“He Be Feeding Me Pasta and Lobster” | Hard Wig Soft Life Theory
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- čas přidán 22. 01. 2024
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The concept that a hard wig equals a soft life has become a theory that has been circulating all over the internet. In this video, we will be discussing whether this theory is true or not, or if this is a problematic theory. Share your thoughts in the comments down below!!
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The formula that actually works, where a BW attracts rich, intelligent, successful, good-looking guys of any color, but especially WM, is where she (1) is pretty (WM are "face guys" mostly); (2) is educated but mostly ambitious about raising a family; (3) has natural hair; (4) has natural short fingernails, (5) dresses appropriately for the occasion; (6) thin to athletic build; and (7) doesn't have a victim mentality. That formula will attract the top shelf WM rather than just rich, lonely geeks.
The Bitter Black Queen who sold out Martin Luther King (THE RIGHT HAND)
czcams.com/video/KQYkohBt6cc/video.htmlsi=VZmQoc94vTBfzNOo
I think that it’s another way to poke fun of black women who decide to date outside of their race. Also, can we please talk about how mean black women are to each other when someone hair isn’t “slayed or laid”. It’s honestly really sad and disheartening.
Simone Biles, anyone?
Gabby Douglas, Blue Ivy, Ari Lennox. It’s sad actually coming from our own community.
Im mexican but im down to date a black girl.
Trust me, none of us care, we're too busy being cared for and not in struggle love. We don't need validation or approval from the black community, a community that never cared for us or protected us. Fxck all that race loyal shxt
It’s already bad enough that society judges us on our natural hair but I think its 10x worse when some bw bully other bw just cause their wigs don’t cost $1000 or something
Rich women have the financial capital to ignore social expectations and be eccentric. I’ve seen rich, white and asian women look just as crazy. We just tend to hone in on our own.
Exactly thank you!!!
This!
Yall just be u9ly as hell that's all lol just like the women in the video
This is well stated
Facts
I remember being told a few years ago by a black man that I look like a black woman that looks like she dates white dudes. I initially didn't understand what he meant, but after seeing this hard wig=soft life trend on tiktok, I understand. I don't wear wigs, but I wear my hair in crochet braids in various colors, and I'm dating an Asian man. I had in purple braids the 1st time we met, and when he saw my braids, he compared them to the purple flowers on a wisteria tree. He's seen my 4c hair with all the new growth and he loves it. So, if I look like I date outside my race because of my hair choices, so be it. I'm happier than I've ever been.
What a beautiful compliment on your braids, sounds like a great guy❤️
Yesss. Go where the love resides. Love this for you!
Someone told me this not too long ago and I wasn’t sure what to make of it either. I liked reading your experience!
like a wisteria tree 😢🥰
That is so beautiful and I’m so happy for you sister and I don’t wanna sound like a cliché when I say this but please where do you all find these men don’t know if the state I’m in I don’t know what’s going on😭😭😭
This theory is just a way to put black women in their place and judge them for dating outside their race.
literally
It does not work for the black women who are free thinkers.
Yup literally! The gag is these women don’t give a damn about it and are living their best life! Good for them!
Yup
These women who try to shame black women for dating out are black male worshippers who love black men simply because they are black and male. They put black men on a pedestal knowing full well that black men will never do the same for them. This is why they get jealous of black women who date out of their race successfully. They wonder why they can’t find a man regardless of race that loves them and you can. So they use terms like this to shame us and make themselves feel better about not being able to attract real men.
I'm not convinced whyte men know what a properly laid wig looks like. Men can't even tell when women have natural makeup on most of the time. I could be wrong tho
as a white woman, I can tell you unequivocally that white men absolutely do not know what a laid wig vs. 'struggle wig' looks like. Even for me personally, having done a lot of learning about Black hairstyles and care so I can properly care for my biracial children's hair, the state of any Black woman's wig or weave or any other style just wouldn't even be on my radar. I do notice white women's hair that's been bleached and fried to high heaven, but the nuances in Black hair usually doesn't even cross my mind. I have no doubt there's even less thought there for 99% of white men lol
You are right ! Men really don’t know when a woman is even wearing weave sometimes
To be honest, oher races of men are not obsessed with the beauty practices of women in the same way as blk men are.
@@djlivvy46 that's true
@@djlivvy46 maybe because black men really want to rest in their femininity
The "joke" seems pretty mean spirited honestly. I feel like BW in general are always looking for a reason to claw at very hypergamous BW (especially if they want to be in that position) and this is just another case of that. That's just my opinion though.
I think BW just hate seeing any BW with a man. Tbh
They're envious because their laid wigs and toothbrushes edges got them nothing but struggle. 😂
is the truth
@@tessy28😂😂😂not toothbrush edges 😂rofl😂😂
I don't think it's mean spirited for Black women to be on code about their hair. Just say you don't mind looking a mess 😂😂
Y’all will NEVER catch me with a hard wig, but I most certainly will be living a soft life
That part!
Facts 😂😂😂
And that’s on period
Period😊
And that’s on what?
PERIODT!!! 💯
Can you guys hear?? Please like this comment
Yes we can hear😊
Definitely 👍🏾
Yes
Yes we can hear :)
It's not your look it's how you carry yourself that would make ppl say you seem white...you know the usual putting your own kind a a small unflattering box
“Basically, if you’re wearing a hard wig, it means that your wig looks like a wig”. All wigs look like wigs, melted lace and all, they ALL look like wigs.
Yea but some loook like road kill 😂
💯… & idk who they fooling with the baby hairs slicked down to their eyeballs. Yes it looks “slick” but it still looks wiggy & full of all kinds of chemicals
I agree. You can tell when a woman is wearing a wig.
Why assume that they are trying to fool anyone. They are wearing what they like and styling themselves as they like. Simple as that. Why are people so concerned and pressed about what another individual chooses to do with their hair? That’s weird.
@@Jubilee_BXFunny you made this comment on THIS thread but not a thread where women supposedly wearing “hard” wigs are being dogged. The word “weird” isn’t cool anymore. It’s juvenile and denotes a person unable to convey their disapproval without negating another person’s right to have a different viewpoint. And yes, most are trying to hide the fact that they’re wearing a wig hence bleaching knots, changing the lace color and density, etc. Besides, most who wear wigs will say they don’t want it to look obvious….hence the “it’s giving scalp” and ridiculous baby hairs.
I grew up in a wealthy white area and got teased by my cousins about not "acting black" or being "too white" my whole lifffffffeeee! I've never had a wig or a weave. I've only dated outside of my race... never been with a black man. Man I've identified with so many of the points made in the video. Like why are black ppl so mean to each other. There's no need for all of the negativity.
