternating between resentment towards them and wondering if it was your fault.
Rumination might also look like fantasizing about how your life could have been better if you had done things differently. Rumination contributes to depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.
Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Support my mission on Patreon: / therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Check out my favorite self-help books: kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/bes...
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
It helps when I tell myself that no amount of stressing in bed until 3am is going to allow me to travel back in time to correct something.
Yar! I find thoughts like that help me actually process "well, actually, I don't need to hang on to this" and then let go. Seems like actually thinking about it, arriving at the conclusion that the behavior isn't going to lead to a solution actually helps...lead to a solution? At least, not to continue the insomnia hamster keep spinning the wheel.
Yes! Thank you, I will try this out
Dam straight, I needed to see this
I just saw this & it's exactly 3am, maybe I should tell myself the same thing
Unfortunately I find that just makes me feel worse.
I try to say to myself when I catch myself ruminating’Stop! That’s not true.’ And I immediately think about one of 3 things that I love or enjoy. Mine are watching snowflakes from my living room window, seeing my sister or how soft my bed sheets feel. It’s called a break state and it works.
This is a great suggestion. It is intentional. I used to do something kind of like this to stop cussing…
When I would cuss/ curse, I would correct myself- out loud. The out loud part was the key. It has to be out loud. I’d repeat the entire sentence without the curse word, and replaced with either an acceptable alternative or even better, a word that was more thoughtful and a more accurate descriptor.
I had to correct myself a laaahhhtt! But, after awhile, it worked. It didn’t take near as long as any other “trick” that I had tried! And it did last quite a while. Years, maybe.
I guess I better give it a try again. I don’t curse as a part of regular conversation, but when I’m upset, or talking about something upsetting?!? 🤬🤬🤬 Yep!, watch out! It is definitely a part of those conversations!🤦🏻♀️
Mittens on Kittens...
🤣😂🤣
Let's face it ... Julia is just a low life coward.
How do you stop it when you wake up with it??!
@@juliecoblentz2456 check out Emma's video on morning anxiety, it helped me ❤️💥
@@melissamurray9842 thanks so much!! I really like her podcasts they all are so helpful!!
Basically ruminating makes you feel productive but is actually a waste of time and makes you miserable
No thoughts without action…
I live 98% of my life up in my head. This could be one of the biggest changes of my life! 🤯
I know what you mean. If you figure it out please let me know because I just found this video.
Same
Me too. It is Awful and I need to STOP! Please help!
1. "What" questions instead of "Why" Q's, "Why am I so depressed?" --> "What small thing can I do to feel better?", "Why am I so stuck in avoidance patterns without a chance to break out and why am I so dissociated?" --> "What can I do to break my routine and what connects me to life?"
2. No vague statements / overgeneralizations, "I will always be miserable and stuck." --> "Right now I'm feeling blue, and it's okay for now to feel that. I'm already doing a lot just by accepting myself and staying aware."
3. No thinking w/o action: Be the wish I want to see in the world. Choose an area of concern, what is needed, and then take steps towards that.
4. No self labels, "I have depression." --> "Currently, I'm giving energy to behaviors patterns and habits which make me feel depressed, and I use this time to gain awareness of them.", "I'm lazy, and I never change." --> "Change takes time and isn't a linear growth curve. It's okay to fall back into old toxic habits. I continue to stay aware of it in order to learn."
5. If you point out the negatives, you must counterbalance w/ at least 2 positives. See both sides and not only one side, "I make a mess out of everything." --> "I messed this one thing up, and in my past I did things right. In my past, I also learned from my mistakes."
Wow, thank you!
Thank you so much. I can't get through her videos without going faster. Have ADHD and need the points clear and fast. Ty ❤️
Thank you 😊
Pop psychology drivel. Thanks for saving me from wasting my time.
@@justsaying7789 just fyi there's also a transcript in the info section above the comments. Sometimes I read or scan the transcript and rather than listen to the video.
"You might believe that thinking about your problems a lot may help you solve them."
"You feel like if you just think about the bad stuff more, you can prevent it... or regain control over the past."
You have given me the keys, Emma.🥰
@@factchecker706Ruminating doesn't solve the problem.
I am 65 years old now but seem to be obsessed with my schooldays 50 and 60 years ago
Same here! Those early years seem to have left some profound memories and emotions in my brain. They come back all the time, and it's interesting but also somewhat depressing at times.
