Black Women and the Soft Life Lie w/ Ivana Robinson

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  • čas přidán 31. 03. 2023
  • Black Women and the Soft Life Lie w/ Ivana Robinson | If all these Soft Life videos have you working harder to pay for luxury things instead of embracing ease, you’re in the right place. Let’s talk about better options than soft life for Black women over 40 / Black women over 50. Because, is it really a soft life if you have to struggle for it? Or if you’re performing femininity so that people who don’t care about you will approve of you? 📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
    Sign up for Ivana’s newsletter: Bit.ly/ivanasubscribe
    Ivana’s membership launching this month DreamDesireDo.com
    RECLAIM: The Retreat November 2023 in El Salvador 🌴 www.reclaimtheretreat.com
    www.ivanarobinson.com / ivanarundaworld
    📒 Get on the waitlist for JOB DETOX: A Workbook for Black Women to Stop Striving and Get Free: vaycarious.com/jobdetox
    OTHER VIDEOS ON TRUE SELF LOVE FOR BLACK WOMEN:
    April Manifestation Reset - Goal Setting, Affirmations, Prayer & Scripting
    BrownandBendy: • Video
    I Quit My Job To Travel for a Year. ✈️ Here's What That Did For Me | Black Women Abroad czcams.com/users/live6XhcZNEQ5Yk
    It's Selfish Season for Black Women 🙌🏾 | How to Start Living for Yourself czcams.com/users/livewavXQG6h_wY
    15 EASY Ways to RESET YOUR LIFE FOR 2023 | Healthy, Productive & MEANINGFUL Living by BeautifulBrwnBabyDol • 15 EASY Ways to RESET ...
    PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY CZcams CHANNEL: @StephaniePerry ​

Komentáře • 281

  • @Prophetmother
    @Prophetmother Před rokem +64

    1:17:25 Thanks for the mention Stephanie! I'm here for the replay! I hate missing the lives but my own "soft life" included walking 4 miles with my hubby this morning! This is such an imporant conversation and I appreciate you both so much. I love to empower women to be assertive and set those boundaries to get what they need! No one's coming to save you! It's up to you to advocate for yourself. That's why I help overwhelmed, overworked women go from performance to presence in their professional and personal lives by giving themselves permission to rest, to play, and to meet their own needs without apology. Give yourself the permission to make mistakes, to be valued, to be yourself, to have support! You are worthy of all of these things!

  • @lvettesonai
    @lvettesonai Před rokem +81

    TickTokers do not know what "Soft Life" truly is. It's a difficulty-free, living easier, drama-free lifestyle. Not necessarily meaning luxury. They miss the entire point.

    • @jcarter5521
      @jcarter5521 Před rokem

      That’s literal delusion and damaging because you need adversity in life. You actually need some stress in life. This wood consists of dualities, yin and Yang. A good life is about balance not some fake BS proganda that’s superficial. Being born again isn’t always easy street and sipping drinks at brunch on a yatch.

    • @Michelle.1952
      @Michelle.1952 Před rokem +12

      For some it involves luxury and that's ok too.

    • @ninagrace-lee8323
      @ninagrace-lee8323 Před 11 měsíci +7

      I tried to say this and got so much heat 😂 luxury isn’t the be all, end all. “Soft life” is carefree, relaxation, time to rest and enjoy life, being taken care of, etc. A designer bag after grinding 14 hours in your business isn’t “soft life”😂

    • @lvettesonai
      @lvettesonai Před 11 měsíci

      @@ninagrace-lee8323 😂 Exactly

  • @heretodaytheretomorrow543

    I quit my nursing job. I typed the resignation letter, returned all their equipment, badges, and hauled ass that same day. I just didn’t want to work that hard anymore.

    • @Gullahbae-xm6ms
      @Gullahbae-xm6ms Před rokem +11

      I can’t wait to quit my bedside job. Nursing is GHETTO.

    • @ddollx
      @ddollx Před rokem +4

      I love this for you.

    • @MsMaxinejoy
      @MsMaxinejoy Před rokem +2

      Good for you!!

    • @shaadaijohnson1979
      @shaadaijohnson1979 Před rokem +10

      I did the same thing 2 days ago. I got a much better job, flexible hours and same hourly pay. I am starting my own business with my extra free time.

    • @mothernature12
      @mothernature12 Před rokem

      You women are delusional, you need to be part of the aristocracy for this soft life bullshit. Life is hard period quit your job and get ready for the streets.

  • @pamelacollier9521
    @pamelacollier9521 Před rokem +190

    Can you imagine the impact on the world if a huge amount of black women divested from Mule Life and lived the soft life?

    • @ayemiksenoj5254
      @ayemiksenoj5254 Před rokem +9

      Yes, actually I can!