Now I take it as a compliment. For some odd reason people equate class and respect to whiteness. Lol I don't want to look like a baby mama so I keep my lashes at a below 25mm. I don't glue down my baby hairs. I don't wear "Black girl makeup". I didn't even grow up around wealthy white people I'm just not into blackistani antics.
@@lauren6509baby momma doesn’t have a “look” & the fact that you put not wanting to look like a baby momma & black girl make up together let’s me know you def self hate anti black women type. As if it’s only black women that are babymommas when other races become baby mommas everyday but I bet you don’t say they have a “look” tho
Me and you are the same person fr😭🥲
@lauren6509 this is actually considered a social phenomenon in the US and other countries. A lot of people view whiteness as the default, there's a sociological term for it but I can't remember it right now
Exact same! Grew up in upper middle class and never dated a black man before lol 😅🥂
where’s the “fried extensions/soft life trend”??
i went to school similitude to University of Alabama and i can not tell you how common it is for bleach blondes with obvious and bad tape in extensions to “bag” wealthy white men.
BUT no one is scrutinizing white womans hair
Very true but I don't really see alot of white woman calling each other out over this stuff online though.
@@Chillikilli True. I mean, they do have the whole stereotype of the "dumb blonde" but BW really go in on other BW with texturism, colorism and featurism torment CASUALLY. The mean girl energy I get from BW as a fellow BW is wild. SMH
I agree. The most I see are the blonde vs brunette discourse. However for bw it seems like every fiber of our hair is micromanaged
Nowhere because white women are on code and defend their image as a collective.
Oh it happens. A girl at my daughter's school was wearing some really bad extensions, and she was bullied for months until she stopped wearing them. The difference between the two is in white culture if you wear wigs and extensions it's more looked down on, you're fake because you dont have it. Where as in the black community it's a more accepted common practice, because the care of the hair is different and not necessarily because you don't have it.
Hi Toni, my dad passed away this Friday and I needed that verse today. Thank you.
Oh wow, I am so sorry to hear that. Sending my deepest condolences to you and your family. I’m so happy that verse spoke to you ❤️
Sorry for your loss, praying for peace for you and your family. May he rest in peace 🫶🏾🫶🏾
So sorry my love sending you my prayers and condolences. Mine passed on Monday and i too needed that verse ❤.
I'm sorry for your lost
Omg I’m so sorry to hear honey 😢 I’m wishing you and your family comfort and peace 🙏🏾💞💞💞
Also why don’t women just wear braids on vacation?? That’s my go to!! If I’m going to the beach, I am going swimming!!
Yep, braids are my go to!! Just recently I tried, curly clip ins because braids have just gotten too expensive and I really loved them
Same here! Although I'm trying faux locs for my next vacation. When I go to the beach or whatever, I can't be bothered to be spending my time worried about getting my hair wet or how to style it, etc. I put in some braids, call it a day, and relax.
idk how some do it, unless it’s a glueless one, cause it’s hot 😭
I always either wear braids or faux locs on vacation because I love to swim. I will never wear a wig on vacation.
@@PrettyPrincess9609 those 2 for the win honestly
Can we please normalize being a regular ass chic in the black community. The over the top makeup, lashes, and nails with the barely there fits is the standard now. It's kinda sad. Everyone walking around looking like a Bratz doll 😔
Yes!❤
Amen!
Don’t wait for anything to be normalised. Walk in it yourself. If you want to be chic, be it. Be comfortable with making your own mark.
its really not everyone, just whoever is in ur instagram algorithm
hookers not bratz dolls
The joke quickly became mean spirited! But the truth is y'all, it was never about the wig. It's about how "black" you are. From my own experience, men outside my race have pursued me because I'm not the "city girl, skee yee" type of girl. I grew up in strict African household, I couldn't be that way authentically if I tried smh. Proximity to black culture, specifically the parts that are viewed as negative, is what matters to those who are interested in dating outside of their race. And it's not just with black women! I am in no way trying to put down certain types of black women AT ALL. You should be bale to be yourself and be loved. I'm just saying it like it is.
Very important point! That comes with the territory of being a minority, and by extension living in a society (lol). The inner policing and the opinions of outsiders are all part of a macrocosm, where minorities have to play a confusing game to simply be treated a little better, or find solace with others. It’s a topic that can be a whole dissertation.
majority of black women are not 'city girl' types,
African woman here and I agree. But the nuance here is that there are black women with laid wigs (without the tacky adult hairs) , who attract rich white men too. Maybe it’s the country I’m living in. Another thing is, you need to understand what other women mean by rich white man. Are we talking millionaires or billionaires? Different factions of rich men will be attracted to the black woman of their choice regardless of the condition of her wig. It’s dumb, yet this theory has gained so much traction.
@@RiaDonita I agree, but the difference is African women are more open to dating outside of their race. Particularly in Europe, there will not be too many white guys who would be shy to flirt because there isnt as big as a racial barrier
@@munaali840 yet so many blk people want us to be city girl types and if we’re not we’re not “black enough
One more thing AFROS ARE SO COOL!! If u can girls rock it it is the most unique hairstyle that NO ONE CAN REPEAT unless they can naturally . Black women with their natural afros just dazzle me!
Isn’t it funny how hair makes all the difference? I wear “crunchy” wigs. I do yoga daily and am very active. So im also pretty thin and model height. I always attract white guys, the geeky spoiling kind.. even Asians, Hispanics, and middle eastern sometimes. But there are days where I really slay my hair and I have absolutely no troubles attracting black men but it’s usually only black men and men who act black. It’s also who you are as a person so..
Edit: grammar
Yes, I share this observation. To me it seems that BW who pander to the BM gaze are the ones that feel they have to be perfectly ‘slayed’. Whereas BW more comfortable with unique self expression will present themselves as they wish, and that stands out.
The only time Ive heard black women criticized is by the black community itself. There seems to be alot of infighting in the community and thats sad to see.
😂😂😂 that is not tru. I know it may be ur experience but that is not how the world operates
Yesss when did we become so desprate for love? I know the black woman hate is at a all time high, but i think we are going too far be to accepted. Also, we need to start loving our own hair because it has been black woman telling me to wear wigs or perm my hair, while black men loved my afro. Sometimes we are our own bullies🤷🏽♀️
Great point
Every race has “bullies”. Nothing new. that is a human trait
Atleast one women admitting that a lot of BM prefer natural hair,but we get insulted for that but when a WM loves BWs Natural haire he gets praise
@@storyteller6777 Yeah I can agree with that. I hope we all come together soon and stop the hate towards one another.
@@storyteller6777thats because its actually true and most bm say natural hair and go for wigs and lace fronts and sew ins.