I’ve been haunted by an incident for the past 3 days. No amount of rationalization, explanation, destress mechanisms, or yelling “Stop thinking about it” IS HELPING. I will watch this video in full to see if I can get better
I hear you...I ruminate on things for years, so videos like this help me
I also hear you, if I'm not distracting myself I'm obsessing
Hope you're finding some relief!
I was actually having similar issues. I tried different meds and therapies. The one that actually worked was the one i went into thinking was total BS; EMDR. Every time you replay the memory of that incident, you're just reinforcing those neural pathways in your brain. But reprocessing it through EMDR literally rearranges those pathways in your brain physically. The process also helps rebalance the two brain hemispheres so the incident is viewed in a balanced manner without too much emotion or over analyzation.
There were 4 specific traumatic incidents I would obsessively replay. Once EMDR worked with the first incident, I went back for the second, third, etc. I then started implementing the techniques myself at home when I have any type of negative experience and I find myself ruminating about it (to stop it right away and prevent me from ever going down that path again).
"The more you think about something, the deeper the grooves it creates in your brain"
💡WOW that's Big!! 🤯
That's a game changer. I picture it as, the thoughts are water, and they will flow along the certain pathways where it's easiest to flow through, the pathways most used.
I'm going to start applying that right now!! To make new pathways, the ones that are much more positive 💛 Thank you!!
What we focus on becomes our reality. I love Emma she explains everything so well. I learn from her a lot and it made a huge difference in my life and where I am now dealing with chronic illness I know help others with chronic illness. A lot of my information comes from Emma follow her and you can do it. And key here is to distract those thoughts as you know because your pathway is already trained so everything is going to go the same way unless you make a change and distracted and start taking new directions. I see you know that but I just had a response have a wonderful day I just share this video with two of my friends that I help because this is what they’re doing and maybe I didn’t explain it right have a great day
Yes! I hung on that for awhile too!
unfortunately the opposite works as well , if you dont use the emotional 'pathways' , they shrivel up and do not regrow
It’s creating a neural pathway
Watch "down the rabbit hole", "what the bleep do we know" and or "waking life"
Sometimes someone does something unjust to you and you will keep thinking about it simply because of how unjust it was. What worked for me is telling myself they are mentally sick, so we can't be upset at sick people, so forget about it.
As we say in addiction recovery, "Don't live in the wreckage of the future". (or the past) It's debilitating mentally, and physically. Prior to getting sober, I had no concept of a "spiritual condition". During my now 28 plus years of continuous recovery, I have seen countless people go from "restless, irritable, and discontent", to "happy, joyous, and free"! THAT is the power of developing a spiritual condition. My belief system today, tells me that no matter what, I won't have to self destruct! It allows me to LIVE IN THE SOLUTION, instead of the problem. All the best...Mark
Wow. You should be very happy and proud with your accomplishments. You are an inspiration.
@@withwilltheresaway3802 Thank you for your kind words. I am only sharing what so many others have freely shared with me. I now know that "I can't keep what I have, unless I give it away".
Exactly...that is spiritual growth 😊
What is the Spiritual solution for an addict that I know who keeps falling off the wagon?
Wise words Friend👍🏻
One aspect of rumination is that it tends to become addictive (drug like). So once you start, you fall into a pattern. Thank you for the strategies because identifying the behavior or pattern is the first step to change.
So true
You have to keep climbing out and sometimes clawing.
I am going to have watch this video 3 times a days for the next 5 years.
I have been working on this for quite a while. It is quite crazy how automatic this way of thinking is for me and how hard it is to not think like that anymore
It's like running off the road into that damn rut again.
I ruin my life overthinking, I feel miserable. I get anxiety attacks thinking what a failure I am. I hope I can afford one day getting online therapies from you, Emma. We are most probably not in the same country.
This is me too. I live in loserville.
@@prettybird7597 then it’s time for you to move out of loserville. You can do it! Best wishes in your “move!”
@@tessmolloy2388 not likely anytime soon. 🤷🏻♀️ but thanks.
none of that is your fault - the modern world is chaotic and our minds do what minds do in reflecting this chaos- none of us control our thoughts they just are - the world around us is horribly over stimulating. Is it possible to discover what cultural disorders are contributing towards the chaos and can some things be changed? The modern psychology turns the world inside out and makes it all about individual disorder rather than cultural disorders.