    • @LuvDaSkinUAreIn
      @LuvDaSkinUAreIn Před rokem +9

      ​@Have a little Faith And if they can't come together...
      Oh well , too bad and oh so sad for their a$$e$!! 😂

    • @Sistadelphia
      @Sistadelphia Před rokem +14

      Child they gone have to brace for the impact cause it’s coming.😃

    • @diamondjack-cooper5322
      @diamondjack-cooper5322 Před rokem +6

      AMEN, the world would not be able to function because black women do the jobs that no else will do because we need the money and everyone depends on us!
      Black men especially would no longer be able to exploit our love and help!
      Finally I see it like this,black women would finally get man that loves them and shows it everyday, not just when he wants or needs something from you!
      AMEN!

    • @diamondjack-cooper5322
      @diamondjack-cooper5322 Před rokem

      AMEN!😭🙏💪🙂

  • @MsMaxinejoy
    @MsMaxinejoy Před rokem +77

    I'm 54. If you want the soft life, you need to become debtfree. Then you can make moves from there.
    I'm in the medical field...busting my ass for decades. Now working per diem, and living my debtfree life. I take travel assignments and bust my ass for 13 weeks, then chill-mode.
    Make a plan, make a way, execute decisions.
    -Omonike

    • @dahliakenyatta
      @dahliakenyatta Před rokem +6

      I agree with 💯. I quit my job last spring and this year I picked up a contract job for 2 months. I think I like it here. Work for a few months then chill , then repeat.

    • @nataliejo336
      @nataliejo336 Před rokem +10

      Debt free is the key. Absolutely

    • @Michelle.1952
      @Michelle.1952 Před rokem +8

      For many becoming debt free is impossible. Even working 24/7. If I can have the choice between living life and dying in debt or slaving and dying debt free, in choosing the former. I have no children btw so no one else will have to carry my burdens one I'm gone.

    • @MishasMama
      @MishasMama Před rokem +1

      @@Michelle.1952 agreed... and if things are set up a certain way, personal debt is written off

    • @deliteful1991
      @deliteful1991 Před 11 měsíci

      This is my goal.

  • @art6374
    @art6374 Před rokem +10

    People have made consumerism a life path.

  • @rochellecoleman3898
    @rochellecoleman3898 Před rokem +145

    I was on my job for 25 years. I took a leave of absence due to family issues and enjoyed the freedom of not going to a 9-5. When my leave was up, I quit. No 2 weeks. Although I feel like I am struggling a little financially, I am mentally free. My husband and I travel all over the United States and hopefully will take some trips overseas soon. We no longer have a house but travel with an RV. We can go anywhere anytime. Loving this soft life.

    • @GoogleAccount00
      @GoogleAccount00 Před rokem +2

      🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

    • @MsMaxinejoy
      @MsMaxinejoy Před rokem +5

      There is no need for financial difficulties. Take traveling assignments. 13-week assignments. They have this in my field as well.

    • @monicacalais9169
      @monicacalais9169 Před rokem

      So inspiring

    • @summerslotus1109
      @summerslotus1109 Před rokem +3

      Look at God YAH THE CREATOR!!! THISSSS is a confirmation... Because this is my dream and WHERE in headed. Nobody else around ME is seeing this as freedom.

    • @pamelascottAZrealtor
      @pamelascottAZrealtor Před rokem +1

      That's what I'm talking about, Sis.🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @jackierumph2779
    @jackierumph2779 Před rokem +42

    " your job is not WHO you are.. It's simply what you do for a living."

    • @GoogleAccount00
      @GoogleAccount00 Před rokem +13

      Facts. This is a question that I hate when I’m out in public or on a date. Don’t ask me about what I do, ask me about who I am, what I enjoy, etc. I learned as a teenager that a job is not my identity.

    • @eternalabundance39
      @eternalabundance39 Před 10 měsíci +2

      ​@@GoogleAccount00love your comment so true don't like the what do you do question.

  • @DarleneCharise
    @DarleneCharise Před rokem +39

    Soft life is an internal transformation. It’s a spiritual connection with yourself and the Creator and not looking outside that for anything. It doesn’t equate to luxury to me. It’s truly a mindset ❤

    • @onionioni5767
      @onionioni5767 Před 7 měsíci

      Yes, i think you're the only one I've seen who has explained it this way. This is how i experience it, a spiritual connection, which does require choosing yourself over drama & negativity

  • @dews3340
    @dews3340 Před rokem +52

    BLACK WOMEN are harming themselves by over working, over spending, this is an important book: Confessions of a SLOT MACHINE QUEEN by (BW) Sandra Adell wrote about her gambling addiction. February 2010 I read her book when it was published, years ago...... Stay safe and healthy black women

  • @myas9207
    @myas9207 Před rokem +161

    I remember taking most of the days off during my 2 week notice. I went to get my check on the last day and they gave me an ultimatum to stay and work or get fired. I got my check and walked out. That company had me working muscles I didn't even know I had.