Thank you for speaking up about it. The jokes were slightly funny at first but honestly it gives mean girl energy. These same women making fun of miss “hard wig, soft life” are still struggling in relationships, have low self esteem when they’re not laid and slayed, and not living in a gated community getting ready for their all expense paid(by their husband) trip to Bali…
Bingo
Thank you! I'm like is ''Soft Wig, Hard Life'' supposed to be better? The jokes didn't just give mean girl energy but also jealously.
It's jealousy because many of them are being made baby mama's with their laid wigs 😂
@@tessy28 half their money towards their installs and other towards their baby daddies🫠 this trend is a coping mechanism
yes their beauty isn’t getting them luxuries and resort trips
This joke is weird i swear🤦🏽.
It's honestly so cringe. I wish BW woulda just kept this as an inside joke. It's coming off as desperate and is now looking like BW are moving from worshipping BM to worshipping WM instead. This ain't what "leveling up" was supposed to be 🤦🏿♀️
Is this serious?? As if men have ANY clue what the condition of a wig implies about the societal experience of whoever’s wearing it?! 😂😂😂 i absolutely agree with the idea that they’re more easygoing and not uptight HOWEVER I don’t think the wig portrays that I think they’re ENERGY conveys that! And the wig is just a side effect
Lmao exactly! Most of these men do not know the difference when it comes to hair and makeup. We are giving them way too much credit.
Seriously! Men still think the "no makeup look" is actually no makeup and think foundation is like $5, they aren't thinking that hard. Hell, a lot of men cannot even tell the difference between good makeup and makeup applied sloppily (like how I do it) as if they know what edges even are. @@rhearoo3081
This is the internet at its finest! Black Men may say something about your hair to make you feel bad about yourself. But a decent white man or any man could care less. I honestly have always worn crunchy wigs the reason for that is, it looks more realistic. if you are wearing a bone straight wig, you can see from across the street it's fake. Black hair for the most part doesn't grow like that out of your head. Now if you have the money for an expensive wig, more power to you! The wigs that are laid and perfect cost money and sometimes are professional installed. If a wig is attracting men, I think you need to question those men. We are so much more than a hairstyle.
@@rhearoo3081 absolutely!!! Lol!! I don’t think I’ve had one boyfriend, mind you I am a serial long-term relationshipper, like three years or more,that acknowledged a significant or drastic change in hair color! It’s an EXTREMELY RARE OCCASION that it is even processed by their ocular nerve, converted to visual information and recognized by their brain as something different! the ONLY two reasons a regular schmegular, rule-not-exception, heterosexual man notices a woman/their woman’s hair is either;
A. - when they DONT like it, at all!
•OR•
B. - they DO like it, a LOT!
@@noe_luq my theory is they don't look as high maintenance as the insta baddies
I appreciate you making this video. I am a black woman dating a white man and I find people criticizing us constantly or ask why my hair is a certain way, but I don’t care. My baby loves my natural hair. Wig or no wig, he loves me for me. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with beauty standards in general. 21:58 🖤🤘🏽I’m also alternative too
It is sad when other people appreciate our natural features more than our own community
@@B_addie This exactly.
My white husband doesn’t want to see any wig on my head, he just love my coily hair.
@@B_addie”more then our own community” is a huge stretch. But y’all swear y’all ignorance is facts 😂just say the black ppl you hang around don’t like black feature’s because y’all can’t speak for every single black person.
@@beautyjunkie6282make sure you have just as much control over what he looks like since he has control over you
I can definitely agree with feeling like you don’t adhere to the “ black beauty standards”. I get the “you sound white” comments 24/7 and I don’t get my lashes done, I rarely ever do my edges and overall don’t fit the “ black baddie “ standard at all. I’m 100% black lol ,but the black women I’m surrounded by that are my age fit the “black baddie” standard.
Ugh, I hate the "you sound white" comments! So frustrating, right?? I don't even like my own voice bcz I think it's too high pitched like minnie mouse, like, stop telling me I'm white just bcz I don't use urban slang.
I've never heard of this theory until now, but I'm 100% in agreement with you that it's completely ridiculous.
I'm a 27-year-old black girl that's married to a white man. We've been together for almost 10 years. I also used to get attention from other white guys pretty often when I was in college. And I guess you could say I don't fit the conventional beauty standards that you mentioned that black girls are expected to aspire to; I wear my hair completely natural, I don't wear wigs or weaves or anything, I don't really wear makeup. My husband says that white guys don't care about whether your edges are laid or your wig is straight, etc., because white men aren't aware of the strict beauty standards that black women place on themselves, so they just don't care. All that extra stuff doesn't matter to them. They just care whether or not they first find you attractive and second whether they like your personality.
I can't be sure that this is the case with all white guys, but at least for my husband and the guys that he's interacted with it doesn't matter whether you fit the aesthetic that the black community generally thinks you should. It matters more that you're being yourself, and beauty comes from that. It seems like black women are far too hard on themselves and each other.
This is true. When I met my white husband over ten years ago, I was just starting to embrace my natural hair more and he could've cared less that I wore my hair in a fro. He loves me in braids now, but he won't put me down if my edges aren't laid or whatever.
How do they feel about weight? Do they prefer slim or more curvy black women? I know that I’m beautiful. I’m just on the more curvy side.
16:57 it’s because you don’t look ratchet.
I think the black community cares too much abt how we look on the outside. And not who we are on the inside.
We police black women’s hair way way too harshly in the black community. I think it’s important to recognize that this comes from a place of pain. Black people hair is unique from any other races and it’s a very obvious “black identifier” that can have extremely negative repercussions when living in a world that hates blackness and black people…so I think we do it to protect ourselves and our people…it’s like a generationally passed down survival tactic the same way we aggressively make sure our children aren’t ashy and look presentable at all times. We are constantly trying to prove our “cleanliness” and “ presentability”. It’s actually quite sad. Other races get to show up in messy buns, old shirts and yoga pants without being labeled as “unkempt”.
Currently pregnant with a boy and seriously considering letting him grow out his hair with Freeform locs we need to let black women and people be when it comes to hair
someone needs to pin this comment to every comment section ever. you worded this so beautifully and just made an incredible point. more people need to read this
Other races do it too, just more subtly… like white women can tell when their hair is done professionally or at home and it’s a lot more expensive than people realize… if one of my aunts didn’t work at bougie salons, I would’ve never known this and was fortunate to get the hook up when I was 15. I didn’t know how much of a difference products made and the cut and color at higher priced salons make a huge difference to look “Natural” compared to box color… Only white people with actual $ can get away with box dye… I have noticed a huge difference in my adult life how I’m treated by the Caucasian community depending on how I can afford to have my hair atm
I don't necessarily think that it has to do with the yte gaze. Black people literally invented adornment, it is part of our DNA.