@@prettybird7597 I just want to tell you that God loves you more than you could ever want to be loved! He wants a personal relationship with you if you will let Him into your heart. The most important decision you will ever make is where you will spend eternity. The Bible says that you can know that you have eternal life in heaven, but If you are putting your trust in anything other than the finished work of Jesus on the cross to get you to heaven, you do not understand God's way.
The Bible says that we are all sinners. When God created Adam and Eve, He made them perfect without sin, but they chose to disobey God and became sinful in nature. This sin nature was passed down to all humanity.
Romans 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:
Our sin separates us from God.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
A holy, righteous God cannot allow sin into heaven. Sin must be paid for and God's price for sin is death, but not just a physical death, but a spiritual death which means separation from God forever in hell.
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
In the Old Testament when man sinned, God required the sacrifice of a perfectly spotless lamb as a substitute in the place of the sinner. The blood of that lamb was only a temporary payment for their sin and so this had to be done often. Jesus Christ, God's Son took on flesh, was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life and offered Himself as that perfect, spotless Lamb and shed His blood as payment for the sins of the whole world.
John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.
Jesus loved us so much He WILLINGLY came and allowed wicked men to spit on Him, mock Him and scourge Him until He was unrecognizable. They stripped him naked, thrust a crown of thorns on His head and nailed His hands and feet to a cross. He hung in agony for hours bleeding, thirsting, struggling for every breath. He died innocently in our place so that we could be saved from going to hell. It was His blood that satisfied the just demands of a holy God. God will not accept anything else.
There is no greater love than that!
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
The good news is that Jesus didn't stay dead in the grave. He came back to life 3 days later just like He promised and He still lives today!
Matthew 28:5 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.
6. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
Jesus did all this because He wants to give you the FREE gift of eternal life in heaven with Him!
You cannot do anything to earn your own way into heaven. You can't work for it, be baptized for it, go to church for it or try to be good enough for it. It is a FREE gift that God is offering to anyone who will simply receive it by faith.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
God said there is only one way to get to heaven, but it is not hard. You must admit you are a sinner headed for hell. You must believe that Jesus died and paid for your sin with His own blood on the cross, was buried and 3 days later rose from the dead. Then you must repent of your sins and call on God for mercy to save you from hell and give you eternal life in heaven with Him.
Romans 10:9 that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
13. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
None of us deserve God's mercy and grace, but let me warn you that if you reject His FREE gift, you are already condemned and when you die, you will suffer the torment of burning in hell for eternity in a lake of fire where you will be forever separated from God and all that is loving and good.
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Revelation 20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
Please don't wait. Don't take the risk of putting it off until another day, repent, turn to Christ NOW wherever you are at because you aren't guaranteed to live another day on this Earth. Believe God's Word, ask Him to save you and He will!
----------------------------------------------------------------
If you would like more information or don't have a church to attend, we livestream our services and would love for you to join us. God bless you.
facebook.com/regkelly.table/
www.libertyfaith.net/contact-us
Wow! When you said that dwelling on things become a comfort zone and it feels weird when things are looking fine.... damn. I've always wondered about that, but I don't think I've heard a therapist mention that before. What a wakeup call! Of course that's somewhere I wouldn't want to remain. I resonate with some of the reasons I ruminate... and yes... it's not the way to a better life. I will not be able to solve things by ruminating.
I am most on edge when things are really good… just waiting for the bad thing that’s inevitably going to happen, to happen.
Dear friend, I just want you to know that Jesus loves you more than you can ever possibly know and he wants to have a personal relationship with you. He knows exactly what you're going through and he can give you a peace in your heart like you've never experienced. I'd like to share with you the story of my best friend who lost her son. Even in the midst of her sorrow, she has joy. My hope and prayer is that you too come to have this joy in your life. God bless you!
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a gospel tract. If you or your Church would be interested in passing them out or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to:
facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/
In the middle of ruminating…I found this video. 😂
Thank you.🥰🙏🏻🌟
You can't shame yourself into a positive state of being.
it has taken me about year and a bit of mindfulness,meditation,lifestyle change,better sleep,better diet ,to have reached a point where my intrusive abstract,distressing ocd ruminating has started to ease. over 20 yrs of the torture daily, it wasnt easy and i will prob have to work at it....i never ever thought id be like this,i was resigned to the idea that it would never leave me....but its working..