  • @archersunshine8890
    @archersunshine8890 Před rokem +16

    “I’m a serial job quitter” 🤣🤣🤣
    Stephanie is too funny! 😂

    • @chikFromMTL
      @chikFromMTL Před 5 měsíci +2

      😂😂😂 This is my new title: serial job quitter 🙌🏾

  • @staywell7217
    @staywell7217 Před rokem +24

    Being a minimalist (in acquiring material items), but being a maximalist (self-care, functioning in purpose, fulfilling experiences, inspiring others/creating legacy) are elements in my soft life. Self-preservation and peace of mind...

  • @pristineparr7509
    @pristineparr7509 Před rokem +10

    i was hoping you would address the way the movement applauds weakness and crying. As a woman of a certain age i have seen what happens when women don’t claim their inner strength which can be done without being hard, emasculating or insensitive. Tons of women are going to wind up in mental institutions trying to be the “weak” “feminine “ stereotype that rejects taking care of yourself emotionally enough to embrace resilience and grit.

  • @JustThink2000
    @JustThink2000 Před rokem +143

    I’m going to need Ivana to hand over the skincare process

  • @DolceVita
    @DolceVita Před rokem +21

    ❤my concern is that soft life creators are saying that soft life comes from being a SAHM! Ain’t nothing soft about being a SAHM!

    • @penelopejustice3824
      @penelopejustice3824 Před rokem

      That's my problem. A lot of these "soft life", "femininity" gurus are all about convincing women to fit into traditional patriarchy for the benefit of men. Everything they promote is about how do you make yourself look, sound, smell, act, like a male's vision of womanhood. They still deeply believe that women exist to serve men.

  • @dews3340
    @dews3340 Před rokem +52

    ADDITIONALLY, solo and no kids Ms Clara Bridges turned 102 years old recently in Atlanta Georgia. She has lived in the senior citizens facility for 47 years as a retired nurse and a military veteran. ... 5 🌟 stars to Ms Bridges

  • @danielleleycon55
    @danielleleycon55 Před rokem +29

    Amazing! I was overwhelmed, overworked & underpaid n a high-stress 6 figure job...It started w the death of my parents & morphed into dog/hm sitting! I'm 58 and thx bc now I've discovered I've been living the SL! My high-profile independent Alpha Mule female friends & sorority sisters don't understand my new self! Hahaha, I'm sharing this YT video! Thx ladies🙌🏽🌟❤️😜

    • @KC-qr3wk
      @KC-qr3wk Před rokem +6

      Not an alpha mule 😂😂😂

    • @C.Masterson
      @C.Masterson Před rokem +1

      Underpaid & six figure job in the same sentence...😮😮😮

  • @exoticallovergirl
    @exoticallovergirl Před rokem +5

    I live the soft life. After I left corporate it took me about a YEAR to decompress.

  • @EternalRocks
    @EternalRocks Před rokem +75

    Soft life to me is stress-less life. (take it easy; enjoy the simple things) stop overextending.

  • @phaedra5283
    @phaedra5283 Před rokem +21

    I think soft life is your vision of The Soft Life. My vision is staying in sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Other times its going to an event that soothes my soul. I would like to do the luxurious side of that but I don't necessarily need it. I'm simple.

    • @kellimccallum7595
      @kellimccallum7595 Před rokem +3

      I agree, "luxury" and a soft life should be subjective, I think. It means something different to everyone. If it's about LV bags and lavish vacations, do you. BUT luxury can also be about having enough finances to visit places or do things with ease, even if the price tag isn't super high to do it. Social media can make a woman think that, without high ticket items and high ticket trips around the world, then we are not doing enough to achieve that type of "ideal" soft life. I like nice things and I also enjoy memorable experiences....even if the cost of the experience isn't high ticket. Soft life, for me, is moving about the world seeing and experiencing things, with minimal worry and stress. Sounds lovely.

  • @lwallace3842
    @lwallace3842 Před rokem +15

    I disagree with using my job position as who I am. I am retired but I was never one to make a job title important. As I use to tell people at work your position is not important on the outside of the building we work in. The only person who’s job title means anything would be that if the President. Other than that most people wouldn’t care that you are the Director of a business…. When you retire from the business then what…. I want to know the real person and people seem soo afraid to be themselves….

  • @glamazini
    @glamazini Před rokem +42

    "Introspection is hard to put on the internet." Girl, tell me about it.

    • @SpiritSoulSense
      @SpiritSoulSense Před rokem +5

      I with you there! Being authentic is the opposite of clickbait and quick fixes which the internet rewards

  • @hrhsophiathefirst4060
    @hrhsophiathefirst4060 Před rokem +35

    Ooh the femininity drive has got me so pissed off that I had to comment! I had to unsubscribe from one mid-40s creator who extolled that she is going to never show interest in or ask any questions in the family finances because that calls her man's manliness into question. And I was like are you kidding me, after all the BS of not being able to own anything doubly for being black and as a woman we are now going advocate it? I manage our family investments and my husband is fine with that because I am more financially knowledgeable. Period. However I do try and get him involved with the decisions and the direction so he has some idea of what is going on. His masculinity is just fine.