Wp can drop their standards as low as they like, but I will never drop mine.
@@djlivvy46wdym we invented adornment?
@@hild-demongoddess7498 - we invented most things, to be honest. Black women existed on this planet long before anybody else.
First time I heard this, I knew it was mean spirited. As someone who has been mostly in relationships with yt men, I always got the "you are just with him because you cant get a black king".
I literally had some silly girl say that on my channel because i'm marrying a WM.😂😂😂 It's really strange that bw and men would act as if bm are super hard to attract. That's literally the default choice for most bw.
And they are absolutely right from how you look
I would say, “I don’t want them”
And I say who told you I wanted a black king? I call them all my brothers lol I can’t date my brothers 😂
@lalitstar2371 with that face in your videos I can guarantee that no black man is looking your way lol
I am SHOCKED by how many people are prejudice to interracial dating these days. I see it the most in the black community- especially to black women dating white men. Usually from black men and women. It’s so sad. 😭
They're soo pressed. I get this on my channel all the time!! Bm whining and the pick me bw getting frustrated.😂
They were fine when it was bm doing it, but they never expected us to start doing it too.
Bm are in crisis because they told us that any woman could make a 'black' baby but they are finding out that the black womb has value after all. And everyone knows who holds the blk community together.
The blk community has always wanted blk women to stay race loyal while the men don’t have to
I very rarely comment but as a black girl who grew up in a predominantly white school with mostly white friends and a middle class white boyfriend this is such an interesting topic to me. I never cared to have the slick back buns with edges everyday, I wore my braids for months (washing in between ofc). Even now, with gaining more black friends in college that adheres to the standards, I’ve never worn a lash set or 50 buss down, I’ve just been me. On top of that I have what most people know as the gothic alt aesthetic, so rarely do the BW that adheres to the standards set on us speak to me (just an observation of mines). My childhood best friend is the same way despite going to a predominantly black school until high school. She never adhered to the standards and didn’t really make friends until she went to high school. All of it is very interesting to ponder about
I have a similar experience, predominately white environment, except I don’t tend to have close relationships with any people. I can be myself and I never felt particularly judged by white or black people, except if the white people are particularly racist but I don’t interact with those. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re an extreme minority in Canada and most of us hail from African or Caribbean households. It also depends if you live in a major city or not. But the black kids are very diverse in personality, of course they tend to gravitate towards their types but there’s lesser amounts of bullying when it comes to self expression. Though I hear stories from my elder siblings but they were more intercultural issues, and the experiences on texturism and stuff only seemed to have happened to my older sisters after they were adults. Trends differ, and American media and aesthetics definitely has a big influence, but the fact that young people don’t have the money for that kind of aesthetic, and most of us were raised on older African aesthetics like box braids or perms, mitigate the effect. I think age, demographic and geographics is a major factor into the experience you have with these kinda things.
I have experienced this as well. I date a very typical dutch man and never wear makeup, put gel or wax in my hair ( it’s honestly pretty messy haha), but he treats me like the most beautiful girl in the world. While i get a lot of backlash from the black community and family for not looking like a well put together black woman. I’ve just learned to deal with it.
I heavily agree with it making fun of black women who don’t go with the flow of the black beauty standard. A lot of time instead of helping with tips, black will rip the girl apart in the comments. Living outside the black women beauty standard should be good, because they are breaking the norm!
there’s so much hatred within our community and we need to fix it instead of worrying about outside factors. we have so much internalized hate yet we look for other communities to love and respect us. we have to love and respect ourselves and each other first. non black people see videos and trends like this and think they can join in on the joke, which is why we’re always getting joked on and disrespected. they don’t see us respecting ourselves first. we need to rebuild our community before we start talking about factors outside of it
That’s definitely a good point on the other people joining in on our jokes. It kinda grinds on my gears sometimes, because I want the shared problems to be talked about, but the internet is a free market. The hyper visibility of any type of “black discord” is unfortunately and invitation for straight up racial abuse from outsiders, because that’s how the world goes. So, many of us recoil and cannot talk through it. It’s no wonder black spaces continually talk in circles about accountability and the same topics, and it doesn’t help that algorithms fuel rage-bait. The discussion of horizontal violence needs to be treaded carefully, and the implications of top-down violence needs to be taken into consideration as well.
I have a friend who’s black and she’s and her sister are adopted by white people. I live in a majority Black Country so most adopted kids are black and it’s not weird.
Anyway, I used to wonder why the black kids adopted by white parents always had such “unkempt hair” according to the black community. I used to think that it was due to the fact that these white parents didn’t really care for their kids BUT as I grow older I noticed that the reason why this would happen is due to the fact that the white community often don’t have to manipulate their hair and lean more into liking the natural as compared to the black community. So my friends were allowed to present themselves as naturally as possible without it being ridiculed by their adoptive family.
I feel like the tiktok girl at 17:55 could be my best friend 😊. She wouldn't hate on me for listening to contemporary piano, she wouldn't shame me for my pronunciation, she would accept that i enjoy kelly clarkson music and despise superlong nails.
Does anyone else get that vibe?
All I got from this (even before you said it at the end) is that a man is going to want you for your authentic self. Men who are attracted to black women are attracted to them for their natural features, that includes their natural hair. I’ve noticed this too when I was actively dating, I would get more compliments whenever I’d wear my hair curly vs straight. But if you prefer wearing your hair in a wig or straightened/relaxed obviously do what makes you feel the most beautiful!
As a light skinned girl who currently has less than an inch of hair on my head THANK YOU for this one. Just finished the video and omg, what you said about being comfortable with my blackness struck a chord with me. I lowkey felt attacked by this trend because while I don’t wear wigs, I do not bother with my edges and I don’t care about slicking my hair down because I simply don’t feel like it. I have very dense 4a hair so sometimes it looks like a rat nest, ngl, but I just walk around and I dare somebody to say something cuz I have better things to be concerned about. I also just happen to be with an Asian man for 5 years now and he does pay for all my stuff. So this one did have me feeling some type of way.
The thing is, from a girl on the “inside” of this trend, I will say I’m not with my boyfriend because of his race or his money (we were both broke college students when we met). I’m with him because he accepts me as I am and I never tried to be something I’m not for him, I’ve never pretended for anyone. My advice is to just be your authentic self, whatever that looks like. The right person will come along for you when the time is right and hopefully they’ll be attracted to the **real you**. I literally didn’t care about having a boyfriend and ended up with an amazing one by doing nothing but being me 🤷🏽♀️. Toni hit the nail on the head with this one.