Congratulations. I'm happy you can acknowledge the growth in yourself.
@@plainperson7033 thank you it will be a gradual process ,but i already feel different..lock down gave mr time and space to really focus youtube meditation, eckhart tolle musings also
Sounds good 👍 I think the same way. Haven't done it need too Thanks for post
Thanks for writing about your experience.. I'm 30 and been stuck in a depressive rut for almost ten years.. I'm also using the tools you use and it is helping.. slowly.. I still feel the weight of the rumination starting to lift but i'm only half way with the changes to my routine. So it's nice to hear of someone getting " results".
Thank you for this video. I have 67 years of regrets and anger that continually comes to mind. It has been driving me nuts lately. I am reviewing your steps and hopefully applying them will give me some relief. Thank you again.
you and me , im 57 and half the time i look back and think , 'what an adventure that was ' and the rest of the time i think 'what an idiot' i had SO many opportunities and walked away from all of them because i wanted control.
At 67 I think it is pretty remarkable you are facing these issues. Best of luck, Dan.
You have me beat by two years, lol. 65 and yes it’s a process, and still being open to improvement at our age is magnificent. Live your life!
Myself same issue keep thinking about what hurtful things happened to me past 32 years but nowadays I switch off my thoughts and keep doing things that make me feel happy n occupied like shopping, going for a walk cooking meet a loved friend 😊
Same here. I’m 65. I’m sure willing to try this idea to get past the past !
You're basically changing my life one video at a time
This is so true. Thinking that we’re a victim of the universe temporarily lets us off the hook but at what cost.
I just want to tell you that God loves you more than you could ever want to be loved! He wants a personal relationship with you if you will let Him into your heart. The most important decision you will ever make is where you will spend eternity. The Bible says that you can know that you have eternal life in heaven, but If you are putting your trust in anything other than the finished work of Jesus on the cross to get you to heaven, you do not understand God's way.
The Bible says that we are all sinners. When God created Adam and Eve, He made them perfect without sin, but they chose to disobey God and became sinful in nature. This sin nature was passed down to all humanity.
Romans 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:
Our sin separates us from God.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
A holy, righteous God cannot allow sin into heaven. Sin must be paid for and God's price for sin is death, but not just a physical death, but a spiritual death which means separation from God forever in hell.
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
In the Old Testament when man sinned, God required the sacrifice of a perfectly spotless lamb as a substitute in the place of the sinner. The blood of that lamb was only a temporary payment for their sin and so this had to be done often. Jesus Christ, God's Son took on flesh, was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life and offered Himself as that perfect, spotless Lamb and shed His blood as payment for the sins of the whole world.
John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.
Jesus loved us so much He WILLINGLY came and allowed wicked men to spit on Him, mock Him and scourge Him until He was unrecognizable. They stripped him naked, thrust a crown of thorns on His head and nailed His hands and feet to a cross. He hung in agony for hours bleeding, thirsting, struggling for every breath. He died innocently in our place so that we could be saved from going to hell. It was His blood that satisfied the just demands of a holy God. God will not accept anything else.
There is no greater love than that!
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
The good news is that Jesus didn't stay dead in the grave. He came back to life 3 days later just like He promised and He still lives today!
Matthew 28:5 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.
6. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
Jesus did all this because He wants to give you the FREE gift of eternal life in heaven with Him!
You cannot do anything to earn your own way into heaven. You can't work for it, be baptized for it, go to church for it or try to be good enough for it. It is a FREE gift that God is offering to anyone who will simply receive it by faith.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
God said there is only one way to get to heaven, but it is not hard. You must admit you are a sinner headed for hell. You must believe that Jesus died and paid for your sin with His own blood on the cross, was buried and 3 days later rose from the dead. Then you must repent of your sins and call on God for mercy to save you from hell and give you eternal life in heaven with Him.
Romans 10:9 that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
13. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
None of us deserve God's mercy and grace, but let me warn you that if you reject His FREE gift, you are already condemned and when you die, you will suffer the torment of burning in hell for eternity in a lake of fire where you will be forever separated from God and all that is loving and good.
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Revelation 20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
Please don't wait. Don't take the risk of putting it off until another day, repent, turn to Christ NOW wherever you are at because you aren't guaranteed to live another day on this Earth. Believe God's Word, ask Him to save you and He will!
