Why Dating SUCKS in 2023 | (social media, attention seeking, cheating)
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- čas přidán 24. 05. 2023
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The common experience for people dating these days is how bad it is and how hard it is to find a partner. In this video, we will be breaking down why dating culture is so toxic today.
S O C I A L M E D I A:
INSTAGRAM: tonibryannetv
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M E D I A/B U S I N E S S I N Q U I R I E S: toni.bryannetv@thestation.io - Zábava
As a 20 year old, my dating experience has been completely ruined based off of the fact that nobody ‘dates’ anymore, all people care about is sex and I’m not offering that whatsoever 💀
Girl I am in the same boat, literally no one wants anything serious anymore. 🙄
I’m letting you know right now as a 25 year old, there is so much that I have learned within these last few years since I was 20 and the BEST thing that I’ve done was to NOT sleep around with these guys. Always know your value, your worth, and remind yourself everyday how special, beautiful,and important you are. Take the time to experience life, learn yourself, have fun with friends, and travel. Be the best you that you can be and eventually God will bless you with the right person. ❤️
@@rainbowchild550 I'm trying to do what you just said but I doubt and feel lonely so I have sex with this guys because I don't have friends to hangout with
That’s the problem with dating culture, especially in major cities. At least you know your worth and boundaries👍🏾!
@@rainbowchild550 way ahead of you queen 😌
I think people confuse options with access. Because we have more access to people, people think they have more options when that is not necessarily true. Access doesn’t make them an option
True
You kept it a 💯
Fr
Imagine having NO access at all. That’s the reality of most men. You may not the OPTION of a ball player or celebrity, but you have ACCESS. You have OPPORTUNITY. Most men have NOTHING.
So what? Comparing situations won't get u shit our access to men doesn't Mean it's smth good those men many of them are abusive, stalkers... Like don't compare the two situations it's unfair on both men have it hard to be picked and women put their lifes at risk and have a constant danger that picking a men is so risky and hard
Dating nowadays be like woah woah woah let’s have sex first before we get to know each other! 😂💀 I swear people can act like wild p*rnstars with each other but if you talk about feelings and emotions, that’s crossing the line! Yikes! 😬
Also thanks for the shoutout girl! I really love your content ❤
My past 1st bf literally was expecting me to have sex with him on the 1st date. A person who does that is a whore. How you have sex with a person you don't know at all..??
Yes they would be like girl slow down you are getting to attached to fast this is going to fast yet have no problem jumping with you in bed within seconds of meeting you and that is not moving to fast….they want the sex without any commitment…
People just don’t wanna know each other. It’s always their love interest to be turned off or on. We all can’t satisfy people anymore.
If you didn't Entertain 10 dudes on apps, and actually focused on one person, maybe they could wait. Reality is women entertain all their options, constantly... and they're always looking to monkey branch for better.. The internet only made you girls x100 more delusional than you were before.
It makes no sense how people want to have sex before they get to know each other. Like patience pays off, if you get to know me first and not pressure me for sex, then you might actually get sex. Like slow down.
Moral of the story is social media ruins everything 💀
And it just will be much worse.
true
People ruined social media.
@@VoidByDarkness you know what you’re right about that
I think some people get into relationships instead of seeking therapy
Yeah because the dating pool has a lot of broken and toxic people in it when in reality these types of people should be first in line for therapy
You speaking to the choir 🙏
That’s the new trend, unfortunately.
*Most people
THIS. Dating sucks nowadays. Everybody psycho. I thought maybe it was something within me that attracts these types. But it’s genuinely society as whole.
People are so emotionally unavailable today. It’s hard as someone who is very emotionally available and I have a deep understanding of who I am. I can’t deal with the games and mixed feelings. I can’t get physical with someone who doesn’t make me feel safe emotionally.
Agreed
Dating is over
@@koban4max I would say it's transitioning. Dating needs to go back to real life and leave the online world behind. There is no genuine connection through DMs or through apps. We need to meet, to talk and feel a person's energy
This! When I was in my 20's, early 30's, I could sometimes separate love from sex. I now cringe when admitting this, but I had a few moments when I woke up the next morning and would literally grab my shit and sprint out, or if we somehow ended up at my house, I would actually worry about sounding mean when asking him to leave, thinking that I hurt his feelings. Turns out that men didn't worry about hurting my feelings like I did theirs. Now that I'm older and my oldest son is focusing on his life and my youngest son is going to graduate in two years, the very thought of letting a complete stranger into my life for a night and waking up the next day feeling uncomfortable in my own space is terrifying to me and I'm certainly not going to a man's house I just met because y'all would probably be seeing my remains on the evening news because he turned out to be a closeted serial killer.
Literally! Like, I just wanna love someone, yet here we are
Shit even R&B ain’t about love anymore😂😂😂
Fr
you get so prettier everyday
Love this comment. I need a makeup and skin routine ASAP.
Toni reminds me of Ashley Banks
@@bellesmith789RIGHT
The people who are shaming others for being single are not in a better position.
Misery loves company
W.
Can we talk about also how social media has made people hang on to their EX'S! Nobody in this day and age moves on from their ex or is constantly doubling back bc they have their EX on social media and even after the relationship is over they are STILL watching each other's every move!
This
They can never get over them cos they keep seeing them on social media lol even after blocking
SM didn't do that. That person did that. Odds are that person literally listened to SM. Alot of ppl are sooooo used to being with there ex. that don't wanna leave their side. Which is sad to me. They could find someone better, yet the choose to stay with their ex. The excuses they make are soooooo dumb. I'm always like do these ppl, actually know what they're doing to themselves..?? They're portraying themselves literally as dummies & idiots who don't know right/wrong. I don't believe, they literally think about that..!! Its basically like they're obsessed with them. Or something..!! It's crazy.
@@dashiajames1882 exactly idk what she’s talking about lol, those people are weak and obsessed with with them
@candystorm2147 how I literally said social media has given people easy access to there EX and to obsess over them.
Three weeks ago a guy started messaging me. But then after like 2 weeks he ghosted me but I still saw him like everyday at school 💀I hate dating culture and I’m glad I’m graduating 😔
Awww I’m so sorry that happened to you🥺 ghosting is SUPER messed up, but just know he’s just helping you get closer to finding the one
@@ToniBryanneTVahh thank u!! 🥰
That’s so awkward that it was a guy you see often 💀 like why would he do that knowing he’s going to see you lol
He probably only wanted sex. U dodged a bullet. Be happy you didn’t fall for his scam.