Exactly!!!!!! I wear “hard wigs” because I honestly don’t care. My hair is the last thing I’m thinking about. I can’t with the Black levels of hygiene, beauty, and perfection. The criticism is wack and these are mean girls. Let’s not let mean girls define Black girls.
I can't believe how people think. We are doomed for the future.
The verses and affirmations are always refreshing...thank you.
I am so glad you like them, I absolutely love searching for them to put in the videos 💗
A lot of this is about internet confirmation bias. I see a broad range among black women who date outside of their race irl. I’ve seen the “crunchy wig” types but I’ve seen girls with ‘fros, girls with braids and locks, and girls with pressed out hair. I also want to be wary of this over-romanticizing of white men that’s been prevalent the last few years in black women spaces. A lot of us are basing this on social media influencers and rhetoric implying dating someone white automatically equates to a healthy relationship or being taken care of and that is not necessarily true. Date who you want, but don’t date another race because you think they will be superior because they are not black. Also, I wouldn’t assume that the black women in these situations are authentically themselves. Often black women and black people in general have to give up a lot to exist in white spaces. They may not strictly adhere to black beauty trends, but they are also having to conform to other cultural norms that may not be normal for them to be acceptable in white environments.
Damn only speaking facts 💯 what ive been pondering but didn’t know how to word, thanks for the contribution.
Yes 💯%
Black women are accepting dating out now because they realize they’ve been so loyal to men who hate them
These are old fears the community constantly says like a broken record
@@tiredoftheworld4834 Nope, based on first hand experience.
I'm 63 years old and have been married to my husband, ( white,) since I was 58. We met when he visited our church. I wasn't wearing a hard wig, but I did wear a ponytail because I work out a lot. It's just easier to wear it that way. As one becomes older, choices become slimmer. At the age I was when I met my husband, all the good black men were already married. In addition, for whatever reason I wasn't attracting any divorced black men. I wanted to get remarried though, so I was over worrying about race. My now husband pursued me, ponytail and all. It just so happened that he had recently inherited quite a bit of money and was looking for a WIFE, period. And there I was. Now that we're married, I have many wigs. 😂😅 After I come from the gym and want to get myself together, I'll put one on. My husband doesn't give a damn about my hair. However I wear it, he isn't tripping about perfection. He loves me however I am. Fat, skinny, makeup on, makeup off, whatever. I don't have to be perfect for him. That's what love is about, acceptance; whether your wig/hair looks right or not.
I'm that hard wig woman. When I'm around YT men or mostly men that aren't black,... doors are opened literally for me, compliments are given about how nice I look, these men rush to cater and take care of things or fix things with NOTHING expected in return. Its refreshing, there is no blatant lust in their eyes, just awe and adoration. If there is flirting, it's things that are said that I don't feel uncomfortable with my own mother hearing and it's actually happened with her there on several occasions. Mind you, I'm a semi plus size woman, with thickness that most BM say shouldn't be respected or is unhealthy. They make being a woman effortless, they treat you like porcelain and I find, naturally my femininity is most organic around them because they make you want to be in every way a lady. You feel acknowledged and safe and there is no arguing about getting an apology from them, especially the YT guys because they rather give in and keep you and willing to see it from your perspective than lose your attentions. Also being friends with the women are just as equally interesting and engaging and they comfortably interact without making you prove you are worthy to talk or not talk to them like some bw do. They may see your hair and compliment or not and it's just organic interaction.
I don't think bw are any more desperate to be loved any more than anyone other group of women. I will say we are tired of being considered as the one group that doesn't need love, that self reliant, I don't need any man came from all the abuse and neglect and lack of empathy from BM. It's like they purposefully do it because someone hurt them and now all bw must pay! There is always a feeling of somebody wanting to check your black card or see if you measure up to their standards and when you aren't the black conformist, they can tell and immediately shun you and for a group who constantly speaks against other groups being racist and bias towards them, they are the biggest judges of their own! It's natural human instinct to go where you are embraced for what you like and who you are. People who like boats, join boat clubs and that's the same way for bikers and car nerds. You wouldn't see them join a Yahtzee club or gambling ring. BW are just going where they feel the most organic and accepted. This dedicated to your own crap is played out and suppressing. Who wants to live their whole life and pray you find that one man who doesn't cheat, respects you, understands how to make money grow and treats you as the most wonderful thing & isn't down low!? Life is too short for all that nonsense. Getting worn and God is tired of you down on your knees every night begging him to help Tyrone be a better man or for you to actually meet some respectful women to be friends with instead of the money leeches who are jealous of your good job and new home/apt or intimidated about how you are always happy and carefree instead of humbling themselves to try and follow your footsteps in how to find their own true happiness . Stop trying to look like what they say is good enough and marry who they deem is the "blackest" of brothers and go be where you can really BE! Be happy, be whole, be loved, be celebrated, be congratulated, be silly, be funny, be goofy, be spiritual, be relaxed, be authentic, be comforted, be totally vulnerable and in love babygirl! Yes go be where you can BE. Forget this messy mean girl antics and fake hierarchy.
So I will wear my wigs and I will do my best to look they way I deem looks good and not the newest black trend, my edges will stay flowing in the wind, no gel, in all their spiral 4c glory.
After dating men of every race over the years, my husband & the father of our 2 sons has been accepting of me from the jump, and even helps me take my weave out 🤣 Whether my hair is in its shrunken state, braids, headband wig during pregnancy, etc. there was never any pressure to do or be anything I'm not. Race didn't affect my decision to be with him, and he'd say the same...it just so happens that he's not black
WMBW couples are so rare that it’s quite dumb to try to make generalized statements.
It is rare but its becoming more regular.
It’s not rare and I’ve majorly seen WM with the darkest natural hair wearing woman whether the woman is slim, thick etc. blk women chasing straight hair is hilarious
@@BlkOnyx0508 that's so true omgg!
@@BlkOnyx0508are white men more attracted to natural hair??
13:32 This woman just seems like she's living like a princess, and I just kind of adore how she has a man who seems to be really into her and does all these things for her.
You fit the black woman beauty standards
She’s beautiful
We all do ❤
@@AlejandroSovsa we definitely all don't.
@AlejandroSovsa No.
@@PrincessYonna1Yes, she is.
I’m 23, grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. In my opinion white men like the “effortless look”. If you look like you spend hours getting ready in the morning that’s kind of the opposite of the beauty standard. That’s why the “hard wig” is so attractive to them because it looks more natural. And before anyone comes for me I am currently in a relationship with a black man and living the softest and most beautiful life I could ask for❤️
That’s not true, there are white woman who wear tons of makeup and have extensions and they date white men.