    • @trashtalker9753
      @trashtalker9753 Před rokem +8

      Yes! No way I'm going to divest in my financial interest. I trust my husband to deal with finances, but I need to be in the know. I'm a trust but verify kind of person.

    • @jeanettesdaughter
      @jeanettesdaughter Před rokem

      well said and nicely done women who manage the money! masculinity is not dependent on that part of a realtionship, and femininity is not dependent on willful ignorance which may lead the family to financial ruin. come on now! imitating rich white women is a massive fail. and beliece me, all white women are not living as well as some of us seem to think they are. Read Gloria Vanderbilt's biography, Poor Little Rich Girl. WEalth begins in the mind imho. What do we value? Time is money and shortening our lives by chasing and grinding this and that "thing" is not a soft life.

    • @Gullahbae-xm6ms
      @Gullahbae-xm6ms Před rokem

      I equate this new femininity movement with stupidity. These women will learn the hard way when they are single, poor and old,

    • @tracywalker244
      @tracywalker244 Před rokem +2

      God gave us each a brain for a reason 🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @pamelar.edwards2617
    @pamelar.edwards2617 Před rokem +83

    Someone close to me said to me “ I don’t see how you do it all” I responded that’s an insult because if you think I’m overloaded or overwhelmed with tasks help me.

    • @karlay07
      @karlay07 Před rokem +8

      This is what I deal with daily. And I agree it's insulting.

    • @Liz-ic6jb
      @Liz-ic6jb Před rokem +21

      Just sounds like the person is amazed or impressed with you. Most people don't make comments with the intention of being insulting. But it definitely is your choice if you choose to be insulted.

    • @pamelar.edwards2617
      @pamelar.edwards2617 Před rokem +17

      @@Liz-ic6jb The person told me that it was their way of complimenting me. I see where there is some adoration in that. Just because I can do a lot alone doesn’t mean I should have to. It was a clear reminder to them to pitch in and that “team work makes the dream work .”

    • @fdoctor79
      @fdoctor79 Před rokem +20

      And don't forget to ask for help if you need it. 😊

    • @habbaticchio2468
      @habbaticchio2468 Před rokem +4

      @@Liz-ic6jbyou sound just as negative as the person she’s talking about lol

  • @terriespann4800
    @terriespann4800 Před rokem +59

    When your parents become old and feeble, you can visit often and give them love and a smile….and at the same time have caretakers come in to provide some of the heavy lifting. It does not have to be a zero-sum game. Blessings to all. Thank you.

    • @trashtalker9753
      @trashtalker9753 Před rokem +15

      The problem with the caretaker is cost for many people. I'm older, and my parents are both gone, but the concept of a caretaker was foreign to them. But again, there were six children to help them. It still wasn't easy.

    • @mytwosense5223
      @mytwosense5223 Před rokem +6

      I agree, however some elderly don't like the idea of having a caretaker which can be frustrating. I suppose they don't trust strangers and would rather have their children do it. They have some great options but the cost is also tough.

  • @lisaadams780
    @lisaadams780 Před rokem +9

    Don’t be two weeks loyal to theses jobs because they fire people and never give them two weeks notice.

  • @angelasanders4539
    @angelasanders4539 Před rokem +10

    I am holding back tears right now I do appreciate this conversation from 2 women with Brown skin because where I come From no one no matter if you black Or Brown It's just dog-eat-dog these tips were very beneficial to me thank you

  • @willowgreen7263
    @willowgreen7263 Před rokem +18

    This infuriates me. The expectation on so many levels! It never became real for my parents. I left the state and was punished for doing so. To this day, my older brother is incapable of managing his affairs because they never set expectations for him. I have to keep strong boundaries because he has no problem freeloading on me as well as trying to rope me into all sorts of tasks he needs done. He’s good at not showing up at all for me. This is my parents fault.

    • @KC-qr3wk
      @KC-qr3wk Před rokem +2

      Ditto. And I’m sorry 💔

    • @ms.rivera7898
      @ms.rivera7898 Před 2 měsíci

      This happens with a lot of the brothers in the family.

  • @evemagg1250
    @evemagg1250 Před rokem +70

    Hi! It's not vain to appreciate things that are aesthetically pleasing. It's just the affect beauty has on humans. Office buildings, hospitals, and staged homes are giving a certain aesthetic for a reason. We also don't feel guilt when we adorn our homes, so we shouldnt feel guilt for adorning our bodies. ❤

    • @jeanettesdaughter
      @jeanettesdaughter Před rokem +5

      This is NOT a conversation about adornment. It’s just not. The narrative is way bigger than that. A plentiful number of enslaved women were adorned and sold. Still are! Fancies, they were called in the US and trafficked like so many exotic chickens. And still are, globally. This is NOT about adornment or an aesthetic.