@@aayra19idk and I’m friends with his friends too. Idk what his thought process was 🥴
Not sure if mention this later in the video but a major problem with hookup culture is it reduces people to just their bodies and what personal sexual gratification you can instantly get out of someone which perpetuates this cycle of over prioritising sex in society
I think sex is fine, but the issue is people are connecting getting a lot of sexual partners to their value as an individual. A person can have sex with you and still not like you. 😅
@@imanigordon6803 of course sex is fine but only if both parties are open and honest about their expectations especially ongoing if they continue to hookup more
The dating scene becomes very discouraging that a lot of people who wanted genuine connections/relationships at first give up and feed into hookup culture
thissssss💯
Yeap , I gave up .... Selling my house that I dreamt of having a family with but Huns don't want this. They just want asswholes for hookup culture. So you know what ima do
me. sorry
For a long time, I felt terrible for not dating because I see all girls do that. After seeing what the girls are going through, I never felt happier than being single and not talking to guys.
Same here
Like attracts like.
They warrant those relationships.
Serious question: can anyone here attest to the collective of their circle of friends expecting 5 star restaurants, lavish gifts, and luxury vacations from men? I feel like that’s what gets promoted the most on social media and then suddenly it’s “all women” this and “most women/modern women” that. I hate that the high expectations of a few get overly highlighted and the men who want those ig models and can’t get them take their frustration out on the average women painting us all with a broad stroke. Idk any women who have these ridiculous expectations of men but somehow we get blamed for their inability to get those women who are out of their league.
Totally agree. I don't even have one single female friend who wants that or has ever asked for it.
Yes, I can attest.. my friends who do well physically and financially have always had high expectations lol but obtainable for the tax bracket
That is their way to get you NOT to expect anything from them…guilt trip you for things you haven’t done and I bet you if they had the opportunity to have one of those ig models they wouldn’t mind spending on them….
Average women don’t ask for those things. When guys talk about women wanting fancy stuff they are talking about the instagram models that they want. They are mad that the insta models won’t lower their standards for them. These types of men are not interested in average women and most of them will remain that way until they’re like 45-50, at which point they’ll come back around to average women for a caretaker.
@@karenmassey8354😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is comical
Hook up culture disproportionately benefits men more. As someone who is not american I find it exhausting and messed up to hear you guys sleep with men on the third date( I don't know what you do, but that's how long I hear women making men wait for, three dates) while for you dating isn't equal to a relationship. In Europe and especially in Eastern Europe it's very common to expect the guy to commit right away in the talking phase, you are in a relationship when you kiss, small romantic gestures like chocolate and flowers are a must, but sex is always on the terms of the woman especially because you don't know this man and men lie 😅, like I am sorry, I could never sleep with a man without seeing how he treats his mother, sisters, women who are strangers and especially kids and animals, would he step up to defend a woman, a child, an animal, stuff like that. It's not that sex is bad, but some men are definetly bad to have sex with.
Where in Europe are you from? I am European too and it‘s defintely not the way you described it,; in my area it‘s like in the US
very true
true
Making us wait for even three days is the anomaly.
But yes it definitely benefits us a lot.
So you wouldn't ask the guy to get tested first? Your priorities are all wrong
I never understood why women think that given themselves up with out any form of commitment is “liberating”
But what if a woman wants to have a one night stand without any commitment ?
@@OusemiHsf what would a one night stand really fulfill for a woman especially when in reality women want to be loved chased and admired by one man…and that leads to a relationship marriage and possibly a family…which is not only better for said woman but for society when they start to build said family..and if it’s just to bust a quick nut there’s other ways you can do so other than giving yourself to someone who could care less about you as a person.
@@OusemiHsfwomen who desire sex without commitment are typically broken.
@@OusemiHsfit could just simply be sex idk why it has to be liberating
As someone who has never had a relationship before I truly feel like I’ll never have one in my life because of how everyone fucked it up. It’s not valued anymore. It’s not sacred or respectful anymore. So now those of us who never had a relationship and went something real and genuine will never get it. Thanks.
people are so genuinely appalling! I remember back in November - talking to someone, and eventually you could see he was in so many other women’s comments, pictures, profiles, sending us all the same “sweet” things. It was disgusting
I don’t know if young women have realized this yet, but most of the guys on those podcasts and social media pages don’t like women. Period. It’s not worth dealing with the headaches, potential diseases, and potential single motherhood that those guy’s followers will bestow upon you. Understand it is NOT worth it.
Yep. I'm 37 and I tapped out of the world of dating at 28. Heterosexual relationships feel like an act of charity that women get close to nothing out of. They're nothing but STD/pregnancy/abuse risks.
Actually, the men on these podcasts don't like feminists and boss b*tch women that many western women have become today. I'll admit that they take it too far with saying egregious things like men are allowed to cheat and women aren't as well as promoting promiscuity amongst their follower but condemning it in women. But there are some legitimate issues brought up by the men's movement that need to be addressed. Otherwise, expect the gender divide to widen.
I can't believe that there are men advocating that a women should endure an abusive relationship... That's CRAZY. If you are in an abusive relationship please get out while you are still alive! By all means, get out of that relationship.
Yes! That whole conversation was so gross to me. Telling the woman to "ENDURE" is awful and I wanted to reach through my screen and punch the guys saying that abuse is not a deal breaker. My gosh and then they act so offended if the woman cheats on them but they will tolerate a man hurting his wife? Yuck.
Those are males, not real men.
Depends on what they mean by abusive. Beating her, always putting her down, etc. sure. But having a respectful argument over legitimate issues, not abuse. Not dismissing legitimate abuse, but there are a lot of cases where the woman will use the word abuse so she can win custody of kids or justify her own bad behavior when the man criticizes her.