----------------------------------------------------------------
If you would like more information or don't have a church to attend, we livestream our services and would love for you to join us. God bless you.
facebook.com/regkelly.table/
www.libertyfaith.net/contact-us
That one metaphor - a rut in the road you keep falling into - is very helpful. THANK YOU
I honestly don't feel the rumination and accompanying depression has any payoff. It's an automatic response and trespasser when I've been triggered. It doesn't get my needs met, I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I know my brain's lying to me, but I just want to avoid everyone and everything and stay in bed and let myself die. When I get like this, my body and mind are saying it's time to be kind and care about myself, but I struggle to even care. I'm a caregiver for 3 adopted disabled children and work directly with my oldest son, who's a narcissist. The only benefits I think I'm looking for is rest and validation and finding inner peace among the chaos. I love your videos and appreciate you being able to share your wisdom with me.
If you work with people one in one, I'd love to attend a session with you.
Thanks so much for all you do and the inspiring woman that you are.
With much love and respect, ❤
Karen
Thank you. This is the closest anyone has come to describing my experience during bad anxiety and resurgent depressive moments.
I’m having the hardest time coming back from a narcissistic relationship. I lost my mom May 4th of this year and the same day found out my boyfriend had been cheating. We were together 15 yrs and have a 13 yr old son. I’m heavily grieving my mom (who, now that I’ve grown up and know what it means, was a narcissist bc of the trauma she endured growing up. I have such sympathy for her bc I understand why she was the way she was, now) and feel like I’m also grieving the loss of my boyfriend. Because of this relationship and how I was raised, I now feel like I’m not good enough, to the point of where I feel like I’ve created that reality. Like I’ve become what was told to me. Even though i know better that it’s a him problem not a me problem, well now it is, I still feel like what he said I was, I was. It was subtle and I didn’t realize it was even sticking in my brain until I started doubting myself, my self worth, how I view the world, afraid of the future now that I’ve left him, can’t make a decision to save my life it seems, etc. There’s a lot. I’m an over thinker and anxiety ridden person by nature but this just took it way overboard to where I feel like I’ve lost myself. It’s also affecting my relationship with Christ. I keep thinking the negative and have this overwhelming sense of doom over me, at all times now, it feels. I know God wants better for me and for me to get out of my own way, it just feels so hard and so scary to change it. To change how I think. I’d love to think positively and be optimistic and not so pessimistic. It’s the craziest thing. I can be so optimistic when it’s about anyone and everyone else but I can’t give myself the same grace and mercy?? I most certainly don’t enjoy it on any level. My problem is I can’t stop it, it feels like. I will go to a video or my Bible to help bring me back to my senses and calm myself but everything just feels so upside down, lately. Loss of my mom, loss of my sons father, new home, new job that I’m terrified of and have no idea why. I’m a caregiver and lost the couple I’ve been with for 2 years in February and swore I wouldn’t get back into nursing just yet bc I felt like I needed a mental break from loving and losing people, then my mom passes while searching for a new job. God had other plans for me bc a family friend needed someone to take care of their parents so here I am, again. I start Monday and I’m terrified and can’t figure out why. I’ve met them, I love them and I think we’d be great together but I’m afraid. Maybe I’m afraid of failing, of disappointing them and my friend that is same as family… there’s a lot but I am just afraid. Afraid of life and the future for what it holds. I’m a mess haha didn’t mean to ramble on but apparently needed to get that out there to anyone that would listen. I think I’m just desperate. I’ve prayed harder than I’ve prayed in my life. I’m just, stuck.
Wow! I feel your pain deeply. I'll pray for you tonight and hope your journey treats you well. You keep on going strong and things will get better. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom and your break up. We have a lot in common and I can relate to your story. Hang in there please and be hopeful. God bless
Have a look at Theo therapy 😊 you can find it online. Julia Muir teaches it and also counsels online it’s Christian based 🙏🏻
GOD BLESS
That was helpful. We use rumination to try to solve a problem or end some pain we feel and we use it because we feel helpless and all we can do is to ruminate. Sometimes the problem or the pain is too complicated like emotional trauma for example which is one of biggest reasons for rumination..
I couldn’t agree more.
@Emanne, am with you on this 💯 ✅
What I do to overcome this is to reason with myself that the person who caused me emotional trauma is mentally ill. They are sick and it's not their choice to be sick, so forget about it and don't think about it.