@@thatgirlbrinna7927 I said my opinion but go off
Hard wigs absolutely does not look natural. In fact most wigs do not look natural, including the laid ones that take hours to do. The natural hair on bw is what actually looks natural and what wm are most attracted to. I say this as someone who is marrying a well off wm and wears my natural hair. My sister also married a very wealthy wm and wears her natural hair. A laid wig is never as natural as actual natural hair.
@@tessy28 WE know that… but they don’t
yes girl next door looks
4:45 This TikTok bothers me way more than it should because it's not just the hard wig, it's the whole look (heavy blush, red lipstick, cleavage, the hands-on-hips pose)... that are all things I've been doing since I was a teenager. I'm convinced that the point is just bullying awkward black girls.
I hate the perpetual perpetuated idea that blk women who date out in comparison to how we are least likely to, is “because” we “aren’t as connected to our blk roots”. I’m sick of hearing that. I crushed on that Hispanic boy in elementary school bc he was cute as heck. Not because of racial blk politics and “lack of” compatibility with fiting into the small definition of “blackness” my parents are from Africa. And the American definition of blackness doesn’t have much to do with the African ancestry or culture. Just basketball, football, rap/r&b, etc. I find that weird and annoying. By default the African American community never saw me as “black enough” which is funny bc I have African parents and culture surround me and grew up in, yes a predominantly whyte environment - but one that was fairly mixed in with Hispanics of different races, Caribbean, Asian, African American, and African kids. I found that blk kids, as they grew older and had small minded definitions of “blkness” pushed onto them, started to hate more and more on blk kids who didn’t fit into those made up definitions. I was one of those. I didn’t fit into speaking a certain type of way, listening to only 2 blk genres of music, and playing a select few sports so I started to fit in less and less with them. Doesn’t mean I hated them, but it was hard bc they didn’t think I should be interested with different activities, etc.
It’s also interesting how it’s normal for other demographics - even blk men to step out with little over analysis as to why, but as blk women, people have a hard time believing we can be attracted to, and are attractive to any other type of person. My darkskinned Indian friend liked a Korean boy and I never scolded her like many blk ppl would do to me for liking someone of another race and culture.
This topic is so interesting. I remember a different creator talking about the different men she attracts depending on her hairstyle. When it came to an old wig, she said it attracted older men usually, but not white men necessarily. I never really thought about it, but I found it interesting. The whole hair thing in general can be exhausting. The need to get picked has really ruined people. Nothing a pick me hates more than someone who gets picked despite not performing to certain standards they feel are needed to be picked. It is sad and hilarious. This 20:48! Learning this early in life is so beneficial to anyone's well-being. Also, this 20:25.
I don't think this is just about getting picked by men though. We receive a constant flow of comments from our own families, other relatives, work colleagues, church members and any random blk person who all seem to feel free to tell us what we should be doing with our hair.
These comments can be extremely hurtful, especially when we are young.
I hate that blk ppl question your blackness if anything you should be one of the faces of the black community because you are excellent. ❤
I think this theory is also connected to the “white men appreciate natural black hair” as well. White men tend to go for black women who don’t feel like they have to adhere to the white beauty standards. If u wanted to be with a white women with straight hair then that’s what he would go for 🤷🏽♀️
Speaking about “soft life” could you do a video about how being in your “soft girl era” is trending a lot right now? I feel like that’s just women wanting to live their life like an influencer…🤷🏽♀️ go to the gym, go to target, do “clean girl makeup”, make salmon and white rice for dinner, etc. 😂 like let’s stop labeling things that don’t need it. Like people saying “mocha brownie lip” it’s just brown lip liner and clear gloss…cmon now
Anybody can go to the gym, target, and wear light makeup. That doesn’t mean they’re trying to be like an influencer
No let’s stop trying to tell ppl what to do. If they want to label something in THIER life they literally have every right.
👏🏾👏🏾😂😂 yes on the cmon now!!!
That's precisely the point though. Black women need labels and movements because the conditioning in our community is so heavy and hard to break.
The backlash against the black women in luxury movement is proof of the amount of effort that goes into keeping black women in a mental cage.
People putting too much thought on this nonsense. Too much time on their hands 😅
This!
This topic is so intriguing to me
The sound is working fine, you look beautiful btw
Thank you for verifying and you’re so sweet🥹💗
Great content. I totally agree with the sentiment that the hard wig girls are comfortable in their black features and natural hair. Men tend to be attracted to confident women.
There is also the fact that confident men do not involve themselves in the beauty practices of women.
I grew up a “Cosby” kid. IE 2 college educated parent household in the suburbs, went it a Intergrated college and dated white European guys in college. When I got serious about getting married I dated good black men exclusively and was single for 20+yrs. My auntie, who marched and did sit ins in the 60’s said to a group of single black women, including me, “Y’all single waiting on black men to marry you. Start dating outside your race because it’s not gonna happen if you keep on with brothers”. She’s married to a black man and her son married a black woman but I decided to keep an open mind. I met a wonderful man from Australia and we’ve been married for 10yrs. He’s not rich and I don’t wear a wig but he likes me for me and vice versa. We need to stop thinking of marrying a black man as a prize because it’s holding many of us back from finding companionship.
I’m a White man who likes all women including Black women! We like our women natural and happy! Save the wig for someone who doesn’t have any hair. We love you for who you are not some made up persona or image. The last thing I want is a woman who is constantly observing about her hair limiting us of where we can go and what we can do! If we love you as a black women and many of us do then we love you for who you are. We want the real deal so don’t hide your natural beauty let us enjoy it!
I think it's about signalling. the same way you can look at certain ww and tell they ONLY date bm ie: urban clothing, super long nails, certain hairstyles and if that ww is a certain size that signals to bm subconsciously that I'm "available/open to dating bm" the same way when a bw doesn't have a big butt, is slim, brown-dark skinned, talks a certain way......that signals to wm that they're open to dating wm. I had a wm say that he doesn't like the " love n hip hop" aesthetic because he can't bring that woman around his friends and family. things that wm hate in women, black males LOVE and things bm hate in women wm LOVE.
You made a lot of good points here.
But should we be letting white men (or any man really) dictate how we look? It’s giving “you have to be a certain acceptable form of blackness that me and my white friends/family approve of” for me to date you.