This whole hook up culture may mean the spread of more STD's. I have no interest in that culture and I love my life too much to let any ninja put my health at risk. I'm soo glad I have my fingers I can satisfy myself.🌝
this! idk why more ppl dont bring this part up.. too many people passing stuff on without even realizing it
It just seems like there’s so many rules these days tbh. You gotta have this, gotta make this, gotta do this. Like…
Fr can I just find someone that I genuinely connect with on a spiritual level
You can say that again! And by the time you have accomplished EVERYTHING on the list guess what? They will say you are to old now…
THANK YOU, I don't feel crazy when I say this because it feels like there's always some type of guideline that you have to follow like oh "don't text back too fast or you'll look thirsty" or " don't tell them too much about yourself" ( which I understand to an extent, of course), or shit like "don't show you're emotions" like damn can I just be myself 😭 it almost feels like I have to play a role or put on a performance when it comes to dating someone and it's frustrating ( I'm a girl by the way lol)
@@FrancisOkoronkwo-zb8lt I feel you,and agree 100% if things don’t work it is always like oh you were texting him a lot you shouldn’t have shown your feelings to fast etc. You are dating as if you are playing a game it get so hard.
@@lovelygirl7123 exactly like damn what happened to just wanting to have a genuine connection with someone without all the unnecessary tactics and games, which personally I feel like come from the sector of people online who practice and preach dating from an "emotionally unavailable" standpoint. I always thought of this approach toward dating as feeling like playing a video game where no one wins and it's sad.
Everything you mentioned is nothing but the truth and facts. This is why I’m single and honestly have no interest in dating or even holding conversations because I date with intention and rather be by myself than to be in a unfaithful relationship.
Good for you, no one should have to settle for that!
@@sweetiegenie2036 thanks love🩷
SAME GIRL! People are asking me "how can you not date or talk to any guys". You described how I feeling so perfectly
Same 💯💯💯
As a dude in my late 40s… super glad I didn’t grow up in this generation, social media really is a cancer that killed the whole culture of dating.
I have been viewed most of my life, as for lack of a better word, a weirdo, because I’ve never been comfortable with hookup culture, and I could never quite normalize a one night stand so I have always made it a point to befriend a potential boyfriend first and the relationship is always much better from there. Friendship should be the foundation. Relationships should never even be built on lust anyway.
I always say the same thing that friendship is the foundation. If you want a husband, search for a best friend first!
I feel the same way and I don't care what anyone thinks of that, it's my life and my body
Nuthin wrong with that!
Yes thank you!! I love this for everyone, don’t loose yourself and your soul by going with the crowd. Stick by to your morals and dignity.❤🙏🏽
Dating today is toxic, people are narcissists, manipulative, and crazy.
I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about dating now and the thought terrifies both of us LOL we started dating in 2009 while in highschool, so we obviously missed the online/app dating rise. Just thinking about having to do that, let alone put ourselves back out there makes me shudder. I hope it gets better for people. It's a shame that someone thats supposed to be fun is actually difficult and scary
Actually, I have another point of view. Sometimes, I’m actually grateful that I got to experience that and I had the courage to leave and starting over. I feel like if it was the other way around, I’d be so scared and be forced to accept less than what I think I deserve.
Is there a reason you guys aren’t married? Genuinely asking. Not trying to be passive aggressive and attack how your relationship functions. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now and we’re still not married, but I can easily explain why.
You have been dating him for close than 15 years ? You aren’t in a better place than the people today …
I don’t even know how to date anymore. Everybody use dating apps but I don’t like using them.. I want to find someone irl but it’s not possible idk why but I know I just hate it.
Btw sorry for the Bad english hello from Germany 🇩🇪 😂
Not bad English at all!
Hi hello can i ask u, what's the best way to learn German?
I'm from the Philippines and i want to learn German language. I would appreciate if you reply to my message. Thank you❤
I'm so happy I'm aromantic and have no need to put myself through this dating chaos. It sounds so exhausting.
I am romantic but I have decided to not put myself through this again. It‘s just not worth it. I haven‘t been this relaxed in a long time.. best decision.
Lol same I just sit back with some popcorn and watch everyone be all horny and angry at each others mind games
I think dating apps and social media has definitely ruined dating culture. It has made many of us impatient and rush the dating process to try to lock down a relationship super quickly. Our expectations for relationships are so unrealistic we want perfection from day 1 when someone is still a stranger.
I found this to be particularly true on dating apps, you match day 1 and suddenly you’re planning the next year together
Edit: I also agree that because many of us have not had good examples of relationships and have started to follow social media tutorials on what dating should look like and getting upset If it doesn’t match the social media rule book
Great comment. you seem very self aware. how old are you ?
I don't think you understand the definition on patriarchy. With respect
I would also have to say that people just don’t go out to have a good time anymore. It’s all about just posting on social media and not actually living in the moment people like to give the illusion of having a good time when they’re just sitting on their phones, not engaging. So yes, going out in person does allow you to meet more people organically, but you actually have to be open and show that you’re interested.
Haven't dated or been with anyone for 7 years. I wanted to heal and learn from past relationships and work on myself until I meet someone for long term relationship. Not willing or interested in hook ups or casual sex, I prefer meeting someone organically and building a real connection and friendship first.
That’s good…just don’t hit 30.
@koban4max… oh? What is she supposed to do then? Die before the age of 30? Because that’s the only way she can remain in her 20’s. Aging is natural for both men and women. The fact it’s held against women especially is crazy.
@@koban4max i feel like men that say this f*ckery are already alone and know that theyre the ones thats gonna be alone.. just a hunch
Just for my understanding...is healing what women use when they stop dating players or top tier guys that use them for sex?
Ive heard this term but i dont really know how you heal.
Im young tho
@@amukbir8777healing is when you work on yourself, your own happiness, attitude, and life. Making yourself the person you want to be. That’s what healing is. Also, if someone is using you up for sex, that doesn’t make them “top tier” that makes them just like any other bad person.