During rumination, it really helps me to either come back to the present (5 things coloured green) or notice the underlying emotion for self-compassion. Great info in this video & adore the red nails. Love this channel x
I can relate to this. It is miserable.i can especially relate to the reasons she listed. Punish myself, gain control over something that I can't control, prevent bad things, etc.
Yup thats me, even at 63. She nailed this. AND WHY. I need to break out, even now so many years doing this. Lets all break out!
THANK YOU a million times for this video. I needed it, as I'm going through a low point now. Whenever I'm low I think "Oh I'm relapsing " and that engulfs my thinking until I do get worse. I wish I could control my thoughts and think more positive
I'm suffering from ruminating for almost 4 years now. I have been trying my best not to think. But now it just went to a point where it leads to anxiety attacks. Every day I'm feeling miserable and the fear of what worse thing will happen next.
The is the worse feeling ever in my entire life
The only time I forget is when I goes to sleep.
Otherwise I am never out of ruminating. Every day dealing with panic attacks 😭😭😭 is the worst situation of all.
All energies been drained and feeling miserable every day.
I'm in the same position. My favorite part of the day is when I'm back home in my bed getting ready to sleep 😞
I have no other thing to say than a 'Thankyou'
Because Its videos like this that help in times of need.. Even if temporarily, even if slightly; anything other than compelte relief...
Sometimes all you need is someone to both give you the facts and answers but also the kindness and compassion that you need... That: "Its gonna be okay, dont worry"
This was so helpful, thanks so much for this! My mom, son and I all ruminate and your recommendations seem doable and give me hope for us. I didn’t even realize I was a ruminator until trying to help my son with his ruminating and ocd. Blessings on you and all who struggle with this😊💕
This is information that I have been needing for a very long time! I have never heard of depressive rumination, and it is something I have been in a vicious cycle with for at least a decade. It’s hell! You are amazing! I am happy that I have found your page!
THANK YOU for teaching me about Depressive Rumination, I never had a term to describe what I do every day of my life. Now I do, and I can begin to address it. You enlightened me and improved my day, so again THANK YOU ♥️
I love Emma’s style of sharing such great wisdom. I feel like she’s sitting right next to me and talking to me. I benefit do much from your videos! So generous of you to share these with us without charging $$$$
Just wanted to say thank you for your work . The way you teach is like listening to a caring best friend, not like a clinical therepist. Thank you 💗💗💗
Rumination has taken enough of my energy and time away. Thank you for this video. As always, you are of great help to me. I have my first therapy session next Monday and your videos have helped me gain the courage to make that appointment. Thank you again for all that you do. Sending lots of light your way 💛
Rumination is torture. It drove me to start antidepressants because I dwelt on a past relationship while unhappily married. 12 years later, I'm off my SNRI and back to ruminating on additional regrets snd wondering if it will ever stop now that my brain is also screwed up from the serotonin manipulation. I pray for a miracle.
I've stumbled into a lot of these as I've tried to get better, so I'll take this as a good sign I'm finally headed in a good direction. The deepest holes echo the loudest, but that's not a crowd, that's just the darkness amplifying your smallest thoughts to a deafening degree.
You are helping so many people with the knowledge you share, listening to you besides using regular therapy has been so helpful.
There are tasks my therapist would tell me and I'd listen to you first and I'd see another angle to work on it.
And vice versa, this trouble with rumination has been with me ever since I can remember and now I'd bring it up in our session to come. You are a truly a gem!🌟
Your Optimism and your Smile brings Hope. You know your stuff. And the best time to see your videos is in the Morning. 👍
I've obsessively ruminated about my past for over 40 years (since child hood). It's is so hard to redirect my thoughts and focus. The worst part is it seems to always be existential and in relation to religion (Ocd3). It was good to hear this. I've been trying to redirect my thoughts actively every day and it's exhausting. Thanks for the video, it was great.
I suppose that’s something which is built into religions to keep people anxiously going back.
The fact that the claims are unfalsifiable means nobody could ever know the truth, no matter how much others claim to believe it, they’re believing without knowledge or evidence.
There’s a group online called recovering from religion, for helping those with similar issues which have been caused by religion.
Hope that helps.