    • @evemagg1250
      @evemagg1250 Před rokem +17

      @@jeanettesdaughter I am fully aware that the conversation was NOT about adornment, I was only commenting on ONE portion where Stephanie mentioned being or feeling vain because she notices and comments on a persons beauty when she see's them.... That's all.

    • @jeanettesdaughter
      @jeanettesdaughter Před rokem +4

      @@evemagg1250 okay. my bad.

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 Před rokem +1

      True, that's normal.

    • @9darshana
      @9darshana Před rokem +7

      ​@@evemagg1250I wish I could be more like you. You handled that response so gracefully.

  • @dews3340
    @dews3340 Před rokem +49

    NEXT MORNING 🌄, I just watched the video and thanks for sharing. Black women do need a $$$$ cushion, time and community to support them in taking this step. I have always loved my life from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, up until now. I am an only child and I am selfish. I don't NOT caretake my parents, they had vast resources. I was traveling when they both DIED. MY mom encouraged me to live my life always. Stacey Abrams has a role to play on the world 🌎 stage, just like former Secretary of State Condolezza Rice. Yes to having a housekeeper. I own my womb. Plus I don't take on obligations, no cape here. Self care has been my priority since 73!!!!! I own my Santana Red Master massage table for years now...... ............... Relaxing in my huge colorful hammock swaying away outside this morning, sunny

    • @MsMaxinejoy
      @MsMaxinejoy Před rokem +3

      💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿

  • @truebeautygems1352
    @truebeautygems1352 Před rokem +8

    Ivana's view on caring for her mother is so interesting to me. Caring for my Mom brings me so much joy! I wasn't my first life choice and requires a ton of sacrifice and work but it's so fulfilling!

  • @willbs155
    @willbs155 Před rokem +22

    I just love this, I’m resonate with this so much. Sometimes I take my little one to school and go back to sleep. I’m here in America now. I do love the finer things but I refuse to work hard for them anymore. I love the easy life.

  • @Jojolana
    @Jojolana Před rokem +15

    1:32:47 YAS! Stephanie! I’m the same. A perfect day for me is waking up before the sun but we’ll rested, knowing that I don’t have to do anything but say hello to the sun.

  • @breezluize3282
    @breezluize3282 Před rokem +18

    Ivana is an absolute natural for having her own CZcams channel. More people need to hear what she has to share.

  • @diamondjack-cooper5322
    @diamondjack-cooper5322 Před rokem +4

    Thank you so much for touching on these subjects because I am tired of being a worker bee in my job, relationships,friendships,and situations in general!
    Black women we deserve leisure,luxury,rest,reciprocity,and the best that life has to offer!
    Also you don't have to give people access to your life,house,resources secrets, personal business,and health!
    AMEN,Sista, you've just given me the permission to live my best life!
    AMEN,Sista!

  • @livinglifesosoft3344
    @livinglifesosoft3344 Před rokem +17

    00.23 a soft life is living a life of ease where you take the path of lease resistance and if you have to work you work smart not hard. Even when u are running a business you get extra help or u delegate to help u run the business so that is soft life.

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Před rokem +2

      Ok that's why I'm confused because isn't softness/ "ease" what this channel is about?

    • @livinglifesosoft3344
      @livinglifesosoft3344 Před rokem +1

      @@Heyu7her3 indeed it is, however there are some people who also incorporate a luxury lifestyle ie taking regular trips abroad to what can be considered as being expensive. However for me I believe that living a soft life is not necessarily about paying for expensive trips or things to be able to live a soft life which is living a life of ease that mean being intentional about your life. Removing any thing that is or will cause a great deal of stress. Whether at home,work school or in your business. Everyone will have different ideas on what a luxury lifestyle is. A luxury lifestyle does not have to be expensive. Some could view being able to live near the beach in another country as a luxury lifestyle if they are living in a cold climate country. So a luxury lifestyle doesn’t mean that you’ll have to be grinding and working hard to have luxury. Luxury could mean being able to sleep on a quality mattress with soft bedding enabling you to have quality sleep. So you see luxury is subjective to each person. However the overall aim of living a softer life is removing all major stress or potential stress in your life to make your life easier. As I said previously in all areas of your life Taking the path of lease resistance. And that could be even in relationships u have with others ie if your relationship with someone is constantly a struggle then you would have minimal contact with that person that would bring about less stress and that would be considered u living a soft lifestyle. I hope that makes sense.

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 Před rokem

      ​@@Heyu7her3 same!

  • @G.G.276
    @G.G.276 Před rokem +7

    Saying No Is Very Powerful ! And Helpful!

  • @rawminimalist9043
    @rawminimalist9043 Před rokem +13

    I'm honestly blessed beyond words, I'm gonna stop stressing and just live freely once I get back home to Jamaica to be with my family.