As an 18 year old who still hasn’t lost their v card, hasn’t been on a single date or been in a relationship, I am so terrified of dating and am still waiting on the opportunity. At this point, it’s nothing about my looks. In fact, I’m as tall (5’11 lol) and have the physique of a runway model, and I’m always told that I’m pretty. The problem is, no guys ever take me seriously 😭😭😭 just finished freshman year of college and endured an awful into to HU culture. I went from having my first kiss 3 weeks of college, to seeing guys late at night and barely receiving anything out of it. I refused to have sex (because I’m saving that for my future boyfriend) which only left me with a couple of other options “hooking up” (9x/10 it was me performing on a guy, which i started to feel poorly about because I felt like I was allowing myself to get used). On this topic, guys were either creepily turned on and began fetishizing me once I revealed I was a virgin, or didn’t want to peruse things for me for that reason. For example, super cute 6’6 football player had me in his room 3 times and every time we starting doing things he’d mention that he had condom but I would always say I didn’t wanna do it, which eventually led him to ghost me 🤦🏽♀️. Idk at this point, Imma still keep doing me. But I really do want to meet my future man organically, dating to marry, and not just for sex ):
girl you are so relatable, this was literally how my freshman year fall semester of college was like too! men in college are the worst they only talk to women for the experience/social status tbh, they dont see us as real ppl. majority of them refuse to commit bc 1. they already have a lil boo at home they dying to see and they use college girls to fill that empty void or/and 2. they all plan to commit after college. after i stopped talking to men, my college life in spring semester became soo much better. i began to focus on myself and i plan to do so for my upcoming sophomore year and the rest of my college years. it’s better to just stay to yourself and wait til you’re older! it’s better to date when older anyways bc you’ll be wiser and mature while knowing what u want and don’t want.
You need to stop going after 6'6 football players. That's your problem. You're choosing the wrong men. Go to church or some other respectable function.
been there done that and I'm not looking for an athlete and respectfully I don't want a narc christian boyfriend lollll@@theplasmacollider6431
People are so selfish. People just want to take and not give. They think the shallow, toxic, emotionless connection is sustainable and trendy. I’m done dating. Sometimes I get lonely but when I think about dealing with another person I would rather not. It’s not worth it.
I blame social media. We are so connected quickly and easily, it is so normalized.
I disagree, SM doesn't control a person, why & what they should do. It's that actual person. You should know the absolute things you want in a man. Some woman should realize how that man is treating them and know their own boundaries, paying attention while dating, wonder is he really worth it & forget about posting on SM while dating or in a relationship. It messes up your dating life. You can't blame SM on how a person is. But you can blame them on how they react to SM.
It's nothing new. Online dating has always been toxic. You just hear it more often on social media.
Off topic, but NJPW is 🔥
Online dating is the worst. The short time I tried it the majority of the men were married or "going through a divorce"(which isn't the same as being divorced just to clear up any confusion) and just wanted a quick hookup was insane. Furthermore we women have certainly perfected the art of taking a selfie that looks to good to be true (yes, I'm taking about filters) but quite a few men that I actually found the courage to meet in public looked a lot....um....older and had less hair than their profile picture led me to believe....and don't get me started on trying to figure out whether he had mostly all of his teeth because most men don't even smile in their pictures. Call me superficial all you want but at the end of the day there has to be some kind of physical attraction as well as mental attraction for me.
I think another good point (and possible unpopular opinion) is hopeless romanticism. A lot of us grew up watching movies when we were younger about women who were waiting on their “Prince Charming” to sweep them off their feet. I speak on this from personal experience as this was my downfall in a recent situation. I still want to be in love but i feel like I and we as a society need to be more realistic about dating expectations. Of course without sacrificing our morals and expectations!
I agree as a hopeless romantic person, romance movies, tv shows and books gave our generation a false sense of what love is. And adding on to the fact that social media has become a hub for hopeless romantics to envy couples who do “have it all together” to feel left out and settle for less
@@Justcanary8888 EXACTLY!!!
That’s why it’s called television… TELL A VISION! A vision that isn’t real!
Just like a good story. The best stories are often written by people who had unrequited love. Why? Because they turned their pain into art. But these people DID not have “happily ever afters” so they made them through their writings. And if you notice the actual stories are often dark af.
This is important to remember.
@@purevenus6359 Oh okay let me just tell my 5 yr old self that…. obviously this is something that I understand now but as a kid no one comprehends that and your experiences as a kid def shape your mindset as an adult. Please don’t try to school me…
@@Justcanary8888as a hopeless romantic, i agree!!
I blame social media, and the access people have to other people and the misconception that there are options. Also, not many people or it seems that not many people value a true, genuine connection and understand how to get there. I also feel like the normalization of hook up culture has a tremendous effect on dating culture today and
Don't blame SM for this. That person actually listened to a person/video on SM. That's like saying a person died because of SM. Nah, that person died cuz they listened to SM. There's a huge difference. It's up to that person to make up their own mind. You can't believe everything a person says. You make up your own mind, SM doesn't make it up for you. I don't even understand why ppl believe SM is to blame..?? I wish, some ppl would just stop listening to SM for almost everything. Some ppl are so quick to do that.
Women just want the bag he ce why now we are choosing just the nyash
THIS! it’s about the access. Ppl scroll endlessly and think they have endless options. It’s an illusion. This leads to over blown standards and shallow connections that rarely last. Imagine marrying & having a family with a person who is caught up in all this.
@@mike619 scary times
There are “dating coaches” out there that encourage women to be stoic barely showing emotions in their relationship. That if you show a man you “care too much” he’ll lose interest and take advantage of you. Babe if that’s the case, that man never loved you to begin with.
@@blueblaze9862 I said in a relationship, not the dating stage. You should be able to be vulnerable in a relationship.
@@blueblaze9862 That's a Western culture phenomenon. Girls outside the west act needy sometimes and guys here have no problems with it.
@@theplasmacollider6431we have no problem with it here either unless you’re crazy.
I been with my bf for 2 years and we didn't even make out before we were 100% sure that we liked each other and it was the best decision. Waiting to have sex is really important because you can see who is interested only on that and who genuinely likes you :)
I agree with the s*x thing. I declared celibacy on November of last year solely because the dating culture is trash. No ringy no dingy. I tell men upfront I am celibate and they realize they are not getting coochie and rather leave. It sucks because I am like damn but it shows the kind of man they are 😮💨
Most men want sex. Find a guy who wants to wait, but that also means finding a guy that purely likes you for your personality alone and won’t really see you in a sexual light immediately. That’s super rare.