I love your channel so much because it helps me observe my own observation more clearly. I love psychology and the mind, but I sometimes find it difficult to express psychological evaluations in a clear manner. The fact that you're so knowledgeable in the field helps me to kind of gather my ideas and thoughts revolving the human mind and how we react to certain things. Thanks so much for making this content. You truly are an awesome person! ☺
Emma, You are the best speaker and your videos are not only helpful but are also so comforting. Such great delivery helps the lessons you offer easy to watch and then help me to learn and try and find successes in overcoming anxiety and overthinking. Thank you!
You are so comforting and your pragmatic, easy conversational style is so encouraging . Thank you
I’m so grateful for you and your videos to exist! Your channel helped me so much and still do. Thank you a lot, love from France ❤️
When I ruminate, I say to myself, ...."You got through that bad choice, poor parenting, inappropriate behavior, abuse, money spend, relationship, etc...by the mercy and grace of God." Thank You, Father God, Thank You !!!
Emma always shows up with the right message at the right time!
This is one of my key problems in my mind. Yeah, it feels good briefly to ruminate, be depressed, and resentful of others who’ve wronged me
This is good stuff. So, so true. I have a son who is depressed and he keeps saying these things over and over. I'm sending him your site and hopefully he'll see some things that he can change. Thank you for all your wisdom. God bless.
Thank you!! This was EXACTLY what I needed today. I've been stuck in an anger resentful rut in my relationship over the past few days and it was eating me alive. I think these tips might definitely help.
Same here. Prayers for healing for you and moving on from whatever happened
This has been the video i’ve been looking for my entire life. This video just made me cry. I’m a grown man. This is what my ducking brain has been doing and no one nor myself has been able to help me. thank you so much for this video you are a angel
You always say the right thing, your videos help me so much.
so easy to ruminate unless we break the cycle. If you receive bad or frustrating news your mind just goes over and over it looking for solutions. None exist except following the guidance Emma offers
Omg. You are my hero. Anybody that thinks there’s nothing beneficial about CZcams never saw this video.
I really loved the the 2 positives over the two negatives at the end. Thank you!
Im happy I stumbled onto this chanel. Mental health is so overlooked and has been stigmatized for far too long. 48 yrs on earth and not many of them have been yrs of mental/emotional balance or strenght. So many topics covered here, and other videos hit so close to home...now putting steps and knowledge into action has not yet been my strong suit so the "action" will be the biggest challenge. Thank you for this chanel. 🙏🏻
You won’t know how much I needed to hear this. Thank you girl. Also your makeup and hair are so on point.
This couldn't have come at a better moment for me. Your videos are such life savers for some of us. Thank you so much
I'm getting a little impatient. I already know what rumination has if I'm tuning into this video, why spend the first 20% of the time telling me where I already know? Why would I tune in if I was not already having a problem with rumination?get to the part where you tell us what to do
I invest hours trying to find answers because every video does this.🤪
Focus on 'what' and not 'why' is great advice....this whole video is wonderful.
I no longer suffer from this, positive affirmations helped me
Thanks for these videos. I find them more helpful for giving actionable tips with a warm attitude than a lot of other mental health / psychology channels on CZcams, and you're definitely my go-to. The piece I'm taking away from this video is "No thinking without action." It's such a short and easy to remember quip, and I think this will be the most helpful tip for the stage I'm at.
I needed this so much. Already in this loop for 6 full months
Thank you so much it's a true blessing to have this channel I am working on this 😊😊
I pray everyone will be able to use this information
Thank you, thank you, rumination is one of my greatest mental challenges, I've written every suggestion down, and I plan to go over them everyday.
I like your voice and tone and softness. Thank you for being real and helpful!
Thank you for these practical suggestions to change one's mental environment.
In Steps to Knowledge Marshall Vian Summers writes: "I will not deceive myself today. Strengthen your commitment to Knowledge. Do not fall into the apparent ease of self-deception. Do not be comfortable merely with assumptions...Do not accept the mere appearance of yourself [your outer conditioning]. Doing these things demonstrates that you do not value yourself or your life and that you are too indolent to carry forth effort on your own behalf. You must enter uncertainty to find Knowledge... which simply means you are giving up false assumptions, self-comforting ideas and the luxury of self-condemnation. Why is self-condemnation a luxury? Because it is easy and does not require you to examine the truth. [Instead] allow yourself to examine the truth of your life... feel what this means. Remind yourself that you are worthy of such an effort. Do not give in to what is easy and painful." (MVS, Steps to Knowledge)
Wow, thanks for making this video, Emma! I've been struggling hard with my habit of constantly rerunning hideous shame-inducing experiences from my past. Thank you so much for suggesting some actual countermeasures!