  • @SunSpotGrasshoppa
    @SunSpotGrasshoppa Před rokem +9

    i LUV this! yes black women are the epitome of BEAUTY💎i'm taking notes; i been watching these video sessions with all of these different women doing the damn thing, for a good while. I do bookkeeping at a company, so now I'm starting my own virtual business.. which has been slow in the making, but being privileged to being in these forums has spawned the realization in myself that I cannot continue being unhappy, doing things that are toxic in the name of 'being productive in the world of work'.. wish me success in my ❤unveiling me journey❤ i love US!

  • @fnf2041
    @fnf2041 Před rokem +8

    This was a great conversation but there was a few things not mentioned in this particular video. Many BW don’t necessarily act in the way of white supremacy. Not even sure why this was the catalyst in this video. I do definitely believe the BM are more of the oppressors of BW when using featurism, colorism , texturism against BM and little girls. They’re the ones who continue to perpetuate these ideals. They place the WW on higher standards in comparing to BW and little girls. BM don’t favor BW. Of course there’s definitely racism yes but does not fit every black person’s life. We definitely don’t as BW has WW privileges but we can make our own. We want luxury & beauty too. We just don’t have to move like non blank women. As a woman I like all women, however, BW need to be practice being vigilant and have boundaries & standards for themselves only.

  • @TivonyByTifani
    @TivonyByTifani Před rokem +61

    I’m glad this is being talked about! I feel this femininity and soft life movement is trying to emulate traditional White American femininity. Black Women’s femininity is so much more diverse and intriguing🤎✨ (Slightly off from the topic at hand, but wanted to share my thoughts)

    • @chinneynz7861
      @chinneynz7861 Před rokem +18

      I disagree, we are all women. I am Nigerian and we get treated the way women are treated everywhere in the world. Of course class plays into it but women are women....period!

    • @trashtalker9753
      @trashtalker9753 Před rokem +32

      I disagree. Black women have almost always put less emphasis on their own needs vs others. It's time we learn to say stop or no or it's not what I want over the wishes of others.

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 Před rokem +2

      ​@@trashtalker9753 True!

    • @Gullahbae-xm6ms
      @Gullahbae-xm6ms Před rokem +17

      I agree! Today’s social media version of feminity is very basic and shallow. There is more to being feminine than looking cute or being passive. Hence, I find the movement to be a joke and something I couldn’t take seriously.

    • @edunlap6594
      @edunlap6594 Před rokem

      ​@@Gullahbae-xm6msThe movement is especially a disastrous joke because femininity was never valued for many black women and girls growing up. Presenting as feminine meant being a target for mental, physical and sexual abuse. Now we're all of a sudden selling it because it's a BUZZWORD that people can GRIFT and make money and clicks off of. Black women and girls are still MISSING, TRAFFICKED, ASSAULTED AND MURDERED and it rarely gets talked about within this femininity grift. It's maddening.

  • @gborowme
    @gborowme Před rokem +7

    Stay centered and do what makes you feel good, partner with like minded people 🌺

  • @jaxxon98
    @jaxxon98 Před rokem +10

    I'm with Ivana--7:00 is early! I'm a night owl too!

  • @myzzkim88
    @myzzkim88 Před rokem +12

    Love seeing a millennial talk about this! I believe in the soft life but I don’t identify with buying things anymore.

  • @lequincystuart6792
    @lequincystuart6792 Před rokem +3

    Let me start by saying you ladies are beautiful. You both have gorgeous skin and you look like you’re living your best life. I pray that you ladies stay in God’s perfect peace and love. ❤😊

  • @yuhud6750
    @yuhud6750 Před rokem +2

    I’m going to El Salvador next month & was concerned about safety. Thank for calming my fears about going solo.

  • @ninobk196
    @ninobk196 Před rokem +3

    I believe in doing as little as possible!!! THIS alone is incredible. I have believed this so much in my life. Thank you.

  • @KristieCarterGeorge
    @KristieCarterGeorge Před rokem +9

    Love this! I never put a name to the journey I have been on, but at 34, I made it clear to myself a few years ago that I am doing less and still being financially comfortable, and I have been living my life in the way I define that every day. It's already part of my personality, but for me, part of it was embarrassing "afrominimalism" and not worrying about climbing the corporate ladder.

    • @myzzkim88
      @myzzkim88 Před rokem +1

      I’m in the same boat! Same age and completely identify with everything you said

    • @MegaRose1958
      @MegaRose1958 Před rokem +7

      I decided to go ahead and draw my Social Security at 64 1/2. I am so happy I did and I let my employer know starting 4/1/23 that I only want to work 20 hrs. a week. The only thing I hate is they took away almost $2 an hrs from me bec. I couldn't stay in my position, even though I can step in whenever they need me. In fact they needed me this past Fri. I hate how I gave my all to this company and now I feel unappreciated, but I will have less stress and with Social Security I will be making about the same, maybe a little more. Yes now I can live a " soft life " bec. only working twenty hrs is a lot less stress, I can get my house in order, travel more, rest more, exercise, ride my bike and walk more.