I see no problem from either parties
Isn't that what women wanted tho? “if you just want sex find someone else ” can't blame him tho
I feel as though some of yall are missing something. I tell these men my boundaries upfront during the get to know you stage. If I say I am not having sex from the jump, why bother wasting my time when you realize I am actually being serious. That’s where I think they are in the “wrong”. Everyone is entitled to how they feel but if I am transparent from the get go, it leaves me confused and annoyed
@@imxnisjourney I think that the problem is that you equate being celibate with “being serious” many women and men have sexual intercourse and have very serious ways of conducting relationships. It’s ok with you having boundaries with the way you perceive s*x but just know that doesn’t mean that the men who want sex aren’t serious. That’s just your boundary alone and you have to deal with men with that similar outlook. Simple. Don’t come on her acting like men that want to have s*x are somehow wrong for wanting that 😂
I love that you've acknowledged the dire state of dating these days, honestly getting to know someone and having a heart to heart conversation seems like a thing of the past. Like no substance at all, the lack genuiness and sincerity is honestly tiresome to deal with and saddening. The future generations are growing up amongst such serious moral decline.
The terms "high value man" or "high value woman" describes everything which is going wrong.
When there are high value humans, there are low value humans. Where do we find such thinking patterns?
In for example racism.
I mean we don't like racism to say the least, but why do we think in similar ways when it comes to dating and judging people? If we stop this, we start to treat everyone with respect, regardless if she looks like a model or he just has a regular job. This is the foundation to finding and maintaining a healthy relationship imo.
Young lady you may be just 22, but your truly infused with much wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Godspeed. Keep up the great work. I'm a subscriber now. 🙌🏾
Wow, thank you so much! I really appreciate it💕
All this aesthetic dating makes me enjoying being solitude even more,
As someone who use to be all about a man buying me everything doing the most and if he didn't he wasn't worth it I noticed that when I humble myself did some huge soul searching revaluate my life and Got closer to God I asked him to cleanse me and teach me what true love is I met my now husband! And I haven't looked back sometimes life does a whole reality check on you see before I met my husband I did end up finding a Mr money bags but he was a total abusive asshole a liar and a cheater yet financed my whole life but none of that was worth it at all! Yet I was so unhappy now I'm the most happiest or all my husband has truly showed me what it's like to be with a true man I found my peace❤
Any update on how your relationship is now. Is he still a good guy
Social media has destroyed quality relationships. Everything is about looks and appearance. Its impossible to get to know someone based on a profile pick and a bio, and the fact that those are the minimum that people use to decide "Am I gonna sleep with this person?" is troubling. While I'm not religious and appreciate the invention of birth control, I still think we should be selecting our sexual partners as potential mothers/fathers of our kids. No contraception is 100% and I would hate to raise a baby with a one night stand. I'm not saying you should wait till marriage or rush marriage to have sex, but at least get to know the person and their values. Strive for commited relationships instead of booty calls. If I'm giving someone access to my body, I want them to be someone I can trust and more importantly, someone I can see myself raising a child with if contraception fails.
You can't blame SM. They didn't destroy anything. It's the actual person/ppl. That's like blaming SM for a person being harmed by a SM challenge. Ppl/person didn't have to do the actual challenge. Just like some ppl/person didn't have to listen, agree & rely on SM about dating.
Spot on. People forget that their kids will have 50% of the traits and character that their partner has and they don’t even think ab how their partner will raise those kids when the time comes…
This is why I stay single. Just not worth it. Met a man 2 weeks ago and he says he loves me. Like bro what??
On my celibacy journey and just working on my career
This generation is so sexualized. I have friends who never reveal themselves now showing their ass on IG like gurl stop that’s not who you are.
I guess your career is your husband
@@Captaiesqueleto lol! since when did having a career become shade. I'm perfectly fine with it being my husband
@@janea8093 It’s no shade just know that’s your family isn’t that what the big corporations say they people you work with is like they’re your family
I'm 22, still a virgin and people shame that. Men haven't liked that I want to save my virginity for when I settle down, whether if it's for a marriage or formal relationship and they just go away because they usually only look for a hook up. Also, expectations now are really low generally, but I come from a home where I only live with my dad and older brother, they both treat me as a queen and the least I look for is for someone to treat me the same way, but people seem to dislike that.
Another thing is that social media has really damaged social interaction, I'd rather to meet someone in person, but individuals think that with a slide on the dm's they're done... dating right now is really complicated, there are just so many things that have affected how we date right now and it kinda sucks...
Your doing great 👍 stay the way you are 💕
@April Tiff thank you so much, you're sweet 🥹💕
Similar situation. Almost 21 a virgin and indeed people shame that.
It really sounds funny when men are only looking to hook up, when they are the ones that demand from young women to be "virgins".
I think they find corrupted women as unnatractive, so they hook up with them because they feel bad for them, not taking them seriously though.
@miss nobody you're so right. It's kind of ironic how men loom for a hook up and then shame you for being a virging. However, I also have notice how sexually active women shame virgin women just for the sake of "not being desired". I find that really sad as well, everyone talks about body autonomy, but it seems to be that virginity is not an option in today's society.
honestly it’s better to save ur virginity anyways bc most young girls always regret giving their virginity so fast and felt dissatisfied w their experience
I think divorce or “broken homes” is a huge piece. Hookup culture sucks but realistically If you’ve never seen love or a relationship as it should be, it’s very difficult to experience it correctly.
Agreed
Awh thanks for using my comment ! 🥰
I loved this video it really hit all the points.
I had a really rough time dating in my mid 20s a couple years ago and I thought I would never find my match but I’m really glad that I ended up finding it.
If any single woman is reading this, please don’t settle for red flags and please don’t listen to toxic dating advice on tik tok. You will find someone who treats you how you deserve
it gets harder when you are neurodivergent. I dont know about other neurodivergents and dont want to speak for them but from my experience, guys see me as some sort of playground and something to laugh about. I now am forced to learn about these dating rules not because I want to, but because I have to protect myself.
This hits so hard as an autistic woman 😭😭😭
My high-value man and I were friends for 15 years before we realised we wanted to be together. He was the one male friend I had that I knew was safe, respected me and didn't want anything from me he just enjoyed my company and I enjoyed his. It was more than worth the wait and I feel so incredibly lucky that this is how we met and we had just a normal, healthy love story. 💖
👏Good for you
That’s so sweet hope I find that too
That great...!! Being friends is the best way to start a relationship/dating. You practically, already know almost everything about him or her. Which one of best things, when it comes to dating/relationships..!! That exactly how I always start off my relationship, cuz need to know get to you.