@@pisceanbeauty2503ya. They're just more easy going. The 30in buss down woman is usually rrude
Girllllll I feel this!! So tired of seeing dating conversations lol I scroll/swipe right on by 😂 (minus this)
As a black women married to a white man that is criticized by family strangers and friends alike for my family, I love this❤ you a real one Toni
This was the video I needed !! You’ve done it once again girl! 🤍🤍🤍
Thank you so much!!!🥹
11:50 but is it that deep?😂😂 like damn just because her wig is crooked and chad likes it, that means she’s gonna get taken advantage of? lol
12:43 I agree that chads just assume you’re less maintenance if you walk around with your hair looking crazy😂
It’s rare to find a Christian that shares Christianity that isn’t toxic or pushy. You brighten my day, and I love your quotes and verses
We get drowned out by the crazies, scammers, pulpit pimps and religious psycho freaks. I promise we just mind our business, live righteously and love everyone.
@@lauren6509 I’m a Christian, and I understand not all are like that, but most Christian’s on the internet are narcs and toxics 🤣
Wow! The scrutiny on this lady's wig is crazy. I saw that video some time ago and while I find the color of the wig a bit distracting, the overall look of the lady is cute, and I like her personality. I think that's how men work, they aren't caring about edges because their lady is having fun and so he's having fun. My hair is natural and sometimes my fro is wild looking. When I wear wigs I pop it ok. My white husband doesn't care. I think only wig enthusiasts care about this and people that care a lot about what people think. I care what people think sometimes, but I don't let it dictate my life. I got things to do😅
This was really enlightening. I was confused as to what a “hard wig” was when these videos started appearing on my feed 😂
I can not believe this is a video topic and I’m here for it 😂❤
With the white girls have more fun on trips is true in my opinion because when I went to a camp we got to go to a water fall and they said whoever can stay under it the longest gets an extra ice cream scoop but I couldn’t do it because I had locs in my hair…it’s kinda sad but I’m used to it now 💀
This was an excellent breakdown ❤
i just start watching but i have to pause and come here to say i love your dress in this video! and you always present yourself so graceful and elegant, just like how you maneuver your content 🤍 love it!!
You addressed this so well! 🫰🫰🫰
I've seen where they like it more when we have braids. My crush even told me he missed when I had braids(in school when I was starting perming). Some like it when you don't have natural hair
Amazing video as always❣
I’m natural 90% of the time and wear a headband wig that costs $20 from Amazon to get fancy from time to time. So I may not be the best judge in this case 😂😂
Great video! I’d say you do fit black female beauty standards, you’re just more refined and not aligned with hip hop culture.
I am a black woman who was called weird growing up for having interests that didn’t align with the black collective. I enjoyed anime and alternative music before it was “cool” and “acceptable” for black people, especially women to enjoy these things. I was also called white for speaking well with limited slang words, and not being concerned about my hair. Always had black girls asking me “when I was going to do my hair?” And they were very critical of my awkward dress sense and hairstyles, however, I’ve always been very curvy (very big booty), so always attracted black men who hypersexualised me but found my lack of care for “black female beauty standards” hard to deal with or at least would attempt to encourage me to align myself with them. I’m a care free black woman and I wear that proudly. I also like being around other care free black women who don’t identify so heavily with their hair especially, but where I live they’re hard to find and unfortunately, I don’t gel well with women who aren’t care free in that regard as they will always find me weird and I will always find them rigid. I presume men, regardless of race, will feel similarly, but especially white men who enjoy more adventurous activities. I used to find the stereotype funny, but I do now think the mockery is rooted in envy and frustration around unsuccessfully dating black men and seeing black women they believe to be lesser attractive than them, be rewarded with a comfortable relationship and lifestyle.
They hating cause they tend to like more afro features. they also love natural hair but nobody talking about that
Loved the quote& hair is laiddddd
I love this conversation and you put your point about not adhering to “black” beauty standards so well. Thank you!
I think it’s generational, some people are accustomed to the melted in lace, others have grown up with extensions and tape ins, and back in the day….well who tf knows 😂 I do think men are influenced by the women they’ve been around growing up. Not who they’ve dated. I don’t know if that makes sense. If your wig isn’t as snatched or the same as their mothers or sisters they’re gonna find it weird. Tell me I’m wrong
Fact! That’s something I’ve noticed!
This is such an interesting video. Thank you!
I love when you speak on topics that have been circulating the internet because you always bring refreshing and thought provoking takes! It was jarring hearing how dating outside your race can be emblematic of a disconnect with the black community but it's so true. Whether it is by choice, being ousted or simply not in proximity to the black community, there's is a sense of internal otherness that begins to flourish. I wish more folks questioned the source of that otherness instead of putting black women down for trying to find a space for themselves.
Honestly I feel like I've spent my entire life trying to be accepted by black people, despite being raised and surrounded entirely by black people from 0-15. To be told that you're "acting white" or "not black enough" sucks. To experience racism and harm from yt people to only be told you're yt by you peers is a genuine mindfuck, lol. I've never dated a black person and I think a lot of that was just a fuck you to my community. Like fine if y'all don't want to fuck with me, I'll just find someone who will. But years of operating in that energy and in those spaces is so exhausting and extremely isolating.
I think the laid wig/hard wig conversation is so interesting too because at one point, wearing ur hair natural had the same implication as a hard wig. Somehow that energy changed and the girlies who couldn't prove their blackness with laid edges could prove it with that natural hair. There is more than one way to be a black women!!! 😭😭
I wish we would stop punishing black women for being individuals lmao.
22:56 FREE WOMEN 😂 I hate opening TT & seeing all these how to get a man commentary.
I didn’t think the trend all the way through, there were great talking points!
I was confused when people said they were taking out box braids after 1-2 months
I love black hair, I get so jealous of the hairstyles possible. I have 1 haircut that looks good on me. I can't imagine literally doing anything I want with it. And yall have the best hair thickening oils.
Toni I love your goofiness girl 💜😂. Love your vids!!!
This is… interesting. I’m definitely a “mediocre black woman”. Emphasis on the ‘ocre’ bc I look like an ogre first thing in the morning. 😂
All jokes aside, I’m very average. I don’t know how else to put it. 🤷🏽♀️ I wear minimal makeup & shop wherever has cute items plus a good deal. I do lots of hairstyles. I make sure my hair looks good but it’s not that $700 wig install look. I wear my natural hair, or straightened (like I have it now), wigs, braids, twists. I accessorize minimally with usually costume jewelry. I look put together but never ✨extra✨I certainly care about my appearance & keep up with it but I’ve never cared so much that it consumes my life. I will never achieve the instagram baddie look, nor do I want to. I’m 25 & have only recently started trying out this dating stuff. It ain’t fun so far lol but it’s primarily white men who I get attention from & it’s also primarily white men who I’m attracted to. After watching this video I’m just like… hmm 🤨 If there’s truth to this, am I really that crispy crunchy crusty dusty??!? 👀😂
The joke is more so a white man wont tell you that you’re out here looking crazy. Like the saying “you can tell they don’t have black friends”. When you’re around other black people we will tell you hey that doesn’t look the best on you maybe try this. Do what works for you. It’s just sometimes you can tell who might be in an interracial relationship. Personally my husband is not letting me leave the house in a crunchy wig or at least he will tell me 😂
And just because you date a white mean does not mean you’re going to have a soft life
Because it doesn't "look crazy" to white men, only to hair-obsessed, misguided Black people.