    • @danielleleycon55
      @danielleleycon55 Před rokem

      Me too sis!! See my comment!

  • @agyrrl
    @agyrrl Před rokem

    Absolutely loved this conversation- thanks 😊

  • @myzzkim88
    @myzzkim88 Před rokem +1

    Great conversation!!

  • @peace4all928
    @peace4all928 Před rokem +7

    Thank you lovely ladies. Truly an amazing convo❤

  • @ashpiredliving
    @ashpiredliving Před rokem +5

    Watching the live...y'all glowing ❤❤❤

  • @toyshiajohnson8604
    @toyshiajohnson8604 Před rokem +3

    Great conversation 🥰

  • @blackbutterfly7599
    @blackbutterfly7599 Před rokem +2

    Thank you ladies! Great conversation. It was truly a Blessing for me!❤🙏🏼

  • @ReeMoni24
    @ReeMoni24 Před rokem +5

    All this is goals for me!! 😍I’m going to watch and learn!

  • @stefaniegueye693
    @stefaniegueye693 Před rokem +7

    I love love this conversation! It’s keeping me aware and grounded. I will be attending the retreat soon. I have a new job now as my old job was killing me slowly. However, if this job I’m in even raise my stress levels, I’m out of there. I promise. ❤😂🎉 I’m living a softer life but I want to get to a soft life. I salute both of you thank you for sharing this dialog. So important. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🙌🏿🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺👀

  • @Soiknow2
    @Soiknow2 Před rokem +1

    Morning, excited to hear and take in.

  • @mjaye1712
    @mjaye1712 Před rokem

    Thank you for this discussion. ❤

  • @DianaMillan
    @DianaMillan Před rokem +8

    Hello Lovely Ladies,
    I just wanted you to know just how freeing this video was for me to watch! I’m a 25 year old Black Woman, and prior to watching this, I honestly didn’t even realize how many arbitrary “rules” I’d bound myself with before watching you ladies exist in this world so freely and happily! Thank you for taking the time to do this! Not only was it entertaining, but this video alone has truly changed my life for the better.
    God bless you both! ❤️👸🏿

  • @stephaniethomas1926
    @stephaniethomas1926 Před rokem

    Very inspiring video thank you for sharing😊

  • @dhard02
    @dhard02 Před rokem +2

    Love this! Peace of mind, relaxation, none toxic relationships. Live, support and live your best life’s!

  • @angelasale1704
    @angelasale1704 Před rokem +17

    Great conversation! And both of you ladies are gorgeous!

  • @moniquestokes3445
    @moniquestokes3445 Před rokem +7

    This is one of the 1st CZcams/Podcast type videos that I listen to in its entirety. Thank you beautiful ladies for this information and just for being born🎉

  • @AprilOctober83
    @AprilOctober83 Před rokem +8

    I’ve definitely given an effective immediately notice. I had very good reason to do so!

  • @60secondsofstyle1
    @60secondsofstyle1 Před rokem +6

    Ivana will ALWAYS be winning in my mind!

  • @AcademicLifeDrCrystal

    I loved this conversation 🙏🏾💕

  • @pheralyndove6611
    @pheralyndove6611 Před rokem +2

    Great video! Thanks!

  • @debsmith2789
    @debsmith2789 Před rokem

    Thanks .
    This was a new topic for me.
    It’s realistic to embrace the natural self.

  • @donnaellis7597
    @donnaellis7597 Před rokem +2

    Good morning! First time here and excited!!!!

  • @dews3340
    @dews3340 Před rokem +9

    I just read the book 📚 I am Debra Lee: A Memoir, former CEO of BET. Debra divorced mother now regrets her affair with Bob Johnson at her workplace. She says she wrote the book for younger black women! My library purchased a copy so I got to read it for free. I took a nap after.......... From the Ozarks, Eze and unbothered age 70

  • @vanessalilianherbert8409

    Stephanie Perry is a mentor in/of many things !!! Lead me to the GOOD LIFE !!!

  • @lisaguerra9976
    @lisaguerra9976 Před rokem +1

    I love Stephanie's laughter! Great interview. I got some jewels. ❤

  • @Razzbme
    @Razzbme Před rokem +4

    Ivana has the most beautiful skin! Another absolute beauty!

  • @jennajewert
    @jennajewert Před rokem +6

    Great talk! Stephanie, can I recommend jogging as a nice, softer way to move? I'm 47 and a larger build but my body loves to jog at a slow, steady pace. It still releases lots of endorphins but is less strenuous than running.

  • @TheKayleeanna
    @TheKayleeanna Před rokem +5

    Agreed on the Stacey Abrams knowing how to play the game. 👏🏾

  • @pamelascottAZrealtor
    @pamelascottAZrealtor Před rokem +1

    That's how I feel about Phoenix. Coming here has given me so much peace and mental tranquility.