@@dashiajames1882 Majority of guys aren’t friends with women so if you find that rare connection good luck to you 👌🏾
finally, a woman who actually gets it and can actually sympathize with what men go through. I get tiresome of watching dating videos from women and it always being onesided with men being demonized. I'm someone who personally doesn't use social media (haven't posted anything in 5+ years now) so I'd want someone who's the same. I feel like if you always need the attention from other people, you're more likely to cheat.
@Bree Love Outside of "redpill" spaces, yes, yes they do. And you sound butthurt that men have problems too. Get off my comment thread if you're mad lmao.
@Bree Love I think you read his comment wrong. The person is talking about wanting a partner who doesn’t use social media too. However, I do get what you’re saying. I do think regardless of gender, Toni’s approach of this topic is great for everyone💯
I’ve been single 5 years now. And honestly, almost every relationship I’ve been in… was toxic. I’m not the type to blame everybody else for everything. I live in my truth, so I recognize my short comings and that’s a big reason why I’ve been single so long. I work on myself daily and my toxic traits. Plus, I have a teenage son. How he sees me portray myself as a single woman is imperative to shaping him as a man.
But honestly, the older I get I realize this is how I am my happiest.
Not gonna lie it's a great day to be aroace I don't have to deal with these headaches, but everyone else you have my condolences.
"women goes after men who's successful and has more money" - meanwhile me who dated and was committed to the guys when they were broke 👁👄👁
Newsflash to men! Women are not objects! 🗣️
Newsflash to women! Men are not ATMs!
Literally there was this guy I had known for a long time and I was really into him and I thought he was into me too. We were talking for about two week and then he ghosted me😭ngl I’m pretty hurt by it but then I think that maybe God is saving me from something😂
His loss! I promise things really do happen for a reason and the universe is gonna have someone way better for you ❤
He wanted 🐱 but he’ll come back they always do and don’t let him.
@@Anavaeebaee God, not the universe. God created the universe
@@fortheladies771 I’m an atheist so I don’t give a shit 💀💀
Regular people are bi curiously living through celebrities and influencers thinking that they will get there one day😂
Lmao. So true. I know a few people that actually think they will be the next Beyoncé. With 0 skills and talent. One of them calls herself a “goddess”. 😅
Recenly I reconnected with a cute guy from high school, we had a fling and hooked up a few times and then he ghosted 😃 I’m tired of dating and trying to find a genuine connection for it to all end up backfiring in my face. Now I feel pretty sad and ugly, I regret having this fling with him but ig I hoped it would turn into something more. I feel as women we must put a stop to hookup culture, starting by looking at our own actions, in order for men to change. By feeding into this, we have allowed them to prey on us, and to completely ignore the damage they cause, no empathy and no care.
If you hookup with a guy, then what do you expect when he ghosts you. If you're saving yourself for commitment/marriage, then save yourself for every guy you date. Not just the guy you have lukewarm feelings for but give it up readily for the rockstar you're turned on by in hopes that sex will turn into a relationship. Remember, girls control access to sex but guys control access to marriage and commitment.
12:33 I grew up very Christian so my mama always told me “save yourself until your sure that the person you’ve fallen in love with TRULY loves you” and id always ask how do you know someone loves you? And she’d say “you’ll know when they’d go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. And that really affected how I view men/women that I’m interested in if you can’t do something so simple as not cheat or do something I don’t like that would hurt me or us vice versa we are not the ones for each other
I don’t think that there are more “options”… people are just more exposed to other people than ever. Everyone thinks they have more options when they don’t. Matches and followers don’t equate to having more opportunities for love. One thing I’ve noticed at 29 is how many men try to come back around once they realize that they didn’t have the options they thought they did. It’s easy to match and connect online but that doesn’t mean anything. People justify the exhaustion of it all by saying “it’s a numbers game”. It’s not though. You can go on 2-3 dates a week until your eyes glaze over, and still not find one person that you actually click and feel safe with whereas there are people who barely use social media and have never tried tinder who are happy with their college bae and couldn’t be bothered. it’s a quality game.
Thanks for the well wishes!! I am feeling better but with no intention on trying to date again at least for a while 🤷🏻♀️
Dating nowadays has a faster turnaround time than the worst managed Walmart in your city. Gas prices are more stable than these relationships.
I feel like I want to get married but dating just seems to be an issue. Every guy I’ve been with has cheated on me and lied constantly. I now have trust issues. I try dating they mostly just want sex and I’m not willing to have sex until marriage or at the very least a promising commitment.
Time to be gay! Jk
Hold on the right one will came along …don’t compromise your values for anybody!
@@lovelygirl7123 Social pressure to dating is real and not every girl can get over it...
@@crystajewelz1069 gay doESN'T work like that. Many try and are right back to being who they really are STRAIGHT.
If every man you dated cheated on you, maybe the problem is you not them. 🤣
My fiance is 18yrs older than me, we have made the agreement that he will take care of the money, as long as I take care of the house. I just want to be housewife, with clothing repairs, cooking, gardening.... I;m terrible with money
Yes, do what works, but be a-b-l-e to take care of yourself, and that includes financially. Just a suggestion.
@@katherinechase3674 that sounds ableist. Right down to the spelling it out. My mental health causes issues with money management. If I could afford a financial manager, I'd hire one to take care of my money and give me money after the bills and savings
@@JenBelogura solve your issue with money you can’t be that dependent on a person , what will happens to you in case you divorce? SMH
@@lovelygirl7123 yes, it is way more stressful to find out that your finances have been wiped clear, and given to his next female interest. Then, you would be reduced to being broke financially, and a broken woman emotionally. Bring a friend or a family member for support, to help you, and do it soon!
P.S. There are lots of professional people to help. Mediators, social workers, community services, paralegals, all of which you can attend without him, and aren't super expensive. You can attend these with a support person if bringing him isn't an option. Another thought is to obtain an advocate that is yours alone, there are wrap around services in some of the larger, better financed organizations.
@@ToniBryanneTV. Do you have a thought for this lady?