So many good points in this video. I'm glad I'm married to a black man who values my natural hair and beauty over any external or artificial thing I could ever put on. He loves it when I'm authentically myself - flaws and all. I definitely won the lottery and I wish this for more black women.
As someone who often presents in a more alternative way, I often don’t feel that safe in black spaces that I‘m not used to. It’s the disses and questioning of my blackness, it’s the pointing out of every little little detail about me, the way I speak the way I dress and especially the way my hair looks. It comes from everyone the church friend, the auntie, the boy you just met. If I mention in a conversation that I have a boyfriend it’s assumed that he’s white. He is but why is it assumed and why is that a reason to make fun of me? It’s also always assumed that I hate myself or black people in general if it couldn’t be further from the truth. My boyfriend is white because it happened to be the case. I liked him, he liked me it’s that easy. If you don’t fit within the confinement of the „appropriate“ black womanhood black man won’t find you attractive and tell you that straight up into your face (if they kind,lol) so I often found myself changing my core self, whenever I dated a black man, because I was tired with those Oreo allegations or I met that person on gatherings where I would fit more into that mold to avoid arguments with my mother. If you not presenting like we expect you to black people can be really vile. And it’s not even just an American thing, I‘m German no matter where you at black people fosho gonna tell you how you should look and live your life.
they’re attracted to fake lashes and fake hair. is it possibly bc of having the appearance of status? my white bf loves my natural features and inspired me to take care of my curls
also they find the fact that i don’t like rap esp modern rappers unattractive. sorry i think that kind of music degrades wmn 🤷🏽♀️
@@lure7812 I‘m glad you found someone who values the real you. 🫶🏾
@@lure7812 I‘m a huge rap fan, but if you look at my socials it would be drowned in anime, manga and kpop. It was always a big part of my life and the online communities are way more fun to interact with, so again people make the assumption that I hate myself and wanna be Asian so bad.
Can u talk about the down fall of "The Boss Girl"
The conversation of hard wigs is wild and really shows who’s bothered. Let me say this I’m 27, I’ve been into white guys since I was 5. I’ve had the black community “try” to degrade me for being me but I didn’t care when I was a kid and I don’t care as an adult. You like who you like and no one is going to pressure or bully me into something I don’t regardless of what it is. I think for myself. With that being said white men have always respected my independent mindset, they try to understand the socioeconomics that I teach them within our community and try to help elevate me. As far as my hair they really don’t care, but they love our natural hair, they see it as a cloud and are so fascinated and ask me to wear it out more often and are proud when I walk around showing off my natural beauty. That’s basically what it is. They like natural and simple and just want to have fun and spoil the woman that they’re with. Many of them have an appreciation of black womens work ethic too and that’s why they’re also willing to spend more on us because they know we work hard and already face adversity when we are brought into this earth. They encourage me to be authentic and be free, if I’m happy they’re happy. So I say this. It’s all really simple, obviously it’s not all white guys who are like this but a lot of them are. Date whoever you want, date whoever wants you to be you, date to be happy. Be yourself and don’t care about what others think of you because they’re not even a snippet of your life. Have a good one everyone.
Having to educate your nonblack partner sounds draining. I would rather get with a black man that already understands.
@@lachell257 It's really not draining at all because it's about the character of the man not his skin colour and let's be real many bw get with bm that still treat them very very badly anyway so clearly they didn't understand them at all depsite being the same "colour".
@@lachell257 blk men are colorist, featurist, and texturist as heck. Shall I say more. My own uncle who is married to a white hispanic woman and IS AFRICAN!!! Looked and ran his hands through my hair like he’s never touched black hair in his life!!!! I was shocked!
@@lachell257 if you had a partner from Greece wouldn’t you want to potentially learn the language or ask about his culture? Or Ghana???
It seems like the ones judging them the most are other black women, white women do it too. We women are hard on eachother! This was a really interesting take, I had not heard this phrase yet😅 I think white men also aren’t going to notice what a wig “should” look like, or the varying degrees of perfection. I know mine wouldn’t hahaha but I love how you dove into the cultural and psychological connections, so interesting. Great video!😍
Love the fact the word comes before a word from our sponsor
Love the fact you shed light on how problematic this all is
I notice that as my life has gotten softer over the years, I get stressed out and depressed more easily over little things like being late or losing something or seeing things out of place when I get home. A little stress is healthy for our survival. Yes it's true though, I never do my hair and WM hit on me all day long lol
I’m listening but that BLUSH👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
As a white women who grew up in a small community that was all black except me & the Hispanic family across the street. I can say I have seen girls get bullied for having their hair not done. I have curly hair myself with a mom who didn't know how to do hair besides put it up or let it sit down. I also got bullied, I remember getting beat up at 6 year olds by other 6 year olds. Then my older brother told me to just hit them hard back & you'll be fine. So I finally hit the girl back & pulled her weave out screaming about whose hair looks bad down.
I ended up getting highly accepted for fighting. My best friend from 4th grade ended up seeing me do that & I guess she always wanted to be my friend. Found out she was mixed, her mom looked more like me & she got made fun of for the same things as me alongside not feeling like belonging to any race. Colorism was the worst for her cause she was too light (she was way darker than me though). Anyways we ended carrying each other to now, almost 11 years later. She ended up having a white boyfriend & they just got engaged which weirdly made sense. Considering her father dropped her off at my house with a bike handle bar lodged into her stomach while she was puking stomach bile & blood. So she definitely had some healing to do with her black side & I felt awful for her. It was easier for me being white in this community cause my mom was absolutely batshit shooting mice in trees & holding a dagger to a guys throat when trying to break in securing our home. Mixed with my brother & I ready to kill anyone for our other siblings (I was living with 5 of my 7 siblings). I remember some kid threw my little sister into a chair & I just hurt him. It really made me aggressive, but I was able to protect my best friend who struggled herself more. Being hated by both sides.
Anyways my point is I have seen black people be so harsh to each other as young as second grade over looks. Which had led to others feeling left out of they didn't fit that standard. Definitely couldn't imagine having to live up to that daily
Damm this whole paragraph was active. Your childhood sounds crazy as hell.
@@tessy28 it calmed down once I got into high school but yeah
"Oh shoot, that kinda rhymed!"😂 Toni you are a cute, love you girl😘