  • @janellprice5877
    @janellprice5877 Před 2 měsíci

    I am enjoying this conversation so much, a year late but still got so much out of this discussion. 🙏💙

  • @er6333
    @er6333 Před rokem

    Great overall advice! Even for us non house sitters💝

  • @DrBeeSpeaks
    @DrBeeSpeaks Před rokem +5

    Not sure what a soft life is, yet life is EASY because life simply is, it is people who are rough with life. You are life. Be soft. Be easy. Breathe. ❤

  • @jaiyabyrd4177
    @jaiyabyrd4177 Před rokem +10

    🌺🌺🌺🌹🌹🌹
    *Stephanie Perry this is just what needs to be spoken on*
    Thank you for this channel. And thank you for highlighting such a clouded topic.
    I never connected the soft life with excessive consumerism/luxury.

  • @DB99277
    @DB99277 Před rokem +3

    ✨Regarding Beauty, Life is Art and Art is Life✨🙏🏿✨

  • @Wooddweller
    @Wooddweller Před rokem

    Tuning in. ❤

  • @lynewestbrook7435
    @lynewestbrook7435 Před rokem +2

    Hi Stephanie, need to venture in new territories. Overseas seems like my next move of travel. It's so nice to connect to your stream.😍❤💚💟♌🐆🌏

  • @bigqueen4020
    @bigqueen4020 Před rokem +2

    @AuntieLu I fired myself as the eldest girl/child as well. No w I am firing myself as the GO-TO FRIEND!

  • @pearlhanson3590
    @pearlhanson3590 Před rokem +1

    Beloved Sister you and your guest are awesome. . 👍🏿B1 💃🏿
    I appreciate your combined perspectives. I'm able to relate completely. I broke the traditional mode and code of conduct introduced thru assimilation. And supported through a patriarchal system of nonsense just to accommodate insincerity. Insincerity in terms of guilting the daughter into doing the heavy lifting. While men enjoy the benefits of women's contributions.
    Your content gives me Hope by showing that black women can pull together and without European approval. As well establishing what's ideal safe enriching and obtainable. 🤗🌹👏🏾🙋🏾‍♀️

  • @pamelascottAZrealtor
    @pamelascottAZrealtor Před rokem +1

    Love you!!!! Just beautiful❤️♥️💕👑👑👑🧚🏽‍♂️🧚🏽‍♂️🧚🏽‍♂️

  • @callende
    @callende Před 2 měsíci

    30:01. Agreed. Another piece of ease....for me, also means - you don't learn to unlove them. you learn to love yourself more. ~ vinati
    new sub here.enjoying this and learning to live a "soft life". 💜

  • @reneejenkins9990
    @reneejenkins9990 Před rokem +3

    Morning 😊

  • @taraspeaks6293
    @taraspeaks6293 Před 7 měsíci

    So Ill just say this.. as I continue to prayfully research " soft life" meming and interpretation Im leaning more towards the spiritual, mental , emotional and physical wellness of it all. I can understand the luxury association but for me with limitations. Soft life definition for me continues to unfold.

  • @mariettajohnsonnorris1128

    Ivana you are beautiful

  • @jeanine9
    @jeanine9 Před rokem

    Good information. I don't understand the whole soft life thing.

  • @Peace2dagawdz
    @Peace2dagawdz Před rokem

    How can I sign up for the el Salvador retreat

  • @virtualcreativecollaborations

    ♥️ Beautiful Blessings

  • @cola_314
    @cola_314 Před rokem

    How’d I miss this. Replay💜

  • @C.Masterson
    @C.Masterson Před rokem

    That's soooo cool that Wendy looked out for you!

  • @PennoyerFoyer
    @PennoyerFoyer Před rokem +3

    Gorgeous women, both!!❤❤

  • @jeanettesdaughter
    @jeanettesdaughter Před rokem +8

    so glad youre speaking on this. its all over the tumblr and its very ugly to me. its as though whomever is pushing this is actually denigrating black women, as tho we have not always been feminine (on our own terms!) as if deprivation and depravity were not forced on us and as if we have not always found ways to be elegant and beautiful and charming and kind. my matrilineal line never allowed me to think of myself as the mule of the world, as did so many black foremothers like zora, like anna julia cooper and like assata shakur for that matter. i just think that thing is racist and misogynoir. not looking for an amen: just saying, thanks, on my own terms. I love what you are doing tho. theres a difference between ease and expecting somebody to pick you!

    • @macummings7818
      @macummings7818 Před rokem

      Beautiful and profoundly shared
      Thank u! ❤❤💕

  • @nataliejo336
    @nataliejo336 Před rokem

    I dont have the support. Everyone in my family is depending on me. I don’t even have church community. Unfortunately, work is a necessity. I’ve been homeless before. The soft life is easier said than done. Love the convo!

  • @kokopuffs1986
    @kokopuffs1986 Před rokem +2

    Love this. I've always pretty much lived a soft life, but I got push back and criticized. Women in my generation usually have a steering wheel in their back, ready to be driven off a cliff