The amount if men being overly sexual is disgusting on these sites. 2 words and they start talking disgusting. Its terrible
The amount of shallow women who want a baller is disgusting too it goes both ways
This was a really good video but also a very depressing video. I’m 21 and i’m already believing that i will just be the cool auntie at the cookouts😭
That's me unfortunately and an actually auntie. But it's so depressing and sad for me. When I attend things I'm lonely and everyone has somebody. Then everyone ask have u meet anyone. I usually cry later on. I'm 33
@@jasmineloves2144U will find someone
I just gotta say am I the only one who hates that "You need a man " that line is so annoying. Anyways, such a great video. Thoughts & opinions were great. Have a wonderful day/night.
Thanks 🙂🙂...!!
as someone who has never dated before, the discourses surrounding it has caused me so much anxiety 🫠
Soooo true about ignoring the red flags! Ive seen it so many times personally and with women in my life.. we usually always know from the very beginning
The dating culture is ruined because of the RECESSION. Im a 26 yo woman. A bunch of companies are still doing layoffs after 3 years of the pandemic. People are still working 2-3 jobs and have to maintain their appearance & keeping their house clean & running errands on the ONLY 1 day off they have during a week. The last thing I’d want to worry about is getting buddy buddy with a date when I’ve lost my job and was unemployed for 10 months straight. I’m going to choose becoming stable over a random date. There’s still stigma living with family in your mid 20s and beyond. And if you have nosey family members who ask you where you’re going every weekend night it makes dating & hanging out with friends difficult. I keep family & friends separate but it’s hard when family doesn’t respect your privacy of whereabouts as an ADULT. This is why I can’t date comfortably until I buy my own car in cash, a condo, and have a new higher paying job. Due to social media I avoid men who are very flashy because I don’t need them to speak down on me or make jokes about my living situation. Very FEW guys know my situation because I consider them friends
You don’t need to buy a car and buy a condo to be able to date. All you need is to be able to pay for an apartment….that way you can have your privacy. Waiting to buy all these things you could really missed out on your dating life…
Me and my sister are in a similar position. We cannot date until we have a stable job and a house/car, to also start dating.
Like women men can be just as terrible in humiliating.
Absolute bars. Alot of vids about dating/relationships love to skim over this and never gets talked about.
@@lovelygirl7123 I don’t want to waste money renting. I know what I need to do in order to comfortably date. Plus I’m not missing out on much because most men I’ve come across have secret girlfriends that they’re unhappy with and begin to emotionally cheat on them to me. Or the single men I’ve come across don’t want commitment and are hyper sex focused. I’ve had my fair share of male friends that lead to casual sex gone bad destroy my sanity and peace. Men also feel uncomfortable to take STD testing just because they’ve been monogamous or don’t feel itching/burning. All I want to focus on is finding a closer relationship with god, get a new job, car, lose weight, meditate, go to therapy, and remain ABSTINENT for the rest of my 20s. Being abstinent from sex includes dating as well.
I just found this channel and now I'm obsessed 😂
Withholding sex seems impossible for some.I look at it as a red flag, if we can’t hang out without you bringing up sex.
Also I heard that withholding sex makes men violent. Idk how true that is.
It makes us feel aggressive sometimes. It’s like we are moody without sex. Our hormones built up. Instead of getting sex, we naturally cum in the morning which is embarrassing. Our testicles get full quickly. Sex is a union of marriage.
dating is so damn toxic. growing up i was taught that dating was something special. you have the opportunity to get to know all about someone and fall in love with them genuinely because you love the person they are. i was idealizing this world where i can find someone who i get along with and betters me as a person and betters my life. unfortunately i grew up, and the real world is not like that at all. it’s so hard to find someone who wants the same thing as me.
As an older woman who grew up without social media I appreciate you bringing this up. Keep up the good work!
You have to find someone who wants the same things as you and be honest about it. A lot of people think they can change someone or just be attractive (physically and emotionally) enough to hook someone and then think it's enough to just get their foot in that door. In honesty, it doesn't matter where you meet the person. You need to be honest and weed through a lot of people who don't want the things you want in order to find someone. It might have seemed easier to meet people in person "back in the day" and the divorce rate might have been lower but that doesn't mean marriages were happier. It just meant that women weren't allowed to have bank accounts, a lot more were stay at home moms with no income of their own to leave, or didn't leave because they didnt have resources or the knowledge that being single or dating is fine and can make you happy too. Relationships have always been complicated. I met my bf of 4 years on Tinder of all places. People demonize it because it's the Mecca of hookup culture but if you use it honestly and don't get hung up on shallow, stupid things, it's possible to have success. You reap what you sow and you need to have patience. If you start dating someone who is very into social media and appearances then that's what you'll get and don't be surprised if they don't stop it for you. You can't change people.
I agree with everything else you said but you having a boyfriend of 4 years…..he should have already committed by now…be careful ..
@@lovelygirl7123 there's nothing to be careful about im good
You also have people who will straight up lie to your face to appear as what they think you want them to be only to screw you over to take pleasure in your pain. So no, it’s not just about finding someone who wants the same things as you. It’s about finding someone who doesn’t want to f with your head.
just curious, months later.. are you still "good"? @@carlamoss89
I’m old school at 35. I want to go on a real date when I meet someone and get to know them genuinely. I’m not down for the “ wyd” texts and going over someone’s house you just met. I mean, too early. That’s why I just date myself lol
Reason why I wish I was born in the 80s or 90s
Everything in this video is chefs kiss, nail on the head, just on point! My frustrated thought’s verbalised in a constructive and relatable way.
There's always a risk of cheating in serious long-term romantic relationships. Unfortunately there are some people out there who don't end the relationship because it's still convenient for them to stay for the time being while they're seeing someone else on the side. They bide their time until the other person ends it for one reason or another.
People really need to take this risk into consideration before deciding whether or not they want to jump into relationships throughout their lifetime, especially if they want marriage or kids. It's like the lottery, millions of people play and the majority don't win the prize.
Men and women will be alright though. We just need to
remember and accept that most relationships don't last forever, and that's okay! Hopefully some good times were had, and that something was learned, no matter how long it ended up lasting.
This is why I can't trust anybody, even in a relationship I would never fully be able to trust them, because when the time comes that they do cheat, I'll have wished, I snooped through their phone 5 rent payments ago. Literally every relationship I've had the man has cheated.