Somehow, your videos always find me at the right time. Thank you for posting!
LSD abd mushrooms completely changed my whole outlook on life..I became a better version of myself.
This experience gave me a lot of confidence about myself and a bunch of bad thought/behaviour pattern were broken. One of these was pretty bad OCD that made me wash my hands alot..it gave me a lot of hope that things will be fine, this is the one thing that I heard throughout the trip. The main reason for the trip was my severe Depression and it definitely helped me. Before all I could do was lay in bed, now I am trying to rebuild my life one step at a time which wasn't possible before.
How can I get it
Thanks so much for this video!! Ive watched so many and they often just fall on ‘thought stopping’ which actually worsens thoughts for me.
I've been struggling with rumination in the context of intrusive thoughts which lead to low self-esteem and anxiety. Your videos have really helped me and reminded me of the lessons or conclusions of my therapy sessions, which I unfortunately do not have money for more visits. But man , now that I found your channel? It's like 'Ka-ching!' money saved on the pocket! hahaha great content!!!
No! Feeling this way hurts to much to enjoy being in it.
Thank you for these All the years of paying for therapy, You are the first I've heard of real terms and ways to think You tell what's happening in the emotions atm I love this!
You’re so amazing and your work helps so many people. Sending you love!
I have a pretty severe problem with anxiety. It's been a tough life. The anxiety causes long periods of isolation, which in turn causes really bad depression and endless rumination. I'm 55 now, and I've been dealing with this since I was a little guy. I've survived, but it's been tough. Of course I've tried every technique under the sun, but my anxiety always wins. However, about two years ago, I decided to start a medication called, Lexapro. I am now extremely functional, and I actually experience happiness: real deep happiness. It has given me the life I've been frantically searching for. My anxiety is at or below normal levels, as is my feeling depressed. I'm so grateful.
Thank You, Emma. Sending prayers for you and your family. Please know you are appreciated
Really needed this right now. Spiraling and it appeared in my recommendations.
Ooooo this is helpful! I'm a professional ruminator. If I counted the laps in my head as miles on the road it would accumulate to running a marathon on the daily! I am definitely trying to control the past. Thank you for the tips! : )
amazing analogy
Telling yourself not to think about the things you like works for me, it makes them things brighter!
Good morning from Kathmandu, Nepal ! I came across your channel by chance few weeks back. The videos are well written and touches the heart. happy to mention that your video on rumination has been an eye opener for me to overcome the 'stuck thinking' of the past several years. keep up your good videos. God bless you!
This is so me. Thank you for the video! Congrats on the new baby!!!
Thank you so much for this series. I asked over 5 therapists for simple, concrete actions been told, " good luck, it doesn't exist. "
Thank you for this.This is something my husband and me both struggle with. Very helpful.Bless you.
Great, great, great advice. So many constructive and pro-active suggestions to break the negative cycles.
"No self-labelling" is of utmost importance. I appreciate
You're freaking me out. I found your channel recently, and I've never heard these thing put so succinctly. Dammit, now I'm running out of excuses.
Very informative. Perfect timing for me. Just this morning I had an altercation with a driver. I've been ruminating on it all day. Even adding narratives that didn't happen!!! As the day goes on, it's getting more and more vague. It becoming less and less.
This sounds so much like me . And it's always about the past or just worry about something in general and I feel like it's just a habit of keep thinking bout it .
I have lived this out for most of my life and I never knew it was called depressive rumination. Now it all makes sense to me. Thank u!
Great video again, Emma. Thank you for your pointers !
I am ruminating whilst watching this, what hope is there.
This is such an important topic. It’s difficult to find any useful help for it. But this was terrific - full of solid steps and actions - I’ll be returning to it over and over. Thank you! 💗
Its like you know what I am doing, of all days, today I find this video during a very pivotal moment in my life. I need to stop this and move forward. Thank you for enlightening me today on this subject, I knew I was self sabotaging but to what extent I did not know.
These videos are super helpful and always seem to find me at the right times, thank you!
Your videos are incredibly succinct and informative. I often refer to them.
Thank you, especially for the style you explain and convey the message.
Your videos are just amazing, and so helpful.