@Misuki¥Kaneki
I'm so sorry that's been happening to you, and I can definitely understand about not trusting anyone while in a relationship these days.
Hopefully you're taking care of yourself because the only person we can trust is ourselves. Family, if you have a good relationship with them, and medical professionals are a close second.
6 minutes in, i would just like to add that status has always been a factor in relationships. seen while watching period pieces, and learning about historical/cultural practices, it still mattered very much the beauty/attractiveness, the money, and the rank of a person i would say just as much as now, although your point of this being on social media is what makes the game so much more different and difficult from the rest of history. great video!
Let’s not forget the music, especially rap music. Just like the TikTok creators, they get hurt then become nonchalant and start to use people, then they make music about it inflicting those thoughts onto others. Moneybagg Yo said let me if we have a future so he can have a backup.
When it comes to men being financially able to maintain their partners, I think this narrative is bound to US dating culture. In France there is nothing wrong with splitting bills, paying for your hair, nails etc. Also coming from Guadeloupe (in the Caribbean) the more independent a woman is the more attractive she is. This narrative might be toxic in a certain extent leading men to rely on their partners, but my point is we do not expect so much from men especially if they are young ..
You are right. American dating culture has become very toxic. It’s insane here
Girl I loved this video.. I agree 💯 there is so much that is going on now in the world. Thank you for sharing!
I think you hit on the head saying a lot of it is rooted in "Instant gratification "
Me and my friend were talking about this today too. Of course we had previous conversations but this video and the timing
*my friend and I
I've had two relationships and both of them taught me a lot, my first one was with a guy from my high school and we dated he became my emotional support and we got heck close buttt it was all in the lockdown's "online" period that when we met in real life we didn't click, it was so dry that it was impossible for us to get the fact that we're dating in the "online" world. we broke up over this issue and still remained good friends.
my second and current realtionship started in the second year of my uni and we were totally opposite people and lacked a lot of mutual interests but we are so happy together and all of this feels very real and satisfying. The guys might be complete opp to me but he's also everything i wanted in a man.
I had a more emotional connection with the first guy due to always being online and available and we were like a 100% match in hobbies interets liking and everything, he was a very mature guy. just that it was nothing like this in real life. we felt a really really long distance between us when we started meeting in real life
whereas my this relationship started in real life and although we were so diff from each other and stil are, we did so many activities together that we became so close. i have more fights in this relationship compared to my last but still i feel far more better than in this one.
I genuinely hope people can meet their partner in the real world as texts can't define everything about the person. In reality it's a mixture of so many things than just feeling good over texts.
Having many fights with your current boyfriend is also a BIG red flag…
In my experience, I have had sex with someone on the first day we met before we even went on a date and it was one of my most meaningful relationships. We went on nine our dates after and he was a febrile at and very committed. We had a lot of deep conversations and we both felt reassured. Unfortunately we just had different views on religion. I think it really boils down to the person’s values, thought process, the respect and the connection you have with someone regardless of when you have sex because after that guy I reflected a lot of my unhealthy patterns of dating men who didn’t share my needs and views on important topics…. I don’t believe holding sex until marriage is a good idea but I also think it is better to simply make sure that you are ready and to be more open and honest emotionally in order to attract more like minded individuals.
Keep telling yourself that.
I’m happily married and married so luckily in enough did not spend time in the dating pool. After seeing what’s out there and the expectations, I am thankful. Btw you look good. That’s the only reason I clicked on the video. 😅
personally since i feel no sexual or romantic feeling for people, i dont even date because all i see is people kissing, pda or sex and i really hate touching and feel disgusting if something sexual is targeted to me (i dont feel it if it is other people its just towards me) i feel like if i try to date they want to touch me, kiss mecand be flirty and i dont like that. i prefer just hanging out having hobbies to show to each other. like more of a friend that lover
All i can say is...wow. Putting it all together in one video really shows that the dating scene is just...not great. I'm just grateful that I never had to go through this. My husband and I started dating when I was 18 and he was my first boyfriend. We got married when I was 25 and we've been married for two years. If I weren't with him, I don't think I'd date anyone at all. I just wouldn't want to deal with all the stress.
For me, dating is hard is because if fear. There are so many people with red flags that could be dangerous. True crime doesn’t help either which is why I avoid it.
I am also afraid of ending up in a abusive relationship or being pressured for sex. I currently identified myself as demisexual, but I feel that I would never want to have sex for many different reasons. The hard part is finding a man (because I also identify as straight) who will respect that.
At this point, it is easier and better to be single.
Gosh you are SO gorgeous 💜 I’m married but I still clicked 🌹
Awww thank you so much!!! As a married woman please give some advice to us singletons in the comments😂
I respect this message. Love your channel 💙
I'm 31 and demi-sexual which means I don’t experience sexual attraction unless if I develop an emotional bond with the person. Every person I've slept with was either a really good friend that I trusted or a long term partner. I found dating apps to be exhausting as too many jumped into asking about sex right away even with my profile stating that I wasn't looking for hookups. Also too many men just flexing what they had. I deleted them apps and never looked back. I can't be bothered dating as it feels like a bunch of awkward job interviews. I'm just letting life happen and if someone nice comes along then great but if not I'm fine with being single. It's more peaceful anyways 😅
Same here🥲
Honey your not "demi sexual" your just normal
Same
The point about easy access to sex was so spot on!! I can't emphasise it more, you explained it so well.
I'm so glad i'm not dating anymore. i'm married, and dating is not fun. It's something that you have to get through to find your soulmate. It's something horrible I went through and the emotional scoring I still have to done with today. I'm still healing, and I will heal eventually.
I want you to do a video exposing the Harvey's and how not so glamorous it is as it looks. Most especially Steve Harvey he left his first wife Marcia while she was still pregnant and didn't pay child support for second wife Mary and then left her again for Majorie. And Majorie isn't quite the character she is out to be by the media. I also like how you did a video on Lori and how her dating life is not so glamorous. No hate to her. She is really cool, but nothing is cool about their lives in general. They are put out by the media as a happy family and disregarding the lives they have ruined in the process
I literally just watched Storm Monroe interview a lady about that. And what she said was on point I luvvved it. I believe Marjorie is a gold digger, manipulative & pimping her daughter out. That seems like a business marriage. Not a lovey dovey marriage.